LOVELY HOPE

BY MOLLY CARTER

Copyright © 2015 Molly Carter

All rights reserved.

AUTHORS NOTE

As a self-published author, I do not have a contract or a time limit in which to produce my books. I do take my time when I write as I wouldn’t produce something I’m proud of. I try my best not to leave something on a cliff-hanger when the other book is not being produced at that moment in time. I will never raise my books beyond a price I am happy with. For the time being, all my books are free. I may raise my books to .99 but NEVER beyond that whilst I am still self-published. If you don’t like my book you’ll be happy you got it for free or maybe that cheap price. I don’t like to pay for a book and be unhappy that I wasted money on something I hate.

This is my gift to you. I hope you like my books and if it makes you feel, I did my job right.

This is dedicated to my Mother who always told me to do what makes me happy and to keep writing. Guess what Mum? I wrote.

I love you.

P.S. Please note, when you stock the fridge with chocolate, I will eat it. Xxx

CHAPTER ONE

HopeStanding in the corner of the quaint café, I stand stock still when the door alarm goes

off due to somebody opening it. I step forwards with a smile on my face only for it to slip and my eyes to bulge at the sight before me.

Dear.

God.

It has to be impossible for a man to be that hot. Clean and strong jaw? Check. Hair short and messy? Check. Sharp cheekbones? Check. One lone dimple? Check. Totally broad shoulders? Double check.

I think I’m feeling rather faint. I want one. Maybe I’m getting too far ahead of myself as he just ignored me and stormed to a table in the far corner. He could’ve bloody greeted me. Taking a deep breath, I grasp a menu and advance forward.

“Good afternoon! I’ll be your server Hope, is there anything I can get you to drink?” Tacking a smile on the end, I pray I don’t look like a shark with all my teeth out or perhaps a mental patient.

“Water. Bottled.” The hot man just grunts. Bloody grunts! I just nod really quickly and walk away even quicker. I chance a glance behind me and see him peering intently at my behind. Great, and he’s a pervert.

I grab some bottled mineral water and stalk forward; I can’t let him see I’m bothered by him.

“Have you decided what you’d like to eat?”

“Pancakes with a side of bacon, a side of hash browns and four slices of toast. Make it snappy.”

Was he just born without manners? It really wouldn’t kill for him to use them. I just flick my eyes up to him in response to see a glare directed my way. This town is just full of arseholes.

Heading back to the kitchen, I shout the order at the cafes cook. He just waves a spatula in response and I look around the building to see people eating happily and chattering away. I glance down at my mobile to see my daughters grinning face looking up at me. She’s so beautiful, too beautiful to come from something so shitty. I’m constantly enchanted by her beauty, her ability to smile even when we’re going through something tough and how she sees something wonderful in everythi-

“ORDERS UP!”

My head shoots up at the sound of the cook’s deep voice, heart racing out of surprise. He does this every time. I release a heavy sigh and trot towards the counter. Grasping the plate, I head towards Dickhead’s table. I throw his order onto the table and immediately stomp away. I’m not dealing with him acting like I’m nothing more than dirt on his shoe.

“Waitress lady….”

I turn…only to see him shaking his empty glass at me with a sardonic smile gracing his too beautiful face.

“Bastard.” I mutter this under my breath quietly- at least what I thought was quiet.

“What was that, dear?” Hottie coos.

He actually cooed. Ew. Okay, so I can pretend it wasn’t attractive but it so totally was.

I scoff, right in his face.

“Dear? Really? I’m quite disappointed that’s the best you can do, pretty boy.”

“Just you wait, lovely. I can show you what I can do when we’re both naked and sweaty.” He winks just to drive his point home.

Well, whatever. I’m not going to be a plaything for some guy who probably has girls crawling all over his muscular…tanned…gorgeous torso. I need to get laid, this can’t be healthy for me.

I slam his bill down even though he still hasn’t finished eating nor do I want to know if he needs anything else. I walk away and head towards the Cooking corner as all the staff call it.

“I’m outta here Jim. Gotta pick up Leila!”

“Bye! Thanks for today!”

I can’t fucking wait to get home to my everything and to get away from the guy who will be in my fantasies for the next month.

********

I walk through the school gates and notice my daughter waving frantically through the window to get my attention. I grin stupidly at her as I notice her tights have gotten holes in them from just one day and her chin is smothered in chocolate.

Her frumpy teacher sends her out the door and straight into my arms as I pick her up and twirl her around until she screams in delight.

“Mummy! Mummy! I drew you a picture today!” Her sweet voice draws me out of my euphoria of seeing her cherubic face after a gruelling day. A piece of paper is flapped in my face as I come to the realisation that I apparently look like a potato with stick arms and

legs. My daughter is the queen of flattery but I can see her face peering at me intently as I criticise her work. She obviously put a lot of effort into this and it makes me so proud to see her trying so hard.

“Baby, I love it. Is that you?” I point at a little wiggly blob which is standing beside me.

“Mummy…that’s daddy silly!” Her black eyes wiggle around as she tuts at how silly I’m being.

This conversation makes me uncomfortable, she’s seen and met her Father before but I feel he’ll always haunt her. I just pray she forgets him.

“I see Leila and why did you draw daddy?” My tone implies I’m curious but I’m burning up inside.

A heavy sigh escapes her as a pout dominates her petite face and a hand drifts up to lay upon her bony hip.

“I-I…All the other kids were drawing Daddy’s, Mummy. I looked silly so…I’m sorry.”

I think she just broke me in two.

“Sweetie, don’t you worry about a thing. It’s okay. Some people might not have a Mummy but you’re lucky that you have me. Okay?”

She peers up at me as a smile creeps onto her face and she giggles.

“Yes Mummy. Can we go get ice cream?”

How could I ever deny my special girl a nice treat? I grab her book bag and then her hand but before I can grasp it fully, she’s glancing around the playground to see if anyone’s watching before she grips it tightly. Ah, she’s growing up now.

********

I skulk into work the next morning sleepy as hell after staying awake half the night reading Leila stories. I don’t know how she manages it but she still had enough energy this morning for the both of us.

“Mornin’ Jim”

I just get the standard spatula response but I’ve learnt not to take it to heart. He just doesn’t like wasting words.

I scan the café and see a light blonde head residing it the corner.

Fuck. Me. He came back. I scowl as I tie my apron around my hips and I continue to watch him out of the corner of my eye. As if he senses my laser beams, he turns slowly. I’m

talking The Exorcist slowly. It’s freakin’ scary. I scuttle back a few steps only for him to raise a hand and beckon me towards him. I shake my head repeatedly and pivot around the counter to start cleaning.

After around an hour of cleaning places that absolutely don’t need cleaning in an attempt to stay busy and not look at the hot guy whose name I still haven’t learnt but I’m not yet sure I want to know.

“Hey! I need the bill!”

How convenient. He needs the bill when I’m not busy. That’s just my luck but what is lucky is that I’m not the only one working today. Hannah is working in the back sorting out deliveries so if I take my break now she’ll take care of…it.

Heading towards the rear of the café, I spot Hannah partially hidden by piles of boxes.

“Han, can you take care of a customer in there? I just need to take a break.”

“Sure hun, just keep an eye on the boxes, yeah?”

I nod agitatedly, glad that she’s doing this for me. I relax against the wall and take a deep breath. I hope he’s gone before I go back in.

