QUARTER 4- 2013Quarter 4- 2013

DESCRIPTIVE PORTFOLIO

LORD OF THE FLIES

ENGLISHJULIETTE MOUANTRILORD OF THE FLIES• WILLIAM GOLDING

TABLE OF

CONTENTSSectionSection Page #

Passage #1: Technique Discussion and Identification 2Passage #1:

Deconstruction of the Passage 3

Passage #2: Technique Discussion and Identification 4Passage #2:

Deconstruction of the Passage 5

Passage #3: Rewritten Passage 6Passage #3:

Rationale 7

Passage #3:

Technique Discussion and Identification 8

Passage #3:

Deconstruction of the Passage 9-10

Passage #4: Rewritten Passage 11Passage #4:

Rationale 12

Passage #4:

Technique Discussion and Identification 13

Passage #4:

Deconstruction of the Passage 14

BibliographyBibliography 15

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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PASSAGE #1LORD OF THE FLIES

CHAPTER 7• PAGE 156 OF 290

“The pig-run kept close to the jumble of rocks that lay down by the water on the other side and Ralph was

content to follow Jack along it. If you could shut your ears to the slow suck down of the sea and boil of the return, if you could forget how dun and unvisited were the ferny coverts on either side, then there was a chance that you might put the beast out of mind and dream for a while. The sun had swung over the vertical and the afternoon

heat was closing in on the island. Ralph passed a message forward to Jack and when they next came to fruit the

whole party stopped and ate.”

“

” In this passage, Golding has given the

dominant impression of a relaxed morning

through well-reasoned use of personification

and imagery, auditory imagery and tactile

imagery.

Golding first introduces this tranquil day

as he describes a ‘jumble of rocks that lay down.’

A jumble is a pile of unorganized items but this

word does not give the image of the piled rocks

as hazardous though it could be. A pile of rocks

could definitely be dangerous especially near by

water as one could slip and fall on them however

using jumble rather than a synonym such as a

haphazard or a clutter takes the feeling

of insecurity away. For example a ‘jumble sale’ is

not seen as dangerous, whereas haphazard has

the word ‘hazard’ in it which is a warning in

itself. Ralph himself is not bothered but ‘content

to follow Jack along it’ which adds on to how

they are simply scattered. Golding goes on to

personify that they ‘lay down’ which gives the

feeling of being relaxed rather than simply

stating that they were there. It also contrasts to

how they are hard, and cold.

Quiet adds on to the impression of a

relaxed morning which is seen by describing the

ferny coverts as ‘dun’ and ‘unvisited.’ This shows

that the place they are in is quiet and peaceful as

no one is here other then those on the pig-run

and the sound of the sea. The sea is also a place

seen to be relaxing that people like to visit when

concentrating on something that needs quiet or

inspiration. The description of the repetitive

crashing of waves is almost like a lullaby instead

of aggressive which can be felt with the

descriptive words ‘slow suck down of the sea and

boil of the return.’ The auditory imagery of the

slow repeating action can be heard that puts the

readers in a placid trance as they read on. Even

one of the characters, Ralph, almost forgets that

he is there to hunt for the pig and dares to

‘dream’ for a while which is a strong word to use

in such situations. Being in a situation where

you must hunt a pig to survive while only being a

child should make it impossible for Ralph to

dream. However, Ralph does and so that is one

of the most impacting words used that give the

dominant impression of a relaxed morning.

TECHNIQUE DISCUSSION AND IDENTIFICATION

DECONSTRUCTION OF PASSAGE 1 1. What is the subject of this description?The subject of the description is the pig-run

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?The author describes how Ralph follows Jack and other boys for the pig-run.-'Jumble of rocks': a cluster of rocks but doesn't sound as dangerous as a haphazard of rocks or a mass of rocks because 'Jumble' sales aren't dangerous either-'Lay down by the water': personification of the rocks. They are 'relaxed' as well, as compared to their tough and cold exterior-'Slow suck down of the sea and boil of the return': Sounds like a slow and repetitive, much like a lullaby-'Dun and unvisited': dull and uninteresting rather than busy and distracting location to hunt. It is unvisited so there is most probably no pig which means Ralph is less alert-'A chance that you might put the beast out of mind and dream': dreaming and forgetting about a beast is something you could only dream for in a hunting situation. Especially if you a dependent on your prey for food. The setting is really relaxed if he is able to do that in such conditions-'Afternoon heat was closing in': this means that it was the morning earlier on and the morning's are usually quiet and cooler than the afternoons

3. How does this impact on the way you 'see' the subject in your mind?These points of q.2 make me 'see' the pig-run as nothing to worry about since fruit was mentioned so they could eat that instead. The pig-run sounds more like a way to spend your time rather than a necessity. The situation was described as much too calm and relaxed for it to be a life or death activity.

