Enc 2135 Personal Essay

8/18/2019 Enc 2135 Personal Essay

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Bentley 1

Lachante Bentley

Karen Tucker

ENC 2135

26 April 2016

For My Muin

!"on#t think a$out it too %uch& too %uch& too %uch& too %uch' (ere the lyric) $la)tin*

throu*h %y earphone) a) + li)tene, to the al$u% !Nothin* -a) The .a%e' (hile )ittin* up on

%y $e, in ront o %y laptop/ i*ht (hen + (a) a$out to re(rite a ue)tion a$out the Beo(ul

pa))a*e out o %y $orin* Briti)h Literature tet $ook or %y )enior En*li)h cla))& the phone

ran*/ +t (a) %y %o% callin*/

!ello/'

!ey Chante/ Tell *ran,%a you lo4e her/' My %o% )ai, ner4ou)ly

.li*htly conu)e,& + $lurte, out !-hat'

!Tell ran,%a you lo4e her/'

A) %y %o% put the phone clo)er to %y *ran,%a all + coul, here i) her $reathin* hea4ily

throu*h a ace %a)k/ + )tarte, to choke up (hile tryin* to let out the our )i%ple (or,) o !+ lo4e

you *ran,%a/'

!Mo%%y& (hy ,oe) )he )oun, like that -hat#) *oin* on -here are you' +

)ai, (ith panic in %y 4oice/

!Nothin*& +#% at the ho)pital/ ran,%a )tarte, eelin* $a, a*ain an, her $loo,

pre))ure ,roppe,/ .he ha, to co%e to the ho)pital/'


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Bentley 2

No( a) + coul, hear %y *ran,%a )till $reathin* throu*h the %a)k& %y (hole (orl, ca%e

tu%$lin* ,o(n all at once (ith tear) runnin* ,o(n %y ace a)ter than (ater runnin* in a ra*in*

ri4er/

!Mo%%y& co%e pick %e up an, take %e to the ho)pital ri*ht no(7' + ,e%an,e,

!+ cannot lea4e ri*ht no( Chante/'

!Mo%%y7 .o%e$o,y nee,) to co%e pick %e up no(/ + (ant to )ee %y *ran,%a/'

+ al%o)t )crea%e, at her throu*h the phone/

!8kay& E4erett i) *oin* to co%e no(/'

-hile %y uncle %a,e hi) (ay to co%e *et %e& + coul, $arely keep %y ocu) (ell enou*h

to put on )o%e ,ecent clothe)/ -ith %y knee) in %y che)t an, hea, in %y ar%)& all + coul, ,o

(a) cry uncontrolla$ly a) + )at on the loor in the hall(ay (ith %y $ack a*ain)t the (all/ The

thou*ht o lo)in* %y %uin (a) un$eara$le/ .he %eant e4erythin* an, %ore to %e/ .he (a) the

)pine to %y $ack& the $eat to %y heart an, the )oul to %y lie/ o( coul, %y lie $e the )a%e

(ithout her

onk7 onk7 My thou*ht) (ere interrupte, $y the car horn)/ My uncle (a) out)i,e/ +

ru)he, out o the ,oor an, into the car/ A) the rain )prinkle, in the %i)t o the air like little ,u)t

particle)& all + coul, think a$out a*ain (a) %y heart$reakin* at the thou*ht o actually lo)in* %y

*ran,%a/ +n the car& %any %e%orie) la)he, throu*h %y $lurry an, (atery eye) a) + )tare, at the

(in,o( )hiel, (iper) )(ipe up an, ,o(n/ -e arri4e, to the ho)pital aroun, 9:30 p/%/ -ith

e4ery )tep + took %y ner4e) *re( %ore an, %ore an, a) )oon a) + locke, eye) (ith %y %uin& +

kne( that o, (a) callin* her ho%e %inute $y %inute/ My i%%e,iate a%ily an, + )pent the re)t

o the hour) that %y *ran,%a ha, let $ecau)e ater the nur)e) took the la)t little ounce) o


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Bentley 3

ener*y )he ha, let $y ,ra(in* $loo,& BAM7 +t happene,& %y *ran,%a (ent to the hea4en) at

10:3; p/%/ on .epte%$er 2;th 201u)t %ake )o%ethin* out o %y)el perio,/ .o i

that i) all )he (ante, o %e& then that i) eactly (hat + (oul, ,o= or %e o cour)e& $ut e)pecially

or her/ ?u)t to %ake her prou, an, )%ile up there $eyon, the )kie)/

+ can )till recall the ,ay + kne( + ell in lo4e (ith the thou*ht) o !colle*e lie/' +t looke,

like a )cene out o the arry @otter %o4ie& $ut (ith a $etter 4ie(/ +t (a) $eautiul& )unny& an,

