e5 Feedback Exam 1

7/30/2019 e5 Feedback Exam 1

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E5 FEEDBACK EXPOSITORY ESSAY

Titles

________________________________________________________________________

Good.

OK, this title is good enough to catch your readers attention. Well done.

Good titles are important because they are usually the first thing readers

find in the text.

Regular.

Your title is OK; but Im sure you could come up with a better one. Good

titles are important because they are usually the first thing readers find inthe text. Please give it some more thought for next time. Try being a bit

more specific

Poor.

Im sorry to say that your title is quite poor. It does not quite catch the

readers attention. Good titles are important because they are usually the

first thing readers find in the text. Im sure you could have come up with

something better.

Format ____

__________________________________________________________________

Thank you very much for following instructions regarding format.

Please read instructions carefully next time. In the exam instructions youwere asked to write your essay as a Word document with the followingspecifications: Name and section, Double-spaced, Indented, Font size 12.

Introduction

__________________________________________________________________

Beginning with a preposition


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Falta esta parte------

Contextualization

Provide additional information here to contextualize the reader. You could

insert a footnote here.

Good.

Writing good introductions is difficult. Good introductions connect both the

reader and the text. A good introduction also serves as a tool to make the

reader want to read the text you have written. Your introduction is quite

good because it hooks the reader and invites him to stay focused on your

thesis statement. You have a clear thesis statement and clear controlling

ideas. I think you have done a good job here. Well done.

Regular.




weak because it does not hook the reader in a strong way. Your thesis

statement needs more strength here. What you have here is OK, but Im

sure you can come up with something better. You need to work on topic

sentence and controlling ideas.

Poor.




poor because it does not hook the reader in a strong way. Your thesis

statement needs major revision as well as the details provided so far. What

you have here is not enough. Your introduction is poor.

Body paragraphs

_______________________________________________________________

Structure and organization

You still need to work on the structure and organization of your body

paragraphs. Please take some time to read the information on the following

pages:

http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/paragraphs.html

http://www.bookrags.com/articles/4.html
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/paragraphs.htmlhttp://www.bookrags.com/articles/4.htmlhttp://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/paragraphs.htmlhttp://www.bookrags.com/articles/4.html


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http://lklivingston.tripod.com/essay/body.html

http://www.okc.cc.ok.us/svanschuyver/Susan/Susan/body.html

Making transitions

It is important to use proper transition words and phrases in your text

because these help the readr connect paragraphs and ideas as he or she

moves from one paragraph or idea to another. For information of how to use

transition words and phrases, please see URL:

. Another page with useful

information is URL:. I strongly

suggest that you take a good look at the information in both sources.

Grammar

_____________________________________________________________________

Adjectives and Adverbs

For detailed explanation on how to use Adjectives and adverbs, please see

URL:< http://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/adjAdv.asp>. Once you

have done this, you might want to take a quick online quiz on Adjectives

and Adverbs Please go to URL:< http://a4esl.org/q/h/9901/gc-advadj.html>

Articles

For detailed explanation on the use of articles, please see

URL: or p. 157 The of

Essentials of English.

As vs. Like

For detailed explanation on how to use As and Like, please see URL:.

Because vs. because of

For detailed explanation on how to use Because and Because of, please see

URL:< http://profknick.wordpress.com/2007/06/19/because-or-because-of/>

You can also try doing these online exercises: URL:

Between / Among
http://lklivingston.tripod.com/essay/body.htmlhttp://www.okc.cc.ok.us/svanschuyver/Susan/Susan/body.htmlhttp://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htmhttp://jc-schools.net/write/transition.htmhttp://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/adjAdv.asphttp://a4esl.org/q/h/9901/gc-advadj.htmlhttp://esl.about.com/od/thebasics/a/a_an_the.htmhttp://www.grammar.cl/Notes/Like_vs_As.htmhttp://profknick.wordpress.com/2007/06/19/because-or-because-of/http://www.usingenglish.com/quizzes/220.htmlhttp://lklivingston.tripod.com/essay/body.htmlhttp://www.okc.cc.ok.us/svanschuyver/Susan/Susan/body.htmlhttp://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htmhttp://jc-schools.net/write/transition.htmhttp://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/adjAdv.asphttp://a4esl.org/q/h/9901/gc-advadj.htmlhttp://esl.about.com/od/thebasics/a/a_an_the.htmhttp://www.grammar.cl/Notes/Like_vs_As.htmhttp://profknick.wordpress.com/2007/06/19/because-or-because-of/http://www.usingenglish.com/quizzes/220.html


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For detailed explanation on how to use the prepositions Between and

Among, please see < http://www.ehow.com/how_2104845_use-among-

between-correctly.html>

Contractions

__________________________________________________________________

Thank you very much for NOT USING contractions in the text. Bear in mind

that contractions should not be used in FORMAL academic texts.

