www.p ra c t i c a l -­‐ t h i nk i ng . comThink Different, Think PracticalPractical Thinking Group

Effective    Relationships  with  

Stakeholders

Agnieszka  Gasperini,  PMP  -­‐  SDI  Facilitator  Managing  Director  EMEA

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AGNIESZKA    GASPERINI,    COACH,  MENTOR  AND  SDI  FACILITATOR

• 17  years  experience  in  multi-­‐international  projects  • Master  in  Project  Management  in  George  Washington  

University  and  Master  in  Economics  at  the  University  of  Warsaw  

• Large  experience  as  Project  Manager,  Coach  and  Trainer  /  Speaker  in  Project  Management  and  Interpersonal  Skills  

• Large  experience  in  Telecom,  Financial  Services,  Private  and  Public  Sectors    

• Managing  Director  for  EMEA  at  Practical  Thinking  Group    • Recipient  of  the  “PMI  Distinguished  Contribution  

Award”  in  2012    • Founding  member  of  PMI  Poland  Chapter  (2002),  Part  of  

PMI  Global  -­‐  BVAC  (Board  Volunteer  Advisory  Committee)  and  Regional  Mentor  for  PMI  Central  Europe    

• Recognized  speaker  at  international  events  in  Europe,  Asia  Pacific  and  America  

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The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to

get along with people.

Theodore Roosevelt

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The strength of a project is determined by the quality of the relationships….

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UNDERSTAND  STAKEHOLDERS

• Who  are  our  key  stakeholders?  

• What  motivations  do  we  think  they  have?  

• What  types  of  behavior  will  they  be  looking  from  us?  

• How  to  communicate  to  stakeholders?  

• What  may  you  need  to  do  differently  in  order  to  meet  their  requirements?

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ELIAS  H.  PORTER1914-­‐1987

• Prominent  Psychologist  • Founder  of  Personal  Strengths  

Publishing  • Developer  of  Relationship  Awareness  

Theory  • Author  of  the  Strength  Deployment  

Inventory  • Blue  (Altruistic-­‐Nurturing)

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“The more a personality theory can be for a person rather than about a person the better it will serve that

person”

Elias H.Porter, Ph.D

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This  theory  is  not  about  people… …..  it  is  for  people!    -­‐  paraphrased  from  Dr.  Porter

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RELATIONSHIP  AWARENESS®

When  things  are  going  well During  conflict

A theory of relationships based on motivation under two conditions:

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THE  FOUR  PREMISES  OF  THE  RELATIONSHIP  AWARENESS  THEORY®  

1st  Premise 2nd  Premise 3rd  Premise 4th  Premise

Behavior  is  driven  by  

motivation  to  achieve  self-­‐

worth

Motivation  changes  in  conflict

Strenghts,  when  overdone  or  

misaplied,  can  be  perceived  as  weaknesses

Personal  filters  influence  

perceptions  of  self  and  others

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THE  UNIVERSAL  MOTIVATION

Every  person  wants  to    experience  a  sense  of  self-­‐worth  

• Self-­‐worth  can  come  from:  –  One’s  self  –  being  valued  by  yourself  –  Others  –  being  valued  by  others  

• …for  the  things  for  which  you  want  to  be  valued

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BEHAVIOR  VS.  MOTIVATION

Behavior:    • Things  that  people  do    • Change  according  to  time,  experience,  

context  

Motivation:    • The  reasons  for  using  a  behavior    • Inherent  and  permanent  –  does  not  

change

1st  Premise

Behavior  is  driven  by  

motivation  to  achieve  self-­‐

worth

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WHY  DO  PEOPLE  BEHAVE  THE  WAY  THEY  DO?

Satisfier Goal

Behavior

Want Motive

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THE  SEVEN  MVS  REGIONS

BlueRed-­‐Blue

Red

Red-­‐Green

Green

Blue-­‐Green

Hub

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BLUE  (ALTRUISTIC  –  NURTURING)Concern  for  the  protection,   growth  and  welfare  of  others▪ Being  open  and  responsive  to  the  needs  of  others

▪ Seeking  ways  to  bring  help  to  others

▪ Trying  to  make  life  easier  for  others  

▪ Trying  to  avoid  being   a  burden  to  others

▪ Ensuring  others  reach  their  potential

▪ Ensuring  others  are  valued ▪ Defending  the  rights  of  others

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RED  (ASSERTIVE  –  DIRECTING)

▪ Competing  for  authority,  responsibility  and  positions  of  leadership

▪ Exercising  persuasion ▪ Being  alert  to  opportunity   ▪ Claiming  the  right  to  earned  rewards    

▪ Accepting  challenges ▪ Accepting  risk-­‐taking  as  necessary  and  desirable

▪ Demonstrating  competitiveness

• Concern  for  task  accomplishment  • Concern  for  organization  of  people,  

time,  money  and  any  other  resources  to  achieve  desired  results

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GREEN  (ANALYTIC-­‐AUTONOMIZING)  • Concern  for  assurance  that  things  have  

been  properly  thought  out      • Concern  for  meaningful  order  being  

established  and  maintained      • Concern  for  individualism,  self-­‐reliance  &  

self-­‐dependence▪ Being  objective ▪ Being  right ▪ Being  principled ▪ Being  in  control  of  emotions ▪ Being  practical ▪ Being  cautious  and  thorough ▪ Being  fair ▪ Being  resolute ▪ Being  serious ▪ Being  their  own  “judge  and  jury”  Being  their  own  person

