Drama Triangle

�e College of

Functional KinesiologyTM Drama Triangle

8. A�ention seeking which comes from a very young, o�en wounded part of ourselves

Clients can o�en be in the drama triangle in their relationships and also with you the practitioner. Spot language like “it's not fair”, “I can't do it”, “I don't want to do it” which indicates they are playing in a corner of the triangle and asking you to play in an opposing corner.

1. Manipulation means never taking ownership, always blaming

6. Drama obscures the real issues

Rescuers get caught up in 'enabling'. �ey see themselves as good and have to learn to lean back. Doing too much for someone else is rationalised because “I care so much.”

�is is a useful way of looking at relationships and is something to show clients to help empower them to change a dynamic. It is based on the Drama Triangle, also known as the Karpman Triangle, which was developed by psychiatrist Steven Karpman in the in the early 1970's.

Common Reasons Behind the Triangle

2. It's all about creating con�ict & stirring it up in others

3. �e players lack empathy, are very self-absorbed in their own role of the moment

4. Pa�erns of the game prevent any real problem solving because the drama rules

5. Poor boundaries

7. Power and control which usually masks fear

9. �e game provides identity and �lls emptiness, because two people can jump around in all three roles to fuel the drama of manipulation

RescuersHelping professions (nurses, teachers, counsellors) all begin with favouring the Rescuer role.

Rescuers o�en believe 'I know what's best for them' and therefore disempower the other to make choices for themselves.

Victims can be easily manipulated. Victims can be very manipulative, particularly if they are operating on a “love me no ma�er what” basis.

Persecutors love power. �ere is a desperate need to be right at all costs.

Victims are always trying to remain blameless. Finding the bravery to look at your own part in creating problems can change and transform your life.

Victims

Persecutors

VICTIM

RESCUER PERSECUTOR

I’m Blameless

Denial

I’m Good I’m Right

How to Overcome the Drama Triangle

Drama Triangle

Assuming others are there to be an audience Realising what happens between people is unknown,

Manipulating others, which is a shell Using your heart and head together to be more

Negative Positive

Creating drama and chaos Solving problems

Dodging, de�ecting, and blaming others Taking on responsibilities

Denial/pretending Honestly facing painful situations

Making excuses and instigating bad boundaries Maintaining boundaries to have true respect for others

pretending it has nothing to do with you

Ignoring damage that has been done and Making amends and recognising consequences

Maintaining your illusions at all costs Having the courage to become more self-aware

Giving yourself too much respect (narcissists) Balancing both respect for others and yourself

or too li�le respect (martyrs)

Le�ing drama rule Le�ing integrity/character rule

“I know what's best for both of us” No one has a market on truth-it always lies in

between people

Creating doubt in the other person Seeing what hard truths the other person may

have to teach you

not orchestrated

�inking in simple terms of Right/Wrong, Good/Bad Recognising complexity

game that ends up hollow emotionally honest with others

Trying to have it both ways Facing sacri�ce

Taking the easy way Knowing the right thing to do is the hard thing to do

Manipulating/Controlling Negotiating

Monologue Dialogue

Short-term thinking Long-term thinking