Emotional and Social Development in Middle Childhood

Chapter 10, to page 351Emotional and Social Development in Middle ChildhoodEriksons Theory: Industry versus InferiorityPsychological conflict of middle childhood: industry versus inferiority Resolved positively when children develop a sense of competence at useful skills and tasks Shift from make-believe play to realistic accomplishment

In industrialized nations, the beginning of formal schooling marks the transition to middle childhoodSchool entrance brings the beginning of literacy training, which prepares children for a vast array of specialized careersIn school, children discover their own and others unique capacities, learn the value of division of labor, and develop a sense of moral commitment and responsibility

The negative outcome of this stage is inferiority, lack of confidence in the ability to do things wellThis sense of inadequacy can develop when family life has not prepared children for school life or when teachers and peers destroy childrens feelings of competence and mastery with negative responses

Eriksons sense of industry combines several developments of middle childhoodA positive but realistic self-concept, pride in accomplishment, moral responsibility, and cooperative participation with agematesSelf-UnderstandingIn middle childhood, children become able to describe themselves in terms of psychological traits, to compare their own characteristics with those of their peers, and to speculate about the causes of their strengths and weaknessesThese transformations in self-understanding have a major impact on childrens self-esteem

Self-ConceptDuring the school years, children refine their self-concept, organizing their observations of behaviors and internal states into general dispositions (major change occurs between ages 8-11)Ex. 11 year old: My name is A. Im a human being. Im a girl. Im a truthful person. Im not pretty. I do so-so at school. Im a very good cellist. Im a very good pianist. Im a little bit tall for my age. I like several boys. I like several girls. Im old-fashioned. I play tennis. I am a very good swimmer. I try to be helpful. Im always ready to be friends with anybody. Mostly Im good, but I lose my temper. Im not well-liked by some girls and boys. I dont know if any boys like me or not.

In middle childhood, children tend to emphasize competencies rather than specific behaviorsEx. Im a very good pianist. rather than I play this song well.They can clearly describe their personality, including both positive and negative traits, rather than describing themselves in all-or-none waysEx. truthful but I lose my temper

Self-ConceptSchool-age children often make social comparisons judgments of their appearance, abilities, and behavior in relation to those of othersWhere 4-6 year olds can compare their own performance to that of one peer, older children can compare multiple individuals, including themselves What accounts for these revisions in self-concept?Cognitive development affects the changing structure of selfChildren are now able to coordinate several aspects of a situation when reasoning about the physical world (ex. Conservation of liquid)In the social realm, they combine typical experiences and behaviors into psychological dispositions, blend positive and negative characteristics, and compare their own characteristics with those of many other peers Self-ConceptAnother influence on the content of self-concept is feedback from othersSociologist George Mead proposed that a well-organized psychological self emerges when the child adopts a view of the self that resembles others attitudes toward the childPerspective-taking skills, especially an improved ability to infer what others are thinking, are crucial for the development of a self-concept based on personality traits As they internalize others expectations, children form an ideal self, which they use to evaluate their real selfChildren increasingly look to more people beyond the family for information about themselves as they enter a wider range of settings in school and communityAs children move into adolescence self-concept is increasingly vested in feedback from close friendsThe content of self-concept also varies between cultures and subculturesRecent research shows that in their self-descriptions, U.S. children list more personal attributes, whereas Chinese children list more attributes involving group membership and relationships Development of Self-EsteemRecall that most preschoolers have extremely high self-esteemBut as children enter school and receive much more feedback about how well they perform compared with their peers, self-esteem differentiates and also adjusts to a more realistic level

Hierarchically Structured Self-EsteemBy age 6-7, children have formed at least 4 broad self-esteems academic, social, and physical/athletic competence, and physical appearance Within each broad category, are more refined categories that become increasingly distinct with age Viewing the self in terms of stable dispositions permits school-age children to combine these self-evaluations into a general psychological image of themselves an overall sense of self-esteemSelf-esteem takes on a hierarchical structurePerceived physical appearance correlates more strongly with overall self-esteem than any other factorEmphasis on appearance, in the media and in society, has major implications for young peoples overall satisfaction with themselvesHierarchy of Self-Esteem (example)Changes in Level of Self-EsteemSelf-Esteem declines during the 1st few years of elementary school as children evaluate themselves in various areasTypically, the drop is not great enough to be harmfulMost (but not all) children appraise their characteristics and competencies realistically while maintaining an attitude of self-respectThen, from 4th grade on, self-esteem rises for the majority of young people, who feel especially good about their peer relationships and athletic capabilities

Influences on Self-EsteemFrom middle childhood on, individual differences in self-esteem become more stablePositive relationships emerge between self-esteem and success at valued activities Ex. Academic self-esteem predicts how important, useful, and enjoyable children judge school subjects to be, their willingness to try hard, and their achievementEx. Children with high social self-esteem are consistently better-liked by their classmatesEx. Sense of athletic competence is positively associated with investment and performance in sportsHowever, a profile of low self-esteem in all areas is linked to anxiety, depression, and increasing antisocial behavior

