Ending Financial Problems eBook

8/3/2019 Ending Financial Problems eBook

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ENDING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS by Marie Lachney and Floyd Henderson Copyright 2009, 2008,2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003

All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced in any form or by any means,electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, sending to someone else by e-mail, or by

any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

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PPPPPPPPeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrssssssssoooooooonnnnnnnnaaaaaaaalllllllliiiiiiiittttttttyyyyyyyyTTTTTTTTyyyyyyyyppppppppeeeeeeee

Marie Lachney, LPC, LMFT&

Floyd Henderson, M.A., B.A. Ed.


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ENDING FINANCIAL

PROBLEMSbyUnderstanding Your Personality Type

by

Marie Lachney and Floyd Henderson

Published by

Henderson Books

Copyright 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006by

Floyd Henderson

All rights reserved. No part of this documentmay be reproduced in any form or by any

means, electronic or mechanical,including photocopying, recording, sending

to someone else by e-mail, or by anyinformation storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from theauthor. The author assumes

no responsibility for errors or typosor problems associated with any reader

or programs or devices being used in associationwith this eBook. The author

thanks you in advance for honoring his

copyright and for recommending to otherinterested parties that they

order their own version of the eBook. Pagination will differbetween the book version and the eBook version.

All sales are final.


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MARIE LACHNEYand

FLOYD HENDERSON

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bbyyUUnnddeerrssttaannddiinngg YYoouurr PPeerrssoonnaalliittyy TTyyppee

Copyright 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003

Marie Lachney and Floyd HendersonThe rights of Floyd Henderson and Marie Lachney to beidentified as the authors of this work have been asserted inaccordance with the U.S. Copyright Office of the United States.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may bereproduced, stored in or introduced into any retrieval system, ortransmitted in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical,photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written

consent of the author. Any violation of the above, or any otherillegal act regarding this copyrighted publication, will be liable tocriminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.


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PART ONE: BACKGROUND

Marie Lachney, after her first twelve years ofexperience as a psychotherapist, began to see certainpatterns emerging in the couples counseling aspect of herpractice. The reality that couples with troubled marriageswere discussing money issues most frequently, in-lawtroubles next, and sexual problems third inspired her toformulate treatment plans that addressed in a holisticfashion ALL of the factors that were preventing a healthy,mature relationship from taking form.

She came to see that at times the money problems being discussed were the real issue, driving the twomembers of the couple apart; but she saw that oftentimesthe money issues were a diversionary topic rather than theactual problem. That notwithstanding, her experiencewith varied approaches proved that by addressing themoney issue and by offering a concrete, proven solutionvia budget training classes could actually bring about a

new level of success resolving client conflict. Next, sheobserved that individuals were typically struggling withthe same financial issues.


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Additionally, as work with her clients began to reveala connection between personality type and spendinghabits, she recognized a component of often unwise

spending patterns that linked dramatically with herclients personality types.

In order to serve her clients needs more effectively,she offered on a voluntary basis one additional componentof treatment. She made available to them an offer toconnect them with specialist who deals with individual

and couples experiencing financial problems.

She arranged, if they so desired, for a budgetconsultant to complete a financial analysis of their assetsand liabilities, of their income and expenditures, and oftheir monthly and periodic debt. He would determine theactions that each could take to effect immediate solutions

to budgetary problems. He would also offer a course tofollow that could solve their crisis without having to inputadditional funds into their budget. Thus she began towork with Floyd Henderson in this regard.

Henderson had at the time over seventeen years ofexperience in guiding individuals and couples fromfinancial chaos to financial stability. His approach he hadoutlined in a booklet entitled Living Within YourMeans, explaining that money problems are more easily


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solved not through getting more money but throughspending less money or spending according to theguidance of a personal budget.

In his work, the minor in psychology he earned incollege, and his certification to teach that subject in twostates, began to help in understanding and advising hisclients as he led them to realize that their money problemswere not rooted in their spending habits but in theirthinking patterns that led to self-destructive spending.

As more and more budgets were analyzed and moreand more people revealed the type thinking that drovetheir decisions around spending, certain patterns becameobservable. A strong relationship became obvious, linkingthe ways that clients create their financial crises and theways that client personality types became observable

through focusing on the areas in each budget thatconstituted the primary drains.

For example, people whose spending exceeded therecommended percentiles in certain areas like cars,clothing, jewelry and beauty expenses were regularlyrevealing through discussions that they were Type 3s,often revealing a 2-4 wing as well. Those depleting theirbudgets through spending excessively on charitable workwere being revealed regularly as Type 2s or Type 6s.


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Henderson came to see that clients could not beassisted through a behavioral approach alone that said in

so many words, Dont you see this is not working? Whynot stop it? He came to learn that an entire shift inthinking was required with most in order to bring about ashift in spending. Then, he was contacted by MarieLachney to discuss working together to assist her clientswho needed financial advice.

The more budgets they studied and the more theirclients revealed the driving forces in their financial livesvia their budgets, the more Marie and Floyd began to seethat the major problem areas in budgets correlate withpersonality type. They also observed that the morepersonality types were identified, the more they couldanticipate the areas in the budget that were going to be the

key source of financial problems being experienced.

