Dr. Ram Manohar Lohia National Law University

Lucknow,U.P.

Final Project For English

Topic: Assertive Behaviour and its Importance.

Name: pratibha singh Submitted To

Roll No.: 87 Alka Singh

Semester:1st Professor In English

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT :-

A major research project like this is never the work of anyone alone. Firstly, I would like to thank respected Asst. Professor Alka singh, for giving me such a golden opportunity to show my skills and capability through this project.

This project is the result of the extensive ultrapure study, hard work and labour, put into to make it worth reading. This project has been completed through the generous co-operation of various persons, especially my seniors, who, in their different potentials helped me a lot in giving the finishing touch to the project.

This project couldn’t be completed without the help of my university’s library Dr. Madhu Limaye Library and its internet facility.

‘I am glad to have made it’

Thanking You........

CONTENT

Aim of the topic……………………………………………

What is assertiveness?..................................................

Passive behavior………………………………………..

Aggressive behavior……………………………………….

Passive-aggressive behavior………………………………

Assertive behavior………………………………………..

Attitude…………………………………………………..

Assertiveness In Leadership…………………………….

Advantages…………………………………………......

Disadvantages………………………………………….

Characteristics of Assertive Communication………….

Conclusion………………………………………………

Biblography……………………………………………..

AIM OF THE TOPIC:-

The project aims to study and trace out the various forms of behavior that are usually observed in them. Also, it has closely observed the patterns of their methodology and would also suggest few effective methods and steps that could make their communication more effective.

What is Assertiveness?

The term assertiveness is generally used to denote confident behavior. Though this implication isn’t incorrect, yet it fails to accurately depict what behaviorists mean by assertive behavior. In fact, just acting in a confident way without understanding what assertiveness really means can do more harm than good. For example, when two ‘confident’ speakers debate an issue without the honest intention of empathetically listening to the other and thus being prepared to allow the other to influence the decision, poor interpersonal communication, or harmful conflict, is the usual outcome. Such behaviour creates more problems than it helps resolve. Researchers postulate that assertive behavior is marked by openness and receptiveness. In contrast, passive behavior particularly lacks openness while aggressive behavior is mostly devoid of receptiveness. The mark of an assertive person is that she is open, stands up for her rights and communicates in a way that facilitates assertive behavior in others. Thus, assertiveness is a sort of attitude one possesses to oneself as well to others. In fact, it is a set of attitudes that governs the perceptions and cognitions which are manifested as one’s general style of communication. What this in effect means is that an assertive person is predisposed to behaving in a way that facilitates effective communication, problem solving and teamwork. This does not, however, mean that an assertive person adopts a fixed or predetermined style of communication which is not responsive to the peculiarities of the situation or to the demands of the relationship. In fact, she is alert to the realities of the moment and can monitor herself as well as read other people’s non-verbal cues. She is emphatic in putting her point of view across but her sole aim is to solve the problem rather than to dominate others. Therefore, she is particularly careful with her tone and body language; keeping the objectives of the interaction in mind. In other words, an assertive person communicates to achieve the situational objectives, keeping the relational objectives in mind. This can be understood better with the help on an example. Let’s visualize a situation where a manager strives hard to achieve objectives each day on the job. Most of us get very involved in attempting to achieve such targets as the corporate world tends to get more and more stressful with each passing year. With performance and results being our watchwords it is but natural to put pressure on our subordinates to achieve goals at any cost. Quite often we encounter situations where our subordinates disagree with us on the best possible course of action. We try to convince them but when we don’t seem to succeed we sometimes end up dominating them and forcing our point of view. This often happens because of our involvement with situational objectives. If our subordinates choose to trust their own judgments, and fail, we might even severely chastise them for visible insubordination. Such situations are more often than not fraught by acrimony and everybody seems to be playing the blame game. Thus, an over involvement with situational objectives results in passive or aggressive behavior, as seen above. On the other hand, if we bring our relationships into focus, in addition to the situational

objectives, our perception of reality changes. For example, in the above-mentioned situation, if the manager also focuses on her relationship with her subordinates, namely, that of a mentor, trainer and guide, then, her style of communication may change. Since a key prerequisite of effective mentorship is mutual respect and liking, the manager might refrain from communicating in a way that undermines the relationship. Thus, while emphasizing that the situational objectives must be achieved the manager will now seek collaboration and ‘ask’ people how best it can be done rather than ‘tell’ them. Even if the situation requires that directives be issued, the manager may explain the whys because she would, in her mind, be performing the role of a guide or mentor. Thus, the tone of the communication will remain supportive or objective and not 4 acrimonious or confrontational. The manger will now be more likely to patiently listen to the people’s apprehensions and actively engage them to dispel misgivings. This is how focusing on the relational aspects besides the situational and organizational objectives, may lead to assertive behavior.

Passive behavior:-

Passive or non-assertive behaviour comes primarily from the Obedient/Adapted Child or Nurturing Parent ego. Passive people adopt the life position “l am not OK you are OK.” Passive behaviour is an avoidance of behaviour or an accommodation of others’ wishes without standing for one’s own right. It involves self-denial and sacrifices. A person who is unassertive or passive by reason of his interpersonal fears may not be able to complain about the poor service in a restaurant/hotel room, contradict a friend with whom he disagrees, get up and leave a social situation that has become boring, or express affection, appreciation or praise. Such persons as employees learn early in their careers that if they speak up they are not likely to get a raise or promotion and may even lose their jobs. Passive people often have very poor self-esteem and are unhappy. The passivity is based on unknown fears—fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of displeasing others, fear of retaliation, fear of hurting others and being hurt, and fear of getting into trouble. Passivity of behaviour is not by birth but it is because of what is learnt in early childhood.

