Conflict: an expressed interaction between conscious beings that wish to carry out mutually inconsistent acts concerning their wants, needs or obligations

Life and Conflict

Table Of Contents

To Fight, Or Not To Fight: That Is

The Question (3-4)

Find Your Filters (5)

The Do’s and Don'ts (6)

Conflict as a Hurricane (7)

All About Atticus (8-9)

Getting Cooperation (10)

Conflict Is Beneficial (11)

Is Conflict a Good Thing? (12)

A word from the editors (13-16)

To Fight, Or Not To Fight: That Is The QuestionGetting into conflict can be tricky, but knowing when to get

into conflict can be even trickier. Many of us find ourselves having conflict and then thinking: was this worth it? Knowing when to try and tackle a conflict and when to let things go is a skill that will help you for the rest of your life. Not only will deciphering when to come into conflict help you with your social life but it is also an asset to bring into your work life. There are three main questions to ask yourself before addressing a conflict:1. Are you and the other party involved interdependent or independent?2. Do you have unimportant or incompatible goals?3. Does the other party pose a threat to me?The first question to ask yourself is if you and the other party are interdependent or independent. If you answered independent this problem may not be worth your time. If it is possible to walk away from this person (persons) unscathed, you may want to take the high road and let this one go, because it is probably more of an annoyance. If the two of you do not rely on one another in any type of way, I would be asking myself what’s the point? If you answered this question with interdependent, then this issue is definitely worth your time. You and the other party obviously have some type of future together which means that this problem is probably not something that is going to go away without being addressed.

Another question which needs to be asked before you address a conflict is: do you and the other party involved have

unimportant goals or incompatible goals? When looking at your goals and the other parties goals, it is important that you note whether they are unimportant or incompatible. If you and the other party have unimportant goals you could just be looking for a fight or the exact opposite, you may not care about the outcome of it. Either way when you have unimportant goals, there is no room for conflict. A real conflict may be necessary when you and the other party have important goals; however, they are not compatible. In this situation you may be able to realign your goals in order to eventually have conflict resolution.

The last question that you have to ask yourself is: does the other party pose a threat to me? This question may be the most important out of all of them. You have to come to terms with whether or not there is a true meaning behind why you want to address a conflict with someone. If there is no perceived threat from the other person then there is no reason to be involved in a conflict with them. However, if you feel that the other party poses a threat to you then you have every reason to address the conflict at hand. Your brain may not always recognize the difference between a physical threat and a mental threat, yet either way if YOU perceive that the threat it should be recognized.

By asking yourself these simple questions before getting into a conflict you may be on the track for a faster resolution that is, hopefully, more fitted to your needs.

Kendra Hizelberger

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Find Your Filters

Filters play a huge role in the way that each of us individually handle conflict. Being able to identify the filters that you may have developed over time will change how you approach conflict as well. Some examples of filters include gender, age, environment and previous experiences. Different past experiences in your life change your perspective and how you handle different situations.

By reflecting on your past you can try to identify the experiences that shape your filters. When you know what your filters are you are able to look at different situations from a new perspective. It is also important to try and help seek others filters. Knowing other peoples filters help you to identify why they hold certain perspectives and decide to handle conflict the way that they do.

Kendra Hizelberger

The DO’s and DON'TS in conflict Conflict resolution is challenging. There are many resolution styles that people use in different situations. In order to better resolve conflict you must understand how each style works and what to look for. This list of helpful tips and things to avoid can help you reach more successful conflict resolution.

DO- Understand where the other person is coming from. Without taking the other person's perspective you can not fully understand why there is a conflict. Keeping an open mind will help you reach a collaborating resolution where both parties walk away winners

Don’t- avoid the conflict. Avoiding can lead to buildup and explosion. Refer to pg 4 to learn about what avoiding the conflict can do.

Do- be willing to compromise. Sometimes outside sources like time or money put pressure on resolving the conflict soon. In these situations the quickest route to resolution is a compromise. Usually both sides have to give something up, however they both also get something they want.

DON’T- degrade or belittle. There will always be competition in some conflicts. In order to resolve the conflict and remain on good terms it is imperative to avoid degrading comments or belittling remarks. As soon as the “shit talking” begins the resolution stops.

DO- pick your battles. Sometimes the conflict is not worth it. In some situations it may be necessary to let someone else have the “win”. Accommodation should not be used all the time, you would simply give too much up. However sometimes someone may need the win more than you do.

