Look at the Look at the picture again picture again

closely. closely.

Then read Then read Description A & Description A & Description B.Description B.

Description A

Beyond the bridge is an old lock.

Description B

Beyond the low wooden bridge the old lock sleeps, forgotten and motionless as if trapped by the strange, haunting trees that surround it.

Think about the Think about the descriptions. descriptions.

Which one do you Which one do you like the best and like the best and

why?why?

Description A – This is a very simple description, the reader does not have to think very much. It just tells you what is there.Beyond the wall is an old lock.

Description B – Here the writer has taken the simple description and added to it. Now the reader has to think and use imagination.Beyond the low, wooden bridge the old lock

sleeps, forgotten and motionless as if trapped by the strange, haunting trees that surround it.

Let’s look more closely.

Beyond the low, wooden bridge the old lock sleeps .

Adjectives – ‘low, wooden and old’ - used to describe the bridge and the lock.Verb / Personification – ‘sleeps’– The writer has made the lock seem human.

The writer has also used the word ‘haunting’.

‘haunting’ suggests something mysterious or frightening.

With this one word the writer has introduced a sense of

mystery. Just what is happening in the picture?

What else can the What else can the writer use? writer use?

Let’s add another Let’s add another sentence to sentence to

Description B.Description B.

Beyond the low wooden bridge the old lock sleeps, forgotten and motionless as if trapped by the strange haunting trees that surround it. Their branches are like a tall giant’s fine fingers grasping at the walls.

Description B

What has the writer used now?

Their branches are like a tall giant’s fine, fingers grasping at the walls .

Simile – ‘like’– the writer has said the subject is like something else. It adds to the picture in

the reader’s imagination.

Alliteration – ‘fine, fingers’ – words with the same beginning sound used one after

another. It sounds super!

What makes good What makes good descriptive descriptive

writing?writing?In some ways it is like In some ways it is like building a wall, the building a wall, the writer needs to use writer needs to use the right building the right building

blocks?blocks?

Adjectives

Personification

Alliteration

Similes

These are just some of the building blocks!

Now look at some different Now look at some different pictures of Fourteen Locks.pictures of Fourteen Locks.

Make a mind map of your Make a mind map of your ideas for description.ideas for description.

Use your ideas to write Use your ideas to write exciting descriptive exciting descriptive

sentences. sentences.

Remember to use the building blocks!

Adjectives

Personification

Alliteration

Similes