D&D d20 - Encyclopedia Arcane - Nymphology (Adult Content)

Onestrum FiddlerThis is the most famous, or rather notorious, sex magician in the realms. Onestrum fell intomagic due to his academic prowess and lack of physical strength. Where the clergy wouldnormally step in to take care of a youngster, Onestrum found himself appalled at the stark andcloistered nature of his local temples and turned instead to the equally cloistered but moreappealing world of magic.

Onestrum had problems here as well, unable to settle on any single order of magic and,constantly distracted by the pretty women of the big city, he began to turn his thoughts to theapplication of magic to more exciting and personally rewarding ends. Onestrum is not the mostactive or proficient blue mage in the realms but he is the most strident and loud, demanding thatthe field to which he has devoted his time is seen in the same light and has the same importanceas hurling fireballs, which he regards as rather childish and unrewarding.

He eschews the normal shapeless wizards robes and dresses in much the same manner asrogues, favouring the latest styles and fashions, even though they do not particularly fit his rakelike figure. Onestrum issues a sort of nervous energy on a wavelength palpably detectable towomen. He always smells slightly of sweaty leather and gives the impression he really needs tobe somewhere else.

‘Sex needs to be taken seriously and we as wizards are tired of always being thought of as thescrawny weakling or the person who blows things up. We’re people too with needs and desireslike any other person and one of those needs is to bump uglies with as many people as possiblefor enjoyment, and sometimes just because we don’t have anything better to do on a Fridaynight. This area merits serious study and since the colleges of magic refuse to spend any time onit I present my knowledge for posterity. May it bring you pleasure, enjoyment and bedsprings soworn you sleep in the room below.’

– Onestrum’s introduction to the original Encyclopaedia Arcane

EncyclopaediaArcane

NymphologyJames Desborough

Open Game Content & Copyright InformationEncyclopaedia Arcane - Nymphology is ©2002 Mongoose Publishing. All rights reserved. Reproduction of non-Open Game Content

of this work by any means without the written permission of the publisher is expressly forbidden. Encyclopaedia Arcane -Nymphology is presented under the Open Game and D20 Licences. See page 52 for the text of these licences. All text paragraphs

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Contents

4 Introduction

6 Erotica Arcane – An Overview

14 New Erotic Magic Spells

26 The Plane of Lust

30 Perversions of Power

40 Skills & Feats

42 Objects of Desire

47 Creatures of Lust

52 OGL/D20 Licences

Credits

EditorDaniel Bishop

Interior IllustrationsRenato Guedes, Reynaldo Batista

Production ManagerAlexander Fennell

4

Introduction

Magic is applied to every field of humanendeavour. War, commerce, building abetter mousetrap, fixing the drains,

preserving bread – all of these sparkling facets of therough diamond that is human experience interactwith the magical in some way. Maybe fey gold(known as credit cards in our world) with which tobuy things or an acid arrow to clear a particularlypersistent clog of hair from the plughole. Yet oneaspect of human activity is shied away from in theformal colleges of magic, though it forms animportant aspect of the thaumaturgical field.

In the yards, lavatories and dormitories of thevarious colleges of magic young students swap talesand cobbled together spells developed over theyears. Some famous names in the field of magichave a history that is only told in notes passed inclass and some of their early work is... enlighteningto say the least, shedding light on their particularobsessions. Some drop out entirely to pursue thisaspect of magic with complete devotion and clarityof purpose.

Cloistered away as they are in their universities andtowers, magic users come up with some very peculiarideas about sex, despite the presence of both gendersin the colleges. Sorcerers are perhaps a little moreworldly wise given that they are not shut away for alarge part of their lives learning by rote, but theirtendency towards arrogance also keeps them at adistance, and so much of their study is also based onconjecture and ‘playground rumour’.

The fact is the erotic arts are one of the mostbeguiling and least discussed aspects of the magicalprofession. Just as with all other aspects of magicthere are dangers rewards both. There is noimmortality here, just the base pleasures of the flesh.The appeal of the erotic is a large attraction of theprofession, and many a young apprentice holdsclose the dream of bringing a properly boundsuccubus to his bed.

Others just fiddle themselves into an early gravehunched over their crystal balls while the girls at‘the school for comely young elf maidens’unknowingly dance, wiggle and splash for theirpleasure.

EncyclopaediaArcane

This is the first book on the role of erotic and sexmagic within the fantasy setting. It is part of theEncyclopaedia Arcane series by mongoosepublishing. Designed to be inserted seamlessly intoany fantasy-based D20 games system, thesesourcebooks enhance and expand all arcanespellcasting classes, adding a whole new dimensionto campaigns.

Each book of the Encyclopaedia Arcane series is notjust intended for Games Masters to use inconjunction with their non-player charactershowever. Players themselves will find full details onhow to use the magic systems with new or existingcharacters, greatly increasing the wealth of optionsthey are presented with in the core rulebooks.

If it needs pointing out, this is humorous in contentand intent. While the spells, rules and prestigeclasses presented herein should all be useable inyour campaigns, everything is presented primarilyfor laughs. ‘Many a true word spoken in jest.’

Nymphology –Magical moments

The purpose of this book is to explore, with a focuson humour, the role of magic within sex and of sexwithin magic. Players and Games Masters will findnew spells tackling this area and new prestigeclasses with which to expand their characters orpopulate the sleazier parts of their fantasy cities. Inthis book you will find treatise on subjects such asthe power of love and lust, the spells of the eroticschool and the mysterious plane of lust.

Blue magic is a secret art but not in the same vein asnecromancy or demonology. It is shunned by thegreat magi, whatever their involvement in youth. Itis because of this that it is very much rough andready, unpolished and in most cases only developedby unscrupulous amateurs. Like many aspects ofmagic it is obsessive, though it can be argued thatobsessing on sex and the pursuit of it is a lothealthier than hanging around graveyards diggingup company.

INTRODUCTION

5

It hadn’t been easy making it over the wall of the college and out into the town but the scraped knees, undignified falls and multipleasthma attacks had been worth it once they had got to the tavern. Jhonen’s father’s money had bought a hearty meal and heartierale the likes of which the college kitchen’s thin-lipped cook disapproved of. The music played, the drink went down smoothly, thepipes came out and sweet smelling smoke filled the air as the collected students relaxed and congratulated themselves on a goodnight out. Two physical needs sated and with ale loosening their tongues the conversation took a natural turn towards sex.

‘Isn’t she gorgeous?’ sighed Siorfan while doodling on the table in spilled beer, his eyes fixed on a tavern wench who had seenbetter days. None-the-less, a year inside the same classes and libraries, and the wondrous effect of ale, combined within him toturn her into a vision of loveliness and an object of no small desire.

‘A little study and you could have her with a simple enough spell’ remarked Yacob. Yacob was studying enchantment and hispresence tended to make the other students nervous. It was like he was already boring into your mind without the use of magic.

‘How can you even think of such a thing!’ Ellissa broke into the conversation. The others hadn’t thought to temper their conversationaround her. As a defensive abjurer and fellow mage they regarded her as being about as sexually aware or significant as adoorpost, regardless of what she felt about it.

‘I’d do anything to have someone like her’ Siorfan sighed again, watching her dispensing ale with years of skill. ‘But the lady folkaren’t impressed with intellect or magical skill.’

‘I might be’ mused Ellissa half to herself.

‘All they want is those big muscled barbarians, prancing about the place with their shiny oiled skin and their fur posing pouches’continued Siorfan, clearly having not heard her.

‘They’re not worth your while these common wenches’ said Jhonen before taking a long pull on his pipe. His eyes shone throughthe smoke gathered about his saturnine beard as he put the conjurer’s point of view forward. ‘Why bother with the fulsome butflawed fare of this world when you can taste the forbidden fruit of the other?’

‘You mean demons’ muttered Ellissa.

Jhonen leant back in his chair smiling.

‘Succubi to be precise’ he shared a predatory grin with Siorfan ‘I could set you up, I know a man on Beazly Street who makes thescrolls. Once you’ve tasted ‘red’ meat you never go back.’

Ellissa gagged in disgust but a few of the others chuckled to themselves and grinned at each other, thinking of the possibilities.

‘I’ve always found the real and physical to be a bit of a disappointment’ Gior was a gnome and an illusionist. To illustrate hispoint, he muttered an incantation and held out his hands, perched on which appeared to be a sprite sprawling back on his palmdoing obscene things to herself.

Myram the diviner kept quiet through the whole conversation, trying to hide his little crystal ball and casting embarrassed sidelongglances at Ellissa.

Another round of ale arrived, eliciting more sighing from Siorfan and some more moaning. ‘Even if I did enslave her will withmagic and bed her, how could I ever compare with those barbarian brutes? I’m no love machine.’

Quiet until now Sestyne the elven transmuter spoke up, half to herself. ‘You could always make yourself a little better with a spell,there’s a ton of them in the library.’

The others regarded her incredulously until she blushed and looked down. ‘No really, in amongst the old student notebooks. Idon’t understand half of it but there’s a lot of magic spells there for this sort of thing.’

Siorfan blinked absorbing the information ‘Why haven’t we heard about this before? We’re taught about how to raise deadbodies, why not something a little more wholesome, not to mention useful.’

‘For some reason the tutors don’t think it’s appropriate,’ Jhonen said. ‘If you want to learn about it you have to find others outsidethe college willing to teach you, like my friend with the scrolls. Students come up with the odd spell themselves and pass them on.’

‘A whole neglected area of magic,’ said Siorfan, his attention drifting from the wench and to the possibilities for his own fame,fortune and power. ‘You could really make a name for yourself in that field. Think of the possibilities...’

INTRODUCTION

6

EroticaArcane – AnOverview

Nymphology, or ‘blue magic’ is a hidden andill-regarded form of the arcane. It is also avery demanding field of magic, drawing as

it does on so many areas of conventional sorcery.This is no small part due to the furtive and secretivenature of its development, thrashed out (so to speak)in huddled groups and midnight experiments bystudents of magic who have not yet learned to bearrogant about their own field and derisive of others.As such, those who choose to devote their full studyto the erotic arts tend to be open-minded towardsmost other fields of magic, scavenging and piecingtogether anything that aids their own understandingand the furtherance of their powers.

Abjuration is little used by the blue mage save in afew minor cantrips used to protect oneself from thesocial diseases of the fantasy world. Unlike divine

magic these spells do not heal, instead forming apreventative barrier protecting the mage from beinginfected or harmed in the first place. Some magicusers add their own tweaks to these spells,improving them slightly in their own ways toenhance their performance. That is about as usefulas abjuration gets.

The art of conjuration is dipped into by magesseeking to taste the fruits of other realms and worlds.Summonings stock the rooms of mystical bordellosand provide ‘easily’ available bed partners for lonelymagicians with magical reagents to spare.Summoners can make a tremendous amount ofmoney pimping their stable of supernatural loveliesto jaded merchants, rich nobles and adventurous bonvivants but the demands of these individuals canrapidly outstrip the mage’s ability to provide.

A lot of people have something of the voyeur inthem. Watching others while they are unaware ofyour presence can be very appealing, peeking in onpeople is a time-honoured tradition and it is nosurprise that, with their access to crystal balls andperceptive powers, magic users of an erotic ilk makegood use of divination. At some point anenterprising merchant is going to make a fortune onnon-fogging wipe-clean crystal balls.

Dominating the will of others would seem to be agood route to getting into whatever pants happen totake your fancy. Those who stoop to enchantmenttend to be regarded fairly badly by other blue magesand, unless it happens to fit their particular kink,most people find the ministrations of an enchanted‘zombie’ mechanical and unfulfilling. Even thoseinto domination find enchantment less thansatisfying since no will has been broken, justbypassed.

Blue mages tend to regard those who concentrate onevocation in much the same way as virile but pooryoung men regard weasel-like old men with vastestates. Blowing things up is seen very much as apenis substitute and the domain of the inadequate.

The realm of illusion and glamour can providewhere the real world, the spirits and the planescannot. What the multiverse does not provide, theconscious mind can. Illusionists can literallyprovide anything a client can imagine with everysense catered for. If you see an illusionist in a

EROTICA ARCANE – AN OVERVIEW

7

tavern, smiling and adjusting his belt, he may nothave just finished a satisfying meal.

Only the most twisted of blue mages will ever delveinto the necromantic arts in search of pleasure,whatever the black clad practitioners of the dark arthave to say about the wonders of forbiddenpleasures.

Transmutation on the other hand provides manyopportunities for the blue mage. With transmutationmagic he is able to enhance his physique, prowess,confidence and the ‘tools of the trade,’ or just let offa few slick effects like changing his partners dressinto rose petals (and back if he ever wants to see heragain).

All of these schools manipulate both positive andnegative energies. Blue magic views love and lustin much the same way as these other schools viewtheir own nebulous and undefined energy. Love andlust are powerful forces - true love is immortal,whereas lust can overcome even the most level-headed and secure of people, causing them to castaside their reserve and thoughts of family or positionto indulge in one moment of pure pleasure. Menand women will put themselves through great risk,terrible trials and worse discomfort all for a glimpseof nipple or quick grope. They will spend money,move mountains and launch wars all for as little as akiss.

Blue mages see love and lust as the primarymotivating force behind all humanoid endeavours,and as such tap into that vast pool of energy,manipulating and channelling it to form their spellsand effects. Ultimately it all boils down to one thing– mating.

Scholars of erotic magic look at this powerful forceand see it reflected in the cycles of nature and theveneration shown to gods and goddesses of fertility(and they spend a long time looking at the statues).They look at the power of nature wielded by thedruids, a natural and creative force and they see thepossibilities of tapping into this force with their ownspells and incantations, wild and primitivecompared to most arcane magic. Where clerics anddruids allow the power to flow through them, shapedby their deity arcane magi grasp hold of the powerthemselves, shaping it and making it flow to theirown whims and desires, guiding it into a variety ofpleasing and titillating forms.

Even the greatest of magic users cannot alwayscontrol the forces they try to wield and the power oflove, lust and creation is wilful, often seeking toflow in its own directions, slippery and as hard tograsp as a nymph covered in baby oil. Blue magiccannot interfere with true love and can go awry,hitting people other than the intended target if theforce of creation and lust feels that others should beaffected. Where an attraction, howeversubconscious, already exists the magic will flowmore easily and be more binding.

SlipperSlipperSlipperSlipperSlippery Love Channely Love Channely Love Channely Love Channely Love ChannelIn cases where there is existing attraction or lovebetween two people, or such loathing and disgustthat the mere idea of touching one another wouldcause hives and profuse vomiting, erotic magic iseither more or less effective, respectively. It isrecommended that the Games Master consider up toa +5 circumstance bonus to the spell’s DC in theformer instance, or the character’s Will save in thelatter.

The Misuse of EroticMagic

All magic carries with it the possibility of hubris -the risk that one will consider themself soomnipotent, so invulnerable, so untouchable thatthey completely fail to account for the true riskfactor of the halfling with a sock full of marblessneaking up behind them with murder in mind. Bluemagic is no different and carries with it its own seriesof problems and risks. Some of these are notparticularly thought to be problems by those who‘suffer’ them but they are social death.

TTTTTemptationemptationemptationemptationemptationMany things draw the blue mage’s eye. With thepower to get whomever for whatever you wantcomes the desire to do so. With the power at yourfingertips the feeling that it should be used growsstronger each day. With mastery of the power comesthe need to search for new uses, new limits, newways to indulge that pleasure and new horizons toseek. Before long, temptation can carry the bluemage away and they’ll find themselves bent over aducking stool in a studded leather wizard’s hat witha succubus spanking them, while the guard beatdown the door to charge them with obscene actswith a basilisk. Blue mages often find themselves


8

drawn hither and yon, the force of lust wielding theirwill as much as their will wields the force of lust.

Anyone who owns a penis will know the feeling.

Self IndulgenceSelf IndulgenceSelf IndulgenceSelf IndulgenceSelf IndulgenceMany use magic to help others. The temptation formasters of erotic magic is to indulge their own vicesand whims to the exclusion of all others.Withdrawing into themselves and entirely eaten upby their own passions they step back from society,becoming unable to interact with it and soon blurthe lines between the fantasy they create within theirtowers and laboratories and the real world. Viewingeverything as nothing more than another potentialsource of pleasure of voyeurism and getting blisterson their private parts, those who succumb to thisway of life are pitied by other blue magi.

The Cost in PeopleThe Cost in PeopleThe Cost in PeopleThe Cost in PeopleThe Cost in PeopleThere is a very definite human cost to the pursuit ofblue magic, one of broken hearts and ruptured parts.Any indulgence carried to the extreme is dangerous,from excessive consumption to staying in the bathtoo long.

The sheer fact of the matter is that sex is addictiveand like many addictions it can lead to hollow eyes,lack of sleep, sallow skin and lesions on the body

(just do not golooking for trackmarks, you will bearrested).

Like a lot ofaddicts, sexaddicts do notmuch care wherethey get their hit orthat overindulgingmay be bad forthem. Both theblue mages andthose they use totwist and warp fortheir pleasure endup spent, in moreways than one.

Getting LostGetting LostGetting LostGetting LostGetting Lostin the Momentin the Momentin the Momentin the Momentin the Moment

One very great risk of this form of magic is gettingcaught up in the passion of the moment. Not just themoments where we all make silly faces and saypeculiar things or when atheists call out to the gods– but in every moment.

The channelling of the heady forces of lust tends tomake blue magi impulsive, short-sighted andunpredictable. Consequences of actions or magicpast the immediate are not even considered; short-term reward is all they need. Being drunk on thepower of blue magic is much like being drunk onlager, except you never sober up and are more likelyto wake up with someone else’s familiar than a trafficcone.

The Use of EroticMagic

Despite the dangers and abuses of the art, there areno end of positive uses and rewards that derive froma mastery of this field of magic. Blue mages tend tobe more down to earth and ‘streetwise’ than moreconventional mages and they are ‘everyone’s friend’.Blue mages are well connected and while they mayor may not be liked, people will always act asthough they are. They can help people a great dealand can earn trust, friendship and big, fat sacks ofcash by doing so.


9

hauling off into the dungeons of the world withadventurers but it is a lot easier and more pleasant tocome by. If you can get money out of a dungeon,more power to you, but a hole is a hole and the onewithout the dragon is probably a safer bet.

