DEL - 4/26/12 - v02i05

• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •

Volume 2, Issue 5 4/26/12 - 5/16/12 theblacksheeponline.com @TheBlackSheepUD

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roommate, yeah baby!The Black SheepGettinG to Know the techno Bus Driver

Brittany Barkes wrote thisWhen I sat down at Central Perk waiting for Nadar Azawah to ar-rive, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. To all of you who don’t know, Nadar has been a bus driver at the University of Delaware for about 5 years, and he is best known for his legendary “techno bus.” The techno bus was always a fun drunken experience, with bumping beats, flashing strobe lights, and inevitable vomit. Even without his well-known bus, Nadar still makes his presence on campus known by dressing in a unique fashion, sometimes even sporting armor.

Today was no different. Nadar walked in wearing his signature headband and greeted me with a big smile. While he went to order his mango smoothie, I realized just how many people were intrigued by his presence. He sat down and I had the opportunity to ask those burning questions we have all wanted to ask.

the black sheep: First off, how did you end up at Delaware as a bus driver?Nadar: I moved to Delaware after graduating from a fine arts school in Egypt. I got a degree in visual communication and com-puter graphics and I refreshed my knowledge by taking courses at UD. When I arrived in the United States, I came here with high ambitions. My wife owned a print shop business and I ran the dark room. And then I began working at UD.tbs: so then how did the techno bus come about?N: Whenever I’m driving, I’m constantly thinking about design. So I started driving the bus in different kinds of outfits, and a student who has since graduated created a Facebook group about the techno bus. I started mixing my own music, mostly choosing short tracks. I signed up for evening work. That was the bomb. I made the bus reflect nightlife with lights and lasers. tbs: then the techno bus was born. since underclassmen never experienced it, do you think they understand what it was all about?N:If they heard about the techno bus, they really don’t under-stand the experience that was involved. In the techno bus every-one was a participant in the atmosphere. It was a lot more than just music and lights. It was like an art gallery or a stage, and I was on center stage. Freshmen will never see the gravity of the whole thing. But maybe when the time comes, it will return.tbs: can you tell me a little bit more about what inspires you?N: I used to go to Philly on the weekends. All the clubs gave me VIP treatment, and I never had to wait in line. Bouncers always recognized me. When the techno bus put me in the spotlight, I wanted to use this power responsibly. If I’m blessed with the spotlight, I want to show depth of issues so I wrote about con-fronting negative things, while also injecting humor to get the interests of the people.

tbs: who are some of your favorite musical artists?N: I create most of my own music, but my favorites are Armin van Buuren and Tiesto.tbs: Do you break out any dance moves when you listen to their music?N: I dance like a stripper. I like dancing with the lights because the lights show the edges of the silhouettes of the body.tbs: It’s been said that the end of the world might be near, but do you agree with this?N: If it is true, then I’m ready to be rewarded for all the good deeds I have done. If it’s not true then I have more time to build up good deeds. I am not afraid.tbs: but what if it’s some sort of zombie apocalypse. then what would you do?N: I would peel off my human body and reveal my zombie, blend in, and breed with the best looking ones and make techno zom-bies.tbs: that’s slightly terrifying. well, do you have any celeb-rity crushes currently?N: I could have a crush on any actress with expressive eyes, but an inviting mouth is a must. Jennifer Connelly has a gorgeous mouth and eyes.

tbs: If you could have one super power to impress Jennifer connelly with, which would you choose?N: I would love to have the ability to penetrate obstacles without actually damaging them. I want my body to be able to go through walls so I can reach my destination. And you could call me “Nader the Magnificent.”tbs: what if you were trapped on a deserted island, who would you want with you?N: Someone who can speak English well so we can spell “SOS” correctly in the sand. And I would bring an inflatable palm tree.tbs: one last question, where do you get your armor?N: Years ago, I tried to make my own pants using a fabric tape since I didn’t have a sewing machine. I took them on the dance floor and everyone was admiring them. But then the heat caused the pants to come apart. I went home and got a sewing machine, so now I hang out with the old ladies at Jo-Ann Fabrics. I design hats, belts, and bags. Designing feeds my cycle of wanting to be more unique. I design moods and ambience. tbs: any last things you want to add?N: The techno bus became a movement to symbolize the free spirit. Thank you all who took part in making something very vast and very beautiful.

InSIDeother stuff

Your Senior Bucket List

Carpe Diem, No regrets, Yolo, etC.,

Blah Blah Blah.see page 4

aww Come oN,like we woulD

lie to You.see page 9

we show You what uDel girls

are alwaYs up to.see page 12

Our Honest Cover Letter A Day in the Life

table of > > > COnTenTSPAGe 5 >>> County Cops say Neigh

the Delaware poliCe follow iN striDe.