Please avoid using contractions in formal academic texts. All contractions

must be written out of you paper, that is, you should write in full orexpanded form. Use contractions ONLY when you are quoting someone else

s words.

Do vs. Make

For detailed explanation on how to use Do and Make, please see

http://www.learnenglish.de/grammar/doormake.htm

Each other vs. One another

For detailed explanation on how to use Each other and One another, pleasesee < http://www.amoskwok.com/2008/10/each-other-vs-one-another.html>

Forms of OTHER

For information on how to use forms of other, please see

URL:

No vs. Not.For information on how to use No and Not, please see

URL:

Say vs. tell

For detailed explanation on how to use the words Say & Tell, please see

URL: or p. 407-

408 The of Essentials of English.

Word Order
http://www.ehow.com/how_2104845_use-among-between-correctly.htmlhttp://www.ehow.com/how_2104845_use-among-between-correctly.htmlhttp://www.learnenglish.de/grammar/doormake.htmhttp://www.amoskwok.com/2008/10/each-other-vs-one-another.htmlhttp://www.elanguage.com/searchtitled8e1.htmlhttp://leo.stcloudstate.edu/grammar/nonot.htmlhttp://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/cw-say-tell.htmhttp://www.ehow.com/how_2104845_use-among-between-correctly.htmlhttp://www.ehow.com/how_2104845_use-among-between-correctly.htmlhttp://www.learnenglish.de/grammar/doormake.htmhttp://www.amoskwok.com/2008/10/each-other-vs-one-another.htmlhttp://www.elanguage.com/searchtitled8e1.htmlhttp://leo.stcloudstate.edu/grammar/nonot.htmlhttp://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/cw-say-tell.htm


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For detailed explanation on word order in English sentences please see

URL:. After

reading the information on this page, you might want to take a quick online

quiz on word order Please go to < http://www.better-

english.com/grammar/wordorder.htm>.

Conclusion

____________________________________________________________________

Academic style

________________________________________________________________

You have to work hard in order to ensure that your essay is written in formal

academic style. This is quite difficult to attain at the beginning, but as you

progress as a writer, your style will improve. For important information on

Formal Academic Style, please see

URL:, URL: and URL:. The more you read about

this, the more aware you are whenever you engage in academic writing.

References

____________________________________________________________________

Thank you for including references in your paper. References are important

because they tell your reader several things, e.g. that you have done

extensive reading on the topic, that you are knowledgeable (as the result of

your abundant reading), etc. References may be used by readers to trackoriginal sources of information, to contextualize your text within a specific

vein of thought, etc. Not giving credit to the sources of ideas used in texts

may result in plagiarism.

Please see URL:

. Additional information available at URL:

Where are your references? References are important because they tell yourreader several things, e.g. that you have done extensive reading on the
http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/word-orderhttp://www.better-english.com/grammar/wordorder.htmhttp://www.better-english.com/grammar/wordorder.htmhttps://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/4_WritingSkills/03academicstyle.htmhttps://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/4_WritingSkills/03academicstyle.htmhttp://www2.elc.polyu.edu.hk/cill/eap/academicstyle.htmhttp://www.uefap.com/writing/feature/intro.htmhttp://osulibrary.orst.edu/instruction/tutorials/engage/cite/references.htmhttp://www.lib.berkeley.edu/instruct/guides/citations.htmlhttp://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/word-orderhttp://www.better-english.com/grammar/wordorder.htmhttp://www.better-english.com/grammar/wordorder.htmhttps://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/4_WritingSkills/03academicstyle.htmhttps://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/4_WritingSkills/03academicstyle.htmhttp://www2.elc.polyu.edu.hk/cill/eap/academicstyle.htmhttp://www.uefap.com/writing/feature/intro.htmhttp://osulibrary.orst.edu/instruction/tutorials/engage/cite/references.htmhttp://www.lib.berkeley.edu/instruct/guides/citations.html


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topic, that you are knowledgeable (as the result of your abundant reading),

etc. References may be used by readers to track original sources of

information, to contextualize your text within a specific vein of thought, etc.

Not giving credit to the sources of ideas used in texts may result in

plagiarism.

Please see URL:

. Additional information available at URL:
http://osulibrary.orst.edu/instruction/tutorials/engage/cite/references.htmhttp://www.lib.berkeley.edu/instruct/guides/citations.htmlhttp://osulibrary.orst.edu/instruction/tutorials/engage/cite/references.htmhttp://www.lib.berkeley.edu/instruct/guides/citations.html

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e5 Feedback Exam 1