Delirium Russian Style

8/3/2019 Delirium Russian Style

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Delirium Russian StyleA Comedy in Three Acts

by

Natalya Churlyaeva

Translated from Russian

by

Jane H. Buckingham

Natalya ChurlyaevaKolomenskaya 12/42Krasnoyarsk, Russia

[email protected]

Delirium Russian Style by Natalya Churlyaeva


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CHARACTERS

ZINA: a housewife.

JULIE: ZINAS friend and neighbor.

BORIS: ZINAS husband.

ZABULDYGINA: an elderly woman.

LALA: TV correspondent.

GEORDIE: TV cameraman.

HERMAN: a person of unknown origin.



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SETTING

The action takes place in Zinas apartment.

TIME

The present.

SYNOPSIS

A man has a run-in with an elderly woman at a bus stop, but his wife does notbelieve his story. Instead, she accuses him of having an affair with their next-doorneighbor and her good friend who is visiting her. The man finds a witness of theincident and brings him home. Meanwhile, the elderly woman, who happens tobe the mother of a prominent member of society, decides to get even and breaksinto their home after summoning the media. The witness turns out to be anextraterrestrial agent sent to Earth, thus giving the media a field day.



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I-1

Act One

Sitting at the dresser, ZINA applies makeup to oneside of her face.

ZINAThe-ere. Very goodor not very? Of course it is, simply remarkable! Although no,its completely not remarkable. Who do you want to deceive, Zina? Yourself?Indeed, its been a long time since you were young Well, even if its so? Andwhats this not young? Better to say far from being old. Youre only Nevermind So that therell be nothing to fear. Lets take the new shadow

(Picks up a bottle.)How bright! They say these arent in vogue anymore Never mind, lets, try isnttorture

(Examines half of her face in the mirror.)

Hmm It seems not bad And if we add a little of the old shadow? ThereAlready better Interesting, how will the eyeliner look against this background?Horrid! Never learn to line the eye my whole life Okay, thatll do If we stillpencil it a little more, then it wont show that I never learned

(Looks in the mirror.)No! Doesnt quite work. Have to make it more striking Have to be thicker Sothe eye would seem bigger Can leave it like this Now the lashes Lets seewhat mascara we have

(Paints the lashes of one eye.)There! Done with one eye Wow! Not bad, the eye really turned out! Hmm Theeyes so striking, but no eyebrows What to do? Where to get eyebrows if there

arent any? Just have to draw them They say eyebrows are in fashion nowThere Dont know if its good, but on the whole, if we consider it together withthe eye, it seems it turned out pretty well If, of course, we dont pay anyattention to the fact that Im terribly pale Even rather grey! Need to apply alittle more blush There Seems excessive. So, Im no longer grey but almostcrimson Phew! Ends with powder Okay, well do the lips for now, and thenwell see

(Puts on lipstick.)Bad, of course, that my lips are thin Ah, how I would like to have full lips! Sothat all the guys would lick theirs when I walk down the street Thats what Ineed, lips

(Someone rings the doorbell. ZINA jumps in alarm and it becomes clearthat half of her face is badly smeared while the other half looks verypale.)

ZINA (contd)Oh! Who could this be? I expect no one, Boris has gone out for a long time No,no, I wont open the door! You never know what


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I-2

(BORIS appears after some time.)

ZINAIts you? How you scared me... Returned already?

BORISWhy didnt you open the door? Too lazy to go to the door?

ZINAWhats with you, like a mad dog on the loose? An icicle fell on you?

BORISWhat icicle?

(Looks attentively at ZINA, tries to figure out what is wrong.)Whats with an icicle?

ZINAWhy are you looking at me like that?

BORISNothing. It seems to me that theres something different about you.

ZINAWhat?

BORISCant say what right away, but I think you look somewhat strange.

ZINATheres nothing strange about me.

BORISYoure sure about this? Well, you know better.

ZINADont talk to me in that tone.

BORIS

What tone? Im talking to you in the usual tone.

ZINAExactly, the usual. Insult me as usual, mock me as usual...

BORISI dont insult and I dont mock.


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ZINAYes, you do! You constantly mock me.

BORISHow do I mock you?

ZINAOver anything. Anyway you can. Sadist!

BORISDont talk to me that way.

ZINAIm not talking to you in any way.

BORISYes, you do!

ZINANo, I dont! And I dont intend to talk.

BORISGreat if you shut up.

ZINAAnd dont you tell me what and what not to do! Look at that, what has hebecome...

BORISAnd according to you, what have I become?

ZINAA tyrant!

BORISMe? A tyrant?

ZINAYes, you! Precisely, a tyrant!

BORISZina, I refuse to understand you.

ZINAHere understand something else. Should take a look at yourself from someoneelses eyes.


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I-4

BORISWhy?

ZINATo see how ridiculous you are.

BORISYou look at yourself!

(Finally notices ZINAS unnatural skin tone and starts to laugh aloud.)Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

ZINAWhy are you laughing? I didnt say anything funny.

BORISHa! Ha! Ha! Ha!

ZINAStop it right now! You hear? Shut up! Dont you dare make fun of me!

BORISZina, Im not! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I just cant stop! You remind me of a clown! Ha!Ha! Ha! Ha! No need to go to the circus with you...

ZINAYou never take me there!

BORIS

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Why to the circus?

ZINAYou never take me anywhere at all!

BORISListening to you, I spend days sitting near you.

ZINAThe problem is that youre not near me. If youd sit near me, there would be moresense from you.

BORISDo you want to say theres little sense from me?

ZINATheres no sense from you at all.

BORIS


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I-5

Do you want to say that you have a worthless husband? Do you want to say that?

ZINAWhat, isnt it really so?

BORISWhy do you live with me if Im so bad?

ZINAWhy bad?

BORISBecause you said so.

ZINAMe?

BORISYes, you! You just said so.

ZINADont make things up. I couldnt have said that to you.

BORISHow couldnt if you just did? I heard it with my own ears.

ZINAYou couldnt have heard it with your ears.

BORISSo, you think I cant hear with my ears already? Then why do they grow on myhead?

ZINAEars dont grow on the head.

BORISThen what are they doing there?

ZINAThey stick out.

BORISLook at your own ears!

ZINAWhy?


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I-6

BORISYou think theyre glued to the back of your head? Like antennae, turning indifferent directions!

ZINADont babble nonsense.

BORISI dont have such a habit.

ZINAThen why do you say like antennae?

BORISBecause.

ZINADo you want to say that I have big ears?

BORISWhat, are they small perhaps? If things go in one ear and out the other...

ZINALoudmouth! Mama always told me that my ears are small and pretty...

BORISAnd spin around like antennae.

ZINAEnough! Stop! Only hear nonsense from you.

BORISSo, now Im even stupid too?

ZINAWhy now?

BORIS

Because earlier I havent heard you calling me stupid.

ZINAAnd have you heard me calling you smart?

BORISYes, I have!

(Tugs at his own ears.)


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I-7

With these same ears!

ZINA(Sighs.)

Here we go again.

BORISWhat again?

ZINAAgain I turned out to be right. As always.

BORISDont understand.

ZINAWhat dont you understand?

BORISHow did you turn out to be right? Even if not always, at least this time?

ZINAThat your ears are no good at all.

BORISYoure not giving my ears any peace again? Are you making up stories about themagain?

ZINAYoure doing it.

BORISI do?

ZINAYea, you! Claim that I only say bad things about you, then turn around that I callyou smart. And constantly refer to your own ears. Whats the logic?

BORIS

What does logic have to do with this?

ZINAHows this what? Dont you indeed understand that I couldnt have said suchthings in principle?

BORISWhat couldnt you have said in principle?


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I-8

ZINAThat youre smart!

BORIS

It turns out that you think Im so stupid that I can never be called smart inprinciple? Do you want to say that your husband is an idiot?

ZINANo, I dont...

BORISWhat? So Im just a fool?

ZINAI didnt say that.

BORISYou didnt but you wanted to... Right? Answer what youre being asked!

ZINAI dont answer provocative questions.

BORISWhy is it provocative?

ZINABecause... You know why.

BORISListen, if you dont answer me now...

ZINAWhat? Youre going to hit me?

BORISHave I ever hit you even once?

ZINA

For shame, hit... Its a shame listening to you. Who say such thing?

BORISHows that?

ZINACrude.


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I-9

BORISEveryone does... Crude.

ZINAWhos everyone? And where do these everyone express themselves so crudely?

BORISMust listen with attention! You criticize my ears, but your own are a thousandtimes worse. Mine at least can hear something, but yours hear nothing at all.Despite that you train them all day in front of the TV. You listen, you listen, butyou dont understand that only baffling nonsense flows from it.

ZINAWhy have you decided that I must understand with my ears?

BORISWhy with the ears?

ZINAThats what Im asking you, why with the ears? How can I understand with myears if other organs quite different from the ears are intended for this?

BORISDont know about you, but the rest of the people use the head for this...

(Looks at a haughtily silent ZINA.)Well, what do you say? Got it finally?

ZINA

What should I have gotten?

BORISThat your husband is far from the fool that you take him for.

ZINAAnd what then is he, my husband?

BORISIm your husband! Then and now. How many years have you lived with me andyou still dont get anything?

ZINAWell, what changes it?

BORISIn what sense?

ZINA


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I-10

Your wit.

BORISDont understand.

ZINAYoure what, proud of it? Its a great achievement to be my husband? Do youreally think that one thing makes you smarter than you are by nature?

BORIS(Confused.)

Dont know... Maybe.

ZINANo, it cant be so! Nothing can be so.

BORISWho cant be so?

ZINAYou.

BORISSo, nothing cant be for me, but everything must be for you.

ZINAYes. What were you thinking? Only not with a husband like you.

BORISHow so?

ZINAWith a husband like you, not that I have everything, unlikely anything will showup for me at all.

BORISAnd what do you still need? What isnt enough for you?

ZINA

Everything! There isnt enough of everything! Wipe your eyes! Look around inevery store window.

BORISTheres nothing for you to look at there. You indeed have everything.

ZINAI have nothing.


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I-11

BORISWell, you do know its really cheeky on your part, so to speak.

ZINA

Youre being cheeky to dispute the facts. I have nothing, absolutely nothing thatone can be proud of.

BORISWhat does it mean can be proud of? I dont understand your statement.

ZINAHow can you understand. In order to understand, you need to have some organother than ears. Youre like living in a vacuum. Youre completely unaware ofwhats going on around you.

BORISI notice everything. Perhaps you didnt notice, but I immediately remarked thattoday youre the spitting image of a clown.

ZINAWha-at? Are you at me again? Why do you particularly want to infuriate me?

BORISDo I have to do that? Youre in a bad temper by nature.

ZINANot by nature, Im that way from life.

BORISWho isnt? You think Im not?

ZINA(Calms down.)

Thats what Im talking about. In our time, nice people are nowhere to be found.

BORISThats true. But then no need to look for the angry ones, full of them. All mad ashell... Especially the old women. Just now for no rhythm or reason, one such

banged me on the head with her string bag.

ZINAReally? You? A string bag? On the head? What for?

BORISNothing. I didnt do anything to her, just wanted to get on the bus, but she wasstanding on the steps. As soon as I started to get on, she snapped at me, Where


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I-12

are you barging to, you blockhead? Cant see, perhaps? I politely answered, Ican see. She got even more furious. If you can see, step back! Let people getoff! I didnt even have time to understand anything and she banged me on thehead with her bag! I saw sparks in my eyes. Did she carry bricks in there? But shewouldnt pipe down. Started to push me off the bus, and how she pushed.

ZINAAnd you kept quiet as usual?

BORISI would have if I wasnt so mad that I couldnt stand it and really gave it to her.

ZINAAnd then?

BORISNothing more. I turned around and came home upset. For a long time she wasstill yelling all sorts of nonsense at me, Ill put you in jail for life! Ill sit thereuntil you croak! And stuff like that.

ZINAWhat a nightmare! What will people say now?

BORISWhat people?

ZINAThe ones who saw how badly you behaved to an old lady.

BORISFirst, she wasnt a lady but an old witch. Secondly, shes the one behaving badly,not me. And thirdly, there werent any special people there.

ZINAThere werent people there?

BORISYea... some passers-by.

ZINAAnd you dont consider passers-by people? What are they then? Aliens, maybe?

BORISWho can figure them out? Maybe also aliens.

(There is a knock on the door.)


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I-13

ZINA(Steps out.)

You yourself are an alien!

BORIS

Im not an alien... Im Russian... Although, if you think about it, whats thedifference? Probably, we, as Russians, are closer to aliens than results ofevolution. From microbes to monkeys and from monkeys to businessmen. So?We also have little resemblance to these results... And weve great difficulty withthe intermediate stages of evolution. At least, we cant have monkeys orbusinessmen at large. In order for them to survive here, they need cages, mattersnot if the cages are simple or gold... And what businessmen there! In our winter,even microbes disappear. So there...

(ZINA and JULIE walk in.)

BORIS (contd)Clear?

ZINAClear! Everythings clear.

BORISWhats clear to you?

ZINAHow you behave in public. Just wouldnt shut up.

BORISAnd how do I behave? If some nasty old hag is going to hit me on the head with abag...

JULIEIf it were some! The fact is its not some.

BORISHow do you know? My Zina has already managed to report to you?

JULIE

Not she to me but I to her! I saw this disgrace with my own eyes.

BORISAgreed, the scene was a disgrace, but I wasnt at fault. And you, as our neighborand a friend of my wife, should confirm that it wasnt a disgrace on my part.

JULIEDo you hear? I havent even said a word, not half a word to him, and hes already


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I-14

justifying himself.

ZINAHe always does that.

BORISNo, not always.

ZINAAlways. When youre not rude.

JULIEAnd not fighting with old women.

BORISI didnt fight with her. She hit me on the head with the bag.

ZINAJulie, what happened exactly?

JULIEI tell you, our Boris, at the bus stop, didnt manage to get on the bus...

ZINAWait, wait. Why do you say our?

JULIEWell fine, fine, not our but your. Your Boris, after Zabuldygins mother clonked

him on the head with the bag, rushed at her and started to shout that hell killher...

ZINAWhat? Zabuldygins mother?

BORISI had no intention of killing anyone! And I havent the faintest idea about anyZabuldygin.

JULIE

As I see it, youve certainly done a good job. Dont know Zabuldygin.

BORISNo, I dont.

JULIEDo you know how to live without heat in the winter? We already dream about thisZabuldygin instead of decent guys, but he, it turns out, hasnt the faintest idea


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I-16

there are no people, would I knock her off? Is that what you think?

ZINAIts not our opinion, it appears that way in your opinion.

JULIEI think no one would notice Boris in a dark alley. And then he could cause troubleto nobody. But this way he has put us all in a very unpleasant situation. When itreaches Zabuldygin that some good-for-nothing threatened in front of everybodyto bump off his mother...

BORISBut I didnt threaten to bump her off! I simply said to her, Ill nail you, oldwitch, and thats all.

ZINAIt doesnt change the essence of the matter.

JULIEIts worse! Its worse than bumping her off.

ZINAJulie, dont exaggerate. Nail or bump off, its essentially one and the same.

JULIENo, its not. Nailing, its worse, much worse than bumping off.

ZINA

Not worse. And dont argue with me! Think, to nail... Here to bump off, yes. Its infact very, very bad.

JULIEWhat, it turns out, in your opinion, bumping someone off is very bad, but justnailing him, on the other hand, is even very good? Is that so?

BORISNo, its not.

ZINA

Here, you heard? Dont worry, Boris isnt the only one who talks nonsense.

BORISNonsense doesnt suit me. Im not you broads talking nonsense.

ZINAFilth suits you! Where did you see broads here?


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I-17

BORISDid I really say here? And I havent done anything nasty.

JULIEWhat do you mean you havent, if you played such a dirty trick on us all that now

youll never bail yourself out?

BORISIf you go on again about this lousy old hag, then I have absolutely nothing to dowith it here.

ZINAWhere, here?

BORISDid I really say here? Must be I used the word having in mind everywhere.

JULIESo, it seems, you have nothing to do with it everywhere? Perhaps its not you but Iwho should be blamed when our heaters freeze and lights cut off?

BORISPerhaps you or perhaps someone else. In any case, I have nothing to do withproblems of municipal services.

JULIEOh, you shameless man! You with your wild behavior aggravate these problemsto the extreme! Why did you attack Zabuldygina? Why threaten to kill her?

ZINABoris, I really cant imagine what will happen to us if they cut off our light andheat. Our people will rip you to shreds! And me together with you.

BORISWe always have something cut off. Either light, or heat, or something else. Andhere I have nothing to do with it. Besides, I repeat again: I didnt hit Zabuldyginabut she hit me... With a bag on the head...

(Touches his head.)And very painful at that.

ZINANo one saw it. If someone did, he wouldnt think much of an old womanaccidentally tapping you. And even if he did, he would in no way admit it.

BORISWhy not?


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I-19

ZINAWhat slip of the tongue did he make?

JULIE

Well... That you look like a clown in general.

ZINAMe? Like a clown?

BORISYes, like a clown.

ZINAYou are clowns! Both of you! Put on some vulgar farce in front of me!

BORISWhy would Julie and I put on a farce? Im just upset with this old shrew, camehome, wanted to dine in peace, and then...

ZINAAnd then go meet Julie! But she couldnt wait and came tearing along for thedate.

JULIEWha-at?

ZINA

Yes, a date! You never suspected that I didnt go out at all today.

JULIEWhy not?

ZINA(Triumphantly.)

Because I told you yesterday that I intend to spend the whole day at the beautysalon! Didnt I tell you that Id spare no money, that theyd create a miracle forme there? Didnt I?

JULIEYou did. So?

ZINASo you believed me, and rushed over here!

BORIS(Looks at ZINA.)


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I-20

And they created this miracle for money?

JULIEDont worry, Boris, she did the make-up herself, for free.

ZINANo, not for free! Not free at all! See?(Picks up the cosmetics and shows them.)

See? Do you know how much all this costs? Youll never guess the sum in yourwildest dreams!

BORISIf in rubles, definitely not. I only dream in greenbacks...

ZINANo, not in rubles! If it were in rubles... What a fool I am! Spent so much moneyand all for nothing. It turns out they lied to me! Who? My husband and mygirlfriend...

BORISWha-at? With her? If that doesnt beat all!

ZINA (contd)Together made up some Zabuldygina... There was no Zabuldygina! You just

wanted to cheat on me, have a tte--tte...

JULIEWhy would I want to have a tte--tte with him?

ZINABecause...

JULIEAnd nobody except you needs him! Everybodys tired of him! Its impossible tolive with him at all!

ZINA(Turns to BORIS.)

Heard that? Heres how you live with her.

BORISHow?

ZINAThat youve already managed to bore her! In fact, not just with me, youre alreadyinterfering with her life also...


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JULIEOf course he does! Just think, Zina, after his fight withZabuldygina such a thingcan start, a thing that its even scary to imagine...

ZINA

I dont believe you.

JULIEWhy?

ZINABecause there was no Zabuldygina. You made her up especially, for conspiracy.

BORISThere was! There was a Zabuldygina... Though, maybe not Zabuldygina at all butsome crazy old woman.

ZINAThere was no old woman.

BORISWhy wasnt there?

ZINABecause old women dont fight with grown men. You feed me all sorts of baloneyand you yourself...

BORIS

Fine! Ill bring you witnesses who saw everything. Real witnesses, not like yourfriend the chatterbox here...

JULIEIm not a chatterbox!

BORISChatterbox...

(Goes out.)And in principle I wouldnt have anything to do with such as you...

JULIE(Follows.)

Why not? Because Im not like a clown?

ZINAPerhaps thats why... Because my Boris only likes clowns... Like his wife.

JULIE


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I-22

So stay with him, if you suit each other so well.

ZINAAnd you?

JULIEIm going and Ill tell people whom your Boris would think of fighting with. Letthem prepare for the worst ahead of time.

ZINAYoure not going anywhere.

JULIEWhat do you mean Im not going?

ZINAThat means youll sit here like a dear until he returns.

JULIEWhy?

ZINAPeople disturb nothing before its time. Maybe there was even no Zabuldygina.

JULIEThere was.

ZINA

And if there was, theres nothing to fear. Sit here for the time being and wait.

JULIEWait for what?

ZINAI dont know. Maybe something good.

JULIEHow long do we have to wait... Okay, well wait. Well see whom he brings back...

(Silent.)

Listen, Zina, do you have anything tasty?

ZINAWhat do you think? Not only tasty, but also strong.

JULIEThen I agree to wait till at least tomorrow. Well sit and wait to see whom Boriswill find...


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I-23


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II-1

Act Two

ZINA and JULIE sit at the table. On the table arerefreshments and bottles.

JULIEOh, Zina, I dont know what to say. But in my informed opinion, we are truemartyrs.

ZINATrue, Julie, martyrs. I already have such a hard time with my Boris, such a hardtime. I have no more strength... Do you understand me?

JULIEI do. I always understand you very well... Here only one thing I dont know at all.

ZINAWhat?

JULIEHow could you come up with such nonsense?

ZINAWhat nonsense?

JULIEAs if Boris and I would cheat on you.

ZINAYou have to excuse me, Julie... Just that I can tell you one thing: if you had livedwith him as I have, then thats not the only nonsense you would come up with.

JULIEI wouldnt.

ZINAWhy not?

JULIEBecause I, as different from you, Zina, am a sober person.

ZINAYou? A sober person? After all that weve had to drink?

JULIENot that, Zina.


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II-2

ZINAThen what?

JULIE

In the sense that Im a person with common sense. Well, that Im always thinkingsober thoughts.

ZINAYou? Sober thoughts? As long as Ive known you, youve never think any thoughtsat all!

JULIEWell, dont say that... I do... I do think. You just havent noticed it.

ZINAYou? Think? About what? What can you think about, Julie?

JULIEAbout different things... About myself... And about others too... In fact, abouteverything under the sun.

ZINAAh-h... Understood. Julie, maybe you think of everything under the sun, but youcant come up with anything specific.

JULIEWhy? I can come up with something specific... And very easily.

ZINAWhat, easily?

JULIEYes, easily.

ZINAThen come up with something! If its so easy for you.

JULIE

Please...(Pretends to think.)

I already have...

ZINAThats great... Sit down and think... Perhaps first time in your life... By the way,Julie, what specifically can one think about?


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II-3

JULIEI already told you. Anything you like.

ZINANaturally. Nowadays you can think anything you like.

JULIENowadays not only can you think anything you like, but also do anything youwant.

ZINAExactly, Julie. So why think if you can do right away?

JULIEThats what I tell you.

ZINASo lets do something. Why think for nothing?

JULIEOnly must do something so... So... Even scary to think about!

ZINASomething scary to think about?

(In embarrassment.)No, no, only not that!

JULIE

What, not what?

ZINAI will not cheat on Boris.

JULIEWhat does your Boris has to do with it?

ZINAYou really didnt have that in mind?

JULIEWhat?

ZINAThat I cheat on him.

JULIEYouve never, really?


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II-4

ZINAWhats it to you? Why do you have to know whether I have or havent cheated onhim?

JULIEIts absolutely all the same to me! What difference is it to me whether you two-timed him or not?

ZINAThen why do you try to force me to do it, if its all the same to you?

JULIE(Dumbfounded.)

Me? Force you?

ZINAYea, you! Who else? Who proposed to me to do what I shouldnt even thinkabout?

JULIEWhy shouldnt you?

ZINABecause once you start thinking about it, then ultimately, it will be.

JULIEWhat will be?

(Shows an interest.)Here try, Zina. Imagine to yourself that youve already cheated on him.

ZINAWith whom?

JULIEAt least with a millionaire.

ZINAWith what millionaire? With our millionaire perhaps?

JULIEWhy not? Is our millionaire any worse than others?

ZINANo, it wont work with ours.

JULIE


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II-6

wait? No need to dillydally. Must act before life shows us its backside.

JULIEWhat have I been telling you? Definitely must do something. And definitelysomething so... Something so out of the ordinary.

ZINAWhat, for example?

JULIEExample? Well, example... So, right away you dont consider that...

(Glances at a newspaper.)Aha, here! Listen...

(Picks up the newspaper and reads.)Show up at the exotic dance contest at the nightclub Iceberg... Well, what doyou say to that?

ZINADo you want us to go dancing at a nightclub?

JULIEYou dont want to?

ZINA(Uncertainly.)

Well... I dont know how itll look.

JULIE

Very simple. Everything is written here. Arrive before 11 p.m., register for thecontest, and wait your turn. Then when you turn comes, start dancing. Thats all.As you can see, everything is very simple. Only consider, have to dance so well inorder to get first place.

ZINAWhy must it be first? Isnt it enough for us to be second?

JULIENo Zina, not enough.

ZINAWhy?

JULIEThey promise a car for first, but only a case of beer for second, nothing more.

ZINAOho! A real car?


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II-7

JULIENo only real, but new... A new car, understand?

ZINA

Julie, Im game... Only it seems to me our chance of winning the car is not great.

JULIEWhy?

ZINAThink about it. Weve never danced anywhere except at parties.

JULIEExactly, weve danced at parties! That means, we know very well what a drunkaudience wants.

ZINABut its not just an audience! Its an audience in a nightclub, and not from theentrance next door.

JULIEThats just what the guy from second floor at the next entrance does, goes tonightclubs.

ZINAIs that the one who quickly bought two apartments and turned them into one?

JULIENo, the other one. But the one you talk about also hangs out at nightclubs quiteoften. True, lately hes seen more in the casino.

