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Identity is a tricky thing, an elusive quality that can rarely be put down to a single word or phrase. In an era of growing interconnectivity, people rarely assign themselves to one group or quality. We have our belief systems, our races, our level of intelligence; there are the hobbies, the neighborhoods, the causes for which we would bleed; we cherish hair color, family albums, character flaws. Constantly people are molding themselves, denying or embracing inherent qualities—ever adding and subtracting to the great project that is the Self.

This issue celebrates that creation, the way we see ourselves and the way others see us.

This issue also marks a special change in the very short Ego Bruise history: it is the first issue available for print, which will be availabe on-demand at magcloud.com. In the spirit of accessability,sharing, and fairness, the magazine is priced at cost to produce, with no monetary profit gained.

Thanks once again to all who submitted work to the third issue. You have made editing this magazine very enjoyable.

— Melanie Richards, Editor-in-Chief

Cover: Design by Melanie Richards, photos by Ryan Keightley

Issue 3

identity

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STUFF

# interview with jayanti seiler34 contributors35 next issue’s call for entry

DRAWING/PHOTOGRAPHY/DESIGN

WRITING: SHORT STORY/POETRY

by artist:4-5, 30-31 elena gallota6-7, 32 asrul dwi8 adara sánchez10 robert almeida11 hashkan shafaati12 raquel fukuda13 casey feldman13 helen burnley14-17 jayanti seiler19 haralds filipovs19 andrea lopez23 philippe debongnie24 rachel fallas25 valentina grajales26 burak canpolat 28 zach castedo29 marco puccini

by author:18 scott mccloskey20-22 wes kline27 jenny ge

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UNTITLED : ELENA GALLOTTA

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UNTITLED : ELENA GALLOTTA

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(THIS PAGE AND OPPOSITE) THE LONER’S ROOM : ASRUL DWI

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EGO BRUISE : ADARA SÁNCHEZ

I feel like "I" is a word too much in my vocabulary;I can't stop saying itor thinking itI am I think I know I want.Look at how I can't stop saying it.Okay,"there is a certain person"who thinks too much of herself;her id is so large it blocks out the sunand all the tiny people depending on it.

GENERATION (ANOTHER WORD FOR SELF) : ANONYMOUS

THIS PAGE

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BLACK AS COAL : ROBERT ALMEIDA

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UNTITLED : ASHKAN SHAFAATI

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FROM THE SERIES “MY LITTLE WONDERLAND” : RAQUEL FUKUDA

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RELIGIOUS IDENTITY : CASEY FELDMAN

CONTEMPLATION : HELEN BURNLEY

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This 3-year series of photographs signifies a hybridized adult perspective of childhood that hinges on the mystical and the surreal. I use photography as an extension of the inventiveness and curiosity that was such a powerful reality for me at that time. The thematic framework for the images evolved through a process of interviews and collaborations that allowed me to join in an expressive dialogue with children as they experimented with role development through play and fantasy. With the advent of adolescence comes tremendous pressure for role conformity verses an equally powerful need to establish a unique identity. Thus, my work with children between the ages of 4-15 pivots upon my interest in representing the child’s sustainable imaginative presence despite the impressionable stages of adolescence. The luminous large-scale color photographs play up the façade of a commoditized childhood; an archetype of mass media that threatens to permeate it. My intensions were to utilize the vehicle of photography to celebrate subtle details and intricate gestures by subverting strategies used in media culture that are capable of extinguishing valuable characteristics of youth.

interview with jayanti seilerAs soon as I saw Jayanti Seiler’s series entitled “Environs” in my inbox, I fell in love with her rich, whimsical images. I just had to ask Jayanti, an MFA Candidate in Photography at the University of Florida, about her the making of these fantastic, thoughtful photographs.

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What relevance does this series have to your life? Any direct inspiration from memories or daydreams?

I was extremely imaginative and inventive as a child which played a huge part in my daily life. I am interested in a time when fantasy seemed so real and I am inspired by my own memories of that. Imagining myself as numerous characters in a natural environment was endlessly entertaining. I was also very influenced by movies, such as, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal and Legend.

What is it like to work with kids? Do they take direction well? Are the children you photograph those that you know, or do you have to seek out models?