As a result, Marie and Floyd began in their practicesto study, to observe, to research, to gather data, and to testfor an exact correlation between personality types anddestructive spending habits. The result was concrete proofthat certain destructive spending patterns manifest amongthose with the same personality types and visa-versa.


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Finding the key weaknesses in a budget can lead toconfirmation of the personality type of a client, andconfirming that offers the therapist an effective tool in

treating the core source of the spending problem. Andfinding the personality type of the individual offers aneffective tool in isolating the root of certain behaviors thatmust be addressed and modified if true, long-termeconomic stability is to manifest for the client or clients.

This booklet will guide individuals or couples

to an understanding of personality types in general;

to a way to find ones own personality type;

to realizing how ones personality type can influencespending and promote economic problems;

to finding a way to set up detailed, personalizedbudgets;

to analyze that budget to uncover instances wherepersonality type, and not the individual, is influencingspending and over-spending.

Therapists call on us as well. They will gain all of theabove as well as


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a tool to isolate true cause and effect;

tools for further confirmation of personality type;

an ability to recognize the correlative nature ofspending and personality type in order to formulate aholistic treatment plan for clients with a proven record ofsuccess;

an increase in numbers of clients benefiting from their

services, increasing the numbers of people actually beinghelped as well as the quality of help received in thiscritical area of need. Why? Estimates suggest that 95% ofthe people in the U.S. are currently failing to live strictlywithin their means, the problem crossing economic strataand including those among the wealthiest as well as thoseamong the poorest.)


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PART TWO:THE THINKING PROBLEM

Different personality types influence thinking (andtherefore behaviors and spending habits) in a highlypredictable manner. To observe the correlation, one must

know his type and know all of the places where his moneyis actually going. Thus, the next step is to find yourpersonality type. As you read the following description,please check off in your booklet any traits of the varioustypes you can relate to. Then, see which type seems tocontain a preponderance of your traits in order todetermine your type.


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PART THREE:THE NINE PERSONALITY TYPES

This presentation of the nine personality types is based on the Enneagram. Ennea is Greek for thenumber nine, and gram means a drawing. Its

thought to have originated with the Sufis over 2000 yearsago, came to Europe in the 1920s and the US in the 1960s.This method of diagnosis and analysis explains whypeople behave the way they do and it can be used torecommend specific ways to grow as an individual. Itsknowledge can be helpful in relationships with all thosewe encounter. The enneagram is based on the premise

that in childhood we have to create a strategy, based onour natural gifts and capabilities, to feel safe and copewith our family situations.

People with the same personality type have basicdrives in common and tend to view the world in a similarway. Each type has a particularly strong gift and operates

out of either the head (thinking), the heart (feeling) or thegut (intuition) primarily, has a way they exaggerate theirdriven-ness, have things they avoid, tend to use similar


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defense mechanisms, relate in a particular communicationstyle, focus on either the past, present or future, and usetime in a particular way. What can distinguish the

variations within each type are the amount of personalhealing work someone has done, their maturity, whattypes their parents were, the order of their birth, whatvalues of the culture have been accepted and internalizedand their degree of introversion or extroversion.Interestingly, all of those factors influence the ways thatpeople spend their money.

The study and understanding of the Enneagram canhelp us with a deeper understanding and acceptance ofourselves and others. It can help us look at our patterns of behaviors that are not working for us and can helpdevelop more self-constructive and relationship-constructive behaviors.

Each person has a basic personality type signified bythe numbers One to Nine. Also the personality type isimpacted and influenced by the wings, and each personhas two wingsexhibiting traits of the personality typesadjacent to ones primary personality type. (For example,a Type Two has a One Wing and a Three Wing, exhibitingtraits of both those wings as well as the primary traits ofhis main personality type.


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DESCRIPTIONS OF THE NINE TYPES:1s are idealistic, organized, perfectionistic, one-trackminded, and tend to have good judgment;

2s are helpful, compassionate, nurturing, and welcoming;

3s are motivated, success-oriented, persuaders, optimistic,and image-conscious;

4s have a great emotional depth and are museful, artistic,sensitive, honest, and true to self;

5s seek knowledge and are thinkers, perceptive, logical,want to be experts;

6s are loyal, responsible, dependable, trustworthy, andrespectful of authority;

7s are fun-loving, playful, optimistic, dreamers,lighthearted, storytellers and jokesters;

8s take on challenges, are leaders, and are forceful,courageous, straightforward, and adventurous;9s seek serenity and calm, are peacemakers, non-judgmental, laid back and harmonious.

Types 2s, 3 and 4 are heart-centered and these typesoperate by feelings. They are concerned about being loved


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and appreciated and they focus on relationships. They arelikely to concentrate on pleasing others and 4sparticularly try to figure out whats going on inside

themselves.

Types 5, 6 and 7s are head-centered and operate bythinking and doing. They are concerned with fitting in.They understand others by putting themselves in theirplace. They function best when they understand things.