PAGe 6 >>> every way You Can Die on the New Jersey turnpikeBefore Your kill Yourself DoiNg the jerseY turNpike iN New jerseY.

PAGe 6 >>> top ten: things to leave off Your Job applicationNot everYoNe is so impresseD BY Your keg staND reCorD, But we sure are!

PAGe 11 >>> the black sheep interviews: shpongleour Chat with simoN posforD, oNe half of the trippY uk eleCtroNiC Duo.

PAGe 13 >>> bartender of the issuegraNt from homegrowN has let the Cat out of the Bag - he loves BaD girls CluB.

5

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Before I leave behind the hallowed brick sidewalks of Newark, I took the time to plan out the most perfect go-out-with-a-bang night imaginable. Here, I share with you my simultaneously idiotic and brilliant plans. Your mission, underclassmen, is to re-enact these ideas before you don that cap and gown.

5:00 p.m.- “Porch-sit” at a friend’s house and reminisce on everything that was. To top it off, accuse passer-bys of being freshmen, and be sure to do it in an insulting tone.

6:00 p.m.- Head to your favorite happy hour location and order that drink that you’ve always been too cheap to buy. Hell, it’s probably your parents’ money anyway. Have a night class? Bring a “road soda” and meet up with your pals later at your old dorm building.

7:30 p.m.- Visit the dorm room that you remember being hot and impos-sibly small. Take a picture with your old roommate (that is, if you still speak). Upon entering, be wary of potential anime posters and/or a feel-ing of extreme nostalgia.

8:00 p.m.- Participate in a pitcher race with your senior friends, prefer-ably at Margherita’s or Grotto. Grab a slice, then initiate the bar crawl. Whoever loses the race buys each member of the other team a drink at the next location. Dance your ass off at each and every establishment.

10:30 p.m.- Whether you’re getting down on the dance floor or creeping on junior girls, do things at the bar you always wish you had the chutzpa to do. Body shots, crowd surfing, and dancing on the bar are all acceptable choices. After all, this is the last time in your life where people will look

on this kind of behavior with respect and not disgust.

12:00 a.m.- See the guy or girl you’ve always had a crush on but never dared to speak to? Now is your chance to have one last random, guilt-free hookup. Buy him or her a drink and see where the night takes you. Maybe you can invite them along for the next event…

1:00 a.m.- So, you’ve hit Deer Park, Rooney’s, Kildare’s, Kate’s, and Timo-thy’s? Not to worry, your night isn’t over. Take one last shot of liquid cour-age and streak the green. End in the fountain by the library, and high-tail it out of there before the rent-a-cops show up. Cut through Alison Hall as a backup escape route.

2:00 a.m.- During your flight from the fountain, take the time to listen for a house party. If you find one, crash it like you own the place. If someone asks you “Who do you know here?” Matt, Dan, or John are safe bets. And if someone asks you “Why are you naked?”, say “It’s not that kind of party? That’s too bad. ” I recommend bracing yourself for the inevitable crash to the ground as you are thrown out.

3:30 a.m.- Congratulations, you’ve survived the most epic night of your life! Get your ass home, chug a beer, and fall asleep to thoughts of infamy. All four years of college led up to this one night, and you nailed it.

Even though my stint at UD is drawing to an end, I’ll find pride in the fact that the time has come for me to pass on the traditions of hot basement parties, late-night Freddy’s, and overall bad decisions to the next genera-tion of Blue Hens.

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The police force is getting more and more assertive in Dela-ware; according to Newark’s critically acclaimed source of information The Review, New Castle County cops have made bold statements in response to the increasing levels of crime. “Save a bike, ride a horse,” “Crime down, Pony up,” and perhaps most famously: “Neigh” are just some of the slogans of the infamous mounted patrol.

As stated by The Review, “few lawbreakers can ignore an of-ficer on horseback.”* This probably explains the sudden drop of crime rate in nearby cities like Hockessin. Police credit horses for versatility as well as sheer presence: “I’ve been on the force for 25 years, and let me tell you something, you can’t jump over a fence with a car as easily as you can with a horse,” said Corporal Rich Dolabil of Hockessin.

Worry not, Newarkians, UD’s Public Safety won’t stay behind for long. In fact, they’re planning on surpassing the County Cops in lowering crime rates. “See, the tricky thing is kids are fast these days,” said Officer Steve Bacon, “The county officers ride Clydesdales. We need something a little faster, and the Arabian breeds are a little too expensive.”