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?The author uses auditory imagery of the sound of the water, visual imagery of the scenery, and kinesthetic imagery from the heat of the afternoon closing in.

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?These techniques develop a very laid-back and calm morning as a dominant impression.

6. What unique observations had the author made?The author has pointed out that Ralph is at peace to the point of being able to forget about the beast and dream which are two very tough things to be able to do in his position.

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary usedJumble: Cluster, group of (something) in an untidy manner

8. Senses used: Auditory, Visual, Touch3

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PASSAGE #2LORD OF THE FLIES

CHAPTER 2• PAGE 57 OF 290

Life became a race with the fire and the boys scattered through the upper forest. To keep a clean flag of flame flying on the mountain was the immediate end and no one looked further. Even the smallest boys, unless fruit claimed them, brought little pieces of wood and threw them in. The air moved a little faster and became a light wind, so that leeward and windward side were clearly differentiated. On one side the air was cool, but on the other the fire thrust out a savage arm of heat that crinkled hair on the instant. Boys who felt the evening wind on their damp faces paused to enjoy the freshness of it and then found they were exhausted. They flung themselves down in the shadows that lay among the shattered rocks. The beard of flame diminished quickly; then the pile fell inwards with a soft, cindery sound, and sent a great tree of sparks upwards that leaned away and drifted downwind. The boys lay, panting like dogs.

“

” In this passage, Golding has created the dominant impression of haste resulting into exhaustion. This is done with repeated use of contrast of cool wind blowing on the growing flame which forces the characters to go back and forth to keep the flame going which becomes exhausting.

The passage goes in immediately to the point which adds on to the sense of rush. Golding does this by opening it with 'Life became a race with the fire.' This is a great description because it shows the speed needed to keep up with the fire which can only be described as a race due to the repetitive action of getting wood and throwing it in the fire. It is also literally their life as without the flame they can get the 'clean flag of flame flying on the mountain' that they wish to obtain.

The repetitive contrast that leads to the sense of exhaustion is the difference or the 'clearly differentiated' temperature of the leeward and windward of the flame. One side is cool but the other os like a 'fire thrust out a savage arm of heat.' This means that the characters have to go back and forth to even it out and keep the flame going. The contrast also gives an impression of confusion as the boys have to adapt to the constantly changing flame that won't keep the same state. The cool air is

'fresh' on their 'damp faces' but their faces were damp in the first place because of the 'savage arm of heat.' This image shows the erratic behavior of the flame which could 'grab' at them at any given moment while they enjoy the temporary breeze. The constant need to keep up with the flame is then exhausting especially since it is hot being near a flame for so long.

TECHNIQUE DISCUSSION AND IDENTIFICATION

DECONSTRUCTION OF PASSAGE 21. What is the subject of this description?The subject of this description is the fire and the boys who are trying to keep it burning.

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?The author shows the importance of the fire, what the boys want the fire to look like, what the fire is actually like and the energy taken to keep it going.-'Life became a race with the fire': The boys' lives are dependant on the fire-'To keep a clean flag of flame flying on the mountain.': the boys' goal to get off the island-'Even the smallest boys,'- even the smallest boys wish to help out-'Fire thrust out a savage arm of heat'- dangerously hot and has unpredictable movements-'Beard of blame'- visual imagery-'Great tree of sparks upwards'- similar image to atomic cloud-'Boys lay, panting like dogs'- exhausting to go back and forth, feeding a flame

3. How does this impact on the way you 'see' the subject in your mind?In my mind I imagine the fire to be wild and yet weak. It is hot but requires a lot of attention to keep on going which is very exhausting.

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?The author uses the visual imagery as we can imagine the flames licking the sky before fading out in need of more fuel. The author also uses kinesthetic imagery as we can feel the alternating sensation of cool breeze to hot fire that could singe hair.

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?These techniques develop the dominant impression of exhaustion from going back and forth when your plans are going very well.

6. What unique observations had the author made?He has observed that the little children are easily distracted by fruit but are able to help nonetheless.