The Dangers of Self AbuseThe Dangers of Self AbuseThe Dangers of Self AbuseThe Dangers of Self AbuseThe Dangers of Self AbuseThe power of lust is a nigh unstoppable force withlittle that can effectively oppose it. Feudingfamilies, common decency and trouser seams all falllike dominoes before the power of lust. Much likethe dark power of negative energy that can warp andtwist necromancers into beings of hideous evil, thepower of lust can warp and twist its users inunforeseen ways.

As with much of magic, the one who studies anduses it can become closed off from the world. Thedifference being that blue magi are not closed offstudying, but rather using their magic on themselvesfor fun and profit and losing themselves in thevarious hot and sticky pleasures to be found in thepages of their spell books. Pallid and trembling ofhand, their brief and rare forays into the outsideworld for food can spark a panic that aboleth slimehas made its way into the town water supply.

Towers are a peculiarity of most wizards. Accordingto many female, earthy, druidic persons of anunshaven armpits persuasion they are…

‘Towering symbols of the lascivious thaumaturgicaldominance of the wizardly profession expressed inarchitectural form to compensate for theirinadequacy and to express their believed supremacyover female oriented earth magic.’

Quite what any of that means most people are notsure but wizards who have seen the patches of mudthese people call holy tend to attribute it to ‘towerenvy’ and add an extra storey.

Blue magi seem especially attracted to the idea oftowers, spending a great deal of money to have themost splendid and extravagant one they can afford.This is in part good advertising, as their tower loomsover the surrounding slums in which they usuallymake their homes. Decked out in pink marble andcrowned with dazzling amethyst, the towers are asight to see and something to be sniggered at.

You can tell much from looking at a mage. Thecolour of his robes, the look in his eyes, his stance

Helping PeopleHelping PeopleHelping PeopleHelping PeopleHelping PeopleMany people have problems they do not feelcomfortable talking about that require drasticremedies. Traditionally the village wise woman hasdispensed this sort of thing but they tend toconcentrate their help on the womenfolk, men neverreally having been comfortable with confessing theirneeds or problems to persons of the femalepersuasion. You just know it is going to end up asgossip.

Where the wise women have poultices, potions andpseudo-psychological advice, the blue magi have anincantation or an artefact more than able to deal withthe problem without all the hideous cackling. Tomost men, asking hideous old women for sex adviceis like asking the tarrasque for a breath mint. Oldpeople exist in a space outside attraction and sex,even if they were ‘a bit of a fox’ back in their day.

Because of this many men, lots of themcoincidentally rich and powerful, prefer to seek outthe practitioners of blue magic, however discredited,sleazy or rare they are and however many suspiciouscrusty stains adorn their robes.

Helping YHelping YHelping YHelping YHelping YourselfourselfourselfourselfourselfStereotypes exist for a reason. Humanity, whenviewed as a large group does fit certain patterns.However, this does not mean that people within thatgroup cannot be individuals, it just means that thereis a recognisable thread running through all of them.Wizards and sorcerers, mages of almost anydescription have a stereotype, that of the inadequate,antisocial and unloved hermit. Magic users nevergot chosen first in team games, never got invited tothe dances and this has given many of them anenormous chip on their shoulder and a problem withthe opposite sex.

Erotic magic helps the mage overcome thisstereotype. With their studies they can not onlyovercome their inhibitions and physicaldeficiencies, but also become superlative lovers andif gain a reputation, they may even be sought out bythe opposite (or maybe same) sex for theirthaumaturgically enhanced attentions.

Besides the psychological benefits ‘getting some’brings (along with the physical relief) there is also alot of potential remuneration associated with thepowers of the blue mage either as prostitute or pimp,confessor or pusher. It may not equal the riches of


10

and the style of his accoutrements all give you cluesas to his speciality when it comes to magic. Anevoker might be dressed brightly and brashly in redand gold, their hair and beard wild and unkempt,their hands covered in showy jewellery. Anecromancer can be recognised by their blackclothing, their pallor and the stench of theirreagents.

Blue magi can develop one of two ways. They canbecome proud, standing tall and enjoying life to thefullest, getting fat and clumsy with indulgence butalways good humoured, charming and smiling, thekind of person you like but envy. The otherbecomes hunched over, uncomprehending of people,seeing everything in the context of sex, to be spiedon or exploited.

A great many blue magi become introverts, turningaway from the cruel world that does not understandtheir genius, will not sleep with them and chants‘small penis’ openly at them from bars. These magiretreat within their towers to a sexual opulence theirdetractors and nay sayers will never experience.There, locked away from the world they are morethan content with their succubus and elementallovers, their nymphs and dryads. They do not need,nor want anything else, not so much as a bath,eyesight or smooth palms.

Novel Uses forExisting Magic

There are a great many creative uses that existingspells can be put to, many of them never envisioned(as far as we know) by their original creators. Thereis some discussion, usually after a few drinks, onwhether some spells originated in sexual use andwere then tidied up and polished for theexamination of the magic school’s tutors.

Here then are the most commonly misused spells.

ConjurationConjurationConjurationConjurationConjurationThe creation of things and the summoning ofcreatures have much to offer the serious blue mage.Otherworldly beauties can be brought into theirpresence and bound to lascivious duties of all sorts.This may seem like a frivolous waste of magic andexpensive reagents but the successful conjurer isamongst the most affluent of blue magi. Wealthysponsors will pay handsomely for access to theparticular pleasures a blue mage conjurer can bring

into their presence, and that wealth can then pay fortheir own particular habits.

So it is that summoning and binding are the mostvisible uses of conjuration amongst blue magi andadvanced (and horny) students of magic. Someenjoy the challenge of breaking an aasimar on thewheel of corruption, while others enjoy thelascivious nature and whole-heartedness of thetiefling. Djinn and their ilk give wish-fulfilment inmore ways than one and nothing talks dirty like amephit. Succubi and erinyes are obvious choicesand known to even the simplest peasant thanks tothe efforts of priests and clerics putting thoughtsinto their heads from every pulpit. The ‘bi-curious’part of society finds the dual nature of the incubus/succubus a good way out of leaving closets.Marilith demons are a less obvious choice but theadvanced blue mage considers it worth the risk forall those extra arms and the forked tongue. Kyton’sand their animated chains can have a certain appealto those with elaborate and uninhabited dungeonsand a penchant for black leather. Some attest thatLillend provide one of the best experiences, but alsostate that their capacity for revenge exceeds eventhat of a ‘woman scorned’ and caution the mage whoseeks that particular delight to be ready foranything. Those who have discovered the existenceof the plane of lust concentrate their efforts onsummoning from there and heartily recommend whatthey find, once you can stop them grinning.

Conjuration does not merely summon creatures;there are other spells within this field of magic ripefor abuse and misuse. Before he wrote his own spellsthe infamous blue mage Baykdoyre used to indulgehis passion for halflings with the aid of the greasespell.

Many magi find themselves constantly busy, with notime to seek relief for their sexual tensions and bothhands occupied for days at a time. This has led someenterprising souls to horribly misuse the intendedpurpose of unseen servant. A wizard sat at theirtable constructing potions and devices with a manicsmile on their face may not in fact be mad, but ratherenjoying the tender ministrations of their ownshapeless force. Those challenged on this just claimthat ‘it is no different to having a quick one off thewrist just because it uses magical power rather thanhand power’.

The last most commonly seen misuse ofconventional magic is the web, the sticky strands


11

being suggestive in their ownspecial, way. Dark elves inparticular seem to get a specialthrill from being bound (orbinding others) in the spider-like web.

DivinationDivinationDivinationDivinationDivinationThe sexual uses of the arts ofdivination are plainly obviousto even the most casual ofthinkers. Arcane eye,clairaudience/clairvoyance,prying eyes and scry are themost obvious, and the benefitsto be gained by spying onpeople unseen are self-evident.Prying eyes seems to be the mostnotorious one used by peepingtoms as they can zoom off bythemselves and gather a lot of information in one gowith little effort on the behalf of the perverted mage.

Detect thoughts is not as useful as many of theuninitiated might otherwise believe it to be. It onlydetects surface thoughts and so it will not reveal allthe guilty little intimate secrets that your targetsmight be hiding, nor will you unearth their deeplyhidden fantasies and kinks. About all it is good foris walking into an inn or bar and gauging the initialreaction of people to your presence. While that mayindeed unearth that the well-endowed barmaid islooking at you and thinking ‘Phwoar!’ It may alsounearth that many other people in the room arelooking at you and gagging or planning to stealyour wallet. Even worse, it may reveal that thehideously scarred dwarf in the corner is looking atyou and thinking ‘Phwoar!’

EnchantmentEnchantmentEnchantmentEnchantmentEnchantmentAllowing for the complete mental domination ofanother person or creature, enchantment has manypossibilities for the unscrupulous or domineeringblue mage to indulge themselves with anyone andanything they might care to.

Many of the enchantment spells are based aroundthe simple premise of issuing a command or demandto the subject of the spell and mentally dominatingthem into carrying out that function. This, whateverthe power of the particular spell, is the basis for themost common sexual uses of enchantment though

the mage had best be ready to hot-foot it the momentthe spell ends as the targets tend to get rather upset.

There are other, less obvious, risks to the use ofenchantment magic. Take the case of poor ‘Stubby’Broccoli, blue mage of the fourth circle and formerlyknown as ‘Long John’ Broccoli, who was about toissue a magical command to a rather attractivewidow when they were interrupted.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ asked theinterloper.

‘Bite Me.’ replied Broccoli.

Blue magi can be particularly vindictive when itcomes to the use of the geas/quest spell, as thecommands they lay down with these spells tend tobe extremely demeaning. When all his conventionalattempts to woo lady Velocipede, known for hermeek chastity and refusal of advances, failedmiserably, the master mage Bertram Rounde laid ageas on her to lay with every man in the town.

Some of the more unpleasant or domineering bluemagi like to make use of the hold person spell, asthe subject remains aware of their surroundings butis unable to do anything about it. The village ofthrack was terrorised by a blue mage who pretendedto be a terrible monster, casting hold person on poordefenceless villagers and then tickling themmercilessly to get his jollies.


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The last significantly known misuse of enchantmentspells is not limited to blue magi. Drunkenenchanters often think of this and more than one hasactually done it. Irresistible dance, with a few veryminor alterations, can be transformed into acompulsive and undeniable urge to perform astriptease.

EvocationEvocationEvocationEvocationEvocationEvocation does not particularly lend itself well tothe pursuit of erotic ends, being more concernedwith substituting for this area of human endeavourwith the ability to blow things up. Consequently,the spells that can be used in a sexy manner tend tobe rather childish.

Gust of wind can be used to blow skirts upwardsgiving the panty or stocking fetishist a ripe eyeful,while sending can be used to transmit perverse andstalker type messages directly to the poor victim’smind, leaving them no way to escape them.

Most evokers would not know what to do with amember of the opposite sex if they got them aloneanyway. They would probably just set them on fireor show them their ‘wands & mana’ catalogue.

IllusionIllusionIllusionIllusionIllusionThe powers of illusion have so many applicationsand uses in the pursuit of blue magic mastery thatmost blue magi have at least a few illusion spellswritten carefully into their spell books.

Varying degrees of standard illusions can createsights, sounds, smell, tastes and touches that fulfilwhatever the illusionist or their client desires. Theimagination literally is the limit. Illusionists cancreate tableaux and images of all kinds. Shows thatno living person would participate in becomepossible through the illusionist’s talents and withonly one person to pay.

Provided a client is willing to accept illusion overthe real thing an illusionist can provide all themysteries and wonders that conjurors can, and more.As such illusionists tend to operate at the slightlycheaper end of the scale – poorer people do not careabout authenticity – the rich shell out for thereagents needed to summon a real succubus.

Subtler uses of illusion, such as change self, can aidin the seduction process and many blue magi usethis spell to make themselves broader of shoulder or

larger of breast. Like any physical enhancement, ifthings progress far enough or the magic wears offthere can be problems. Once the ‘tissue comes out ofthe bra’ or ‘the socks come out of the pants’ theobject of your affections may well decide lookelsewhere.

A particularly enterprising use of illusion has comeabout through interesting misuse of the false visionspell. Many magi, blue or not, have succumbed totemptation and used their scrying abilities to spy onstrapping lads or pretty maids from time to time, andsome coin-hungry illusionists have come up with apretty good scam.

Voyeuristic magi cannot be guaranteed to findsomething worth spying on every time they golooking, and not all magi have the experience orknowledge necessary to conjure up their ownillusions or bed partners. Particularly imaginativeand experienced illusionists designate a place andtime each night that they will create an illusory peepshow. Subscribers (those magi who shell out cash forthis information) tune in from around the world ontheir crystal balls to get their jollies.

For anyone there is always unrequited love, theunattainable lover and the object of affection thatbarely even notices your existence. For these peoplethe illusionist can offer the comforts of asimulacrum. Only the richest can afford this as theinvestment of power by the mage makes this aparticularly exhausting spell to perform. Oddly, themost common ones to pay for this spell are longmarried merchants whose partners have eitherdevoted themselves to their career or simply lostinterest in sex.

NecrNecrNecrNecrNecromancyomancyomancyomancyomancyThe erotic uses of necromancy are best left to thediseased imagination of those who think ofskeletons and then snigger ‘boner’ to each other.There are however two uses of necromantic spellsthat do not immediately reek of necrophilia.

Many people are curious about what things are likefor the opposite sex and many others believe thatthey were born into a body of the wrong sex. Someclerics find such defiance of the will of the gods tobe offensive and damn these people to hell, othersshrug and point out that many gods are capriciousand cruel tricksters and perhaps had these peopleborn into these bodies as ‘a bit of a laugh.’ Either


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way, many seek to experience life as a member of theopposite sex (temporarily or permanently) or to swaptheir body for a beauty or hunk, at least for a littlewhile. Magic jar enables these ‘body tourists’ toindulge their desires for at least a short time andmany become addicted to being other people,refusing to leave without a fight.

Spectral hand is also used by the mage who ismindful of his own safety, groping and goosing withimpunity from a distance while the mage smugly sitsreading the latest woodcut, seemingly innocentwhile their spectral hand terrorises the townsfolk.

TTTTTransmutationransmutationransmutationransmutationransmutationThe spells within the scope of this field of magic are,along with illusion, perhaps the most widespread ofthose misused by blue magi. Transmutation allowsfor so many versatile effects that it becomes like asort of toolkit to be dipped into at almost any time.Unlike illusory magic, transmutation magic isundeniably real and whilst they might fade, there isfar less likelihood of being accused of being a fraudor being caught out for not being what you appearedto be.

Most blue magi get into transmutation magic inorder to alter themselves. Alter self allows the bluemage to fine tune the appearance of their body toeither attract attention or to please their partner inbed, though they have to be careful that the spelldoes not fade too quickly, leading to suddensagging or shrinkage in the bedroom.

Cat’s grace can give the recipient of its magic awickedly nimble tongue or set of fingers and is somuch more tactful than calling someone a ‘uselessand clumsy oaf’ in the middle of sexual relations.

Some people prefer to undress and perform in thedark, in which case the judicious use of darkvisioncan grant an otherwise denied eyeful and greatly aidin the unlacing of difficult undergarments.

Endurance can lend those unable to prolong the act,regardless of other bodily changes, those preciousfew extra seconds guaranteed to get the undyinggratitude of the person on the receiving end.

Enlarge, while somewhat crude in its more obviousapplications, has been giving people extraconfidence, a larger package or a fuller corset sinceit was first invented, doubtless for this purpose.

Haste carries with it the risk of terrible friction burns,but some seem to enjoy the manic energy it lends asession in the bedroom and it can allow one partnerto have reached orgasm several times before theother has finished.

Rope and bondage games become far moreinteresting when animate rope comes into play, andsome blue magi have developed tying and bindingto the level of an art form.

The use of the disintegrate spell is almost as childishas the spells of the evokers, finding use in suchimmature displays of power as dissolving awaypeople’s clothes. Since this is usually performedwhile drunk, aim cannot be guaranteed and manycasualties have resulted. One town was terrorised bya mage panty fetishist who used to abuse this spellto disintegrate everything but the underwear. Whencaptured the only excuse he was able to offer wasthat they would not willingly part with their pantiesand he would never have been able to unlace abrassier.

Telekinesis and mage hand see the usual abuses ofthis sort of thing, being used to grope, pinch, undo,pull, push and manipulate from a distance.

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NEW EROTIC MAGIC SPELLS

New EroticMagic Spells

The following chapter includes a multitude ofnew spells available to bards, sorcerers andwizards with the inclination to learn them.

Alter BrAlter BrAlter BrAlter BrAlter BreastseastseastseastseastsTransmutationLevel: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Touch.Targets: Creature touched.Duration: 30 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (harmless).Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless).

Cast either on yourself or on others this spell canconfer upon the recipient of its magical effect either‘fried eggs’ or ‘big wobbly fun bags’.

Anything from a Double-D down to an A-cup can begiven regardless of the gender of the target. Thisallows the latest fashions to be worn whether buxomor svelte is in season and allows a woman to appealto a breast man in spite of what fate has gifted herwith. In an age of snaggle-toothed crones andmuscular, hairy peasant women a male mage whocasts this spell upon himself can make a veryconvincing woman as well as giving himselfsomething to play with on long winter evenings.

BarBarBarBarBardic Hidingdic Hidingdic Hidingdic Hidingdic HidingIllusion (Glamer)Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Personal.Target: You.Duration: 5 minutes/level.

Bards the world over are renowned for sleeping withpeople they really should not, be they innkeeper’sspouses, kings, queens or the lovers of valiant andjealous knights with enormous razor sharp swords.

Given the bard’s lack of anything remotelyresembling combat ability, many have wonderedhow they have managed to survive. This is mainly

due to being fleet of foot and having alreadyplanned out an escape route, but sometimes it is dueto this simple yet efficacious little spell.

When cast, this spell enables the caster to hideextremely effectively within a boudoir environmentby jumping into cupboards, sliding under beds orstanding ineffectively behind a lamp. Regardless ofwhere they stand or hide, provided they have madeeven a feeble effort to hide, they receive a bonus totheir Hide check equal to their caster level, enablingthem to dodge all but the most observant of jealousspouses.

BaykdoyrBaykdoyrBaykdoyrBaykdoyrBaykdoyre’e’e’e’e’s Ultimate Lubrications Ultimate Lubrications Ultimate Lubrications Ultimate Lubrications Ultimate LubricationConjuration (Creation)Level: Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Touch.Targets: One orifice.Duration: 10 minutes per level.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

Dissatisfied with the stopgap measure of using thegrease spell, the notorious Baykdoyre began todevelop his own spell to ease his exploitation ofhalfling tradesman’s entrances. After muchexperimentation, and no fewer than five trips to thehealers with a ruptured halfling, he finallycompleted his experiments and came up with theperfect magical lubricant.

When conjured, Baykdoyre’s ultimate lubricationcan be chosen to be in one of these fruity flavours –grape, orange, mint or gooseberry. The lubricantproduced is also desensitising making things a loteasier on the receiving party.

Baykdoyre’s successes not only lead to some limitedpersonal fame and fortune, but also to the firstsuccessful halfling/ogre-crossbreeding incident. Hisfame and fortune were limited however, since notlong after releasing his spell to the magicalcommunity he was arrested by the watch, no fewerthan fifteen ruptured pixie bodies having beenfound in his home.

Arcane Material Component: A small vial of lard oranimal fat.

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BerBerBerBerBernadette’nadette’nadette’nadette’nadette’s Illusors Illusors Illusors Illusors Illusory Nakednessy Nakednessy Nakednessy Nakednessy NakednessIllusion (Phantasm)Level: Sor/Wiz 2.Components: V, S, F.Casting Time: 10 minutes.Range: Line of sight.Target: Self, own personal perceptions.Duration: 1 hour +5 minutes/level.Saving Throw: No.Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless).

‘Imagine them naked’ is advice often given tothespians or those undergoing a job interview.Lacking imagination and facing an interview for thejob of court wizard to prince Phuror of Goldenburgthe illusionist Bernadette researched this little spellto enable her to overcome her nerves.

When cast, this spell allows the illusionist to seeeveryone as they would appear if they were naked asa jaybird, increasing the caster’s confidence andperhaps allowing them to see things they wouldrather they had not. The caster receives a +2 bonusto Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, Perform and SenseMotive checks.

The spell had mixed results for Bernadette. She feltmuch more confident until she finally got to talk tothe prince, who was hung so minutely he wouldhave been hard pressed to sexually satisfy the eye ofa needle. Reduced to tearful giggling, Bernadettewas forced to flee and later found gainfulemployment as a magical advisor to the Third Armyof Silverton.

Arcane Focus: A pair of spectacles.

Bigyt’Bigyt’Bigyt’Bigyt’Bigyt’s Grs Grs Grs Grs Groping Handoping Handoping Handoping Handoping HandEvocationLevel: Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S, F.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)Effect: Human sized hand.Duration: 2 rounds/level.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

When cast this spell shapes into being a slightlyglowing blue hand of the same size as the casters. Itcan move at up to 60 ft./round and otherwise has allthe normal statistics of the caster with an increasedAC for being tiny and 1/10th of the caster’s hit points.

The hand travels by the will of the caster and is ableto grope, squeeze, feel, finger, pinch and tweakanything it can be directed to, channelling thosesensations back to the caster.

The hand is not capable of carrying anything orperforming any action more delicate than tweaking anipple.

Arcane Focus: A pigskin glove.

Change OrientationChange OrientationChange OrientationChange OrientationChange OrientationEnchantment (Compulsion)Level: Brd 3, Sor/Wiz 4Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. +5 ft./2 levels).Targets: One living humanoid creature.Duration: 1 hour/level.Saving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

Macho posturing barbarians and warriors all over thelands live in abject terror of this spell, despite their

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rather camp leather and fur outfits and suggestivehorned helmets.

With a few surreptitious gestures the mage plants achange in sexual orientation within the target’s mindand they begin to feel the effects immediately, theirmind wandering into erotic daydreams along thelines of what has been suggested to them.

Once the kink or orientation change has beenimplanted the mage is free to go up and make theirmodest proposal to the now far more receptivetarget, who will hopefully blame the drink come themorning.

Change SexChange SexChange SexChange SexChange SexTransmutationLevel: Sor/Wiz 3.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Touch.Targets: Creature touched.Duration: 30 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Fortitude negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

A few magic words, a waving of hands and theswallowing of a small dried frog and zap, you are abeautiful woman or hunky man, at least in theory.

This spell enables you to transmute to any gender,be it male, female, fully functional hermaphrodite ora fair representation of any weird third or fourthsexes a humanoid species might have.

This spell is often used for disguise or to curse othersfor a short time. Others use it to test whether theyreally would have been better off as the oppositegender and to experience the wonders of the penis orthe female orgasm.

Many are totally unprepared for the hormonalchanges involved in such a drastic bodily alterationand women changing to men can turn into frenziedrampaging beasts seeking to pork anything in sight,while men changing to women can turn into frenziedrampaging beasts seeking chocolate with ferociousintensity.

Arcane Material Component: A small dried frog.

Clothes to Chocolate/Cream/OilClothes to Chocolate/Cream/OilClothes to Chocolate/Cream/OilClothes to Chocolate/Cream/OilClothes to Chocolate/Cream/OilTransmutationLevel: Sor/Wiz 5.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level).Target: One dressed humanoid target.Duration: Instantaneous.Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (object).Spell Resistance: Yes.

This spell transmutes the subject’s clothes intochocolate, cream or oil, forming a layer over theirentire body. Used for practical jokes or in wrestlingcompetition, the spell is favoured by those whoenjoy such things. The United Guild Of Olive, Dairyand Cocoa Farmers do not see the funny side of thisspell and a blue mage who over uses it may findthemselves on the pointy end of a guild member’stools.

Arcane Material Components: A piece of cloth and adrop of oil, cream or melted chocolate.

Cupid’Cupid’Cupid’Cupid’Cupid’s Ars Ars Ars Ars ArrrrrrowowowowowEnchantment (Compulsion)Level: Brd 5, Sor/Wiz 5.Components: S, F.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. +5 ft./2 levels).Targets: One intelligent humanoid.Duration: 1 day +12 hours/level.Saving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

Ah, love such a beautiful thing to behold. This spellthrows the target into a passionate lust,wholehearted desire and heart-wrenching longingfor a romantic attachment to the first thing to crosstheir path that remotely fits their standards of anacceptable partner.

This can unintentionally lead to unwelcomerevelations about the kinks or preferences of thetarget subject, which can cause embarrassment and/or shock, spilt tea and the twitching of net curtains.

This kind of magically induced attraction rarelylasts, usually only leading to a whirlwind romanceof several days and possibly marriage at anunscrupulous and unquestioning temple.

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Arcane Focus: A miniature bow and arrow. Thearrowhead shaped like a heart.

Dirk’Dirk’Dirk’Dirk’Dirk’s Imprs Imprs Imprs Imprs Impressive Tessive Tessive Tessive Tessive ToolooloolooloolIllusion (Phantasm)Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Personal.Effect: Humanoids within line of sight of penis.Duration: 15 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless).Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless).

Fed up with being laughed at once he dropped hisrobes, the gnome sorcerer Dirk Poyksward came upwith this minor enchantment to improve hisreputation.

Once cast, anyone who sets eyes upon the genitaliaof the caster will regard it as the absolute mostbeautiful and enormous example of manhood theyhave ever seen and will feel compelled topass this information on to anyone whomight be remotely interested.

After using his spell while seeking relationswith a few prostitutes and relieving himselfat the public privy, Dirk soon found hisreputation improving. At least until amerchant from a trading party of friendlygiants caught sight of him and startedcomparing his girth to that of the great tree’sof the northern forests.

Contrary to the opinion of the women of thetown, under endowed gnomes do not makegood piñata.

Arcane Material Component: A sausage.

Fascinating Cleavage/PackageFascinating Cleavage/PackageFascinating Cleavage/PackageFascinating Cleavage/PackageFascinating Cleavage/PackageEnchantment (Charm)Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 minute.Range: Touch.Targets: Creatures viewing target.Duration: 1 hour +15 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

Cast upon a suitable décolletage or lunchbox, thisspell renders the area utterly fascinating to thosewho would be normally attracted to such sights,regardless of the actual state of the area in question.

Those who gaze upon the enchanted crotch orbreasts will find themselves oddly fascinated, andvulnerable to buying drinks and doing other favoursfor the subject of this spell.

The recipient receives a +2 bonus to all Bluff,Diplomacy, Disguise, Gather information andPerform checks provided they are directed at asusceptible audience that has not resisted the spell.

As with many spells that appear to enhance the‘characteristics’ of the subject, when the spell wearsoff they can be subject to the disappointment andanger of those who have been duped. This was welldemonstrated by the public lynching of ‘Long-Dong’ McTavish (formerly ‘Pixie-Hung’ McTavish),the noted bard whose spell suddenly collapsed

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during a performance of ‘I know where you can stickyour turnip’ at the Orc’s Head tavern in Bintergate.

Arcane Material Component: A sock or handful ofrags suitably placed.

Hypnotic RumpHypnotic RumpHypnotic RumpHypnotic RumpHypnotic RumpEnchantment (Charm)Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1.Components: S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Personal.Effect: Creatures of correct orientation with line ofsight to buttocks.Duration: 1 round/level plus the casters Charismascore.Saving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

This powerful enchantment renders the castersbuttocks fascinating beyond belief to those of thesexual orientation to appreciate such a sight that areable to see.

Roll 2d4 +1/level to determine how many hit-dice ofcreatures can be affected by a single casting of thisspell.

Those affected can do nothing but stare and makelewd comments, and are completely distracted fromwhatever they were doing be it guard duty, knittingor preparing a spell.

Blue mages caught on the hop and attacked out ofthe blue have been known to use this spelldefensively, friskily wiggling their buttocks atattacking monsters and praying for the best. Othersuse the spell to distract guards while their roguecompanion’s sneak past.

Arcane Material Component: A scrap of leather orrubber placed next to the buttocks.

IllusorIllusorIllusorIllusorIllusory Hary Hary Hary Hary HaremememememIllusion (Shadow)Level: Sor/Wiz 5.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 minute.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels).Targets: One room.Duration: 1 hour/level.Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless).Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless).

This spell reaches into the subconscious of acreature and fills the targeted room with illusory softcushions, fragrant perfumes and a bevy (2d6) ofbeauties/studs all drawn from the desires and needshidden in the subject’s mind. Each creature viewingthe room sees something according to their ownpreferences, which can lead to some interestingsituations when there is an incompatibility betweentwo viewers ideas.

Those who succumb, willingly or unwillingly, to theeffect of the spell are then free to enjoy whateversports they so desire with the illusory harem untilsuch time as it dissipates, which can lead to someawkward moments and some expensive drycleaning.

Arcane Material Component: A scrap of silk, a pinchof spice and a grain of sand.

Instant LovenestInstant LovenestInstant LovenestInstant LovenestInstant LovenestConjuration (Creation)Level: Brd 5, Sor/Wiz 4.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 10 minutes.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)Effect: One room.Duration: 2 hours/level.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

So you have hooked your dream date and got themback to your magical tower. You invite them in for a‘refreshing herbal infusion,’ smile sexily and openthe door only to remember to your horror that, notonly have you not washed the sheets in six months,but your tower is littered with empty boxes from thedwarven take-away.

With a word, a gesture and a handful of gold coinsthis helpful spell covers all that up in a whirl ofmagical energy. Unseen servants rush about theplace hurling ashtrays and takeaway boxes out ofthe window and spraying a subtle musk about theplace. Raw magical energy lights the candles, sexyred silk sheets drape the bed and soft romantic musicbegins to play.

While this spell has not saved any lives, it hascovered many an arse from potential romanticdisaster.

Arcane Material Component: A handful of goldcoins, around 12 gold pieces, flung into the room.

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Locate ClitorisLocate ClitorisLocate ClitorisLocate ClitorisLocate ClitorisDivinationLevel: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Touch.Targets: One sex partner.Duration: 30 minutes +2 minutes/level.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

From his vantage in the attic-space above the femaledormitory of his magical college, an enterprisingstudent heard and noted down the sexual complaintsand disappointments he heard. Chief amongst themwas that ‘most men couldn’t find the clitoris with amap and a native guide.’

Setting out to solve the problem, he came up withthis simple but devastatingly effective spell,scribbled it on a piece of scroll paper and tucked itinto a copy of ‘Old Boore’s Almanac’ in the collegelibrary. It was rediscovered several years later, alongwith a small packet of dried mushrooms and apornographic depiction of Ehlonna and a veryfriendly unicorn.

MorMorMorMorMordykenen’dykenen’dykenen’dykenen’dykenen’s Ws Ws Ws Ws Wonderonderonderonderonderful Brful Brful Brful Brful BrothelothelothelothelothelConjuration (Creation)Level: Sor/Wiz 8Components: V, S, F.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)Effect: Three 10-ft. cubes/level.Duration: 2 hours/level.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

Sometimes you want comfort and a little hospitalityas well as shelter, which is where this spell comes in.

With a casting of this spell you conjure up apleasurable redoubt within the plane of lust, amagnificent floating brothel hovering in the pinkishclouds of that realm. The brothel has an impressivelobby leading to other rooms that are all decoratedto the caster’s taste and staffed with creatures fromthe plane of lust, ready and willing to perform anyfavour for those who gain entry.

The brothel has a single entrance on the plane fromwhich it was cast that will only allow entry to thosethe caster has named. Others either do not see it orare repelled by an invisible force.

There is enough in the way of candies, sweetmeatsand nibbles to feed a number of people equal totwelve times the caster’s level. The rooms are self-cleaning and there are baths and fresh wateravailable for those who want them. A crystalwindow in the lobby provides a stunning view of theclouds and the landscape of the plane far below.

This spell may be recast to maintain the brothelindefinitely and even if it is allowed to fade theexact same place with the exact same staff may berecreated the next time the spell is cast, if so desired.

Arcane Focus: A lewd picture on a folded piece ofpaper.

MorMorMorMorMorning Wning Wning Wning Wning WoodoodoodoodoodTransmutationLevel: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Personal.Target: You.Duration: 4 hours +1 hour/level.

Many men awake in the morning with a magnificentand perfect erection that would normally go utterlyto waste. By casting this spell the blue mage is ableto preserve the morning’s first glorious hard-on forlater use.

Arcane Material Component: A small stick and apiece of string.

Moveable PleasurMoveable PleasurMoveable PleasurMoveable PleasurMoveable Pleasure Zonee Zonee Zonee Zonee ZoneTransmutationLevel: Sor/Wiz 2.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Touch.Targets: One living creature.Duration: 30 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Fortitude negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

This wondrous spell enables the caster to mess withthe pleasure zones of the targets. Those affected bythe spell can suddenly find that the mere act ofshaking hands gives them more pleasure than theyhave ever known or that testing the bath water withtheir elbow is like dipping their testicles into aboiling kettle.

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Whichever area is affected becomes the target’sprimary pleasure zone and as a consequenceextremely sensitive in terms of both tactile sensationand pain.

Musical AccompanimentMusical AccompanimentMusical AccompanimentMusical AccompanimentMusical AccompanimentIllusion (Figment)Level: Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S, F.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Personal.Targets: 1 room.Duration: 5 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Will disbelief.Spell Resistance: No.

When getting one’s ‘groove’ on it can be beneficialto have some musical accompaniment to enhancethe mood and give a rhythm to work to.

This spell only seems able to produce the sort ofmusic that is heard in the seedier taverns with plushcarpets and fading gold trim. The music producedalways seems to incorporate the noise ‘Chakka-bow-now.’

Arcane Focus: A miniature lute or piano and thepedal from a spinning wheel.

Night VNight VNight VNight VNight VisitorisitorisitorisitorisitorIllusion (Shadow)Level: Sor/Wiz 5.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 10 minutes.Range: Unlimited.Targets: One living creature.Duration: Instantaneous.Saving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

This spell creates a shadowy dream visitor that goesto the target in the night and engages them invigorous rumpy-pumpy until they awake in themorning, exhausted and pleasured beyond thecapacity to seek more.

Those affected by this spell do not gain the benefitsof resting for the night. They regain no hit points,and spellcasters are unable to prepare spells. Also,the target is unable to become sexually aroused for aperiod of 24 hours.

Material Component: A piece of cheese and afeather to be burned.

OnestrOnestrOnestrOnestrOnestrum’um’um’um’um’s Personal Fluidic Enhancers Personal Fluidic Enhancers Personal Fluidic Enhancers Personal Fluidic Enhancers Personal Fluidic EnhancerTransmutationLevel: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, S, F.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Personal.Target: You.Duration: Instantaneous.

Striving to understand every aspect of humanoidsexuality, the infamous Onestrum Fiddler embarkedon an exhaustive study on the sexual issue of everysingle humanoid species before making a stunningdiscovery.

The bigger ones by and large produced more.

Driven by the desire to do so himself and to giveothers the same possibility, he distilled the essenceof these larger creatures via magical processes anddiscovered a way to confer their prodigious levels ofspooge production on lesser beings.

Now, any mage with a basic understanding of magicis capable of producing amounts of sexual effluviathat would make a Titan proud.

Arcane Focus: A small vial containing the ejaculateof a Large humanoid.

PerPerPerPerPercy’cy’cy’cy’cy’s Personal Prs Personal Prs Personal Prs Personal Prs Personal ProphylacticophylacticophylacticophylacticophylacticAbjurationLevel: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, M.Casting Time: 2 minutes.Range: Touch.Targets: Self or one other person.Duration: One bout of sexual activity.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

After being besieged in his tower by barmaidscarrying young babies while suffering his fifteenthbout of ‘creeping cock nobbler,’ Percival Magisterdecided enough was enough. Working hard to tryand ignore the shouting from outside, he first hid allhis treasure on the ethereal plane and then set aboutensuring this would never happen to another young‘mage about town’.

Finally the breakthrough came and this commonlyused cantrip came into being. When it is cast, theone protected by it cannot contract any sexually

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transmitted disease their dabbling cannot result inpregnancy.

Arcane Material Component: A knotted piece ofstring placed nearby.

Phantasmal LoverPhantasmal LoverPhantasmal LoverPhantasmal LoverPhantasmal LoverIllusion (Phantasm)Level: Sor/Wiz 3.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)Targets: One living creature.Duration: Instantaneous.Saving Throw: See below.Spell Resistance: Yes.

You create a phantasmal image of the most eroticand enticing thing imaginable to the target. Whenfirst targeted by the spell, the target must make aWill save to try and disbelieve the illusion. If theyfail, it reaches out and touches them in an intimatemanner requiring them to then make a Fortitudesave.

