Effective Communication Skills for the Family Resource Centers · 2019-11-21 · MHPE Volunteer Resource –Tab 7 Skills training: Communication skills Listening Facts •We think

MHPE Volunteer Resource – Tab 7

Skills training: Communication skills

Effective

Communication Skills

for the

Family Resource CentersKaren Varano

Brenda Smith

Jessica Feldman





ObjectivesTo consider verbal and non-verbal communication

methods

To understand and practise effective listening skills

To communicate in clear, respectful and non-

judgemental ways

To know when to seek advice



What is “Communication”?



Why is communication important?

• Important for expressing information, behaviour

and our feelings and thoughts.

• Helps to understand and respond to other’s

feelings, thoughts, knowledge and behaviour.



Messag

e

Blah, Blah,

Blah, Blah…



It’s a lot of work to

send a clear

message!

Encoding

the

Message

words, facial

expressions,

gestures, tone of

voice, body language,

etc…



Perceptual

Screens

Messag

eMessag

e

Experience

Values

Beliefs

Needs

Experience

Values

Beliefs

Needs



Interference

or Noise

Messag

e

Mess



Blah, Blah,

Blah, Blah…

So you

sound like

you’re feeling

pretty blah…

Feedback Loop



Verbal communication

• Use of words, numbers and symbols.

• Tone, pitch, quality and rate of speech carries

more weight than the words

• The latter convey the emotions and meaning,

regardless of the content of the message.



Non-verbal communication

• Facial expressions

• Eye contact, pupil dilation

• Gestures

• Body language and posture

• Proximity and touch

Most of our communication is non-verbal

(which is missing in emails and tweets)



Facial expressions

Your face can show many feelings



Eye contact

• Maintaining appropriate eye contact when

speaking with others helps communication



Gestures

• Also convey meanings

• Be mindful of cultural

differences

Waving Making a fist Thumbs up

Pointing Nodding Yawning



Body language (kinesics)

• A great deal of your (true) message can be

communicated by your body use and posture

• To work effectively with others

you need to read body

language and ensure you

are not conveying the

wrong signals


Skills training: Communication skillsBarriers to Effective Communication

Barriers to

effective

communication

Language

NoiseTime

DistractionsOther people

Put downsToo many questions

Distance

Discomfort

with the topic

Disability

Lack of interest



Communication barriers

• Inattention

• Poor expression

• Premature evaluation

• Emotions

• Inconsistency

• Physical barriers

• Insufficient warning

• Individual differences

• Lack of feedback

• Inference

• Insecurity



People change

What we know of other people is only our memory

of the moments during which we knew them. And

they have changed since then… at every meeting

we are meeting a stranger.

T.S. Eliot, The Cocktail Party



Active listening

• Letting a person know you have heard them,

both literally and emotionally

• Encourages further discussion and checks

accuracy of message

• Active listening expresses empathy



Optimal listening



S.O.L.E.R.

• Sit/Stand Squarely in relation to the person

• Open position

• Lean slightly towards the person

• Eye contact

• Relax



Effective MHPE communication

• Prepare: Review topic and previous contact

• Inquire: Ask questions, stay alert, check

• Listen actively: Paraphrase, feed back, listen

‘between the lines’

• Evaluate: Draw conclusions, what can you do

better, plan for next time

© Commonwealth of Australia 2015





Bad listening• Makes little eye contact

• Makes distracting movements

• Faces away from speaker

• Has a closed posture (ex.: arms crossed)

• Interrupts speaker

• Does too many other things while listening

• Has a flat affect, speaks in a monotone, gives

few signals of interest

• What are other examples of a bad listener?





Listening vs. Hearing



Listening Facts

• We think 7 times faster than we speak.– So..when we are listening, there is plenty of time for our

minds to wander.

• Hearing is not the same as listening. What’s the difference?– Hearing is merely using your ears to acknowledge

sounds.

– Listening means understanding the other person’s point of view.

– You’re processing information based on your own experiences, while listening to someone who is talking based on their experiences.


Skills training: Communication skillsTYPES OF LISTENERS:

The Sleeper:

• has no intention of listening

• Is irritated if there are disturbances

• Eyes are closed as he sits, or

reclines in his seat.