That’s when Public Safety turned its eye on a faster and cer-tainly more school-spirited steed, the Blue Ostrich. Standing at nearly seven feet tall and weighing more than the com-bined weight of Delaware’s offensive line, the Blue Ostrich was honored as a sacred bird in ancient Greece until the Romans invaded and mistook it for an Eagle. Interestingly, with its blue feathers, it also bears an uncanny resemblance to our very own mascot, YouDee.

“That’s how we plan on catching them off their guard,” Of-ficer Bacon said of underage drinkers, jaywalkers, and other

menaces, “They’ll think their mascot’s come to party with them, but then surprise! It’s the cops!”

The Blue Ostrich has yet to join horses as becoming a “sworn police officer.”** Sgt. Fred Porchloyn says the ostriches have been flying past competition in the training program. Porchloyn said the Police Academy Exam results surprised him the most, where ostriches achieved higher scores than horses and officers combined. “They’re some fast, smart, and tough sons of bitches,” he confirmed, but the ostriches haven’t earned their badges yet. They refuse to be pepper-sprayed.

“That’s what surprises me most of all—who wouldn’t want to be a police officer?” cried Porchloyn, “Where else are they gonna go?

According to ostrich demographic experts, the big birds have been returning to their Greek origins, starting their own Fraternities such as Chi Chi Chi. Brothers have been more than welcoming of the “Brostrich” aka “Brahstrich” who have contorted their long necks into interesting positions while doing kegstands and are notably fabulous wingmen.

Swamped with requests, the university is still considering replacing its current fowlic symbol of Delaware pride.YouDee had no comment, but when asked about Blue Ostriches, he insisted on planking and getting a picture.

*Actual quote

**according to The Review police use Clydesdales. The Re-view also literally quoted an officer as saying that the horses were sworn officers, and it had a picture and caption about a horse that was “showing off his badge.”

uD sTaff wroTe This

COUnTY COPS SAY neIGH, uD poliCe to follow iN striDe

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The big old Buick LeSabre is humming along at 70mph as I approach exit 30A on the Garden State Parkway. Of the many hieroglyphics I see on the large green sign, “95 South” is what my eyes lock onto. I must make my move. Without a moment’s hesita-tion I violently spin the wheel in a clockwise direction; the LeSabre happily complies. Cutting across two lanes of traffic, I slip past the guardrail and onto the entrance ramp for interstate 95. But wait! A tollbooth. I’m staring at a large woman in glasses. “Four dollars,” she yells to me; a nominal fee for riding the deathtrap I’ve come to know as the New Jersey Turnpike. There’s a reason New Jersey has the highest car insurance rates in the country.

No sooner do I pull away from the tollbooth then I am forced to slam on my brakes. “I Ride With Jesus” reads the bumper sticker of the minivan I nearly swapped metal with. My right hand immediately forms a raised middle finger that I happily stick out the window for the minivan to appreciate. The middle finger is an obligation when behind the wheel, and I give it often.

As we begin our merger onto the most trav-eled highway in America, I make sure to aggressively pass the minivan on the right, giving an angry look to the man commanding it. Upon closer inspection I see a family on board, probably heading to grandma’s for this glorious Easter holiday. I cut them off and proceed to accelerate to 80mph; “Happy Passover,” I think to myself.

The Buick is now sandwiched between two large semis, and suddenly I don’t feel so safe. I am driving in a canyon, shadows cast over me, large wheels spinning uncomfort-ably close to my person. I think about 2Fast 2Furious and nearly swallow my Adam’s apple. Is it a realistic fear to think these rigs will both try and merge into my lane and crush me? There will be a trail of blood and metal all the way down to Delaware. They’ll pull off at the next weigh station and congratulate each other on killing another motorist. Just some sick game truckers like to play with each other when they get bored. The ride works her way up to 85mph, and I eventually emerge from between the two rigs with a newfound phobia of truckers.

Nothing but open road in front of me as I flip on the cruise control at 80mph. I want some good cruising music so I switch to The Rolling Stones as I reach in the center console for my sunglasses. Windows down, the Stones blasting, sunny skies and an open road; I’m at peace. Then I speed past a state trooper. I immediately drop down to 60mph and take a deep breath. That peaceful feeling I had a minute ago is now a painful knot in my stomach. My eyes are fixed on the rearview mirror as I listen for the sirens. One mile down the road and no sign of him yet. Did he pull out or not? Maybe there wasn’t anyone in the car? The anticipation of getting pulled over is almost unbearable, I grip the wheel tightly but my mind begins to wander.

I’m so preoccupied with what’s behind me; I fail to see what is in front of me. Traffic cones are bouncing off my front bumper and littering the road behind me. The Rolling Stones are still blasting as I tear through the front windshield like it’s tissue paper. I have no sympathy for the devil right now. “What a propitious afternoon” I think to myself as I soar through the afternoon sky like a human missile. I must have cleared twenty yards before I hit the asphalt. With all that momentum I slid another forty yards down the road before coming to a halt. Finally the state trooper catches up to me.