ZINA(Sighs.)

Only where do people get their money?

JULIEFrom camels.

ZINAFrom what camels?

JULIEProbably Tajik camels.

ZINAWhy Tajik? There are no Tajik camels.


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II-8

JULIEWell, so from Afghan. What difference is it to you? Let others crack their headsover this, now we have to think of something quite different.

ZINAWhat about?

JULIEAbout how were going to win the new car.

ZINAI think... Only I cant come up with anything.

JULIEThen listen to me carefully... Are you listening?

ZINAIm listening.

JULIEFirst, we have to create a special public image.

ZINAWhat kind of image?

JULIEThe kind that no one can recognize us, before or after the dance.

ZINAYou think so? But Im thinking just the opposite.

JULIEWhat opposite?

ZINAIm thinking that well become famous, and everyone on the street...

JULIE

No way! In the first place, well become famous only if we win the car. If we lose,then were bound to become the universal laughing stock.

ZINAAh-h... Understood... Only I cant imagine to myself what public image would bebest in this situation.

JULIE


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36/72

II-10

Exotic, of course! What else? The most complete, with stripping.

ZINANaked?

JULIEWell, naked, not naked... At least, until they give us the car, well have to strip...Yes, Zina, only this and no other way.

ZINA(Uncertainly.)

Julie, but cant it happen that we drop all our clothes and they dont award us thecar?

JULIEThey will. Zina, they will for sure. If we drop all our clothes, then no competitorswill be scary for us.

ZINAYoure sure?

JULIEHundred percent.

ZINAWhat if therere still some young girl come out stripping?

JULIE

So what? Even if some snot foolishly decides to strip, indeed, shell definitely bealone, but well go out together. This is one. And then therell be the two of ustogether and already not so young as she, which is very sexy in itself. This is two.That is, imagine: you and I together, and besides, far from being old. And withsuch a stunning image! This is three.

ZINAYes? Well, okay, consider that youve convinced me. I also think that with such animage as ours, unlikely someone will still dare to come out to the audience.

JULIE

Understand whats the appeal now? Then, come on, turn on the music and wellstart practicing.

ZINALets start...

(Switches on the music.)Only have to move the chairs back so they wont be in the way...


37/72

II-11

(ZINA and JULIE start to move quite artfully to the music.)

JULIEZina, follow the rhythm! Dont forget, this isnt just a dance but an exotic one...On the count of three shed your sweater! Ready?

ZINAFine! Im ready...

JULIEOne... Two... Three...

(ZINA and JULIE cast off their sweaters.)

ZINAJulie, it seems to me that we need to be bolder... Dont forget whom well beperforming in front of!

JULIELike you say, Zina... Can be bolder... On the count of three, take off the skirt!One... Two... Three...

(ZINA and JULIE take off their skirts and throw them in the direction ofBORIS and HERMAN entering.)

ZINABolder! I tell you, even bolder! More rhythmic and bolder...

JULIEAll right... Bolder, so bolder... Lets continue... Are you ready to continue?

ZINAReady!

BORISBut Im not ready!

HERMANBoris Arkadevich, why are you interfering with a creative process?

BORISQuiet, Herman! How did you get here? Intergalactionovich. This is my wife!

HERMANSo?

BORIS


38/72

II-12

What, dont you understand? She wants to be completely naked!

HERMANSo?

BORISIts so scary!

JULIE(Stops dancing.)

Zina, did you hear what he said?

ZINAWho?

JULIEYour Boris! He said that if you strip, its so scary.

BORISI didnt say that!

ZINAWhat, what?

(Switches off the music.)Well, repeat it.

BORISIm not repeating anything.

ZINAWhom did you bring? And why do you try to convince him that your wife isntpretty?

HERMANHell never be able to convince me of this. Youre pretty...

(Turns to JULIE.)And you too... Very pretty. If, of course, we dont pay attention to your head.

BORIS

Exactly! Right away, its obvious that youre a guy, Herman.

JULIENo such thing is obvious right away. At least not the first impression.

HERMANDo you doubt that Im a man?


39/72

II-13

JULIEMaybe you are. You do look it, but are you a man? That cant be made out, notright away.

HERMAN

Excuse me, but youve lost me. What do you have in mind? Is it good or bad to bea man?

JULIEAnd you really dont understand this?

HERMANIndeed no.

ZINAJulie, why do you keep at it? If the man doesnt understand this, it means he isnta man.

BORISStop talking nonsense! Do you want to say that hes a skirt?

JULIEWe want to say that if he doesnt like us, then he isnt a man.

HERMANBut why did you decide that I dont like you? I even like you very much. I repeat,if I dont pay attention to your head.

ZINABut what dont you like about Julies head?

HERMANNot only Julies... Is that her name? A very pretty name.

ZINASo, she has a pretty name, but not a pretty head? Is that so?

HERMANNot quite. But one thing I can definitely confirm: in its psycho-physical

characteristics, her head is no worse than yours.

ZINAWha-at? You dont like my head either? Boris! Do I show him the door or do youdeal with him yourself?

BORISI didnt bring him here in order to show him the door.


40/72

II-14

ZINAHe insults me, calls me all sorts, and I dont have the right to show him the door?

JULIE

Zina, not only you, but he also insults me. He doesnt like my head, you see.Fancy that, how picky! So, everybody but you likes it?

HERMANDid I really say I dont ?

JULIEReally not?

BORISYour head is completely empty. Who can like such a head?

HERMANIt isnt whether the head is empty or not. Its just her head... This head... It...

JULIEWell? What? What about the head?

HERMANJust that with such a head youre like...

BORISA clown.

ZINAYoure at this again? Listen, youre driving me nuts! Julie, all day today he wontgive me any peace! Only hear from him: clown, clown, clown! What Ill give younow for these words!

JULIERight, Zina! Let him have it! And for me too. Give it to him right in the nose so hewont be rude to women.

HERMAN

Excuse me! Boris Arkadevich is right. Both of you actually look like clowns. If, ofcourse, just looking at your heads. But if we pay attention past your heads toother parts of your body, then it reminds me... No, Id better not say it, else youcan give it to me in the nose too.

ZINANot give but hit.


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44/72

II-18

You are the savage! You go nowhere, good at nothing, dont know what people innightclubs do, and you talk.

BORISMe? Good at nothing? And you know that I... And I...

ZINAEnough of you, shut your mouth. As if I dont know you... Look, the guy candance, how he dances, and you...

BORISI dance no worse than he.

(ZINA and JULIE laugh.)