CHAPTER TWO

“SHIT!” I screech. It’s pouring down outside and now we have a great big hole in our small bungalow’s roof. Having no clue how this happened, I pace the room, unsure what to do. Coming to a conclusion, I decide to ring a construction company to see if it’s fixable.

“Hello, I’m calling about an issue with my roof?”

“Good evening. What exactly is wrong with your roof?”

Shit. His voice is so hot- all gravelly.

“There’s a huge hole? Is this fixable?”

“Of course, ma’am. We’ll send someone round immediately.”

“How mu-.” Great, he’s gone. This will probably take all of our savings. I can’t afford this, we’re living pay check to pay check as it is. Leila will never have the latest doll or the shiniest shoes and it’s always weighing on my conscience. I can’t give my daughter the best she deserves.

********

An hour and a flooded bedroom later, I finally hear a knock on the door.

“MUM! Somebody’s there!” Even though she’s only sat next to me, she still feels it is okay to yell. Children never have volume control. I stroke a hand over her hair and head towards the door.

“Who’s there?”

“I’m from Donovan Construction Company. I’m here about a leaking roof.”

I open the door and turn back around. I didn’t even look at the poor guy.

“Follow me,” I mutter.

We both head to the back of the house where the master bedroom is located.

“As you can see, there’s a huge bloody hole in the roof.”

I turn around to look at him only to choke on my next words. It’s the hot guy from the café. I can tell by the widening of his eyes and the smirk creeping onto his face that he recognises me too.

“It’s nice to finally speak to you.”

“Oh, just fix the roof!”

“I didn’t introduce myself though. I’m Jesse Donovan.”

“Hope Brendon. Now fix the roof.” I flick my long hair over my shoulder and walk away from him. He’s intoxicating.

“Sure thing,” he purrs.

Purring on a guy should not be sexy whatsoever but oh lord, I think I just swooned. I head into the living room and see Leila sprawled on the sofa watching Spongebob whom I’ve always mistaken as a piece of cheese.

I kiss her forehead, settle down next to her and place her head on my lap.

********

I wake sometime later to something hissing and Leila’s hair in my mouth.

“Ms. Brendon. Wake. Up.”

My shoulder starts to shake so I peel my eyes open to see Jesse looking pointedly at me with his large hand resting on my shoulder. Shrugging him off, I stand up gently, being careful not to wake Leila.

“Is there a reason you just woke me?” I’m not trying to be rude but the dude just touched me for no reason.

“I like your spunk. I finished the roof,” He grins at me, showing me all his dazzling white teeth.

“I-I...I apologise. I don’t mean to be rude. How much will that be?”

I’m cringing so hard inside. He doesn’t deserve my anger even if he was rude when we first met. I’m a grown woman, I should use my manners.

“It’s free. Anyone who sleeps on a mattress on the floor won’t be able to pay the fee.”

“EXCUSE ME?!” The nerve! I only sleep on the floor so Leila can have that fancy bed she wanted. My face is heating up and feels hot to the touch.

“I mean no offense…”

“Get out.” I’m not having anyone point out our obvious issues. It’s none of his business nor will it ever be. I begin to herd him out the door until he points out he left his tools in the living room. I point at the ground, indicating he should stay there and head back to pick them up for him. When I’ve retrieved them, only then do I let out the breath I’ve been holding. I turn around and head back to the front door.

“Here, is that all?” I swing the box towards him only to accidentally hit him in the stomach and for him to double over.

“SHIT. I AM SO SORRY!” I’m an idiot. What do you do in those situations? I had no clue but I just kinda squatted and got in his face.

“Yeah…yeah I’m good,” he grunted, grunted like he was in pain. I’ve never felt so mean in my life. Placing my hands on my hips, I smile.

“Jesse, I’m twenty-one years old and I have a six year old daughter. I know when somebody is in pain. Do you need anything?”

“Twenty-one?” His eyes widen in surprise and he leans in closer.

“Do I look older? I knew I should’ve gotten that wrinkle cream,” Tutting, I pull on his arm to help him straighten.

“No…no that’s not what I’m saying. Now we’ve gotten past the ‘I don’t know your age’ stage, can we go out sometime?” His eyes widen almost comically and a hopeful smile drifts onto his face.

Grasping his arm properly, I open the front door, shove him out and slam it in his face.

CHAPTER THREE

I lean against the door as soon as it closes and groan. I really wanted to say yes to the date. I want to live life like a twenty-one year old should. I want to party, date boys and drink manically. But I have Leila. Now, I’m not saying I’d trade her for anything because that little girl is and always will be my world but I just want to live. I breathe Barbie’s and Spongebob and that’s not what I want with my life. I don’t want to stay here, stuck working in a miniscule café forever but if this is the only place we can find freedom far away from William? I’ll take it. I’ll grasp it with both hands and hold on tight.

The story of William and I, it’s a dark one. Too dark to talk about right now, I’m still sore. Not only from his fists on my skin but deep inside my bruised heart.

Shaking off the past, I walk into the bedroom to see a fixed roof and all of a sudden, a feeling of melancholy overtakes me causing me to stagger back. A thought occurs to me and I jog back to the front door and throw it open.

“Jesse.” I say. I just caught him when he was closing the company’s van door. His cute head peaks out and he cocks it to the side, indicating his curiousness.

“So she returns after throwing me out. That usually happens after I’ve slept with someone. Are you that eager to get me into bed?”

I fiddle with the edge of my dress and shuffle my feet. I’m so nervous.

“Uh…about that date?” I bite my lip. “C-Can we…ohmigod. I’m so bad at this. Can we do it?” The beads of sweat dripping down my neck clearly show I’m panicking.

Jesse places a hand against his wonderful chest and pretends to swoon.

“Are…are you asking me on a date?!” He gasps. “I’m sorry Hope; I’ll have to check my busy date schedule. I run a tight ship here.” He grins cheekily as I slap his chest and get up in his face and pout.

“We can go as friends. I just want to live Jesse. I wanna climb an active volcano and ride a Giraffe.”

He whistles at the two life missions and looks me up and down with a raised eyebrow and his dimple out.

“Are you sure you’re tall enough to ride that Giraffe? You have to be only five foot.” He places his hand on my head as if pretending to measure me.

I roll my eyes exasperatedly.

“I’m 5’1” actually. That one inch is crucial.” I nudge his stomach but it just feels like I’m hitting a bag of rocks. I’m going to bruise for definite.

“Was that meant to hurt?”

I pout once again.

“…No. Anyway, scram. If you’re not going to go out with me there’s no point in talking,” I declared as I begin to walk away. As I turn, I end up hitting myself in the eye with the tips of my hair. A note to all you guys out there, if this happens to your other half, do what Jesse did.

I end up squealing and grasping at my eye or at least attempting to. Jesse rushes to me and immediately begins to panic as he can see no visible injuries.

“Do you need mouth-to-mouth? What do I do? Jesus, Hope. Tell me. Oh god. I need an ambulance.” His eyes are darting all over my body and if I didn’t feel as if my eye were going to fall out, I’d be extremely embarrassed.

“Oh, Romeo. Save me dear Romeo,” I giggle as he sighs and steps backwards.

“Are you really joking right now when your eye is all red and icky looking?”

“Don’t point out my obvious flaws. I’m going to have to call you Tybalt now, you’re no Romeo.” I spin around once again and this time, I don’t hit myself in the eye.

“Starbucks tomorrow. 2pm, don’t be late, Juliet,” he utters behind me.

“It’s only cool when I reference Shakespeare,” I yell over my shoulder.

I reach the door and wave over my shoulder like the awkward person I am. What is one meant to do in those situations…should I have shaken my booty or perhaps done a flirty wink? I guess it’s too late now. I open the door and go to slam it behind me.

“Hope! Whe-” The door slams in the middle of his sentence. Goddammit. I want to know what he said. Would it be weird if I peered round the door to see if he’s still there? I decide against this and head into the small kitchen to cook dinner.

********

Running around like a headless chicken seems to be my forte lately. I currently have half of my hair curled and one hand painted hot pink. My nails…not my hand. I told myself I’m not going to make an effort because we’re going as friends but I want to impress him for some unknown reason. I apply my foundation, powder and blush before I hear a knock on the door. My brow puckers as I notice the time is only noon. I get up and open my bedroom door to see the man himself. Jesse is stood there looking spectacular in worn out jeans and a burnt orange button up. I tie the sash of my flimsy robe around my waist and look at him pointedly.

“Is there a reason you’re stood in my house two hours before we’re due to meet?”

“I decided that it’s rude not to pick a lady up and I didn’t know what time you were going to be ready so here I am,” he decreed, waving his hands in a jazz hand motion.

“Stay in here while I get ready.”

I hurry back in my bedroom and finish my makeup and hair. I decided to go with nude smoky eyes and a beige lipstick. I head to the wardrobe and flick through all my hangers, shaking my head and tutting at each one. None of these are right. I look at the mess at the bottom and find a pale pink summer dress covered in frills that’s casual but is also slightly dressy. Pleased at my choice, I go towards the corner of my bedroom where all my shoes are piled on top of each other. I choose tan ballet flats to go with the dress. As I walk by, I glance in the mirror and decide I look pretty good. Anxious but good.

Flinging open the door, I turn the corner to the living room and spot something that astonishes me.

Leila is curled up to Jesse on the sofa and he’s reading her a story. She’s sat there quietly, enraptured by his deep voice. I lean against the door frame and close my eyes. I’ve never seen Leila so at peace with somebody other than me before. Unfortunately, when we were still with William she saw things no child or even adult should ever witness in their lifetime. I was afraid it had damaged her forever and she’d never be able to live normally. She’d never be able to trust a man. A child is meant to have a sixth sense which is trust. Leila clearly trusts Jesse and I feel as though I should take this as a sign and enter this…relationship head first with both eyes open.

I come to the realisation that, although I don’t know Jesse very well, I love his confidence and how comfortable he is around me that he’s able to joke and he understands me.

“You look amazing.”

I open my eyes to see sparkling blue eyes gazing right into mine. I feel my body begin to shake with the intensity of his gaze and a blush covers my face. I try and portray a confidence just like his.

“Why thank you, kind sir. You look pretty dapper yourself,” I grin and I bow at the waist but then I feel a slap on my arm. Glancing down, I see Leila glowering at me.

“Mummy please stop that. You’re embarrassing me in front of my new friend!” Her brow is crinkled and her eyes are squinting.

“Leila, you know not to speak to me like that. I am afraid that I have to borrow your friend for a little while. Hannah is coming over to watch you,” I reprimand.

I grab Jesse’s arm and we head to the driveway.

CHAPTER FOUR

Jesse buckles my seatbelt as I lean back in his fancy SUV. He comes around to the driver seat and clambers on in.

“Okay, Hope. I don’t know how to approach this but I want to blindfold you,” he cautions.

Both my eyebrows shoot up as a giggle escapes me.

“Are you kinky?” I really didn’t mean to say that.

His face heats up as though we approached a touchy topic of his. It seems my question was right on the mark. Who woulda guessed?

“…no…no. I just don’t want you to see where we’re going, that’s all,” he says.

I lean forward and close my eyes, inviting him to blindfold me. Jesse places it gently over my eyes and once he ties it his fingers graze my powdered cheek. My heart begins to drum as darkness envelopes me.

William used to cover my face with a cushion when we had sex just because he’s a sadistic son-of-a-bitch and enjoys causing fear. Darkness has always been a challenge of mine ever since I was a child. I begin to fumble in the darkness as my breathing begins to escalate. I start to scratch at my face…I can’t find the opening on the blindfold.

“Sshh Hope, sshh. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Don’t worry, I’m here,” Jesse soothes.

My mind stops racing as I recognise Jesse’s arms cocooning me and I realise I’m not back in that hell with William. I’m here with a kind-hearted man and although he treated me dreadfully when we first met (I’m going to make him explain that. I’m not standing for being treated like crap), I have to move on from the past just like everyone else who goes through a traumatic situation.

“C-can you take the blindfold off?” My voice is scratchy as though I’ve been screaming. Jesse’s hands reach around the back of my head and tug, undoing it.

Jesse’s watery smile draws my attention back to him and I’m surprised to see regret written all over his beautiful face.

“What happened to you?” he asks.

“I was in a…” I sigh. “I suppose you could say abusive. I don’t want to give labels to such a horrifying time in my life.”

His calloused hand strokes down my curled hair and I lean into it.

“Shall we get to our date, sweetheart?” he questions.

I nod, eager to get out of the gloomy moment and to go on my first ever date.

********

Ten minutes later we arrive at a large suburban home. I look out the corner of my eye at Jesse and see a soft smile on his face. Great, that just drew my attention to his luscious pink lips. I shake myself out of it and go to open my door.

“Hope, I should warn you tha-”

“JESSE BABY! YOU’RE HERE!”

My head swivels round faster than I’ve ever moved. I take in the woman whose high pitched squeal carried through the window. She’s breathtakingly beautiful. I begin to question whether Jesse has brought me to see his other half. No, he wouldn’t do that. But would he? I barely know the man but I know I can trust him and I don’t think he’d ever walk over my feelings that way.

He steps out of the SUV and heads round to my side to help me down. I grasp his hand and smile graciously at him and then the fabulous looking woman.

Jesse approaches her with his hand still in mine and he bends down to kiss her tanned cheek.

“Ma, it’s nice to see you. This is Hope, my woman.” He tacks a grin on the end and turns to me.

His woman.

His.

Woman.

I think I just died and went to heaven. We barely know each other though. This discussion will have to wait till later. I’d love to meet his family.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Donovan. Jesse wouldn’t stop talking about how beautiful you are and how much he looks up to you,” I sneakily add. That’ll get him back for springing all that “his woman” crap on me.

His mother blushes albeit gracefully.

“Oh hush dear, call me Jessica,” she husks. Christ, even her voice is striking. I can feel Jesse’s glare at my back but I’m too busy listening to Mrs. Dono- Jessica talk about how Jesse used to wear dresses as a young child.

This afternoon is going to be interesting.

CHAPTER FIVE

I follow Jesse’s mother into the sprawling home in a state of awe. No wonder Jesse shunned my drab house. Jessica is currently chattering my ear off about all her kids. I’m surprised to hear Jesse has two brothers and a sister. He never mentioned anything of the sort to me but then again, when have we ever spoken a full conversation without me or him getting pissed off? Jessica mentions something that garners my attention.

“Jesse hasn’t stopped talking about you lately. He’s obsessed,” she says. I turn slightly with surprise.

“Really? I…I don’t know what to say,” I scrunch my nose, “We don’t really know each other.”

Jessica just smiles knowingly as we reach a fantastic garden. It has to be professionally done; no garden has ever been this perfect. I hear Jesse come up beside me as he grasps my hand- which I immediately try to pull out of with no avail – and pulls me towards a bench.