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary usedDiminished- slowly disapearDifferentiate- to be able to distinguishLeeward- downwind

8. Senses usedVisual and Kinesthetic

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PASSAGE #3LORD OF THE FLIES

CHAPTER 2• PAGE 54 OF 290

KEY• BOLD: added or changed

• Strikethrough: removed

Together, joined in an effort by the burden and the cold of the rain,

they staggered up the last steep Of the mountain, accumulating mud as

they went. Together, they enduringly chanted One! Two! Three!,

determined beat the odds and crashed the log on to the great pile.

Then they stepped back, laughing hystericallywith triumphant pleasure, so that immediately Ralph had to stand on his

head. Below them, boys were still laboring in the thick, though some of

the small ones had lost interest and were searching this new forest for fruit

and shelter. Now the twins, with unsuspected ill-timed intelligence,

came up the mountain with armfuls of dried leaves and dumped them

against the pile, laying obsolete from the rain. One by one, as they

sensed that the pile was complete, the boys stopped going back for more

and stood, with the pink, shattered top of the mountain around them. As

breathing came evenly by now, they were broken out of their

focused trance and realized that the moisture on their faces was

not sweat but rain that poured through the forest canopy onto

their wooden pile, dampening their efforts.

”

“

Together, joined in an effort by the burden, they staggered up the last sleep Of the mountain. Together, they chanted One! Two! Three! and crashed the log on to the great pile. Then they stepped back, laughing with triumphant pleasure, so that immediately Ralph had to stand on his head. Below them, boys were still laboring, though some of the small ones had lost interest and were searching this new forest for fruit. Now the twins, with unsuspected intelligence, came up the mountain with armfuls of dried leaves and dumped them against the pile. One by one, as they sensed that the pile was complete, the boys stopped going back for more and stood, with the pink, shattered top of the mountain around them. Breath came evenly by now, and sweat dried.”

“REWRITE :

RATIONALE

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In the original passage, Golding has given the dominant impression of unity and bonds forming between the boys aiming to build a fire together. Golding has done this by turning a hard situation, in this passage it was to build a fire, and turn it into positive one where the characters achieve something. He uses contrast by using unappealing words such as 'laboring' and channels them into the goal of building the fire which resolves into an outcome bright in comparison to the action needed to accomplish them. When I rewrote the passage, I decided to change the weather to rainy as no fire can be made in the rain which would render all their effort obsolete and their unity formed will become a waste of time as well. This will then change the whole dominant impression to 'failing after trying your best', a disheartening mood, rather than an accomplished one.

At the beginning of the passage, I kept the determined mood and pushed back when it collapses until later so that it gives the reader a false sense of hope until they realize with the characters that it was all for nothing. Rain is usually cold and so in the first sentence where the burned ties them together, I added that the cold did as well to add on to it as huddling in the cold keeps bodies warm. This shows that they are also dependent on each other's body warmth. As they chant I

described it as 'enduringly' because they are trying to push through the cold and heavy rain to achieve their task, 'determined to beat the odds.' Along with the sense of false hope comes the additional hurdles they need to get passed that come along with rain, mud. This adds on to the sticky uncomfortable feeling of being in the rain and also adds on to the weight and struggles of moving the logs, so that when they feel accomplished of having moved them, it impacts them twice as much when they realize the fire itself can't start and that it was a waste of time.

The new dominant impression's signs start gathering from the start but the boys begin to notice when the twins bring leaves to spread the fire faster. This is a very smart idea, as the author mentioned, however in the rain it would not work so I changed 'unsuspected intelligence' to 'ill-timed intelligence' as it is the wrong time and the wrong moment. A fire can't spread if there is no fire to begin with, thus, the no longer 'dried' leaves become 'obsolete from the rain.' Finally, it is pointed out that since it is raining, the boys should have felt it on their faces but that the reason why they continued on is because they were too concentrated and believed it was their sweat.

TECHNIQUE DISCUSSIONAND IDENTIFICATION

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In this passage, Golding has used auditory imagery and visual imagery to develop the dominant impression of unity and bonds forming from tough task, in this case, fire building. He developed the impression of a tight knit group of boys that are bonding over the tedious task of fire building by having fun while doing it and being proud of what they have accomplished when completed the task.

The task is immediately labeled as a burden when beginning the passage but hope is not lost yet as they are 'Together, joined in an effort by the burden.' They have decided to push through the hurdle together rather than against each other and waste more time. The weight of the log is heavy as they 'staggered' while bringing it to the pile of wood but nevertheless they chanted in unison 'One! Two! Three!' so that they kept pace with one another. This commands determination and unity because if they staggered with the log they are assumed to have difficulty breathing and with difficulty breathing, chanting is not

an easy task. This is certain because the line 'Breath came evenly by now' that comes on later, confirms that they had trouble breathing during the task. Another word that confirms they must be bonding and determined rather than having fun is the word 'laboring' to describe the action but contrast the the positive outcome of 'Laughing with triumphant pleasure.' This is the feeling of success that they all feel together as they worked together through the 'labor' and now have something they can be proud of. The unity is finally summed up in 'One by one' which explains how they all feel the same sense of accomplishment flowing from one to another as equals.

