DiscordianismThe Un-Religion

Did you know that God is a crazy woman?The Greeks called her Eris, and the Romanscalled her Discordia, but you can call her what-ever you want. She has come to tell you that you are free.She is chaos. She is the substance from whichartists and scientists build rythyms. She is thespirit that with which children and clown laughin happy anarchy. She is chaos. She is aliveand she has come to tell you that you are free. There is no tyranny in the state of confu-sion. There are no laws in the Discordian So-ciety.

What is The Discordian Society?

The Discordian Society has no defintion.It has been called a disorganization of Erisfreaks. It has been called a geurilla mind the-atre. Episkopos Randomfactor prefers, TheWorlds Greatest Asscociation of Whatever itis we are. But all of us agree that we dontknow what we are. Something that THEY wont tell you isthat every man,woman and otherwise onearth is a genuine and authorized Pope.Take advantage of your postition. Declaresomething already.

Well,actually, there isnt one.Discordianism doesnt have sins, taboos, ordamnation. If you like being whatever it isyou are, youll like Discordianism.

Whats the Catch?

Joining theDiscordian Society

Please fill out the following:Name: _________________________________Holy Name:_____________________________Hair:______ Eyes:______Brain:____________Hat:______ Moustache:___________________Why ever do you want to be a member ofthe Discordian Society? ___________________What kind of freak are you? _______________Is your name Matthew J. Wood? (Yes/No)Do you want to be a Discordian? (Yes/No/Other)

Now, total up the number of correct answers anddivide by five. Multiply by 23 and subtract 6. Thiswill be your membership number. DO NOT FORGETIT! Make five copies of this. Send two to the properauthorities. Nail one to a post. Make one into a paperboat and Sink it. Bury the other one. Our undergroundagents will contact you.

HAIL ERIS! ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!brought to you by the Discordian Society, a non-prophet

disorganization. Power to the people. Ban the fucking bomb.(K) No one 1997 All rights reversed.

SinkA Game for Discordians and All

Sink is a game for Discordians and people ofmuch ilk. PURPOSE: To sink an object or a thing... inwater or mud or otherwise. RULES: Sinking is allowed in any manner.Rocks work nicely. Sticks and feathers are achallenge. Ponds and lakes are the best element,though a puddle or an ocean is just as well. TURNS are taken by any person who gets thestuff up in the air. DUTY: It is the duty of all players, uponsinking, to find more stuff to sink. UPON SINKING: The sinker should say, Isank it! or something like that. NAMING OF OBJECTS provides an advancedversion. The sinker then names the sunk. Forinstance, I sunk Ocean City, New Jersey!

DISEMBRACETHE

GREYFACEAnd find happiness in a contented chao...

This is the sacred chao. Study it well. ThePentagon is Order. The Golden Apple of Discordis Disorder. Both are elements of the chao, asingle unit of chaos. This means something, I tellyou! This is important!

The Inside Scoop!How do I get in on The Discordian Society?A Sermon on Ethics and Love One day, Malaclypse the Younger asked themessenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach theGoddess and request her presence for some des-perate advice. Shortly thereafter, a radio cameon by itself, and an ethereal female voice said,YES? O Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen ofChaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Con-fusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift aheavy burden from my heart!What bothers you Mal? You dont sound well. I am bother with fear an torment with terriblevisions of pain. Everywhere people are hurtingone another, the planet is rampant with injustices,whole societies plunder groups of their ownpeople, mothers imprison sons, children perishwhile brothers war. O, woe.What is the matter with that, if it is what youwant to do? But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it! Oh. Well, then stop. At which point She turned Herself into an as-pirin commercial and left the Polyfather strandedalone with his species.

Whats all that about? Not much. But Ill tell you what it is all about.Discordians are apt to party, and thats perhapswhat we do best. Therefore, if you want in onDiscordianism, I recommend having as manyparties as you can. Consult your pineal gland. Remember that ev-eryone else has one too. Remind them of that.Above all, do whatever it is that you do, and be-come whatever it is that you are.

Discordianisms central dogma states thatthere is no Discordian dogma. It is our firm be-lief not to hold firm beliefs. By that token, we have the Pentabarf,Discordianisms Five Commandments. I. There is no Goddess but Goddess and She isyour Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement butthe Erisian Movement and it is your ErisianMovement. II. A Discordian shall always use the OfficialDiscordian Numbering system. III. A Discordian is required during his earlyIllumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyouslyof a Hot Dog on a Friday. This devotive Cer-emony is to Remonstrate against the PopularPagainisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom(no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat ofpork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of beef), ofBuddhists (no meat of animal), and ofDiscordians (no hot dog buns). IV. A Discordian shall partake of No Hot DogBuns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddesswhen She was Confronted with The OriginalSnub. V. A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing Whatshe Reads. SO IT IS WRITTEN! SO BE IT! HAILDISCORDIA! PROSECUTERS SHALL BETRANSGRESSICUTED! And all that. Anyway, thats the gist of thePentabarf. Why Five Commandments? Im soglad you asked! You see, among the other Erisian Mysterees isthe Law of Fives. The Law of Fives States: All things happen in fives, or are divisible byor are multiples of five, or are somehow directlyor indirectly appropriate to five. The Law of Fives is never wrong.

There are several divisions of the Discordian Soci-ety. One is POEE, the Paratheo-anametamystickhoodof Eris Esoteric. It was founded by one of the foundersof Discordianism, Malaclypse the Younger. The Discordian Society is also made up of Cabals -small groups of Discordians.However, an Episkoposof The Discordian Society is one who prefers au-tonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as theGoddess sees fit. He speaks for himself and those thatlike what he says. Also,there isthe Legionnaire, whoprefers not to create his own sect. If you want in on the Discordian Society, then de-clare yourself what you wish, do what you like, andtell us about it, or, if you prefer, dont.

Tell me more about This Discordian Stuff.. Alright then. Allow me to tell you how Goddessspeaks to us. In the back of our brains is the pinealgland, a conical little organ that has no known func-tion. However, Discordians know it to be the organthrough which Goddess communicates to us. Con-sult your pineal gland and be enlightened. Unfortunately, it seems that as we Discordians be-come enlightened, we make less and less sense. Suchis the nature of enlightenment, though. Therefore, ifany of this has made sense to you, you might be nextin line for Illumination. Afterall, this may be totalbullshit, but bullshit makes the flowes grow, and thatsbeautiful. The Search for the Truth can be tiring and futile.Discordians regard Truth as an interpretation, and nomore. Reality is the original Rorshach. As the greatPolyfather Malaclypse the younger said,

Everything is true, even false things.But how can that be?

I dont know man, I didnt do it.