Development of the Men’s

Advice Line

&

Working With

Men Experiencing Domestic Violence

Mark Coulter

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Background

• From small-scale project to national helpline• Victimisation NOT the issue• Relationships ARE the issue

• Gender role socialisation key to appropriate services

• Men are ‘problem-solvers’

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Er Hello!!!!

• Remove gender & increase risk• Not all violence the same• Exclusive not inclusive

• Add-ons but dominant culture remains• Us and Them

• Lack of engagement• No single profile of perpetrator or victim

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Men & Health

• Lack of awareness of their health needs• Inability to express their emotions

• Lack of social networks• Life or Death

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

What men fear

• Powerlessness• Not being valued• Abandonment

• Self• Being ‘other’

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

What we do

• Give men a chance to talk about their experiences

• Challenge Denial• Provide emotional & practical support• Focus on needs of individual caller• Non-judgmental & non-collusive

• Encourage help-seeking• Support & enhance crisis management skills

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

What is different in our approach?

• Male positive approach• Use plain language-not language of therapy

• Non-collusive• Support men making positive choices in

tough times• Explore solutions not emotions• WE DON’T BLAME WOMEN

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Challenges

Providing services for men requires • Centrality of understanding of gender

• Power & Control• Primary focus on safety

• Investment • Training

• New Ways of Working and Thinking

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Challenges for victim focussed agencies

• Victim or Perpetrator• Bi-directional violence and abuse

• Mutual allegations• Working with single incident & pattern of

abuse• Limits to confidentiality

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Significant Benefits

• Inclusive service• Makes men visible

• Assists risk management• Enhances women’s safety• Assists child protection• We are in this together

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

Father Kills Children in Blaze

June 2007

Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works?28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology