Emotions and Decision Making

What about do you think?What about do you think?

““No aspect of our mental life is more No aspect of our mental life is more important to the quality and meaning important to the quality and meaning of our existence than our emotions.”of our existence than our emotions.”

What are Emotions?

• Signals that tell your mind and body how to react.

• How do our emotions influence our decisions?

• Remember: YOU are in CHARGE of HOW to HANDLE your emotions and reactions!

Functions of Emotions and Life• FearFear (survival mode) (survival mode)

– When you are in a dangerous situation can trigger the body and mind to protect you to run or fight for your life!

• JoyJoy (bonds us together, relieves stress) (bonds us together, relieves stress)– can prompt the release of brain chemicals that not only cause warm, happy

feelings, but also promote mental health.

• AngerAnger (keeps people away, damages health, expensive!) (keeps people away, damages health, expensive!)– can cause rise in heart rate, perspiration, and tightening of the muscles of the

stomach. If no emotional outlet is found for some of this tension, it builds up inside, eventually taking a toll on your health.

• GuiltGuilt is one of the most destructive emotions (exhausting)one of the most destructive emotions (exhausting)– it is important to get at the underlying source and address that issue. The sooner

you take action, the better. One way of avoiding this vicious circle is by resisting doing something you know is wrong in the first place.

• SO, emotions can change the decisions we make!• How can we deal with emotions in a way to help us?

FamilyPhysical HealthAttitudesNeurochemistryPersonal history

BeliefsExpectationsExperiencesValuesSleep & diet

Handling Emotions Healthfully (see previous slide)

• Look at the SITUATION, below the surface below the surface of your emotion. – Ask yourself: What is this feeling really about? – Do I have any control over what caused this situation or feeling?

• INTERPRETATION: Remind yourself that feelings are just feelingsfeelings, they are not factsnot facts.

– - What other things might be going on to cause you to feel this way?– Consider whether or not this feeling or situation will really matter so much

tomorrow, next week, or next year.

• EMOTION: Keep in mind that our emotions can be a useful signalscan be a useful signals. Listen to it while responding in a healthy way. – Use positive feelings to inspire you. Use upsetting ones to motivate you

to change.– Try to FEEL it out before ACTING. WAIT to act until your head & heart

have investigated what’s going on and what’s at stake.• BEHAVIOR:

– Remember that you ALWAYS have control over your actions. Emotions don’t excuse bad behavior!

– If the feeling starts to interfere with your life, seek helpseek help from a professional!

Let’s talk more about AngerLet’s talk more about Anger

• Anger is a normal emotion but it is energy expensive• It clouds our judgment and leads to decisions and

behaviors we often later regret• Uncontrolled anger can lead to a variety of illnesses and

ruin your relationships– Headaches, muscle tension, anxiety, depression, insomnia,

ulcers, unhealthy weight changes, high blood pressure, heart attacks, addictions, dating violence ….just to name a few

• Good news! Anyone can choose to deal healthier with their anger, rather than their anger taking over!

1. Take a timeout– We do NOT think clearly when angry. Our brains go into survival mode.– Make a choice to STOP, SLOW DOWN and Count to ten (or 50 or 100, whatever it

takes)– If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a

bit.

2. Use “I” statements – State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to

control them. I feel _____ when ____. Please ______.– Be respectful and specific. (See pocket card I made for you!)

3. Get some exercise– Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier

and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

4. Think before you speak- In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret.

- Choose to STOP yourself first! Lashing out will NOT make it better!! “It’s better to leave angry words unspoken than to mend a heart that they have broken”

Top 10 ways to deal with Anger Anger or any “tough emotion”or any “tough emotion”

• 5: Identify possible solutions (Predict & Rethink)– Instead of focusing on your anger or attacking the other person, focus on the BIG picture

and moving forward, rather than getting stuck in anger (Is it worth it to get angry?)

• 6: Don't hold a grudge (Let it go)– Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out

positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

– . It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

• 7: Use humor to release tension– Avoid sarcasm though, that’s verbal aggression

• 8: Practice relaxation skills– Practice deep-breathing exercises, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, “You’re ok”

or Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few stretches — whatever it takes to encourage HEALTHY relaxation.

• 9: Know when to get help – If your anger/emotions seem out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those

around you! (Social workers / therapist have jobs for a reason!)

• 10. Help avoid addictive escapes– As tempting as our “vices” can be, know that these just ignore the real problem and create a

whole other issue (addiction, drinking problems, obesity, illnesses, trouble with the law, etc)

Top 10 ways to deal with Anger

Bottom Line: Final Points• Your choices in how to handle your emotions DIRECTLY

affect your health!

• YOU are in charge of how you handle YOUR emotions • Choose to handle them or they can take over your life

• You are in charge of your happiness. No one else.

• Essential questions: Essential questions: • Which of these angerWhich of these anger

• Are they interfering with the quality of your life? If so, reach out for help (Ms. Are they interfering with the quality of your life? If so, reach out for help (Ms. Gerber, Ms. Lusk, Mr. Foster, Mrs. Montgomery)Gerber, Ms. Lusk, Mr. Foster, Mrs. Montgomery)