Influences on Self-Esteem: CultureCultural forces profoundly affect self-esteemA strong emphasis on social comparison in school may explain why Chinese and Japanese children, despite higher academic achievement, score lower in self-esteem than North American childrenIn Asian classrooms, competition is tough and achievement pressure is highAt the same time, because their culture values social harmony, Asian children tend to be reserved about judging themselves positively but generous in their praise of others Gender-stereotyped expectations also affect self-esteemIn one study, the more 5-8 year old girls talked with friends about the way people look, watched TV shows focusing on physical appearance, and perceived their friends as valuing thinness, the lower their physical self-esteem and overall self-worth were a year laterIn academic self-judgmentsGirls score higher in language arts self-esteemBoys score higher in math, science, and physical/athletic self-esteem, even when children of equal skill levels are compared African American children tend to have slightly higher self-esteem than their Caucasian agematesPossibly because of warm, extended families and stronger sense of ethnic pride, which most Caucasians lackInfluences on Self-Esteem: Child-Rearing Practices Children whose parents use an authoritative child-rearing style feel especially good about themselvesWarm, positive parenting lets children know that they are accepted as competent and worthwhileFirm but appropriate expectations, backed up with explanations, help children evaluate their own behavior against reasonable standards Controlling parents (those who too often help or make decisions for their child) communicate a sense of inadequacy to their childrenHaving parents who are repeatedly disapproving and insulting is linked to low self-esteemChildren subjected to controlling parenting need constant reassurance, and many rely heavily on peers to affirm their self-worth (which is a risk factor for adjustment difficulties, including aggression and antisocial behavior)Influences on Self-Esteem: Child-Rearing Practices Overindulgent parenting is correlated with unrealistically high self-esteem, which also undermines developmentThese children tend to lash out at challenges to their overblown self-images and, thus, are also likely to be hostile and aggressive American cultural values have increasingly emphasized a focus on the self that may lead parents to indulge children and boost their self-esteem too muchThe self-esteem of U.S. youths rose sharply from the 1970s-1990s, a period in which most popular parenting literature advised promoting childrens self-esteem Yet, compared with previous generations, American youths are achieving less well and displaying more antisocial behavior and other adjustment problemsResearch has shown that children DO NOT benefit from complements (Youre terrific!) that have no basis in real attainment When children strive for worthwhile goals, achievement fosters self-esteem, which, in turn, promotes good performance

Influences on Self-Esteem: Making Achievement-Related Attributions Attributions are our common, everyday explanations for the causes of behavior (our answers to the question Why did I or another person do that?)School-age children who are high in academic self-esteem and motivation make mastery-oriented attributionsThey credit their success to ability (which they can improve through trying hard) and their failures to factors that can be changed, such as insufficient effortChildren who develop learned helplessness attribute their failures to ability, but when they succeed, conclude that external factors, such as luck, are responsibleThey believe that ability is fixed and cannot be changed by trying hardWhen a task is difficult, these children experience an anxious loss of control, they give up with out really tryingInfluences on Self-Esteem: Making Achievement-Related Attributions Childrens attributions affect their goalsMastery oriented childrenSeek information on how best to increase their ability through effortHence, their performance improves over timeLearned helplessness childrenFocus on obtaining positive and avoiding negative evaluations of their fragile sense of abilityOver time, their ability no longer predicts how well they doBecause they fail to connect effort with success they do not develop the metacognitive and self-regulatory skills necessary for high achievementLack of effective learning strategies, reduced persistence, low performance, and a sense of loss of control sustain one another in a vicious cycle Influences on Achievement-Related AttributionsParental communication plays a key role in childrens attributionsLearned-helplessness children tend to have parents who believe their child is not very capable and has to work harder to succeedEx. When the child fails, the parent might say You cant do that, can you? Its OK if you quit.Ex. After the child succeeds, the parent might give feedback that evaluates the childs traits, Youre so smart!Parents of learned-helplessness children tend to give them feedback in the form of trait statements (Youre so smart!)Trait statements promote a fixed view of ability, leading children to question their competence in the face of setbacks and to retreat from challengeTeachers messages also affect childrens attributionsTeachers who emphasize learning over getting good grades tend to have mastery-oriented studentsStudents with unsupportive teachers tend to regard their performance as externally controlled (ex. by luck or teachers)They withdraw from learning activities and their achievement declines (which leads children to doubt their ability further)

Influences on Achievement-Related AttributionsFor some children performance is especially likely to be undermined by negative adult feedbackDespite their higher achievement, girls more often than boys blame their poor performance on abilityGirls tend to receive messages from teachers and parents that their ability is at fault when they do not do well, and negative stereotypes (ex. Girls are weak in math) reduce their interest and effortLow-SES ethnic minority students often receive less favorable feedback from teachersEspecially when assigned to homogeneous groups of poorly achieving students (which typically results in a drop in academic self-esteem and performance)Cultural values affect the likelihood that children will develop learned helplessness Because of the high value their culture places on effort and self-improvement, Asians pay more attention to failure than to success, because failure indicates were corrective action is neededAmericans, in contrast, focus more on success because it enhances self-esteem