DECONSTRUCTION OF PASSAGE 31. What is the subject of this description?The subject is the boys on the island building a fire together.

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?The author shows the boys cooperating together in unity to build a fire. They work as a group not individuals to get the task completed rather than protesting and disputing over who is the leader and what to do.

• 'Together, joined in an effort by the burden'- this shows that they are taking on the burden of a task together rather than complain about it and push on the task to another.

• 'Staggered'- This means to sway unsteadily and about to fall. In this context it is from the weight of the log which they are carrying together. They are literally carrying each others 'weight'.

• 'Together, they chanted One! Two! Three!'- The word 'staggered' showed that they had difficulty pushing or carrying the log for the pile which implies that they had difficulty to breath properly, as does the the phrase 'Breath came evenly by now', nevertheless, they decide to chant in unison to aid one another to pile the logs, which is hard to do while having breathing problems. This also shows a degree of enjoyment or at least determination because they could simply pile the logs and not need to chant about it.

• '..Laughing with triumphant pleasure..'- This phrase reinforces that idea of enjoyment and determination because having such a laboring task can be relieving when done, as seen with the words 'Triumphant pleasure.

• 'One by one'- This phrase used to describe the boys shows the like-minded feeling of 'Triumphant pleasure' flowing among them, which confirms that they are equals in this moment who have equally accomplished something together that ties them close.

3. How does this impact on the way you 'see' the subject in your mind?This gives me the impression that they are a tight knit of boys because they seem to be having fun while doing a tedious task. Doing this with people you dislike or strangers is much harder, unless they are exhausted and are simply glad to be done. However I that would not explain how they managed to stick together throughout process, excluding for those who 'lost interest,'

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?The author uses auditory imagery.The author describes the setting to be at the top of a mountain where there is a forest where they found fruit and logs. Usually there are various creatures found in forest which

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gives the impression that there would be sounds of them ringing throughout the forest, however only the boys are mentioned so instead it gives the image of silence except for the echoing of the boys chanting. The passage also give the image of short breath slowing to a regular pace as they calm down.

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?These techniques develop the dominant impression of unity and bonds forming from hard conditions.

6. What unique observations had the author made?-Bonds can form in hard conditions/tasks: Hard moments can be tedious and dispiriting but nevertheless, the author has managed to create bonds over this rather than accept the tragedy of the situation.-Younger children loss determination faster/Younger children get distracted more easily than older children: Most of the boys pulled through and managed to complete the task which gave them relief and exhilaration but the younger boys were unable to get interest throughout the task and went to search for fruit instead.-The twins are smart: The author made this evident by saying they have 'unsuspected intelligence' and relating this to the fact that they found leaves to help spread the fire, something that not all people know.

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary usedStaggered- to move of cause the unsteady movement; about to fallTriumphant- to result in victoryLaboring- effort, mental or physicalUnsuspected-not suspicionedShattered

8. Senses usedAuditorySmell

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PASSAGE #4LORD OF THE FLIES

CHAPTER 3• PAGE 67 OF 290

KEY• BOLD: added or changed

• Strikethrough: removed

The droppings were warm and clammy, piling in the middle of turned earth. They were moldy green yet smooth as they steamed,

lifting a putrid odor among him. Jack gaged and looked away only to find an impenetrable masses of creeper that scattered across

the trial. He then scraped his spear against the path to scatter them away before warily sneaking forward. Beyond the creeper,

the trail joined a pig-run that was wide enough and trodden enough to be a path. The ground was hardened by what looked like a pig tread and

as Jack rose to his full height he heard something moving on it. He swung back his right arm and hurled the spear with all his strength. From the

pig-run came the quick, hard patter of hoofs, a castanet sound, relentless, and maddening. He rushed out the undergrowth and

snatched up his spear. The pattering of pig's trotters died away in the distance.