“I should give you the heads up about my brothers. My sister probably won’t turn up,” he says, turning to face me, “there’s Beckett who everyone calls Bear. He’s part of an MC ‘round here and has…earned himself a troublesome reputation, I suppose you could say. And the other brother is Roman. He’s the absolute opposite of both me and Bear. He loves computers and gaming and has never had a chick in his life. At least, I don’t think so. He’s probably gay,” he shrugs.

I tut. They’re all complete opposites. I lean into his shoulder as a loud ruckus sounds from the east side of the garden.

An extremely large, muscled man with a face covered in metal and tattoos up to his neck strolls into the garden. My eyes widen, he’s so intimidating. I attempt to shrink behind Jesse as he approaches us with a large grin on his face, showing all of his dazzling white teeth. This family just has beautiful teeth.

Jesse drapes his arm over my shoulder and pulls us to meet the man halfway.

“’Sup, little bro. Is this that chick you wouldn’t stop yappering on about?” grunts the man.

This must be Bear. I’m not quite sure whether to call him Beckett or Bear…

“Fuck off Bear. Go back to one of your skanks,” Jesse laughs, lifting his chin. I feel really awkward stood here doing nothing so I take a step forward, lifting my hand only to be stopped halfway with an arm around my waist. I glance back at Jesse to see him glaring at me with a scowl on his face. What’s his problem? I clear my throat and step back. I’m not arguing with him here.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Bear. I apologise about not being able to shake your hand because of Neanderthal back here,” I murmur, glancing back at Jesse.

Bear just shakes his head as Jesse continues glaring. He pulls us along with Bear talking about something to do with guns. We each take a seat at a round table to settle down and eat.

********

We’re all currently eating delicious food prepped by Mr. Donovan whose name I learnt was Damon. Damon was just entertaining us with a story about the time he got chased by seagulls. It’s a pretty surreal thing to imagine because he’s a large, gruff man himself. He’s attractive; don’t get me wrong, he’s just slightly daunting.

We’re all giggling at Damon’s latest tale when a cute man rushes through the house and straight to the table. He looks like Hugh Dancy with blonde hair. I survey his outfit and come to the conclusion that this is Roman, the third and youngest brother, judging by his gaming shirt. He ignores everyone but Jesse whose hand is placed high on my thigh.

“I need your help. I met someone,” he says as he grasps his hair in both hands.

Jesse smiles widely.

“That’s great, sweetheart. When can we meet him?” Jessica says, looking at her son with hopeful eyes.

Roman looks hurt, his eyebrows furrowed.

“HIM?! You think I’m gay? I met a WOMAN, Ma. A woman who’s scary and I’ve never met anyone like her.”

Jessica stands up and walks next to Roman, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Sweetie, you’ve never brought a woman over. I mean, neither has Jesse or Beckett but they dated in High School. All you ever did was bring home new video games. We’re all happy for you though,” Jessica says, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He gets a nod from everyone in the family and he gets a huge smile from me. It’s nice to see people falling in love. Am I falling in love with Jesse? I’m not sure but I know I could spend many days like this, in a state of constant bliss surrounded by family. This makes my shoulders drop as I think of Leila. I stand.

“I’m sorry everyone but I’m going to have to leave,” I say, unsure whether to mention Leila. Has Jesse told them?

Jesse stands with me as he says goodbye to everyone. He kisses his Mother on the cheek and pats his Dad and brothers on the back in a way that only men can.

He guides me out of the house with a possessive hand placed upon my back and as we reach the car, he pins me against it, placing his forehead on mine.

“Thank you so much today, Hope. You don’t know how much that meant to me. I’ve never been able to take a girl home nor have I ever wanted to take a girl home,” he says, “there are no words ever created to explain how I feel about you.”

He places his soft lips on mine. My body feels at peace. I kiss him harder as a tear slides down my face and shocks shoot through my body from the close contact. Is that how you’re meant to feel with a man you don’t really know? I’ve never dated but if it is, I’ll carry on kissing Jesse for the rest of my life.

He moves his head away and wraps his hand around the back of my neck as he quietly exhales.

“I’d love to kiss you all day but let me get you home to Leila.”

He opens the passenger door and picks me up at the waist to help me inside. I smile gratefully and turn up the radio. I adore Every Avenue.

Jesse just shakes his head at me as he climbs in too. He turns on the engine, places his hand on my knee and he drives me home.

CHAPTER SIX

After Jesse has dropped me off, I bound through the front door, excited to see Leila when something crunches beneath my heel. I look down to see a note stuck beneath it. My daughter probably drew me a picture again. Picking it up, I glance down and my hand starts shaking crazily.

Hope baby,

It’s me, William. I’m coming for you, you know. You left me. You took Leila and left me. Don’t worry though, I’ll be there soon. I’ll be there to hurt you. I’ll take Leila and chop you into pieces. Your daughter will never see you again.

William

My breathing becomes heavy as I drop to my knees and sob.

He found us.

The crazy fucker actually found us.

I’m trying so hard to keep my daughter happy, I forgot about the danger always lurking around the corner. My screams echo down the short hallway as my full body starts to shake along with my hand. My hand fumbles to find my phone and I quickly type in the passcode which is difficult thanks to my shaking. I find the name I need and call it.

“It’s me. Can you come over really quickly? I need you,” I burst out, hanging up as soon as I say it.

Ten minutes and a bucket of tears later, Jesse bursts open the door with a frantic look on his face, breathing heavy. He rushes towards me and places me in his lap, rocking me back and forth.

“It’s okay, I’m here. Sssh,” he whispers and kisses my nose, “don’t be sad. It’s all okay, I promise. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

“H-h-he found u-u-us,” I stutter over my sobs.

“Who, Hope? Who found you? Tell me so I can help!” he growls.

“William,” I murmur.

Jesse looks confused at my answer.

“William?”

“The ex, he left us a note,” I say.

“Show me the note.”

I shove it in his hand and bury my tear stained face into his shoulder. Jesse doesn’t respond to the note but his body tightens and he holds me tighter. He kisses my temple and strokes my hair.

“He won’t hurt you. I’ll save you from him. I will always be your salvation Hope. I’ll get the bastard,” he says, his voice pained. He rises from the ground with me still in his grasp and heads towards my bedroom.

“Let me settle you down. You need to rest.”

He places me on the side of the mattress and pulls the thin sheet over me. My eyes close straight away and I begin to fall asleep. Just before I drift off, I feel his body settle next to mine as he whispers in my ear.

“I’ll never leave you.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

I wake in the early light of day with my body contorted and a dead leg. I glance down to where my leg has lost all feeling and find a third leg. I frown. Unless I’ve grown a leg over night, I don’t think that’s mine. I look to my left to see Jesse’s young, relaxed face a few inches from mine. My eyes drift down his fully clothed body and find his hand placed possessively on my hip. Jeez, he’s territorial even in his sleep.

I roll out from under him, freezing when he moans and shifts in his sleep as though looking for me. When he settles his arm under one of the pillows, I relax. I’m not ready to talk about last night just yet. I glance over to Leila’s side of the room and see she’s…missing.

A wave of panic comes over me as I think of where she went.

William.

William must have her.

I reach for my phone only to find it’s not there. I run into the hallway and see it’s near the front door where I left it during my breakdown last night. I unlock it to see over ten missed calls from Hannah. I finally breathe out. She was with Hannah last night so she must be sleeping there. I decide to ring her.

After ringing a handful of times, she finally answers as though she has just woken. .Glancing down at the time, I see it’s only four in the morning.

“I’m sorry Han! I didn’t realise the time and I panicked when I didn’t see Leila there,” I utter.

“It’s fine, I was going to drop her off last night but you didn’t answer your phone and I didn’t want to turn up for you to not be there,” she groans.

“Can I pick her up now? I know it’s early.”

“No no, that’s fine. She’s already awake anyway.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

I head into the kitchen to leave Jesse a note.

I’ve just nipped out for a moment to pick up Leila. If you wake up before I get back, please stay. I need to explain a few things.

That should do it. I grab my coat and head out.

********

Me and Leila both walk through the front door and see Jesse sitting on the frayed sofa with a glass of orange juice in his hand. Leila squeals as soon as she sees him, running until

she lands on his lap. I have no idea why she likes him so much. She starts to tell him about what she did at Hannah’s until I cut her off.

“Jesse. Come into the bedroom. I need to talk to you. Leila, stay in here please,” I demand. I head towards the bedroom with Jesse trailing at my heels. I settle on the bed and he perches next to me.

“I met William when I was just fifteen and he was nineteen. We knew each other about a week before we started dating. My parents weren’t happy. You could say they kicked me out. Having nowhere to stay, William invited me to stay at his place. Mistaking infatuation for love, I agreed without thinking. Before I moved in, I was getting A’s at school, all across the board. I was there every day, I had friends and I was just…happy to be there. When I moved in, William was fine at first until one day, he just wasn’t. He stopped letting me out. I could only go out with him. I stopped going to school. I lost touch with my friends. I could only eat with his permission. When he took away all my abilities to run away, we slept together. I thought he was just being a protective boyfriend by not letting me out so of course, I let him sleep with me. That’s when he first hurt me,” I look at my hands and glance at Jesse to see him frowning, “when we slept together, he wrapped his hands around my neck and squeezed. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was going to die. No, I knew I was going to die. I started to panic, I mean, of course I did! Until he let me go. By that time he was finished. We didn’t use protection. I think that was when I got pregnant with Leila. Ever since he slept with me that first time, I refused. That didn’t matter to him. I was forced. Every. Single. Day.. I couldn’t hack it anymore so I tried to run. I was almost out of the door but then he caught me. He beat me so bad that day; I needed to go to the Hospital. When I was all sewn up, I got told I was pregnant. William acted like the doting boyfriend at the Hospital but when I was discharged, he got mad. You’re a slut, he said. You did this on purpose, he said. I didn’t do it on purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change Leila for the world. I was with William for five years before I got away. Leila was only young but she was still five fucking years old. Five years’ worth of beatings she saw. That’s five years of happiness she will never get. I bet you’re wondering how I got away. He beat me so bad one day he broke my leg. So I got a plan and when the bastard was sleeping, I stabbed him. He only let me into the bathroom with him stood there, so when I was in the bath, I stole a razor. Leila and I ran so fast into the night. We hopped from town to town until we settled here, thinking he’d never find us. We shouldn’t have stopped running because now he’s found us and he’s going to kill me, Jesse,” I exhale, glad it’s free.

Jesse’s hand was curling into a fist on his knee as a tear slides down his face. I gasp in surprise.

“Why are you crying for me?” My shock is evident in my voice.

“Don’t you see? I’m falling in love with you,” he hiccups whilst sobbing.

I begin to cry too. We barely know each other but I know I’m falling for this man too. I curl onto the bed and he curls around me. We’re spooning. I’ve never spooned before but I’m glad it’s with Jesse. I wish I had all my firsts with Jesse. I grasp his hand in mine, kissing it before settling it near my hip.

“Thank you,” I whisper as my eyes drift close. He kisses my lips gently as I drift off.

CHAPTER EIGHT

JesseI look down at Hope who is sleeping next to me and in this moment, I feel blessed -

blessed to have met her, to fall in love with her and blessed to feel her happiness. I heave myself up off the bed and see it’s only six in the morning. It’s been two hours since Leila was picked up and I learnt about their past. It seems so much later.

Heading into the living room, I hear the sounds of soft giggling. I turn my head around the corner to see Leila as close to the small TV as she can get. She’s watching some show with a pink blobby thing. Kids TV shows are just weird these days.

I walk and drop myself down next to her. She looks at me with her black eyes shimmering and a small, shy smile on her face and I fall. I fall hard. I start to imagine all the children Hope and me could have. I grin back, settle on the shag rug and we both watch this creepy show.

********

After an omnibus of that blobby dick dancing around the TV, Leila decides she’s bored so she shoves a handful of Barbie’s in my hand. Barbie is currently on a date with Ken but Ken stole Barbie’s handbag. It’s quite complex. I hear footsteps behind me and turn around to see Hope’s beautiful sleepy face looking us both on the floor. Should I get up? Am I pushing my limits?

I straighten my legs; walk towards her and envelope her in my arms. Resting my chin on her head, I close my eyes. Moments like these make me happy to live. I hum in contentment.

“Come into work with me today?” I say. It’d be nice to have her next to me while I slave away.

“Okay. I need to drop Leila off at school first though,” she croons in my ear. My eyes widen. I didn’t expect her to give in so easily. I grin cheekily. I could do this every day. I want her next to me all day every day.

She suddenly takes a step back.

“I’m not quitting my job. I’m off the schedule for the next week anyhow. It’s just for today Jesse,” she frowns. I just nod like I agree when in reality I’m plotting all the ways I can keep her next to me.

She takes Leila into the bedroom to get themselves ready. After half an hour Leila comes bounding out with her hair in braids and her cute little jumper and skirt on. Another half hour later, Hope comes out in a pair of skinny blue jeans- which I’d like to say make her legs look hot- and an off the shoulder sweater. Her face free of makeup, which she absolutely

doesn’t need anyway and her hair is wavy. She is flawless in my eyes and I’ll never change her for the world.

“C’mon, are you coming with us?”

I nod my head and grab my car keys off the counter.

We arrive at the school and Hope tells me to wait in the car. That stings. Is she ashamed of me? I sigh and turn my music up louder.

CHAPTER NINE

HopeJesse’s hurt face keeps flashing in my mind when I told him he couldn’t come with

me to drop off Leila. Parents are bitchy and judgemental. I couldn’t stand people questioning his role in Leila’s life.

When I get back to his ridiculously tall car, I can hear his music blasting from where I’m standing. I frown. He’s probably just enjoying the song. I climb in and grasp his hand in mine. He glances at me from the corner of his eye and we head towards his work place.

The Donovan Construction Company building is nothing impressive. It’s literally just a block with an office and a lounge. I trail behind Jesse as we walk in. There’s a group of men crowding near the coffee machine.

Jesse stops walking as we near.

“Hope. The scary looking dude with the faux hawk is my cousin Flynn and the guy next to him is my uncle Kingsley. The other two people in the corner are also relatives. The guy with the curly hair is Miller, he’s my cousin and the other guy is my other uncle, Dan. Kingsley is married to my Aunt Cora and Miller is dating a woman called Adalyn,” he explains. He has so much family. I just have the one person. I smile at everyone and just get a bunch of chin lifts in response and one, “hey honey,” but I have no idea who said that. Jesse just carries on pulling me through the building until we reach the office.

“I’m just working on paperwork today so we can just stay in here all day.”

I look at him and see him looking at me intently. Too intently. I look away quickly as I feel my face heat up and a chuckle vibrates through his chest. He settles me down on a comfortable sofa and I watch him work.

********

I wake when I feel something tickling me. I burrow further into the sofa, desperate to escape back to my dream world. The goddamn tickling won’t stop and I attack. Well, I punch.

“FUCK HOPE,” Jesse roars. I shoot up off the sofa, half of my hair stuck to my damp face and run towards him. I caress his face and kiss it repeatedly. I’m not one to initiate romantic gestures normally. I like a man to show how he cares but with Jesse I let go of all my inhibitions.

His twinkling eyes distract me. I look at him, confused.

“You hit my shoulder, nowhere important. I just wanted your attention.”

I take a step back and glare at him. His shaking shoulders indicate he finds this hilarious but it’s absolutely not. I’m not comfortable showing affection unless it’s to my daughter. Affection gets you in trouble. Affection took me to William.

An arm being flung over my shoulder drags me out of my woeful thoughts. I twist my head to see his handsome face inches from mine.

“C’mon, I woke you so we could go to lunch. Dan and Miller are gonna meet us there shortly,” he announces.

I love Jesse’s family especially mother having only met her once, his father too. Bear seems genuine and through that rough exterior, I see a gentle family man even if he tries to hide it. I’m not sure on his cousins and uncles though. His family is obviously dominated by men and I don’t think I like that. I feel as though I may always have to have my guard up. Is it necessary? Probably not.

I nibble on the corner of my lip as Jesse continues to tell me about where we’re going to eat. It’s apparently a barbecue place at least…that’s what I think I heard. We pass through the empty building which has cleared out since this morning. It appears to be just me and Jesse in the building but when I ask him he says Kingsley is working in the garden. He also did Jessica and Damon’s garden too. He seems to be some kind of gardening genius. I find that surprising. Kingsley’s a large, toned man and I couldn’t imagine him tending to the tulips. I told Jesse this and he just laughed.

********

“Can I have, um, a glass of orange juice, please?” I glance up at the waitress to see her staring at Jesse longingly. He doesn’t even notice her; he’s too busy smirking at my jealous glare. What a dick. I shake my head at him and when the waitress sees he’s not interest, only then does she write down my order…five minutes later.

Jesse just grunts his order at her like he did that first time we met which reminds me!

“Why were you rude to me that day we met?”

He seems surprised at my question. He has to know how rude he was though.

“I was, ah, in a bad mood that day. Something happened earlier and I took it out on you. I’m sorry,” his empathetic smile makes me swoon. I’ll always let him make silly mistakes if he continues looking at me like that for the rest of our lives.

Rest of our lives?!

Bloody hell! Where are my thoughts at? I’m not sure what I am to Jesse nor do I want to ask. I glance around at the empty diner.

“Where are Miller and Nixon?” I ask.

“I told them not to come. Every minute I can get alone with you? I’m gonna take it,” he whispers, grasping my small hands in his large ones.

I swoon.

CHAPTER TEN

Jesse dropped me and Leila at home saying he had “shit to do”. I’ve been spending so much time with him lately that I’ve neglected my house work. It’s not on the list of my favourite things to do but it needs to be done eventually.

An hour or two later, I’m worn out. Who knew cleaning a bungalow with only two inhabitants would take so long?

I take Leila a glass of milk to where she’s sprawling on the sofa and check my phone. I keep looking at it every couple of minutes to see if Jesse has checked in. I can’t help it; he’s just so goddamn addictive.

I lock all the doors in the house, close the windows and tell Leila I’m going to lay down.

I wake sometime later when I feel a hand ghosting along my hip but when I shoot up, nothing’s there. It’s like it was in my imagination but I know I felt it. It was warm. I could feel the soft texture. I sigh and throw my head back, pausing slightly when I hear a crinkling sound. I grab the offending item and look at it.

You never took my warning seriously last time. Tut tut. I thought you’d learn to be a good girl, Hope. That daughter of ours is beautiful but it seems she has a new Daddy now. Too bad the first Daddy is coming back to haunt you both. Watch your back.

William

Fucking. Hell.

He touched me. He went near Leila. My eyes widen. Leila! I throw my blanket from my body and stalk into the living room, relaxing when I hear her heavy breathing and see her still thrown over the sofa. I slouch against the wall. He was so close to us. It’s not safe for us anymore. I’m starting to rethink my idea of staying in this god forsaken town.

Would it be rude to ask Jesse to stay at his place? I place my palm against my forehead to try and calm my racing thoughts. I’ll call him.

It takes a few moments for the call to connect as if he was deciding whether to answer it or not. There’s loud noises in the background. I frown. Is he out partying?

“Hello? Who’s this?” I thought he had my name in his phone…

“Jesse? It’s Hope…I need you to come round,” I whisper, looking at Leila from my peripheral view.

“For fucks sake Hope, not now!” he yells. What’s his problem? My bottom lip quivers.

“W-what?”

“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just now is not the best time,” he counters.

I sigh, “William was here,” my fist tightens on my thigh, “we can’t stay here.”

“WHAT? Hope, you can’t leave me,” he chances. After shouting at me, he’s begging me to stay?

“I’m not bloody having you speaking to me like that, Jesse. I’m not someone you can boss around. I just meant moving homes,” I hum, shaking my head. It’s like talking to a brick wall half the time.

He perks right up.

“You can move in with me! I’m coming over right this minute,” he declares.

I grin. I love being protected, not harmed.

“Pack a suitcase baby, you’re coming to my place,” his cheeky smile seems to carry through the phone. It warms my heart. I put the phone down and walk towards Leila. Shaking her gently, she wakes up.

“Hey honey, we’re going to stay with Jesse for a while. Pack a bag, okay?”

Her squeals nearly burst my eardrums. It’s nice to see her beam.

********

Two hours later and Jesse still isn’t here. I guess he never said when he was coming but I would assume he’d be here by now. What’s keeping him?

I scrub a hand down my face and glance at my angel. She went back to sleep but I can tell she’s worried about him. I’m worried too. I start to pace once again only stopping when I hear a car pull into the small driveway. Finally! He’s here.

He hammers on the door loud enough to wake Leila and cause her to shoot up. She runs over to the door and flings it open, wrapping her short arms around his legs.

Jesse’s heavy frown softens slightly but he still looks like he’s in a pissy mood.

He doesn’t say anything but grabs our bags and heads back to the car. I have no idea what to do.

I grasp Leila’s hand in mine and we both climb in the back of the car. When Jesse clambers on in and notices I’m not next to him, he glares at me viciously and starts the car. His knuckles are white on the wheel. Something is clearly on his mind.

********

He stops the car in front of a nice apartment complex. It’s not fancy by any means but it’s probably the nicest place we’ve ever stayed in. Jesse just hauls himself out of the car, still

without uttering a word. Not one word was spoken on the drive here. Even Leila stayed silent.

We both follow him to his huge apartment. It’s, well, a man cave in the simplest of terms. It’s all sleek and black with a huge plasma TV. I purse my lips when I see him head to the large fridge and grab a bottle of beer.

My hand on Leila’s shoulder tightens. William always drank when he was going to punish me. It brings back memories- just not the good ones.

“Are you going to say something?” I mutter.

He glances up at me.

“Your bedroom is through there,” he points down the hall, “I’m not in the mood to share,” he growls, walking off to his bedroom.

Wow.

I feel welcomed.

I grab our stuff and drag it to the bedroom. It’s designed exactly like the rest of the home- modern and manly.

We both settle down in the king size bed. Hopefully he’s happier in the morning.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I wake when I hear Jesse pottering around in the open kitchen and the nattering of Leila through the door. I sigh heavily when I remember the attitude he was in last night. I suppose he can’t be too bad at the moment due to the fact that Leila is not silent and he seems to be replying.

Heaving myself off the too comfortable bed, I grab a cardigan from the end of the bed which is where I dumped it last night.

I head into the open space kitchen and see Jesse pouring a glass of juice and Leila is sat on the island eating cereal. They both stop talking when they spot me and I smile nervously. I have no idea why I’m nervous. Jesse smiles at me. I frown. Is he going to pretend like it never happened?

I walk up to him, pop up on my tiptoes as though I’m going to kiss him but at the last minute, I take a detour to his ear.

“Meet me in the spare bedroom,” I whisper. I’m not going to leave this unsolved.

He nods sharply and continues pouring the juice.

I walk by Leila, stroke her hair and head into the spare room to wait for Jesse. Whilst I’m waiting, I get dressed into a pair of blue skinny jeans and a baggy wool jumper. No point in making in an effort today. I also put my hair up into a messy knot on top of my head. No points to me today on the attractive scale.

Five minutes later, Jesse comes in with a scowl on his face. It reminds me of when we first met. His scowl had seemed permanent then too.

“What did you want to talk about?” he snaps.

I stand. I’m not listening to him talking to me like that.

“Hey! Don’t bloody talk to me like that, Jesse. I’m not having it,” I yell. I’m not usually one to yell but Jesus Christ. There’s no need for that. He seemed in a good mood earlier.

He scrubs his palm roughly across his face and sits down on the bed. It groans under his muscled weight.

He jumps straight into it.

“I got someone pregnant,” he whispers.

My heart starts to pound in my chest and tears well up in my eyes. He…got…someone…pregnant.

I fall to the floor in a heap and start to sob.

He joins me on the floor and runs his hand over my shoulder. He would’ve done that to the other girl. He would’ve caressed her skin, he would’ve kissed her lips and he planted a goddamn baby inside of her. We haven’t even reached that point in our relationship yet. We kissed. That’s all we did. Yet he goes and gets another woman pregnant!

“W-w-why?!” I stutter over the sobs shaking my body. It seems to be all I do around Jesse. For a man who says he’s falling for me and a man I’m falling for myself, all he makes me do is cry.

“It happened a week after I met you. I couldn’t get you out of my mind and I knew, I knew you were the one for me, Hope. But I didn’t listen to what my heart was telling me. I listened to my head. I knew I needed to get away so I did the one thing I know I’m good at. I had sex. I had sex with another woman who wasn’t you Hope, and I promise you, I promise I regret that,” he mutters.

I stand up, shaking off his hand.

“That’s not the bloody point! You got her pregnant! A woman who isn’t ME!” I scream at him. I look around the large room and spot a lamp. I quickly walk over to it and grasp it in my hand.

“Hope, don’t leave me,” he begs. I can see the tears shimmering in his azure eyes.

I throw the lamp at him. I’m no violent woman but I can’t stay in here with him. It narrowly misses his head and he ducks. I run past him and walk out.

Once again, a man broke me. He broke me and my daughter.

********

JesseAs soon as I hear that front door slam, I throw my fist through the wall. And guess

what? It fucking hurts. Just like my aching heart. Stupid Annalise and her slutty legs tempting me. I shake my fist which is hurting like hell and dripping with blood and stalk through the apartment. I’m going to go hunt down Hope. Perhaps not my smartest of ideas but I need to get her back. She’s mine.

When I arrive at Hope’s house ten minutes later, I realise it’s eerily empty. There are no lights on and all the windows are wide open.

I start to panic when I think of the fact that William might have her. The sadistic bastard.

I run forward and as I reach the front door, I remember to breathe. I start to hammer on the door but then I notice a note.

Jesse,

FUCK YOU!

Assuming this is from Hope, I crunch it in my fist. I slam all her windows shut. I’m so pissed off. I kick Hope’s door as hard as I can and head to my car.

I’m going to get drunk and forget all my sorrows. Fuck it all.

CHAPTER TWELVE

HopeOnce again, I’m still sobbing over Jesse. It’s been over a week since I last saw and

heard from him yet my heart is still shattered. I think it’s going to be like this for a long time. I don’t think a large glass of wine will heal this pain. Only time and perseverance will fix me. I’m terrified of bumping into Jesse but I suppose it’s an impossible dream.

Leila and I are currently packing up our things to leave the hotel. I’ve kept Leila and myself out of school and work for this week. I think Leila understands what’s going on and that she can no longer be friends with Jesse.

She’s not spoken much at all since I stormed out and pulled her behind me. I paused outside Jesse’s door and just let myself take in everything that had just happened. We left though after I heard a loud bang which I assumed was Jesse’s fist through some unknown object. Violence is my biggest fear, of course, so I ran a mile when I heard that sound.

We’re walking through the hotel now and it’s creepily empty. I understand why though. It’s a small town and I doubt many people visit it for long breaks.

Twenty minutes later, we arrive at home. I frown when I realise all of the windows are shut. I’m sure I left them all them open in my hasty escape. That’s weird. Ah, oh well, it’s better than them being open.

Shifting the bags in my hands, we both head to the front door on aching feet.

I’m still limping a week later due to the fact I tripped and twisted my ankle in my haste to leave Jesse and the shit storm he created behind.

I shake out of my thoughts when I feel Leila grasp onto my upper thigh. Glancing down, I see an apprehensive look dominating her face.

I understand how she feels in this moment because even though our home is tiny, in the late evening light it looks imposing. It’s probably dark enough for someone to hid- no. I shouldn’t think like that.

Ten minutes later, we’re finally in the house and settling down for a night in our own beds.

I begin to close my eyes when I hear something that breaks me even more.

“Love you JeJe,” Leila murmurs.

I do too.

********

After dropping Leila off at school, I decide to go to the supermarket and spend what little money we have left on food. I need to get back to work.

I grab a trolley from the entrance and decide to browse the frozen foods first.

When I reach the end of the aisle and have a ¼ of the trolley full, I turn the corner and end up crashing into someone. I look down in embarrassment.

“I am so sorry!”

“It’s fine honey.”

I flick my eyes up and see Jessica.

Fuck.

She just smiles that perfect Donovan smile as if she’s actually happy to see my face.

Does she not know?

She holds out a manicured hand.

“Come. Have coffee with me.”

I take her hand and abandon my task.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

We both settle down on a small round table at the nearest Starbucks, which I’ve never really been a fan of.

Jessica leans over her mocha latte and grasps her hand in mine.

“I know what Jesse did,” she sighs as her plump lips purse.

“Oh, really?” I snap.

Crap. I now feel bad.

I scrub my face with my hands repeatedly. I can see Jessica through the spaces in my fingers and she does not look happy. Whether that’s with me or Jesse, I have no idea.

She begins to frown deeply.

“I’m not happy with him, Hope; I have no idea where you got that from because I am not. He’s made a bad choice and he’s lost the best thing in his life,” she whispers.

I close my eyes and it’s as if my life is flashing before my eyes. I can see every moment with Jesse – every tear, every smile, our first and only kiss, the times he made Leila smile, the night he slept in my bed and I know, I know I’ve made a terrible mistake of letting him go and I’m not sure it’s one I can rectify but I’m sure as hell going to try.

I feel a tear fall down my face and look up at Jessica. She has a knowing look on her face and I can see the corners of her mouth tip up.

“GO!”

I stand up and run out. I’m getting my man back. He better be waiting for me.

********

An hour and two walks around the block later, I decide I’m ready to face Jesse. What will happen if he just turns me away? He probably won’t but it’s still a worrisome thought.

I head up the stairs to his apartment with my face hot and blood rushing through my ears.

I take the last unavoidable steps to his door when I notice the door gaping open. Has it been broken in to?

I push it open quickly with shaking fingers and look around the edge of the door.

My eyes instantly zone in on a hot pink thong. Unless that’s mine (it’s not) or Jesse has started cross dressing, I’d say he has a house guest.

I pray for him to love me back and not impregnate another slut. I’m not one to usually call names but he is mine… or was.

I take a much need deep breath and head in fully with both eyes open.

I am instantly assaulted with Jesse in a tangle with a pink haired woman on the sofa; I can see their tongues duelling from where I’m standing and the red lipstick smeared across his face. They haven’t noticed me yet and I’m unsure whether to sneak out undetected or not.

I take quick steps back, planning for a quick escape when the floor creaks beneath my convers and both of their heads shoot up at once.

Jesse’s glazed blue eyes – almost identical to my converse – meet my tear filled ones and the narrow.

I move my eyes to his… guest and her grey eyes widen and then narrow to match his. I go to say something when he interrupts.

“Get the fuck out,” he growls as he raises his hand and flicks it as if I’m a mere bug. Perhaps I am in his world.

I can’t tell you how much that hurts because it simply cannot be measured.

“Awww, why does she get to stay? We were going to have fuuuun,” the woman whines. Huh? Was he talking about her?

“Because she’s mine and you’re not.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

JesseAlthough my vision is blurry and my words slurred, I can tell that’s Hope in front of

me. She came back for me!

She’s finally figured out where she belongs – with me.

Of course, she comes back at the most unfortunate time ever.

I’ve just picked up a woman from a bar because what’s a better way of forgetting the love of your life than booze and women. It’s not working yet as I wouldn’t be crying myself to sleep every night.

Jeez, I sound like a pussy.

I stand, letting the whore fall to the hard floor in a heap at my feet.

The woman – who I think is called Stacy? – doesn’t like this and ends up slapping me… hard. It’s like a goddamn soap opera in here.

Hope obviously doesn’t find that acceptable so she grabs Stacy’s hair and drags her out the door. She slams it in her face and all you can hear are Stacy’s muffled threats. I always get the crazy ones.

Hope glides towards me with her arms open and I collapse into them. Tears slide down my face as I begin to hiccup.

Dear God, what must she think of me? I pass out.

********

I wake when the midday sunlight hits my face.

My head is in excruciating pain causing me to groan and hide my head under the pillow, which doesn’t soothe it, whatsoever.

I attempt to fall back to sleep but this pounding in my head just won’t stop and it’s driving me to the brink of insanity.

I can hear the love of my life walking down the hallway towards me. Her footsteps are light – almost non-existent – but I can tell when she’s near. My heart always speeds up and my palms begin to sweat. Not ideal for when she wants to hold hands.

She seems to materialize in front of me. Either that or I passed out again.

Hope hands me a glass full of something slimy.

“It’ll help wash the alcohol out of your system,” she mutters.

I have to lean in to hear what she’s saying over the fuzzy pulsating sound in my head.

I gulp it back in one mouthful and it’s like the ambrosia I’ve always needed, I feel instantaneously better. Hope is clearly a genius.

She lays her body next to mine and runs a tiny hand through my saturated hair.

Her tiny hand reminds me of someone else.

“Where’s Leila?” I croak.

The drink did nothing to help the dryness that is my throat.

Hope just smiles peacefully. In the few months I’ve known her, not once has she seemed at peace. Have I banished all of her demons?

“She’s at Hannah’s.”

I think Hannah is the work colleague of hers who served me that one time when I freaked out Hope. I must admit, I annoyed her for a reaction. It worked though and look where it got me. Here. Here and in love with her.

Shit. I forgot. I actually forgot that someone is pregnant with my baby. Has Hope forgotten? No. She can’t have. Not after I broke her that way. Has she forgiven me?

I have so many questions but not enough answers.

“H-have you forgiven me?”

That wasn’t meant to come out.

“Forgiven you? What the bloody hell for?” She frowns.

“The baby.”

Smooth Jesse, very smooth.

“Oh…that,” she closes her eyes, “I forgot. Well, there’s nothing we can do is there?”

I shake my head. If it made her happy, I’d kill a man. Preferably that arsehole William.

He deserves to be castrated for what he did to my angel. I think I should call her that from now on.

Even though I’m supposed to be her salvation, Angel will always be mine. She saved me from being an empty shell of a man. I owe everything to her – especially my heart and soul.

Hope gives me hope too, which means my love for her isn’t hopeless. It’s full of dreams and ‘I do’s’.

Hope snuggling into me lie she’s seeking my warmth drags me out of my thoughts and back to the present.

I kiss her lips tenderly and I’m rather taken aback when she reciprocates. I expected her to close off and tell me to back the fuck off. She’s already done it once.

Our lips become frenzied and passionate. I slide my hand down her arm and smirk when I feel goose bumps.

I bring my other hand up to grasp her bra strap and bring it down her shoulder. When it reaches that point, something gets my attention and drags me out of the lust-filled moment.

“Jesse, no,” she asserts.

I sit up straight, my body coiled tight.

I let the bed sheet pool at my waist as I peer at her.

“Why did you stop the inevitable?”

“We’ve just reconciled, Jesse. I don’t want to force something that I’m not sure on.”

I nod and smile as though I understand but I feel broken in two. Does she feel I’m not right for her?

Screw these insecurities. It’s me who is with her and it’s me who belongs.

I need to stop listening to my head and listen to my heart. I have actually turned into a pansy.

I curl my body around hers and let sleep take me away.

********

I don’t wake until early the next morning when I hear hammering on the front door.

Thankfully, my headache is gone and unfortunately, so is my Angel.

I force myself upwards and hobble towards the door. Who is it at this time?

Opening the door, still squinting, I see Annalise. What does she want?

Her stomach looks huge for only being three months along. Like crazy huge. She looks almost full term but what do I know about pregnant women – nothing.

My eyes widen as I think of something. What if it’s twins? I don’t think I’d survive. I don’t even want this one. Fuck. That was harsh.

I want the baby just not Annalise. It’s like a buy-one-get-one-free deal. You only want one but you’re forced to get another.

“What do you want now?” I moan.

“Don’t you wanna see your baby’s mother?” She pouts.

No, I bloody well don’t.

I project my thoughts.

“No, now piss off.”

Annalise’s eyes widen as she takes in my sour mood. Good! I now hope she’ll get the message.

She doesn’t.

Annalise props her hip against the doorframe – what hips she has – and tries what I think her sexy face is on me. It isn’t working.

“But baby, I know you love me,” she coos.

Is she for real?

“No. I do not. Now get out.”

She comes closer and shoves past me, straight into the living room.

If she weren’t a woman, I would’ve strangled her by now. She’s sitting on the sofa as if she bloody owns the place.

“OUT!” I scream.

It doesn’t work. Annalise doesn’t even flinch.

That’s it.

I’ve had enough.

Grabbing the phone, I call the police.