Dealing With Difficult Co-op Shareholders

7/27/2019 Dealing With Difficult Co-op Shareholders

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mffi. qr} %ryKffi#DIFFICMffiFg ffiffiRSNuisance neighbors driving you nuts?There are practical ways to cope.

By Frank LoveceYmr;i"T[Tv#fi n1?".lsrT#iil1-ff #Difficult shareholders are a fact of life. Sure, you canjust be curt and authoritarian, citing bylaw chapter-and-verse, or pound the gavel and cut them off at a meeting. Butyou still have to live with them.

Threatening fines or legal sanctions is the nuclear option.Being authoritarian is calling in the National Guard. So whateveryday options do you have with pain-in-the-neck people?Frank Lovece, a freelance u:rite\ is a co-op owner. He is thecwtltor o.f tt number of books, irtt'lLrtling The X-Files Declassified.He wrote obout share vah.rc and cooperatives in the April Habitat.20 HABITAT MAY 2006

You can become "Officer Friendly, Here to Help" - becauseremember, Officer Friendly still carries a gun."No matter how people act out their frustrations,whether it's in memo-writing, or knocking on doors llate atnightl, or standing up and being obnoxious in a meeting,you've got to find their underlying interest," says NancyGardner, founding director of the mediator consortium TheAlliance for Mediation & Conflict Resolution. "You've gotto indicate to them that you understand what they'rc tellingyou, and that you take seriously what they have to say.People always want to feel valued and listened to.""Sometimes, there's an attitude of, 'I'm the board, I cando what I want, and you're the horrible little shareholders,"'notes Andrea Bunis, principal in Andrea Bunis Management.


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It may not be easy, because of pride,but showing respect to even the mostdiffrcult or inconsiderate shareholdernips a lot of problems in the bud. Asmanagement consultant Arthur Davisputs it: 'A board needs to set up anopen, communicative, and frank struc-ture that respects people's input.Otherwise you create a breedingground for malcontents."Giving respect doesn't mean that aboard's a pushover, or lacking spine.Just the opposite: it greases the wheel sothat the board can get done what itneeds to get done - with an added ben-efit: if you're listening to diffrcult share-holders rather than tuning them out, youmay very well discover a good idea.Here, based on interviews withboard members, mediators, managingagents, and others, ate practical,ground level ways of dealing with sucharchetypes as...

The long-Winded TolkerWe've all met him. At the annualmeeting, he's the one who thinks he'sat a union hall in 1930, standing on asoapbox. "We had one guy who'dcome to the meeting, make a hugescene, go on and on, and then stormout," remembers Mark Frawley, theformer board president of an UpperWest Side co-op in Manhattan. 'Andyou'd never hear from him again untilnext year's meeting!"What to do about the Long-WindedTalker? Set limits beforehand. "Yougive a limit of a minute, or two min-utes, or whatever the board is comfort-able with," for comments from thefloor, says Davis. "But you have togive a limit."And if someone objects? "You sayyou want to make it fair for other peo-ple who want to talk," notes Davis. "Ifyou don't have a strong board presidentwho's facilitating this and who's run-ning the meeting tightly, you'll spendall night."What if you haven't set a limit, or ifthe Long-Winded Talker ignores it?You can't be passive. "My way of deal-ing," says Warren Schreiber, currentpresident at the 200-family BayTerrace Cooperative, Section l, innortheast Queens, "is to wait for anopening and then say, 'Let me see if Ican sum up what you have said,' or,'Let me make sure that I understandcorrectly.' That way, I let them knowI've heard them and know what they'resaying, while at the same time takingthe floor away from them."


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DEAI-INC \\4TH DIFFICUUISI_tAI{E,HOLDEITS

Of course, the Long-Winded Talkercan buttonhole you in the lobby. HermanGerson, the former board president ofthe 174-unit 500 LaGuardia Place inManhattan, says he's found it effective to"generally let them talk as long as theywant. They get it off their chests, andthey feel a little better after they soundoff. That way it doesn't create a spiritwhere the board is acting like dictatorsand not allowing free speech."

Schreiber agrees - up to a point."When a shareholder with complaintsapproaches me in the street, I recog-nize that most of the time they're talk-ing out of frustration and just need tovent. I'm not going to stand there for ahalf-hour. but I afford them some timeto vent. and then I end the conversationby saying, 'I have to further investigatewhat you've told me and based on thatwe'll take whatever steps are neces-sary. Thank you for coming to me.' It'simportant to let them know you're gladthey brought it to your attention."It's also important to really listen,

and not just pretend to. Someone mightbe railing against redoing the lobby, forinstance, and you tune them outbecause the majority has agreed thatredoing the lobby makes perfect sense.What possible reason could they havefor not wanting that?Now you're asking the right ques-tion. "You want to find out their real,underlying interest," advises Gardner.'Because you just don't know. You canassLulle you know, but you don't neces-sarily know. It may be they'd like tohave a nicer lobby, but they're con-cerned about assessments. Or aboutchanging the character of the building.Or about what [convenient access] theymay have to give up if you're changingthe entrance around or putting it in adifferent place."In this example, you turn the nega-tive around. They're telling you whatthey don't like. So find out what it isabout the current lobby that they dolike. That'11 help you discern whateverspecific, underlying reason they mayhave - and allow you to adjust detailsor find a compromise. "If someone'sconcerned about an assessmentbecause they're in a bad money situa-tion," says Gardner, "you might workout a payment plan, for example."The Door-Knocker

When it's I I o'clock at night andyou're getting ready for bed, knock-knockis not a joke. "Knocking on a board mem-ber's door is unacceptable after 7 or 8o'clock at night," says Davis flatly. "Boardmembers have lives that must be respect-ed. The only time you knock on a doorlate is for an emergency.""There's a serious boundary issuehere," notes Herb Cooper-lrvy, formerexecutive director of the NationalAssociation of Housing Cooperatives."Unlike other boards, you can't go homeelsewhere. It's really criticnl, so that peopledon't bum out rn volunteer leaders, thatthey set linn, bright yellow boundaries."One tactic fbr dealing tactf-ully withsuch people is not to answer the door. "ll'someone asks where I was," says Cooper-[rvy, "l can say, Asleep. Was that youtrying to wake me up?"'Of course, shareholders who comeknocking or phoning, especially late atnight, aur sending a messzge in addition totheir-cornplaint or suggestion. They're say-ing the board hasn't provided a clear', satis-factory policy ofhow shareholclers shouldcommunicate their needs and wants.As with the hng-Windecl ?rlker, thebe.st defbnse is a snong oilbnse. "You need tcr

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even mater that his points were goodand well-written and well-presented,because it f'elt like somebody wasinvading my computer."Memo-Writers feel a need to docu-ment, to leave paper-trail evidence inblrck-and-white. Without getting intothe larger topic of e-mail etiquette (forthat, see "Everybody's Talking."Habitcrt, March 2006), just remernberto think of e-mail as a Miranda warn-ing: anything you say can and will beused against you. And in any czise, it'sbetter and more personal to respond byphone or in person.If you'd rather not, then Pratt's

advice is to "send a very short sentenceback. This tells them they're being lis-tened to, but also to back off. I used tospend a lot of time responding to eachand every point lin an e-maill and itwould take me an hour," as well asopen the board to potential liability.As with the Door-Knocker, the bestway to ar,'oid the Merno-Writer is forthe board to have a reasonable, easy-to-understand communication policy thatapplies equally to everyone. Set limits:e-rnails should be a hundred words.tops. That's enough fbr a quick ques-tion about somethin-t nnclear, or to tellyou there's a dryer broken in the laun-

STTPS TO TAKT TO DTAI.WITH DITTI(UTT OWI'IERS

. At meetings, let them speak - it'sbetter that they get it off their chests.. Set limits beforehand on how longsomeone can talk at a rneeting.. Listen to them - they may have a point.. Set boundaries for after-hourspersonal interaction.. Set up an answering service fbrlate-night callers.. Set limits: e-mails should be a hun-dred words, tops. That's enough for aquick question about something unclezu'.. Co-opt the complainer: put him/heron a committee.. Create a sense of collaboration.

set up some way ttrat complaints cur beacknowledged ar.rd responded to in atimely way," says Ruth Eisenberg, whoserved fbr sevelal years on the board ofa 6l -unit co-op in Morningside Hei-ehts,"so that [sitting on a board] doesn'tbecome a 24-hour occupation."Schreiber's co-op does this withthe simple solution ol having an answer-ing service. "It's our regular number fbrthe building, and automatically switchesover alter-hours. An answering servicetakes the call and forwards it imrr-rediate-ly to the [building staff member] who'son duty that evening. Even if it's three inthe rnoming."The Memo'WrilerThis is a matter of sparn. Your per-sonal e-mail address, which you'vekindly given out to the shareholders sothat they can easily contact the board, isclogged with shareholder mailwhether it's a collection of one-sen-tence messages fi'orn one person or asingle huge message, with a 500-worddiatribe. attachments that may ttnknow-ingly carry a compllter virus, and mem-ory-clogging, high-resolution imagesof a leaky sink fr-om every possibleangle (plus audio and video of the drip)."l'rn looking at a book sourebodye-mailed me the other day." saysBunis, only half in jest. Carol Pratt. aformer board rnernber at the 55-unitco-op on Manhattan's Riverside Drive,remembers "one person [who] wouldllood us with intbrmation to supporthis point of view, as though he had toargue his case and here's all the evi-dence." The memo-writer. she says,"bred this resentment. and it didn't

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DE,ALING WITH DIFFICULTSHAREHOLDERSdry room. Anything more complicatedalmost certainly needs to be broughtup formally at a board meeting or withthe managing agent.And if, as happened once to Pratt,the Memo Writer sends you a person-ally nasty or wildly impolitic e-mail,don't respond. Give it to the board.It's always best to try to talk thingsout first - and in cases like this, withsome backup or protection, even ifthey're only protecting your reputa-tion by being witnesses.

The Robble-RouserHow do you handle those firebrandswho like to create petitions for this orthat, and stir up other shareholders overwhat seem like non-issues?You listen to what The Rabble-Rouser has to say. That doesn't meanindulging his every whim and demand -it just means giving him the respectfulaudience you'd give anyone with a lessstrident style. The Rabble-Rouser mightbe a turn-off personally, but that doesn'tautomatically mean the message iswrong. "One man's difficult shareholderis another man's enlightened, concemedcitizenl'notes Davis.And even if we're not so enlightened

ourselves, trying to stop the Rabble-Rouser is not only undemocratic, it'simpractical. "That gives them ammuni-tion," says Bunis. "They can say,'See?They're trying to stop me.' Allow themto go on with their tirade," she advises."People usually get turned off by them,anyway."If what they're saying is inaccurate, ofcourse, the board must respond immedi-ately with a calm and reasoned commu-nication to all shareholders.But stick to the high road. After all,notes Cooper-Levy, "Everybody hassomething of value, even the Rabble-Rouser. Simply because he's a memberof my community, I need to hear him asclearly as I can."An added benefit is that such anapproach helps you co-opt the complain-er. "One of the ways I address them is toinvolve them in the operations of the co-op," Cooper-Levy adds. "They feel theyhave knowledge to share, or a key per-spective or pertinent information, so finda committee to put him on, or create anad hoc committee. Instead of looking atthem as a problem, look at them as a vol-unteer." Not every Rabble-Rouser wantsto take on such responsibility, "but atleast you've given them the choice."

Gerson offers an additional tip. "Wehave a newsletter that comes out a fewtimes a year, where people can submitarticles with problems and complaints. Itgets [their grievances] out to the public,and it shows you're open.""One time we had a shareholder whowas really, really angryl' says Schreibeq"and he wanted to know how he couldremove the board of directom. Nothing wesaid could placate him." Where didSchreiber find *re solution? On the highroad, naturally. 'The bylaws outline all theprocedures for removing the board, so final-ly I said to him, 'Well, it's your right to pw-sue that, and I respect that right. And if youtry to remove the board completely, pleasecome to me fint - and f ll be the first one tosign your petition."'The Rabble-Rouser never made upthe petition.Ihe Kid/Dog Delender"I'm not touching that one with al0-foot pole!" says one interviewee,reflecting on how touchy shareholders getabout any ciiticism of the behavior oftheir children - actual or metaphorical. Ifyou think only a proud mommy can gether hackles up, try talking to the womanwalking her septic-tank-on-legs GreatDane."There is no good, nice, simple way,

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in general," says Davis, to deal withshareholders who let their kids drop ahalf-eaten ice-cream cone on the hallwayfloor and walk away, or who let theirdogsdo their business in the lobby. "Some peo-ple," he notes, "feel their dogs and kids putthem in a special category where rules don'tapplyJ'

Gardner suggests that a board "try toreach out to fhat penon and ask if you candiscuss with them some issues that youhave. Then you sit down privately and dis-cuss what's been reported, why it's a prob-lem, and is there anything you can do tohelp them with the problem? That wayyou'rc not just saying, 'Don't do that.'You're creating sense of cooperation andcollaboration."

If they still don't see the problem?"You let them know there ls a problem andyou'd like to discuss with them possiblesolutions. You have to put your foot downsometimes. You tell them, 'I'd like to notfight with you; I'd like to collaborate."Additionally, says Bunis, "You sendout a reminder that this is everybody'shome and pet-owners need to clean upafter their pets. Even if you know who'sdoing it, send out a general notice so thatyou're not pinpointing and embarrassinganybody."If that doesn't work, make it a matterof dollars and scents. "If you've gotsomeone disfurbing the common area,whether in the lobby or outside, that's acost," Davis says, "because to clean it is acost. 'If you don't mind dog [feces], we'llreplace the carpet every week. Does any-one have a problem with the building bear-ing that cost?' There has to be a policy, andit has to be consistent and fairly enforced."That last suggestion holds true, nomatter which difficult shareholder you'redealing with. Remember that people canget difficult when they feel they're notbeing treated equally, or feel they're notbeing listened to."People must know that if they havean issue, it will be dealt with openly, fair-ly, and promptly," says Davis. "And allthree of those are critical. There arealways going to be people who feel theirinterests are not being served. But as longas you have a strong, fortkight board thattreats people equally according to a clear-ly communicated policy, you will havefewer of them and they'll be easier tomanage."

And, above all, says Ray Potteq a for-mer board president and now secretary ofthe Stewart Heights development inMount Kisco, N.Y., "Keep a sense ofhumor. If we're laughing, then we're notHashing out."

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Dealing With Difficult Co-op Shareholders