I must have nodded off and started day-dreaming while waiting for this bastard to write me a ticket. I’m parked on the shoul-der of the Turnpike, facing the concrete bar-rier that I had just dreamed I crashed into. “The speed limit is 55mph in a construction zone, you were doing 80mph,” the officer tells me. Is he expecting me to be remorse-ful or something? “I wrote that I clocked you at 65mph instead of 80mph so your ticket will be reduced” he said as he handed me a $160 ticket; “Go Blue Hens” he says.

I’m not so far from Delaware when I hear a terrible sound from underneath the Buick. My first thought is that one of my tires blew out and it’s only a matter of seconds before the LeSabre spins out of control, crashing into multiple vehicles and flinging me out of my windshield for real this time. In anticipa-tion of this event, I quickly pull over to the shoulder. I stand two feet from cars whizzing past me at 80mph as I step out of the beast.

Imaging how my body might react to being hit by 4,000 pounds of metal traveling at high speeds makes me cringe. All four wheels are intact but a piece of the metal shield that covers the chassis has become unbolted and is dangling from underneath the car. I try to rip it off but half of it is still bolted on. Seeing this as no real potential threat to the safety of my journey, I decide to continue and just ignore the sound.

This was a regrettable decision. After grind-ing along the Turnpike for a long enough time, the piece of metal is finally ripped from underneath the car. As a parting gift the metal shield slashes my back left tire. The Buick begins to shake violently as I hear the deflated wheel slapping against the asphalt. I throw my hazards on and try to maneuver across three lanes of traffic and get my LeSabre to safety. With car horns whizzing past me, I am able to narrowly avoid an accident and get the big whale off the road.

With the Delaware Memorial Bridge in sight, I find myself parked on the shoulder of the Turnpike for the third time today. There’s nothing to do but sit and wait for AAA to res-cue me. As the cars and trucks go speeding past me, I reflect on every way I could have died while traveling on the Turnpike today. Every year there are roughly eight thousand accidents on the Turnpike resulting in about thirty fatalities. That means thirty people will ride the Turnpike each year and not live to tell their grandchildren. Watching the sun set over the Delaware River, I feel very for-tunate not to be one of these thirty people.

As I lean against the LeSabre and spark a cigarette, a minivan comes careening off the road and crashes into my car and I. It backs up and pulls away, the front of it completely decimated. “I Ride With Jesus” reads the bumper sticker. “So that’s what it’s like to be hit with 4,000 pounds of metal,” I think to myself. As I lie deformed and bleeding in the wreckage that used to be my LeSabre, I realize that I don’t have much time left, so I raise my right hand for a final gesture. I stick a bloody middle finger in the air, and then I am at peace. Giving the middle finger is an obligation, and I do it often.

eVerY wAY YOU CAn DIe

oN the New JerseY turNpike

MaTThew speiser wroTe This

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so it’s graduation time and just as you are finishing off your beefy 5-layer burrito, you realize that maybe your job application could use some beefing up too. but sadly, this is one of the few problems you come across during your time in college that taco bell cannot solve. so pay close attention if you don’t plan on spending the next 10-15 years living in your parents’ basement:

10. Your “personal best” keg stand record: As impressive as it is to watch you defy gravity by forcing Natty Ice down your throat while being held upside down by your ankles, unfortunately it does not qualify you for anything besides professional tailgating. And any true Eagles fan will tell you that you can’t tailgate your way to a Superbowl ring.

9. Volunteer work: Assisting freshmen back to their dorm rooms after a party does not make you a “Public Safety Professional”. Furthermore, stumbling drunkenly past a tour group yelling “thanks in advance for your daughters” does not make you a “Blue Hen Ambassador.”

8. references: Try to avoid using family members as refer-ences. No potential employer will be super impressed by your mommy’s glowing endorsement. Also steer clear of your closest buddies; Smitty and Smokey don’t sound quali-fied to fix your toilet, let alone recommend you for a job.

7. Medical research: Your extensive breakthroughs in the field of “curing hangovers with fried food and weed” are only exciting and beneficial to the guy on the fourth floor who is currently only using fried food.

6. special certifications: Owning a t-shirt that says “Fe-male Body Inspector” does not meet the requirements that allow you to put “FBI” on your job application. In addition, the fact that you once made out with a wasted girl at a party does not make you CPR-certified.

5. reasons for leaving your previous job: Explaining the details behind where you told your old boss he could “shove it” will only cause your potential new boss to crumple up your application and put it in the pile with the registered sex offenders and anyone from New Jersey.

