Practical Tools for Positive Parenting

Workshop One

Positive Parenting

Valuable Parenting Qualities

Caring Good Listener Flexible

Loving Trustworthy Consistent

Patient Creative Playful

Follow-Through

Structured

1.1

Parents Contribute Great Strengths & Valuable Experiences

Fid one person and share a story

1. Tell a brief story of something that worked well.

2. Share 3-5 “Valuable Parenting

Qualities.”

1.2

Workshop Topics

Workshop 1: Positive Parenting

Workshop 2: Creating Confident Kids

Workshop 3: Communication that Works

Workshop 4: Creating Structure for Achievement

Workshop 5: Discipline - Practice for Success

Workshop 6: What Children and Teens Need to Succeed

Workshop 7: Parents Engaged for Academic Success

Workshop 8: Graduation

1.3

Vital Parenting Partners Outcomes

1.4

Parent Roles Skit

What are some of your Dreams and Goals for your children?

What are the Risk Factors your children face that could prevent them from reaching these goals?

Parent Roles – Building a Framework for Success!

1.5

Parent Roles in Student Achievement

1.6

Encouraging

•Building an achievement Identity

•“Can Do” Spirit

•Positive Self Image

Supporting

•Children and Teen’s Learning & Development

Creating Structure

•Family routines

•Boundaries for time and behavior

Communicating

•Talking together

•Expressing high expectations

Leadership

•Advocating

•Parents as leaders at home, school, and community

Modeling

•Lifelong Learning

•Reading Daily

•Enthusiasm for Education

Partnering

•Connecting Home to School

•Monitor School Work

•Plan for Further Education

Collaborating

•Working Together for School Improvement

•School and Community Networks

Research Demonstrating Parent Engagement Outcomes

1.7

Research Links Family Roles in Education with Indicators of Student Achievement

1.8

Best Practices in Parent Engagement from Research

1.9

Implementing Best Practices in Parent Engagement

1.10

Positive Parenting Examples Include:

• Reading Together• Playing Together• Showing High Expectations• Talking together about a student’s

career and educational aspirations

Recognizing & Affirming Strengths

1.11

Workshop Two

Creating Confident Kids

Paper Heart Skit

Words that wound the hearts of our children

2.1

Paper Heart Skit Critical Comment Strips

2.1

1. Never mind- I’ll do it myself! Why are you always so slow? (Impatience.)

2. I know I said I would do it, but something came up that’s really important. I’m sure you don’t mind. (Not keeping your promises.)

3. That’s stupid! I can’t believe you did that! (Overreacting.)

Building Up Our Childs Heart

3. I am so proud of you! Look at how much you’ve improved!

17. You mean the world to me.

34. You’re a very considerate person.

49. I trust you take care of that. You’re very Responsible.

77. Wow, that’s exciting!

84. I understand.

Identity Destroyers

Yelling

Critical; never seeing good

Conditional acceptance

Not forgiving

Ignoring; being too busy

Not listening

Failing to Discipline

Parental Fighting 2.2

Identity Builders

2.3

Say “I love you” every day.

Give your child hugs!

Do special things with each individual child.

Give your child choices.

Listen to your child’s feelings and honor those

feelings.

Encourage your child.

Praise your child.

Let them teach you new things.

Identity Builders

Honor them in the presence of family and friends!

Allow your child to make decisions.

Accept you child's differences in temperament, interests, abilities.

Make promises you can manage.

Allow your child to sometimes fail as well as succeed.

2.4

The Power of Words

Words for Encouraging

Words for Affirming Character

Words for Listen Well

2.5

The Power of Words

Positive RestatementWorksheet

What gets in the way of parents using our words in a positive way?

Power of Words - Restatements

Think of how each of your children may hear these words.

How will they make each child feel?

Positive Restatement: How would you rephrase it to be more positive and effective for your child?

Positive Identity:Self Esteem Treasure

It’s really exciting to guide our children in acquiring the

valuable treasures of positive self-esteem. At the same

time, we also instill values that steer our children in using these treasures to make positive contributions in society.

Discovering the Treasures

of Self-Esteem!

2.6

Revealing our Childs True Value

Revealing our Childs True Value

Who was there for

you?

Who made a positive impact in your life?

Constellation of Support

2.7

Workshop Three

Communication That Works

Practice Hearing Your Child’s Feelings

Distracted vs. Listening with Full Attention

Role Play #1: Distracted

Role Play #2: Full Attention

3.1

Practice Hearing Your Child’s Feelings

Fixing vs. Listening Fully

Role Play #1: Interrupting - Fixing

Role Play #2: Hear Them Out Listen Fully

3.2

Practice Hearing Your Child’s Feelings

Preoccupied vs. Listening

Role Play #1: Distracted

Role Play #2: Full Attention

3.3

Listen: Heart, Ears & Eyes

3.4

Soak it up! Sponge!

Absorb what the child is feeling.

Listen with full attention and without judgment.

Hearing Children’s Feelings

Principle:

Parents Lead by Listening

3.5

•Listen first so your children will talk.•Model listening so our children will listen.

