Darwin's ArmyBy

Peter O’Connorhttp://peteraoconnor.blogspot.com.au/

© Peter O’Connor 2014

All rights reserved.

Gerry Maron's hands trembled ashe struggled with the zip of hisbackpack. He glanced over at hiscompanion Antoine Pitt, who alreadyhad his balaclava on and was readyinghis ropes and grappling hook. Marontried to catch up, anxious thatsomehow Pitt would leave him behind.At the same time he forced himself tocalm down and to just concentrate onwhat he was doing. For a brief beat oftime the contradiction of these urgesdawned on him and he just ground toa halt. Don't look at Pitt, he toldhimself. Don't let him get to you.

Moments later he was ready and

able to face his balaclava clad

companion. Only Pitt's eye's andmouth were visible but Maron was stillable to make out the expression ofimpatient contempt. Being in Pitt'spresence was like being slowlysquashed by a huge weight. Still Maronhad to show some sort of authority.

"Ready?" he said. Pitt tilted his

head slightly. It was amazing howmuch derision somebody could conveywith such a small gesture.

Maron was losing his patience. He

tapped his temple. "I mean up here aswell. You know what we're about todo."

"That part has never been aproblem for me," said Pitt.

"Right." Maron sighed. There was nothing

overtly insulting about what Pitt hadjust said but in the inflection, in theparticular emphasis he put on certainwords, Maron felt that there had been.It was pointless arguing though. Therehad been many clashes between thetwo and Maron had always come outof the other side of them feeling like apetty fool.

The zoo’s perimeter wall was 15

foot high. That wasn't a problem as

they both had grappling hooks andspiked climbing shoes. The glare fromthe inside of the zoo picked out thecanopy of the trees behind them. Itwasn't a spotlight but it would makethem quite conspicuous when theywere on the top. Maron shivered at the thought of how tenuous the success of their mission was. All it would take to scupper things would be a guard or zoo night worker looking in their direction at that vulnerable moment. Even if they escaped they would never get another go at the pandas. And if they were caught, chances are they would be spending the next twenty years in jail, especially when the contents of Maron's

backpack were discovered. No, bestnot to think of that. Best to justconcentrate on each small part of thewhole. So no hanging around up there.Maron looked back at Pitt whoshuddered or jiggled with what couldhave been extreme annoyance or justa movement to settle his backpack.

Maron nodded at the wall. "On you

go then." Five seconds later Pitt was sitting at

the top of the wall. Bloody show-off. Maron probably would have taken

longer but Pitt pulled him up while hewas climbing. Then Pitt was scaling

down the other side. From his vantagepoint, in that brief moment he satatop the wall, Maron could see thatthey had picked the right spot. The lastthing they wanted to do was end updropping down into the tigers'enclosure.

Subdued orange lights shone over

the expanse of the zoo. Maronthought it all looked a bit surreal. Theempty walkways looped jarringlyaround the different zones. Seatslurked in the darkness but onlyshadows rested on them. Trees ofmany varieties, shapes and sizesswayed in a light sporadic breeze. Hereand there on the horizon glass houses

reflected the hazy orange light and thewaxing half moon. Each light wore aspeckled corona of bugs that seemedto dance and wheel to the susurrus ofthe night, squawks and squeaks,growls and grunts, as the night timecreatures did their thing. Over a slightrise, Maron knew were the aviaries,Beyond that were the hippos and theelephants. Beside the elephants wasthe empty enclosure where the giraffeused to be. No more giraffes. A guycalled Barclay had done the last one.What a hero. Thing is most peopledidn't even know. Few people knewthe truth about how the last fewgiraffes had disappeared.

Once they had reached the cover ofthe bushes Maron crouched downlistening intently. What he dreadedwas a distant, hey, who's that? or thelikes. It was improbable anyway. Zooshad stepped up security lately but theywere by their nature big places andthey couldn't afford that muchprotection. Maron could only hear thenormal sounds. Okay. He popped hishead out of the bush and scanned thepath that ran around a small hill nearwhere they hid. He hardly had time toregister anything before Pitt tugged hisarm and started running for the path.Maron nearly didn't move. Who thehell was running this show anyway?

Then a horrible thought crept intohis mind. What if Pitt wanted to do itall on his own? That got Maron's feetmoving. He ran low and fast to thecorner of the path beside a sign and asteel railing. The sign said Pandas inEnglish and the local language. Pitttapped twice on the sign and noddedat Maron. Then he was off runningagain. Maron realised a moment laterthat he was running after Pitt withouthaving even checked for guards. This,he knew, was foolish. They should beboth checking but bloody Pitt! Luckilythere didn't seem to be anybody aboutat all in this little corner of the zoo. Itwas eerily quiet.

Maron nearly stumbled over Pitt inthe darkness. Pitt put a gloved handover Maron's mouth and pulled himdown to the ground roughly. Maronnearly freaked. This is it, he thought.He does want it all for himself, all theglory and the fame. The bastard istrying to kill me. Maron struggled somemore but Pitt's grip wouldn't budge.Then Pitt's attention was distracted.Maron slipped a hand free and lashedout at Pitt's ugly face. There was asatisfying crack as he connected withhis nose. In the half light Pitt staggeredmomentarily on his haunches beforetoppling back into the bushes. It wasat that point that Maron saw the security guard coming along the path

towards them. Pitt made a silent exasperated gesture towards the guardwith one hand whilst holding his nose with the other. Okay, Maron thought, Imay have fucked up.

The security guard had seen them.

He probably couldn't make out toomuch yet though, Maron thought. Theguard pulled out his radio and wasabout to put it to his ear. Maron wasquicker. He pulled out a tranquilisergun and fired. The guard looked downat his belly; a shocked expressioncrossed his face momentarily. A secondlater he collapsed.

Pitt sprang to his feet spitting

venom. "What are you, a fuckingimbecile? You are. You are – ". Pitt'sapoplexy robbed him momentarily ofspeech. Maron feared Pitt was going toattack him and considered pointingthe tranquiliser gun at him too. In theend he just looked away.

"You shot the guard with Panda

tranquiliser. He could die. You dorealise this."

Maron shrugged. "We've got work

to do." Pitt looked set to explode again

but Maron carried on before he could."You shouldn't keep running ahead. I

planned this mission. I got us the stuff.Follow my lead, okay?"

"Who is in front does not matter. I

was trying to scan the way. I was beingobservant and saw the guard and Idon't know why but I thought I betterstop you from making all the noise."

"Yes, well done. You're great. Now

help me hide the guard in thebushes…"

Pitt made to move off but Maron

grabbed him hard by the arm. "Wait," Maron said through

clenched teeth, "for my fucking lead."

Pitt muttered something in French.

Maron didn't care. His heart waslighter now that he'd chastised Pitt. Hemade a mental note to do it moreoften.

When Maron reached the

recumbent form of the guard hequickly removed the tranq dart andfelt for a pulse. He couldn't find onebut then he was never very good atthese things.

"Luckily he is still breathing," Pitt

said acerbically. "Just get his legs."

Pitt picked up the guard's legs and

Maron grabbed his shoulders butbefore he could get a proper grip Pitthad started moving. There was anawful crack as the guard slipped fromMaron's grip and his head struck theground.

"Pitt!" Maron squeaked. "You dropped him. Do not say to

me…" "You started moving before I was

ready." "When are you ready?"

"I'm ready when I say I'm ready.

What is your problem?" Pitt made an angry sound and

started dragging the guard away by hisfeet.

Maron decided to let it go. He felt

like screaming but he forced thefeeling down into his gut and walkedin the middle of the path towards thepanda enclosure. He pulled the tranqgun out of its holster on his belt andcarefully loaded up another dart. Ifanybody else gave him any crap theywould eat tranq. No more messing.God, this was meant to be fun.

A light scuffing told Maron that Pitt

was running to catch up. He felt him athis side but neither man spoke. Theycame at last to the fence of theenclosure and stood side by sidescanning the dimly lit interior. Theireyes were wide and darted aboutstriving to see, striving to be first tolocate the giant pandas.

"They must be in their house," Pitt

said eventually. "We'll have to go in." "We don't have to both go in

though?" Pitt sounded very reasonable

all of a sudden. Maron didn't trust him The panda enclosure was vaguely

wedge-shaped like a piece of trivialpursuit pie. The front edge had a waistheight steel barrier behind which wasa water-filled moat about seven feetwide. It would have been animpossible jump but the far side wasabout five foot lower. Pitt was sizing itup.