4. personal information: As inconvenient as it is to deal with multiple inboxes, it is significantly less impressive if you list your professional email address as: [email protected]. It might also be a good idea to change your ringback tone to something a little more low-key than “Baby Got Back”.

3. Your Gpa:Does not stand for “girls parties attended”, “general pursuit of ass” or “great places for alcohol”, despite the fact that you have rated each one on a scale of 0-4.

2. additional skills and talents: no1 wil think u r qual 4 a job just bcuz u can send a txt msg in undr 3 secs.

1. academic enrichment: Tutoring freshmen girls in “Anat-omy 101” would almost be believable if not for the fact that your transcript indicates that you received a whopping D- in “rocks for jocks” before switching to sociology, the only major you could find with zero science requirements.

the top ten

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Things to Leave Off Your Job Application

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Megan walshI don’t really want to give you my address because I’m not sure what kind of person you are but here’s the date:april 20, 2012 – don’t assume anything, I was actually very sober when I wrote this.

Dear Sir (or Madam – because I believe that women can hold leadership positions but I’m also going to leave this line pretty vague. I did a brief scan of your website but let’s be serious…there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to know who’s actually going to read this),

Hello! Hi! Bonjour! Hola! (I’m very cultured…I went to France for like a weekend so, yeah.) I am inquiring about the Copy-writer position that recently opened up at your office in Philadelphia. My unique combination of previous work experi-ence and education at the University of Delaware in English as well as political science and advertising makes me a perfect candidate for this job!

I have had some great experiences over the past four years at UD that I feel could apply to this position. First of all, I can get by almost any class or work situation with very minimal effort! Seriously, I don’t think you’ll find this kind of efficiency in any of your other candidates. Like, this one time, I hadn’t gone to class in two weeks and I accidently woke up early one day and decided to actually go to the class and hey what d’ya know there was an exam! Can you BELIEVE it? I didn’t know there was an exam and there WAS one! LOLZ.

I also know how to take advantage of situations as they arrive. For example, I had an exam this morning but some friends stopped by the apartment last night and were like “Come ON Megan we’re going to the bars! They’re like right across the street from you! There’s no excuse!” and I was like “Yeah there is, I have an exam…” and then they were like “It’s your last semester! Take advantage of every going out opportunity!” and you know what? I DID.

Finally, over the past four years I have learned to be critical of myself but also keep in mind my positive attributes. I mean let’s face it…if you hire me (which you totally should!) I’m go-ing to be late occasionally. Actually (because I’m an honest per-son), I’m going to be late a lot. But I come up with some very convincing excuses which perhaps you could steal and use at a later time. I’m definitely going to fall asleep at my desk but, you know, sometimes I talk in my sleep and it can be entertain-ing! I also hate working, but I love eating so I’ll bring a lot of snacks which maybe I can share if you’re lucky. I have great snacks. In addition, I’m a wonderful multitasker. I’ll constantly use my phone for non-work-related things but hey, I can talk and text at the same time!

Most importantly, this position would be mutually beneficial. I need a job and…did you not read the thing about all the snacks I’ll bring?

I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you to discuss my qualifications. If my background meets your needs, please get in touch with me anytime through email or phone call. Ex-

cept please don’t try to find my Twitter. You won’t see anything you like, I promise. Oh, and don’t try to find my Tumblr either because my friends don’t even know about it so...let’s just say I don’t have one and move on. Actually, just text me.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Sincerely,Megan Walsh

our honest cover letterMeGan walsh wroTe This

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Parents saythedarndest things!

PARenTs—how AdoRAble. Whether they’re obsessed with their iProduct du jour or try to chat you up about the latest episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, you can’t help but appreciate how they still try to stay involved in your life. still, few parents keep up with the ever-evolving musical landscape. with that in mind we decided to email our parents sample lyrics from recently popular songs just to see if they could figure out what was going on. Their unadulter-ated responses below.

Ke$ha- “Tik Tok”and now the dudes are linin’ up cuz they hear we got swaggerbut we kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

i'm talkin’ about errrbody gettin crunkboys tryn’a touch my junk

“This is about some girls thinking they’re hot, check-ing out the boys who aren’t and dissing the pretend-ers who are offenders.”

“Is swagger a new drink? why does she have it on her and why is she with Mick Jagger? She has garbage that people want?” “The guys are in a competition like American Idol, wanting to show off their stuff, but they won't be ac-cepted unless they're a certain 'type' - a cookie cutter imitation of what is acceptable. They're all showing

off, doing their best.”

“Guys are standing in front of a hot club in NYC because they hear celebs and models are hanging out there. But the girls want nothing to do with 'em unless they're jocks or loaded with dough. The chicks are there to party, boys want some action.”