• Seems bored, annoyed….



The Tiger:

• Is ready to pounce on everything what speaker says

• Is occupied with looking for trouble or inconsistencies in the person’s message

• Waiting to catch the person in a lie

• Has a crouching position, leaning forward and eyes flashing



Eager Beaver:

• keeps smiling and nodding

• Eyes have a strange, out of focus appearance

• Energies are directed to impress the speaker with what a good listener he or she is.

• Wants to get the meeting over with



The Shy, Bewildered:

• Has never quite found out what the person is all about

• Pained, quizzical glances from him are a constant reminder to the speaker that he has to go slowly, repeating and reinforcing information.

• Generally confused



The Frowner:

• His forehead has a perpetual furrow

• He seems to be always on the verge of a question

• His expression is an accurate reflection of His/her state of mind, not the speakers state of mind



The Relaxed:

• Stares fixedly at some object or

person

• There is little tension in them

• There are no visible means of

reading them

• Never seems to react to anything

• Is slouching in his/her seat



The Busy Bee:

• Listens while writing notes, talking

to neighbors, combing hair, etc.

• Trying to multitask like answer

emails or talking to two people at

the same time

• Will force the speaker to try various

devices to capture their attention



Two eared listener:

• Listens with ears and mind

• Actively participates

• Reacts objectively

• Decodes and evaluates carefully

• Eagerness is reflected in body posture

• Face reflects agreement, disagreement, interest, question, approval resulting from thoughtful, objective consideration of messages.

• Always appears glad to see and to talk to the person


Skills training: Communication skillsListening Requires

Attention



Attending Skills



Active Listening and Effective Speaking

Elements are the Same

• Words

• Tone of Voice

• Pitch

• Pace

• Eye Contact

• Body Position

• Gestures

• Facial Expression



Words

• Is the message clear and concise?

• What are the words alone trying to say?



• The tone of voice reflects the person’s emotional state.

• Does it sound hostile or nervous, or does it sound friendly, relaxed and sincere?

• Does it match the meaning of the words?

– When there are mixed messages, the tone of voice reflects the true meaning.

Tone of Voice



Pitch

• A lower pitch voice signifies

confidence.

• A high pitched voice can be a

sign of:

–Nervousness

–Fear

–Anxiety



Eye Contact • Good eye contact:

– Signifies honesty and

confidence

– Shows respect

– Makes others feel

important

– Creates positive

relationship

• Avoiding eye contact can

make you seem:

– Sneaky

– Guilty

– Bashful

– Frightened



Pace

• People vary in the speed of their

speech.

• Try to match the other person’s pace.

– The other person will feel more

comfortable and connected.



Body Language

• Body language amounts to a 55% impact on the message you are trying to communicate.

• Without body language, conversations would be boring and less effective.

• If a person’s body language and words don’t match, you may be getting mixed messages.



How You Can Have Good Body Position

• Stand or sit at an angle toward the other person.– Standing side by side may

disconnect you from your partner.

– Standing directly face to face may seem confrontational.

• Stand or sit at the same eye level.

• Use good posture, as it reflects your confidence.





Build your “techtiquette”



Gestures• Pay attention to the gestures of the speaker.

• Gesturing with your hands adds life and meaning to your message.

• When not gesturing:– Don’t cross your arms.

– Don’t play with your clothing, jewelry or pencils.

– Simply let your arms be relaxed at your sides.



Facial Expression• You can learn a lot

by observing a

person’s facial

expression.

– Tension can be

seen through a

tight lipped mouth.

– Rolling eyes and disapproving

looks reflect negative thoughts.

– When a face lights up, it

creates positive energy.



Squarely Face the Person

Open Body Position

Lean Forward Slightly

Eye Contact

Relax

S

O

L

E

R





A way of listening and

responding to another person

that improves mutual

understanding

Active

Listening



Active

ListeningStarts with

a Particular

Attitude…





Empathetic Listening

Sincere attempt to understand to other person

Pays attention to body language, tone of voice, emotional sense

Imagines things from the speaker’s point of view



It is easy to know when you are

being empathic because:

• Your body language and tone match

• Your tone and your feelings match

• You are focused on what your partner is saying and meaning.



