THE HIDDEN BLIND SIDE

THESIS

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment

Of the Requirements for the Degree of

Sarjana Sastra

By

STRIMAYA SINDI

392014005

ENGLISH LITERATURE STUDY PROGRAM

FACULTY OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS

UNIVERSITAS KRISTEN SATYA WACANA

2018

i

THE HIDDEN BLIND SIDE

THESIS

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment

Of the Requirements for the Degree of

Sarjana Sastra

By

STRIMAYA SINDI

392014005

ENGLISH LITERATURE STUDY PROGRAM

FACULTY OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS

UNIVERSITAS KRISTEN SATYA WACANA

2018

ii

iii

iv

v

COPYRIGHT STATEMENT

This thesis contains no such material as has been submitted for examination in any course or

accepted for the fulfillment of any degree or diploma in any university. To the best of my

knowledge and my belief, this contains no material previously published or written by any other

person except where due reference is made in the text.

Copyright@2018. Strimaya Sindi and Erio R.P. Fanggidae, M.Hum

All rights reserved. No part of this thesis may be reproduced by any means without the permission

of at least one of the copyright owners or the Faculty of Language and Arts, Universitas Kristen

Satya Wacana, Salatiga.

Strimaya Sindi

vi

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Pernyataan TIdak Plagiat ................................................................................................................ ii

Pernyataan Persetujuan Akses ...................................................................................................... iii

Aproval Sheet ................................................................................................................................ iv

Copyright Statement .......................................................................................................................v

Table of Contents ........................................................................................................................... vi

Summary ..........................................................................................................................................1

Story: The Hidden Blind Side ..........................................................................................................3

Reflective Paper .............................................................................................................................27

Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................................30

References ......................................................................................................................................31

Logbook .........................................................................................................................................32

1

SUMMARY OF THE STORY

Ditched and sent away by her parents made Amanda had to share her lonesome life to live

with Rian, her cousin. She was accommodated to Rian’s place ever since her father had passed

away. Being abandoned and neglected by her parents turned her 20’s life to be unstable with the

hardship she had to go through. Her college life was like a great chaos as her long gone identity as

Nicholas splitting back to her in no time. Nicholas was born ten years older before Amanda. He

was born to be a harsh, short-tempered man, and lived in denial against the ones who picked on

Amanda after his first traumatic experience of living with Amanda’s abusive father. Amanda

started to grow confused as she found out her peculiar things she did way too opposite from her

origin. Knowing that it burdened her mental, Rian recommended her to a psychoanalyst named,

Theresia. Only from the short bond they made, Theresia started to trace the causation of her strange

behavior by making Amanda talking to her other personas. Accidentally, Amanda discovered

herself that she apparently had another unnamed hidden identity and she so called Esther. Esther

was like a key to Amanda when she revealed about herself that she could connect her to the

traumatic events. Ester is known as the weakest and fearful yet ready-witted person. She was born

to cope Amanda from all the insults by making herself as brainy as what her father demanded. It

was alike a mice that finally found the roof after its long run in a maze, Amanda was awakened by

the truth that she had already gripped on her two personas all this time from the meeting of them

three.

RINGKASAN CERITA

Sejak ditinggalkan dan ditelantarkan oleh kedua orang tuanya, Amanda selalu mengisi

hari-harinya yang sepi untuk tinggal bersama Rian, saudara sepupunya. Ia hidup dalam satu atap

bersama Rian sejak Bapaknya meninggal dunia. Semua itu telah mengacaukan kehidupan

remajanya yang Ia harus lalui. Di kehidupan perkuliahannya, Ia bertemu kembali dengan sosok

lainnya yaitu Nicholas, yang lahir sepuluh tahun lebih tua dari Amanda. Ia lahir sebagai sosok

yang kasar, pemarah , dan hidup dalam penolakan untuk melawan orang-orang yang sering

menjatuhkan Amanda setelah Ia mengalami trauma pertamanya, disiksa oleh Bapaknya. Amanda

menjadi bingung saat Ia mengetahui hal-hal aneh yang dilakukannya jauh berbeda dari sifat

2

aslinya. Saat Rian mengetahui bahwa hal ini dapat mengganggu mentalnya, Rian lalu membawa

Amanda ke rumah seorang psikiater yang bernama Ibu Theresia. Ibu. Hanya lewat pertemuan

singkatnya dengan identitas Amanda yang lain, Ibu Theresia dapat menyelidiki penyebab-

penyebab dari perilaku anehnya. Tanpa disengaja, Ia pun juga berhasil mempertemukan identitas

Amanda yang lama hilang, yaitu Esther. Meskipun Esther dilahirkan menjadi sosok lainnya yang

terlemah, Ia mampu menolong Amanda untuk memperlihatkan kembali pada masa lalunya yang

kelam dan traumatis. Hal ini menyadarkan Amanda bahwa hidupnya selama ini banyak bergantung

kepada dua identitasnya yang lain.

3

The Hidden Blind Side

Before you begin to read my story, I demand you to accept me that they’re not eventually

real, to accept me that they’re just a fabrication made of everyone’s single hatred, to accept me

that I would never make them to be disposed. If you wonder who are they with me, most likely

you’ve ever became that someone with hatred to a certain people. And if you ever meet someone

nonsensical like me, please tell them that you remorse. Thus, let my story begin.

Beep─ beep─ beep!!

Beep─ beep─ beep!!

The sound of my digital alarm clock woke me up at 06:00 AM. I stretched my right hand

to a small table near my desk and reached out to hit the turn off button as the sound screamed

louder in my ears. It took me a minute to gather my consciousness and realized that I fell asleep

at my desk all night. I hopped off from my chair and accidentally stepped on spilled liquor on the

floor. The stench of bitter alcohol was too strong and polluting all over my room. I thought who

were dared to trespass into my room without my permission, but I had to get hurry for class. I

decided to knock on Mas Rian’s room still with my sleepy face.

As far as I know, he never locked his room whether he got busy with his works, taking his

private time, or even sleeping, so I automatically thought that he gave me a free-entry access to

his room, I guessed. The knob of the door was the light to be turned. First, I tucked my head to

peek and saw his sleeping figure faced the wall. For few minutes, I could only sit and contemplate

since I wasn’t sure that I should ask him about this thing since it was still early and it might shock

him as well. At the end, I shook his shoulder slowly to wake him up just to feed my curiosity.

“Mas, can I ask something?” I asked him lowly.

“What is it?”