Verdict: The parents do a good job identifying the strong pro-female message in the song, but are oblivi-ous to Ke$ha’s general sluttiness. Having seen Ke$ha, this seems impossible.

owl city - "fireflies"'Cause i'd get a thousand hugs

from ten thousand lightning bugsas they tried to teach me how to dance

a foxtrot above my heada sock hop beneath my bed

The disco ball is just hanging by a threadThe dude is in bed dreaming

“The song is about an animal living in the forest, right? I think an animal is teaching him how to dance in the woods.” “This person is definitely dealing with some drug-induced hallucinations.”

“A thousand hugs from lightning bugs refers to blue haired ladies, they re-member the foxtrot and sock hop. The

disco ball is hanging from a thread means they also realize their best days have passed.”

Verdict: They’re all over the place with this one. Truthfully, we’re also confounded by this song. Lightning bugs don’t tend to reside under one’s bed, so we’re just assuming this guy fell ass-backwards into a catchy chorus.

Waka Flocka Flame- “No Hands”blood want it flacka yea throw it fuck it i don't care.“I have no clue what’s going on here.”“I have no idea.”

Verdict: Neither do we.

LMFAO- “Party Rock Anthem”see i'm a jock (huh) nonstop when we in the spot

booty move weight like she owns the blockwhere i drank i gots to know

Tight jeans, tattoos cause i'm rock and rollhalf black half white, domino, Gain the money oprah Doe!

“I think this is about people of mixed ethnicity danc-ing for money.”

“The dude feeling like he has to prove himself. drink-ing for courage, playing the part with the clothes, tattoos, etc. He’s trying to please all, white/black, (Oreo) black on the outside - white inside. The woman has money, and she’s using him.”

“It’s about a guy dancing with his gal but he likes to mix his music, rock and roll with a little hip hop sprinkled in.”

“He can focus and perform in a bad situation; she can move mountains with her powerful behind. Can't re-member a thing about last night. Wearing tight jeans, etc. because they're searching for an identity.”

Verdict: Two schools of thought are evident here. First, there are two responses with vaguely racist undertones. Then, there are the older folk who know that this is a party song. They must have watched the Super Bowl this year.

Black Eyed Peas- “I Gotta Feeling”let's do it, let's do it, let's do it,let's do it, and do it, and do it,

let's live it upand do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it,

let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.“This needs no explanation, it’s about sex.”

“Why is it all about sex? Do they talk about anything else?”

“It’s about good vibes and positive af-firmations. “

Verdict: We tricked ‘em real good. We assume that our parents assume that everyone is talking about sex all the time these days. Our suspi-cions proved correct.

Drake- “The Motto”wrist blang, got a condo up in biscayne

still getting brain from a thang, ain’t shit changedhow you feel? how you feel? how you feel?

Twenty five sittin’ on 25 mil uhhi’m in the building and i’m feeling myself

rest in peace Mac Dre, i’mma do it for the bay, okay“It’s about a dude in Miami with a hangover remi-niscing about the old rapper Dr. Dre and counting his money.”

“This song is definitely about drug use.”

“Newly rich but feeling poor, with a condo in south-

ern Florida, not knowing what to feel, sitting on $25 million in illegal money. All this - living in biscayne Bay - but is it worth the diminished peace of mind?”

Verdict: “Still getting brain from a thang” threw off them older kids. Thank god. If they knew what that meant, we’d have to kill ourselves.

the mUSIC page

M. Ward is a phenomenal singer, songwriter and guitarist who’s been around for over a decade, consis-tently performing and releasing music, never faltering on his undeni-able raw talent. He’s also one half of She & Him with the adorkable Zooey Deschanel, and one quarter of the incredibly talented 2009 folk collaboration, Monsters of Folk. Not to mention his nearly constant tour-ing and various other collaborations throughout the years, that’s a whole hell of a lot of information about a quiet guy from the west coast.

A wasteland Companion is M. Ward’s 8th album, a feat for anyone, espe-cially for someone who’s under 40. At this point in his career, it’s quite blatant that he’s got his shit down. M. Ward knows exactly who he is, what and how he’s going to play his music, and, perhaps most importantly, what his fans like. That’s not to say that he hasn’t grown as an artist or become

more polished, but if you listen to his discography, it’s all pretty damn similar—acoustic folk music with pas-sionate, relatable lyrics that some-times make you sad and sometimes give you the chills. The majority of his songs hover around 3 minutes, but often times they’re much shorter with barely enough time to even get a song rolling. With him, it’s not so much about finding one song that stands out (though it’s happened, obviously), but enjoying everything just as it happens to be.

At just under 40 minutes long, A wasteland Companion is nothing but predictably great M. Ward quintes-sential folk rock. The first song released was, “The First Time I Ran Away,” a low-key tune with sparse, simple lyrics and subtle guitar—one of the slower and weaker tracks on the album. Some of my favorites, though, are “Me and My Shadow” and “Crawl After You” because they’re two of the

more interesting, stand-out songs on the album. “Crawl After You” is par-ticularly beautiful with a nice piano and violins melodies (and painfully cute lyrics). And, if you listen closely throughout the album, you might just hear Deschanel herself featured in a few of the tracks. Subtly, of course.

It’s a damn shame if you haven’t checked M. Ward out by now because he’s definitely worth a listen. But if you’re going to get this album, you’ve got to check out some of his other stuff (Post-war is a personal favorite) too. That way, if any of his songs get a little too slow, you can just go on to the next one (on to the next one).

sounds like: A shy honeybee drinking lemonade on a bench, by himself. Download: Me and My Shadow, Crawl After You, Primitive Girllisten to it when: You’re just vibing out, preferably in a hammock or by a lake.

upComiNg releases

m.wArD a Wasteland CompanionPredictably great chill tunes,

man.

out NowCD reVIew

GrADe B

the BlaCk sheep intervieWs:

SHPOnGLeYou’ve never truly felt “shpongled” until you’ve been to one of Shpongle’s unforgettable performances. We got to chat with Simon Posford, half of the brainchild behind the British psychedelic-electronic duo that’s about making awesome music just as much as it’s about trippy visuals and having an amazing experience at the show. The man behind the six-eyed mask talked to us about goals (or lack of them) and their new set The Masquer-ade, which just embarked on tour in the US. Go online to twistedmusic.com/tours and find out when they’re at a venue near you.

the black sheep: how did you get involved in playing electronic, trance music?Simon Posford: I guess I took a terrible path in my childhood at some point and got involved in a bad lot. I was playing in bands at school and stuff like that, playing at local girls’ schools, which was fun. Then for some stupid reason I choose playing electronic music.

tbs: when did you take the leap from making cool electronic music to putting all these psychedelic visuals with it?Simon: If you’re going to DJ these days, you need to put on some kind of show. We do Shpongle with a live a band, which is such a spectacle. We have Brazilian dancers, contortionists in a box, giant flores-cent Slinkies, not to mention 12 band members on stage. It is psychedelic music and it is mind-expand-ing stuff, so you need to have a good live show and a good visual show to go with the music.

tbs: last year you performed with the shpongletron (a huge DJ booth with lights, screens, and video mapped images projected onto 3D images) and this year you’re performing with the Masquerade. what’s that all about?Simon: For The Masquerade we actually built a structure called The Glyph, and it’s sort of like The Shpongletron on steroids. It’s trippier, more mapping, just cooler, more psyche-delic, more awesome, and I’m a little bit closer to the crowd.

tbs: why the word ‘shpongle?’Simon: The word Shpongle came about by my musical partner Raja Ram. He had taken some mind-expanding substance and he was wandering around a festival and he said, “Oh Simon, I’m really shpongled.” It was suppose to be a mix of several words that came out at the same time; spangled, stoned, monged, all these words that he wanted to express all sort of fell out of his mouth into one word, “shpongle.” We got a good laugh and thought that we should probably use it as a band name. After that festival we made our first track, and “Shpongle” was just perfect.

tbs: when you started shpongle, did you have any goals in mind?Simon: We never really had any goals, I sort of like not having goals. If you have your goals and you attain them, then now what? Then you set another goal, and then you make this cycle of boredom. If you don’t make your goals, then you’re in a cycle of disappointment. So, we didn’t really have any plans. All we really wanted to do at the time, and continue to do, is to have fun and make music that we want to listen to, and that’s really all I’ve ever done. I do a show that I want to see and maybe that I want to take drugs to. People that don’t like [drugs] don’t have to, because the show has that similar affect on the brain.

tbs: what kind of inspiration do you use for your music and your props?Simon: Everything inspires one, I think you’d have to have a heart of stone and a mind of mush to go through life without being inspired by the universe we live in. You know, the smile of a stranger or the woman you love, or a raindrop making its way slowly down your window. It’s all about having an open mind, then you’re open to these influences - the sheer beauty and joy and love and inspiration that the world has to offer around every single corner. Whether you have to bust that mind open with psychedelic drugs or if you naturally let it open like a lotus flower, then it doesn’t really matter.

tbs: okay, true or false: do you put some sort of hallucinogenic-chemical in the air during your concert to get everyone on the same level?Simon: Wouldn’t that be fantastic? I would love to be able to do that, but it’s probably illegal and I’m barely allowed in this country as it is. That’s the only reason not to do it though!

tbs: after your show is all said and done, what’s your beverage of choice?Simon: Alcoholic, vodka and soda. Non-alcoholic, ginger ale or Coke, not water.