Fostering a Mastery-Oriented ApproachAn intervention called attribution retaining encourages learned-helplessness children to believe that they can overcome failure by exerting more effort Children are given tasks difficult enough that they will experience some failure, followed by repeated feedback that helps them revise their attributions You can do it if you try harder.After they succeed, children receive additional feedback Youre really good at this. or You really tried hard on that one. so that they attribute their success to both ability and effort, not chanceAnother approach is to encourage low-effort children to focus less on grades and more on mastering a task for its own sakeInstruction in effective strategies and self-regulation is also vital, to compensate for development lost in this area and to ensure that renewed effort pays offAttribution retaining is best begun early, before childrens views of themselves become hard to changeEmotional DevelopmentGreater self-awareness and social sensitivity support gains in emotional competence in middle childhoodChanges take place in experience of self-conscious emotions, emotional understanding, and emotional self-regulation

Self-Conscious EmotionsIn middle childhood, the self-conscious emotions of pride and guilt become clearly governed by personal responsibility and no longer depend on adult monitoringChildren experience pride in new accomplishments and guilt over a transgression, even when no adult is presentAlso, children no longer report guilt for any mishap, as they did earlier in the preschool years, now they only report guilt for intentional wrongdoing, such as lying, ignoring responsibilities, or cheatingPride motivates children to take on challengesGuilt prompts children to make amends and strive for self-improvement Harsh reprimands from adults can lead to intense shame (ex. Everyone else can do it! Why cant you?), which is particularly destructive A shame-induced, sharp drop in self-esteem can trigger withdrawal, depression, and intense anger at those who participated in the shame-evoking situation

Emotional UnderstandingSchool-age children, unlike preschoolers, are likely to explain emotion by referring to internal states (like happy or sad thoughts) rather than to external events Around age 8, children become aware that they can experience more than one emotion at a time, each of which can be positive or negative and differ in intensityEx. A child can be happy they got a present from their grandmother, but also sad that it was a sweater and socks rather than the action figure they really wanted Appreciating mixed emotions helps children realize that peoples expressions may not reflect their true feelings, and also fosters awareness of self-conscious emotions Between ages 8-9, they improve sharply in ability to distinguish pride from happiness and surpriseThey also understand that pride combines 2 sources of happiness (joy in accomplishment and joy that a significant person recognized that accomplishment)They can reconcile contradictory facial and situational cues in figuring out another's feelings and can use information about what might have happened to predict how people will feel in a new situation

Emotional UnderstandingAs with self-understanding, gains in emotional understanding are supported by cognitive development and social experiencesEspecially adults sensitivity to childrens feelings and willingness to discuss emotionsTogether, cognitive development and social experience lead to a rise in empathyAs children move closer to adolescence, advances in perspective taking permit an empathetic response not just to peoples immediate distress but also to their general life condition

Emotional Self-RegulationRapid gains in emotional self-regulation occur in middle childhoodAs children engage in social comparison and care more about peer approval, they must learn to manage negative emotion that threatens their self-esteemBy age 10, most children are able to shift adaptively between 2 general strategies for managing emotion Problem-centered coping children appraise the situation as changeable, identify the difficulty, and decide what to so about itIf problem solving doesnt work, they engage in emotion-centered coping internal, private, and aimed at controlling distress when little can be done about an outcome Ex. When faced with an anxiety-provoking test or an angry friend, older school-age children view problem solving and seeking social support as the best strategiesBut when outcomes are beyond their control, like after getting a bad grade on a test, they opt for distraction or try to redefine the situation, Things could be worse. Therell be another test.Emotional Self-RegulationThrough interacting with parents, teachers, and peers, school-age children become more knowledgeable about socially approved ways to display negative emotionThey increasingly prefer verbal strategies (ex. Please stop pushing and wait your turn.) to crying, sulking, or aggressionWhen emotional self-regulation has developed well, children acquire a sense of emotional self-efficacy a feeling of being in control of their emotional experienceThis fosters favorable self-image and an optimistic outlookThe parents of children who are emotionally well-regulated respond sensitively and helpfully when the child is distressedIn contrast, poorly regulated children often experience hostile, dismissive parental reactions to distress and are overwhelmed by negative emotion Understanding Diversity and Inequality By the early school years, children associate power and privilege with white people and poverty and inferior status with other ethnicities They do not necessarily acquire these views directly from parents or friendsRather, they seem to pick up prevailing societal attitudes from implicit messages in the media and elsewhere in their environments

In-Group and Out-Group Biases: Development of PrejudiceBy age 5-7, white children generally evaluate their own racial group more favorably than other peer groupsWhile many minority children of this age evaluate their own group more negatively than the white majorityWith age, children pay more attention to inner traits and begin to understand that people who look different do not think, feel, or act differently After age 7-8, both majority and minority children express in-group favoritism, and white childrens prejudice against out-group members declinesIn-Group and Out-Group Biases: Development of PrejudiceThe extent to which children hold racial and ethnic biases depends on several factorsA fixed view of personality traits: Children who believe that personality traits are fixed rather than changeable often judge others as either good or badThey ignore circumstances and readily form prejudices based on limited informationEx. They might infer that a new child at school who tells a lie to get other kids to like her is just a bad personOverly high self-esteem: Children (and adults) with overly high self-esteem are more likely to hold racial and ethnic prejudices These individuals seem to belittle individuals or groups to justify their own extremely favorable self-evaluationA social world in which people are sorted into groups: the more adults highlight group distinctions for children and the less interracial contact children experience, the more likely children are to display prejudice Reducing Prejudice Providing opportunities for intergroup contact, especially long-term contact in neighborhoods, schools, and communities, is effectiveThis provides racially and ethnically different children the opportunity to work toward common goals and become personally acquainted Classrooms that expose children to ethnic diversity, teach them to value those differences, directly address the damage caused by prejudice, and encourage perspective taking and empathy both prevent children from forming negative biases and reduce already acquired biases Another approach is to teach children to view others traits as changeable Discussing the many possible influences on traits with childrenThe more children believe that people can change their personalities, the more they report liking and perceiving themselves as similar to members of other groups