(ar% out)i,e in the Tallaha))ee at%o)phere/ A) + ro,e ,o(n the )treet) in the $ack o the car&

li)tenin* to the ra,io& it (a) lo4e at ir)t )i*ht a) )oon a) + lai, %y eye) on a part o the Flori,a

.tate ni4er)ity#) ca%pu)/ + kne( ro% that 4ery %o%ent that Flori,a .tate (a) the )chool or

%e/ + (a) )till in %i,,le )chool& )ith *ra,e to $e eact& )(ayin* %y little )i,e pony tail an,

rockin* %y all $lack hi*htop con4er)e (ith %y )ie 0 >ean) an, )ie 30 A %ini $ra& (hen + (a)

a$le to i%a*ine %e in the uture& (earin* arnet an, ol, prou,ly/

-hen + %a,e %y (ay $ack to Mia%i ater %y Aunt#) *ra,uation ro% FAM#) nur)in*

)chool& %y %in, coul, not re)i)t the te%ptation) o thinkin* a$out %y uture a) a .e%inole/

Kno(in* (hat colle*e + (ante, to atten, ro% a 4ery youn* a*e (a) 4ery $eneicial/ +t *a4e %e

the etra a%$ition to )uccee, in )chool an, ne4er )ettle or anythin* le)) than %y o(n aca,e%ic

)tan,ar,)/ Becau)e + al(ay) $een a )trai*ht !A' an, !B' )tu,ent& + ne4er )ettle, or C#) an, no(

that + kne( that Flori,a .tate ni4er)ity i) (here + (ante, to $e& that %in,)et (a) per%anent


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Bentley 4

an, un$reaka$le throu*hout %i,,le )chool an, hi*h )chool/ Bein* thro(n into *ite, ,urin* the

la)t t(o (eek) o %y )ith *ra,e )chool year ,einitely *a4e %e a run or %y %oney once +

*ra,uate, ro% "o(nto(n Mia%i Charter .chool DK6 center an, (ent to a real %i,,le )chool

Mia%i .prin*) Mi,,le .chool (here + actually )(itche, cla))e)& ha, $lock )che,ule an,

ha4in* the option o *oin* to lunch one or lunch t(o/

Bein* *ite, in %i,,le )chool %eant $ein* in honor)& an, + %ean a,4ance, honor) at that/

+ (a) in )e4enth *ra,e takin* Al*e$ra 1 (ith Earth .pace .cience an, $y ei*ht *ra,e + (a)

takin* eo%etry (ith Biolo*y/ -hen + $eca%e a re)h%an& thi) pattern ollo(e, all throu*hout

hi*h )chool/ +t (a) challen*in* to )(itch ro% re*ular honor) to takin* all o the)e a,4ance,

place%ent cla))e) )o uickly/ +t (a) like $ein* a re)h piece o %eat $ein* thro(n out into the

(il, >un*le/ Thou*h it (a) 4ery ,e%an,in*& throu*h it all& no %atter the lon* ni*ht) + )pent

,oin* ho%e(ork or three cla))e) in one ni*ht in)tea, o )leepin*& one thin* that (a) there or

%e (a) )o%e earphone) an, %y %p3 player/ My %p3 player e4entually *re( up an, %ature,

into a an i@o, Nano that al(ay) $la)te, )o%e )oothin*Gpeaceul %u)ic %ie, in (ith )o%e hip

hop here an, there an, )prinkle, (ith )o%e HB/

+ in, %y)el li)tenin* to %u)ic (hile ,oin* e4erythin*& )o you coul, i%a*ine that

@an,ora i) a *reat rien, o %ine/ .chool i) ,iicult or e4eryone $ut (hen + li)ten to the

)on*)G%u)ic o other) (ho ha) ha, their o(n up) an, ,o(n) in lie an, relate their pain to %y

o(n per)onal i))ue) that + *o throu*h& it *i4e) %e %oti4ation that i they are )till %akin* it then +

(ill too/ +t coul, $e BeyoncI )in*in* a$out $ein* ,an*erou)ly in lo4e& "rake rappin* a$out

$ein* ro% the )i an, ho( he ha) $een ucke, o4er $y *irl) or Elle Jarner )in*in* a$out not

ha4in* al(ay) $een the perect eye can,y that *uy) (oul, typically *o ater/ +t coul, $e the

)oothin* %u)ic o ?anine an, the Mitape& ?hene Aiko& or Alina Bara that %ake) %e eel )tre))