If they succeed the Fortitude save they are affectedas though by the vinegar strokes spell. If they failthey are instantly stunned and drop to the groundwith a bemused and pleasurable look on their face.They are unable to speak, act or do anything for 1d6hours unless attacked or harmed in some way tobring them out of their reverie.

PherPherPherPherPheromone Enhanceromone Enhanceromone Enhanceromone Enhanceromone EnhancerTransmutationLevel: Brd 3, Sor/Wiz 2.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 2 minutes.Range: Personal.Area: 10 ft. radius emanation.Duration: 30 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: No.

This spell causes the target to emit magicallycharged pheromones, driving all those of theopposite sex within the area wild with desire. Anyhumanoids of the opposite sex who stray within tenfeet of the caster will find themselves irresistiblyattracted to them at a base animal level.

The caster gains a +5 bonus to all Bluff, Diplomacyor Gather Information checks used against those

affected by the spell, but also has to put up withbeing pawed, groped and otherwise harassed.

Arcane Material Component: Expensive perfumecontaining musk.

Pleasurable VPleasurable VPleasurable VPleasurable VPleasurable VibrationibrationibrationibrationibrationEvocationLevel: Sor/Wiz 2Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: 10 ft.Targets: One object.Duration: 2 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Will negates (object).Spell Resistance: Yes (object).

This spell infuses the target object with magicalenergy, setting it slightly out of phase with thenative plane upon which it is cast. This causes theobject to waver between the planes and vibrate atpleasant amplitude.

The spell’s applications for pleasure are obvious butthere are a couple of unconventional uses the spellcan be put to. If cast on a held object, such as asword, it can make that difficult to keep hold of.Whoever is holding the object must make a Reflex

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save (DC 15) or drop the object. If cast on a suitableitem, such as a pair of hose, the target will beincredibly distracted for the duration of the spell andsuffer a -1 penalty to AC, attack rolls, saving throwsand skill checks until they can remove the item.

Arcane Material Component: A dead bee or wasp.

Power WPower WPower WPower WPower Wororororord, Ord, Ord, Ord, Ord, OrgasmgasmgasmgasmgasmConjuration (Creation)Level: Sor/Wiz 7Components: VCasting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)Targets: One creature.Duration: See text.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: Yes.

With a single utterance so profoundly obscene,shocking and pornographic that even the gods oflove blush to hear it, the mage causes the target toturn into a melting pool of orgasmic bliss.

Any creature with a Constitution score of less than10 is effectively stunned, writhing on the floor inbliss for 3d6 rounds. Creatures with a Constitutionscore between 10 and 20 are stunned for 2d6 roundsand creatures with a Constitution score of 20 orabove are stunned for 1d6 rounds.

Being hit or harmed in any way instantly breaks theeffects of this spell, otherwise the target is limited togroaning in ecstasy and getting their hosiery dampand are considered to be prone.

Power word, orgasm is a powerful but messy way ofensuring a retreat from battle, a sure-fire way ofpleasing a partner and a good way to ensure they arenot faking it.

Prismatic Chastity BeltPrismatic Chastity BeltPrismatic Chastity BeltPrismatic Chastity BeltPrismatic Chastity BeltAbjurationLevel: Sor/Wiz 7Components: V, SCasting Time: 1 action.Range: 10 ft.Targets: One person.Duration: 1 day per level.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: Yes.

Paranoid king Randai married a much younger andvery beautiful princess. Seeing the lusty looks onthe faces of his knights and the castle staff hecharged the court wizards with finding a solution tothe problem.

After much research they came up with a novelapplication of the principles behind prismaticsphere, spray and wall. Anyone attempting to havetheir way with the princess would have theirgenitalia roasted by flames, burned by acid,electrocuted, poisoned, turned to stone andteleported to another plane.

Overjoyed the king showered his wizards with goldand immediately left on an expedition, knowing hiswife was safe. Whereupon, immune to the effects oftheir own spell, the wizards retired to the princess’quarters for the time of their lives.

None-the-less, the spell remains popular with jealoushusbands all over the land.

PrPrPrPrProtection frotection frotection frotection frotection from Mingersom Mingersom Mingersom Mingersom MingersAbjurationLevel: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Touch.Targets: Creature touched.Duration: 1 minute/level.Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless).Spell Resistance: No.

Users of some of the other spells listed here, as wellas ‘beautiful’ people, often find themselves subjectto the unwanted attentions of mingers – thosepeople who not only fell from the ugly tree hittingevery branch on the way down, but also hit atrampoline at the bottom and slammed into everybranch again, before falling in front of the ugly cartand being run down by it.

How to deal with this problem? A defensive spellseemed to be the only option and so one wasdeveloped from the standard alignment protectionspells. The spell works almost exactly akin to thestandard ‘protection from…’ spells but preventsphysical contact from any ugly humanoid. Thisdoes not work against non-humanoid monsters orany creature not intending their proximity toinclude hanky-panky.

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Arcane Material Component: Crushed flower petalsthat are sprinkled in a three-foot circle around thecreature to be warded.

Ray of Nipple HardeningRay of Nipple HardeningRay of Nipple HardeningRay of Nipple HardeningRay of Nipple HardeningEvocationLevel: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels).Effect: Ray.Duration: Instantaneous.Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (harmless).Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless).

Using some of the notes and preparations made inthe formulation of the ray of frost spell, this spellproduces a slightly chilly light blue ray that playsacross the chest of the target, causing their nipples toswell to sensitive and visible prominence.

If prepared as a 1st level spell instead of a cantrip theray can be invisible, allowing the caster to get up toall sorts of mischief.

Shynara’Shynara’Shynara’Shynara’Shynara’s Flirs Flirs Flirs Flirs Flirtatious Glancetatious Glancetatious Glancetatious Glancetatious GlanceEnchantment (Charm)Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1.Components: S.Casting Time: 1 full turn.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels).Targets: One recipient.Duration: Instantaneous.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

Sometimes even a whispered message is not subtleenough, and you can only use the Innuendo skill somuch. In circumstances like this Shynara’sflirtatious glance is a real boon. With a singleglance the caster is able to leave the target inabsolutely no uncertainty as to exactly what theywould like to do with them, all without a word beingsaid.

The caster can send a single run-on sentence to thetarget by glancing at them and catching theirattention.

Soft FocusSoft FocusSoft FocusSoft FocusSoft FocusIllusion (Phantasm)Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0.Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels).Targets: Self or one humanoid creature.Duration: 10 minutes +2 minutes/level.Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless).Spell Resistance: Yes.

When cast on oneself, one’s sight is affected causingeverything to take on a slightly hazy and goldenglow. This can make places seem nostalgic anddreamlike, and can make the people you are lookingat seem a lot more attractive. The relaxation thisaffords increases your Will and Fortitude saves byone but causes you to take a –2 penalty to resistanyone’s attempts to seduce or dupe you.

If cast on another person you can use theirvulnerability to gain a +2 bonus to seduce, bluff orcharm them.


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Speedy UndressSpeedy UndressSpeedy UndressSpeedy UndressSpeedy UndressTransmutationLevel: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1Components: V, S.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels).Targets: One dressed target.Duration: Instantaneous.Saving Throw: Reflex negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

With a word and a gesture the target’s clothes fallaway from their body, leaving them naked apart fromthe boots they are standing in. This includes anyarmour but does not include helmets, hats orjewellery.

The original purpose of this spell was for ogling andpranks, as well as saving time when engaged inquick knee-tremblers behind taverns. It has sincebeen misused by adventurers for denuding theirtargets of their armour to make them easier kills, butits original purpose remains popular.

Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner Itner Itner Itner Itner IConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 1.Components: V, S, F.Casting Time: 1 full round.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)Effect: One summoned creature.

Duration: The duration of a single uninterrupted sexact.Saving Throw: None.Spell Resistance: No.

This spell summons a creature and binds them intoyour presence or that of a client long enough for asexual act to take place. The creature summonedmay not be entirely willing (some are) but is boundby the magic of the spell to do what is required andcannot return to their home save by fulfilling thedemands of the spell. Beware of meeting apreviously summoned creature outside the contextof the spell or you may well be in trouble.

Choose a 1st level creature from the Summon SexPartner table.

Arcane Focus: A lit candle and a handful of tissues.

Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner IItner IItner IItner IItner IIConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 2.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.

As summon sex partner I except you can summonone partner from the 2nd level list or 1d3 partners ofthe same type from the 1st level list.

Summon Sex Partner IIISummon Sex Partner IIISummon Sex Partner IIISummon Sex Partner IIISummon Sex Partner IIIConjuration (Summoning) [see text]


Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partnertnertnertnertner

1st LevelAasimar.Dryad.Imp.Medium-size animated object.Merfolk.Ogre.Satyr.Sprite, grigSprite, nixie.Tiefling.

2nd LevelMephit.Centaur.Doppelganger.Large animated object.

3rd LevelAraneaGenie, janni.Half-celestial.Hound archon.Minotaur.Sprite, pixie.Triton.

4th LevelGenie, djinn.Half-fiend.Troll.Yuan-ti pureblood.

5th LevelHalf-dragon.Kyton.Lamia.Nymph.

6th LevelDrider.Erinyes.Lillend.

7th LevelGenie, efreeti.Gynosphinx.Ogre mage.

8th LevelAndrosphinxAvoralRakshasa.Succubus.

9th LevelAstral devaGhaeleTrumpet Archon

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Level: Sor/Wiz 3.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.

As summon sex partner I except you can summonone partner from the 3rd level list, 1d3 partners of thesame type from the 2nd level list or 1d4+1 partners ofthe same type from the 1st level list.

Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner IVtner IVtner IVtner IVtner IVConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 4.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.

As summon sex partner I except you can summonone partner from the 4th level list, 1d3 partners of thesame type from the 3rd level list or 1d4+1 partners ofthe same type from a lower level list.

Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner Vtner Vtner Vtner Vtner VConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 5.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.

As summon sex partner I except you can summonone partner from the 5th level list, 1d3 partners of thesame type from the 4th level list or 1d4+1 partners ofthe same type from a lower level list.

Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner VItner VItner VItner VItner VIConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 6.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.


Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner VIItner VIItner VIItner VIItner VIIConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 7.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.


Summon Sex Partner VIIISummon Sex Partner VIIISummon Sex Partner VIIISummon Sex Partner VIIISummon Sex Partner VIIIConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 8.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.


Summon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex ParSummon Sex Partner IXtner IXtner IXtner IXtner IXConjuration (Summoning) [see text]Level: Sor/Wiz 9.Effect: One or more summoned creatures, no two ofwhich can be more than 30 ft. apart.


VVVVVinegar Strinegar Strinegar Strinegar Strinegar StrokesokesokesokesokesEnchantment (Compulsion)Level: Sor/Wiz 1Components: V, S, M.Casting Time: 1 action.Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft/2 levels).Target: One creature.Duration: 1d4 rounds + 1 round/levelSaving Throw: Will negates.Spell Resistance: Yes.

This simple yet effective spell causes the target notto orgasm but rather to enter the tense and nervetingling set of sensations just before orgasm.

While affected the target is unable to do muchexcept make ‘Ooh! Aah!’ sounds hop from foot tofoot and produce a series of comedic andembarrassing facial expressions. The target isunable to move, cast spells or use mental abilitiesbut can defend themselves from attack and attackersreceive no bonuses to hit.

Some particularly lonely or busy blue magi use thisto expedite a speedier end to romantic encountersleaving them more time free to devote to seriousresearch.

Arcane Material Component: A few drops ofvinegar.


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THE PLANE OF LUST

The plane oflust

It is the place where lust originates.It is a place where pain and pleasure merge as one.It is the height of passion and the depths ofperversity.It is only available ‘under the counter’.It comes ‘wrapped in a plain cover’.It is the spiritual equivalent of a Red Light District.

Many forces and concepts manifest as a plane ofexistence interweaving and leaking into the materialworld as well as existing separate from it. For a longtime respectable magi as well as blue magi positedthe existence of a plane of lust, a force manifested inthe world through attraction and lust.

The plane of lust is an endless world withoutborders, without curvature and without edge. It can

be explored forever; the only limit is how far youwish to travel. Reds, pinks, creams and skin tonesdominate the colours of the landscape with softlyrolling hills leading to verdant valleys. Mysteriouscaves filled with hot springs and wondrous hiddentreasures, lush forests replete with nymphs and satyrsunder a pale pink sky whose clouds are dotted withfloating castles. Here and there great stone towersand obelisks stand proud and everywhere echoeswith the sounds of pleasure being vigorouslyindulged. The landscape is changeable though,always slowly shifting to create new and excitingconfigurations. Every pleasure or perversity ismanifested here in some form, from trees festoonedwith hanging, bound bodies strapped in leather tothe heaving pools where endless orgies form anddissipate. The air is heady with perfume and death isvirtually unknown, the land is so fertile that merelybreathing is enough to keep one fed and watered,though the air is thick and misty with pollen fromthe profusion of beautiful and suggestive flowers.

Planar LinksThe plane of lust links across to the other planesfairly strongly, if it did not reproduction wouldlikely be impossible on other planes, save whereprocreation has nothing to do with attraction andeverything to do with brutality or cold, unfeelingneed for progeny.

Every time someone or something gets a littlehanky-panky in another plane (especially thematerial world), a little of the energy of the planeof lust is siphoned off and escapes into the realworld. Meanwhile the lusts, desires and thoughtsof those on the other plane are reflected in theplane of lust in the form of mirages or landscapechanges.

Some worlds float closer to the plane of lust thanothers and some almost touch on certain regions ofthe plane. The world of Goug, for example, existsacross a tiny planar boundary from the forest ofleather. Replete with sex slaves in skimpy bits offur and muscle-bound barbarians it spins throughthe multiverse blissfully unaware of the havoc theplane of lust is causing.

Any of these conduits can be used as a focus forthose using spells that enable them to travelbetween the planes, granting them much moreaccurate travel provided they are not squeamishabout interrupting someone in flagrant delicto.

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Lusty InhabitantsThe plane of lust is relatively benign, only thefurther reaches become threatening with the chancesof spanking, rough horseplay and ticklingincreasing only as you head deeper and deeper intothe plane. In the darkest foulest reaches ofperversity worse things might happen, but none withsense venture so far.

The plane is home to a vast variety of creatures andanimals, almost anything from any plane thatengages in sexual activity of any sort can be foundhere, indulging to their heart’s content.

The plane has a strong pull to inhabitants of otherworlds, many of them making the transition to livein this plane and never leaving. Most of them settlein towns and cities in areas of the plane that best suittheir own proclivities, though the great city ofpolyamora holds those who feel a kinship to planarvisitors.

Established portals to almost all other planes can befound in the plane of lust from the tides in the seaspulling one to the elemental plane of water to theshadows of the infidelity wood which leads to thelair of the succubi.

Dolphins are extremely numerous in the seas of thisplane and the land is awash with rabbits. Theseseem to be a symbolic representation of the planeitself and exist in all sizes and varieties. Those whodwell upon the plane consider them a lucky animal.

Movement on thePlane of Lust

The plane of lust is infinite in size, but the furtheryou travel from your starting point the kinkierand more depraved the landscape and inhabitantsbecome.

Between this effect and the constantly changingterrain, the plane can be an extremely confusingplace to travel in. The only constant landmarkis polyamora, whose great turreted spires andsuggestive towers can almost always be seen onthe horizon and appear to represent a centrepoint for the plane as a whole.

Features of thePlane of Lust

Survival on the plane is easy, all one needs do isbreathe to be sustained, though food and drink alsoexist in abundance to be indulged in and misused.Only the darkest reaches are dangerous to life andlimb, though other parts can be dangerous tosensibility and morality. The plane does have adrastic and lasting effect on the morality and sexualmores of those who spend time there. Anyonearriving on the plane will sense their libidoincreasing and their morals loosening, those whospend years on the plane gradually become moreand more lusty and open-minded to new pleasures.It is because of this that the great pink-marble city ofpolyamora is inhabited mostly by new immigrants.Even the most devout and chaste paladin canbecome no better than a common tavern harlot givenenough time under the influence of the plane.

Nymph ForNymph ForNymph ForNymph ForNymph ForestsestsestsestsestsGreat stands of trees gather in areas of the plane,laden down with fruit, full of game animals and

THE PLANE OF LUST

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replete with nymphs, dryads, satyrs, centaurs andother traditional woodland creatures.

Every tree hangs with its branches low, heavy withfruit and blossom at the same time with every gladehome to a nymph or satyr and every tree a dryad. Allare extremely pleased to see any visitors and will doall they can to make them feel at home, wanted andneeded.

Further into the plane some of the forests take on adarker aspect, covered with vines that make goodropes, tree roots that tangle feet or could hold themin place, trees with bark like soft leather and fruitjust the right size for a ball-gag.

WWWWWaters of Lustaters of Lustaters of Lustaters of Lustaters of LustSprings pop up everywhere full of clear, cool wateror forming natural pools around hot springs.Popular and well-used ones become permanentfeatures of the plane and settlements may even growup around them.

The rain when it falls is light and warm, just enoughto make clothes and hair cling to the body ininteresting ways, for those who still wear clothesanyway. Streams are full of fish and followed alongtheir course by laughing water sprites as they windtheir way down to the lakes and pools which areawash with orgiastic creatures linked in an unendingball of lust and desire. The great seas are full ofmerfolk, tritons and many thousands of dolphins,while the beaches are lined with soft white sand anddotted with a great many brightly-coloured shells.

The spring waters of the plane, if brought back to thematerial world, become a restorative to lost libidoand do a great deal to cure erectile-dysfunctia whichmakes this ‘via-aqua’ extremely popular amongstrich geriatrics.

PolyamoraPolyamoraPolyamoraPolyamoraPolyamoraThe great city of polyamora is the first home fromhome for many of those who decide to settle on theplane. Pink marble-paved streets wind up and downin a gentle undulation between houses and towers of

flesh tone rock. Fountains spray hereand there, creating cool spots to restfrom the balmy atmosphere of theplane. The squares are filled withmarkets selling all manner of sexualequipment, books, spells and services.Some from the further reaches of theplane travel here to entice others whoshare their kinks back with them andothers serve in the brothels, which aremore common than the taverns and donot charge.