Types 8, 9 and 1 are gut-centered and operate bybodily instinct. They are concerned about surviving, beingsafe. They understand others by making comparisons andthey remember the past and form expectations of how thefuture should be.

In addition each type has a certain pride about (or a way

they exaggerate) their driven-ness:

Type 1s think that they are right and everyone else iswrong. They think they are close to perfect. They think atone time they might have had some bad qualities but theyhave corrected them. They think they do things right, andthey will let you know when they think that you arentdoing things right. They also believe if you wantsomething done right, you need to do it yourself.


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Type 2s have a belief system that you cant get alongwithout them. Also they give and sacrifice themselves forothers. They can play the role of a martyr or victim. They

insist on pressuring until the people they are involvedwith change, and they will help whether or not help iswanted. They are willing to try to lay on guilt and arecontrolling and invasive.

Type 3s are convinced they are winners. Theybelieve life is for achievement that results in status. They

tend to think that they achieve so much that they mustsurely be liked. They typically try to present an image ofsuccess.

Type 4s believe that there is no one like them. Theyfeel very unique, very different from others. They believethey have suffered more deeply than most and that they

experience depths of meaning and feeling that othersdont experience. They believe in their heart of hearts thatno one understands them. Often they will show amelancholy expression.

Type 5s think that many people are stupid. Theybelieve they know and others dont. They are sure they areable to observe things that others miss, things that matter.They believe that others have no common sense and thatothers are idiots.


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Type 6s believe that they hang in there no matterwhat happens. They believe they are the long-suffering,faithful one. They tend to do what they say they will do-

even when the cost is their health, happiness or theirrelationships. They are loyal even after it not longer makessense to do so in a situation.

Type 7s believe that they are very nice people. Theycant understand how anyone in their right mind could beupset with them because they are so nice and such fun

people. They can easily see something good abouteveryone. They believe they get along with people. Theyare likely to tell others to perk upthings will turn outfine.

Type 8s think they are super strong. They feelinvincible. They think they are always in control and that

no one pushes them around.

Type 9s think they are always cool, never get upset,and that nothing bothers them, though much does. Topreserve the image of being calm, they try to never letothers them being bothered by anything.

Each of the personality types also has something thatthey try to AVOID, something which they wont face

and will run away from or ignore:


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Type 1s avoid feeling angry. They will protest thatthey are not mad. Their restrained anger shows up asaggravation and frustration. They have a belief that

perfect people dont show anger.

Type 2s avoid admitting their own needs. Its veryhard for them to say, I need help. What really matters to2s are the needs of others. They feel hurt if they have toask. They dont want to risk getting turned down. Theyfeel others should have known what they want and need.

Type 3s avoid failure. They cant tolerate failure sothey are likely to work day and night. Threes run fromfailure and they can over-work sometimes at the expenseof their health, marriage, children, and friends. Somethrees must succeed even if it means walking over otherpeople and hurting their lives.

Type 4s avoid being ordinary, even in their feelingsand in their relationships. They believe they have greaterdepth of feeling than most people. They believe they aresensitive and refined people--different, out of theordinary. They long to hear from their spouse orsignificant other, You are special to me. Our relationshipis like no other.


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Type 5s avoid emptiness. They feel a need to knowmuch more than they ever tell others. They also believethat if they shared everything, theyd have nothing. They

would be drained. They have a desire to be filled with theanswers to questions.

Type 6s avoid deviating from what is acceptable to agroup. They want to do what people think they should do.They want to do whats expected of them. They question;What will people think? instead of What do I think?

Type 7s avoid pain. They cant stand any kind ofpain--physical, mental, emotional, relational or spiritual.They have a thousand escape techniques and are veryskilled in distracting themselves from pain.

Type 8s avoid appearing weak. They cant stand

anyone seeing them weak. Its hard for them to let peoplesee their gentle and soft side. They have to meet life head-on.

Type 9s avoid conflict and hassles both inner andouter. They cant stand to be hassled and nagged. Theydont want to be bothered. They want to be left alone andthey want others around them to stop bickering.


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Some favorite defense mechanisms used by each type toprotect self-image include:

Type 1s use idealization where they might think tothemselves Im just doing this because it helps to makethings the way they should be. Or, they might think, Ihave a good intention.

Type 2s use repression. They stuff hurt feelings.They are likely to deny or minimize their own needs. They

might think, It wasnt so bad or they might say, I dontknow how to say No.

Type 3s use reframing. They might think or say, Itdidnt work out, but I learned a lot. Or, There are nofailures-only learning experiences. Threes identify withwhat the boss wants and they give the boss what the boss

wants. Pleasing the boss drives them unless theyeventually become the boss.

Type 4s use dramatization. They will describe asituation with great feeling, gestures, and facialexpressions. They often exaggerate.

Type 5s use withdrawal. They may withdraw intotheir heads, their rooms, the woods, a camp, books,


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computers, tapes, music or the office. They are likely todistance or isolate.

Type 6s use projection. They throw onto otherswhat they dont like to see in themselves. They will thinkor say, They arent doing what theyre supposed to bedoing.