Peer Relations In middle childhood, the society of peers becomes an increasingly important context for developmentPeer contact contributes to perspective taking and understanding of self and othersThese developments, in turn, enhance peer interactionCompared with preschoolers, school-age children resolve conflicts more effectively, using persuasion and compromiseSharing, helping, and other prosocial acts increaseAggression declines, especially physical attacksBut, verbal and relational aggression continue as children form peer groups

Peer GroupsBy the end of middle childhood, children form peer groups collectives that generate unique values and standards for behavior and social structure of leaders and followersPeer groups organize on the basis of proximity (being in the same classroom) and similarity in sex, ethnicity, popularity, and aggressionThe peer culture of a peer group typically consists of a specialized vocabulary, dress code, and place to hang outChildren who violate the codes of dress and behavior that grow out of peer groups are often rebuffed becoming targets of critical glances and commentsWithin the peer group, children acquire many social skills, including cooperation and leadershipWhen children who are no longer respected are excluded from groups, they may turn to other low-status peers for group belongingThereby reducing their opportunities to learn socially competent behaviorDesire for group membership can also be satisfied through formal groups, such as scouts and religious youth groups Of course, adult involvement can hold negative behaviors in check in childrens formal and informal peer groupsFriendships Whereas peer groups provide children with insight into larger social structures, friendships contribute to the development of trust and sensitivity During the school years, friendships becomes more complex and psychologically basedEx. A quote from an 8 year old: Why is Shelly your best friend? Because she helps me when Im sad, and she sharesWhat makes Shelly so special? Ive known her longer, I sit next to her and got to know her better How come you like Shelly better than anyone else? Shes done the most for me. She never disagrees, she never eats in front of me, she never walks away when Im crying, and she helps me with my homework. .. How do you get someone to like you? If youre nice to [your friends], theyll be nice to you.

Friendships As these responses show, friendship has become a mutually agreed-on relationship in which children like each others personal qualities and respond to one anothers needs and desires Once a friendship forms, trust becomes its defining featureSchool age children state that a good friendship is based on acts of kindness that signify that each person can be counted on to support the otherConsequently, older children regard violations of trust, such as not helping when others need help, breaking promises, and gossiping behind the others back, as serious breaches of friendshipBecause of these factors, school-age childrens friendships are more selectiveWhereas preschoolers say they have lots of friends, by age 8-9, children name only a few good friendsGirls, who demand greater closeness than boys, are more exclusive in their friendships Friendships Children tend to choose friends who are similar to themselves in age, sex, race, ethnicity, and SES, as well as in personality, popularity, academic achievement, and prosocial behaviorYet, friendship opportunities offered by childrens environments also affect their choices In integrated classrooms with mixed-race collaborative learning groups, students form more cross-race friendships Over middle childhood, friendships remain fairly stable (about 50-70% enduring over a school year, and some for several years)Through friendships, children come to realize that close friendships can survive disagreements if friends are secure in their liking for one anotherWhich helps them learn to tolerate criticism and resolve disputes Friendships The impact of friendships on childrens development depends on the nature of their friends Children who bring kindness and compassion to their friendships strengthen each others prosocial tendencies and form more lasting tiesWhen aggressive children make friends, the relationship is often riddled with hostile interaction and is at risk for breakup, especially if only one member of the pair is aggressiveAggressive girls friendships are high in exchange of private feelings but full of jealousy, conflict, and betrayalAggressive boys friendships involve frequent expressions of anger, coercive statements, physical attacks, and enticements to rule-breaking behavior

Peer AcceptancePeer acceptance refers to likability the extent to which a child is viewed by a group of agemates as a worthy social partnerUnlike friendship, likability is not a mutual relationship but is a one-sided perspective, involving the groups view of an individual Certain social skills that contribute to friendship enhance peer acceptanceBetter accepted children tend to have more friends and more positive relationships with themTo measure peer acceptance, researchers usually use self-reports that measure social preferences or social prominenceEx. Social preferences: asking children to identify classmates whom they like very much or like very littleEx. Social prominence: childrens judgments of whom most of their classmates admire

Peer AcceptanceChildrens self-reports reveal 4 broad categories of social acceptancePopular children: receive many positive votes (are well-liked)Rejected children: get many negative votes (are disliked)Controversial children: receive many votes, both positive and negativeNeglected children: are seldom chosen, either positively or negatively About 2/3 of pupils in typical elementary school classrooms fit one of these categoriesThe remaining1/3 are average in peer acceptance and do not receive extreme scores Peer AcceptancePeer acceptance is a powerful predictor of psychological adjustment Rejected children are anxious, unhappy, disruptive, and low in self-esteemBoth teachers and parents rate them as having a wide range of emotional and social problemsPeer rejection in middle childhood is strongly associated with poor school performance, absenteeism, dropping out, substance use, depression, antisocial behavior, and delinquency in adolescence and with criminality in early adulthoodEarlier influences, such as parenting practices and family stress, may largely explain the link between peer acceptance and adjustment School-age children with peer-relationship problems are more likely to have experienced family stress due to low income, insensitive child rearing, and coercive disciplineAlso, rejected children evoke reactions from peers that contribute to their unfavorable development Determinants of Peer AcceptanceWhy is one child liked while another is rejected?A wealth of research shows that social behavior plays a powerful role

