My name is Anjali Van Drie.

I am a behavior analyst and the social worker.

I have actually worked in the field of child welfare for

about probably about 10 or 12 years now down in Southwest

Florida and down there.

What I did is contact with the local community based care

agency and provide in-home behavioral supports both to at-risk

families as well as Foster adoptive kinship care doing training

and In-Home Support.

So I've since actually left that position start my own.

Agency being able to do that also to families in the community.

So before we get started just so I have a better idea of

who's in the room how many families in here our foster families?

Awesome.

So everyone adopted families kinship care?

Okay, everyone providers administrators.

So if we got a couple my dad up here anyone I missed with

any of that.

All right, and I know some of you like we've kind of touch

base already have been to some of my presentations in the

past. And so I brought a few different things to go over

with you guys tonight and some of the things that we'll review

today are things that are germane to any child biological

children relatives and will help with the summer kind of

lack of structure and things like that that's been a big

issue for a lot of the families locally that I work with.

So I I need to give you guys some tools.

I have some examples up here and ideas of what you guys can

do in your home to help build some of this structure.

So to start with to just kind of briefly cover Behavior Analysis.

How many of you are familiar with behavior analysis or have

Behavioral Services?

Okay.

So a handful of folks.

So behavior analysis is actually a scientific approach and

the field of behavior analysis has changed significantly

over the past couple of hundred years where it was very structured

and isolated kind of very Very dry clinical sort of approach

to where now it's much more a positive based family system

school system where you see the application of behavior analysis

across the board schools use it all the time workplaces use

it. There's about a hundred different applications.

If you ask me I would say you can use it everywhere anytime

with anyone but I can argue that point later.

She wants to talk more about it, but it is very scientific

in its approach.

So there's really a focus on identifying Specific behaviors

to measure and change it really focuses on the environmental

determinants of behavior.

So I said at the beginning I'm also a social worker the difference

between a typical social work or therapeutic approach and

a behavioral approach is the Social Work approach focuses

more on internal State what's happening inside feeling?

So a lot of the trauma work that we do is much more internal

working on things like that the behavioral approach looks

at what's happening in the environment?

Okay.

And that's why for in my opinion and a lot of the families

we work with looking at what's happening in your home because

as you well know the children who come into your home have

been in multiple different environment.

So if we can work with you to address what's happening in

your environment impact that behavior then we can work on

changing some of those behaviors and changing what's happening

in the environment.

I said before it's a side.

So it focuses on the actual measurable and meaningful outcomes.

So this is where we'll talk a little bit more about behavior

and what it looks like and for some of you a lot of that

embedded in some of your pride or Matt training or whatever

training you have in three service, but we really focus on

when working with families is what does that look like to

you? And what does that look like to you?

And do they look the same or are you talking about the faith

and because what we really have Clear idea of what we're

looking at them again.

We can start to work as a team that and change that behavior.

I said a little bit ago Behavior Analysis has changed over

the last couple of hundred years, honestly, and now there's

a very strong emphasis on promoting positive behaviors and

really focusing on positive outcomes and building up those

positive outcomes as approach to you as opposed to using

approaches such as punishment or the more coercive approaches.

And one of the other key things would behavior analysis is

we really focus on appropriate ways to behaviors to replace

the inappropriate.

So we are acting out for a particular reason if we just tell

them and so my job and working with families that stay.

All right.

Let's see what the inappropriate behaviors and how can we

change that and give them a better way to get their needs

met? Okay.

So that's the kind of fundamental basis of what behavior

analysis is.

And again that you need to change it based on your home the

child in your home the makeup of your enter your particular

approach already and what you're using so really it's an

individualized your situation.

So what is behavior?

So behavior is anything that a person says or does up and

there's some key kind of things up here.

It has to be observable.

So something we can all see a minute ago.

I said, what is it look like and what do you and what does

it look like you you want to make sure that everyone in the

home is seeing the same thing and the way you do that is

to make sure it is actually something you could win easiest

way to describe that is make sure it's an actual.