”

“

REWRITE :The droppings were warm. They piled among turned earth. They were olive green, smooth and they steamed a little. Jack lifted his head and stared at the inscrutable masses of creeper that lay across the trial. Then he raised his spear and sneaked forward. Beyond the creeper, the trail joined a pig-run that was wide enough and trodden enough to be a path. The ground was hardened by an accustomed tread and as Jack rose to his full height he heard something moving on it. He swung back his right arm and hurled the spear with ll his strength. From the pig-run came the quick, hard patter of hoofs, a castanet sound, seductive, maddening- the promise of meat. He rushed out the undergrowth and snatched up his spear. The pattering of pig's trotters died away in the distance. ”

“

RATIONALE

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In the original passage, Golding has given the dominant impression of madness and desperation coming from Jack as if he has not connection to humanity, morality or any reason. This was because he acted behaved like a dog by acting like one and had no reaction to it as if it were normal. This made him seem disconnected to reality because he was too focused on finding meat. I changed this dominant impression to a more scared, worried and unsure impression by adding more human characteristics such as emotion. In the first half during the dropping part, the description is that they are warm and 'clammy ' to show that they are sticky and 'moldy' rather than olive green which would more commonly be used to describe eyes or something appealing. I also mentioned that the droppings had an odor and whether they do or don 't people have a tendency to find any considered gross as having a bad smell which would make Jack seem more like a person that is worried rather than a mad dog.

Jack begins to seem crazed as he moves passed the droppings towards were the pig trails are and begins to be entrance by them like 'a castanet sound, seductive, and maddening. ' I changed this to relentless rather than seductive because maddening is now a negative maddening rather than an enticing maddening as it was before. The rest I did not change as his unhesitant snatching of his spear and rushing out of the undergrowth could be seen as an escape out of fear.

TECHNIQUE DISCUSSIONAND IDENTIFICATION

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Golding has used concentrated use of auditory imagery and visual imagery to create the dominant impression of madness and desperation that the passage gives off. In the passage, Jack is on a lone pig hunt and on this hunt he taps into his senses given by Golding that has the madness of a wild dog based on aspect humans would not naturally pick up on or react in such a way as Jack does based on principles and morals that he does not have in this passage.

In the human society, any waste products from the body is seen as filthy and unsanitary, where as with animals, some eat their excretions like rabbits or sniff it like hunting dogs. The humans themselves do not do this, however, Jack disregards this and feels the 'warm', 'smooth' and 'steaming' droppings of a pig. He is also very close to the droppings as he can tell they are steaming. Already three sentences in, it is clear he is not sane. This could be a hunting technique but there are rarely any civilized hunters that still use spears. Jack is also unaffected by being near to the droppings, no facial reaction to the odor or mental remark of the idea that excretion is filthy. Rather than reacting to human ideas and methods of hunting, Jack react to a pigs by the word 'Accustomed.' This was used to describe how he is used to and is able to detect the 'tread' of the pig. He is also walking like an animal because it is only after the accustomed sentence that he 'rose to his full height.' This suggests that he had been on all fours or crawling before hand.

Finally, the aspect where it is best shown the dominant impression of madness and desperation is as Golding describes the sound of hoofs as 'seductive' and 'maddening', to which Jack automatically reacts with 'the promise of meat.' This reveals his true intentions as he 'rushed' out without hesitation to the meat. The sound of the hoofs enticing Jack is well represented by 'castanet sound' as Golding described. The repetitive and rhythmic beat, that draws in Jack like a siren.

DECONSTRUCTION OF PASSAGE 41. What is the subject of this description?The subject is Jack on a pig hunt

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?The author shows what Jack does to find his pigs and how he reacts and feels

towards the chase.

• -'The droppings were warm… they were olive green, smooth and steamed a little.': Jack is determinedly hunting for the pigs and looks for all the clues he can, such as droppings.

• -'Sneaked forward': tries to catch the pig off by surprise

• -'Accustomed thread.': Jack is used to the feel of a pig trail

• -'Jack rose to his full height': shows confidence

• -'He swung back his right arm and hurled his spear with all his strength': Determined to kill the pig.

• -'a castanet sound, seductive, maddening- the promise of meat': Jack is enticed by the sound of the pig and is crazed for it's meat.

3. How does this impact on the way you 'see' the subject in your mind?This makes me see Jack as a crazed boy that has lost all sensibility and is extremely desperate. He is very ambitious to a point where it has become dangerous.

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?The author uses the visual imagery and auditory imagery as Jack uses these senses to track his pig.

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?These techniques develop the dominant impression of desperation and madness on Jack 's part.

6. What unique observations had the author made?-Jack finds the sound of the pigs trottering enticing from wanting it's flesh.

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary usedAccustomed- to get used to, the usual'a castanet sound, seductive, maddening'

8. Senses used: Visual, Kinesthetic and auditory

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