DON’T- forget these tips.

Conflict as a Hurricane By: Louie HergottWhen it comes to using conflict as a metaphor, I like to use a hurricane as my example because when you really look at both of them, they’re a lot alike. Lets start from the beginning; both a hurricane a conflict build up before they hit. In conflict, some kind of event must take place between the two interdependent parties before the conflict occurs. And a hurricane must build up in the ocean before it hits the mainland and causes damage.

Furthermore, another similarity between conflict and hurricanes is that you can see them coming at you. If you’re in the path of a hurricane, you would be watching the weather reports and making preparations to hunker down or evacuate. And in a conflict, we notice the signs of an upcoming conflict by feeling the escalation of tension with the other party. Things you might do to prepare for an upcoming conflict, is to plan out your claims and points precisely, try to back them up with evidence, and try to guess what the opponent will say so you can think of a rebuttal.

Finally, a hurricane has different levels of severity it can cause when it hits land, ranging from category one through five. Just like in a conflict, it can remain calm or it can get heated and ugly. A category five hurricane will cause permanent damage to the land affected by the storm, now think of what a category five conflict would look like: anger, yelling, screaming, personal remarks, possibly even physical confrontation, making it difficult for both parties to ever come back from it. Also, a hurricane can veer off course at the last second and change direction, not causing any effect to the land. This happens sometimes in conflict, when we think that we’re about to go into a conflict with someone then perhaps a couple days go by and both parties think it’s not worthy to deal with the conflict anymore, and completely drop it and move on. In conclusion, writing this has made me realize how many routes of conflict there are that we can take. There is a conflict style and method for every kind of person out there.

Atticus Finch: Why We Need Him Now More Than Ever

By: Max Sarvello

Try to remember your 9th grade english class with the teacher whose name you most likely forgot. High School is a time where teenagers are just trying to find their places in this world, but luckily each High Schooler is introduced to the classical book To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. The book would be later turned into a movie which would also become a classic and stay within our hearts forever. The books main character, Atticus Finch, is what makes the lasting impression on us still today. His kindhearted spirit and bravery is a model for everyone. But, how can we learn from him today in the vastly different society we live in???

We know Atticus as a masterful attorney who stands up for what he believes in but, we have to remember him as what he was first, a father. A devoted father who wanted to leave this world and better place for his children and he did this by being by using conflict in the RIGHT way. Whenever Atticus gets into an argument with Scout (who is always trying to compete) he never compromises. Atticus always is sure to collaborate with his children, while still being able to teach them a lesson. Atticus has the ability to use two styles of conflict while completing his goal of doing the right thing.

Atticus’ ability to do this is on much better display during the cross-examination portion of the story. When you’re a lawyer, you always have to be competing but, Atticus is able to compete while using another style of conflict to prove his point. As his is competing to win his case and prove that Tom Robinson is innocent, he uses a form of collaborating to show that all men are created equal and therefore we should all win in the situation at hand. While many in the story disagree with Atticus, he must do this to be sure his kids see it and know right from wrong.

Atticus’ style of conflict is what we can learn from Atticus today. His ability to distinguish right from wrong is why today we need him more than ever. Anytime you feel your styles of competing and wrong and what you’re doing is wrong, turn to Atticus. We can still learn from him today, no matter what.

Getting Cooperation By: Louie Hergott

Getting cooperation during a conflict can be difficult, especially if both parties conflict styles are competing. The first step in gaining cooperation during a conflict is to not try to consistently talk over each other, this will lead to growing frustration and anger. Many conflicts that turn out like this go unresolved having the parties take one step forward and two steps back. When it comes to speaking order, have one person talk and state their point, while the other listens actively. It’s important that each person understands the others point of view on the conflict and are able to reach a resolution.

Conflict Is BeneficialKent Burnett

Conflict is society's way of pushing eachother. If people always agreed the world would be a sad and pathetic place. Without someone challenging your ideas there is no need to reexamine them yourself. Some of the greatest scientists, scratch that, MOST famous scientist spent hours failing, being told thats not possible. They were being challenged. Conflict breeds invention, if you don't believe in how or why something works you challenge it. Creating conflict with people who hold opposing ideas. This conflict creates situations where folks are forced to see the other side.There is almost always logical reasoning to both sides of every conflict. Perspective taking allows for conflict to be a learning experience. By looking at both sides of the same conflict, one can open up to new ways of looking at things. Perception is everything in this world, our perceptions are clouded by numerous factors. Conflict, when approached correctly can help eliminate some of the perceptual biases our filters create.