Okay, and it's something that once it's those things that

you can measure and then you can see it.

I take this thing for a mine up so high look at these pictures

right here.

What are some of the behaviors that you could say that you're

saying up here?

It's really angry frustrated silly angry frustrated anybody

else sticking her tongue out.

So within those definitions which one of those so we had

glaring sticking their I'm out angry Philly which one of

those are observable actions sticking your tongue out.

Yes glaring.

Yes.

So silly why I like that you brought that up because that's

often what we see right?

The biggest one.

I speak the child's being disrespectful or ungovernable,

right? If I don't know.

I never heard the word on gun Governor Bowl before I started

working in the top offer, but I don't know what that means

disrespectful and like you said, So this could be silly right?

This actually could be silly to I'm not sure though.

But when you say glaring that's a pretty good player when

you say sticking your tongue out anybody in this room knows

which one we're talking about.

Right?

So that's a good example of what you're talking about Behavior.

That's how you want it in private for a couple of reasons

one. So all of us are on the same page, so if you have a

campaign manager coming into your house or if you have someone

doing Ray That care or if that tells moving to a new placement

for coming into your placement it helps you to know exactly

what you mean because to you that might not be silly and

to someone else that might be disrespectful right but to

really know what you're dealing with.

It's helpful to do that.

Plus when we describe behaviors in this way.

It takes away some of the negative connotations behind it,

right? So that's not putting any sort of judgment or blame

on anyone or anything.

That's just saying this is what's happening this Is exactly

what I see happening and for me, it really helps to know

how to dress that behavior look better and I'll give an example

that to me was really striking and really was impactful in

terms of when we're talking about what is behavior.

And what does it look like and why is this important?

So I said I worked with families in home.

So with I think this was a pre-adoptive home also foster

homes of working with the referrals.

I got were from anyone basically case manager license.

The lead agency and this referral came I think from the licensing

staff to me and the referral was for our family who said

that they had a three-year-old who is having pant rooms.

I'm you have seen three-year-old with having a perfect kind

of par for the course with a three-year-old and but what

do you think when you when I say a three-year-old was having

a tantrum kicking feet kicking feet screaming screaming.

Yes painting falling on the floor.

Absolutely.

Those are all very Vivid images of a small toddler having

a tantrum totally agree that so I was like hey that's typical

behavior for a three-year-old.

But when I called the caregiver and said, alright, so let's

talk a little bit more about these tantrums that are happening

with this three-year-old.

She's like well, yes, he's crying and he's kicking and he

falls to the floor but my concern is his falling to floor.

He repeatedly slams his head on the floor until it starts

to bleed.

That's not a tantrum.

Is it right?

So now we're talking about a pretty dangerous self-injury.

So it's so important to describe those behaviors very clearly

because that was a whole new level and that was all right.

We need to get someone in there to help you pretty quickly.

Right?

So this is what I'm talking about where it really helps everyone

involved when we're able to clearly Define what those behaviors

are and what they look like any questions about any of this

so far.

So this is a really long quote.

I will read it to you.

So some kids are just Bab is what it says the science of

human behavior has taught us that children are not born with

bad behavior and they do not learn better ways of Behaving

when presented with a versus consequences for their problem

behaviors using punishment alone without teaching or reinforcing

pro-social behavior is ineffective and has been associated

with increases and aggression vandalism truancy and Dropout

rates. So in essence what this is saying is if we only focus

on punishing the bad behavior that's only going to teach

more negative outcomes when we focus on pro-social behaviors,

that's when we are really able to change that trajectory

long term.

Okay.

So kids don't just come out bad, right?

They learn these things through their environment through

their history.

And unfortunately a lot of the children that are who are

in your care haven't necessarily had The best models potentially

haven't had that structure or the positive role models or

reinforcement to learn some of those behaviors or their family

members may not have known other Alternatives and as we know

it's site the cyclical right?

