DATING

GOING OUT

HOOKING UP

TOGETHER

Whatever you call it, most relationships begin with it.

DATING DEFINED

to go out socially with one or more persons.

CHAPTER 18 Dating is often difficult in the beginning.Why? You may not know each other well

enough to carry on a very long conversation.

Expectations have not been established Don’t know what to say or do

Discussion

Why is courage and self-confidence a must in dating?

You are opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection, embarrassment, confusion & disappointment.

Is there a set age that a person should be allowed to begin dating?

People mature at different rates, so some are ready for dating before others.

Parents can be a good judge of the maturity level of their child

Caution should be taken when one person is at a different maturity level than the other.

Example: 15 year old and a 19 year old

What opportunities can dating provide? Fun Enjoyment Friendship Companionship Social skills Personal development Learning gender roles Giving and receiving love and affection Selecting a mate Preparing for marriage

How does dating play a role in personal development?

It helps people mature Dating should boost self-esteem

not hinder it. If your self-esteem lowers during dating, you are with the wrong person.

It helps you learn about your own identity and expectations.

What qualities attract people to one another as dating partners?

You may admire that person for their accomplishments

You admire their talents and skills This person has a way of making you

and others feel special or important You have shared interests Attractive

What is the dating pattern for many teens?

Casual dating, group dating Pairing, couple dating (includes

double dating) Developing a commitment to see

just one person. Be careful at this point:

There are factors that affect the strength of a commitment between dating partners: Age of the couple Stage in life Purpose of the relationship

DATING HAS CHANGED OVER THE YEARS. The purpose has changed. When

dating began, the sole purpose was to find a spouse.

Females have become more assertive & independent.

Some gender role confusion may exist: who does the asking, who pays, etc.?

What is compatibility and why is it important in a relationship?

Shared interests Shared values Shared attitudesIf these area are opposing, conflict

will arise in the relationship.

How can dating partners show respect for each other?

Honor and esteem Accept and appreciate individuality Take a sincere interest in the

other’s activities Listen to each other’s ideas and

opinions

DATING CONCERNS

Is it okay to turn down a date?Of course. You are never obligated

to go out with someone you are not comfortable being with. Use your intuition and common sense when accepting dates. Don’t go out alone with a stranger.

Other reasons why one might turn down a date.

Shyness Insecure Not interested Made other plans May have just broken up with

someone and needs time to heal Not ready for the dating scene

Why is shyness common in dating?

The more inexperience one is with dating, the more difficult it might be to accept a date.

A person may feel pressure to please

Insecure or low self-esteem

What are some low cost, easy, and enjoyable activities to do on a date?

What about violence in dating?

End the relationship immediately!!

Why would you settle for someone treating you so badly?

HOW TO END A RELATIONSHIP

Be kind and gentle Explain your reasons for ending the

relationship in person or in writing Point out differences Avoid attacking or blaming Be firm and don’t back down! Try to keep it unemotional

How to deal with a break up:

Spend time with friends and family to help fill the void.

Write your feeling and thoughts in a journal.

Remember that you had a life before that person came into it and you will have a life without that person in it.

LAST THOUGHT

When choosing to date, (and it is a choice), you will be setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache.

You are gambling that the experiences will enhance your life.

No- Brainers Dating Video with John Gray

Assignment: Take notes on the 5 stages of dating

Make a booklet that defines each stage of dating and then write a personal story of you (or someone you know) when you or they were in each stage.

Each of you will have a personal story about stage one whether you have dated or not.

Due Date for Dating Booklet

One week from the day we finish the video.

Please include pictures, poems, descriptions, etc. to make this booklet interesting.

One more thing…. Make a list of qualities you would like to have in

a future mate. Think this through. These qualities might include values, beliefs, work ethics, goals, attitudes, physical appearance, financial stability, religious affiliation, their history of past relationships, STD’s (some are permanent), family, level of education, job, etc.

This list should be labeled “Desirable Qualities of My Future Mate”, typed and double spaced. Include in booklet.