Jack white - BlunderbussCarole king - Legendary Demos

alex Clare -The Lateness of the HourThe wanted - The Wanted

norah Jones - Little Broken HeartsCarrie underwood - Blown Away

Marilyn Manson -Born Villainsantigold - Master of My Make-Believe

12UDel girls are a breed of their own. Scientists are still debating if it is nature or nurture that turned these women into who they are. At 9:15 a.m. your typical UDel girl’s alarm will go off, probably a Ke$ha ring-tone, because who doesn’t want to wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? She wakes up dishev-eled, her hair is a mess, but in a perfect beach wave kind of way. And sure, her mascara might be smeared, but the smoky eye will never go out of style. That spot of blue on her face from the Kildare’s stamp on her hand from last night just adds character.

She puts on her leggings and oversized off-the-shoul-der sweater, and throws a ton of shit into her Long-champ bag; her Mac with a pink cover, her iPhone, her planner, egg shaped Chapstick, and oversized sun-glasses. In her Tory Birch wallet you’ll find her OCMP, T’Licious punch card, and her Cal Tor burrito card (even though she wouldn’t ever admit to eating all those calories). She’s running late to Comm 330 but that doesn’t stop her from going to NDB first to get an egg white omelet and a coffee. After 50 minutes of taking perfectly color-coordinated notes, she’ll text her girls and they’ll all meet up at T’Licious for lunch, especially if it’s double punch Wednesday where she’ll order a Chinese Chicken Salad (hold the noodles and toast, obvi) and a Chai/Thai bubble tea, (pink straw, please!)

After, she’ll run home to her apartment above Cath-erine Rooney’s and get changed into workout clothes. In the regular world, this would be an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt from YMCA summer camp back in ‘99. In a UDel girl’s world it’s a hot pink crop top with leggings and hot pink Nikes. After a few laps around the green she will have mastered the art of glisten-

ing without actually sweating and will end her run in front of Hollywood Tans. There’s no sense in having a year-round beach bod if it isn’t complete with a year-round beach tan too.

It’s 2:30 at this point and while Sociology 105 is so tempting... so is meeting the girls (again) for fro-yo, (non fat vanilla with only fruit toppings, duh). She should probably go study for her anthro exam in the morning but it’s almost time for happy hour from 4-7 at Santa Fe! With all the saved calories from that non-fat fro-yo, a few margs are totally acceptable. She’s been texting her “friend” that she only sees every once in a while after 2 a.m. about meeting up after Kate’s but... whoopsie! It’s Monday and Gossip Girl and The bachelor are on and that means its roomie date night complete with a fresh box of Franzia. It’s 10:30p.m. now and that Anthro exam isn’t going away, so she packs up her bag again and heads over to the library, first stopping at D&D for yet another coffee, and her day is finally over.

Beneath the layers of her perfectly toned, tanned skin and pre-cancerous skin cells, you’ll find that the UDel girl will end up a contributing member to society in one way or another. Maybe she’ll spend her after-noons carting her children to soccer practice in her Escalade, with her Starbucks in her freshly-manicured hand. Or maybe she’ll join the working force, move away to D.C. or Boston where her parents will pay her rent as they tell their friends what an up-and-comer their little girl is. Wherever she ends up in the world, her UDel years will always be gilded in gold leaf. Don’t worry, if you are around for more than 30 seconds you’ll be forced to hear about… so get ready.

A DAY In the lifeuD sTaff wroTe This

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Grant homeGRown

Bartenderof the Issueworked here for: 6 yearsfavorite drink to drink: Straight bourbon, or a gin and tonic.favorite drink to make: Pineapple Up-side-Down Martini (Svedka vanilla, ama-retto, pineapple juice and grenadine).least favorite drink to make: Mojitosfavorite karaoke song to sing: Anything by Elvis Costello.Most interesting thing you’ve seen at the bar: I had to break up a fight wearing a bunny suit once.Your hangover cure: A strong mimosa on the rocks and more sleep.

Guilty pleasures: Watching trashy TV with my girlfriend, like Bad Girls Club.best way to get drunk: Quickly.best hangover food: Scrambled-eggs and cheesebiggest turn off: People who aren’t self aware- like they don’t act according to their surroundingsBest night to go to homegrown” Wednes-day nights because Elizabeth bar tends and they have good music special talent? I am a punk rap magi-cian...its an illusionDo you ever perform at homegrown: Yes in my band hot Toddy and the wilming-ton wastoids

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