Type 7s use acting out and distraction. They distractthemselves by over-doing any of the following: eating,

drinking, telling jokes, laughing, going visiting, goingshopping, travel, gambling, playing games of all sorts.

Type 8s use denial, especially when threatened.Eights can easily say No, or Hell no! or Get out! orThats not the way it is.

Type 9s use anesthetization. They anesthetize ornumb their feelings. They minimize. They give in for themoment when conflict comes up. They will say I forgotor I didnt hear in order to avoid confrontation.

The Communication Styles of each type are alsounique.

Type 1s explain how it should be. They tend to be judgmental, critical, aggravated. Ones tell you whats


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right and how to do it right. Ones notice and talk aboutwhat they think needs to changed whether its in you or atwork in the family or in the world. They will tell you their

point and repeat it in different ways until you get it.

Type 2s give advice. They will tell you what to say ordo. They give compliments and often will touch others.

Type 3s communicate by selling and persuading.They can sell anything they believe in. They are really

good at selling themselves.

Type 4s express emotion. They notice whats awfulor wonderful. They often present themselves with an airof mystery. They frequently ask Why me, Why? andHow could you? They express themselves symbolically.They work at appearing spontaneous or casual.

Type 5s communicate by explaining. They usuallyexplain very clearly. They pull from their great store ofknowledge to explain or to answer questions. They feelthey must have the answer. Then they withdrawbecause they dont want people to get dependent on them.They have a hard time being emotionally involved. Theylive in their heads, emotionally detached. They tend tospeak seriously, but may surprise you with funny one-liners.


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Type 6s are pleasant in their communication as wellas cautious and indecisive. They express anxiety and feel

pulled between this and that. They are veryhospitable, polite, and warm. They can rebel somewhat.

Type 7s entertain. They are good at telling interestingaccounts or events. They are good joke tellers. They areenthusiastic usually and keep the group up andpositive. They usually create plenty of fun around them.

Type 8s communicate by explaining how it is.Confronting comes easy for them as well as giving orders.Eights like to challenge people. They typically say and dowhat they want. They will question the foundation of anissue.

Type 9s communicate by speaking slowly. They are

easy-going. They tend to be soft-spoken and notdemanding of attention. They are down-to-earth. They aregood listeners and non-judgmental.

The Use of Time by Each Type

Heart people or (2s, 3s and 4s) tend to focus on

the present:


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2s use time for relating to people. Time goes fast fortwos when they are sharing feelings and important issues.They can forget routines and schedules when talking to

friends. Business meetings and impersonal occasions canbe difficult for 2s.

3s use time for getting things done. They work ontheir projects to achieve their goals and to gain status.Threes have so much to do that they are often runninglate, breathlessly. They tend not to keep time for

themselves. Tasks take precedence over relationships,family and fun. Friends and family make appointmentsto get on their schedule book. Their fun time is oftenrelated to business.

4s use time for being inside themselves with theirfeelings and musings, especially about relationships.

Fours often have a nostalgic air, feeling some distancefrom what is, struggling to get to the here and now.Every event, even a small one, is an experience, and 4senjoy taking time to describe it with feeling.

Head people (5s 6s and 7s) tend to focus on thefuture:

Type 5s use time for observing, gatheringinformation, and thinking. Fives like to take what theylearn, mull over it, draw conclusions, or formulate a new


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theory about it. They observe both what is inside andwhat is outside themselves. They hate meetings becausethey hate repetition and often perceive the leaders or

participants as stupid or ridiculous.

Type 6s use time for doing whats expected of them.Sixes do what theyre supposed to do. They like to botharrive and leave on time. They can leave work and feelfree when the work day is over. Sixes enjoy spending timewith their family and friends. They tend to use their free

time responsibly, doing useful things and often helpingothers.

Type 7s use time to do pleasant activities or to planpleasant activities. Sevens tend to plan too many activitiesto squeeze into a day. They are often late. Watches areonly jewelry for them. Once something is planned, they

tend to think its done. They may forget or ignore details.Some 7s often help others. Sevens experience and enjoythings in their head before they happen.

Gut people (8s, 9s and 1s) tend to focus on the past:

Type 8s use time for doing whatever they want to do.When they want to do something, they do it. Eightscontrol even time; they are not controlled by time. Theyoften dont care what their watch says. They enjoyspending time living on the edge, close to danger. The


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thrill of danger energizes them. They also like to spendtime righting wrongs and protecting.

Type 9s use time for hanging out and doing whatthey like to do. Nines could accomplish a great deal;however, getting started is their problem. They go at aconstant pace, but they have one speed---slow. They canexhibit energy in sports and entertaining activities.

Type 1s use of time is for doing things right. Time is

something they never have enough of. They are alwaysracing against time. They try to squeeze as much work aspossible into each hour. Ones make to do lists and theylove to check off each item. They are much focused,usually liking to do one thing at a time.

NOTE: It is not within the scope of this work to offer

the details of how to set up a budget; how to use acomputer spreadsheet to facilitate cash flow management;etc. Those details, the nuts and bolts of getting started,using the budget, modifying the budget, manipulating the budget to accommodate cash input changes, etc. areavailable along with a disk at www.floydhenderson.com.

Ultimately, focus must be on what WE can control, onwhat we really NEED, and on what we are spending to tryto get the things that we WANT that cannot ever be


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bought with money. Combining the use of a budget with anew mindset produces financial stability, so that we spendmoney only on needs that can truly be met by spending

money; then, we stop spending on things that can neverbe gained with money.


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PART FOUR:SEEING THE CORRELATION BETWEENPERSONALITY TYPE AND SPENDING

HABITS THAT CREATE FINANCIALPROBLEMS

The following examples are taken from actual caseswhere Lachney and Henderson worked with individualsand couples, identified their personality types, analyzedtheir budgets and spending habits and found that specificpatterns of spending were recurring among those with thesame personality type.

Typically, only one to three areas in a budget will beidentified as the primary area of concern that is causingthe financial problems of people.

Also, it should be mentioned that any expendituresthat anyone can afford are logical and indisputable, butany expenditures that are made in spite of the fact that a

person or a couple cannot afford them are the areas ofconcern when we try to address the changes in spendinghabits that must occur for people to live within theirmeans.


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In the personal examples that follow each discussion,the names have been changed to protect the anonymity ofthe people in the examples; furthermore, the purchases

they made that we identify as problem areas in theirspending habits are expenditures that have left them infinancial crisis and inspired them to seek help. The peoplementioned in these examples are spending beyond theirmeans, yet the same purchases that they cannot afford are being bought daily by others who can afford the verysame things without any economic strain; therefore, the

examples are not intended to suggest that certain specificobjects should never be purchased or that giving money orgifts should not be given. The examples are of peoplewhose economic practices have put them, and often theirrelationships, in crisis.

TYPE ONE PERFECTIONISTS:

The Type Ones whom we have worked with exhibittendencies to be obsessive-compulsive. That trait leads tospending impulsively rather than allowing a budget torestrict spending to budgeted items. Perfectionists notonly demand that others be perfect but hold themselves tothat standard, so they often spend excessively on self-improvement in many areas. Perfectionists have a difficulttime compromising, so often they spend money on whatthey take to be name-brand goods when non-name brand


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could serve as well. They can also become involved inmovements to save one thing or the other (environment,souls, whatever) and they over-spend in supporting

organizations claiming to address those issues. WhenType Ones become stressed, they often spend money onbody improvement diets, on alcohol, and on excessive useof vitamins. If Type Ones become stressed or becomeimmersed in holy or spiritual roles, they assume thenegative side of a Type Four. See information of TypeFours and their spending problems to learn more of what

can happen with Ones if stressed or absorbed in piety.

Andy and Barbara

Barbara was a school teacher, divorced and re-established. She owned her own condo, was in a secureposition in a school district, was ten years from retirement,

and had a decent retirement fund building in a stateretirement fund. Barbara announced at work, Im readyto get married, though she was not even dating at thetime. In her mind, the only way to live is in what she seesas the perfect way to live--having the perfect home andthe perfect mate and the perfect family. She is a type one,and since all reality comes about in the progression fromthought to word to deed, she had the thought that she wasready to get married and then expressed it. Marriage had


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to soon manifest because of her obsessive mind andcompulsive behavior.

Her path crossed that of Andya friend from backhome and a former boyfriend from her teen days. Withina matter of months, she quit her job and moved severalstates away to marry him. Andy is a Type Nine and wasunemployed, so he welcomed her. She found noemployment during the first year and they used the fundsshe withdrew from her pension to survive. When they

came to us, they were destitute, Barbaras retirement is alost dream, and Barbara was under psychiatric care andheavily-medicated.

TYPE TWO HELPERS:

Maslows Hierarchy of Human Needs shows that we

can purchase the necessities required for physical needsas well as mental needs. What cannot be bought are thetop three elements in the pyramid he describes: love,esteem, and fulfillment.

Regardless, Type Twos who have financial problemsare often willing to spend their money in those last threeareas, trying to buy love from children or lovers. They willgive sums of money beyond their means to overly-demonstrate their generosity. They can give more than


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they can afford to charities and can over-spend atChristmas. They can become the biggest contributors inany group, but really prefer that others know of their

generosity. They will use money to manipulate others to behave as they want or to inspire others to like them oradmire them. They will spend excess amounts of moneyon socializing and entertaining and rescuing. Also, of allnine types, Twos more often spend money out of a senseofentitlement. They often believe that they deserve more ofeverything, the best of everything and the most expensive

of everything. If they are starting a new home, they cannotsettle for lower-priced or mid-priced furniture. Theydeserve the most expensive furniture now, not with somefuture house as their income grows and they can actuallyafford more expensive goods. When Type Twos becomestressed, they often spend money on medications orexcessive amounts of food, especially candies or desserts

or other rich foods. If Type Twos become stressed orbecome immersed in holy or spiritual roles, they assumethe negative side of a Type Eight. See information of TypeEights and their spending problems to learn more of whatcan happen with Twos if stressed or absorbed in piety.

