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Divorce MediationPresented By Ben Bosley
Burlington, VTMarch 2019
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
My Background
• Bachelors of Business Administration, University of Massachusetts, 2001• Masters of Mediation & Applied Conflict Studies,
Champlain College, 2014In Private Practice Since 2017 Offering: • Mediation of Divorce & Post-divorce Disputes• Mediation of Buyer & Seller Contract Disputes• Organization Development Workshops
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Dispute Resolution Methods Costs vs. Benefits Of Each
ARBITRATIONNEGOTIATION MEDIATION LITIGATION
More Adversarial & Greater Expense
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What is Mediation?
A Voluntary Negotiation Between Two Parties To Reach A Resolution Facilitated By A ‘Mediator’ That Is A Neutral, To Assist The Resolution Process.
Mediators Help Identify Issues And Use Skills To Keep The Parties On Track To Resolution. Mediators Do Not Make Decisions About The Issues, The Parties Themselves Make Them.
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Mediators Help The Parties By….
• Defining An Issue Or A Proposal In A Way That It’s Easier To Solve
• Focusing On Needs And Interests.
• Moving Beyond Negative Emotions & Derailment
• Working Out Specific Solutions, Rather Than Vague Ones
• Drafting And Finalizing An Agreement In Writing That Includes The Solutions Set Forth For Implementation By The Parties
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights
Reserved
The Mediator Must….
• Be Impartial • Explain The Process And Ground Rules • Maintain Confidentiality• Make Clear The Process Is Voluntary• Make Sure The Parties Feel Safe And Unthreatened• Assist Parties In The Most Efficient Use Of Time• Inform You Of Their Mediation Training And Experience• Disclose Any Conflicts Of Interests Or Biases• Give You An Estimate Of The Time And Fees Involved
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
• May Settle All The Issues• Confidential • Subjectively Fair• Maintain Legal Counsel• Improves Communication & Mitigate Future Conflicts• Much Less Expensive Then The Alternatives (Ex. Litigation)
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
The Most Common Divorce Issues For Mediation
PropertyDivision
Child Custody
And Parenting
Child Support
Ongoing Family
Relations
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Property Division
What sorts of things are divided? • The House, Any Other Real Estate You Own, • Your Vehicles, • Your Bank Accounts, • Your Retirement Accounts, • Your Credit Card Debt, Etc.
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Child Custody & Parenting
Parenting Plan: I like to tell people to think of parental rights and responsibilities as a “parenting plan.” Because that’s what it is! It’s a plan that you and the other parent come up with (or a judge does if necessary) for taking care of the kids. These include:• Physical Living Arrangements• Parent–child Contact• Legal Responsibilities• Medical And Dental Care And Health Insurance• Travel Arrangements• Communicating With Each Other• Resolving Disagreements
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
What Are Some Examples Of Parenting Plans?
• Shared. If the two of you agree to this, your parenting plan can be as simple as this: shared legal responsibilities and shared physical responsibilities, as determined by the parents. • 50/50. Your parenting plan can be split. You can share legal
responsibilities (decision making) and split time with the kids• Every other weekend. Another common parenting plan has legal
responsibilities and most overnights with one parent, and the other parent spends every other weekend with the kids.
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Child Support
• The first question for figuring out child support is which parent has physical responsibilities for the kids. For purposes of child support, all this means is which parent has more overnight visits? • If you know your monthly income, the other parent's monthly
income, and how many overnights you have, you can figure out yourself how much the child support will probably be on the Vermont Office of Child Support Website Calculator
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Ongoing Family Relations
• Process for making changes to the parenting schedule or other parts of the parenting plan (Consider a process for reviewing arrangements as circumstances of you and your child change.)
• Method for resolving disagreements over the parenting plan
• Arrangements for holidays• What if one parent proposes to move?• Decisions about medical or dental care
• Decisions about any testing or assessments (Consider assessments for special accommodations in school, psychological or psycho-educational testing.