So to break that to be able to change that and really change

that trajectory.

We want to focus on some of the positive outcomes that will

talk about and positive procedures.

So if kids aren't born with these types of behavior, why

does Behavior occur?

In the field of behavior analysis, we suggest that there's

actually four functions of behavior.

Has anyone heard about any of these other than some of the

other talks of that one.

So I'm going to show you a couple of brief video clip.

So you have an idea of what we're talking about and I think

some of these are all of them are pretty germane to what

you might see with NHL.

So Escape is the first one we talked about.

So Escape is either Escape or avoid trying to get out of

doing something.

So think about the kids you have in your home when it's time.

To clean up your toys when it's time to go to bed time to

take a bath when it's time to do chores, right?

What are some of the things you hear when you're asking them

to do something.

They don't want to do I'm tired.

That's a good one.

So my said over here what are some of the other things that

you hear people even people gotta go to the bathroom.

They try to blame other people good.

So they're doing whatever they can to get out of it or to

avoid it.

So, let's see if I can.

Make this first video clip here, which I thought was hilarious

because it's like every kid.

Nothing, I'm just gonna say I'm here to see well for a dress.

And so does that look familiar to anyone?

I feel like every child with it's time for bed.

You get this Litany of skus of excuses.

So from I'm hot I'm cold.

I didn't eat dinner all those things.

So you see that's a perfect example of Escape or avoid it

because what those girls are doing are trying to get out

of going to bed.

Right and it lasted quite a while between the two of them

going back and forth and coming back and forth.

So that's a pretty clear example and you see this not just

in little kids.

This is across The board to older teens and adults we all

engage in Behavior because it serves a purpose.

It didn't work.

We want to do it.

Right.

So what I really work on when I work with families and is

figure out what are the reasons behind these behaviors.

So the next one is attention.

And again, these are younger kids but attention for a lot

of individuals even negative attention.

So even getting yelled at okay or being the class clown that's

attention. You got it.

Bunch of eyes on you.

So for some families were at home, it's fine.

But as soon as you walk into the grocery store, well, there's

a lot more people in the grocery store.

Right?

So it's a lot easier to get attention because even if you

can work on ignoring it and not attend tune, but the person

in line behind you or the person behind the checkout isn't

necessarily on the same page as you show that it's a lot

easier to get some of those reactions.

So this is an example some of you might have seen this one

to goes on a little long, but the point is pretty clear.

So you can see from a very young age kids learn that these

behaviors get attention right could what do we usually do?

When a child crying?

We usually do pick him up and control them, right?

That's what we should do usually but you can see from a very

young age.

He was clearly doing that for the tension because as soon

as the cameras on him, which I love it was when the camera

was on him with that.

So so there's a pretty clear example of attention maintain

Behavior right for Now the one thing I will caution you for

most individuals.

It's not a clear-cut one or another reason.

These are pretty isolated examples.

So you guys can kind of understand what we're talking about

here. But in most people were complex beings, right?

It's not just one reason.

It might be for the attention and to get out of doing things

or this last one is to gain access to or tangible to an item

or an activity.

So when they want something they can't have whatever that

thing might be and this is also from a commercial you guys

might have So again, if you really wanted that cereal or

candy whatever it was in that bag, so it's funny but isn't

that so true what really happens and what the other people

do is that look right there just like looking at you I said,

so again to gain access to a demurrer activities.

I think this is something we see a lot and you see how these

pet all play into each other that would could very easily

be for attention as well.

Because like I said at the grocery store lots of other people

watching even though the dad was just like, all right.

I'm going to try to ignore this.

Everyone else in the store is giving those looks so those

are the three of the main reasons.

The last one is sensory this one.

We don't see as often as a little harder to give an example

of but that's when I talk about my little guy who was hitting

his head against the floor that sometimes sensory the self-injury

that we see sometimes it's self-interest Behavior.

So it basically serves a purpose.

It makes them feel better.