Aggressive behavior:-

Aggressive behaviour comes primarily through Critical Parent or Rebellious Child. Aggressive people are demanding, rude, and dominating. They want their own way and force to gain control. Aggressive people are very competitive and do not like to lose. For winning in any interpersonal conflict they will not hesitate to cheat to gain control. They have a tendency to violate the rights of others to get their way. Non-verbal communication used by aggressive people includes cold response, speaking loudly, threatening gestures and belligerent postures, showing impatience,

shaking fingers, and making fists. People avoid contact with aggressive people and transaction is minimal.

Aggressive people appear to be self-confident but the behaviour is more often the result of poor self-concept. Although they are in ‘I am not OK’ position, but consistently try to prove that they are in OK position by attacking and controlling others. Since they have inherent inferiority complex, they try hard to prove their worth by violating others’ rights.

Passive-aggressive behavior:-

Passive-aggressive behaviour is displayed in different ways due to split personality. A person may behave aggressively with his subordinates but may behave passively with his boss. This person may have assertive difficulties which lead to inadequate behaviour.

In some situations a person may use passive behaviour and then shortly afterward uses aggressive behaviour. For example, an employee may accept to do a job in front of his boss and immediately afterwards may get annoyed, slam the door, and shout at the next person he meets.

Sometimes, a person may be behaving in a passive way but building up hostility within himself. After repeated use of such behaviour, he builds up pent-up feeling due to repeated irritants and suddenly he becomes aggressive with another person. The person attacked does not understand the full situation and blames the man who behaved aggressively. This results in bad interpersonal relations.

Assertive behavior:-

Assertive behaviour comes out of Adult ego state with “I am OK, you are OK” position. Assertive people express their feelings, emotions, and thoughts without being aggressive. They express their ideas, feelings, and thoughts firmly and emphatically without being rude and unreasonable and without offending others.

These persons stand up to their rights without violating the rights of others. Non-verbal communication of an assertive person includes positive facial expression like smiling, eye contact, pleasant voice, erect postures, and firm gestures.

The person with assertive behaviour is having positive self-concepts. They do not get threatened and do not allow others to control their behaviour. They project positive image of themselves.

Assertive personality

A truly assertive person possesses following three characteristics:

Communication: He can communicate with people at all levels. His communication is always open, direct, honest, and appropriate.

Active orientation: He has an active orientation to life. He has a goal of his life and goes after what he wants. In contrast, a passive person waits for things to happen where an assertive person attempts things to happen.

Revelation: He reveals himself freely.

Many people have an erroneous concept of assertion confusing it with aggression and telling themselves “aggression is always bad.” They fail to distinguish between being liked and being respected. Some people lack assertion because they have not acquired the skill through experience and practice. Someone who lacks assertion says “yes” to a request when he does not want to give an affirmative response. He does it because he has never learned the art of saying “no.”

ATTITUDE:-

Attitudes are considered an evaluative predisposition to perception and behaviour. They are evaluative statements or judgments concerning objects, people or events. A more accurate and scientific description is that an attitude is an enduring system that includes a cognitive component, a feeling component, and an action tendency. It can be classified as positive, negative or neutral (which can also be viewed as a non-existent attitude). However, it is not possible to ‘see’ somebody’s attitudes; they have to be guessed by observing behaviour. Attitudes are influenced by values and also by experience but, once they are formed, they are generally long lasting. There is a lack of clear terminology and distinctions between attitudes, values and beliefs. Therefore, in the absence of consensus, we will limit our explanation to what has already been understood. An interesting thing about attitudes is that though they are evaluative statements which influence behaviour, they are not always an accurate predictor of Behaviour.

Assertiveness In Leadership:-

Assertiveness is very important in leadership – it is one of the key leadership skills for achieving success in leading a group of people. Leaders who are not assertive enough fail to stand up for themselves or their groups or organisations and thus allow themselves (or their group or organisation) to be taken advantage of.There are many benefits to being assertive in the right way – by standing up for yourself and your group and communicating your needs, you will gain respect for yourself and your group, because people respect those who can honestly express their feelings and needs in a non-confrontational manner.

Being assertive can help relationships to become more authentic, as you will be able to share your honest reactions with others and encourage them to do the same with you. In addition, expressing your feelings about other people’s behaviour gives them an accurate indicator of where they stand and enables them to modify their behaviour.In fact, although many people fear being assertive because they worry about the potential for conflict, not being assertive can also

damage relationships because you end up sacrificing your integrity and denying honest, personal feelings – which can lead to resentment and damaged relationships.

ADVANTAGES:-

There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:

It helps us feel good about ourselves and others It leads to the development of mutual respect with others It increases our self-esteem It helps us achieve our goals It minimises hurting and alienating other people It reduces anxiety It protects us from being taken advantage of by others It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and

thoughts, both positive and negative

DISADVANTAGES:-

Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person's rights means that you won't always get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and therefore not accept this style of communication.

CHARACTERISTICS OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION:-

There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:

eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not

intimidating timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than

WHAT you say.

CONCLUSION:-

To sum up, organizations need to impart assertiveness training to their employees across all levels. This will enhance the quality of interpersonal relationships within the organization. Consequently, managerial effectiveness will be enhanced and pathological stress diminished. Organizational efficiencies will increase dramatically because poor interpersonal communication is said to be the number one cause of managerial failure. According to one survey, 64% of the employees do not generally believe what their managers say,and, over half of all conflicts are said to emanate from communication errors. Therefore, organizations must start providing assertiveness training to their personnel today!

BIBLOGRAPHY

1)http://ezinearticles.com

2)http://www.anants.org/articles/Assertiveness.pdf

3)Elementary Behaviour of Composite Steel and Concrete Structural Members

4)Dos and Don'ts of Behaviour Management 2nd Edition