Empathy and Being an Ally Giving and Getting Support Being an Ally One way we can have empathy and respond thoughtfully to the feelings and perspectives of others is by being an ally. Being an Ally An ally is a person who makes a conscious decision to support someone because its the right thing to do. Being an Ally To whom could you be an ally? A friend A family member A classmate (you know or dont know very well) Someone you dont know at all. What are the skills needed in order to be an effective ally? - Empathy Skills Recognizing that something is wrong, caring about whats happening. - Listening Skills Being able to listen actively to someone elses problem. - Assertiveness Skills Having the confidence to do something to help. - Problem-Solving Skills Brainstorming a lot of options. Sometimes you can tell when people need support or help. Other times, the actual situation lets you know that someone needs an ally. It can also be hard to tell. Some people dont show outwardly (its not obvious) that theyre upset, or they dont feel comfortable asking for help. Sometimes just knowing about a difficult situation can alert you to the fact that someone might need support or help. People will occasionally need an ally when something big like a divorce or illness in the family is happening. But often, someone needs an ally in a smaller, everyday kind of incident. For example: Supporting someone who is being teased, supporting someone who has just been embarrassed or insulted, supporting someones point of view, etc. In many situations, being an ally is the best way to support a friend or classmate. Sometimes, the best support comes from an adult. As an ally, you can help others recognize when an adults help is needed. When is a good time to get an adults help? It is best to involve an adult when someones health and/or safety are at risk. For example: - Suicide - Violence - Bullying - Failing a class - Abuse - Drug and alcohol problems - You think someone might hurt or harm themself There are three communication styles: 1.Assertive Being assertive means standing up for what you want without being mean or rude. Explain yourself clearly, use a firm voice. 2.Aggressive Being aggressive means you get in someones face. You are disrespectful or forceful. You might shout or try something else to overpower others. 3.Passive Being passive means you dont really do anything. You are quiet and shy. No one understand what you really want. When you are asking a friend, an acquaintance, or an adult for support, being assertive will help you explain what you want or need in an effective way. They will understand you better. They will be willing to help because you are not being mean or rude. If you give a clear explanation, you will make a clear request. Tips for assertive communication: 1. Look at the other person. 2. Keep your head up and shoulders back. 3. Use a calm voice. 4. Use respectful, clear language. 123 I have a problem and I think I need your help. May I please speak to you for a moment? 4