• Decisions about any choice or change in school, school program, special educational needs, tutoring etc. (How will these decisions be made?)
• Extra-curricular activities (How many? What type?)
• Notice of travelling with the child (Will notice of travel be given to the other parent?
• Involvement of new partners
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Getting Started Intake & The Divorce Mediation Process
OPENING STATEMENT
INDIVIDUAL TIME DISCUSSION ISSUE
IDENTIFICATION NEGOTIATION AGREEMENT
INTAKE
Separate Meetings(At Any Time)
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Intake Goals
• Sharing Of Information Between The Mediator And Parties • Determining Appropriateness Of Mediation • Developing Clear Expectations Of The
Mediator And The Parties• Accurately Define The Issue(s)• Build Trust Among The Parties And Mediator• Prepare The Parties For The Mediation
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Sample Intake Questions
• “What would you like to accomplish through mediation?”• “What are some of your biggest concerns
about mediation?”• “Have you discussed any of these issues
with the other party?”• “What happens when you tried to discuss
these issues?”
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Mediator’s Opening Statement• Appointment Of Mediator & Objectives
Of Mediation• Legal Representation• Voluntariness• Confidentiality• Schedule Of Mediation Sessions• Settlement Authority & Agreement• Fees
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Uninterrupted Time For The Parties
A Way To Begin The Mediation That Allows For:
• Each Person To Tell Their Story & Be Heard
• The Parties To Communicate Their Feelings, Needs And Interests
• Each Person To Receive Individualized Attention
• Learning Of New Things
• Clearing Up Of Any Misunderstandings
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Exchange Between the Parties
Conversation Among The Parties That Allows For:• Asking Questions Of Each Other &
Clarification • Talking About What’s Already Happened And
The Consequences• Reexamine Ones Own Needs And Interests• Reflecting On New Information• Summarizing What’s Worked And Not
Worked
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Identifying The Issues A problem frame is a statement of problems both parties want to work out: • Focused on the interests and needs of both
parties• Often Ties together common interests• Gives parties a focus point from which to begin
working
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Examples Of Positive Problem Frames
• Living arrangements for the kids that will provide for their best interests andwill be fair to both parents• How assets and liabilities will be
divided that will be fair and meet each others’ financial needs• How ongoing issues will be resolved
(such as holiday schedules) that will be practical and fair for everyone
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Negotiating An Agreement
The Mediator Helps The Parties:• Prioritize And Deal With Simpler Issues First• Express Their Opinions, Positions, And
What’s Important To Them• Listen To Each Other In Ways That Will Make
A Resolution More Likely• Understand Your Spouse’s Needs And Point
Of View• See The Mutual Benefits To Compromise
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
Writing & Signing The Agreement• After you sign the agreement, you or
the other party may bring it to court and ask the judge to include its terms in a court order.
• After that happens, both parties must follow the court’s order. The order will remain in effect until the judge agrees to modify it.
• Only you can decide whether a draft agreement is right for youCopyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights
Reserved
Is Mediation Right For You?Cases That Are Most Successful In Mediation
Where Both Parties Are Willing & Interested In:• Cooperative Resolution Process• Self Determined Outcome• Controlling The Risks Of Litigation.• Economical And Expeditious Resolution.• Privacy And Confidentiality.
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved
All In All
• All That’s Required To Make A Divorce Mediation Successful Is For Both People To Show Up Willing To Negotiate And Be Open To Compromise. • Don’t Reject Mediation Just Because You And Your Spouse See A
Particular Issue Very Differently—in Other Words, Don’t Give Up Before You’ve Begun. • Mediation Is A Powerful Process And Many Cases That Seem Impossible
To Resolve At The Beginning End Up In A Settlement If Everyone Is Committed To The Process. • Mediation Is Voluntary. If You’re Not Happy With The Process, You Can
End It At Any Time, And Go To Court.Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights
Reserved
Questions & Comments
Ben Bosley Mediator(802) 881-7909 [email protected]
Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved