Diakonos CounselingDiakonos Counseling

Essential Elements for Essential Elements for Developing a Healthy Developing a Healthy

MarriageMarriage

Essential Elements for Developing Essential Elements for Developing a Healthy Marriagea Healthy Marriage

““However, each of you also must However, each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” the wife must respect her husband.” NIVNIV

Ephesians Ephesians 5:335:33

Dr. David Olson says “Change is Dr. David Olson says “Change is inevitable but growth is intentional. inevitable but growth is intentional. We seriously over-estimate what we We seriously over-estimate what we can accomplish in one day’s time, can accomplish in one day’s time, and we seriously under-estimate and we seriously under-estimate what we can accomplish in one what we can accomplish in one year’s time.year’s time.

Romans chapter 12Romans chapter 12

FOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL CORE FOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL CORE ISSUES THAT IMPACT CHANGEISSUES THAT IMPACT CHANGE

Self-Talk ProficiencySelf-Talk Proficiency Mood ManagementMood Management Behavior ModificationBehavior Modification Stress ResistanceStress Resistance

THREE POWERFUL EMOTIONS THREE POWERFUL EMOTIONS THAT IMPACT CHANGETHAT IMPACT CHANGE

LoveLove FearFear AngerAnger

TOOLS IN THE DEVIL’S WORKSHOPTOOLS IN THE DEVIL’S WORKSHOP

Low-Self-EsteemLow-Self-Esteem PerfectionismPerfectionism CriticismCriticism ContemptContempt DefensivenessDefensiveness StonewallingStonewalling

HARLEY’S FOUR LOVE BUSTERSHARLEY’S FOUR LOVE BUSTERS

Angry OutburstsAngry Outbursts Disrespectful JudgementsDisrespectful Judgements Selfish DemandsSelfish Demands Thoughtless DecisionsThoughtless Decisions

Dr. Richard HarleyDr. Richard Harley

THE RELATIONSHIP CLOCKTHE RELATIONSHIP CLOCK

Love is a ChoiceLove is a ChoiceRobert Hemfelt Ed.D. - Frank Minirth M.D. - Paul Meier M.D.Robert Hemfelt Ed.D. - Frank Minirth M.D. - Paul Meier M.D.

FOUR DYNAMICS THAT WILL FOUR DYNAMICS THAT WILL DESTROY A MARRIAGEDESTROY A MARRIAGE

EscalationEscalation InvalidationInvalidation Withdrawal and AvoidanceWithdrawal and Avoidance Negative InterpretationsNegative Interpretations

Fighting for Your MarriageFighting for Your Marriage Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan Howard Markman, Scott Stanley, Susan

L. BlumbergL. Blumberg

THE COMMUNICATION-THE COMMUNICATION-CONSIDERATION QUADRANTCONSIDERATION QUADRANT

COMMUNICATION: THE FOUR COMMUNICATION: THE FOUR BASIC KEYS TO SUCCESSFULLY BASIC KEYS TO SUCCESSFULLY

COMMUNICATING WITH ANYONECOMMUNICATING WITH ANYONE

TimingTiming ToneTone ContentContent Non-verbalNon-verbal

COMMUNICATION: TAKING THE COMMUNICATION: TAKING THE RIGHT STEPS IN THE RIGHT ORDERRIGHT STEPS IN THE RIGHT ORDER

Step 1: Conversations for Step 1: Conversations for UnderstandingUnderstanding

Step 2: Conversations for DecisionsStep 2: Conversations for Decisions

COMMUNICATION: REACHING FOR COMMUNICATION: REACHING FOR LEVELS OF EXCELLENCELEVELS OF EXCELLENCE

Level 5…..PRN Level 5…..PRN

Level 4…..Feeling Level 4…..Feeling

Level 3…..Belief Level 3…..Belief

Level 2…..FactLevel 2…..Fact

Level 1…..ClichéLevel 1…..Cliché

BELIEVE THE EXPERTSBELIEVE THE EXPERTS

Gary Smalley says that anger has 3 outlets. 1. Stuff it. 2. Gary Smalley says that anger has 3 outlets. 1. Stuff it. 2. Spew it. 3. Study it. Spew it. 3. Study it. From Anger To IntimacyFrom Anger To Intimacy

Josh McDowell has said, “Rules and expectations without a Josh McDowell has said, “Rules and expectations without a relationship will equal rebellion.”relationship will equal rebellion.”

James Dobson said “The most vulnerable victims of family James Dobson said “The most vulnerable victims of family instability are the children.” instability are the children.” Love Must Be ToughLove Must Be Tough

Carl Rogers UPR Unconditional Positive RegardCarl Rogers UPR Unconditional Positive Regard Stephen Covey Habit #5: “Seek First to Understand Then Stephen Covey Habit #5: “Seek First to Understand Then

to be Understood”to be Understood” John Gottman NSO Negative Sentiment Over-rideJohn Gottman NSO Negative Sentiment Over-ride Leslie Vernick “Reacting versus Responding” Chapter 3 of Leslie Vernick “Reacting versus Responding” Chapter 3 of

How To Act Right When Your Spouse Acts WrongHow To Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong Emerson Eggerichs “The Crazy Cycle” Emerson Eggerichs “The Crazy Cycle” Love and RespectLove and Respect Richard Harley “The Love Bank” Richard Harley “The Love Bank” His Needs, Her NeedsHis Needs, Her Needs Gary Chapman Chapter 3 “Falling In Love” “The in-love Gary Chapman Chapter 3 “Falling In Love” “The in-love

experience does not focus on our own growth nor on the experience does not focus on our own growth nor on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived.” gives us the sense that we have arrived.” The Five Love The Five Love LanguagesLanguages

THE PATHOLOGY PROBLEMTHE PATHOLOGY PROBLEM

DepressionDepression AnxietyAnxiety PerfectionismPerfectionism AngerAnger PTSDPTSD Low Self-EsteemLow Self-Esteem Personality DisorderPersonality Disorder AddictionAddiction MedicalMedical

Diakonos Diakonos CounselingCounseling

Contact Info:Contact Info:4200 Little Blue Parkway, Ste 3604200 Little Blue Parkway, Ste 360

Independence, MO 64057Independence, MO 64057Phone: 816-373-9240Phone: 816-373-9240

Website: www.DiakonosCounseling.comWebsite: www.DiakonosCounseling.comFacebook: Diakonos CounselingFacebook: Diakonos Counseling

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