Elder Mediation Skills: Helping our elders to age well.

Today’s presentation

• What differentiates elder mediation from family mediation?

• What is the purpose of an intake for the participants and the mediator?

• Case Study: An intake for Margaret’s mediation with her family: applying your newly acquired skills.

Who are our elders?

Who are our elders?

Susan SarandonHelen Merrin

Prince Charles

Who are our elders?

Richard Branson

What differentiates elder mediation from family mediation?

• Disputes arise in the context of ageing;• Multiparty and intergenerational;• Multi-issue;• Personal Relationships must be maintained.

Intake: Purpose for the participants

Build trust and rapport by:• Outlining the features of mediation: describing the process and the

role of the mediator;• Discussing how to include the voice of the elder in the mediation;• Discussing confidentiality;• Discussing the agreement to mediate;• Agreeing on a date, time, venue;• Determining whether referrals to social worker, psychologist, lawyer,

financial advisor are required.

Intake: Purpose for the mediator• Undertake the following assessments:

an elder abuse assessment a capacity assessment a conflict analysis/ family dynamics analysis

• Discuss a process for reaching agreements• Inquire about special needs• Discuss who will attend and what their role will be• Begin to formulate a list of issues to discuss

Margaret’s Story

• 90 year old lady who lives alone;

• Margaret is very pious and attends Mass daily;

• She has recently had a hip replacement and self discharged from hospital;

• On her return home she “fired” the community services;

• Margaret has had a very dysfunctional relationship with her children;

• Her only son, Bill, lives in the same town and visits twice a day;

• Bill’s wife no longer visits Margaret because she is rude and aggressive towards her;

• Margaret has 4 daughters: two of whom live interstate.

Margaret’s Story cont.

• Her daughter, Judith, is her only attorney under the Enduring Power of Attorney and lives 5 hours away;

• Margaret assumed the raising of her daughter’s Rosemary’s child when he was a baby, unbeknown to the rest of the family;

• Rosemary visits her mother fortnightly;

• Bill has been informed by the local policeman that there has been a complaint about Margaret’s driving;

• Margaret insists that she is a safe driver who can look after herself;

• Margaret phones Bill frequently during the day asking for help.

What questions does this story raise for the mediator?

• How can Margaret’s participation be accommodated? Does Margaret require a support person or advocate?

• Is elder abuse occurring? • Who should attend the mediation?• How can the mediator support all parties’ participation in the

mediation?• What venue and time would work best for Margaret?

What questions does this story raise for the mediator? cont.

• What is the family’s conflict management system?• What are the family dynamics?• How will the family make decisions? • Do the parties need referrals to a social worker, lawyer or

financial advisor?

As people who work with our elders, we must see them as our Wisdom Keepers who should be encouraged to enjoy passing on wisdom to younger people that not only seeds the future but crowns the elder’s life with worth and dignity. 

From Ageing to Sage-ing – A Profound New Vision of Growing Older, Zalman Schachter-Shalomi and Ronald S.Miller

Thank You