With no need for food or drink save forpleasure, the shops that sell such fareall sell luxuries often traded for sexualfavours rather than money. Theconfections are wonders, near magicalin their creation and unmatchedanywhere else on the planes. Someoffer services to prepare their patronslike confectionery and then have itnibbled off them piece by piece. Thoseplaces that offer drinks offer exoticcocktails, sweet liqueurs and finelyaged spirits. Clothiers sell only themost flattering of outfits cut from themost diaphanous of silks. Perfumerieswaft their enticing and exotic scentsacross the squares, bringing in

THE PLANE OF LUST

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customers with the promise of making them smelllike they feel. Public bathes charge the most modestof fees but the interiors are anything but modest.Erotic mosaics, animated by magic, lie under thebath waters and cover every wall.

The city seems to take care of itself, repairingdamage done to it and keeping itself fastidiouslyclean. This is a good thing because with almostevery citizen a transitory, they do not take good careof the houses and rooms they settle, never intendingto stay. The entire city is completely carefree andirresponsible.

Shudder QuakesShudder QuakesShudder QuakesShudder QuakesShudder QuakesOccasionally a moaning wind howls across theplane, rustling the trees and blowing a spicy scentacross the inhabitants, it is soon followed by atrembling in the ground as though the land itselfwere having an orgasm. The shudders vary inintensity but never do more than throw people fromtheir feet. Only the most ramshackle of dwellings isever knocked over.

SuggestivenessSuggestivenessSuggestivenessSuggestivenessSuggestivenessAbsolutely everything on the plane of lust issuggestive. The fruit and flowers resemble sexualorgans if you so much as squint slightly at them, theclouds form a tableau of suggestive images in thesky that would make a wench blush and the towersof polyamora ‘jut proudly into the air, erect andfirm.’ The hills form images that look like giantnaked figures lying on the ground and springs donot bubble – they spurt. Even the trees look likenaked bodies twined together (and with dryads theyoften are).

If there is the slightest opportunity for something totake on an even partial sexual connotation, it will.

Template: Creatureof Lust

Creatures of lust dwell on the plane of lust,appearing as well endowed and energetic creaturessimilar to their counterparts on the material world,but tend to be reddish or pinkish in colour. Theireyes are always deep and soulful and they are alwaysextremely randy.

CrCrCrCrCreating a Creating a Creating a Creating a Creating a Creatureatureatureatureature of Luste of Luste of Luste of Luste of Lust‘Creature of lust’ is a template that can be added toany corporeal aberration, animal, beast, fey, giant,humanoid, magical beast, monstrous humanoid,plant or vermin (referred to hereafter as the ‘basecreature’). The creature’s type changes to ‘outsider(lust).’ It uses all the base creature’s statistics andabilities except as noted below.

Hit Dice: Change to d8.

Speed: Same as the base creature.

Special Attacks: A lust element creature retains anyof the special attacks of the base creature and inaddition gains the supernatural ability to induce lustin those creatures around it. All creatures within 30ft. must make a Will save (DC 10 + ½ creatures hitdice + Charisma modifier) or give in to their lusts,immediately stopping what they were doing andengaging in intimate and passionate relations withthe nearest viable candidate.

Special Qualities: Same as the base creature.

Saves: Same as the base creature.

Abilities: Increase from the base creature as follows:Str +0, Dex +2, Con +2, Int +0, Wis +0, Cha +4.All lust element creatures are extremely dextrous,enduring, attractive, well proportioned and giftedwith prodigious sexual characteristics.

Skills: A creature of lust has 8 skill points, plus itsIntelligence modifier, per Hit Die. Treat skills fromthe base creature’s list as class skills and other skillsas cross-class. If the creature has a class, it gainsskills for class levels normally.

Feats: A creature of lust has 1 feat for every 4 full hitdice it possesses or the base creature’s number offeats, whichever is greater. In addition, all creaturesof lust possess the Endurance and BedroomProficiency feats for free.

Climate/Terrain: Same as the base creature.Organisation: Same as the base creature.Challenge Rating: Same as the base creature +1.Treasure: Half standard.Alignment: Usually chaotic neutral.Advancement: Same as the base creature.

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PERVERSIONS OF POWER

Perversionsof Power

The study of blue magic is not well regardedby the established schools of magic and sothose who make a serious attempt to explore

its possibilities tend to cling to the fringes of normaland polite society. They carve themselves a niche inthe slums of the cities and the backroom whispers ofthe noble fraternity and make their living from thesexual problems and desires of others accompaniedby a guarantee of anonymity.

Dismissed as charlatans by more regular magic users(whose bluster is just as likely to be a cover for theirown magical infidelity while at college) the bluemagi are forced to rely on themselves rather than theinsular magi of the world for support. This is thecase even in cities ruled by uncaring sorcerer kings.Blue magi remain extremely popular with themasses, which causes them to be disliked anddiscriminated against by conventional magic usersall the more.

Occasionally a ‘moral crusade’ will be launchedwhere the blue magi have settled, and this is one ofthe few times you will find mages and clerics inagreement. After a prominent person’s sensibilitieshave been offended (or the cure did not work, orthey do not want to pay the blue mage) new lawswill be enacted, and the offending mage may wellfind himself chased out of his home. This does notmake a lot of difference to the mage, other thancausing a little bit of turbulence to their lifestyle, asthey will always be wanted or needed by someone.

The risk is always there for a blue mage that theywill get caught up in their own pleasure, their ownmagic becoming even more insular and self centredthan the conventional magi they criticise so much.For this reason, most of the particularly successfulblue magi are those who use their magic to assist andserve others. This keeps them grounded in realityand means they meet a lot of everyday folk ratherthan spending all their time in bed with a succubusand two nymphs or scrying the bath chambers of thelocal nunnery.

The Blue ArtsAlmost all save the most prudish of magic users haveexperimented with the sexual use of magic at somepoint, usually while in their teens and at the magicalcolleges. Most grow out of it or become so caughtup in the power and glory that they no longer careabout such things.

Those who do continue their studies in the rich veinof erotic magic are often amongst the most talented,having to research and expand on their strand ofmagic without hundreds of other wizards or grandinstitutions and libraries to draw on. These gallantand studious individuals dedicate their lives to thestudy of blue magic for several reasons.

First are those who are simply fascinated by sex. Tobe fair most people are fascinated by sex and spend alarge proportion of their lives in pursuit ofpersuading someone to insert tab ‘A’ into slot ‘B’ andwiggle it around for a bit. Most people do thisalongside the everyday parts of their lives but thesemagi are completely obsessive about it, seeking itconstantly, night and day, awake or asleep, alwayswilling and eager to try something new. Othersobsess in a different way, fascinated by sex butunable to instil in themselves the confidence to seekit out. Unable to overcome this weakness throughtheir magic they disappear into their towers withtheir crystal balls and become unseen but no lesscreepy, stalkers. No infidelity or nakedness goesunseen in the city that harbours them.

Second are those who believe lust to be a vast anduntapped potential power. They are right but it isnot a power that will ever be fully tamed. It is notlife eternal, it is not the power to destroy or rule, noris it the inevitable power of destruction and the darkstudied in necromancy. Lust tends to control you,not the other way around. All a mage can reallyhope for is to channel that energy in roughly theright direction they want when it is called upon inanything other than the tiniest amounts. Powergames and misunderstandings typify the blue magewho comes from this path.

Third are those who desperately want to overcomestereotype. Every broad shouldered barbarian andbra-bursting ranger is a slap in the face to thescholarly magi who are seen by most to be bookish,weak, undesirable and geeky. Mages are so rarelythought of in a sexual manner that it makes thepursuit of love and lust even more difficult for them.

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Sadly the blue magi who try to overcome thisstereotype seem to only feed it, people regardingthem as needing magic in order to get laid andcommenting on how pathetic it is to have tosummon a date.

Fourth are those who are simply no good at anyother kind of magic. While they have the magicaltalent and are able to cast spells, for some reasonmagic just does not quite work right for them.Perhaps they are apathetic, perhaps they did notapply themselves, whatever the reason conventionalmagical professions have not worked out for them.Living on the street they rapidly discover thatmoney can be made by getting involved in theseedier side of life and that even a basic command ofmagic can earn one a pretty penny when applied tovice. They find their niche in the underbelly of thetowns and cities and do very well for themselves.

Whatever the motivation behind it the pursuit is thesame, an understanding of the forces behind lust, sexand attraction and using those forces through magicfor money, fame, power or self gratification.

So, pretty much the same reasons anyone pursuessex, only through magic rather than conventionalmeans.

The PervertsMasters of the blue arts come in all shapes and sizes,but there are a few ‘familiar faces’ that crop up timeand time again. The typical image of a blue mage isa screaming pervert who has never grown up,sneaking through houses under a cloak ofinvisibility stealing panties or crouched over acrystal ball ‘getting to grips with his staff.’ Mostblue magi more closely fit the stereotype of theamiable businessmen or the drug pusher. They knowthey have what you need and they are confident,secure and friendly so long as you do not owe themmoney.

While nowhere near as fearsome as a necromancer,the blue mage is not someone to be trifled with.Their abilities and spells give them ampleopportunity to gather blackmail material, destroyreputations and get as many favours as they mightneed.

Some blue magi specialise, offering particularservices or magic over others or honing particular

aspects of their abilities to a razor sharp edgeaccording to their interest, and it is from thesespecialisations that the prestige classes come.

The agony mage is not a horrific necromancerdedicated to the field of pain but rather a mage whoeases agony in others. Not physical agonies, butrather the agonies of love and lust. They are anadvice giver, a confidante, a healer of maritaldifficulties and a provider of magical remedies to theproblems of the bedroom. Ironically they alsohappen to be the blue mages who most oftensuccumb to the temptations of blackmail and takingadvantage of people’s confidence or weakness whenthey come to them.

The mystic pimp can be found in a city of any size,squirreled away in the slums or hawking their wareson the street corners. Without many of theoverheads of a conventional pimp or madam butwith many unique problems of their own, the mysticpimp procures his or her stable through magicalmeans including summoning, illusion or the captureof exotic creatures. Mystic pimps run the gamutfrom professional escort agencies for the city’s rich,wealthy and jaded to scabrous and starvingapprentices trying to hire out their familiars for somequick gold. Established mystic pimps are famousand wealthy without ever being talked about butoften have to deal with interlopers, either annoyedcreatures that they have misused for sexual purposesor vigilante adventurers trying to clean up thestreets.

Seduction mages are the closest thing to anorganised set of blue magi. The seduction magedoes not get lost in summonings or turn in onthemselves. Rather they go out into the world toseek what is there and take it. Honing their personalseduction skills and then boosting them with thepower of magic, there is hardly anyone the seductionmage cannot charm into their beds and they oftenfind employment as spies for the many kingdoms ofthe lands.

The peeping scryer is the blue mage who turns in onthemselves. If they can ever be persuaded away fromtheir crystal balls they are amongst the mostexperienced and powerful scryers in the world.Determined and practised, they are able to scry pastmany of the conventional protections placed in theirway and thereby still get their eyeful. Thosepeeping scryers who choose to blackmail those they


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spy on can become fabulously wealthy but loathed.Many peeping scryers are paranoid, either of beingfound out and attacked, or of being discovered whileenjoying a good peep. It is because of this they arevery security conscious, but tend to prefer traps andunthinking servants like golems over live guardswho may walk in on them.

Agony MageAgony mages see themselves as selfless assistants tomankind, offering their bountiful knowledge ofbiology and the ways of love and lust to their fellowman to ease their difficulties and bring joy andharmony between partners across the world.

In some cases this self assessment may indeed betrue, but in the vast majority of cases a blue magesetting themselves up in such a way is doing somerely to get gossip, listen to the sordid details ofother people’s sex lives and blackmail them.

Even while ripping people off for all they have theagony mage does perform a useful service for thosewho come to them, and patrons tend to develop anear fanatical loyalty to their favourite agony mage.Particularly successful ones in the larger cities mayeven find themselves given a regular article insociety newsletters or invited to balls and functionsthat would otherwise be too far above their station toattend.

The agony mage understands that there is no onewho is completely happy with the way they look,how they perform in bed or completely confident oftheir partners fidelity. If the changes and solutionsthe agony mage recommended worked well, orforever, they would do themselves out of a job butnonetheless the advice they offer can help, for awhile. No matter how many times they go to theagony mage these people will never be sure orsecure and so they always come back again for more.

Through their listening and the solutions they offerthe agony mage becomes an unequalled expert onhuman nature and understanding humanmotivations, as well as manipulating that nature andredirecting those motivations. The particularlyaccomplished agony mage can even become thepuppeteer controlling the ruling elite of a city whoall implicitly trust them and will do anything theysay.

Hit Die: d6

RequirementsRequirementsRequirementsRequirementsRequirementsTo qualify to become an agony mage a charactermust fulfil all of the following criteria.

Skills: Bluff 8 ranks, Diplomacy 8 ranks, Innuendo 8ranks, Sense Motive 8 ranks.Feats: Skill Focus (sense motive).Spellcasting: Ability to cast 3rd level arcane spells.Charisma: 12+.

Class SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsThe agony mage’s class skills (and the key abilityfor each skill) are Alchemy (Int), Bluff (Cha),Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information (Cha),Innuendo (Wis), Knowledge (romance) (Int), Listen(Wis) and Sense Motive (Wis).

Skill Points at Each Level: 4 + Int modifier.

Class FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturesesesesesAll of the following are class features of the agonymage prestige class.

Weapon and Armour Proficiency: Agony magesgain no proficiency in any weapons or armour.

Spells per Day/Spells Known: For every levelgained in the agony mage class, the character gainsnew spells per day and spells know (if applicable) asif he had also gained a level in a spellcasting classhe belonged to before adding the prestige class. Hedoes not, however, gain any other benefit a characterof that class would have gained (extra uses of thebardic music ability, metamagic or item creationfeats and so on), except for an increased effectivelevel of spellcasting. If a character had more thanone spellcasting class before becoming an agonymage, he must decide to which class he adds the newlevel for the purpose of determining spells per day(and spells known, if applicable).

Understanding (Ex): The studies of the agony magecommence by gaining a thorough and workingunderstanding of the walking paradox and bundle ofneuroses that constitute humanity. They workfeverishly at understanding why people havefetishes, what the differences between men andwomen are (besides the obvious) and anything elsethey can lay their hands on that will assist them inmanipulating people.

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The practical upshot of all this is that the agonymage gains a bonus on Bluff, Diplomacy, Innuendoand Sense Motive checks. This bonus begins at +2for a 1st level agony mage, and increases by two forevery other level he gains (+4 at 3rd level, +6 at 5th

level).

Trustworthy (Ex): Through their steadily increasingunderstanding of body language, gesture and otheraspects of human behaviour, the agony mage learnshow to make themselves trustworthy in the eyes ofothers. Unless proven to be a cheat and a liar, the

agony mage will tend to be regarded as a trustworthyand good individual by those they meet.

The initial attitude of any non-player characterencountered by the agony mage will be eitherfriendly or helpful unless they have had the agonymages dishonesty proven to them.

Confidence (Ex): With a heart to heart talk and a fewpieces of advice the agony mage is able to instilconfidence in those they talk to. Spending aminimum of fifteen minutes with someone givingthem advice and words of encouragement allows the

agony mage to confer a +2 morale bonus to allof the recipients Will saves for the next hour.

In addition, the agony mage can engage inconversation with people to try and get themto let slip a piece of personal information.Nodding and making understanding noises,the agony mage worms their way into thesubjects good books, requiring the target tomake a successful Will save (DC 10 + classlevel + Charisma modifier) to resist blurtingsomething out. How the agony mage choosesto use this information is up to them. Theinformation will always be something of apersonal nature rather than something directlyuseful to a quest (for example, ‘I like dressingup in my wife’s clothes’ is a more likelyoutburst than ‘The switch to open the secretdoor? It’s right behind that painting.’).

Unquestioned (Ex): Beginning at 3rd level, theagony mage is so good at gaining people’sconfidence and seeming like a friendly andtrustworthy individual that people will followhis advice without thinking it throughproperly. The process is the same as with theconfidence ability. The target must make asuccessful Will save (DC 10 + class level +Charisma modifier) or they will follow theadvice they are given without thought,

The Agony MageThe Agony MageThe Agony MageThe Agony MageThe Agony MageClass Base Fort. Ref. WillLevel Attack Save Save Save Special Spells per Day/Spells Known1 +0 +0 +0 +2 Understanding +1 level of existing class2 +1 +0 +0 +3 Trustworthy +1 level of existing class3 +1 +1 +1 +3 Confidence +1 level of existing class4 +2 +1 +1 +4 Unquestioned, Spell Focus +1 level of existing class5 +2 +1 +1 +4 Blameless +1 level of existing class


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provided it does not directly and immediatelythreaten life and limb. The advice must be solicitedbut need not have anything to do with the problemoriginally presented to the agony mage. They couldadvise a phobic to face their fear of spiders byventuring into the spider cave with a sword to‘battle the manifestation of their fear,’ but could notadvise someone to jump off a cliff.

Once they have followed the advice, or beenenchanted and had it wear off, the target is fullyaware of what a crock they have been sold and willprobably be extremely angry.

Spell Focus: At 4th level, the agony mage gains thebenefits of the Spell Focus feat with regard toenchantment spells, increasing the DC of savesagainst their enchantment spells by +2.

Blameless (Ex): Beginning at 5th level, the agonymage appears to be such a nice person and sotrustworthy that they could not possibly bear thosewho take them into their confidence any ill willwhatsoever.

If the agony mage is implicated in a crime (or otherillegal act), any other suspects that there may be arealways investigated first with a distinct bias in theagony mages favour. If no other suspects areimmediately apparent, there will always be adetailed investigation that will turn at least onepossibility up before the agony mage is everinvestigated. This usually allows for the agonymage time to arrange an alibi, or make a suitable exitfrom town.

Fringe BenefitsFringe BenefitsFringe BenefitsFringe BenefitsFringe BenefitsIn addition to the special abilities and bonusesgiven above, an agony mage living in a town or citycan exploit the information they glean and thepatronage of the wealthy classes to give themselvesa very nice standard of living.

Those agony mages who work at giving out honestadvice, and do not resort to blackmail orexploitation can expect to earn their Charismamodifier times their character level in gold pieceseach month, as well as the occasional gift orinvitation to a high-class event. Those unscrupulousagony mages that choose to exploit their position

can expect to make anywhere from ten times thisfigure and upwards, but they will find that thosebeing exploited make powerful enemies, woe be theagony mage blackmailer that loses his hold over thelocal nobles.