BORISWhat, you dont believe me? I can show you...

(BORIS starts to dance together with HERMAN and is also quite good.)

JULIEWow! Zina, I never thought that your Boris dances so well.

ZINAAnd I also didnt suspect it myself... Heres some skunk! How long weve livedtogether, how often weve been guests, and he never once danced with his ownwife... Just you wait, Ill make sure you have a fun life. Youll find out from me fordancing with strange chicks, keeping a secret from me.

JULIEZina, maybe he had never danced with anyone?

ZINAHow could that be?

JULIEMaybe he was busy with amateur art activities in childhood? And besides, not fornothing. See, they dance better than we do! This way they can win the car withoutus...

ZINAAnd well show them now whos better...

(Gets ready to dance.)Now well show them...

JULIERight, Zina, lets show them!


45/72

II-19

(All four dance together.)

HERMANWonderful! Boris Arkadevich, Look! Weve formed two exotic pairs!

JULIENo... Not quite... For now, only Zina and I look exotic, you and Boris lookordinary.

BORISThats not a problem for us... Herman, are you ready? On the count of three, welllook exotic!

HERMANIf its so necessary to be exotic, then Im ready.

BORISOne... Two... Three!

(BORIS and HERMAN first take off their jackets, then their ties.)

ZINAGreat! Now well definitely win the car!

JULIEAnd well go to the countryside in it! All together!

ZINAWhy all together? Do you think that Herman has no one to go to the countrysidewith?

HERMANThere really is no one for me to go to the countryside with. And Id be very happyto go with Julie...If, of course, by that time, her head looks a little less exotic...

(SABULDYGINA appears. The dancers do not immediately notice her.)

BORIS

Youre really stuck on her head... Dont look at her head, you had better twist yourhips more energetically... And you ladies, dont be lazy, else we wont get anycar...

SABULDYGINAAha... So thats what it is... I see... So thats what I've gotten to... Well, stop! Stop,I say!


46/72

II-20

BORISWhats this?

HERMANWhos interrupting our rehearsal?

ZINAWhos this? Whos the old bag?

(Switches off the music, the dancers stop.)How did she get into our home?

SABULDYGINAThis isnt a home! This is a den! A criminal hideout! A den of thieves! A nest ofdebauchery! And youre all libertines here.

ZINAWha-at? And who are you? A burglar perhaps?

JULIEZina, this is no burglar, this is Zabuldygina.

BORISShes the one who hit me on the head with a bag.

SABULDYGINAAnd you wanted to kill me!

BORIS

I didnt want to kill anybody!

SABULDYGINAYes, you did!

BORISI have a witness...

(Turns to HERMAN.)Herman, tell them.

HERMAN

I can confirm that all Boris Arkadevich said to this woman was that he...

SABULDYGINAWhat Arkadevich? A naked pervert who wanted to kill me?

JULIEWhere do you see naked? Hes not naked...


47/72

II-21

SABULDYGINASo Ill have him naked! Ill ruin him naked!

HERMANWhy?

SABULDYGINABecause Ill not only pull down his shirt, but also his pants! Do you know what Ican do with your Arkadevich?

HERMANHow would I know? I just dont understand how you, to put it mildly, an elderlywoman, will be able to remove his pants from him, a man not yet old? Unless, ofcourse, he wants to.

ZINAHell never want to.

SABULDYGINABut Im not asking him! Ill pull down his pants and thats all!

HERMANWhy do you want his pants?

ZINAShe doesnt want his pants, she wants him! Dont you understand? Shes afterhim!

HERMANWhy?

ZINABecause she needs him like a man.

SABULDYGINAWhy the heck do I need this degenerate? Besides, like a man...

ZINAYoure the old degenerate! Glued yourself to him, tracked him down, barged into

our home...

SABULDYGINAI dont need him!

HERMANThen what do you need?


48/72

II-22

SABULDYGINAI need his money, money!

ZINAWhat money? For what?

SABULDYGINAFor emotional distress!

(Turns to BORIS.)Did you promise to kill me? You did. Did you badger me with bad words? Youdid. In a word, you mocked from your heart a poor woman. Made fun to yourhearts content. But now, my dear, time to pay for the fun, and pay plenty. And ifyou dont pay, Ill take you to court!

BORISIts you, old witch, who should pay for hitting me on the head with a bag!

SABULDYGINANobody saw this.

BORISYou lie, old witch! I have a witness who saw it.

SABULDYGINANo, did not! But then everyone heard how you promised to kill me!

BORIS(Turns to HERMAN.)

Herman! Confirm the fact that she hit me on the head with a bag.

HERMANYes, as a witness of this incident, I confirm this fact and can even appear in courtif asked...

SABULDYGINAYou? In court? A naked pervert will appear in court? This will be hilarious!

(Laughs and points to ZINA and JULIE.)And take them with you!

HERMANWhy?

SABULDYGINAAnd perhaps these hussies will go to court naked with you?

JULIEWhy naked? You must think we have nothing to wear.


49/72

II-23

ZINAJulie, why should we go to court? You cant find justice there.

JULIE

True. Why should we go to court? Better to go on TV then...

SABULDYGINALook at that, how smart! You think youre the only one so smart? I sent for themalready! Theyll expose you! Theyll film you perverts and bullies here and showthe world...

ZINAYou yourself are an old bully! Get out of here...

(Tries to turn SABULDYGINA out.)Get out, go! Barged into someone elses home, troublemaker, and still...

SABULDYGINADont touch me! Just you wait, theyll come and well figure out right away who isthe troublemaker here...

JULIEWell figure out alright.

HERMANI doubt it very much.

JULIE

Well wait and see.

HERMANIf youll live...


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53/72

III-4

Zina, shes not only shouting about you. Shes insulting all of us here... Heres amean old hag! Honestly, would have killed her with my own hands.

HERMANIs it possible not to resort to so strong a means...

BORISWhat?

HERMANWell, for starters, exchange mutual insults at least?

ZINAWhat next! Are we going to stoop to some...

JULIEExactly, Zina. Gods may do what cattle may not.

HERMANDo you want to say that the lady behind the door is a god?

BORISShes more like the Devil than a lady...

(There is a rumble behind the door and the shouts,If you dont open, Illbreak down the door!)

ZINA

Boris, must do something! Shell break our door!

BORISHave no fear. Shell likely break her own neck than a steel door.

HERMANNo door will protect you if a key solution isnt adopted in relation to her.

BORISWhat solution?

HERMANYou clearly formulated it from the very beginning...

BORISWhat?

HERMANAnd Julie supported such actions...


