English 427 :: Technical EditingWinter 2007 :: Justin Bright

Client Project Reflective Report ::

Learning By Example and Discovering Improvements

By Justin Bright

Introduction: Marketing Strategies

The project I took on was to edit two advertising documents for Creative Trends, Robert Bright’s eBay selling business. Robert designs his own product advertisements to be placed into the description section of the default eBay product listing. These documents are meant to describe in detail the features and specifications of the product, but are also the only advertising for their product that a seller has control over. A good advertising document will explain why the product is a good one, and why it is a good deal in the state it is in – that is, if it’s used, opened or damaged. The content of Robert’s documents was there, but it was presented in such a way that the format was distracting, and the user would not know where to look to find the important information on the page.

In taking on this task for my father, I had to be conscious of our existing relationship. However, we both went into the consultation sessions understanding that this was not a task to simply be given over to me and forgotten about. Since he understood that I have a significant amount of experience in doing this work from my classes, many issues of my own credibility were avoided.

Another major issue I had to contend with was the fact that I’ve never written an advertisement, for eBay or otherwise. To get a feel for how these actually worked, I had to base my judgment on similar advertisements.

This was a very valuable experience, through which I learned a lot about the editing process, as well as the process of working with a client to develop a better document. These experiences will certainly transfer to other situations. In this report I will talk about several of the major experiences that struck me as the most important.

Section I: Discovering What “Good” Is

The first issue I had to contend with was figuring out what a good eBay advertisement looked like. In looking at the documents given to me by

Robert, I realized that while I had some ideas, I did not know what made up a good advertisement. In order to make any real substantive edits, I would need to do some research on other successful advertisements.

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This process took longer than I initially thought it would. As I began looking over several of the advertisements listed on eBay, I found that many of them were simply unsuitable. Many of these could use some work themselves, and were far from good enough to use as a reference in helping Robert to improve his own documents.

To narrow down my search to successful advertisements, I used a feature of eBay in which you can search for an item, and then show only the listings which were completed and sold successfully. It was in studying these documents that I was able to see some better looking advertisements, and it was on the basis of several of these that I made my edits.

Section II: Working with “Dad”

Once I had a solid basis from which I could work, the next potential issue showed itself. There is obviously no way to completely avoid the issues of dealing with a pre-existing relationship when working on a project like this for your own father, but this was something that needed to be addressed early on to try to make those issues less apparent.

The type of relationship required for this sort of project is a more professional one. That is, I wanted to be taken seriously as an editor, not just as Robert’s son throwing out suggestions. To that end, I prepared all of my comments on a separate sheet of paper prior to meeting with Robert. In preparing myself ahead of time, I could present my suggestions and arguments in a clear and organized fashion, and gain more credibility for myself as an editor in his eyes.

Another factor in deciding to prepare my statements beforehand was our respective availability. Robert and I are out and away from the house generally at different times of the day, and so we usually only see each other at home once or twice during the day, and even then only for an hour or so. Therefore, I did all the work I could on my end beforehand, so that we could work through the document and prepare it for the final editing process in a single meeting.

Before I actually went to meet him, during my editing process, there were questions that I needed answered. Each time, I addressed him as my client, and we proceeded in a professional manner when we talked. More specifically, I had to ask several times about how the eBay advertising worked, and what items needed to be in the document, and what did not need to be in the document. Talking about these things on that level built up my position as an editor, and made the actual sit-down session go a lot more smoothly.

I felt like I needed to separate our relationships simply to benefit me during this editing process. If I

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approached him only as his son, with helpful tips on his documents, he might just take them without question. However, in doing things the way I did, he questioned every edit that I made that didn’t immediately make sense to him. In explaining why I made each change, I got a better understanding of the work I was doing, and he was more satisfied as a client.

Section III: Working through the Tough Points

There was one instance in which he disagreed entirely with one of my suggestions. On the second document I edited, the advertisement for the espresso machine, he had included the manufacturer’s suggested retail price (MSRP) right in the title line of the document. I didn’t understand the purpose of including that number, and thought it looked bad in the advertisement, so I suggested that he remove it entirely.

He did not agree, but he was willing to just go along with what I said. Knowing that a real client would not comply so easily, I asked him why it was that he thought it would be included. He told me that including the MSRP can show the customer that, by purchasing the product from him in this eBay listing, they would be getting a bargain.

With that, I saw the inclusion of the MSRP in a new light, but we both agreed that it did not belong in the title line on the page. I suggested then that he move it down to the features list, where it seemed to fit much more naturally.

Section IV: Why this Works (Or Doesn’t)

The relationship between Robert and me eased many of my concerns about bringing up the problems associated with the original document. However, I still had to be conscious of the fact that this was his writing, and although there were many problems, I had to convey the solutions to these problems not as a critic, but as a coach to help him make better documents in the future and not be discouraged by the points I would raise.

The way that I approached this issue was by taking the user’s perspective. Looking over the two original documents, I evaluated them as a prospective buyer would, and scanned them quickly for pertinent information. I noticed that the issues that I had as an editor did not necessarily coincide exactly with the readers’ issues. Some of the stylistic changes I would have liked to make were not something I would have noticed as a reader, and therefore their priority fell.

With this rebuilt list of things to change, I was able to provide Robert with a comprehensive list of changes to be made to the document. The minor stylistic changes were included as well, but when I presented it to him, they were a secondary concern to the major issues of readability and accessibility.

The things I prioritized most based on those criteria were mostly format issues. For example, the original document was centered all the way down the page, as Robert believed that things in the center were more important. I presented him with the idea of using few strong lines in the document, to guide the readers’ eyes down the page to where he would

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want them to go. Also of concern was the usage of all caps for the top few lines of the document. This was distracting, and the message came across more clearly when the text was in upper- and lower-case.

This reevaluating process was a valuable experience for me. In breaking things down in a hierarchical way, I was able to deliver a strong point for the most important changes, and then speak about the less important ones after. It also gave me good practice in discovering what would be more important to a reader.

Conclusion: Developing the Client’s Skills

This project worked out to be a great learning experience for both myself and for Robert. I learned many things regarding the process of editing a

document for a client, such as how to propose a project, discover the needs of the audience, build better client relationships, and explain and defend my editing choices as necessary.

Robert learned a considerable amount about how to create a better advertisement, which is something that he may not have expected when the project began. When we talked about the document, I made sure to go over every aspect of creating that document, and offered him ideas and tips on how to make the changes happen in his own document.

In the end, Robert came through with the final version of the document, and the improvement over the original is vast. In working with him on this, I believe he has taken away some valuable skills, just as I have.