Mystic PimpThe mystic pimp has clawed themselves a living onthe streets using their magical skills to give peoplewhat they want, what they need whether they knowit or not. A taste of otherworldly pleasures, a touchof the divine or demonic or a little bit of taboo madeoh so tantalising by the warnings of worthies.

What does a Mystic Pimp have to offer?

‘Pussy, pussy, pussy! All summoned pussy must go.At the house of nymphs we’re cutting pussy in half!This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on ourvast selection of pussy! We got nymph pussy, dryadpussy, mermaid pussy, succubus pussy, erinyes pussy,elf pussy, triton pussy, halfling pussy, troll pussy,vampire pussy, ogre pussy, dwarf pussy, rakshasapussy, aranea pussy, centaur pussy, angel pussy,demon pussy, devil pussy, werewolf pussy, invisiblepussy! And if we don’t have it, we can summon it!’

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The Mystic PimpThe Mystic PimpThe Mystic PimpThe Mystic PimpThe Mystic PimpClass Base Fort. Ref. WillLevel Attack Save Save Save Special Spells per Day/Spells Known1 +0 +0 +0 +2 Streetwise +1 level of existing class2 +1 +0 +0 +3 Whatever you need +1 level of existing class3 +1 +1 +1 +3 A Fine Stable +1 level of existing class4 +2 +1 +1 +4 Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy +1 level of existing class5 +2 +1 +1 +4 Well Stocked +1 level of existing class

That sentiment goes for other generative organs aswell.

While conventional brothels can only offer the sametired and often unmotivated selection, the mysticpimp can offer far more exotic and appealing fairbound by magic or nature into wanting to do all thethings the mystic pimp’s customers could desire.

The Mystic Pimp knows the streets, knows whatpeople want and do their best to provide, for a smallremuneration of course.

Hit Die: d6

RequirRequirRequirRequirRequirementsementsementsementsementsIn order to become a mystic pimp a character mustfulfil all the following criteria.

Skills: Appraise 8 ranks, Bluff 8 ranks, Intimidate 8ranks, Sense Motive 8 ranks.Spellcasting: Ability to cast 3rd level arcane spells.Alignment: Any non-good.Special: The character must have cast at least onesuccessful summon sex partner spell of 2nd or higherlevel for someone else’s enjoyment.

Class SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsThe mystic pimp’s class skills (and the key abilityfor each skill) are Appraise (Int), Bluff (Cha),Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information (Cha),Innuendo (Wis), Knowledge (nature) (Int),Knowledge (streetwise) (Int), Knowledge (theplanes) and Sense Motive (Wis).


Class FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturesesesesesThe following are class features of the mystic pimpprestige class.

Weapon and Armour Proficiency: Mystic pimpsare proficient with all simple weapons and with lightarmour. Note that armour check penalties for armourheavier than leather apply to the skills Balance,Climb, Escape Artist, Hide, Jump, Move Silently,Pick Pocket and Tumble. Also, Swim checks suffer a-1 penalty for every 5 pounds of armour andequipment carried.

Spells per Day/Spells Known: For every levelgained in the mystic pimp class, the character gainsnew spells per day and spells know (if applicable) asif he had also gained a level in a spellcasting classhe belonged to before adding the prestige class. Hedoes not, however, gain any other benefit a characterof that class would have gained (extra uses of thebardic music ability, metamagic or item creationfeats and so on), except for an increased effectivelevel of spellcasting. If a character had more thanone spellcasting class before becoming a mysticpimp, he must decide to which class he adds the newlevel for the purpose of determining spells per day(and spells known, if applicable).

Streetwise (Ex): The mystic pimp rapidly earns adegree from the school of hard knocks, learning theirway around the streets: how to act, how to behaveand who not to mess with. This gives the mysticpimp a +2 bonus on Bluff, Gather Information,Intimidate and Sense Motive checks in a street lifesituation.

Whatever You Need (Ex): Beginning at 2nd level, amystic pimp can tell exactly what a mark wants justby looking at them. The mystic pimp makes a SenseMotive check (DC 10 + targets hit dice) and thelevel of success determines what information isgleaned. If the pimp beats the DC by 5 or less, all heis able to determine is the mark’s sexuality (straight,bi-sexual, homosexual, etc.). If the pimp beats theDC by between 6 and 10 points, he is also able todetermine the mark’s main sexual kink or fetish andif he beats the DC by 11 or more points he gains an


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insight into how to pitch an irresistible deal to themark. This grants the pimp a +2 competence bonusto any skill checks he is required to make within thenext three hours, but only for the purpose ofacquiring the mark’s custom.

This ability is invaluable in procuring a viablecustomer base for the mystic pimp’s services andenables them to make an extremely grand livingonce they have snared a few rich people or rarefiedor perverted tastes.

A Fine Stable (Ex): After a while of providing fortheir clientele with regular summonings and the oddcaptured creature, the mystic pimp begins tosupplement their magical stable with permanentemployees. Occasionally those creatures summonedwill welcome the work and offer to stay permanently.Once the mystic pimp builds up a reputation thishappens more and more frequently.

Beginning at 3rd level, the mystic pimp can begin toform a permanent selection of creatures to offer theirclientele. A mystic pimp may have no more thanthree times his level in permanent employees at anyone time. The mystic pimp can changetheir selection (by hiring new employeesand firing old ones) each time they gain alevel.

Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy: Living on the streetsis tough, very tough, even for a mysticpimp surrounded by fly honeys anddripping with gold. Upon achieving 4th

level the mystic pimp gains Alertness andEndurance as bonus feats.

Well Stocked (Sp): At this level the MysticPimp knows well the intricacies ofsummoning forth their wares for theircustomers and has become incrediblyfamiliar with the spells rites and ritualsinvolved. The mystic pimp may prepareone extra spell of each level per day,however this bonus spell must be asummoning spell that the pimp uses tosatisfy his client’s desires (such as summonsex partner). If the pimps previous classdid not prepare spells, they are instead ableto cast one extra summon sex partner spellof each level per day.

SeducerThe seducer is one of the ultimate expressions of theblue mage’s art. A true connoisseur of erotic magic,the seducer becomes an embodiment of theprinciples and power of the art. Always gorgeous orhandsome, always a religious experience betweenthe sheets, lust and love follow in their wake asthough a cadre of cupids with repeating crossbowswere camped in their backpack.

They ooze sex; they suffuse the very air with it.Every gesture, every bat of eyelid, every wave andevery smile gives off waves of sensuality.

To see a seducer is to fall in love and they will ruinyou for anyone or anything else ever after.

Hit Die: d4

RequirementsRequirementsRequirementsRequirementsRequirementsIn order to become a seducer the character must fulfilall the following criteria.


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Skills: Bluff 10 ranks, Concentration 8 ranks,Innuendo 8 ranks, Sense Motive 8 ranks.Feats: Bedroom Proficiency, Endurance.Spellcasting: Ability to cast 2nd level arcane spells.Dexterity: 14+.Charisma: 12+.

Class SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsThe seducer’s class skills (and the key ability foreach skill) are Bluff (Cha), Diplomacy (Cha), EscapeArtist (Dex), Gather Information (Cha), Innuendo(Wis), Perform (Cha), Sense Motive (Wis) and UseRope (Dex).


Class FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturClass FeaturesesesesesThe following are class features of the seducerprestige class.

Weapon and Armour Proficiency: Seducer’s gainno proficiency in any weapons or armour.

Spells per Day/Spells Known: For every levelgained in the seducer class, the character gains newspells per day and spells know (if applicable) as if hehad also gained a level in a spellcasting class hebelonged to before adding the prestige class. Hedoes not, however, gain any other benefit a characterof that class would have gained (extra uses of thebardic music ability, metamagic or item creationfeats and so on), except for an increased effectivelevel of spellcasting. If a character had more thanone spellcasting class before becoming a seducer, hemust decide to which class he adds the new level forthe purpose of determining spells per day (and spellsknown, if applicable).

Sexy (Ex): Seducer’s know how to move, speak andmake every single breath a come on. They knowcosmetics and perfumes and they know how to dressthe best way for how they look. As they specialiseand channel the energies of the plane of lust through

their bodies they also become charged witherotically aligned magical energies.

Upon choosing to become a seducer the characterimmediately gains a +2 inherent bonus to theirCharisma and the character’s appearance isenhanced, making them look the best they evercould. Additionally the character receives a +2bonus to any Charisma-based rolls againsthumanoids of an appropriate gender/persuasion thatcould find them attractive.

Shocking (Sp): Upon reaching 2nd level, a seducer isable to use their broad experience and completelyshameless nature to say something so shocking andbeyond the pale that all within earshot are stunnedand some may even faint from the sheer impropriety.

When the seducer utters the phrase everyone withinearshot, whether friend or foe, is stunned for oneround and must immediately make a Fortitude save(DC 10 + class level + Charisma modifier). Thosewho fail fall to the floor in a dead faint and areconsidered to be helpless until they are revived.

This is a spell-like ability for the seducer and can beused once per day, plus an additional use per day forevery two levels the seducer has attained above 1st

(1/day at 1st level, 2/day at 3rd level and 3/day at 5th

level).

Caution To The Wind (Su): The attractive power ofthe seducer is so strong that women forget theirhusbands, kings forget their queens and clericsforget their gods. If a seducer sets their sights onsomeone they can almost always get them regardlessof age, preference or vow. The only thing that willstand in their way is physical incapacity or death.

Given sufficient time the seducer should be allowedto seduce anyone. The subject of the seducersattentions must make a Will save (DC 10 + seducerslevel + Charisma modifier) every hour that they are

The SeducerThe SeducerThe SeducerThe SeducerThe SeducerClass Base Fort. Ref. WillLevel Attack Save Save Save Special Spells per Day/Spells Known1 +0 +0 +0 +2 Sexy +1 level of existing class2 +1 +0 +0 +3 Shocking +1 level of existing class3 +1 +1 +1 +3 Caution to the Wind +1 level of existing class4 +2 +1 +1 +4 All You can Think About +1 level of existing class5 +2 +1 +1 +4 Slave to the Suave +1 level of existing class


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in contact with the seducer. The DC of the savetemporarily increases by +1 for each consecutivehour that the target is in contact with the seducer,and permanently increases by +1 for each day thatthe seducer focuses their attentions on the target.The Games Master may assign the target a bonus totheir Will save depending on mitigating factors suchas faith, marriage or being truly in love withsomebody else. This ability is useless against truelove that is felt and expressed by both parties in arelationship, granting both parties immunity to theseducer’s advances. This is a supernatural ability fora seducer.

All You Can Think About (Su): Even so little as aglimpse of a seducer can be enough for someone tolose their heart, especially if the seducer consciouslyexerts their power to make someone obsess overthem.

Activating this ability takes no more than a quickglance across a crowded room after which the targetmust make a Will save (DC of 10 + seducers level +Charisma modifier) or be unable to think ofanything except the seducer. The image of theseducer will haunt their every waking moment andvisit them in their dreams for one week per pointthey failed their save by.

Should the seducer attempt to seduce them, or usemagic to enrapture or otherwise mislead them withinthis period, they receive a -5 penalty to the Will savemade to resist the seduction or spell.

Slave To The Suave (Su): Once you have tasted aseducer you never go back. Their touch is addictive.Once a seducer has successfully seduced a targetthey can spend a number of experience points equalto the subject’s hit dice times 100 to make them theirenslaved love monkey.

The target is permanently affected as though by acharm person spell.


The Peeping ScryerThe Peeping ScryerThe Peeping ScryerThe Peeping ScryerThe Peeping ScryerClass Base Fort. Ref. WillLevel Attack Save Save Save Special Spells per Day/Spells Known1 +0 +0 +0 +2 Sense +1 level of existing class2 +1 +0 +0 +3 Overcome +1 level of existing class3 +1 +1 +1 +3 +1 level of existing class4 +2 +1 +1 +4 Never Forget an Arse +1 level of existing class5 +2 +1 +1 +4 Still Spell +1 level of existing class

Peeping ScryerThe peeping scryer whiles away their time watching,pausing only when absolutely necessary. They donot care much about personal hygiene and theirsocial skills are very often completely retarded bythe amount of time they spend seeing beyond andplaying with their (crystal) balls. None are soaccomplished in the art of scrying as these magesand they allow nothing to get in the way of theirspying eyes, be it magical wards around the femaledormitory of the magical college or the power of thegods protecting the school for wayward halflings.

Peeping scryers are a menace but few will even knowthey are scryed upon, watched through the hours bythe creepy little mages, every aspect of their livesfaithfully noted and recorded and every mole ontheir buttocks mapped out with the diligence andcare of an astrologer mapping the stars.

Hit Die: d4.

RequirementsRequirementsRequirementsRequirementsRequirementsIn order to become a peeping scryer the charactermust fulfil all the following criteria.

Skills: Concentration 8 ranks, Gather Information 5ranks, Listen 3 ranks, Scry 10 ranks, Spot 3 ranks.Feats: Skill Focus (Scry) and Extend Spell.Spellcasting: Ability to cast 3rd level arcane spells.

Class SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsClass SkillsThe peeping scryer’s class skills (and the key abilityfor each skill) are Concentration (Con), GatherInformation (Cha), Listen (Wis), Scry (Int) and Spot(Wis).


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Class FeaturesClass FeaturesClass FeaturesClass FeaturesClass FeaturesThe following are features of the peeping scryerprestige class.

Weapon and Armour Proficiency: Peeping Scryer’sgain no proficiency in any weapons or armour.

Spells per Day/Spells Known: For every levelgained in the peeping scryer class, the charactergains new spells per day and spells know (ifapplicable) as if he had also gained a level in aspellcasting class he belonged to before adding theprestige class. He does not, however, gain any otherbenefit a character of that class would have gained(extra uses of the bardic music ability, metamagic oritem creation feats and so on), except for anincreased effective level of spellcasting. If acharacter had more than one spellcasting classbefore becoming a scryer, he must decide to which

class he adds the new level for the purpose ofdetermining spells per day (and spells known, ifapplicable).

Sense (Ex): Honed to a keen edge by squinting intocrystal balls, mirrors and bowls of water in order totry and get a better peep at the jiggling fun showthat is the local hot springs, the peeping scryer isused to focusing their senses and concentrating inorder to pick up extra details of anything they arelooking at. This translates into a +2 bonus to allSearch skills checks for each level the scryerachieves.

Overcome (Su): The peeping scryer is strong willedand determined, refusing to let any barrier standbetween them and what they want to peep at.Beginning at 2nd level, the scryer is able to overcomemagical effects that would otherwise cloud or altertheir scrying attempts, seeing through them as if

they were not in place.

A peeping scryer is able to bypass,without disrupting the effect oralerting those under its protection tohis scrying, any spell designed toprevent or mislead scrying if its casterslevel is less than the scryers characterlevel. Thus, a 10th level diviner/3rd

level peeping scryer could bypass anyeffect created by a spellcaster of 12th

level or lower.

Never Forget An Arse (Ex): If apeeping scryer has observed anyonevia magical means such as scryingthey will always know that person ifthey see them again, whether in personor via scrying. No roll is required andno magical or mundane disguise willprotect the person from beingidentified as long as the scryer can seethem (for example, the target of aninvisibility spell is immune to thisability).

Still Spell (Ex): From a great deal ofpractice the peeping scryer has learnedto cast spells without using theirhands. Beginning at 5th level, allspells cast by a scryer gain the benefitsof the Still Spell feat, without theusual increase in spell level.


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SKILLS & FEATS

Skills &Feats

Everyone likes to think that they havesomething they are particularly good at in thebedroom department, even something like

bouncing the highest or always getting the topbunk. There are some skills and feats that take onnew meaning when considered in a sexual contextand the implications of those are addressed here.

Naughty SkillsSeveral skills contained within Core Rulebook Ihave new uses in the adult arena and need newsystems and guidelines to be put in place aroundthem, from the use of Alchemy to make cures, salvesand delousers to new types of performance forenterprising characters.

AlchemyAlchemyAlchemyAlchemyAlchemyThose in search of a way to turn lead into gold arenot the only practitioners of the science of alchemy.On alchemist’s tables and apothecaries across theworld charlatans, has-beens and the odd genuinegenius seek ways to make money by promisingpeople better lives and invertebrate free pubes.

In addition to the products contained within CoreRulebook I, an alchemist can make the followingconcoctions: Sensitivity crème, lubricant jelly,extra-strong delouser, orcish fly and hot flush.

Sensitivity crème, when rubbed into a body partincreases the sensitivity of the nerve endings. Ifrubbed into the fingertips you gain a +1 bonus onany non-combat task related to dexterity. If used forits intended purpose the crème leads to enhancedpleasure, lots of giggling and messier sheets thannormal. Creating the crème requires a successfulAlchemy check (DC 20) and costs 1gp per dose. Theeffects of a dose of sensitivity crème last for 15minutes, and each dose typically goes for around5gp on the open market.

Lubricant jelly, when used for its conventionalpurpose allows easier access to ‘parts unknown’ butit can also be smeared around small openings or onbonds, giving a +1 bonus to Escape Artist checks.Creating a dose of lubricant jelly requires asuccessful Alchemy check (DC 15) and costs 1gp.

Each does typically fetches 4gp on the open market,and the jelly is normally sold in batches of three for10gp.

Extra-strong delouser, when dusted onto the hairyparts of the anatomy instantly kills anybloodsucking arthropods attached thereto. Ifingested it causes stomach cramps and vomitingunless the character makes a successful Fortitudesave (DC 15). If a vermin of Medium-size or smalleringests it they die instantly unless they succeed at aFortitude save (DC 25). Creation of each dose ofthis foul-smelling powder requires a successfulAlchemy Check (DC 20) and costs 5gp. A singledose of this powder usually fetches around 10gp onthe open market, although it never sells well unlessthere is a sudden epidemic of parasites.

Orcish fly is a powerful aphrodisiac concocted fromvarious strange ingredients. It was noted that orcsrarely suffered from erectile dysfunction and werealways willing and able to mate with species nottheir own, as has been evidenced by the largenumber of half-orcs scattered about the world.Orcish fly attempts to induce the same carefreecapability exhibited by orcs in those who use it. Ifrubbed onto an area of flesh, this vaporeous liquidcauses blood to rush to the surface causing swellingand increased sensitivity. If imbibed it causes a mildfever. Creation of a dose of orcish fly requires asuccessful Alchemy Check (DC 20) and costs 10gpdue to the obscurity of the reagents. A single dose ofthis potent liquid can usually fetch as much as 20gpon the open market.