Determinants of Peer Acceptance: Popular ChildrenPopular-prosocial children usually combine academic and social competenceThey perform well in school and communicating with peers in sensitive, friendly, and cooperative waysPopular-antisocial children may be tough boys who are athletically skilled but are poor students who cause trouble and defy adult authority, or relationally aggressive boys and girls who ignore, exclude, and spread rumors about other children as a way of enhancing their own statusDespite their aggressiveness, peers view these youths as cool, perhaps because of their athletic ability and sophisticated but devious social skillsAlthough peer admiration gives these children some protection against lasting adjustment difficulties, their antisocial acts require interventionWith age, peers like these high-status, aggressive peers less and less This trend is stronger for relationally aggressive girlsThe more socially prominent and controlling these girls become, the more they engage in relational aggressionEventually peers condemn their nasty tactics and reject themDeterminants of Peer Acceptance: Rejected ChildrenRejected-aggressive children the largest subtype of rejected children, show high rates of conflict, physical and relational aggression, and hyperactive and impulsive behavior Are also deficient in perspective taking and emotion regulationEx. They tend to misinterpret the innocent behaviors of peers as hostile and to blame others for their social difficultiesCompared with popular-aggressive children, they are more extremely antagonisticRejected-withdrawn children are passive, socially awkward, and overwhelmed by social anxietyThey hold negative expectations for treatment by peers, and worry about being scorned and attacked Rejected children are excluded as early as kindergartenSoon their classroom participation declines, their feelings of loneliness rise, and their academic achievement falters, and they want to avoid schoolRejected children generally have few or no friends, which results in severe adjustment difficulties Both types of rejected children are at risk for peer harassmentRejected aggressive children also act as bulliesRejected-withdrawn children are especially likely to be victimized Determinants of Peer Acceptance: Controversial & Neglected ChildrenControversial children display both positive and negative social behaviors, engendering mixed peer opinionThey are hostile and disruptive, but they also engage in positive, prosocial actsThough they have friends, they often bully others and engage in calculated relational aggression to maintain their dominanceNeglected children, once thought to be in need of treatment, are usually just as socially skilled as average childrenThey do not report feeling lonely or unhappy, and when they want to, they can break away from their usual pattern of playing by themselvesThese children remind us that an outgoing, gregarious personality style is not the only path to emotional wellbeing

Gender TypingChildrens understanding of gender roles broadens in middle childhoodAnd, their gender identities (views of themselves as relatively masculine or feminine) change as wellDevelopment differs for girls and boys, and it can vary considerably across cultures

Gender-Stereotyped BeliefsGender stereotyping of personality traits increases steadily in middle childhood, and is adultlike by age 11Ex. Children regard tough, aggressive, rational, and dominant as masculine and gentle, sympathetic, and dependent as feminineChildren make these distinctions on the basis of observed sex differences in behavior and of differential adult treatment of boys and girls When helping a child with a task, parents (especially fathers) behave in a more mastery-oriented fashion with sons, setting higher standards, explaining concepts, and pointing out important features of tasks (particularly during gender-typed tasks such as science activities)Parents less often encourage girls to make their own decisionsParents and teachers more often praise boys for knowledge and accomplishment and girls for obedience Gender-Stereotyped BeliefsSchool-age children consider certain academic subjects as feminine and others as masculineThey often regard reading, spelling, art, and music as more for girls and mathematics, athletics, and mechanical skills as more for boysThese attitudes influence childrens preferences for and sense of competence at certain subjects Ex. Boys tend to feel more competent than girls at math and science, whereas girls feel more competent than boys as language arts (even when children of equal skill level are compared)Although school-age children are aware of many stereotypes, they also develop a more open-minded view of what males and females can doThe ability to classify flexibly underlies this changeThey realize that a person can belong to more than one social category (ex. One can be a boy yet like to play house)By the end of middle childhood, children regard gender typing as socially rather than biologically influencedBut, acknowledging that people can cross gender lines does not mean they always approve of doing soThey take a harsh view of certain violations (ex. Boys playing with dolls and wearing girls clothing, girls acting noisily and roughly)They are especially intolerant when boys engage in cross-gender acts, which children regard as nearly as bad as moral transgressions Gender Identity and Behavior From 3rd-6th grade, boys strengthen their identification with masculine personality traitsWhile girls identification with feminine traits declines Compared with boys, who usually stick to masculine pursuits, girls begin to experiment with a wider range of options and more often consider traditionally male future work roles These changes reflect a mixture of cognitive and social forcesSchool-age children are aware that society attaches greater prestige to masculine characteristicsParents, especially fathers, are more tolerant of girls than boys crossing gender linesA tomboyish girl can make her way into boys activities without losing the approval of her female peers, but a boy who hangs out with girls is likely to be ridiculed and rejected Gender Identity and Behavior As children make social comparisons and characterize themselves in terms of stable dispositions, gender identity expands to include self-evaluations, which greatly affect adjustmentGender typicality the degree to which the child feels similar to others of the same genderAlthough children dont need to be highly gender-typed to view themselves as gender-typical, their psychological well-being depends, to some degree, on feeling that they fit in with their same-sex peersGender contentedness the degree to which the child feels satisfied with his or her gender assignment, which also promotes happiness Felt pressure to conform to gender roles the degree to which the child feels parents and peers disapprove of his or her gender-related traitsBecause such pressure reduces the likelihood that children will explore options related to their interests and talents, children who feel strong gender-typed pressure are often distressedGender Identity and Behavior How children feel about themselves in relations to their gender group becomes vitally important in middle childhoodThose who experience rejection because of their gender-atypical traits suffer profoundly Currently, researchers and therapists are debating how best to help children who feel gender-atypical Some experts advocate using therapy to make gender-atypical children more gender-typicalThrough therapy and reinforcing children for engaging in traditional gender-role activities so they will feel more compatible with same-sex peersOthers oppose this approach on grounds that it is likely to heighten felt pressure to conform (which predicts maladjustment)And for children who fail to change this may result in parental rejectionThese experts advocate intervening with parents and peers to help them become more accepting of childrens gender-atypical interests and behaviors

Family InfluencesAs children move into school, peer, and community contexts, the parent-child relationships changeAt the same time, childrens well-being continues to depend on the quality of family interactionContemporary changes in families (high rates of divorce, remarriage, and maternal employment) can have positive and negative effects on children

Parent-Child RelationshipsIn middle childhood, the amount of time children spend with parents declines dramatically, and the childs growing independence means that parents must deal with new issuesEx. How many chores to assign, how much allowance to give, whether their friends are good influences, what to do about problems in school, keeping track of children when theyre out, or even when theyre home and the parent isnt there to see whats going on Child rearing becomes easier for parents who established an authoritative style in the early yearsReasoning is more effective with school-age children because of their greater capacity for logical thinking and their increased respect for parents greater knowledgeEffective parents engage in Coregulation a form of supervision in which parents exercise general oversight while permitting children to be in charge of moment-to-moment decision makingGrows out of cooperative relationship between parent and child and prepares the child for the greater freedom of adolescenceParents must guide and monitor from a distance and effectively communicate expectations when they are with their childrenChildren must inform parents of their whereabouts, activities, and problems so parents can intervene when necessaryParent-Child RelationshipsParents tend to devote more time to children of their own sexIn parents separate activities with children, mothers are more concerned with caregiving and ensuring that children meet responsibilities in homework, after-school activities, and choresFathers, especially those with sons, focus on achievement-related and recreational pursuitsBut, when both parents are present, fathers engage in as much caregiving as mothersAlthough school-age children often press for greater independence, they know how much they need their parents continuing support In one study, 5th and 6th graders described parents as the most influential people in their livesThey often turned to mothers and fathers for affection, advice, enhancement of self-worth, and assistance with everyday problems

Siblings Siblings are important sources of support for school-age childrenHowever, sibling rivalry increases in middle childhood As children participate in a wider range of activities, parents often compare siblings traits and accomplishments The child who gets less parental affection, more disapproval, or fewer maternal resources is likely to be resentfulFor same-sex siblings who are close in age, parental comparisons are more frequent, resulting in more quarreling and antagonism and poorer adjustment This effect is particularly strong when parents are under stress; parents whose energies are drained are less careful about being fair To reduce rivalry, siblings often strive to be different from one another, thereby shaping important aspects of each others developmentEx. 2 brothers may deliberately choose different athletic pursuits and musical instruments, and if the older one does especially well at an activity, the younger one may not want to try it Parents can limit these effects by making an effort not to compare children, but some feedback about their competencies is inevitable Although conflict rises, school-age siblings continue to rely on each other for companionship and assistance But for siblings to reap these benefits, parental encouragement of warm, considerate sibling ties is vital

Only ChildrenSibling relationships are not essential for healthy developmentContrary to popular belief, only children are not as spoiled as you think, and in some respects, they are advantagedU.S. children growing up in one-child and multichild families do not differ in self-rated personality traitsAnd, compared to children with siblings, only children are higher in self-esteem and achievement motivation, do better in school, and attain higher levels of educationOne reason for this may be that only children have somewhat closer relationships with parentsParents may exert more pressure for mastery and accomplishment However, only children tend to be less well-accepted in peer groupsPerhaps because they have not had opportunities to practice conflict resolution skills with siblingsOnly ChildrenFavorable development also characterizes only children in China, where a one-child-only policy has been strictly enforced in urban areas for more than 20 years, to control population growthCompared with agemates who have siblings, Chinese only children are advanced in cognitive development and academic achievementThey also feel more emotionally secure, maybe because government disapproval promotes tension in families with more than one childChinese mothers usually ensure that their children have regular contact with 1st cousins (who are considered siblings)Perhaps as a result, Chinese only children do not differ from agemates with siblings in social skills and peer acceptanceHowever, the next generation of Chinese only children will have no 1st cousins