“I feel like something wrong happened last night or something else. I stepped on a liquid

and it smell like a whiskey on the floor. Did you see someone butt in my room?”

4

“What the heck! How did it happen?” He opened his half lidded eyes widely then swatted

his blanket away and shifted himself to sit next to me. “No, I saw no one except us and I slept late

too”

“I swear I knew nothing about yesterday. It was so rare for me though to fall asleep in my

desk,” I paused for a while, recollecting what activities I’ve been done from the day I woke up

before going to sleep at night. “All I could remember since that morning were going to class,

having lunch at cafeteria... that’s all.”

“The market!” he added.

“Are you sure? I don’t think I had plan for shopping yesterday.”

“I lent you some money yesterday, and then you said you had to buy something in urgent

for your needs.”

Both of my brows puckered listening to what he just said. It really didn’t make sense since

I barely borrow him some money. If I ran out of money, I could ask my mother that still afford me

to transfer double allowance for my monthly needs. I hardly believe if that person is me. I was

about to ask him more for the details, but seeing his half-sleepy expression, made me feel pitiful

on him.

I only nodded to him “Okay... I’m sorry for breaking in and disturb your sleep. I didn’t

expect this thing to happen at all, continue your sleep”

“Wait─ could it be that guy who you claim as your half?” asked Mas Rian when I was

about to close the door. I did not get what he said and just shrugged it off. “Well, maybe…”

***

I checked on my watch that pointed its number at 08.00. Around the shelter where I was

sitting, served a sight the road was quite free from hurly-burly vehicles unlike the usual. This

small town was like dead instantly, but something suddenly pushed me to catch an earlier bus as

fast as speed of light. I was thinking that probably less than 30 minutes were enough for me to get

in my campus. I sat alone at the red-painted bus shelter near my boarding house. Time flew fast,

5

the bus then came into my sight far from what I have predicted. The bus arrived along with number

of passengers that could be counted with fingers. Fortunately, I could recognize them by their

familiar faces although I didn’t know their names, but we used to go to the main campus together.

Supposedly this wouldn’t take too long since all the passenger went to the same direction so that I

could save more time.

Along the route to my campus, I used my time to fill my daily logbook. As I flipped the

book page by page and sorted out according to the date, there were two empty pages. It was weird.

Never did I forget to fill my logbook even when I only did small activities at home. I fished all my

stuffs out of my bag on my lap, in case the lost two pages were loosened there. There were only

books, pencil case, my specs, and small piece of paper bills there. I checked the bills that is written

a whiskey payment and handwriting which said,

Save yourself and get yourself away from them before I fire my gun to their foreheads.

Always remember, you don’t need toxic people out there to befriend with you because of what?

They would only give you wounds. I’m sorry Amanda; I really care about you and let me handle

everything for you.

A second after, this short letter gave me goose bumps all over my skin. This letter also

notify me a person who get drunk last night was Nicholas, the other face of me and the guy that

Mas Rian mentioned earlier. It’s been a while since he promised to me that he wouldn’t come back

and make a mess. Quickly I had to look back any events that happened last two days ago and fix

them all; but I was so clueless about this.

“Darn you Nicholas, how could you be such troublesome for me! ” I cussed to myself

before getting up and queuing to get off the bus. Thinking how to fix the mess he made needed

more patience and I got to be tricky in so that it wouldn’t trigger the beast like him to come out

again.

My class started at 09.00 and I had the worms grumbling inside of my bowel. Since my

class started at 09.00 and there was still 40 minutes left for me to feed my starve first. My feet

automatically brought me down to the cafeteria where this place has been made as meeting point

for students. I was ahead of time like an early bird as I arrived at the cafeteria. Half of the food

6

stand were still closed include my favourite small food stand owned by Pak Suryo. Meanwhile,

half of other stands were I walked down to the cafeteria near my faculty building. Usually, I ate

at my one favourite small food stand located in the front cafeteria and the owner itself is Pak Suryo.

As I arrived at the cafeteria, I still saw half of the food stands that were closed include the food

stand owned by Pak Suryo. Meanwhile, half of other stands are still preparing their appliance

before their open hour.

“Excuse me Bu; may I know why Pak Suryo’s food stand is still closed?” I asked to one of

the food stand owner that located across Pak Suryo food stand.

“Oh… I don’t really know where he is now. He usually opens his stand earlier than the

others. Maybe he still needs time to recover,” said her before she gave meme cynical gaze as her

eyes meet mine. She scanned me from head to toe. “Wait… aren’t you the culprit who causing a

mess to Pak Suryo’s stand yesterday?! I really am sure that kid is you. She looks similar like you.”

“I’m sorry, Bu, what do you mean by that?”

She didn’t say a word. Instead, she walked to the front of Pak Suryo’s stand and grabbed a

black plastic bag and went back to show me what was inside the bag.

“Here…take a look at the proofs you’ve made yesterday! Don’t pretend like you know

nothing; you should take a lot responsible to him!” She began to raise her voice and seemed to be

aggravated.

Silence came for a while as I looked what was inside the bag and saw pieces of broken

plates there. The name of Nicholas suddenly came up again in my mind. I hardly believe he could

behave this worse and causing damage to people’s properties. Besides that, I feel so embarrassed

over myself although there was no one who knew that the doer was actually the other side of me.

“Bu, can we talk things out a minute?” I tried to calm her down while gesturing her to sit

at the near chairs for two. “Could you explain me what was really happened from the start? I

really…really…really am sorry for making such a chaos to his stand. It’s not possible for me telling

you the truth behind it now; I don’t have enough time to tell you now”

7

At first, she was just staring at me suspiciously because who would bother to understand

or even listen to the explaining if they already caught the riot red-handed. After she saw me

begging to her, her stern face then slowly turned to concern as she tossed the plastic bag on the

large dining table in front of me while heaving a deep sigh.

“Fine─let me enlighten it for you. It was started around this hour since I always used to see

you coming to dine at Pak Suryo’s stand. I even clearly saw you from a far, you looked somewhat

unhappy and depressed that time. The gist is that your figure seemed to be strangely different

unlike from what I see as usual, because I often see you coming here in early morning. Then, I

faintly heard you and Pak Suryo talking about your family and plan for holiday before suddenly

you threw a tantrum. You pushed Pak Suryo backwards until his head hit sharp edge of the table

and whip down the plates. I was about to separate you both but the other students at the cafeteria

did it first. His head was bleeding and it made him became unconscious after.”

“May I know how’s his condition now? Did he get enough aid?”

“Yes. His wife has taken him to the hospital for aid.”

It was a relieving thing to hear that Pak Suryo had enough cure. Yet it was also giving me

additional stressing since I had no choice rather than paying all of his loss.

“Ah- I am terribly sorry to hear that…” I asked for more apologize. “Last one before I’m

leaving, can I get the address to Pak Suryo’s house?”

She nodded before tearing a small piece of paper and noted down the address. “As a middle

aged woman like me, witnessing the cause you made yesterday made me feel pity on Pak Suryo.”

I could only look down and gulp the regrets away because what can I do? It had already

happened though. While still being all ears on her, I reached one of my hands out to get the address

she wrote but she held the paper back against her fingers.

“You’re an already grown up womanyou should have reflected upon your action. . You

made someone older than you being injured and it still can’t be acceptable for public eyes! Good

thing I let you pass from calling the police or else you might get sued” She added before releasing

the paper she held.

8

“Alright Bu, I promise I’ll behave well next time...I should be attending class now. Thank

you for your information, I’ll make sure to visit Pak Suryo after class” I nodded slightly before

leaving her.

***

The clean white board in front of me became a silent companion as I was in my class. I

seated alone at the middle of the rows as not many of the students haven’t present and began to

think draw imaginary solution for the problem that Nicholas made on the white board as if I was

a dull-witted student called by my teacher to go forward and solve a math formula. The same like

other student, I was hoping the answer could just automatically pop out itself, so that I could go

back to my seat peacefully. Yet, the formula was too complicated to be solved and it kind of

frustrated me a lot. Should I tell everyone about him already?

Not long after, a sound of footsteps was going up from the downstairs. I could hear the

other students came into the class along with the lecturer. I chose to shift my seat to the right near

the wall, thinking that there would be some people who need more seats. My guess seemed to be

right; there were three people approaching my row and I shouldn’t turn my head to tell that all of

them are sucks because these people are Dira, Mella, and Cindy. Three of them and me went to

the same school together ever since in secondary school. Firstly, I’ve made friends with them

though it didn’t last long since this girl named Dira found out that my father has been fired from

his company. In addition, I’ve been attended to unhealthy environment where money and

reputation were mattered there. Since that time, I felt that I was like someone good for their

throwing shade material.

I tried so hard not to keep an eye on them and stay focused during the lecturing since I

didn’t want to wake Nicholas again, but the situation felt so intimidating for me during the class.

My hearing gradually became sharpened whenever people starting to make a noise. I hemmed and

hawed between being cautious and suspicious to hear through their grapevine.

Psst!─Psst!

Someone exclaimed in whisper from behind while poking my shoulder. I turned around to

see whose hand poking my shoulder, without saying a word she handed me a piece of exam paper

9

which has been graded by the lecturer. I took the paper and saw that I got an A. I thought that it

was definitely Nicholas who did this exam. We might be one but we were gifted different brains.

“Wow…wow..wow.... look who’s back topping the rank again?” said Dira in mocking tone

and she sat just two chairs away next to me along with her accomplices.

“It’s Baba our black sheep! Drunk as skunk feeling like the only punk like who we met

yesterday,” chimed Cindy in between her chuckle and then the rest muffled to laugh.

I only stared at them for a second before fixing my sight back to concentrating on the

lecturer. Since the class was getting boring, these three people were unstoppable to get louder

picking on me. They were giggling around and got busier with their own world until they got

carried away from their origins.

I then looked back to them every now and they were busy drawing a doodle, when Mella

caught my eyes she quickly looked back down and scratching what she just saw. I was pretty sure

that she drew me. I got distracted and I couldn’t keep my eyes off them as they crumpled the sheet

and passed their drawing to the people next to them hand by hand. I was suspicious to look the

drawing that it made people burst out laugh. I became giddy as the crumpled sheet reaching front

rows. My hands and forehead were sweaty when a couple of guys sitting in the front were about

to throw the paper back to the girls. Seriously though, how come they picking on me in the middle

of class session.

“Got it!” I caught the paper ball that the guys were about to threw to Dira but it slipped.

Immediately I turned away to avoid them snatching the ball and unfolded the paper which the

words they wrote making my jaw dropped.

There it drawn my face with horns on my head, long fangs in my teeth, and it also said,

‘Burn the satan’ ‘Let’s just send away to the prison’ ‘Son of bitch’ ‘A Psycho doesn’t go

to college’

I gulped down all the words that I just read as I couldn’t contain my tears more. The words

were like slit in the arms and hurting my feelings a lot. The more that saddening me is that I was

10

alone and I had no one got my back. I turned to look at them back who were slyly snickering at

me as if they won a game.

Slap!

I threw my hand forward as hard as I could and whipping it across Dira’s face. The crack

of skin contacting skin echoed off and muted all people inside the class. My patience was running

out and my temper was flaring. I barely had chance to think of my actions. At the moment, I could

sense Nicholas was here for rage as well.

“The fuck─!” She stared at me with her wide eyes as her hand slowly made it to her fire

red cheek in disbelief.

“YOU KNOW WHAT DIRA─ YOU’RE EXACTLY THE BITCH HERE!” I snapped her,

my hot blood were already rushing through my veins. A girl stood up panicky and immediately

backing me off from attacking Dira but I kept on struggling to lay my fist on Dira’s face because

she deserved it.

“So what? Still remember eight years ago; you banged my head till I bleed and that proves

you a lot to be the bitch, Idiot!! ” She yelled back with a triumphant grin spread across her face.

“Now listen, I shouldn’t be telling everyone about this but you have gone too far exceeding

my limit; I know you’re purposely picking on me to hide your own disgrace! You better be worry

and mind your father fucking business, he begged me to get some alcohol ; almost sold drugs to

cover your tuition and now there is you, who else rather than his junior murder helping him to get

all my money”

“You piece of shit…your mouth smells stink─!!”

Our war of words continued to attacking each other with fistfight, heating the situation in

the class. Both of us at each other throats like savage hungry beasts fighting over dominance. It

lasted a bit long as if there is no tomorrow for us.

“You both stop this mess! This is not wrestling area!” The lecturer tucked us down with

his saying and silenced the whole room. “Now if you wanting to do a duel don’t do this here! This

11

is a school, you’re also in my class, and you both are supposed to have manner!” said the lecturer

in anger. He came up just directly to me and pushed me down to the floor. “And you though…you

will get scores for causing a mess this morning!”

“But sir you can’t just do this thing one-sided to me, you have to listen my explanation

though” I defied myself to the lecturer but he refused.