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Bentley 5

ree a) i + a% loatin* on clou,) $y clearin* %y thou*ht)& (hich help) %e to ocu) $etter on

,oin* the ta)k at han,/ Mu)ic $a)ically *et) %e throu*h e4erythin*& )uch a) e4en typin* thi)

e))ay (hile li)tenin* to the ?hene Aiko )tation on @an,ora/ Li)tenin* to %u)ic *i4e) %e a peace

o %in, ,urin* ,iicult )ituation) )uch a) )tre)) a$out *ra,e) an, a))i*n%ent)& (hen %y

hou)ehol, i) inancially un)ta$le& (hen %y *ran,%a ,ie, or (hen + eel like the (orl, i) )ittin*

on %y )houl,er)/ Mu)ic i) (hat $rou*ht %e throu*h A@ @)ycholo*y& A@ Che%i)try& A@ Biolo*y&

A@ En*li)h& A@ u%an eo*raphy& Calculu) honor)& Al*e$ra 2 honor) an, Che%i)try honor) a)

a re)h%an alon* (ith econo%ic trou$le)/ a4in* to li4e ro% paycheck to paycheck an, not

kno(in* (hen the li*ht) %ay $e o co%in* ro% )chool (ere thin*) that kept %e on e,*e/

There (ere ti%e) that + ca%e ho%e an, trie, to turn on %y li*ht $ut there (a) only the )oun, o

the )(itch lickin*/ a4in* to u)e the ni*ht#) $reee a) air con,itional an, can,le) a) %y )ource

o li*ht (ere thin*) that + ha, to ,eal (ith at a youn* a*e/ Al)o ,ealin* (ith per)onal i))ue) a) a

teen in hi*h )chool ,ealin* (ith $oy) an, the internal i))ue) o %aturin* (ere all a lot to >u**le

at a youn* a*e/ A,,itionally& + ha, to *et throu*h %y trou$lin* cla))e) in or,er to keep A#) an,

B#) on %y tran)cript an, a hi*h @A )o + coul, ulill %y ,rea%) o $eco%in* a Nole at The

Flori,a .tate ni4er)ity an, e4entually The Flori,a .tate ni4er)ity#) La( .chool/ + coul,

recall a ,ay (here + (a) talkin* to %y *ran,%a an, that i) (hen + kne( + (a) *oin* to )uccee,

or %ore than >u)t %y)el in lie/

!Chante& you *oin* to colle*e' %y *ran,%a a)ke, (hile + (a) )ittin* on the $e, net to

her/

!8 cour)e ran,%a& +#% *oin* to *o to F. an, then + a% *oin* to la( )chool' + )ai,

prou,ly/


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Bentley 6

!oo, oo,& ,o )o%ethin* (ith your)el ater hi*h )chool& it) too %any youn* people

out here *ettin* kille, or no rea)on/ Make )o%ethin* o your)el in your uture/'

!+ (ill ran,%a/' + )ai,/

That (a) once a con4er)ation + ha, (ith %y ran,%a a$out %y uture $eore )he pa))e, a(ay/

All )he (ante, i) or %e (a) to $eco%e )o%eone an, not $e a pro,uct o %y nei*h$orhoo, nor

$eco%e another )tati)tic/ .he tol, %e the)e thin*) $ecau)e a) a ;; year ol, (o%an& )he#) li4e, to

(itne))e) %any thin*) )uch a) ki,) *ro( up an, only *ro( up to $e a pro,uct o their

nei*h$orhoo,/ .he ,i, not (ant %e to en, up $ein* one o tho)e youn* la,ie) that ha, potential

to $e )o%e$o,y *reat $ut (a)te, it $y )tayin* ho%e in Mia%i ,oin* nothin* (ith %y lie/ .he

,i, not (ant %e to >u)t $e )o%eone#) $a$y %other an, (orkin* a nine to i4e to pro4i,e or

%y)el an, %y chil,/ .he (ante, %e to ,o %ore (ith %y)el/ a4in* that one *oal in lie o

$eco%in* a ,een)e attorney an, li4in* the reality o that *oal (a) )o%ethin* + ne4er *a4e up on

or %e $ut %ore i%portantly& or %y %uin/ A) + continue to *ro( an, li4e %y colle*e

eperience& + ne4er or*et (hy + ca%e to colle*e an, (ho#) (atchin* o4er %e= (aitin* or %e to

*ra,uate colle*e an, $eco%e that ,een)e attorney/ + lo4e you *ran,%a/

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Enc 2135 Personal Essay