DivorceCurrently, the divorce rate in the U.S. is the highest in the world, and of 45% of American marriages that end in divorce, half involve children of American children live in single-parent households, most with their mothersBut, single father households have increased steadily to about 12%Children of divorce spend an average of 5 years in a single-parent home (almost 1/3 of their childhood)About 2/3 of divorced parents marry again, and of their children eventually experience the end of their parents 2nd marriageDivorce is not a single event in the lives of parents and childrenIt is a transition that leads to a variety of new living arrangements, accompanied by changes in housing, income, and family roles and responsibilitiesAlthough many studies have reported that marital breakup is stressful for children, great individual differences exist in how well children fare Impact on children involves many factors including: the custodial parents psychological health, the childs characteristics, and social supports within the family and surrounding community

Divorce: Immediate Consequences In newly divorced households, family conflict often risesMother-headed households typically experience a sharp drop in incomeThe majority of single mothers with young children live in poverty, getting less than the full amount of child support from the absent father or none at allThey often move to lower-cost housing, reducing supportive ties to neighbors and friends The transition from marriage to divorce typically leads to high maternal stress, depression, and anxiety and to a disorganized family situationEx. Meals and bedtimes may occur at all hours, the house may not get cleaned, and children may no longer go on weekend outings As children react with distress and anger to their less secure home lives, discipline may become harsh and inconsistentContact with noncustodial fathers often decreases over time Fathers who see their children only occasionally may be permissive, making the mothers task even harderThe more parents argue and fail to provide children with warmth, involvement, and consistent guidance, the poorer childrens adjustment About 20-25% of children in divorced families display severe problems, compared with about 10% in nondivorced families At the same time, reactions vary with childrens age, temperament, and sexDivorce: Childrens AgeYounger children often blame themselves for a marital breakup and fear abandonment by both parentsOlder children can understand that they are not responsible for their parents divorceBut they may still react strongly, declining in school performance, becoming unruly, and escaping into undesirable peer activities, especially when family conflict is high and supervision is lowThe oldest children in a family may display more mature behavior, such as willingly taking on extra family and household tasks as well as emotional support of a depressed, anxious motherBut, they may become resentful when the demands are too great

Divorce: Childrens Temperament and SexWhen temperamentally difficult children are exposed to stressful life events and inadequate parenting, their problems are magnifiedEasy children are less often then targets of parental anger and also cope more effectively with adversity Girls sometimes respond to divorce with internalizing reactions such as crying and withdrawalMore often, children of both sexes show demanding and attention-getting behaviorIn mother-custody families, boys experience more serious adjustment problems Boys are more active and noncompliant in general, and these behaviors increase with exposure to parental conflict and inconsistent disciplineCoercive maternal behavior and defiance on the part of sons are common in divorcing households Maybe because of their unruly behavior, boys receive less emotional support from mothers, teachers, and peersTheir coercive interactions with their mothers soon spread to their siblings relationshipsIn general, children who are challenging to rear get worse after divorce Divorce: Long-Term ConsequencesMost children show improved adjustment by 2 years after divorceBut, overall, continue to show slightly lower academic achievement, self-esteem, and social competence and emotional adjustmentChildren with difficult temperaments are especially likely to drop out of school, be depressed, and display antisocial behaviorDivorce is linked to problems with adolescent sexuality and development of intimate tiesYoung people who experienced divorce (especially more than once) display higher rates of early sexuality and adolescent parenthoodSome experience other lasting difficulties, such as reduced educational attainment, troubled romantic relationships and marriages, divorce in adulthood, and unsatisfying parent-child relationships The overriding factor in positive adjustment following divorce is effective parentingShielding the child from family conflict and using authoritative child rearingDivorce: Long-Term ConsequencesContact with fathers is important in mother-custody situationsThe more paternal contact and the warmer the father-child relationship, the less children react with defiance and aggressionFor girls, a good father-child relationships protects against early sexual activity and unhappy romantic involvementsFor boys, it seems to affect overall psychological well-beingIn fact, several studies indicate that outcomes for sons are better when the father is the custodial parentFathers greater economic security and image of authority seem to help them engage in effective parenting with sonsAnd boys in father-custody families may benefit from greater involvement of both parents because noncustodial mothers participate more than noncustodial fathers Although, divorce is painful for children, remaining in an intact but high-conflict family is worse for children than making the transition to a low-conflict, single-parent householdDivorcing parents who set aside their disagreements and support each other in their child-rearing roles greatly improve their childrens chances of growing up competent, stable, and happyCaring extended-family members, teachers, siblings, and friends also reduce the likelihood that divorce will result in long-term difficulties

Divorce Mediation, Joint Custody, and Child SupportAwareness that divorce is highly stressful for children and families has led to community-based services aimed at helping them through this difficult timeDivorce mediation a series of meetings between divorcing adults and a trained professional aimed at reducing family conflict, including battles over property division and child custodyAn increasingly common custody option is joint custody which grants both parents equal say in important decisions about the childs upbringingIn most cases, children reside with one parent and see the other on a fixed scheduleIn other cases, parents share physical custody, and children move between homes and sometimes schools and peer groupsRegardless of living arrangements, children in joint custody situations tend to be better adjusted than children in sole-maternal-custody homes Many single-parent families depend on child support from the noncustodial parent to relieve financial strainAll states have procedures for withholding wages from parents who fail to make child-support payments Although child support is usually not enough to lift a single-parent family out of poverty, it can ease its burdens substantiallyNoncustodial fathers who have generous visitation schedules and who often see their children are more likely to pay child support regularly Blended Families A blended, or reconstituted family, is a family structure resulting from remarriage of a divorced parent that includes parent, child, and new steprelatives For some children, this expanded family network is positive, bringing more adult attentionBut most children have more problems than children in stable, first-marriage familiesSwitching to stepparents new rules and expectations can be stressful, and children often view steprelatives as intrudersHow well children adapts is, again, related to the quality of family functioningDepends on which parent forms a new relationship, the childs age and sex, and the complexity of blended-family relationshipsOlder children and girls seem to have the hardest time