We listen for two

specific things

Active

Listening





Information



Styles of Responding to Others



Encouraging

• Purpose– To convey interest.

– To encourage the other person to keep talking.

• Action– Don’t agree or disagree.

– Use neutral words.

– Use varying voice intonations.

• Example – “That’s really interesting. Can you tell me more…?”



Summarizing

• Purpose

– To review progress.

– To pull together important ideas and facts.

– To establish a basis for further discussion.

• Action

– Restate major ideas expressed, including feelings.

• Example

– “These seem to be the main ideas you’ve expressed that are important to you…”



Clarifying

• Purpose – To help you clarify what is said.– To get more information.– To help the speaker see other points of view.

• Action– Ask questions.– Restate wrong interpretation to force the speaker to

explain further.

• Example– “When did this happen?”– “Do I have this right? You believe your son is unhappy

because he wishes he had more friends?”



Restating

• Purpose – To show you are listening and understanding what is

being said.

– To help the speaker see other points of view.

• Action– Restate basic ideas and facts.

• Example– “So you would like your friends to include you at

recess, is that right?”



Validating

• Purpose

– To acknowledge the worthiness of the other

person.

• Action

– Acknowledge the value of their issues and

feelings.

– Show appreciation for their efforts and

actions.

• Example

– “I truly appreciate your willingness to come in



Why Not “Why”?

• What does it feel like when someone asks you

why you did something?

• The word “Why” can feel accusatory to the

client.

• It unintentionally communicates disapproval buy

the staff person.

• What are other ways to elicit the information

without using the word “Why”?

– “Why didn’t you complete the required housing

documentation?

– “What do you think is getting in the way of completing



Open Ended Questions

• How

• Tell Me About

• Describe

• What

Closed Ended Questions

• Will/Would/Why

• Are/Do

• When



What Did You Do Well?

What Was Challenging?



Monitoring

Our

Listening

Level

11



What is Communication?

• What does it mean to you?

• The process of communication is what allows

us to interact with other people; without it, we

would be unable to share knowledge or

experiences with anything outside of ourselves.

Common forms of communication include

speaking, writing, gestures, touch and

broadcasting.• Wikipedia definition



Personal Presentation

• Does personal presentation make a difference to

the way we are perceived?

• Does it matter?

• What can we do about it - do we have to look

bland and boring?

• What if our organisation has a dress code?



The Communication Equation

• What you hear• Tone of voice

• Vocal clarity

• Verbal expressiveness 40% of the message

• What you see or feel• Facial expression

• Dress and grooming

• Posture

• Eye contact

• Touch

• Gesture 50% of the message

• WORDS … 10% of the message!



Understanding Communication

• We are going to consider:

• The 2-Way communication process

• Effective communication skills

• Barriers to effective communication



Effective Communication Skills

Effective

Communication skills

Eye contact & visible mouth

Body language

Silence

Checking

for understanding

Smiling face

Summarising

what has been said

Encouragement

to continue

Some questions



The Art of Listening

• “If we were supposed to talk more than

listen, we would have been given two

mouths and one ear.”• Mark Twain



Listening Skills

• Active Listening

• Responding

• Paraphrasing

• Asking questions for clarification

• Mirroring the other person’s language



Responding

• Responses to check that your perceptions are

correct

• Responses to encourage further communication

• See handout for further ideas



Individual Differences

• What individual factors could affect the way a person “sends” or “receives” a message?

• Is gender/ age a factor?

• How can we adapt if :-

• we have a problem ourselves or

• the other person seems to have a problem?



Cultural Diversity

• What do we know about the communication

styles of different cultures?

• Consider verbal and non verbal, including dress

constraints, language difficulties, taboos.



Constraints on Communication

• Legal Obligations

• Anti Discrimination

• Privacy Laws

• Code of Conduct of Organisation

• Confidentiality and Gossip

• Seeking Advice



Objectives

To consider verbal and non-verbal communication

methods

To understand and practise effective listening skills

To communicate in clear, respectful and non-

judgemental ways

To know when to seek advice



Techniques

Learning the Micro-skills of

Motivational Interviewing



8

4

OARS

The OARS are skills that can be used by interviewers to help move clients through the process of change.