Hot flush is a prank concoction often poured intothe drinks of unsuspecting women. Within minutesof consumption, the imbiber will get very warm,flushed and sweaty, possibly needing to strip off alittle in order to get cool unless they make asuccessful Fortitude save (DC 15). Creating a doseof hot flush requires a successful Alchemy check(DC 10) and costs 5sp. Although it is not usuallyfound on the open market, being more of aconcoction that a prankster would use against afellow student than a useful one, a dose can stillfetch around 1gp from those with the intention touse it.

ConcentrationConcentrationConcentrationConcentrationConcentrationBeing hurt or damaged is not the only thing that canprevent a mage from casting spells and casting spellsin difficult situations is not the only reason to

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knows how to please any partner between the sheets,on the dresser or hanging out of the window.

Benefit: You gain a +2 bonus to Bluff,Concentration, Diplomacy, Gather information,Innuendo and Sense Motive checks that make use ofyou bed hopping or pleasing someone with yoursexual talents.

Normal: Someone who does not have this feat canstill perform well enough sexually but is at best agifted or enthusiastic amateur, whereas someonewith this feat is a consummate professional.

Endurance (General)Endurance (General)Endurance (General)Endurance (General)Endurance (General)In addition to its normal uses, the Endurance featadds its bonus to the Concentration roll made to‘prolong the inevitable’ and the Fortitude save madeto recover for a second bout (DC 15 + 5 per previousperformance).

Note: This feat is described fully in Core Rulebook I.

HorHorHorHorHorn Dog (General)n Dog (General)n Dog (General)n Dog (General)n Dog (General)You are a ‘real goer’ and those whom you pleasurealways remember the experience fondly.

Prerequisites:Bedroom Proficiency,

Endurance.

Benefit: You gain a +2 bonusto skill checks when dealingwith someone you have beenintimate with within the lastmonth.

Sensual Magic (General)Sensual Magic (General)Sensual Magic (General)Sensual Magic (General)Sensual Magic (General)Your magic is charged with thesensual energies of the plane oflust.

Prerequisites: Charisma12+.

Benefit: You may chooseto use your Charismainstead of yourIntelligence whendetermining the saveDC of your spells.

SKILLS & FEATS

concentrate. Those with this skill can use it to staveoff orgasm by counting, thinking about theinevitable death of the universe or last night’s orcishraid scores. The DC for doing so starts at 10 andrises by five for each minute of prolonged activity.

In addition to those listed in Core Rulebook I,casting spells is difficult in the followingcircumstances…

DC Distraction20 + spell level Engaged in intercourse.15 + spell level Receiving oral attention.15 + spell level Giving oral attention (unable to

cast spells with verbalcomponents).

10 + spell level Receiving a lap dance.+ skill check5 + spell level Facing an attractive and naked+ opponents opponent in battle.Charisma modifier10 Needing to adjust one’s tackle.

PerPerPerPerPerforforforforformmmmmThe types of performance mentioned in CoreRulebook I do not delve into the various wondersthat the twilight worldof the streets has tooffer.

Some additional typesof performance suitedto an adult artistinclude bawdy songs,fellatio, glamour modelling, lapdance, mud wrestling, oilwrestling, pole dance, soliciting,strip-o-gram and striptease.

CunningFeats

Some feats also gain newmeaning when applied to sexualenterprises and some new feats arerequired to reflect the expertise andspecial abilities of those who devotethemselves to the pursuit of nookie.

BedrBedrBedrBedrBedroom Proom Proom Proom Proom Proficiency (General)oficiency (General)oficiency (General)oficiency (General)oficiency (General)Someone with this feat is especiallyproficient in the bedroom department and

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OBJECTS OF DESIRE

Objects ofDesire

Throughout the world dragons guard theirhoards and evil warlocks gather their artefactsin the deepest darkest dungeons. Magical

items abound but not all of them are geared towardsdestruction and the acquisition of other artefacts.Fighting is not the only physical activity that canbenefit from a little magical boost now and then, andboth blue and conventional mages down the ageshave used their abilities to create artefacts of a morelewd kind. Various fascinating, good, evil, straight,kinky, cursed and beneficial items have made theirway into circulation.

Here then is a list of some of the more notoriousthings, widgets and doodads that enterprisingadventurers might well mistake for the more usualengines of destruction.

ArmourNew ArNew ArNew ArNew ArNew Armour Enhancement: Flatteringmour Enhancement: Flatteringmour Enhancement: Flatteringmour Enhancement: Flatteringmour Enhancement: FlatteringThe armour is shaped and altered, tempered anddecorated in such a way that, along with its magicalenhancement to AC, it is as flattering as it couldpossibly be to the wearer. The armour might notcover quite as much of the body as armour of its typenormally would but provides no less protection,however much cleavage or rippling biceps is onshow.

The wearer of this armour gains a +2 bonus on anyCharisma based checks.

Caster Level: 5th; Prerequisites: Craft Magic Armsand Armour, charm person; Market Price: +2 bonus.

WeaponsPop up PorksworPop up PorksworPop up PorksworPop up PorksworPop up PorkswordddddResembling a club, the pop up porksword isactivated by hitting a catch on the handle, at whichpoint a 12-inch section springs out of the end andwobbles back and forth like a reasonably firmknockwurst. The porksword acts as a +1 club withthe additional effect that anyone hit with it isaffected by the spell power word, orgasm.

Caster Level:13th; Prerequisites: Craft MagicalArms/Armour, power word orgasm; Market Price:184,300 gp.

PotionsDutch CourageDutch CourageDutch CourageDutch CourageDutch CourageThis potion has a rich golden colour, a foamy headand a bitter taste. When imbibed this magical brewinstils the drinker with confidence, enabling them tomuster the courage to do things they would notnormally do. The drinker gains a +1 bonus to theirWill saves and any skill checks made to impress orseduce someone for a period of one hour.

Caster Level: 1st; Prerequisites: Brew Potion,resistance; Market Price: 50 gp.

Potion of LustPotion of LustPotion of LustPotion of LustPotion of LustThis effervescent and luridly pink potion comes insmall vials that are easily concealed in sleeves orbracelets. It tastes of a mix of strawberries andoysters and fizzes on the tongue when drunk neat,although it is tasteless when mixed into anotherliquid.

Once drunk, the imbiber becomes overwhelmed withwaves of lust unless they make a successful Willsave (DC 14). If they fail they must jump the firstthing that even remotely fits their idea of anacceptable mate, usually the one who slipped it tothem.

Caster Level: 4th; Prerequisites: Brew Potion,pheromone enhancer; Market Price: 300 gp.

Potion of PerPotion of PerPotion of PerPotion of PerPotion of PerforforforforformancemancemancemancemanceMisrepresented by charlatans and sought after bymany, getting a genuine potion that assists sexualperformance is night on impossible, not to mentionexpensive since mages know people will paythrough the nose for such a libation.

When a potion of performance is drunk, the imbibergains the benefits of onestrum’s personal fluidicenhancer and the Bedroom Proficiency andEndurance feats. This effect lasts two hours.

Caster Level: 3rd, Prerequisites: Brew Potion,onestrum’s personal fluidic enhancer; Market Price:300 gp.

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Cock RingsLak Wang, a blue mage and expert crafter of magicalrings, hit upon the idea of the magic cock ring whenhe passed by adventurers bemoaning that that didnot have enough fingers to wear all of theirmagically enhancing trinkets. Missing the exactgist of what they were talking about, Lak Wanghurried to his forge and began churning out sexuallyaiding magic cock rings.

Ring of QuantityRing of QuantityRing of QuantityRing of QuantityRing of QuantityThis ring affects the user with a constant onestrum’spersonal fluidic enhancer spell, allowing for somevery messy yet fulfilling encounters.

Caster Level: 5th; Prerequisites: Forge Ring,onestrum’s personal fluidic enhancer; Market Price:500 gp.

Ring of GirRing of GirRing of GirRing of GirRing of GirthththththThis ring doubles the length and thickness of themember it is placed upon.

Caster Level: 5th; Prerequisites: Forge Ring,enlarge; Market Price: 500 gp.

Ring of PenetrationRing of PenetrationRing of PenetrationRing of PenetrationRing of PenetrationThis makes the wearer’s member slippery as thoughit was under the effect of a constant baykdoyr’sultimate lubrication spell.

Caster Level: 5th; Prerequisites: Forge Ring,baykdoyr’s ultimate lubrication; Market Price: 500gp.

Wondrous ItemsBag of FondlingBag of FondlingBag of FondlingBag of FondlingBag of FondlingThis ruddy coloured bag is about the size of a beltpouch, warm, slightly resilient to the touch andsquishy like wet clay. The bag has three uses: firstly,it can be fondled and squeezed constantly in one’soff hand providing a +1 bonus to Will saves againstfear effects. Secondly, the bag can be opened andany body part held within it will be gently fondledand massaged. Finally, if cuddled up to overnightthe comforting warmth and massaging action of thebag allows the owner to regain 1 extra hit point froma full night’s rest.

Caster level: 3rd; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, unseen servant; Market Price: 150 goldpieces; Weight: 1 lb.

Balls of VBalls of VBalls of VBalls of VBalls of VoyeurismoyeurismoyeurismoyeurismoyeurismThese twin crystal orbs of pink marble flecked withstreaks of dark mineral are joined together andflattened on the bottom. They act as a crystal ballwith a few important differences. Firstly, the ballsproduce their image floating in the space abovethem, glowing as they do so. The balls of voyeurismcan also cast the following spells on the scene beingscryed upon once per day: Bernadette’s illusorynakedness, change orientation and speedy undress.

Balls of voyeurism are jealously guarded by thosewho own them and are rarely available for sale.

Caster Level: 10th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, bernadette’s illusory nakedness, changeorientation, scrying, speedy undress; Weight: 10lbs.; Market Price: 81,000gp.

CarCarCarCarCarved Monkey of Spankingved Monkey of Spankingved Monkey of Spankingved Monkey of Spankingved Monkey of SpankingA tiny statuette carved in the shape of a monkeywho looks guilty, as if he has done something verynaughty. The statuette is about an inch high andcarved of bright red stone. When the command wordis spoken, the statue grows to a foot in height andintones ‘I have been a very bad monkey, spank me.’

If then suitably physically chastised, the carvedmonkey of spanking shrinks back to its original sizeand renders the user immune to any spells or effectsrelated to sex for 24 hours, as well as any sexualtension or desire they might otherwise be feeling.

Caster Level: 11th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, animate object; Market Price: 12,000 goldpieces; Weight: —.

Chastity BeltsChastity BeltsChastity BeltsChastity BeltsChastity BeltsMagical chastity belts are extremely popular and usea variety of methods to prevent the male or femalewearer from engaging in lewd activities with thosethey should not. One thing all have in common isthat they cannot easily be removed, though theymay have many different appearances. Someresemble belly chains, piercings or crotchlesspanties. Others are invisible and set as traps againstany so foolish as to take advantage of the wearer.The person who placed the belt upon the wearer(usually the wearer themselves) is freely able to

OBJECTS OF DESIRE

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OBJECTS OF DESIRE

remove the belt without triggering any of the spelleffects.

Basic Magical Chastity Belt: The basic chastitybelt is sealed using an arcane lock spell to prevent itfrom being taken off easily.

Caster Level: 15th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, arcane lock; Market Price: 2,400 gp; Weight: 1lb.

Alarmed Chastity Belt: In addition to the arcanelock feature of the basic belt, an alarmed chastitybelt alerts the person who fitted it to the wearerwhenever someone attempts to bypass or remove thebelt.

Caster Level: 15th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, alarm, arcane lock; Market Price: 2,700 gp;Weight: 1 lb.

Cured Chastity Belt: In addition to the arcane lockfeature of the basic belt, a cursed chastity beltinflicts the interloper with a bestow curse spell. Thecurse can take any of the forms normally available toa caster of the spell, decided at the time of the itemscreation.

Caster Level: 15th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, arcane lock, bestow curse; Market Price:24,800 gp; Weight: 1 lb.

Toasting Chastity Belt: In addition to the arcanelock feature of the basic belt, a toasting chastity beltemanates a burning hands spell (5d4 points ofdamage) directly into the interloper’s crotch. Thisspell does not harm the wearer in any way, howeverit can be reasonably assured that the target of theeffect won’t be too healthy, and certainly won’t beinterested in continuing their previous activities.

Caster Level: 15th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, arcane lock, burning hands; Market Price:6,400 gp; Weight: 1 lb.

Droopy Chastity Belt: In addition to the arcanelock feature of the basic belt, a droopy chastity beltafflicts the interlopers ‘prize jewels’ with somethingresembling the horrid wilting spell. This causes thetarget’s member to shrivel up and become useless,causing 15d8 points of damage to the creature fromthe excruciating experience.

Caster Level: 15th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, arcane lock, horrid wilting; Market Price:98,400 gp; Weight: 1 lb.

Guardian Chastity Belt: In addition to the arcanelock feature of the basic belt, a guardian chastitybelt summons a ‘guardian’ whenever someoneattempts to have their way with the wearer. Thesummoned creature appears with a loud ‘ahem!’ andthen proceeds to tear the interloper limb from limb.

Caster Level: 15th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, arcane lock, summon monster I-IX; MarketPrice: I – 3,200 gp, II – 7,200 gp, III – 14,400 gp, IV– 24,800 gp, V – 38,400 gp, VI – 55,200 gp, VII –75,200 gp, VIII – 98,400 gp, IX – 124,800 gp;Weight: 1 lb.

Dayn’Dayn’Dayn’Dayn’Dayn’s Instant Whors Instant Whors Instant Whors Instant Whors Instant WhorehouseehouseehouseehouseehouseThis wooden cube is small when inert, but whenactivated it forms a small bawdyhouse 40 ft. squareand 10 ft. high with little booths for privacy, an atticroom and a warm hearth. The building shootswooden piles into the ground to root it to the spot,preventing it from being overturned or pushedalong. Only the owner of the house can enter orleave at will, along with any guests they might havewith them. The whorehouse has a small woodendoor with a slat to peer out of which cannot beopened without the owner’s permission, even with aknock spell. The walls have 50 hit points and ahardness of 10. The house cannot be repaired saveby Wish or Miracle spell, each of which restores 25points of damage.

The house springs up in one round and contains anogre bouncer and 2d4 random ‘hosts/hostesses’(owner’s preference) from the following table. Theyare always glad to see anyone entering thewhorehouse, and there is no charge for ‘servicesrendered’.

D10 Roll Host/Hostess1 Satyr or dryad2 Triton or mermaid (in pool)3 Nymph4 Erinyes5 Succubus or Incubus6 Human7 Elf8 Dwarf9 Halfling10 Gnome

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Anyone caught in the area of the whorehouse as itexpands is shoved violently to the side, taking 5d10damage unless they make a successful Reflex save(DC 19). The whorehouse can be activated ordeactivated once per day.

Caster Level: 12th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, mordykenen’s wonderful brothel, summon sexpartner I; Market Price: 98,000 gp.

HosierHosierHosierHosierHosiery of Lacinessy of Lacinessy of Lacinessy of Lacinessy of LacinessSlinky and sexy, made of the finest lace and as sheeras a fairy’s wing, the hosiery of laciness arepowerless unless the wearer is wearing nothing overthem. The hosiery of laciness were traditionallyblack, but sets have been made in colours rangingfrom red to purple and even white.

The hosiery provide all the protection of a normalset of clothes, as well as the effects of an endureelements (cold) spell. They are extremely revealing,enhancing the wearer’s figure with the effects of thealter breasts, fascinating cleavage/package,hypnotic rump and pheromone enhancer spells.

Caster Level: 5th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, alter breasts, endure elements, fascinatingcleavage/package, hypnotic rump, pheromoneenhancer; Market Value: 8,500 gp.

Inflatable FriendInflatable FriendInflatable FriendInflatable FriendInflatable FriendMany adventurers find themselves alone in hostilewilderness and in desperate need of comfort, beingheld, or getting their rocks off for the last time intheir miserable lives before a dire bear eats them,their tent and their campfire in one chomp.

This is where the inflatable friend comes in.Invented by an enterprising pair of blue magi in thecity of Skeldermere and subsequently practicallyforced on any wealthy adventurer that wanders by,the inflatable friend has now found a niche in thesurvival kits of many adventurers. Imitations arebeginning to appear further away but the bestmodels are still to be found in Skeldermere.

The inflatable friend consists of a 4 inch by 4 inchpiece of rubbery pink material with a small tubeprotruding from the top. The magic of the inflatablefriend is activated by blowing gently into the tube,and can be used once per day. After 50 uses themagic of the inflatable friend is completely spent,and the item is rendered non-magical, appearing as a

roughly humanoid pink balloon when fully inflated(which requires 10 full minutes without magicalassistance).

The inflatable friend appears as a lovely companionof any humanoid race, ready and willing to doanything and capable of holding intelligentconversations. To anyone except the user of theitem, it appears a simple pink balloon with a roughlyhumanoid shape.

Caster Level: 9th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, illusory harem; Market Price: 9,000 gp;Weight: ½ lb.

Jockstrap of ImprJockstrap of ImprJockstrap of ImprJockstrap of ImprJockstrap of Impressive Lunchboxessive Lunchboxessive Lunchboxessive Lunchboxessive LunchboxA gnome contraption worn under hosiery, thisdevice is affixed with leather straps and consists ofvarious working cogs, levers and gears around amagical gem. Upon approaching a female biped, thegem probes their mind and ascertains exactly whatsize ‘package’ appeals to them and either expands orcontracts depending on the reading made. Thisgrants the male wearer a +2 bonus to skill checksmade to seduce or impress the target.

The jockstrap can be switched on or off with asimple command word, and it is wise to switch it offbefore encountering pixies or other Tiny creatures.

Caster Level: 3rd; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, dirk’s impressive tool; Market Price: 1,800 gp;Weight: 1 lb.

Sexy SheetsSexy SheetsSexy SheetsSexy SheetsSexy SheetsNobody wants to go out on the pull around thetaverns at night and roll back roaring drunk havingscored, only to wake up in the morning with aheadache and lying next to something that lookslike it crawled out of a troll’s arse.

This is a problem no more thanks to the sexy sheets.These double-layered satin sheets are self-cleaningand automatically cast instant love nest and majorimage 1/day when placed on a bed, to providesuitable surroundings for your nocturnal activities,as well as cover any hideous troglodyte you mighthave brought home with an illusion of loveliness.