It alleviates some sort of pain or it causes a sensation.

That they liked that's them Century.

Like I said, we don't see that as frequently the top three

are the ones you probably see most frequently, but the sensory

component is definitely there as well.

So just to be aware of that as well any questions about any

of these sound familiar to you guys.

Yeah, yeah, they're definitely something people have who

are hypersensitive?

Top of can explain to you what's happening, but won't get

dressed. It can be very frustrating because you don't know

why they get out the door and all those things but that definitely

is one of the things to think about and try different things.

A lot of times we might see accessory need that kids try

to figure out a way to make meet their own needs.

So taking off the church because they can't deal with it.

Strong leader in healthcare Iraq, the feeling of of the tags

and the Snows in a lights and because it all our oldest son

had a play with it's almost like a fly.

He just can't process ever going to whether he is cooking.

And so one of the things that we had started with him.

Anyways, I'm using like sour candy.

because you know, you give a child compared sensory processing

whether some cemeteries the older ones really are into like

Yeah, well, that's what I mean.

That's what happens when real life.

Absolutely what happens?

Yes, ma'am.

So one is under sensitive.

So hyper is both like you're oversensitive.

So someone who is hypersensitive and it's like what if I

just cut slightly it would only be painful for someone who

I can grab.

It doesn't feel that I don't know that they need to get over

there with that you get to have some stuff because they don't

have the same pain threshold.

So they don't realize it's hurting them that but notice it

doesn't but their response rate is lower.

So if the way their makeup at body and I will be honest with

you, I don't know all the biophysical Parts behind it, but

that's basically the difference.

So either the crunchy, right if someone papers and it just

like in my case, it's going to be a very painful and good.

Thanks for that where someone who is and you can kind of

pull all that off out and about with some other than at all

is that clear enough?

Absolutely good comments.

Thank you for your feedback.

So we talked about this is why the behaviors occur.

So if this is why being here has occurred think about what

we typically do as caregivers and adults as teachers when

we're dealing with kids most typically these are kind of

the things that we do so we Provide right?

We provide intention.

We've referenced we practice we question.

Why did you do that?

I gave you know what?

I'm going to write a lot of attention going through that

we use logic.

So we explain to them.

Why should you do it this way?

This is not the right way to go into the lengthy explanations

about the reason behind what you're asking them to do or

not. Do we give them things?

So we give them something they like to calm down we might

give them their favorite toy or Electronics candy.

Sweet, so I think that commercial so and again, I'm not saying

these are things you should never do but when we talk about

inappropriate behaviors, when we give them the reasons behind

what they want, then we're reinforcing those behaviors it

work. So they're going to do some more to the mix.

This is cool.

If I lay on the floor or if I dump everything off the shelf

and I get my handy because that's like I can't be in here

right now.

Then this is I'm going to do that next time why even waste

time asking nicely this way.

We're so much better or we give them a break right timeout

sending kids to their room.

That's a break.

So be very careful if you use timeout, make sure the reason

you're using timeout is not because the child doesn't want

to do something because you just gave them a free pass right?

So when kids don't want to do their homework and you say

alright. Well, you need to go sit in your room when until

you're ready.

All right.

I'm not going to be ready to do homework, right so they don't

have to because you just gave them a free pass not do that.

A lot of kids there room is much more fun than sitting at

the table doing homework, right?

There's a lot more fun things to do in there.

So just be mindful of that.

And again, if you can think about why is the behavior occurring

then you can start to shape your response.

So it's not giving in to what they want.

And I'm not saying don't give children what they want and

I'm not saying don't give children attention and affection

and things like that just in the way and the timing of when

you do then so you don't want it to follow the inappropriate

behavior because then you're teaching them.

Them.

This is the behavior that warrant this we want to teach them

appropriate ways to get those things and that's what we work

on as a team to do that and it does take a team because sometimes

I don't know why and it changes on different people.