54/72

III-5

JULIEWhat actions?

BORIS

What are the actions that we can take not to hear such screams?

ZINAAnd never see this disgusting old bag anymore?

HERMANCan only guarantee this if Boris Arkadevich finally carries out the promise givento her.

BORISWhat promise?

HERMANYou promised to nail her. Isnt that so?

BORISWha-at?

JULIEThats impossible.

HERMANWhy?

JULIEBecause she has a son Zabuldygin. If he finds out...

ZINAHell only thank us.

BORISAre you serious? Kill a human being?

ZINA

This Zabuldygina isnt a human being.

HERMANWho said so?

JULIESaid what?


55/72

III-6

HERMANThat this Zabuldygina isnt a human being.

ZINAA human being cant shout this way.

BORISAnd wont fight with a bag in public transit.

JULIEAnd wont kick a steel door like this...

(HERMAN is very perplexed. He is the focus of attention.)

BORISWhats with you?

JULIEHerman, whats the matter with you?

ZINAAre you okay?

HERMANIf youre of the opinion that she isnt a human being... Hmm... In that case, I findit difficult to draw any definite conclusions.

BORIS

What kind of conclusions?

HERMANOn the specific properties of the given individual. If she doesnt meet theclassification criteria of homo sapiens, or, quite simply, a human being, thenwhat is she?

ZINAWhatever you like, only not human.

HERMAN

But indeed in appearance shes very similar to human.

BORISShes similar to a beast in appearance.

JULIEAnd a very nasty beast to boot.


56/72

III-7

HERMANI still dont understand...

ZINAWhat dont you understand? Must act! Have to get rid of her before the neighbors

call the cops.

HERMANWhy dont you call the cops yourselves?

ZINAAre you out of your mind?! What cops?

HERMANWhy are you so afraid of the police? Let them use their power to neutralize thishumanoid essence dangerous to society.

JULIEHer son is Zabuldygin! Za-bul-dy-gin! No police would get involved with her.

ZINAAnd with the help of the cops she can neutralize us such that we become scraps inback alleys.

HERMANDo you want to say that the police wont fulfill their duties?

BORIS

What duties?

HERMANDo you want to say that the police wont protect people from mad beasts?

(Again a still scene. Everybody stars at HERMAN.)

BORISListen, buddy, strictly speaking, who are you?

HERMAN

In what sense?

ZINADont play the fool! Boris asks you: where do you come from?

HERMANHows this where from? From the bus stop. He brought me from there, aswitness. I saw how this beast beat him on the head and he answered...


57/72

III-8

JULIEHerman, you dont understand. They ask you where you, so strange, came from.

HERMAN

Strange in what sense? What shows this strangeness?

JULIEIn everything. Youre not like any of us. You dont walk the same way, dont seethings the same way, dont talk...

HERMANHow do I talk?

ZINAPolitely! Our people dont behave this way. Have you at least once heard ourpeople talk to each other politely? You couldnt have. You couldnt stay the wayyou are at all if you would be with our guys... Why are you smiling? Why are youalways smiling? Our people dont smile.

HERMANWhy not?

JULIEWhats there for them to smile about? If you regularly pay rent but youre stillregularly in debt, will you be smiling? Will you? And if after youve paid foreverything, they shut off the water, light, and heat, referring to non-payment?Will you be grinning as before? No, you wont. The smile will disappear from your

face. And as you go through the channels, arguing that youre not a camel, thatyouve paid up even beyond the statutory, youll be running around for a longtime without success, your face will take on a more downcast air. And finally, ifyoure one of us, youll understand that theres nowhere to go for justice, thateverything is against you. But youre not one of us.

ZINASo, who are you? Well? Why here, gawking? Own up, who are you, and where didyou come from out of the blue?

HERMAN

I already told you where. Boris Arkadevich brought me here.

ZINADont squirm! Answer the question!

BORISWait! I think Ive got it... Listen! Hes a spy!


58/72

III-9

JULIEHerman, is that true?

HERMANIs what true?

JULIEThat youre a spy?

ZINAExactly! Why didnt we figure this out sooner?

JULIE(Turns to HERMAN.)

Tell us, are you really a spy? American?

HERMANI refuse to understand you.

BORISWont confess, the skunk...

(Turns to HERMAN.)Well, speak up, why did the CIA send you to us?

HERMANBoris Arkadevich, this all seems more than odd to me...

JULIE

Boris, wait.

BORISWait for what?

JULIEPerhaps were making a mistake. What if hes not an American spy?

BORISWhats the difference? The main thing is that hes not Chinese.

HERMANIt seems to me I had better leave you...

BORISStop! Youre not going anywhere till we hand you over to whomever we should.

ZINABoris, dont rush. You know, its possible to negotiate with everybody.


59/72

III-10

BORISYou dont negotiate with the CIA.

ZINA

Why?

BORISTheyre all greedy. Ask a lot but pay little. In a word, jerks... And many of oursheep have already defected to them. So itd be better if we deliver him to ourown, reliable, from whom theres no escape...

(There is a knock on the door and a voice, Please open the door! TVcrew!)

ZINARight, Boris! Well hand him over to our TV people. Right now, by the way...

BORISAha! Theyre a hundred times more reliable, no one can run away from them, norhide...

ZINATheyll get to spies like you from under the ground! If necessary, will even findyou in the john and put you on camera. Then, if you twitch, will show the worldwith your pants down.

HERMAN

Why pants down? I dont need such popularity. I dont aspire to fame.

BORISAha! Here you gave yourself away! This admission of yours proves conclusivelythe involvement of secret service! He needs no fame... Tell the tale to your owngranny. Here, look at me.

HERMANIm looking.

BORIS

See, Im a normal guy, so I want fame, and much more...(Goes out.)

And TV will help realize my not very modest desires...

ZINABy the way, I also wouldnt turn down fame. Who would? Everybody wantsrecognition. Everybody...

(Points to HERMAN.)


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61/72

III-12

GEORDIELala, I wouldnt advise this.

LALA

Do what youre told! And dont argue with me.

GEORDIEYoull be sorry later. Dont you see its French cognac on the table? Who wouldbelieve you that bullies and rowdies live here?

ZINAWhat bullies?

JULIEWhat rowdies?

LALA(Looks closely.)

Indeed... And the dishes are also decent...(Picks up a plate and reads the label.)

Bo-he-mi-a... Hmm... Cool... Okay, Geordie, then film me with the window in thebackground.

GEORDIEWont work either. Theyre European.

LALA

Its okay...(Draws the curtains.)