“No more excuses from you, Amanda. You’ve been caught admitting yourself for

consuming alcohol and you’re still involved in violent incident few days ago. Since you both have

interrupted this class you may leave, now,” said him as he directed his finger to the door, signalling

us to leave.

I heaved a deep sigh and felt my chest tightened, I stood up on my own feet then packed

all my stuffs before walking out from the class. My eyes were glistening with tears as I told to

walk out from class and passing by pairs of eyes that watching me. I quicken my pace and leaving

Dira first and the whole class inside. Beside, I still had a promise with myself to visit Pak Suryo

in case he would speak up and tell me the truth about yesterday.

***

Finally I walked out from my campus but I was still aimless to find the address. My watch

said it was 11.00 am. The sun was quite stinging to burn my skin and for a second its scorching

caused my surrounding to spin, my head was pounded, and I felt like I want to vomit. I tried to

massage away the headache and closed my eyes to fight off the nausea but it got worse.

“God…please not now” I leaned my heavy back against a post on the street and fished my

hand through my bag to grab some depressants but I couldn’t find it.

“Amanda! What are you doing there?! ” shouted someone across the street. The voice was

familiar in my ears.

“Mas Rian?” I turned back to see him but my eyes were already blurry and my knees

became weak. He quickly got off from his car and caught me immediately then guided me to his

car.

12

“Tell me what just happened a while ago,” He uttered. He then looked at me in panic while

driving his car.

“How did you─”

“A friend of mine saw you walking out from class and he told me by phone afterwards,”

He added then offered me a bottle of water but I rejected it. “Is it something related to your guy

friend like what I said this morning?”

“Yeah he’s here…Nicholas is here again. He made a mess since couple days ago and he

didn’t want to see me hurt by Dira so he was angered and revealed her family secrets I─” I paused

for a while and heaved a shaky sigh. I was a bit agitated to tell him about Nicholas since it was too

sudden and the worst was about Pak Suryo. “I’m sorry… I still can’t take everything that has

happened since this morning”

He nodded understandingly and gave soothing pat on my shoulder as I already burst in

tears. “There..there it’s okay, I’ve been living with you for so long and you must be shocked at

first to see these thing happened to you.”

I sobbed hard and couldn’t stop the unbroken stream of tears. “He may know me a lot but

until the end of the day he would never be in my position as for now. He only does his thing to

vent his own wrath, not even behaved well at least once for me.”

“Uhh…I have someone who can solve this problem by any chance. Honestly, I’ve been

thinking to meet you with this person so long since things went wrong after you know Nicholas─

I can guarantee this for your own good, would you mind if I take you there now?”

“No. To talk along with him is useless, It will be horrible than this. Who knows he might

hurt you and that person you want me to meet with as well” I objected and my voice started to

became more shaky and suddenly the thought of visiting Pak Suryo crossed again in my mind. I

thought that I had to go to him first and find out everything before it was too late. Without any

hesitation, I felt like had the urge to break the car window and escaped myself away but Mas Rian

held me back by my arms strongly. “Let me go! I have to meet someone!” I screamed and struggled

to release myself from him but he tightened his hold.

13

“Amanda please─stay!” he pulled me back to my seat and stopped the car. “Listen to me.

I told you just few moments ago, that I’m not taking you there to harm the both of you! I become

worry if you keep on acting this way. You’re supposed to care about your mental condition!” He

emphasized his words.

Silence came for a while and after that I threw my head back against the headrest and

sighed in defeat. I decided to just give up and hope that everything that might happen be helpful

for me.

It took like an hour for us to get in this someone’s place. From outside the gate this house

is pretty big with classic character of the building. According to Mas Rian, the owner of this house

is someone with high-degree in psychology.

“Stay here a minute, I’ll check if she’s present.” He got out and left me inside his car.

While in his car, I laid down the seat and rolled down the side window to get some fresh

air since this car was parked under big shady tree. I pinched my nose bridge and somewhile

kneaded my forehead to rub the remained dizziness away.

“So you just give up on me this way… psshh come on, that was still a good thing for you

because I only slapped that bitch girl named Dira on the cheek though I was about to kill her at

the same time” said a voice that sounded cynical and full of ridicule.

By hearing that voice, I was startled and opened my eyes widely. In front of me there was

sitting a man or it can be called the other side of me at the back. He smiled from ear to ear as my

eyes meet with his on the rear-viewmirror reflection. “Leave me alone Nicholas” I said coldly to

him.

“I’d do that only if I’m done seeing anyone who hurt you to say sorry with bullets pierced

in their head as accessory,” He chuckled.

I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep breath; the words he just uttered were mean and

nonsense, meanwhile still at the back he laughed at me sarcastically. I didn’t want to think of it

seriously since that would only cause him to make it come true. For me Nicholas was more like

slithery immoral being, he didn’t use logic to aim what he wants; include destroying people.

14

A few minutes later, Mas Rian came out from the house to pick me up. “Come, she’s vacant

for today,” He opened the door and walked me into the house.

As I headed straight along the aisle to the living room, I was gaping at the sight of the house

with white marble as the walls also with sturdy pillars on the right and left side of the room. In the

middle of the living room, there was a white haired lady sitting behind her desk with her formal

outfit waiting for me.

“So this is the cousin you told me a while ago” said her while smiling brightly, she then

stood up and extended her hand offering for handshake “My name is Theresia but you may call

me Ibu, I am a doctor also one of Rian’s lecturers in his magisterial study, we’ve known each other

like friends anyway”

“Just right, Ibu!” Mas Rian grinned and leaned into me then whisper “She’s the person who

will to have a talk with you today,” I just nodded in acknowledge.

“I am Amanda, nice to meet you Ibu.” I smiled back at her and immediately took her hand

then gave it a firm shake.

“Umm..excuse me Ibu, I need to go for appointment with my research supervisor first and

I’ll make sure to be back soon,” said Mas Rian with grimace before he patted my head then scurried

off, leaving me and Ibu.

“By the way, have you had lunch today? She said while seated back on her chair. ”Your

face looks pale and you must be haven’t, I’ll call my assistant to bring you some meals” she added

before I got to answer. Not long after her assistant came with carrying a tray full of mouth-watering

dishes.

“Here have some, just make yourself at home okay?”

“Thank you, Ibu.” I nodded softly while taking a seat across to her and decided to take a

sip on tea first.

“You’re welcome,” She said while proceeded to take a sit and getting her book note and a

pen. “So, how long have you been living with Rian?”

