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7/28/2019 Ds Relationship Maintenance
1/3
The Care and Maintenance of Master/slave Relationships
Introduction
Thanks to Viktor & DsF for inviting us
Feel free to ask questions
Hoping for lots of audience participation Really should be a panel discussion
My opinions only, they do not reflect on the group
This weeks opinions
catherine has not been given an assigned role, but she has been told she may
interject her thoughts and comments freely, as well as answer questions.
About the topic
We are not therapists
Not relationship counselors
Perception that D/s relationships tend to be short-lived
Might be true but
So are most vanilla relationships
Doesnt have to be that way
About us:
Names
Affiliations
DsF
MAsT
TES
LSM
NYFssF
D/s Brunch Bunch
How we met
Time together
Transition from internet to real life
Club-going
Change of focus to D/s and structure rather than S&M and play
Then married
Issues surrounding getting married
Sir Stephen
catherine
What contributes to longevity in a relationship?
First and foremost longevity needs to be a stated and agreed upon goal
Structure time and activities to achieve this goal
Communication
Initial D/s negotiation
Rules
Rituals
7/28/2019 Ds Relationship Maintenance
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Protocols
Create space for on-going communication
Example: weekly chats
Caring
Not necessarily romantic love
Care of and for property
Many ways to show caring:
Show appreciation for things well done as well as
Correction for things done poorly
Punishment for wrong-doing
Care of and for Owner
Give good service, whatever form the service takes:
Sexual
Bottoming
Food preparation
Bookkeeping
Chauffeuring
Take your reward from the service, not the praise, there should be no
expectation of praise.
Attention to the critical M/s elements of the relationship
Such as:
Structure
Dominance and submission
S&M play
S&M in our relationship
Humiliation
Face slapping
Needle play
Etc.
Takes work:
Keep the focus on them, keep them invigorated
We regularly review rituals, rules and protocols to see if they are still
fulfilling their purpose and giving us gratification. If not, we revise,add and delete.
Remain creative
Remain flexible
Impediments to longevity
Failures in the above
Over-investing in our lifestyle roles
Masters are no less Masterful for listening to their slaves
slaves are no less submissive for letting their needs be known
7/28/2019 Ds Relationship Maintenance
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However, do not relinquish your role Masters want slave, slaves want
Masters Masters still make the final decisions slaves gratification shouldcome from the attention the Master pays in listening and considering their
needs not in acquiescing to them.
Questions