Mother-Stepfather FamiliesThis arrangement is the most common because mothers generally retain custody of childrenBoys usually adjust quickly if the stepfather is warm, refrains from exerting his authority too quickly, and offers relief from coercive cycles of mother-son interactionStepfathers who marry, rather than just cohabitating, are more involved in parentingMaybe because men who choose to marry a mother with children are more interested and skilled at child rearingGirls often react with sulky, resistant behaviorStepfathers may disrupt the close ties many girls have established with their mothers Older school-age children and adolescents of both sexes find it harder to adjust to blended families They often display more irresponsible, acting-out behavior than their peers not in blended families Some stepparents are more involved with their biological children than their stepchildren and older school-age children and adolescents are more likely to notice and challenge unfair treatmentAdolescents often view the new stepparent as a threat to their freedom, especially if they experienced little parental monitoring in the single-parent family Father-Stepmother Families When fathers have custody, children typically react negatively to remarriageOne reason is that children living with fathers often start out with more problemsPerhaps the biological mother could no longer handle the difficult child (usually a boy) so the father and his new partner are faced with a youngster who has behavior problemsIn other instances, the father has custody because of a very close relationship with the child, and his remarriage disrupts this bondGirls especially have a hard time getting along with their stepmothersEither because the remarriage threatens the girls bond with her father or because she becomes entangled in loyalty conflicts between her two mother figures But, the longer girls live in father-stepmother households, the more positive their interaction with stepmothers becomes With time and patience most girls benefit from the support of a second mother figure

Support for Blended FamiliesFamily life education and therapy can help parents and children adapt to the complexities of living in a blended familyEffective approaches encourage stepparents to move into their new roles gradually by first building a warm relationship with the childCounselors can help couples form a cooperative parenting coalition to limit loyalty conflicts and provide consistency in child rearingThis allows children to benefit from the increased diversity that stepparent relationships bring to their lives The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher than for first marriagesParents with antisocial tendencies and poor child-rearing skills are particularly likely to have several divorces and remarriagesThe more marital transitions children experience, the greater their difficultiesThese families usually require prolonged, intensive therapy Maternal Employment and Child DevelopmentChildren of mothers who enjoy their work and remain committed to parenting show favorable adjustment including higher self-esteem, more positive family and peer relations, less gender-stereotyped beliefs, and better grades in schoolGirls, especially, profit from the image of female competenceRegardless of SES, daughters of employed mothers perceive womens roles as involving more freedom of choice and satisfaction and are more achievement and career-orientedEmployed mothers who value their parenting role are more likely to use authoritative child rearing and coregulationFathers in dual-earner households often take on greater child-rearing responsibilitiesPaternal involvement is associated with higher achievement and more mature social behaviorWhen the mothers employment is overly stressful, children are at risk for ineffective parenting: reduced parental sensitivity, fewer joint parent-child activities, and poorer cognitive development in children throughout childhood and adolescence Especially when low-SES mothers spend long hours at low-paying, physically exhausting jobsPart-time employment and flexible work schedules are associated with good child adjustment Support for Employed Parents and Their Families In dual-earner families, the husbands willingness to share household responsibilities is crucialIf he helps little or not at all, the mother carries a double load, at home and at work, leading to fatigue, distress, and little time and energy for childrenAssistance from work settings and communities is needed in dual-earner familiesSuch as part-time employment, flexible schedules, and job sharing, and paid leave when children are sick helps parents juggle the demands of work and child rearing Equal pay and employment opportunities for women are also importantBecause these policies enhance financial status and morale, they improve the way mothers feel and behave when they arrive home at the end of the working day Child Care for School-Age ChildrenHigh-quality child care is vital for parents peace of mind and childrens well-being, even in middle childhoodSelf-care children are the estimated 7 million 5-13 year olds in the U.S. who are without adult supervision for some period of time after schoolSome studies report that self-care children suffer from adjustment problems, whereas others show no such effectsChildrens maturity and the way they spend their time seem to explain these contradictionsAmong younger school-age children, those who spend more hours alone have more emotional and social difficulties Older self-care children who have a history of authoritative child rearing, are monitored by telephone calls, and have regular after-school chores appear responsible and well adjustedIn contrast, children left to their own devices are more likely to bend to peer pressuresBefore age 8-9, most children need supervision because they are not yet competent to handle emergencies Attending after-school programs with well-trained staffs, generous adult-child ratios, and skill-building activities is linked to better adjustmentLow-SES children who participate in after-care enrichment activities show special benefits Ex. Scouting, music and art lessons, clubs, sports, etc.