▪ Thinking  things  through  before  acting

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HUB  (FLEXIBLE–  COHERING)• Concern  for  flexibility    • Concern  for  the  welfare  of  the  group  • Concern  for  the  members  of  the  group  

and  for  belonging  in  the  group

▪ Being  curious  about  what  others  think  and  feel,  open  minded  and  willing  to  adapt

▪ Experiments  with  different  ways  of  acting

▪ Proud  to  be  a  “member”

▪ Likes  to  know  a  lot  of  people ▪ Likes  to  be  known  by  a  lot  of  people

▪ Likes  to  be  known  as  flexible

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RED  –  BLUE  (ASSERTIVE  –  NURTUTING)• Concern  for  the  protection,  growth  

and  welfare  of  others  through  task  accomplishment  and  leadership

▪ Actively  seeking  opportunities  to  help  others

▪ Persuading  others  to  ensure  maximum  growth  and  development  of  others

▪ Being  open  to  proposals  for  creating  welfare  and  security  for  others

▪ Creating  enthusiasm  and  support  in  tackling  obstacles  to  success

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RED  –  GREEN  (JUDICIOUS    -­‐  COMPETING)• Concern  for  intelligent  

assertiveness,  justice,  leadership,  order,  and  fairness  in  competition

▪ Providing  rational  leadership  that  can  assess  risks  and  opportunities

▪ Being  decisive  and  proactive  when  all  the  facts  are  in

▪ Challenging  opposition  through  thoughtful  process  and  strategy

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BLUE  –  GREEN    (CAUTIOUS  –  SUPPORTING)

• Concern  for  affirming  and  developing  self-­‐sufficiency  in  self  and  others,  

• Concern  for  thoughtful  helpfulness  with  regard  for  justice

▪ Building  effective  processes  and  resources  to  protect  or  enhance  welfare  of  others

▪ Supporting  activities  that  lead  to  growth

▪ Offering  assistance  for  greater  self-­‐sufficiency  and  independence

▪ Fighting  for  principles  that  are  fair

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2nd  Premise

Motivation  changes  in  conflict

WHAT  IS  CONFLICT?  

• Conflict  is  a  reaction  to  a  perceived   threat  to  self-­‐worth  

• When  we  are  in  conlict,  we  experience  motivational  changes  in  conflict,  which  drive  changes  in  behavior

People  are  willing  to  go  into  conflict  

about  things  that  are  important  to  them. (conflict  triggers)

When  we  see  conflict  in  other  people,  we  can  discover  what  is  important  to  them.

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FOCUS  DURING  CONFLICT  

Stage  1 Focus  on  self,  problem  and  other

Stage  2 Focus  on  self  and  problem

Stage  3 Focus  on  self

Problem

Problem

Problem

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THE  DOT    VS.  THE  ARROWHEAD

Motivational  Value   SYSTEM  (MVS)

3  types  of  motivation  working  TOGETHER

Conflict   SEQUENCE  (CS)

3  types  of  motivation  working  in  ORDER

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APPLYING  MVS  LANGUAGE

“Think like a wise man, but communicate in the language of the people”.

Yeats

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Applying  MVS  language  

• Communicate  in  your  own  language  

• The  power  of  Borrowing  

• Multiple  styles  simultaneously

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WORDS  THAT  YOU  SHOULD  USE  WITH  A  MVSBlue Red Green Hub

Support Do Guide ContributeFeel Act Think Adapt

Enable Delegate Tech ParticipateCare Dare Fair Share

Cooperate Compete Conserve CompromiseValues Opportunities Principles OpcionesFriend Partner Colleagues CompanionSense Important Specific AdjustHelp Payment Understand Use

Benefit Results Knowledge ApplyComfort Convince Analyze InterpretFriendly Positive Clear Flexible

Generous Reinforce Competent Aproppriate

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HOW  TO  COMMUNICATE  WITH  THE  MVS

BLUE  • Use  words  of  feelings  and  emotions  

to  express  yourself  • Communicate  with  facial  &  body  

language  • Call  people  by  their  names  

occasionally  • Explain  how  they  can  help  • Articulate  the  value  of  the  

relationship  

RED  • Use  short  sentences  • Give  the  headline  up  front  • Get  to  the  point  quickly  • Emphasize  action  and  results  • Demonstrate  energy,  enthusiasm  

and  confidence  • Use  words  “absolutely”  instead  of  

“maybe”  • Give  expected  deadlines

GREEN    • Provide  the  facts  • Provide  detail  and  demonstrate  your  knowledge  

and  competence  • Don’t  expect  a  rapid  response,  be  patient  • Give  them  time  to  think  and  ask  questions  • Give  information  in  a  rational,  structures  and  

sequential  way

HUB  • Provide  lots  of  information  so  that  they  can  

determine  an  appropriate  response  • Articulate  the  importance  of  their  support  

for  the  group  effort  • Show  how  others  would  be  impacted  • Provide  options  and  be  willing  to  listen  to  

options  

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Q&A

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CONTACT  INFORMATION

Agnieszka  Gasperini,  PMP  

Aga.gasperini@practical-­‐thinking.com    

LinkedIn:  www.linkedin.com/in/agasperini    

UK:  +44  (20)  3239.1285  

Italy:  +39  (347)  398.8847  

Poland:  +48  (69)  649.9996  

USA:  +1  (305)  851.2579