15

“Since five years ago right after my father passed away in recent years…also my mom who

sent me to share a lodge with him”

“I’m sorry about that, but what happened to your parents back then? Shouldn’t you now

live with your mother too…,” asked her.

“Well, they decided to be separated way and my mother is now happy with her new family”

I put my half empty cup back on the table and looked away. “I don’t want to talk about my parents

, the thought of talking about my parents will only cause Nicholas to get awake”

“Who’s Nicholas ? Tell me more about him”

“He is my other half also friend of mine. He can be a ticking time bomb sometimes. No

matter how small or insignificant things provoke him, he would easily blow and lose his temper.

He just caused a mess with people this morning and few days ago. I hate it when my name become

worst by him” I paused to talk for a moment and took out all traces he made when I was unaware

of anything . I handed to Ibu the bill with his handwriting letter I found this morning and my exam

result. “These all to prove that he exists . Well, actually I’m not good at every subject but I was

shocked to know that I could make an A. Then his letter he left inside my bag made me worried

and feeling guilty to Mas Rian because he lied to him that he borrowed Mas Rian’s money for

monthly needs yet he used it to buy alcohol…the letter though also said that he wants to kill the

people who disturb me. People outside are unknown about him and they started to make various

speculation about me and they be like judging me, saying rude words, and stuffs when they saw

him became furious and making a fuss. It really stressed me out today, I had to clear things up

alone and somehow I feel a bit neurotic these days to overcome people and feeling myself to be

more distant to them”

“Okay─ can we discuss with him?” she looked at me in concern. “I’m curious to know

more about him and reasons why he behaved this way”

“Sure but…how will you talk to him? I don’t think he wants to be awaken right now”

“Just follow me,” She stood up and tugged one of my hands gently then we walked to a

lounge chair in the middle of the room which surrounded with large bookshelves. She then

16

motioned me to sit on the chair. “Come take a seat here, just sit and relax yourself. I won’t do

anything to harm you both”. I nodded and laid myself down to the chair.

“Now tell me favourite names or things of Nicholas” asked her while sat next to me and

flipping through her notes.

“I can’t remember the whole things he likes but he’s fond of old literary works, deep quotes,

and makes song lyrics for himself. He too ever saidto me, he likes little girl a lot that he ever

spent my allowance to buy stuffs for kids” I said innocently, Ibu laughed at my sayings while

jotting down her notes.

“Well, that’s interesting! Let’s meet you both with these kids who stole his attention and

also your money” said Ibu.

“As if they’re the thieves” We chuckled and the conversation kept going until my eyelids

grew heavy and then fell me into drowsiness.

***

After a while, I found myself awake still at the place where I was sitting with Ibu but she

wasn’t there. It was just me alone. I looked around and wondered where did she gone with her

assistant. As I stepped my feet touching the floor, the classic furnish of the room were gone out of

the blue then everything turned white. I couldn’t help but staring my surrounding open-mouthed

while shuddered, “Am I still alive or am I just dreaming?”

I patted my both cheeks and tweaked my arms tight, yet still can feel the pain. I sigh a deep breath

and managed myself not to be panic. Perhaps if I lurked around and call for someone names, they

would probably respond─ I supposed to.

“Hello, is anybody here? Hello…,” I shouted while walking to the middle in caution.

“Hello! I’m here!” said someone in a dark-low-pitched voice distinctly breaking the

silence.

17

Quickly I strode around to seek from where this voice came but there was still no one that

I found yet. Few moments later I heard something like an echo filling the whole room. I tried to

follow the echo where it lead to the source and there it was; I spotted a mirror frame that fit into

my height. This mirror looked strange in my eyes, it was hollow and it also had something like a

water ripple in the midst with blackness radiating in it. I squinted my eyes and went closer to the

mirror. The ripple seemed like real but why was it black colored unlike the neutral ones.

I mustered up a courage to dip my forefinger into the centrum; it felt nothing. Deeper and

deeper I started to feel a fingertip touching mine too. Firstly I thought it was just because of me

touching my reflection but it seemed to touch a fourth dimension mirror; that’s made a difference.

As I hit my finger several times afterwards, this reflection didn’t follow the same gesture that I

did. One more try I did by groping around its finger and it still wouldn’t move like statue. “Ouch

this is so chilling, I shouldn’t have done this..” frantically I pulled my finger out of the hole but

the forefinger in the reflection moved, pulled me in all of sudden.

“Looking for me huh?” said Nicholas with his familiar hyena cackle as I got carried

inside and face to face him.

“Dumbass ! You startled me!” I cussed spontaneously and getting myself off of him. “Now

explain to me why the hell you injured Pak Suryo and what made yourself got drunk after; don’t

you know that you messed with my name for the nth time?!”

He laughed. “First, drinking make me look more interesting as what Hemmingway has

said─ okay no kidding, I’m sorry I was tempted that time cause you know that right?” He wiggled

his brows jokingly yet somehow he looked silly and creepy.I palmed my face at him uninterestedly

. His expression then suddenly changed as he knew that I didn’t like him to play around. “Talking

about Pak Suryo, you know how I hate people intervening our lives right? He ticked me off by

asking how are your parents now after they separated. I’m so sick to hear that and they gave you

much pain ever since the first day your father torturing you. Good thing I was there for you to bite

all the bullets yet I still wonder why would you never give me any single reward as friend” his

protest suddenly changed his facial expression.

“What do you want then?”

18

“I want to take control everything, from your mental to physics. I’m tired to be fake for

and being nice to people while they’re actually don’t deserve it. You’re suck as a person to handle

them. You shouldn’t have to care about your feelings to them.” He lifted his chin straight while

looking at me sharply and smirking. “Are you willing to?”

“Of course, not.” I answered him with the same look. “Until the end of time i’ll never pass

myself for you”

Immediately, silence filled the atmosphere. There were no more voices came out from us

two. All we did was just staring each other still in the same look, ego, also coldness. This moment

of silence then didn’t last long; a sound of glass crashing in our ears and the flicker movement

from this glass caught our eyes.

I turned around and gasped at the sight of one other mirror emerging from the opposite

wall. “Who did that?!”

“I think someone is coming…” said Nicholas abruptly.

I attempted to look closer at the wall but my feet felt like were chained to where I stood.

This place was getting weird! I could only hope that someone would take me out to nowhere from

this place or wake me up if I fell into a deep sleep.