Open-ended questions

Affirmation

Reflective listening

Summarising



8

5

OARS: Open-ended questions

• “What are the good things about your substance use?” vs.

“Are there good things about using?”

• “Tell me about the not-so-good things about using” vs. “Are

there bad things about using?”

• “You seem to have some concerns about your substance

use. Tell me more about them.” vs. “Do you have concerns

about your substance use?”

• “What most concerns you about that?” vs. “Do you worry a

lot about using substances?”


Skills training: Communication skillsClosed Ended Questions…



Examples of Closed

Ended Questions

• Do you want to rent the apartment

you saw yesterday?

• Do you like your job?

• How can we restate these to be

ope-ended questions?



8

8

Tips for Asking Open Questions?

►How do you …..?

►What has been your experience with……?

►What is your opinion about …….?

►How do you feel about …….?

►When do you ………?

►Describe …..

►Tell me about …….

►What would happen if ……?



8

9

Open or Closed?

How can we make this questions more open?

►Do you need housing help?

►How many times have you been late with your rent?

►Are you satisfied with with your counseling?

►Do your kids do well in school?

►Do you need job readiness skills?

►Have you heard of our immigration services?

►Do you use medication?

►Do you have a sponsor?



Exercise

In groups of 3:

Client Worker

Observer

Speak for 4-5 minutes on a topic of

importance to you, for example:

something you are worried about,

something that is frustrating you, or

a difficult or scary experience you

had.

Practice your active listening

skills. Pay attention to your

attending skills. Use

paraphrasing, and clarifying

questions when necessary.

Pay careful attention to the

interaction, and be

prepared to give honest,

caring, and constructive

feedback to the Listener.


Skills training: Communication skillsMini Practice

Speaker

Speak for 1 minute on a

topic of importance to you,

for example: something

you are worried about or

something that is

frustrating you.

Listener

Paraphrase the

speaker making sure

to include both

content and feelings.

• Walk around the room, find a partner, decide who

is who, do the exercise

• Briefly discuss how well the listener paraphrased

the speaker

• Find a new partner

• Make sure you get a chance to play both roles



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2

OARS: Affirmation

• “Thanks for coming today.”

• “I appreciate that you are willing to talk to me about

your issues.”

• “You are obviously a resourceful person to have

coped with those difficulties.”

• “That’s a good idea.”

• “It’s hard to talk about....I really appreciate your

keeping on with this.”



The Difference between affirmation and praise



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4

OARS: Reflective listeningReflective listening is used to:

• Check out whether you really understood the client

• Highlight the client’s own motivation for change

• Steer the client towards a greater recognition of her or his

problems and concerns, and

• Reinforce statements indicating that the client is thinking

about change.



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5

Practising forming reflections

Complete the sentence, “One thing about myself I’d like to change is ________.”

• Divide into groups of three (one speaker, one listener, and one observer).

• Speaker talks for 5 minutes or so about the issue.

• Listener can only reflect.

• Observer checks to make sure no questions are asked – only reflections are made, which are statements.



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OARS: Summarise

Summarising is an important way of gathering

together what has already been said, making sure

you understood correctly, and preparing the client

to move on. Summarising is putting together a

group of reflections.




Skills training: Communication skillsBuild your “techtiquette”

• Emails• Use greetings, names,

salutations and signatures

• Omg – don’t eml like ur

15yo… lol :p

•Don’t use email for

emotionally laden topics

• Don’t reply all!





Personal phone etiquette Keep personal

calls private

Silence phone while in meetings

Stay off phones in meetings





• Professional phone etiquette

• Answering your phone

• Agency and Department

•Your name

• Leaving messages

• Your name, agency, number (2x),

why you’re calling



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Effective Communication Skills for the Family Resource Centers · 2019-11-21 · MHPE Volunteer Resource –Tab 7 Skills training: Communication skills Listening Facts •We think