DAYS OF OUR LIVES

“Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, ‘Make everyone go out from me!’ So no one stood with him while Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud; and the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard it. Then Joseph said to his brothers, ‘I am Joseph; does my father still live?’ But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed by his presence. And Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Please come near to me.’ So they came near. Then he said: ‘I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, “Thus says your son Joseph: ‘God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not tarry. You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to me, you and your children, your children’s children, your flocks and your herds; and all that you have. There I will provide for you, lest you and your household, and all that you have, come to poverty; for there are still five years of famine.’” And behold, your eyes and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see that it is my mouth that speaks to you. So you shall tell my father of all my glory in Egypt, and of all that you have seen; and you shall hurry and bring my father down here.’ Then he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck, and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. Moreover he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.”—Genesis 45:1-15

As I read through this story once again, I visualized a familiar image in my mind, and I could hear the deep voice of MacDonald Carey say, “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.” Because the plot fits so well! This has to be the original soap opera. Joseph, obviously the favored son of his father, was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers and taken by traders to Egypt. There he is sold to a man named Potiphar and grows up in his house, with the blessing of God surrounding him in all that he does. Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce him, but he refuses and leaves. She tells her husband and accuses him of misconduct, and he is put in jail. God blesses him

there, and the jailer eventually puts him in a position of responsibility and trust. Pharaoh has some troubling dreams and his wise men cannot interpret them. Word comes to him that Joseph has skill in interpreting dreams, and he is called. Joseph interprets his dreams as an indication of a seven-year period of abundance, followed by a seven-year famine. Pharaoh likes his interpretation, and he is put in a position to prepare for the lean years to come. He eventually rises to second in command to pharaoh himself. The famine is so severe, Joseph’s brothers must come to Egypt to buy grain.

Here’s where it gets interesting. If you have ever watched soap operas, you know that this is the moment you expect the good guys to get their revenge for the things the bad guys have done to them. And just like the soaps, we get a window through which we are privy to key information which only the main player knows about and is about to use to his advantage. In Joseph’s case, the advantage he has is that he has recognized his brothers without them recognizing him at all. He uses the situation to toy with them, but to his credit, it seems he does use some restraint even as he indulges himself in his little secret fun. He accuses them of being spies, and locks up Simeon, sending the rest of them to get Benjamin. After they bring Benjamin back, He gives them a big meal, hides his silver cup in Benjamin’s bag, and sends them off. Then he sends his men to overtake them, search their belongings, and accuse them of theft. They find the cup in Benjamin’s bag and tell the others to tell their father that Benjamin is now Joseph’s slave. Judah pleads with Joseph to allow him to be a substitute for Benjamin, on the grounds that the news of Benjamin’s capture would be too much for their father to take.

This is the point where we enter the story today. Joseph is unable to bear the deception anymore, sends everyone else out, and reveals himself to his brothers. The lesson, of course, is a beautiful picture of unconditional forgiveness. The importance of forgiveness in our closest relationships cannot be over-emphasized. We are commanded in Scripture again and again to forgive one another; forgiving and being forgiven are important enough that Jesus included them in the model prayer He taught His disciples; forgiveness was included when the early Church put together a formulation of their core beliefs, which we have received in the words of the Apostles’ Creed. Jesus taught forgiveness as a necessary part of our belief system, telling His followers that “if you forgive others their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, then neither will your heavenly Father forgive you.” He told Peter when asked about the lengths we are to go to in our forgiveness, that we are to forgive not the seven times held to in rabbinical traditions, but “seventy times seven” (or “seventy-seven times,” depending on the translation)—or in other words, without condition and without limit.

There certainly are reasons for the heightened importance given to the practice of forgiveness.

For one thing, there is a very strong healing power in forgiveness. Notice the immediate guilt trip of Joseph’s brothers when they are first accused: “We are truly guilty concerning our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, and we would not hear; therefore this distress has come upon us” (Gen. 42:21). What they don’t know is that Joseph hears them—he has used an interpreter when talking to them, but he knows the language and overhears them as they suggest their treatment of Joseph as the cause of their own troubles. In his position, Joseph certainly has the authority to have them put to death, or in prison, and thus have his revenge if that is his desire. Instead, he chooses the path of forgiveness and healing. And you can almost FEEL the healing in the scene where he reveals himself to them.