So when I'm with you versus what I'm with you and environments

and that's why it's so critical for these kids when they're

transitioning from different placements and into your home

to really be able to understand that because the contingencies

in your house are going to be very different than the contingencies

of mine.

So some of those behaviors might Necessary in my house wearing

your house, they weren't because it was a lot easier for

you in your house and my house.

I don't have those things available or I'm like, I don't

know right so those things are going to be very different

for the students.

So think about that and when it's changing from placement

to placement we do what we know best, right?

So if you guys were in this room yesterday or earlier today,

or if you come in to talk here tomorrow, you will likely

sit in the same place you are now or some same general area,

right? That's what we do.

We have our seats we Go back to your seat, right because

that's what's familiar.

That's what we know.

So we all tend to do that.

Even the children that are coming in our house.

They go with what's familiar and what they know even if what

they know and is familiar is chaos and disruptive and things

like that.

That's what's familiar.

Okay.

So again, when you think about the reasons behind their behavior

and think about what you can do to help them better meet

that need any questions about any of this Okay, so I'm going

to read you another story.

Okay, so in a small town a group of fishermen gathered down

at the river not long after they got their a child client

came floating down the Rapids quick.

Sorry came floating down the Rapids calling for help one

of the group on the shore quickly delve in and pull the child

out minutes later.

Another child came then another and then many more children

were coming down the river soon.

Everyone was diving in and driving.

Children to the shore that jumping back into save as many

as they could.

In the midst of all this frenzy one of the group was seen

walking away.

Her colleagues were irate.

How could she leave when there were so many children to save

after long hours to everyone's relief the flow of children

stop and the group could finally catch their breath.

At that moment their colleague came back.

They turned on her and angrily shouted.

How could you walk off when we needed everyone here to save

the children?

She replied it occurred to me that someone ought to go upstream

and find out why so many kids are falling into the river.

What I found was that the old Wood Bridge had several planes

missing and when some children tried to duck jump over the

Gap, they couldn't make it and fell into the river.

So I got someone to fix the bridge.

So the point of this is prevention is key.

So many times we react What's happening?

And it's hard not to I'll be honest with you.

It's just difficult not to because you guys have a lot going

on. We all have a lot going on.

It's hard to think.

All right, what's happening ahead of this that is causing

this to occur and they think we can do and things you can

do to kind of help those and we can talk at the end if we

have some time about what those things might be but really

thinking about what's happening ahead of time to stop that

flow to stop some of those behaviors from ever needing to

occur in the first place.

Okay, and so for you guys, For a lot of our kids summer the

big changes to routine and structure right?

So during the school year the mornings are pretty structured.

I can imagine right or they you try to have the mornings

we structured because you've got a kit have kids up breastfed

all their gathering together before they go to daycare in

school and you go to work after school this structure and

routine because the Bedtime bath time dinner homework other

activities, whatever else you have going on.

All those things happen print in a pretty structured manner

over the summer.

Those things are a little bit more lacks, even though you

still have to get up and out the door the structure and routines

not there during the day as much and for them at school school

is a lot of structure a lot of routine.

They go to the same classroom.

They have the same subjects, even if they're in daycare.

They're very scheduled throughout the day and beyond that

changing placements for them structure and routine is different

in each one of your This even if you think you are very similar

to another caregiver and other household, I guarantee you

there things minor things even that are very different in

terms of your structure and routine and the order you do

things and this can be so simple from the order you do bedtime,

right? So maybe you brush teeth and then do PJ's while someone

else does PJs and brush teeth.

Those things can be significant in the eyes of a child.

So the very big changes across the board particularly during

summertime. So what we can do is just Like in the story get

ahead of it by creating schedules and structures to help

avoid common triggers.

So how many of you use some sort of schedule or some sort

of mechanism over the summer during the school year?

Okay, what kind of things do you especially a website called

doorbusters? Okay, doorbusters.com has anyone heard of that?

You can plug in whatever it everyday.

It will give their child awesome to do.