“Bapak…..Ibu…” said someone whose voice seemed belonged to a girl. I stood still and

this girl made her appearance through the glass flakes in limestone sized. I looked at her from head

to half of her body dumbfounded. She is not making any big differences from me and Nicholas,

she was just a girl in her early teen age.

“Who are you?! Are you me….or just someone from the past?” said myself who barely

comprehend the on-going situation, she looked alike my teen age .

She was petrified as soon as she noticed and able to see our existences. “I’m just myself…I

don’t have a name”

“Uhh…well you have a name; Ester! Tell me what brings you here and why are you looking

for your both parents?”

19

“Umm..Maybe your subconscious sent me here, I’m looking for Bapak to let him know

that I made a good grade today. I hope they would be happy and give me a bike for present” said

her while smiling to herself.

Hold on for a moment, the thought of the A that I got from my examination directly struck

me. I was quite sure that it must be her who was taking over me during the exam but previously I

thought it was Nicholas who did my exam yesterday since the exam was held on the same day

when he got drunk. A following question then hit up in my head─Why was I unaware about her

existence all this time if she was alive in me with Nicholas?

“Nicholas! You lied to me and you have no way to escape; tell me the truth about her!” I

yelled at him.

“No one did tell you that I’m smart and good at every subject you learn. It ain’t me. Perhaps

the good adjective suits me the most is that I’m canny….canny to get things that I want without

anybody noticing that. Oh I forgot something! Tell Ester that his father already dead” cunningly

he snickered at me in the darkness. In the right side, Ester was sobbing, she was like being cuffed

behind her weep.

“Hush no need to cry Ester…I’m sorry that it took me so long to notice you. Honestly, I’m

still totally unsure for how long you’ve been staying there and live under his control. Will you

forgive me and also Nicholas? We’re sorry to tell you that Bapak has passed away”

“No. Never! Why should I be sorry to a fragile thing like her? Only revenge and satisfaction

can compromise me!” said Nicholas angrily.

“You don’t be such an immoral to her; it’s obvious already! You used her to deceive

yourself for God who knows the amount of times you did it and now you and your greed wants to

take over me!”

“Enough you two!” exclaimed Ester dimming the spar between us and rubbed her tears

away. “It’s none of our fault here…neither it’s me nor Nicholas. We both firstly came together to

save you and prove that you worth to stay alive. I mean take a look at us now, I’m here like

maladjusted, broken, too weak to deal against people meanwhile Nicholas is like someone who

20

always burnt full of fire, he scares no one who provoke him or belittle him down, crystal clear isn’t

it?” her words were such an eye-opener for me, I had no idea that the appearance from these mirrors

told a lot about them. “We both are actually synced as one in you but I’m just too weak, I don’t

have much confidence to show up rather than him. I’m sorry if my existence here surprising you

or actually unwanted. All I can do here is purposely to help you telling the world that you’re still

able to be educated. I’ve seen all your ups and downs you’ve been through during schools

because…yeah I love to read, memorize, and especially learn new things”

“How did you know everything about us here?”

“Well, I sensed it at first that we’ll be meeting one to each other here so I’m prepared to

this. Would you mind if I expose how we first met? I just think that you must bring something to

be remembered after your return from this place”

I nodded eagerly hoping that I could find a hint to make my way home. “Yes. Please show

me, Ester”

“Whoa… Whoa…Whoa! What’s that all for Ester. Why are you being nonsense? Hah!

let’s just say it to her already that you’re exactly envy of me to be stronger over you. Oh! Also

you don’t need to waste her time by giving some recalls in her past because pftttt─that’s silly,

equals to sacrifice her to lion cage.” Nicholas chuckled scoffing us.

“Ignore him. I’d be down to see everything,” I cut Nicholas off. He shook his head in

disbelief

“You are insane..”

“You’re who making me insane; you are pissing me off till my blood runs dry too. Now

shut up your mouth and give her space.” Finally I could snap him again and he didn’t even dare to

breathe a word.

***

I swerved around, looking into Ester which her reflection was like turned into a wide screen

in front of me. She was suddenly disappeared and the mirror gave me a scene when I was still

21

eleven. I was sitting on the floor with digimon and hello kitty plushies accompanied me on my

sides while watching a weekend cartoon at my grandma. I still could feel how happy I was that

time, the happy kid who always being pampered without having to think hard about how hard life

is when I got busy with my own world.

Seconds later, my maiden aunt suddenly came and grabbed the remote control in my hand,

“Don’t change the channel, Tante…I’m still watching Doraemon,” I cried while pulling back the

remote but she tightened her grab.

“Who are you to dominate the house?! Ask your father to buy a house and have your own

TV!” She wouldn’t give up yet and removed my hand off from the remote but then it got slipped

down and broke. Her face turned red immediately as she looked down at the broken remote, she

then smacked my head so hard and knocked me down with her leg “There! Look what you just did

you bratty!”

I wasn’t able to do anything so all I could do is just crying for help. From that moment, I

saw like a glimpse of Ester started to appear and live inside me. She was powerless over there as

an innocent kid, her eyes were shaky filled with tears.

“What’s going on here?” asked Bapak who out of nowhere already stood in the doorway

with my mother. As soon as I saw Bapak, I sobbed and crawled to him straight. “No, It wasn’t me

Bapak. I didn’t do it!”

“Good girl, Ester! Now tell Bapak you’re not wrong, the witch so called your Tante who

did it!” I shouted to her but she didn’t hear me. I strode forward and stood an inch in front of the

mirror, “COME ON ESTER, SAY IT!!” I banged the glass to get her attention while shouting

again at her but still, she couldn’t hear me.

“Teach your daughter to behave well, Mas. She threw tantrum then broke the remote

control when I was watching TV a while ago,” said Tante which made my eyes ogled and scowled

at her smear.

“Do you still want to continue?” asked Nicholas from the back, interrupting me. “I suggest

you, don’t.”

22

“Why?”

“It will be worse…you might end up hating me and your father more,” he tried to

emphasize.

“It’s okay I just want to know what happened next. Come on Nicholas, till when you’re

going to watch me suffering like this?” I begged and kneeled down to him. Nicholas was seemed

still furious after watching the accusation toward me, but soon the fire that were blazing in his eyes

slowly went out at last.

“Fine. I’m supposed not to tell you about this and keep everything shut for myself but if

you keep insist on it… I won’t take any responsible for what might happen to you,” said Nicholas

“Uh huh…I’m sure I’m ready for that,” I nodded and agreed him. In a blink of eye,

Nicholas took his turn to disappear and the scene was continued.