Charles and Dana

Charles is a Type Two who was making $60,000 peryear when I met him. He was giving $8000 per year to the


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church that he was active inthe singles Sunday schoolclass having become a focal point in his life. In that class,and later in other classes in other churches, he pursued

relationships with many young women. Charles felt thatthe single-most effective way to attract women was withmoney, so he added huge sums to his credit cards as hewined and dined women and lavished them with gifts. Ifthe relationships progressed, expensive vacations with thewomen he dated followed. When he came to me, he hadover $18,000 in credit card debt. He was renting a three-

bedroom, upscale condo, and driving a $50,000automobile. Dana was a Type Four who felt the ideal lifebegin shown to her by Charlesa life filled with romanticgetaways and wining and diningwas the perfectromantic ending to a life of searching for such. When theymarried, she believed Charles had to be making $250,000per year minimum. She found a different reality six

months later.

Using their combined income, Charles soon had them in ahome that was taking over 45% of their combined takehome pay. The name-brand furniture that they boughthad a note far beyond their means. By the time they cameto me, Dana saw nothing romantic about their relationship but Charles was in total denial. He was convinced thattwo can live cheaper than one and that all of their debtwould work itself out.


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Dana was complaining about his spending habits in eventhe least of circumstances to be the best and to have the

best image. She pointed out that even at Halloween, hespent hundreds to give away gourmet candy packs to theneighborhood children. Christmas giving was far beyondwhat they could afford, and excessive contributions to thechurch were continuing.

TYPE THREE ACHIEVERS:

Type Threes who have financial problems have oftenspent excessive amounts of money on image items. Theywill spend excessively on clothes in an effort to makethemselves appear better, better than they might and better than others. They are susceptible to vanityspending, even more than Type Ones, and narcissism

often drives them to spend excessively on themselves,their hobbies, their cars, and their attire. If they think thatspending will bring them praise, they will spend. Theywill spend money to identify with groups or importantpeople. Being hard-working and goal-oriented, they canfall into the I work hard so I play hard trapthat trapoften inspiring them to spend excessively to rewardthemselves. When Type Threes become stressed, theyoften waste large sums of money on alcohol, food,tobacco, or drugs or stimulates. They spend money on


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image-enhancing items. They often spend money toundergo elective surgery for image enhancement as well.If Type Threes become stressed or become immersed in

holy or spiritual roles, they assume the negative side of aType Nines. See information of Type Nines and theirspending problems to learn more of what can happen withThrees if stressed or absorbed in piety.

Ed and Fran

Ed and Fran are both Type Threes. (This could be one ofthe more dangerous combinations, economically.) Whentheir state of financial ruin drove them to me, they wereearning $130,000 per year together but their credit carddebt was $38,000.00 and they were experiencing amonthly shortfall of several thousand dollars after paying

only the minimum amounts toward their various debts.Both had car notes that were well over $500 per month. Edhad recently bought two new suits for $1000 each andFran wore only designer clothes. He had also bought a$4000 outdoor grill/range combination and had spentthousands for a golf club membership to help sellinsurance to clients on the course. Fran pointed out that hesold one policy in three years through the country club.


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As for Fran, she had undergone breast enhancementsurgery, that procedure having been enthusiasticallyendorsed by Ed. His designer sunglasses cost him $350.00.

TYPE FOUR ROMANTICS:

Type Fours with financial problems can be seen tohave overspent on romantic adventures: expensive tripswith a loved one or showering a loved one with gifts.Being introspective, they often spend huge sums of money

on their quests to find the meaning of life, salvation, etc.Out of their fear of abandonment, they can spendexcessively in order to try to tie people to them, creatingsituations where people become financially dependentupon them when really wanting others to fill the innersense of emptiness. Because they are anti-authority orrebellious, they often create financial problems for

themselves by quitting jobs or acting in self-destructiveways that sabotage their work or promotionopportunities. They will overspend in the arts, buyingexpensive season tickets for the theater or spending inother similar fashions. When Type Fours become stressed,they often waste large sums of money on socializing, richfoods, and substances that work to relieve anxiety. LikeThrees, they often spend excessive amounts of money onimage-enhancing procedures. If Type Fours becomestressed or become immersed in holy or spiritual roles,


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they assume the negative side of a Type Twos. Seeinformation of Type Twos and their spending problems tolearn more of what can happen with Fours if stressed or

absorbed in piety.

Gary and Helen

Gary is a Type Four. As much as Dana (from an earlierexample) liked being treated to romantic getaways, to thatsame degree did Gary push for such trips as well. The

result was overspending and accumulating $35,000.00 incredit card debts with his adventurers with Helen in spiteof the fact that they had a combined six figure income.Helen is a Type Seven, so she was all for the adventurersand never encouraged restraint on Garys part. When Imet them, she had finally reached a state of panic andresentment over the spending that left them in such debt

that they could not even pay the minimum amounts onmonthly debt and were fielding a barrage of telephonecalls from collectors.

As Gary became more stressed, he began spending afortune on personal growth endeavors and spiritualretreats. If a major retreat with big name speakers wasregularly scheduled on either coast or throughout themiddle states, Gary probably attended it during a three-year period. Helen was resenting his spending that money


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and going off on those adventurers to find himselfwithout her.