Children are incredibly fascinating natural and candid performers. I am not only interested in how easily they forget they are in front of the camera, but I also how uninhibited and unselfconscious they are unlike adults. That’s a characteristic that I miss. They also have an innate sense about interpreting direction. When I set up a shot it’s only a matter of time before they are absorbed in what’s around them. I only need to direct them slightly, they seem to know pretty quickly how to be natural even though they are in front of the camera. I photograph a combination of children that I know, but I mostly work with people that I have just met. I send flyers out to schools and people I know in the community spread the word about my project. I have a had great luck, many of the families and their children love participating in photographs that celebrate imagination.

Interview continued on pg. 16

Images displayed:Opposite page:“Cactus”

This page, from top:“Blue Room”“Snare”“Stigmata”

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> Continued from pg. 15

Please describe, from ideation to post-processing, your image-making process.

My image making process is very intuitive in the beginning. I might see an image in daily life that inspires me, something subtle like a gesture or small exchange between people. I also get ideas for a location when I see natural scenes that possesses some sort of energy, drama or presence. But more often I like to get ideas from people’s familiar surroundings at their homes where they are most comfortable. When I meet with a family I show them my photographs and explain what interests me about imagination. I also talk to the children about their ideas, what games they play outdoors and what dreams they have. We collaborate on ideas and then I set up lights and my medium or large format camera. I give the children simple directions on where to go within a scene or what they might try. Then I have them interact with some element in the location and when their gestures appeal to me I ask them to hold still or recreate them. I usually shoot for several hours which allows the models to relax into the role and often something more revealing immerges in their body language.

The shadow in the werewolf image—is this something you planned ahead of time, or was it a spur-of-the-moment idea?

A large part of my process comes after the images are made with the camera. For instance, I often composite several negatives in the computer to give the images an element of the fantastical. The shadow in the “Werewolves” image came to me later when I was looking at images together. I decided to add the shadow digitally from another image in the shoot to reveal an aspect of the children’s imaginative fantasy world.

interview with jayanti seiler

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How do you find the settings that you use in your photography? Does the land inspire the image, or do you look for an area that fits the concept?

The settings are typically in or around the homes of the models or I find particularly interesting locations that I will revisit and use several times. It’s usually a place where nature stands in as a metaphor for inner turmoil experienced in adolescence or something that symbolizes what I like to think thresholds into another world would look like. I want the objects and places in the images to relate to the ways imagination exists through the everyday for a child. ◊

Many thanks to Jayanti Seiler for answering my questions. If you enjoyed Jayanti’s work, you may find more at her website, jayantiseilerphotography.com

Images displayed:Opposite page:

This page, from top:“Werewolves”“Myakka”“Dragonfly”

“Jialu”“My Sister”

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Womenshould comewithinstructionsprinted on theirbodies, a preambleto the text which follows.Certain your secrettext –your “Fragile,”or “This end up”is written in the fine printimprinted on your skin,the body’s naturalparchment,I explore its terrain.The bumps and ridges, smoothpastures,and firm hillocksspeak volumesto meas bird song,lovelybut incomprehensible.I study your script,committing to memorythe symphony of markingsduring our variouspassion plays.Even amid the intermissionof acts – the restof our lives –I steal glanceswhile watching moviesor eating dinneror reading(how your eyes are intenton the page and yourbreathing is slowand unlabored,a perfect stillness,the calm of an autumnlake)or sleeping(how the muted pink of the Venetians

color the light upon your skinand your beauty as sunlightflashes like a glareon the serene lake).In this breathing time of sleepI try to decipher yourcutaneous textas a newly blind manacquainting himself with Brailleor as a cartographer,mapping out meaningalong your epidermis,this organ of misinterpretations,joints and bends inflameddue to weatheror malaiseuntil finally, at last,I am on the crestof understanding.Alas,a fleeting hopebecause in onemonth’s time,your Keratinized scriptsloughs off,rejuvenates,begins anewand rewrites itself,another drafton its wayto the illusoryfinal.Taking a cuefromMacLeish,I accept myignorance:Women should not meanBut be.I realize:Women are textsand most menare illiterate.