This time I was dragged by my father and he tweaked my left ear and then force-walked

me to the small storeroom located at the middle of my Grandma’s house. I witnessed myself that

actually he was followed by my mother, but she was helpless that she could only stood in a big

gap far from my father with her mouth covered by her hands.

Bapak then shoved me into the room and he immediately took his leather belt off from his

waist and snapped it across my face so hard. “Take this for being such a brat! How many times do

I need to whale you like this just to make you stop and being a nice kid!” said him furiously. He

lifted me up and pushed me down again and causing my head to slam into the wall behind me just

before he made another slap on my face with his brown leather belt.

SLAP!

The slap was louder as clap and it stung my face and it had left a red welt on my cheek

after. Just in the corner of my lip there was small cut and blood trickled from it. Strangely, when I

looked into myself there in the eyes, there was no trace of tears not even on my reddening face.

My eyes were just narrowed and rigid following my father’s movement.

23

“Hey! Don’t just stay still! Tell him you’re not wrong!” I yelled again to the battered me

as I couldn’t any longer take his abominations yet she was just sit and gave a familiar look like

what Nicholas had on me. His eyes were like counting how many sins my father has made to leave

a stain on his innocent daughter.

“You’re grounded for a day and let starve accompany you!” said Bapak before he slammed

the door and leave me inside the storeroom locked.

“How could you just sit still there and didn’t say a word Nicholas…Tell me HOW?!!” I

exclaimed my throat out, lots of disappointment that only remained in me.

“Have you ever thought like no matter how your father being mean to you, he’s still your

father after all?” said Nicholas coldly with less expression. “If I fought against him the chance that

you had to stay alive and still be recognized as his family member was zero. I tell you the truth

that actually he had done this not only once in his lifetime”.To see what Nicholas has been doing

to bear all my pain somehow moved me to tears. He let all of my burdens and pains shouldered on

him alone.

“It doesn’t stop here, I still have one more thing to show you that your dead father

apparently was a greedy and heartless monster” he suddenly concealed himself again into the

darkness. In a blink of eye I was brought back to when I had issues with Dira at my secondary

school.

Came Dira with her same formation cliques and kicked my table “Hey poor little girl, what

do you think you’re doing here now huh?” I didn’t take my eyes off the book and got busy flipping

from page to page, pretending there was no one around me.

She then started to get irritated over my ignorance; she snatched the book in my hand and

tossed it away. “Hear me you deaf! I’m talking to you,” she said. I cupped my face in both my

hands averting a gaze to her while slightly trembled in fear, maybe I was already tired to confront

with bullies and hypocrites like them so I gave up.

24

“Look at me you ratbag kid” she snapped while removing my hands off and pulling my

chin up to make me face her. “Know yourself that you’re useless here, your father has been fired

and went bankrupt for stealing money ew” said her mockingly.

“Then what’s your problem, Dira?”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! I don’t want to sit around trashy like you and I should’ve let you drown in

the sea” her chuckle along with the whole class awakened Nicholas’ wrath. They made my normal

face turned into a frown. I was feeling sorry for her, she and her friends suspected that I was

someone good to be their target but little did they know that they were just messing with a man in

his thirty.

“Well I’m sorry to disturb you with my presence; I don’t really have much time for this

case but it’s impolite for you to break in someone who’s studying for exam,” Before she got to

speak, quickly I swatted her hand away from my chin, grabbed a fist of her hair then swung her

head to knock against the rough wall. A thick of lood drops then running down from her forehead.

We both were sorry to accidentally use her back as a tool to vent my frustration on. The victory is

ours.

A full excitement of getting seventy five for my exam score and won to knock over the

bullies was drawn on my face on my way home. I couldn’t be happier that I made myself running

instead of getting on local transportation to get home. As soon as I arrived at my home, I slipped

my shoes off and went straight to see Bapak who had been waiting for me in the TV room.

“What’s this….? Seventy five doesn’t push your rank in class. Remember kid, I’ve been

sending you to expensive private course even now when Bapak is still unemployed. All you need

to do is to make Bapak feeling proud of you if you have a good predicate among your classmates.”

said him in disappointment. I was expecting for fireworks but he was just gave me a cold ice.

“But I already did my best for this, Pak…”

“Still, It wouldn’t attract people to give you scholarship!” He just shorted with me then

turning down the TV volume, and gave me hard staring eyes. “Come here,”

25

Hesitantly the teen me walked forward to him. My hands were trembling and became

sweaty all of sudden when I made an eye contact with my father. His eyes flashed with anger

mingled with lightening as the color of the sky became shades of dark grey. Whilst out of the

mirror, I wasn’t sure and my instinct was about to tell the teen me to back off, yet she just walked

in regardless. No sooner, she had herself being pushed on to the floor following with a kick on her

shin. She finally burst in tears as she couldn’t take the sudden pain coming from my father.

“You stupid useless kid! I put on my high expectation to raise you to be the only pride for

this family but you crossed out the good name more of our family!! You think your father didn’t

know that you beat one of your classmates today huh?! I should’ve sent you back to live with your

mother and her jerk!!” he angered and kept on beating me.

“No! Don’t blame her, your kid already did good Bapak!! PLEASE!!” I begged aloud to

my father as my heart was hammering inside my chest like it belonged to a rabbit running for its

skin. Both anger and fear from Nicholas and Ester were no longer felt like separated, they were

mixed as one awakened my consciousness that in reality, I didn’t have anyone I can rely on and

have someone or people who always supporting and give any appreciation to me no matter when

it’s thick or thin. Foremost, I never got to have someone to be the person I could make them as my

grip. There were only my father who was strict and my mother who ditched me to live with her

new family; both of them were only remained as toxic in me.

I was just about to scream again at him hoping that he would’ve listen and change his mind

but it was too late and everything already happened. Sobs were erupted as I decided to look away

from the scene that no one else might think that it was real and take it as living nightmare. I squat

down all fours, trying to make everything slow to something in my brain yet I couldn’t cope with

it. My emotional pain kept on flowing out of every pore as if my brain was shredded into pieces

from the inside. The room suddenly was like spinning encircled me. My head grew heavier and

my sight slowly went blank.

***

A sound from a snap on fingers made me awake to see Ibu who was still sitting next to me

along with Mas Rian. Though my eyes were wide open, I still couldn’t comprehend the whole

26

situation of this room a while ago. My heart was pounding so fast when I felt like I was choked

out from a nightmare.