Come on, film me. Here Ill close these rags...

(GEORDIE films.)

ZINAYou are a rag! A dishrag...

LALAThis is LaLa Laskovaya... We are... In a dwelling! Yes, precisely in a dwelling,

because its not possible to call this den a home. In here live people for whomnoble old age is nothing sacred! To them this is simply the opportunity to getaway with letting loose ones fist. Yes, our dear viewers, exactly so. Today, inbroad daylight, one of the inhabitants of this haunt attacked a defenseless oldlady! Mrs. Zabuldygina, the mother of a very well-known, very respected man ofour town. This monster beat her up! At the same time shouting that he would killher. By some miracle, the old feeble woman managed to escape the clutches ofthe monster of cruelty and ran away... Now we will show you this barbarian...


62/72

III-13

BORISThats it, enough! We didnt agree to this! Get out of here...

(Goes to the window and pulls back the curtain. Outside the window,arms spread wide apart, is Zabuldygina in a ridiculous pose.)

Get out of my home! Together with your poor old hag! Who can climb along thewall to the second floor...

SABULDYGINA(From beyond the glass.)

Open the window, parasites! Open up, I can fall!

BORISSo, fall! I didnt invite you to my home! We dont know how to get rid of you...

ZINABoris, quieter! Were being filmed...

(Runs up to the window and opens it.)

(ZABULDYGINA climbs inside.)

GEORDIELala, I think something doesnt quite fit with your story. It turns out your poorold woman can climb the wall like a monkey.

LALANot your problem what she can or cant do. Your job is to shoot, and later we cancut out the episode with the window.

GEORDIENo! I wont take part in this disgrace.

LALAYou will!

GEORDIENo, I wont! I was recently offered a job at Channel 10/3. And if your story airs, Ican even fly over to Channel 54.

SABULDYGINAShoot, told you to! And dont argue. Who are you anyway? Nothing but atechnician. Youll fly off the handle and stay out of work.

GEORDIELala, why do you get mixed up with her? You presented her as noble, but hereyoure ennobling this decrepit Stalinist.


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65/72

III-16

BORISThis is a spy! I hope theres no need to explain how much you need him?

ZINA

Of course, they do! Everybody needs spies.

LALA(Turns suspiciously to HERMAN.)

Are you really a spy?

HERMANWhy a spy?

JULIEBoris, why do you upset him?

BORISFine, fine, let it be as you think. I understand nobody likes being called a spy. Itreally sounds offensive. Herman, youre not a spy, youre secret service.

(Turns to LALA.)Hes secret service, sent by a hostile country to us!

LALA(Repeats in a singsong voice.)

Secret service...(Joyfully.)

Geordie! Did you hear how lucky we are? Come on, shoot!

(GEORDIE films.)

LALAThis is LaLa Laskovaya from Channel 24/5... We are... We are in the apartment ofcitizens showing particular vigilance! With their own strength, not distractingcompetent authorities from importance matters, they were able to neutralize andapprehend a dangerous spy of a hostile country. And our channel is the first onthe spot where there is such a significant event for our city! Nothing is yet knownabout him, even those on duty who is obligated to know everything! You, dearviewers, who always stay with us regardless of what we show you, today, right

now, will finally be rewarded for your patience! You will hear an exclusiveinterview with a real spy... Here he is, before you...

(Points to HERMAN.)

JULIEAnd with us too! Show us also!

GEORDIE


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III-18

HERMANThe Intergalactic Shock Breakthrough Service, if you want.

LALAPardon me?

BORIS(Surprised.)

So Herman, youre not from the CIA?

HERMANNo, Im from the ISBS.

BORISAh-h... Should have said so sooner! And we almost did a bad thing. Indeed, wecould have nailed you.

JULIEAfter all, whatever you may say, the CIA is no friend of ours.

ZINAAnd the ISBS? Do you think that if the CIA is our enemy, then we must put downthe ISBS as friends?

JULIEWhere is this very ISBS?

HERMAN

In Alpha Centauri...

(Everybody looks dumbfounded at HERMAN.)

BORISWhat, are you mocking us?

HERMANWhy would I be mocking? Is this constellation really unknown to you?

LALA

Geordie, stop! Wait a bit with the shooting... Tell me, what do you think, whomare you filming now?

GEORDIELala, when Im shooting, I try not to think at all... Especially about whom Imfilming.

SABULDYGINA


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69/72

III-20

Search for psychos on your own TV! Youre crazy yourselves, and drive peoplecrazy! Search closer at yours and not among people.

LALAWhat people? He says that hes Captain of the Intergalactic Shock Breakthrough

Service.

BORISSo?

LALACant even film this! Let alone show it.

JULIEWhy not?

LALABecause its not normal.

BORISPlease, so its not normal, but paranormal. Whats the difference? Would that beeasier for you?

LALA(Uncertainly.)

Well... If only paranormal... All the same, I should still make sure that your secretservice agent didnt escape from the loony bin. How do you prove that hes allthere in the head?

JULIEWe guarantee for his head.

ZINAWe do, we guarantee! We can guarantee this a hundred percent.

BORISHere we all trust him, all our society.

GEORDIE

Thats just not an argument. Our society always trusts those we shouldnt. Everyunsavory character...

ZINAYoure an unsavory character! Come on, film the Captain of ISBS, and us togetherwith him.

GEORDIE


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III-21

Ill shoot nothing without an order. While the boss hasnt ordered me...

LALAGeordie, I dont know...

JULIEHerman, do something!

HERMANWhat can I do?

JULIEWell, anything. Show them your capabilities.

ZINAYou were dancing so well!

HERMANIm fully capable, and not just in dancing.

SABULDYGINAHow do you prove it? Wheres the evidence?

HERMANI can show my rights.

SABULDYGINAWhat rights?

HERMANFor operating a vehicle.

SABULDYGINACan you show your own car? At least you have a car, or just the rights?

JULIEHell soon have a car. But this is irrelevant.

SABULDYGINA

You bet it does. Perhaps he drives around the city in an old Soapbox? Then norights can help him. Any fool will tell you hes crazy.

HERMANAt present, I dont have a car. I sold it.

SABULDYGINAAha! I suppose he even sold the Soapbox so he wont be called crazy?


71/72


72/72

III-23

end? Do you understand the question? Please answer them: when will you finishexperimenting on people?

(Everybody looks at HERMAN. GEORDIE first films, then lowers thecamera.)

HERMAN(Thinks for a long time.)

Unfortunately, I cannot give you an answer to this question...

End

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Delirium Russian Style