"I think I can make the jump." Maron looked at Pitt, suddenly

weary. The hostility between them was tearing the arse out of the whole escapade. He took a deep breath,

looking into the darkness, trying to relax. It didn't actually matter who went in and the Frenchman was taller and fitter. As long as Maron pushedthe button then technically it was onlyhe who could claim the glory. He tookoff his backpack.

"I'll set up the video camera out

here," he said. "Seeing will be enough.Just get in and out fast and don'tforget to hit the switch." Maron tookan object the size of a large laptop outof his backpack and handed it to Pitt. Itwas covered in the leaves of a bambootree, one of only nine varieties in theworld that the fussy pandas whereprepared to eat. Maron indicated the

switch to Pitt who began to make dismissive sounds but suddenly reined himself in.

"Okay?" "Okay." Pitt said. "I will be careful."

He put the object in his own backpackand quickly climbed on top of the wall.He walked along it a little, back andforth trying to judge the best point tojump.

Maron walked along the wall in the

other direction trying to decide whereto set up the digital video camera. Atthe same time he was adjusting acompact tripod so he very nearly

walked by the sign. He glanced at it,looked back to the tripod, glancedagain. Then he zoomed in on it as itsmessage sank into his brain. He had tolean on the wall for support. I don'tfucking believe this.

The message read: We are sorry to announce that due

to security fears, the giant pandashave been moved. This followsintelligence that a radical undergroundorganisation is planning to attackthem. If you notice anyone actingsuspiciously around the animalenclosures please contact…

There was a thud. Maron lookedup in a daze and it took him a minuteto realise it was the sound of Pittlanding. But it hadn't just been a thud.There'd been a cracking component tothe noise. And now there were gaspsissuing from the enclosure.

In the dim light it was hard to see

much. Maron could distinguish Pitt'sdark form sprawled on the edge of themoat. Moving closer, Maron winced ashe saw the angle of Pitt's right leg.Jesus wept, he thought, it looks likehe's got two knees on the one leg.

"Pitt. Are you all right?"

Usually he would have expectedsome cutting sarcastic reply to that.Now though all Pitt could manage wasa tortured, "Gerry, help me."

Oh, Gerry, help me, is it now? No

witty innuendo's anymore. No jauntyrepartee. It was all Maron could do tostop himself laughing out loud. Andthat's when he realised; he reallyhated Pitt. It was a revelation to himbut it came with a sense of relief. Hehad always cajoled himself with stupidsayings and clichés to rein in his truefeelings. He just rubs me up the wrongway. We can't see eye to eye. Yeah,they couldn't see eye to eye all right.But it wasn't down to a personality

clash or that their star signs weren'tcompatible. It was because Pitt was anabhorrent, condescending fuck andcompared to him Maron thoughtpandas were friendly and usefulmembers of society. And that wassaying a lot because Maron really,really didn't like pandas.

Realising the depth of his hatred

was like an epiphany to Maron. It gavehim a warm glow and butterflies in hisbelly. He had never been in love but hethought it must be a comparable rushto this. Now the disappointment ofdiscovering their mission had come tonothing dissipated completely. Theworld was suddenly full of possibilities.

And if one pathetic creature couldn'tbe eradicated this night, then maybeanother could. Maron licked his lips.

"Pitt, listen." he said, trying to

sound calm, trying to sound like hegave a shit. "Is that a bit of bonesticking out? Oh my God, that's nasty."

"Gerry. I can't…" There was a

strangled cry from Pitt. He must havetried to move. Maron got a veryvisceral image of jagged bones grindingoff each other.

"Pitt," he said again, "Listen Pitt.

Shut the fuck up. Now listen. I've gotan idea. There's no way I can get you

out of there." Pitt let out a great whimpering

moan. "No, Pitt, you've got to listen

because I'm going to make you the starof the show. Your name will be downas the One. You'll get the credit on theExtinctathon web site. Are you hearingme?"

"Yesss Gerry but it hurts." "Cool Pitt, I know but it's only for a

while I've got some low dose tranq. I'llhit you with it very soon. You're goingto go to jail but you'll be the hero,

see? Right I'm going to set up thecamera here and you just tell thepeople why were doing it then takeout the explosive and this is going tobe the hard part; you have to throw itinto the panda house. Now it's a goodtwenty foot away but I know you cando it. You're strong as an ox. You'rethe greatest. I'll do the detonatingdon't worry about that. Now I need toknow, can you do it Pitt?"