Ibu sat herself closer to me and began to speak, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’ve been

under hypnotize a while ago. How are you feeling now kid?”

After hearing her words, I barely felt that I was already back into my reality. Everything

just felt the same like the moment I met Nicholas and Ester, the sorrowful throwback, and being

insulted by people. It was like a lump of agony that settled in my mind. In the end, words failed

me to speak out my feeling, so I just hugged both Ibu and Mas Rian tightly then cried my pain out

to let them know how lonely and worthless in front of people. I actually realized that I was wrong

for keeping things that hurt me left unsaid while the other hand I had Mas Rian and other people

who would give me they ears. Yet, I was true and should’ve said that I actually hate my parents.

Most parents may always provide their own children the comfort that their children need, but don’t

blame me if I had Nicholas and Ester to settle in me. We’ve been survived together to this point,

they both were also made of yesterday’s memories, could be today’s flashbacks, and tomorrow’s

healing. It thought it would be hard for me to lose any of them as we already walked through the

past and present, coping to cover all of our pains, and protect each other to keep me alive.

****

27

REFLECTIVE PAPER

Introduction

In recent times, there still can be found many cases from domestic violence to bullying

report in society. If these cases still haven’t been able to be eradicated in a long period, these cases

will absolutely result a psychological disturbance to the victims. According to the data source that

I cited from Healthy Place, it stated that there are more than 75% of the victims are minors who

mostly have experienced traumatic events such as bullying, harassment, under 12 years of their

age. (healthyplace secs.3.) If we take a closer look from this case, minors will also surely

experience several post-traumatic events after reaching their adulthood. This also including the

impact on their personality development which mostly occurred in the age of 20 to 30, equals to

when they’re entering a period of searching their identities. In Indonesia, there can also be found

various cases of personality disorders and one of them is about Dissociative Identity Disorder

(DID). This dissociation can split a person into certain amount of identities in order to prevent any

threatening mental stresses. One of the cases that is still highlighted in Indonesia until present

belongs to Anastasia Wella, a woman with her personality fractured into 9 personas. After knowing

her case from a TV channel, I am interested in upholding multiple personality disorder as the

subject of discussion for my short story by studying deeper from psychoanalysis point of view.

Research and Writing Process

This short story wouldn’t meet its accuracy without doing a research. To make my short

story more lively, I used my observation time by mostly watching DID related movies such as

Sybil, Split, and Tokyo Boy. Each of main characters from these three movies already gave me a

big portrayal to describe on how my main character will be in detail. Moreover, I used the remained

time to do a short interview with someone whose background comes from college student, whose

the name can’t be mentioned due to their request, and allegedly a person that having multiple

identities. The interview was secretly conducted by me through observing her daily activities and

having an idle talk with her and her friends once in a while. Instead of getting many information

from the interviewee, this interview resulting the close friends of this interviewee who spread a lot

about the information and I could only get a very few factual data from the interviewee.

28

The failure from interviewing and getting a lot of facts from the interviewee didn’t stop me

to seek and gain more ideas during my writing process. Firstly, it was such a hilly and rocky road

since I got stumbled by the little time I had before the deadline of submission. I had to twist my

brain from cancelling out the amount of alters in my main character into two-only characters to

reducing the over limit words in my draft. In the end, with the advising from my supervisor I could

keep going to write my story although I had to shorten the conflicts and changed into a massive

conflict coming from my main character.

Furthermore, I used other alternatives to dig my story deeper by doing library study. Still

with the limit time that I had, I merely able to read one-shots fan fiction, entrusted the creative

writing techniques book and literary theory book which contained the theory applied for my short

story from Psychoanalysis Criticism with its theory written by Freud.

Talking about the theory used in my story, I applied Freudian manner for my main conflict

that can be read by the symptoms from the frequency of past-trauma or frustration and the

repressed from consciousness (p.100)

Mechanism of the story

Adapted from Freud’s theories, I portray Amanda as the main character of the story to be

someone under her conscious while the rest of her alters were portrayed to live under the

subconscious. The first alter is Nicholas whose his bold and full of anger traits represents the

repression and displacement by employing his ego also satisfying his aggression with a substitute

object (e.g. verbal and non-verbal harassment). On the other hand, there is also Esther who is in

the story only takes small act and tend to be more dominated by Nicholas. It is because of her traits

represents the denial and sublimation. In other words, she is portrayed as someone who admitting

her weak self yet she wants to satisfy her impulse into something constructive for her defense (e.g

being nerd and introvert)

Conclusion

In the end of the story, I purposely set the end to be in cliff hanger as if it tells to the reader

that someone as DID survivor have been struggled faintly or clearly unseen ever since they were

still in their childhood and it also takes long time for them for recollecting their split personalities

29

as a whole. Hopefully, through the story that I have written people will be care to aware that

people with multi personal disorder are actually exist and refrain themselves for picking on

someone who they think is the weakest.

30

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This final project would not have been possible without any support. First, I would like to

thank the almighty God for His blessings and guidance to finish this works. Second, I would like

to thank the supervisor of my thesis project, Mr. Erio R.P FanggidaE, M.Hum, for all the guidances

and suggestions for my improvements during the process of this project also the second reader

Mrs. Suzanna Maria, H.Hum, for the suggestions to my thesis project.

Third, my deepest gratitude goes for my both parents, whose their constant supports

motivate me to accomplish my four-year study. I would also like to extend my great appreciation

for my duo partner, Popina Primanova, who has been sticking with me through various ups and

downs since the freshman year until now, Monica Prescelia, and Jessica Kalvaria for being my

partner during the working of my thesis project. Another appreciation is given to all my friends

in random group from Ciduk Biru, Gianlyne Gloria and Chantika Lily, Skripsweets Supports

founded by Sesar Pratama, and lastly for my fellow batch friends from Fourteeners for all of their

constant information and supports and also the lecturers from Faculty of Language and Arts.

31

REFERENCES

Split. Dir. M. Night Shymala. Blinding Edge Pictures, 2017. Film

Sybil. Dir. Joseph Sargent. Warner Bros. Television, 2008. Film

Tokyo Boy. Dir. Shunichi Hirano. Metanoia Film, 2008. Film

Wolfreys, Julian. Introducing Literary Theories. Edinburgh: Edinburgh Universty Press, 2001.

PDF.

Writer. “MPD / DID Quick Facts.” HealthyPlace, Healthy Place, 8 Dec. 2008, www

.healthyplace.com/abuse/wermany/mpd-did-quick-facts.

32

33

34