Desperation

Desperate To Be Loved

Introduction• Welcome• Pray• Desperate: having an urgent need or desire;

leaving little or no hope• This webisode is about being desperate to be

loved

Introduction (Cont)• Love definition- a profoundly tender,

passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.

• Bible's definition 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

1 Corinthians 13:4-8(4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8(7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (8) Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Introduction (Cont)• We all have that desperate need to feel this

love. Whether it's giving that love or receiving it.

• Today, we are going to hear Kelly’s struggle with wanting to be loved by a new family member.

Introduction (Cont)• Today, we are going to hear Kelly’s struggle

with wanting to be loved by a new family member.

• Discussion Question

Discussion Question• Think of a time in your life when you

were desperate to be loved.

Testimony• When I married Brian I became a step-mom to

Brian’s son, BJ.

• Brian had lost contact with BJ for several years. BJ was across the country.

Testimony (Cont)• Brian had lost contact with BJ for several

years. BJ was across the country.

• After we had a baby we got into contact with BJ through family forwarding baby pictures.

Testimony (Cont)• After we had a baby we got into contact with

BJ through family forwarding baby pictures.

• I had to deal with the realization that I would meet this step-son of mine for the first time.

Testimony (Cont)• I had to deal with the realization that I would

meet this step-son of mine for the first time.

• We made plans to fly him out for Thanksgiving. It had been 8 years since father and son had seen each other.

Testimony (Cont)• We made plans to fly him out for

Thanksgiving. It had been 8 years since father and son had seen each other.

• I struggled with wanting to be loved by this 16 year old stranger who had become my son.

Testimony (Cont)• I struggled with wanting to be loved by this 16

year old stranger who had become my son.

• I didn’t want to be the evil step mother from all the fairy tales I read about.

Testimony (Cont)• I didn’t want to be the evil step mother from

all the fairy tales I read about.

• I struggled with how to act or treat BJ.

Testimony (Cont)• I struggled with how to act or treat BJ.

• How do I balance getting to know him at the same time giving him space to get to know his Dad?

Testimony (Cont)• How do I balance getting to know him at the

same time giving him space to get to know his Dad?

• What if he thought I wasn’t good enough for his Dad?

Testimony (Cont)• What if he thought I wasn’t good enough for

his Dad?

• I just wanted to be accepted and loved by him.

Testimony (Cont)• I just wanted to be accepted and loved by him.

• Discussion Question

Discussion QuestionDiscuss in your group how you relate to Kelly’s story.

Biblical Example• I have heard the bible referred to as God’s love

letter to man

• Luke 7:36-50

Luke 7:36-50(36) When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. (37) A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. (38) As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

Luke 7:36-50(39) When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is--that she is a sinner." (40) Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said. (41) "Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.

Luke 7:36-50(42) Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" (43) Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said. (44) Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.

Luke 7:36-50(45) You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. (46) You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. (47) Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little."

Luke 7:36-50(48) Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." (49) The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" (50) Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Biblical Example (Cont)• The woman was desperate for love from Jesus

and gave everything she had.

• Jesus loved her and forgave her sins

Biblical Example (Cont)• Jesus forgave her sins.

• John 15:12

John 15:12John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Biblical Example (Cont)• Jesus makes it plain and simple. Love each

other as He has loved us.

• It’s not just Jesus who loves us, God the father loves us.

Biblical Example (Cont)• It’s not just Jesus who loves us, God the father

loves us.

• John3:16-17

John 3:16-17(16) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (17) For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Biblical Example (Cont)• God loves us so much He sent His son to come

and pay our sin debt with His own life.

• Jesus did not come to condemn the world

Biblical Example (Cont)• Jesus Did not come to condemn the world. He

came to save the world.

• This is the example to strive to be and expect from others.

Biblical Example (Cont)• This is the example to strive to be and expect

from others.

• Discussion Question

Discussion Question• How do these biblical truths relate to your

own personal story of being desperate to be loved?

Fulfillment• The Thanksgiving trip was a whirlwind and he

came the next summer for 6 weeks.

• It was one thing to have BJ for 4 days but 6 weeks would stretch me.

Fulfillment (Cont)• It was one thing to have BJ for 4 days but 6

weeks would stretch me.

• I toiled once again with what our relationship would be like.

Fulfillment (Cont)• I toiled once again with what our relationship

would be like.

• Would he love me after living with our family?

Fulfillment (Cont)• Would he love me after living with our family?

• 1 John 4:7

1 John 4:7(7) Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Fulfillment (Cont)• God wanted me to love BJ with his love.

• BJ came from a different background.

Fulfillment (Cont)• BJ came from a different background.

• I realized that all I had to be to BJ was me.

Fulfillment (Cont)• I realized that all I had to be to BJ was me.

• I wanted BJ to see Jesus in me.

Fulfillment (Cont)• I wanted BJ to see Jesus in me.

• Right before BJ visited that summer I gave birth to my daughter.

Fulfillment (Cont)• Right before BJ visited that summer I gave

birth to my daughter.

• Each morning, BJ and I would spend 2 – 3 hours talking and getting to know one another while I fed and took care of my daughter.

Fulfillment (Cont)• Each morning, BJ and I would spend 2 – 3

hours talking and getting to know one another while I fed and took care of my daughter.

• Those moments were priceless and build a tight bond between us.

Fulfillment (Cont)• Those moments were priceless and build a

tight bond between us.

• Conclusion

Conclusion• BJ could have rejected me and viewed me as

the wicked step-mother.• I learned that God loves BJ more than I do. All

I can do is love him through God.• God is love and he created us to love others

and to be loved.

Conclusion• For those struggling to be loved, know that God

loves you, he accepts you, and he made you just the way you are.

• You may be rejected by some but know you are loved by the Creator of the universe!

• Pray

TeaserNext time join us as we discuss being desperate to have peace