TYPE FIVE OBSERVERS:

Type Fives create problems for themselves bypreferring theory to practice. They will spend moneyon gaining knowledge and becoming an expert rather thanleaving the observing and reading stages and entering theworkforce at a more productive level. They will spend

money to earn an important title before they will spendmoney to socialize or to gain excess material possessions.Their desire for privacy and being alone can createfinancial problems for them. Being intolerant anddemanding often causes them problems in the workplacethat translates into problems in the bank account. Theytake on new projects impulsively, being bored easily but

also being easily distracted or scattered. When Type Fivesbecome stressed, they often waste large sums of money onsubstances that allow for a temporary escape from whattroubles them. If Type Fives become stressed or becomeimmersed in holy or spiritual roles, they assume thenegative side of a Type Seven. See information of TypeSevens and their spending problems to learn more of whatcan happen with Fives if stressed or absorbed in piety.


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Ira and June

Ira and June met in college. He seemed to have great

potential since studies came to him so naturally. As hemoved toward his junior year, Iras philosophical bent began to dominate him. He moved from his businessmajor and began to study philosophy. When Junegraduated on schedule and began teaching, Ira decided tocontinue in school to earn a masters degree. Junesincome barely allowed them to survive. As he neared

completion of his studies and June looked forward toending the drain on her income for his schooling, shebegan to speak of starting a family once he began to bringa second income into their budget. Instead, Ira announcedthat he would be continuing his studies, having learnedthat little demand existed for a person with a mastersdegree in philosophy. He said hed have to earn a

doctorate so he could get a decent job in a universityteaching philosophy. While June turned more to friends atwork to substitute for an absentee husband, theireconomic fortunes worsened. When I met them, June waspressing Ira to either get a job and get her pregnant or getout.


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TYPE SIX QUESTIONERS:

Type Sixes create financial problems by

procrastinating. Much of their spending is fear-based,trying to protect themselves or those they care about. Sixescan become apathetic and thus harm themselvesfinancially. Indecisiveness can create financial problems ormissed opportunities. When Type Sixes become stressed,they often waste large sums of money by fluctuating. Theywill spend money on alcohol to slow themselves down

and to help them relax but they will later use stimulates tospeed themselves up. If Type Sixes become stressed orbecome immersed in holy or spiritual roles, they assumethe negative side of a Type Three. See information of TypeThrees and their spending problems to learn more of whatcan happen with Type Sixes if stressed or absorbed inpiety.

Ken and Linda

Linda is a Type Six and Ken is a Type Two, both in their50s. When they came to me and I entered their budgetinformation into the spreadsheet that we use in ourbudget counseling sessions, it showed that they were short$6000.00 per year after making minimum payments ondebts. In the initial interview, I found that they were also


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withdrawing several thousand per year from hisretirement fund.

Looking at their budget, I saw an entry for $500 per monthfor their church and $300 per month for a meeting placefor the church. Listening to Linda, I heard her reveal thather minister is the most influential authority figure in herlife and she was paying his salary, the cost of a weeklymeeting place, and meals for him and his family. Addingtogether her total contributions to the minister and gave

us a sum that almost exactly matched the total of theirretirement fund withdrawals combined with theirmonthly contributions.

Ken refused to challenge any of Lindas spending, doingwhatever was required to keep them together.

TYPE SEVEN ADVENTURERS:

Type Sevens with financial problems have usuallyoverspent on traveling and impulsive spending, oftenhaving less financial discipline than some other types.Their restlessness drives them to activities that requirespendingbe it shopping, comfort eating, or engaging inexpensive and exciting hobbies. Their grand visions caninspire spending to try to bring those visions into reality.Because the mundane is hated, they often do not finish


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tasks and thus often do not commit to their careers. Theyspend on playing, often borrowing money to engage intheir exciting adventures rather than working and saving

up and paying as they go. If parents, they will spend hugesums on their children to give them a wide variety ofexperiences/adventures to make their children better.They lose money on driving fast or engaging in hobbiesthat are more costly rather than enjoying a walk in thewoods that costs nothing. They will overspend onconcerts, movies, plays, or projects. When Type Sevens

become stressed, they often waste large sums of money onaddictive substances. They more frequently are prone toexcessive use of substances that tend to stimulate. If TypeSevens become stressed or become immersed in holy orspiritual roles, they assume the negative side of a TypeOne. See information of Type Ones and their spendingproblems to learn more of what can happen with Sevens if

stressed or absorbed in piety.

Marty and Nancy

Marty is a Type Seven and Nancy is a Type One.When they came to us, they were engaged in a powerstruggle over spending that (according to them) waspropelling them toward divorce. While their income wasconsiderable, above $500,000 per year combined, their


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indebtedness was greater. They still could not get by onthat amount, so they claimed.

Nancy was fighting to spend their money on thehouse. Being a One, she had a vision of exactly the way itshould look, and it did not look that way. She wanted newdrapes, wanted to add on a wing to the house for guests,and wanted to upgrade appliance. Marty, being a seven,envisioned his adventurers tasking place outside the homeand had purchased a four-wheeler, a truck for deer

hunting, and a boat. His current desire was to spend on alarger four-wheel drive vehicle rather than upgrade thehome.

TYPE EIGHT ASSERTERS:

Type Eights create problems for themselves in the

workplace by overwhelming others and trying to control,often resulting in dismissal or in missingpromotionsthus causing financial problems forthemselves. They can be quitters not out of laziness butout of their I dont have to put up with this attitudes. Ifin a partnership, they cause problems by trying to controlthe money and excluding input from their partners. WhenType Eights become stressed, they often waste large sumsof money on seeking power and control. Later, they sufferfrom huge medical expenses as a result of neglecting self-


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maintenance. If Type Eights become stressed or becomeimmersed in holy or spiritual roles, they assume thenegative side of a Type Five. See information of Type

Fives and their spending problems to learn more of whatcan happen with Eights if stressed or absorbed in piety.

Oliver and PaulaOliver is a Type Eight. His behavior in the workplace

had caused him to be edged out of several firms.Unemployed when they came to us for assistance, Oliver

had decided that he wanted to hold public office and wasspending huge sums of money on billboards, placards,and TV and radio ads.

Paula is a Two and wanted more money for theparties and family get-togethers that she constantlyplanned. For a time, she was content to host the lavish

dinners that Oliver was arranging to get groups of voterstogether in their homes or to get groups of potentialsupporters together for dinners in local restaurants. Paulawas tiring of that role and was longing to spend theirmoney on entertaining friends and family.

Oliver was borrowing huge sums of money for hiscampaign in an effort to get a position that would offersome influence but only a very modest income.


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TYPE NINE PEACEMAKERS:

Nines will use money as carrots, dangling them in

front of people to try to encourage others to like them.They are often slothful and will dodge work wheneverpossible. They create financial problems for themselves asa result of refusing to tackle problems and from having apreference for inertia. They will spend money on hiringothers to do for them what they could really do forthemselves. The work they are most willing to do is work

that they think will earn them respect and admirationinstead of working to earn money. If they come into sumsof money, they will spend their money to make othersdependent upon them. Nines will distract themselves withfood or drugs and television or sleeping, none of whichhelp their financial situations. When Type Nines becomestressed, they often waste large sums of money on food,

dining out, over-eating. Later, they spend money onmedical care for all the complications that come fromexcessive weight, high cholesterol, etc. They also spendtheir money on addictive substances but prefer those thattend to slow them down rather than substances that speedthem up. If Type Nines become stressed or becomeimmersed in holy or spiritual roles, they assume thenegative side of a Type Six. See information on Type Sixesand their spending problems to learn more of what canhappen with Nines if stressed or absorbed in piety.


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Randy and SaraRandy is a Nine and Sara is a Two. The stage was set

from day one for conflict though they seemed in the

beginning to be a perfect match. Randy is lethargic andpassive. Sara is a control freak. With her wanting tocontrol and his being so passive that he allowed that, itseemed a match made in heaven. But the very thing thatattracted her to Randy made Sara eventually find himunacceptable. She wanted a huge homefar beyond thesize of one that they could affordfor entertaining. Randy

does not have the drive to earn the money that canaccommodate such spending, so they totaled up hugedebts because Sara borrowed to get what she wanted.

Sara resented the fact that Randy spent so muchmoney on remote control cars, and a huge television andhome entertainment center, and computer games. He also

spent huge sums of money going to spiritual retreats andpersonal growth seminars and had traveled to India andmet a teacher and was funneling money to that man aswell.


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PART FIVE:SOLUTION OPPORTUNITIES

Find the roots of spending problems that result inthis culture specifically and set up a budget in thefashion provided by the authors. One can follow theentire program or only a part of it. The entire program

looks like this:

1. Order a copy of the booklet Living Within YourMeans. Complete the budget exercises in the middle ofthe booklet. The booklet can be used on a self-help basisand will not only guide you through setting up a budgetbut will also through identify and get rid of the elements

that drive needless spending and result in financialproblems.

2. For even more assistance and better results,contact the offices of Marie Lachney at New PathwaysCounseling, 318-473-1954 or e-mail her [email protected]. She can schedule three

sessions that will guide you through the entire processand create a new mindset around money and spending.Telephone consultations are available.


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3. Have Marie Lachney provide you with aPersonality Type Inventory to identify your exactpersonality type.

4. Use this booklet to better understand the factorsthat drive the spending habits of your type. For evenmore assistance, schedule a session or sessions with herfor in-depth assistance in removing the personality typeinfluences that create financial problems.

5. Do you have a group of friends who could benefitfrom scheduling a workshop with the authors andreducing the costs of individual sessions? Contact NewPathways Counseling.

To receive maximum benefit, we suggest you order a copy

of

Living Within Your Meanswhich can lead to a new mindset around spending andwill provide a step-by-step guide to setting up a budget

and using it effectively.

To order, visit www.FloydHenderson.com

Documents

Ending Financial Problems eBook