The Question Everyones Asking: Is Conflict A Good Thing???By...Max Sarvello

Unless you read this magazine everyday, you probably don't realize and often forget that you are involved with conflict everyday. Friends, co-workers, parents, spouses and even probably your dog. So now the question is this: Is conflict a good thing? Well, lets look at it some different ways. Sometimes in conflict you may win or lose the conflict and sometimes you fail miserably and sometimes both parties win; its all different. When you make a mistake, what do you do? You learn from the mistake. Therefore, you learn from conflict. When you lose in an argument, you have to learn from your loss.

If we are engaging in conflict everyday therefore, how could it possibly be a bad thing? Its apart of human nature. We often find ourselves in arguments about politics, theres a reason for that. Some of America's Founding Fathers knew that there had to be to opposing sides, therefore everyone's voice is heard and there is always common ground. That my friends, is why conflict exists, to find a common ground and learn from our mistakes. So, is conflict a good thing? You decide.

A letter from the editor: Louie HergottIn less than 24 hours I’m going to be embarking on a vacation to Panama City Beach, Florida with a dozen fraternity brothers. The conflicts that will arise during this trip will differ than the conflicts that would occur if I stayed home. Where the majority of my conflicts would be with my parents, about doing chores again, and trying to find valid defense points that laying in bed all day watching Netflix is somehow beneficial. While the conflicts I will face on my vacation will consist of: who took my koozie, calling out one’s behavior and so forth. The whole point of this, is to understand that dealing with conflict always changes given your situation. The people or groups who you’re with, the setting, background, your attitude, etc. The filter you use when in a conflict with your mother will differ than a conflict with your bestfriend. Given this and all the different types of conflicts we face everyday, I try and remain open minded, take in the others perspective, and try to find resolution and not further distance between the other party and myself.

Its That glorious time of the year again! Where we get to see the snow slowly melt away and watch the sun make all of us much happier than we were in the winter. During these great times where you’re happier, I encourage you to reconsider conflict. Is it good or bad? Could you improve on your style or styles of conflict? Whatever it may be, just give it a shot! When the sun comes up and everyone becomes much happier (like these photos on the right) we should try to improve on all of our bad habits because hey, theres no better time to! I know this summer will be filled with me working hard and constantly being out on the lake with my friends. Instead of constantly competing with them while we're sitting by a fire, I’m going to try to find ways to be a better compromise so that way I get a better input on what their saying and then we can all have fun! Keep these things in mind and lets make this the best transition from avoiding the snow and cold to being out on the lake ever!

A Letter From The Editor: Max Sarvello

Competition is second nature to me. I grew up in a sports dominated family, I played hockey, baseball, lacrosse and football for a bit too. That’s how my competitive conflict resolution style came to be. I have learned that competition is healthy and natural but it is not the best way to resolve conflict. There are better ways that ensure the satisfaction of each side of the conflict. If I, one of the most competitive people you may ever meet, was able to adapt and understand that conflict should be resolved in a mutually beneficial way, Then you can too.

When involved in conflict remember that there is a reason you don't see eye to eye with someone else. They most likely have a logical argument to why you're wrong. If you can keep calm and remember this, it allows each conflict to become a learning experience. A crash course in someone elses perspective if you will.

By Kent Burnett

When looking at conflict I think it all depends on perspective. If you’re going to be able to resolve a conflict, you have to be able to realize where the other person is coming from. If you have no idea why someone thinks the way that they do, you have no chance of coming together to find a solution. That being said, this is coming from someone who likes to keep conflict short, sweet and to the point.

The reason that I think I view conflict in this way is because of the filter I have from growing up. Growing up I had an awesome family environment with parents who almost never fought. I think that learning about conflict in this environment has molded me into someone who likes to stay away from it. Knowing this has allowed me to reasses the fact that I can sometimes have an avoidant conflict style.

Overall, I think that taking time to do some self reflection can be very beneficial. Learning more about your conflict style, triggers, and filters will help you a tremendous amount when approaching conflict.

Kendra Hizelberger