DEALING WITH AN ANGRY/IRATE PARENT

Lack of communicationMaking changes w/o notifying themNot returning phone callsThey feel labeled because of marital status, sex, color, appearance, etc.Teacher acts defensiveBroken promisesDo not understand educational jargonWhite liesUnwillingness of teacher to admit mistakes and apologizeThey feel like they have no controlLack of respect for themUnprofessional educatorsThey are asked for advice and they advice is not used.

Why Parents are Angry

Know each parent’s nameAcknowledge parents by Mr. or Mrs. So and soMake eye contact when saying hello.Shake hands with parent.Smile at the parent.Try to appear unhurried.Say something positive about the child.Smile at their child, if present.

Ways to transform tough parents into effective committed parents

“There cannot be real communication without trust.”

Use proper grammar.Talk about things of interest to est. a relationshipThank parents for things they do.Greet parents positively.End all conversations on a genuine positive note. “Have a nice evening”Act instead of react.Be compassionate.Go the extra mile.Carry yourself with dignity.Be calm.Be tactful.Have a caring attitude.Do not let parent feel judged.Recognize and overcome any bias or prejudice.

Your Image in transforming parents

“First impressions count.”

Be trustworthy.Apologize when you are wrong.Do not make promises you cannot keep.Be punctual.Attack the problem, not the person.Do more than you promised to do.Never talk about people behind their backs.Have integrity.Sit eye to eye and knee to knee.Shake hands.Welcome parents into your room.Listen - Active.Open your mind to their opinion.Hear their opinion and concern.

What you should do

“Be a friend and you will make a friend.”

Do not discuss other teachers’ classroom treatment of students.Do not compare the student with siblings.Do not argue with the parent.Do not attempt to psychoanalyze the student.Do not blame the parent for the student’s misbehavior.Do not be negative.Do not judge the family.

Traps to avoid

Lecturing.Speaking in generalities.Using professional jargon.Overwhelming parents with multiple concerns.Trying to be the all knowing authority.

AVOID!!!

“Behind every problem is an opportunity if you will just look for it.”

1. Establish a relationship!1. Tell them something personal and

positive about their child.2. You care!3. You have a relationship with their child.

2. Establish yourself as an advocate.3. Ask for parent input. (if you are going to

1. “How do you think we should handle this?”

2. “Do you have any ideas?”3. “What works for you at home?”

4. Be honest about working as a team.

Ways to Win Parents Over

“Together we can do it.”

Make them feel you are on their side.Use mental pictures.Be likable.Establish rapport.Let the parents talk about their interests and hobbies that you may have heard the student mention.Help put the parent at ease.Find out the student’s special talents, interests, or accomplishments.Ask them to tell you their child’s best attributes.Ask them if there is anything the child does that they have a more difficult time in dealing with.Show them that you care. Tell them that you want to work together to help the student.Ask for help.Be candid but always non-blaming.Leave all negative emotions out of this conference.

How to give negative feedback with positive results

Understand parents – Be Empathetic, not sympathetic.

Wiring…Past experiences

Let them start, Listen, Take notes, Ask permission to respond –

Never use negative transitions…But; However – substitute and

The Angry parent - tips

“Difficult people are difficult with others too. It is their method of operation therefore, do not take it personally.”

End the conversation – respectfullyPhonePerson – Post it noteLeave the roomCall the office

Always remain respectfultone of voicelevel of voicecalmAlways seek help when explosiveDo not schedule additional meetings by self.

The explosive parent - tips

Always, be careful, alert, clam, and prepared!

“Anger begets anger.”“Caring begets caring.”

It takes two people in order for there to be an argument!