Caster Level: 6th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, instant love nest, major image; Market Price:17,200 gp.

OBJECTS OF DESIRE

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VVVVVestments of Testments of Testments of Testments of Testments of Transexuality (Drransexuality (Drransexuality (Drransexuality (Drransexuality (Dress ofess ofess ofess ofess ofCrCrCrCrCrossing)ossing)ossing)ossing)ossing)Even the most expert of cross-dressers occasionallyends up looking like a ‘bloke in a dress’ or hasboobs so fulsome and so round that no amount offake beard is going to fool anyone.

The vestments of transexuality have the effect of achange sex spell while worn.

Caster Level: 10th; Prerequisites: Craft WondrousItem, change sex; Market Value: 30,000 gp.

Minor ArtefactsEye of UndrEye of UndrEye of UndrEye of UndrEye of UndressingessingessingessingessingRadavan Of The Ogling Eye’s reign of stripteaseterror finally came to an end when templar acting onthe behalf of the bishop broke into his hovel anddragged him back into town. In punishmentRadavan had his eyes put out so he could never ogleanyone again. He died soon after, his chief reasonfor living having been taken from him.

Some time later, mistaking one of the eyes for a morepowerful artefact, a foolhardy adventurer exploringthe bishop’s personal vault put out one of his eyesand replaced it with the artefact. To his horror hediscovered he had gained none of the powers heexpected, and crying out in anguish turned to hisbuxom ranger companion to complain, then stoppedcold. She was entirely naked! After asking why shehad stripped and having taken a severe beating for ithe realised the truth, the eye was allowing him to seeeveryone naked, as much of a curse as a blessing asyou have to take the rough with the smooth.

Both eyes are currently without owners and aresomewhere out in the world. To use the eye onemust put out their own eye, losing 1d6 hit pointsand one point of charisma permanently. Then theeye of undressing must be placed into the socket,where it knits itself to the flesh. After this the eyecannot be removed without the loss of another 1d6permanent hit points.

The eye confers the following abilities upon its user,all cast as if by a 15th level wizard.

Bernadette’s illusory nakedness – Constant.Speedy undress – 5/day.Irresistible dance (striptease) – 1/day.

Caster Level: 15th; Weight: —.

Manual of LurManual of LurManual of LurManual of LurManual of LurveveveveveThis heavily thumbed manual was originallycommissioned by the Caliph of Pichii-Kyyn, anoasis city deep in the southern desert. The city waspeaceful, rich, powerful and the people were happywith the rule of the Caliph. This, combined with hisradical practice of not making an evil bastard hisgrand vizier, left the Caliph with little to do with histime but spend it pleasurably in his ten-storeyseraglio with his concubines and wives.

After about a decade this grew tiring and havingalready worked his way through several volumes oferotic lore he sent his scouts out into the world toseek new positions, games and tricks for him to tryout.

One by one the scouts returned, though nonebrought back anything the Caliph had not alreadydone or considered. Finally the last scout, longthought dead, returned barely alive and clutching inhis hands the notes that would form this manual. Ahale and hearty man of twenty-two years when heleft, he returned looking eighty and infected withevery venereal disease known to man. His sacrificeenabled the Caliph to enjoy a further ten years ofmarital bliss and a statue was erected in the scout’shonour bearing the legend ‘check the hole beforeyou put anything in it’.

The manual of lurve takes 48 hours to read over aminimum of six days. Once completed the readergains the Bedroom Proficiency and Endurance featsas well as a +2 inherent bonus to Dexterity andConstitution. A character can only benefit from thismanual once.

Caster Level: 17th; Weight: 5 lb.

OBJECTS OF DESIRE

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Creaturesof Lust

A pretty face or an offer of sex has been thedownfall of many a hero – not all of thehazards lust presents are confined to

footpads waiting in an alley for you and the saucyharlot you just picked up to come stumbling downover the rubbish.

There are monsters that lure using sex, monsters thatpropagate themselves in symbiosis with sex andmonsters that are just rude sounding and suggestive.Here then is but a small selection to terrorise andtitillate.

BearBearBearBearBearded Clamded Clamded Clamded Clamded ClamSmall VerminHit Dice: 2d8 +2 (10 hp)Initiative: +2 (Dex)Speed: 0 ft.AC: 19 (+1 size, +2 Dex, +6 natural)Attacks: 1 passive ‘mantrap’ attack +1.Damage: 1d6Face/Reach: 2 ft. by 2ft./2 ft.Special Attacks: Improved grab and take money.Special Qualities: Blindsight.Saves: Fortitude +2, Reflex +0, Willpower +1.Abilities: Str 10, Dex 14, Con 12 Int -, Wis 12, Cha2.Skills: Hide +7, Listen +7, Spot +8.Feats: Alertness.Climate/Terrain: Aquatic (shallow waters, fresh orsalt).Organisation: Solitary.Challenge Rating: 1/2Treasure: Double coins only.Alignment: Always neutral.Advancement: 3-4 HD (medium size), 5-8 HD (largesize).

Large circular shellfish, the bearded clams lie in siltor loose sand of the ocean floor, sifting water fornutrients and feeling around with the tentacles oftheir beard-like fringe for movement. When theysense a creature walking through the water theyopen up and lay out their ‘beard,’ waiting for it totread near. When they do the clam slams shutaround their leg with a snap and rifles their pocketsfor coins with a tentacle. The clam keeps hold untilthe poor person has lost all their money to the

surrounding waters, then releases them, usually witha crushed foot.

The clam steals the money to lay as bait around itsposition as fish are attracted to the coins as theyglitter in the sun.

Bearded clams are a prized gourmet food and areconsidered to be an aphrodisiac; they have adelicate flavour with a slight ‘electric zing’ to thetaste. One clam in ten contains a pearl worth 10d10gp and requires a Search check (DC 20) to find.

CombatCombatCombatCombatCombatThe clam is not a malicious or intelligent creature itoperates purely by reflex.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the clam is successful in itsfirst attack it clamps hold of the victims leg and doesautomatic damage each round until it has eithertaken all of their money or been killed.

Take Money (Ex): Once the clam has hold ofsomeone it scatters 1d20 coins every turn.

Blindsight (Ex): The clam senses by vibration andscent in the water. It is unaffected by spells andattacks that affect conventional sight and gets nopenalty for operating in darkness.

Colossal Gay AlColossal Gay AlColossal Gay AlColossal Gay AlColossal Gay AlColossal BeastHit Dice: 50d10 + 400 (675 hp)Initiative: +1 (Dex)Speed: 40 ft.AC: 21 (+1 dex, -4 size, +14 natural)Attacks: Bite +41Damage: Bite 5d12 +17Face/Reach: 40 ft. by 40 ft./60 ft.Special Attacks: Improved grab, swallow whole, bereally camp.Special Qualities: Scent.Saves: Fortitude +19, Reflex +12, Willpower +8.Abilities: Str 44, Dex 12, Con 27, Int 4, Wis 15, Cha10.Skills: Listen +11, Spot +11, Perform (sing) +11.

Climate/Terrain: Warm forest, hill, plains andmarsh.Organisation: Unique.Challenge Rating: 18Treasure: None.Alignment: Chaotic neutral.

CREATURES OF LUST

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CREATURES OF LUST

Colossal Gay Al is an allosaur, an enormous dinosaurnot unlike a tyrannosaur. He is brightly coloured,possessed of a rudimentary intelligence, a goodsinging voice and a demeanour as camp as an all-nations scout jamboree.

Dwarfing buildings, Colossal Gay Al travels theworld talking in a high pitched voice, rolling hiseyes, drinking enormous cocktails, singing showtunes, flapping ineffectually with his tiny limpdinosaur hands and devouring communities wholewhen he is hungry, complaining afterwards that itwill go straight to his hips.

CombatCombatCombatCombatCombatColossal Gay Al is disinclined to engage in combatsave when hungry, criticised or attacked. Ultimatelyall Colossal Gay Al really wants is a loving partnerto spend his life with.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, ColossalGay Al must hit a Huge or smaller opponent with hisbite attack. If he gets a hold he can try to swallowthem whole.

Swallow Whole (Ex): Besides making him populardown at the blue lagoon club back in the jurassicera, this ability also has a useful combat application.Once he has grabbed an opponent Al can swallowthem by making a grapple check. If successful, theswallowed opponent takes 2d8+8 points of crushingdamage plus 8 points of acid damage each round. Aswallowed creature can attempt to cut their way outwith a slashing weapon, needing to cause 75 pointsof damage in order to do so (AC 20).

Be Really Camp (Su): By spending a full turnflouncing, saying catchphrases or being an overdramatic queen, Al can lull his enemies into a falsesense of security. They must make a Will save (DC15) or be unable to attack Al until he attacks them.

CrCrCrCrCreamy Oozeeamy Oozeeamy Oozeeamy Oozeeamy OozeMedium-size OozeHit Dice: 3d10 + 10 (26 hp)Initiative: -5 (Dex)Speed: 10 ft.AC: 5 (-5 Dex)Attacks: Slam +3 meleeDamage: Slam 1d6+1Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft./5 ft.Special Attacks: Improved grab, constrict (1d6+1plus acid).

Special Qualities: Blindsight, cold and fireimmunity, ooze, camouflage, spurt.Saves: Fortitude +1, Reflex -3, Willpower -4.Abilities: Str 12, Dex 3, Con 11, Int —, Wis 1, Cha 1.

Climate/Terrain: Urban, usually near brothels,seraglios or flophouses.Organisation: Solitary.Challenge Rating: 4Treasure: None.Alignment: Always neutral.Advancement: 4-6 HD (medium size); 7-9 HD(large).

Found in places where lots of sex takes place andpeople do not necessarily clean up well afterthemselves, the creamy ooze forms were the ‘stuff oflife’ meets certain chemical reagents. Oftensurviving in the back alleys by catching petsbeating them unconscious and slowly dissolvingthem, as well as feeding on rubbish the creamy oozecan be an unwelcome surprise for urban explorers.

Pearlescent in colour and with an unmistakablesmell, the creamy ooze moves slowly but is capableof sudden dashes or ‘spurts’ of movement.

CombatCombatCombatCombatCombatThe creamy ooze always strikes from ambush, lyingin wait and suddenly springing to attack whentargets approach.

Improved grab (Ex): With this ability the oozemust first strike with its slam attack. If it gets a holdit can constrict, covering and squeezing itsopponent.

Constrict (Ex): The ooze deals automatic slamdamage plus an additional point of acid damagewith a successful grapple check. Any clothes arealso horribly stained and go crusty unless washedwithin 24 hours.

Camouflage (Ex): It takes a successful spot check(DC 15) to recognise motionless creamy ooze foranything other than a big puddle of jism. Obviouslythis camouflage is only effective where you mightexpect to find such phenomena, such as a brothel.

Blindsight (Ex): The ooze’s entire body is its senseorgan and it can sense by scent and vibration within60 feet.

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CREATURES OF LUST

Damage: Spit poison.Face/Reach: ½ ft. by ½ ft./0 ft.Special Attacks: Poison.Special Qualities: Scent, symbiosis.Saves: Fortitude +2, Reflex +9, Willpower +1.Abilities: Str 4, Dex 21, Con 11, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2.Skills: Balance +15, Climb +16, Hide +22, Listen+8, Spot +8Feats: Weapon Focus (spit poison)

Climate/Terrain: Tropical land.Organisation: Solitary.Challenge Rating: ¼.Treasure: None.Alignment: Always neutral.Advancement: None.

The one-eyed trouser snake is a remarkable creature.Short and stubby for a snake, pink in colour withamazing tactile ridges and bumps and a beautifulpatina of blue veins running over it, the trousersnake rarely gets the attention it deserves as abeautiful and magnificent animal.

Despite its single eye the trouser snake is a deadshot, able to spit poison up to six feet away to blindcreatures that might attack it.

The trouser snake is extremely friendly, forming animmediate bond with anyone who pets it andprovides it with a warm place to sleep. Many peoplestrive to collect the largest and most magnificenttrouser snake they can.

CombatCombatCombatCombatCombatThe trouser snake is normally shy and retiring,preferring to avoid combat if at all possible. Ifattacked or frightened it will spit its poison andshrink back into cover to wait for the danger to pass.

Poison (Ex): The trouser snake is capable ofshooting a stream of creamy, white, sticky poison upto six feet, usually into the eyes of an attacker. Thetarget can avert their eyes with a successful Reflexsave (DC 15), causing the poison to have no effect.If the save is failed, the target is blinded until theyspend a full turn clearing their eyes.

Scent (Ex): Trouser snakes can smell pussy a mileaway, rearing up and sniffing the air to indicate thegeneral direction of the nearest female humanoid.The only protection from this ability is the variousscent-masking spells, such as pass without trace.

Symbiosis (Su): A trouser snake that has found amale owner will form a bond with him, feeding onthe psychic energy he produces when he has sex. Inreward for, and to encourage more of, this behaviourthe trouser snake bolsters the owner’s mind,conferring a +1 bonus to Will saves provided theowner has had sex in the past week.

PorPorPorPorPorn Golemn Golemn Golemn Golemn GolemLarge ConstructHit Dice: 12d10 (66 hp)Initiative: +0Speed: 20 ft. (Cannot run)AC: 25 (-1 size, +16 natural)Attacks: 2 slams +16 melee.Damage: Slam 2d10+8.Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft./10 ft.Special Qualities: Construct, magic immunity, innerwarmth, damage reduction 30/+2.Saves: Fortitude +4, Reflex +4, Willpower +4.Abilities: Str 27, Dex 11, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1.

Climate/Terrain: Any land.Organisation: Solitary or gang (2-4)Challenge Rating: 10Treasure: None.Alignment: Always neutral.Advancement: 15-21 HD (Huge); 22-42 HD (Huge)

A porn golem is a perfectly carved statue of softstone in the shape of a physical idyll, usually fullyand impressively equipped with some evenincorporating fountains. The porn golem is 8 ft. talland weighs around 1,500 lbs. Its body is ofsmoothly polished stone warmed from within bymagic, its stone flesh is ever so slightly pliant andthus features such as the face, nipples and phalluscan react to outside stimulus.

Porn golems often are placed in the bathrooms andbedrooms of rich and powerful blue magi, providinga kitsch aesthetic touch, a last line of defenceagainst intruders and a bed partner should othermethods prove less than fruitful.

CombatCombatCombatCombatCombatPorn golems are frightening opponents and no lesseffective in battle for their sexual attributes or kitsch70’s porn star chic.

Magic Immunity (Ex): A porn golem is immune toall spells, spell-like abilities and supernatural tle fosexcept for the following. A transmute rock to mud

51

spell slows it as per the slow spell for 2d6 roundswith no saving throw. A transmute mud to rock healsany and all damage the golem may have suffered. Astone to flesh spell does not change its structure butmakes it vulnerable to any normal attack for thefollowing round (this does not include spells savethose that cause physical damage).

Inner Warmth (Ex): The golem glows slightlywarmer than body heat, granting it cold resistance 5and making it warm and fuzzy to cuddle up to.

ConstrConstrConstrConstrConstructionuctionuctionuctionuctionA porn golem’s body is carved from a single block ofsoft stone such as soapstone, weighing at least 3,000pounds.. Assembling the golem requires a successfulCraft (sculpting) check (DC 20) and costs 70,000 gp,which includes the cost of the stone. The creatormust be 16th level and be able to cast arcane spells.Completing the ritual drains 1,500 XP and requiresthe casting of a geas/quest, limited wish, polymorphany object and stone to flesh spell.

SirSirSirSirSiren Floweren Floweren Floweren Floweren FlowerMedium PlantHit Dice: 3d8 +6 (19 hit points)Initiative: +0Speed: 0 ft.AC: 14 (+1 dex, +3 natural)Attacks: Slam +5 melee.Damage: Slam 1d6+6.Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft./5 ft.Special Attacks: Entangle, improved grab, implantseedpod, constrict 1d6+6.Special Qualities: Tremorsense.Saves: Fortitude +6, Reflex +2, Willpower +2.Abilities: Str 18, Dex 12, Con 14, Int -, Wis 13, Cha11.Climate/Terrain: Temperate and warm forest, jungleand underground.Organisation: Solitary or patch (2-4)Challenge Rating: 2Treasure: 1/10th coins; 50% goods; 50% items.Alignment: Always neutral.Advancement: 4-5 HD (Medium)

‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,’ butwould not crush the life out of you and try to wedgea seedpod up your arse.

The siren flower is notorious and yet still claimsmany victims every year. The plant grows as a bulbunder the earth and every spring bursts forth into the

warm sunshine with its magnificent and uniquebloom. The flower resembles in every way a veryattractive humanoid, male or female, buck-nakedand enjoying the feel of the sun on their skin. A fan-like root structure detects the approach of anotherhumanoid and the flower begins to beckon to them,trying to entice them into mating with it.

Stimulation of the flower causes its vine-likeappendages to seize hold of the creature, whileanother part of the plant tries to stuff a seedpod(about the size of a small pineapple and texture of apine cone) up their sphincter without the aid oflubricant. Once the seedpod is in place and thecaptured humanoid crushed to death, the flowerwilts to await the next spring. The seedpod maturesinside the corpse as it rots and explodes violently inthe autumn, showering helicopter seeds and rottenbody parts over a wide radius to take root and growfor next spring.

Some blue magi who fancy themselves botanistshave developed a safe and non-wilting variety fortheir greenhouses, which would otherwise beentirely full of suggestively shaped root vegetables.

CombatCombatCombatCombatCombatThe siren flower simply lies in wait for a suitablyhorny or stupid individual and then strikes.

Entangle (Ex): The siren flower comes equippedwith tubers and vines as well as the limbs of itsflower which can grab at anyone within reach asthough using the entangle spell to slow down theirretreat.

Improved grab (Ex): To use this ability the sirenflower must first hit with its slam attack.

Implant Seedpod (Ex): A siren flower can attempt toimplant a seedpod into the anus of any creature witha successful grapple check. If someone is implantedwith a seedpod and does not remove it from theiranal passage before the autumn (requiring theapplication of a heal spell), it will explode causing4d12 damage and making a terrible mess in theprocess.

Constrict (Ex): A siren flower automatically dealsslam damage with a successful grapple check againstmedium-size or smaller creatures.

Tremorsense (Ex): A siren flower can detect thepresence of anything within 60 ft. that is in contactwith the ground.

CREATURES OF LUST

52

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