I was reminded of the words of the God of the Exodus to the children of Israel many centuries later: “I am the God who heals you.” Is that phrase equivalent to saying “I am the God who forgives you?” I often think so—and I am not alone. Patti Davis tells this story of her father Ronald Reagan after he was wounded in an attempt on his life: “The following day my father said he knew his physical healing was directly dependent on his ability to forgive John Hinckley. By showing me that forgiveness is the key to everything, including physical health and healing, he gave me an example of Christ-like thinking.”(1)

Forgiveness also has a redemptive nature to it. Because of Joseph’s willingness to forgive, he was able to save his entire family from starvation, and bring about a reconciliation with his brothers. But not without some TOUGH moments. Even after this reconciliation, we still find the lingering guilt of his brothers haunting them. After the death of their father Israel, we find them wondering, “’Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.’ So they sent messengers to Joseph, saying, “Before your father died he commanded, saying, ‘Thus you shall say to Joseph: “I beg you, please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin; for they did evil to you.” Joseph’s response was “Am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” (Gen. 50:15-17, 19-20).

Forgiveness is important in all our relationships, but it seems the potential for harm is so much greater when there is unforgiveness within families. The emotions are so much greater, the ties are so much stronger, there is potentially so much more to lose in our closest emotional involvements. Thus there is a tendency for the emotional pendulum to swing in a wider arc and create the potential for greater experiences of forgiveness—or unforgiveness. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “Symbolically speaking, there is in all of us a Hitler and a Mother Teresa.”(2) Our culture makes it so much easier NOT to forgive, to

cultivate the “Hitler” and no the “Mother Teresa.” Consider, for example, the rash of action movies that hinge on revenge: Mel Gibson in “Payback,” probably most of the Westerns that Clint Eastwood ever did, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, the list could go on much longer. With the portrayal of heroes who choose every kind of weapon to blast every opponent they face, is it really so surprising when we find teens in our schools blasting away at classmates and/or teachers for perceived wrongs? In so many ways in the entertainment we find acceptable, and in the things we justify in our big-screen heroes, we have bartered away all lines of meaning. We just had another harsh reminder of the possibilities with the 50-year sentence handed down to shooter Charles Williams this past week. I suppose we all face that temptation in one degree or another. Even Joseph, before he eventually reconciled with his brothers, made them SWEAT!

But we are not called to revenge, we are called to forgiveness—and forgiveness begins at home. I think we find some helpful guidelines in Joseph’s example that may help us with forgiveness issues that confront us in our most cherished relationships.

(1) Remember your common roots and bonds. Joseph may have found it within himself to have a little harmless fun with his brothers, but he found the emotional load of trying to continue that “fun” too much to bear.

(2) Be willing to make the first move. That sometimes can be the hardest step to take—pride will always convince you that it cannot be done. On this particular point, Joseph exceeded all expectations.

(3) Be willing to wait—it takes time to forgive, or even, many times, to allow yourself to be forgiven. Joseph had already had sufficient time between the wrong and the reunion to allow the relationship to take priority over revenge. I can’t help but wonder if he would have felt the same if the reunion had occurred while he was still in prison in Egypt.

(4) Most importantly, look for God’s hand in your situation. Joseph amazingly was able to look far enough beyond what they had done to be able to say of the good it brought about, “You didn’t do this, it was God’s doing.” What a blessing it would be in all of our lives to be able to look beyond all the good or bad we may or may not have done to one another, and begin to see “all things working together for good.”

NOTES:

(1) Quoted in Leadership Journal.

(2) Found quoted on ForgivenessNet website, available at http://website.lineone.net/~andrewhdknock/StoriesI-P.htm

OTHER SOURCES CONSULTED:

“Life is in the Son,” sermon by Ron Ritchie, accessed at http://www.pbc.org/dp/ritchie/4421.html

“Lessons on Forgiveness,” sermon by Bruce Goettsche, accessed at www.unionchurch.com/archive/030500.html