Pitt's head was bowed down on his

chest. Maron panicked that theFrenchman had passed out throughpain or whatever. But Pitt nodded.

"Okay Gerry. Don't too much

tranq." Don't too much tranq, Gerry

thought. What sort of grammar wasthat? He ran and got the camera, set itup in seconds. He'd have to riskputting on the camera lights as Pittwas a good distance away. Shit, theywere going to find out soon enoughanyway. He just hoped that he himselfcould get away.

"Right Pitt. Go" Maron hit the

record button and zoomed in on Pitt.Pitt like a true professional lifted hishead and smiled. Smiled. But his browwas furrowed and his eyes creased.There may have been beads of sweat

on his forehead. It was hard to tell. "Hello everyone. I am a member of

ECTA-plasm. We are a group that putsright the mistakes of evolution. Todaywe are here to make right the mistakeof the Giant Panda. Ailo… ahhh… sorryI'm not sure… my leg… I've broken myleg quite badly so it's hard but I mustgo on."

What a professional, Maron

thought. What a trooper. He pulledout the radio controlled detonator,pulled up the aerial and switched iton. A small red LED lit up on the top.Back to the camera. He must havenudged it slightly. The frame had

moved down Pitt's body. Still, as hewas talking about his leg it didn'tmatter too much. He centred theframe once more.

Pitt went on. "Ailurpoda melanoleuca is a boring

animal. It eats for 12 hours a day. Itcan't be bothered to reproduce. It haspoor vision and is very fat. It is alsovery smelly breath. It is for thesereasons that we have - aaagh – wehave decided to blow it up."

Pitt took the bamboo leaf covered

package out of his back pack. It tookhim a while as his hands were

shivering. He was obviously in shock.He set himself to throw it and Maronnearly cried out because he hadn'tarmed it. But Pitt, diligent as ever,stopped and pushed the button.

It was at that moment that the

panda attacked him. A big black panda claw swept into

frame and nearly knocked Pitt's headoff. Maron hadn't seen it coming. Hehad been staring through the view-finder which was zoomed in tight onPitt's head and shoulders.

"Jesus." Maron leapt back. But the

sign said… They must be being moved

first thing in the morning. Maron'smind reeled with the new possibilities.Maybe he wouldn't have to push thebutton now. It would all look like anutter getting his comeuppance. Themedia would love it. He could makeout that he had planned it all. But howto avoid the murder rap? It was tooconfusing and he hadn't anymore timeto think because Pitt was screaming.His head had been pounded brutallyagainst the edge of the moat. Therewas blood flowing down the concreteedge of it. Then the panda pouncedagain on poor Pitt.

Gerry shook his head reflectively.

"That fucker's had it," he thoughtand pressed the detonator.

What he didn't anticipate was

being caught by the blast. The explosion sent him flying so he

didn't see bits of Panda flesh flyinghigh into the air, as he thought hemight. He didn't see Pitt's expression.It wasn't like a cartoon explosion at all.There was a flash and giant punchingblast that felt like it had smashed hiseardrums into a hundred bloodypieces in the middle of his skull. Therewas a great deal of pain. But as he laystunned in the grass with bits ofcharred flesh and blasted rocks raining

down on him, as his blinking eyessought to see past the pulsing purpleafter-images to the stars above, as thepoints of seven tranquilliser capsulesforced into his upper thigh bled theirlethal dose into his bloodstream, hetook solace from the fact that hewould soon be very famous indeed.

***

Author’s Note:

I l ike animals. You might think after reading this that Idon’t or I’ve got a particular vendetta against Giant Panda’sbut it’s just a story. I don’t condone any sort of cruelty toanimals.

Ok maybe mosquitos. And Cane toads. If you l ike animals too check out the Thin Green Line

Organisation. These guys support the people who try toprotect some of the world’s most vulnerable animals.

http://www.thingreenline.org.au/ If you liked this story and think it’s worth a dollor / pound

/ euro - please donate to my Leukaemia FoundationFundraising Page

https://runningfestival2015.everydayhero.com/au/peter-s-canberra-marathon