“cutaneous text” scott mcCloskey

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LATVIAN IDENTITY : HARALDS FILIPOVS

UNTITLED : ANDREA LOPEZ

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untitled fiction wes kline

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Neighbors

1. The skulls of men are several microns thicker than those of women, as are their bones.

2. They are at essence inverted birds, dense, flightless and clumsy.

3. We could wink at the stupidity and brutality of the object.

4. Into the surge of the sea on the rocks, the lizards rush headlong.

5. The clothes are gone at this time of night; there is no material for us to touch. We hope to kill our neighbor, marry his son, eat his cattle, drink his blood, and vomit in the bed of his parents. But we are unable to fix any point, only continuous points.

6. Our neighbor's tomato grows on its vine. It has no understanding of any one thing surrounding it, yet it moves into space freely. Our neighbor plucks the fruit, moistens his lips and empties his bowels. To his mind, his force is not abstract, or deferential, but open and secure. Our neighborpictures his daughter, and knows, from this picture, that he possesses her.

8. Our neighbor opens his cupboard, finding it much as he expected it.

Various micro fictions, around and on the idea of an ontology of Character, performing anidentity whose voice it is, as Maurice Blanchot wrote, “to keep watch over absent meaning.”

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2.

Garbage Men

Two guys, garbage men, grew tired of the language that they had been taught, and invented a new language. This in itself is unremarkable, and happens frequently. But this language, modeled on the trash compactor, was a compact language, fitting neatly into the spaces of words and letters in the old language. It was a model of efficiency, although it had to be spoken and written along with the old language, being dependent on the spacings. That was it's only flaw, really, if you believe doubling is a flaw. They couldn't think of a catchy name, and it never caught on.

4.

A Stretch

There she sat beside the cabinet, the tooth angling abruptly. An exclamation or yell built up inside her, but it was unreasonable. However, later there were comments such as: I will not miss this tooth. Her hand touched the humid edge of the furniture while she commented. I am a young woman still, so there is plenty of time for more.

The husband’s dog growled attempting to debone. The dog’s teeth were less yellow than a month ago, as new food had been bought. This had been his surprise plan, to change the food. It was unnerving to come home and find a food that was not the normal food; it was now a food that cleaned gums. The cabinet had also been his, some relative unloading old pieces on us, she had said, as a sort of aside. You’ll come to like it here, he assured her, knowing that was not the case. But what love is toothless or silent?

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The Baby

He could not imagine the baby peeing in the mouth. That’s not something I should be thinking, he exclaimed but with a small sound. This exclamation did not adjust the tautness. There was no imagined play at rest here, this was for a real something. It is difficult to see the baby. As a metaphor, he remarked to her, but she was too angry to drop the lip into a new shape.

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6.

The Pit

What was that she was dragging? The pit was too close for anything good. Her black cap wasfringed with sweat; the light did not catch it. We followed on her footsteps. On the counter some errant cardboard rested ahead of its use. Our hands felt groupings of one or the other, as the room was blackened to honor the defeat. We congratulated ourselves on our economy, so unsure up until this moment.

untitled fiction, contd wes kline

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Breadth

This part has no one object to its own. This other has a cat, warm and full of imagined feeling. We say ‘imagined’ for the sake of our futures. So how small could this part make itself, he thought. There was an unconscious person laying there who could tell some things about the way it was made, although they were also barely there. There was, in fact, a fake part to him, more than one even. This part was not broken, but was gilt.Well, in his head it was. The other woman walked onto the scene and took stock. There were so many parts that she was unable to count them all, although some were sure to prove unreal. The varied pieces came together in an instant. There she heard some sound like pouncing. Oh! How that could be! Which part was it moving with its paw?

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SELF PORTRAIT : PHILIPPE DEBONGNIE

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EMOTIONAL WEAPONRY : RACHEL FALLAS

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L’HISTOIREDUPRINTEMPS : VALENTINA GRAJALES

“I created this piece while I was in Paris. I started the image on my first day at the studio, which was within my first week in Paris. It was winter and imagery is actually what I could see outside of the studio in an old french courtyard. During the whole semester I worked on different stages of the plate in correlation with my experience as well as the transition of climate and life in the city. The image starts with the beginning of spring and it finishes with the end of spring and the start of summer.” — VALENTINA GRAJALES

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CLOCKWISE, FROM TOP LEFT:

APPLE AND EVELONGING IN THE END OF THE WAYTHE CONTRABASSGOODBYE

unthemed work: burak canpolat

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Listlessly, I poured the tea

Waiting for someone to place a cup underneath

And catch me

It didn't have to be a bucket or anything

I would've settled for a spoon

As long as there was enough room

For me to explain what was in the bitter tea

I caught your eye

Or rather, you caught mine

And I held on

For a moment, you understood

(Or so I like to believe)

Because you unfolded

Opening up your blank pages to save me from being burned

By my own hot tea

Vainly trying to hold it

But instead, you soaked it up, though it tattered your edges

And guilt salted my tea for hurting you

But you told me it would dry

And reassured, I continued to pour out my misery

To a passerby

The scene must've looked disheartening

The teapot on her side

The book, drowning in the teapot's mind

But what I saw was

Sacrifice

And two friends sharing their stories

Over a sweetened cup of tea

“the teapot and the book” jenny ge

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MOVING BY THE EARTH BEING DISPLACED UNDER ONE’S FEET : ZACH CASTEDO

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unthemed work: marco pucciniCLOCKWISE, FROM TOP LEFT:

INVERSONEVE ALTAQUADROTRAMA DI PESCE

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UNTITLED : ELENA GALLOTTA

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UNTITLED : ELENA GALLOTTA

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All I am holding

is a pen or a paintbrush,

but I feel like I'm supposed to

re-create the Great Wall of China,

only bigger and better and with,

ya know, more pizazz?

I feel like Saul, I came in chosen

and somewhere along the line

my faith was shaken

and I built an altar

the size of a computer screen

and I sat, reflecting myself away

from my worries and potentials

until the whole world,

whose first name is Samuel,

told me I'd missed my chance.

TO BECOME : ASRUL DWI

EVERYONE ELSE IS A DAVID ANONYMOUS

THIS PAGE

OPPOSITE PAGE

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BELGIUMPhilippe Debongniehttp://philippedebongnie.be

BRAZILRaquel Fukudawww.rincondelpulse.blogspot.com

CANADAJenny Ge

ENGLANDHelen Burnleywww.creativechaosart.com

GUATEMALAAndrea Lópezhttp://www.wireddotcom.com

INDONESIAAsrul Dwihttp://thelonerimages.deviantart.com

ITALYMarco Puccinihttp://marcopuccini.blogspot.com

IRANAshkan Shafaatihttp://www.behance.net/ashkan

IRELANDElena Gallottawww.elenagallotta.comhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/mercoledinero

LATVIAHaralds Filipovshttp://haraldsfil.wordpress.com

SPAINAdara Sánchez Anguianohttp://www.flickr.com/imop

TURKEYBurak Canpolathttp://www.dec85.com

UNITED STATESRobert Almeida

Zach Castedohttp://apollozc.deviantart.com

Rachel Fallas

Casey Feldmanhttp://flickr.com/photos/caseyfeldman

Wes Klinehttp://www.weskline.net

Scott McCloskeyhttp://anticcomposition.blogspot.com

Jayanti Seilerwww.jayantiseilerphotography.com

the contributors

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next issue: call for entries

visual art requirements literary requirements300 DPI images only!

Accepted art forms: EVERYTHING. Drawing, painting, photography, design, sculpture, etc.

-up to 10 images per entrant-horizontal images: 6+ inches across-vertical images: 3+ inches across-include name, country, and URL

mail to: egobruisemag@gmail.com

Accepted art forms: short fiction, non-fiction, poetry, anything that happens to have words

-word limit: 2,000 words-include name, country, and URL

mail to: egobruisemag@gmail.com

due date: march 31, 2010Note: Submitting your work to Ego Bruise grants the magazine the right to publish your work (credited to you, of course!) in an electronic/PDF format, as well as a print version available for purchase. Unfortunately, contributors will not be compensated as the electronic version will be free of charge (print is only if you’d like a physical copy). I will not use your work in any other publications except Issue 3 of Ego Bruise.

next theme: ridiculous.Just the most ridiculous thing you can think of. My friends have generated a list of possible ideas:

-an animal that rhymes with squicken -butts! -a family of shnoodles -Swiss cheese architecture -animals dressed as humans -protecting one’s Cadbury eggs, like a mother hen