Dealing With DisappointmentDealing With Disappointment

Introduction - Purpose of this message● Unrealized expectations

▪ Dreams unfulfilled▪ Prayers “unanswered”

● Life’s disappointments▪ Our own ▪ Our family

● Resulting discouragement▪ Dis-courage – the removal of courage▪ Where disappointment steals away

initiative

Introduction - Purpose of this message● Unrealized expectations

▪ Dreams unfulfilled▪ Prayers “unanswered”

● Life’s disappointments▪ Our own ▪ Our family

● Resulting discouragement▪ Dis-courage – the removal of courage▪ Where disappointment steals away

initiative

The reality gap● Difference between the

ideal and the real

The reality gap● Difference between the

ideal and the real

IdealIdeal

RealReal

Deal

● Because we live in a fallen world

● Because we deal with humanity in its frailty

● Life’s not fair

● Because we live in a fallen world

● Because we deal with humanity in its frailty

● Life’s not fair

● In the gap you “deal”● In the gap you “deal”

I. ExpectationsI. Expectations

Misdirected Expectations● Elijah

▪ Running from Jezebel after victory on Mt. Carmel

▪ I’m the only one left ▪ I’ve had enough, take my life

Misdirected Expectations● Elijah

▪ Running from Jezebel after victory on Mt. Carmel

▪ I’m the only one left ▪ I’ve had enough, take my life

● Jonah ▪ I knew you were slow to anger and filled

with unfailing love ▪ I’d rather be dead than if what I predicted

will not happen● Jesus’ disciples

▪ is this when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?

▪ Judas forcing a response

● Jonah ▪ I knew you were slow to anger and filled

with unfailing love ▪ I’d rather be dead than if what I predicted

will not happen● Jesus’ disciples

▪ is this when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?

▪ Judas forcing a response

Comparative Expectations● 2 Corinthians 10:12 Oh, don’t worry; we

wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!

● Failure or success by comparison???● The source of “Life’s not fair” perspective

Comparative Expectations● 2 Corinthians 10:12 Oh, don’t worry; we

wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!

● Failure or success by comparison???● The source of “Life’s not fair” perspective

II. Dealing – a Matter of PerspectiveII. Dealing – a Matter of Perspective

Development of a God’s-eye view● Eternal rather than temporal● Spiritual rather than natural

Development of a God’s-eye view● Eternal rather than temporal● Spiritual rather than natural

Beginning End

1 Corinthians 2:14 - 15 14But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means.  15Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. 

1 Corinthians 2:14 - 15 14But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means.  15Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. 

Dealing with Unrealized Expectations - Hebrews 11:13,35● People died without receiving what God had

promised● but they saw it from a distance● They welcomed it● Placed hope in a better life after the

resurrection● Too good for this world (of whom the world

was not worthy)

Dealing with Unrealized Expectations - Hebrews 11:13,35● People died without receiving what God had

promised● but they saw it from a distance● They welcomed it● Placed hope in a better life after the

resurrection● Too good for this world (of whom the world

was not worthy)

Dealing with Misdirected Expectations● Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but

the LORD determines our steps.● God’s eye view -

Isaiah 46:9 - 10 9 Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. 10 Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Dealing with Misdirected Expectations● Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but

the LORD determines our steps.● God’s eye view -

Isaiah 46:9 - 10 9 Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. 10 Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Opposing extreme ● Doris Day theology - Que Sera, Sera, ● Realism instead of idealism – settle instead of

press for the best

Opposing extreme ● Doris Day theology - Que Sera, Sera, ● Realism instead of idealism – settle instead of

press for the best

Comparative expectations - Dealing with Comparisons ● Psalms 73 – when I saw the wicked prosper

Comparative expectations - Dealing with Comparisons ● Psalms 73 – when I saw the wicked prosper

It ain’t over till it’s over● The “over” may be to “turn it over”

▪ As in turning our circumstances over to the Lord – trust

▪ As in turning our family members over to the Lord – he loves them more than you anyway

It ain’t over till it’s over● The “over” may be to “turn it over”

▪ As in turning our circumstances over to the Lord – trust

▪ As in turning our family members over to the Lord – he loves them more than you anyway

Opportunity Is

NowhereNo-where

Now-here

Opportunity Is

NowhereNo-where

Now-here

Success by comparison or Biblical Success Marked by● Obedience● Faithfulness● Hand to the plow● Yoked with Jesus

Success by comparison or Biblical Success Marked by● Obedience● Faithfulness● Hand to the plow● Yoked with Jesus

1 Corinthians 3:7 - 8 7It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.  8The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work.

1 Corinthians 3:7 - 8 7It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.  8The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work.

Dealing with “Life’s not fair”● Thank God● If life was fair we would all get what we

deserved – eternity in hell

Dealing with “Life’s not fair”● Thank God● If life was fair we would all get what we

deserved – eternity in hell

Psalm 42:5,11 – why am I discouraged, why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my savior and my God

Psalm 42:5,11 – why am I discouraged, why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my savior and my God

Reflection Time Reflection Time

What are my disappointments? Why am I disappointed?

● Unrealized expectations● Misguided expectations● Comparative expectations

What’s your view, God? How am I going to deal?

What are my disappointments? Why am I disappointed?

● Unrealized expectations● Misguided expectations● Comparative expectations

What’s your view, God? How am I going to deal?

V. V.