Hearing Children’s Feelings

3.5

Large Group Skit

HOT and COLD GAME

Untangling Mixed Signals

3.6

3.7

Clear Instructions

Direct Communication

Workshop Four

Creating Structure For Achievement

The Argument Trap

Five Reasons Why Kids & Teens Argue

4.1

Why Kids Argue

4.2

Kids want to be in charge but Parents are the Leaders!

We are not leading and they are not learning.

If we turn overcontrol of our children…

Screaming Put Downs Yelling

Throwing Things Hitting

Exploding in Anger

The Erupting Volcano

Creating Conflict-Free Routines

4.4

Ending Arguments & Setting Boundaries

Stand Strong

• Use few words

• Don’t engage

• Repeat like a broken record

4.5

Practicing with the Shield

Don't Take the Bait!

4.6

4.7

Creating Structure for Achievement

Workshop Five

Discipline: Practice For Success

The Difference BetweenDiscipline & Punishment

• Training or learning that develops character, self-control, and moral capacity.

• Training that empowers a person to learn from mistakes and be equipped for success next time.

Discipline:

Punishment:

5.1

• Imposing a penalty for breaking a rule or the law; often in retaliation.

• Dealing with roughly or harshly; castigating.

The Eight Characteristics of Discipline and Punishment

Discipline1. Provides direction and

correction.

2. Values learning from mistakes.

3. Focuses on the future.

4. Attitude of love and support.

5. Directed at the behavior.

6. Promotes security and self-control.

7. Parents invest time and effort.

8. Manageable for parent and child.

Punishment1. Inflicts a penalty.

2. Requires perfection.

3. Focuses on the past.

4. Attitude of anger and retaliation.

5. Directed at the individual.

6. Promotes fear, resentment, and anxiety.

7. Dismissive. Not investing time.

8. Overwhelming.

5.1

DisciplineChild Learns:

• Responsibility

• Self-control

• To be a learner

• To recover from mistakes (Resilience)

• To see self as a winner

• To see self as okay

• Positive Self-identity

PunishmentChild Learns:

• Not to get caught

• To avoid punishment

• To lie and be sneaky

• To manipulate the system

• To see self as a failure

• To see self as not okay

• Negative self-identity

The Difference Between

Discipline is Practice for Success

5.2

Consequences Are Training Tools

What are the Consequences?

• They are training tools that give children the mental and moral capacity to develop positive actions and habits.

• They are the weight room that builds thestrength to act morally and to successfullyget along with others.

5.3

Two Types of Consequences

Natural

• Happens naturally.

• Parent stays out of the way.

• Nature takes its course.

Logical• Generated by parent.

• Parent sets up consequences.

• Parent follows through.5.4

Practice Using Natural Consequences

• Problem 1: School Lunch

• Problem 2: Teen Money Choices

• What are some other examples or stories from your own experience?

Practice Using Logical Consequences

• Problem 1: Coloring on Walls

• Problem 2: Toys All Over the House

• Additional examples:• Cleaning the Room

• Getting Up for School

• On Time for Dinner

• Homework First

Eight Guidelines for Setting Logical Consequences

5.5

Case Stories

Mark which of the Eight Guidelines for Logical Consequences were violated.

Case Story 1 Case Story 3

Case Story 2 Case Story 4

5.6

What is the Logical Consequence?

5.7

Teaching Through Positive Discipline and Consequences

5.8

Building Character and Responsibility

5.9

What sometimes keeps us from following through with consequences?

Follow through is finishing the race!

What are the skills needed to finish well?

What outcomes resultfrom finishing well?

Parents Ignore the Polls

5.10

Be the Parent Now or Later

5.11

Workshop Six

What Children and Teens Need to Succeed

Parenting Styles: Effective Structure & Support

6.1

Highway to Success

6.2

Results of the Engaged Family System

6.3

Parent Roles in Family –School Partnerships

6.4

Partnering

•Connecting Home to School

•Monitor School Work

•Plan for Further Education

Collaborating

•Working Together for School Improvement

•School and Community Networks

Leadership

•Advocating

•Parents as leaders at home, school, and community

Join the Parenting Partners Team to train the next group

of parent leaders!

Your leadership will benefit more parents and children!

Workshop Seven

Parents Engaged For Academic Success

Success in School Starts at Home

Workshop 7 Choices &

Extension Workshops

Level 1

• Top Study Skills: Empowering Students to Succeed

• Family Literacy:Building Reading Power (Modeling)

7.1

Level 2

• The Family Meals Challenge: Powerful Health and Literacy Practices

• The Parent/Teacher Connection: Productive Parent /Teacher Conferences (Partnering)

• Building Blocks of Success:Youth Development Assets (Encouraging)

7.1

Level 3

• Innovation Parent Leadership: Advancing Parent Engagement (Leadership)

• Leading Powerful Workshops:Parent Empowerment that Create Sustainability (Collaborating)

7.1

Level 1: Top Study Skills

7.2

Level 1: Family Literacy

7.3

Tools for Talking Together• Family Literacy in Early Childhood• Family Meals and Traditions that

Build literacy

Tools for Reading Together• Early Literacy Development

through Environmental Literacy• Connecting to their Interest, and

Reading Traditions

Tools for Connecting Home and School• Parent Engagement that Boost Learning

Level 2: The Family Meals Challenge

7.4

Level 2: The Parent/Teacher Connection

7.5

7.6

Graduation

Team Hoyt