Okay, one of them gets to be the tour police to make sure

that they're excellent.

Okay, so that's tied to Wars okay, excellent everything and

anything fun.

Okay and fuck everything is good good.

What else someone else had their hand up who else uses some

sort of schedule or structure?

Okay, okay.

Good morning doctor saying every morning in heaven quicker.

I'm glad he's gone.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and that's a great point.

I think because like I said, we all like things the way we

like things right and there's a certain comfort in that structure

for them.

Obviously.

It sounds like that.

So when you switch it up, it's almost induces panic because

this is not the way things.

Supposed to be so it actually helps kids feel safer quicker

because they know what the expectation is what the routine

is. It's more predictable.

So those things absolutely make a difference I think in the

household and even something as little as that as changing

from cereal to making pancakes or whatever the homemade recipe.

Is not working because it throws off the routine excellent

so big and small.

So whether you something structured like chore maker toward

chore Buster's I'm going to have right then I'll forget doorbusters.com

or having just your regular routine and whether you're cognizant

of it or not, those things absolutely make a difference.

I have it's gonna be a little bit hard to see but there's

a couple of different tools you can use and these are the

things tho searches just I didn't ask this at this game.

How many of you Kids were like school age or younger?

Okay, Middle School aged High School age.

Okay, so kind of a whole mix but a lot of younger kids it

sounds like so I'm going to show you some examples here that

are good for your kids.

And then I have some other ones that are good for older kids,

but I will tell you I had work with children from like a

year and a half to like 19 years old with these approaches

so they can absolutely be adaptive to age and level of functioning.

I've worked with kids who weren't able to really take two

very eloquent speakers will become exactly what they think

of what we're trying to do is so this these can definitely

be adaptive here home, but my suggestion would be especially

for those of you who have school age children or younger

your home.

Every classroom every school every child care facility has

some sort of structure visual schedule for the kids in there.

So for younger kids, you might see picture schedules with

older kids.

You're going to see more of a rigid schedule, but it's a

schedule right?

So those are simply will brace the consistency between what

they're used to in other environments and in your homes as

well. So there's a couple of different things.

I'm going to start with the easiest one.

How many of you have ever used at first then or if then Turn

anyone a couple people here.

Okay, and it really simple it's just what it says.

So if you do this, then you can have this first you have

to do tours.

Then you can watch TV or whatever.

It might be the power of the if men were the first then whichever

one you want to use it.

You can use it anywhere anytime wherever you are and it helps

you from saying no, so if they come home from school.

Once a I really want cookies.

I want cookies off cookie sure.

You can have cookies first.

You have to have dinner then you can have a cookie.

That's it.

So you're not saying no, which is half the time takes away

that so that actually for this ongoing can from right what's

going on the floor kicking and screaming and crying and begging

for the cookie it helps them take okay, you're not saying

no anymore.

Sure.

You can have it first you need to do this.

It also helps build up that structure so you're not continuously

reminded them you need to do this.

You need to be didn't you have it?

You got to do your homework you got to do this for you can

just say it every night.

And the beauty of that is I consider have on the people's

houses and take took.

She's our Noble Quaker draw a line in the middle right first

and then and then you can write it on there use a dry erase

board even better for kids who are younger pictures are great.

Those are family.

I do not move in with him.

Who have a number of children living in the home at the time

and she had quite a few younger ones and her biggest issue

was they would go outside without shoes on and leave the

sliding door open.

So on like before the sliding door those first shoots that

outside and then there was another one that said let's say

first shoes then close the door or something like that, but

instead of saying it because she had some younger one.

We took pictures of the locate closing the door.

We took pictures with them outside.

So instead of having have the words that were literally this

woman had like these all over her house somebody case but

it worked for her.

That's what worked for them.

So she wasn't constantly reminding some of those things because

they would literally run out the door without shoes play

in the yard and would get bit or bird or whatever and that

was a major concern for her.

So we just put those up and pretty quickly solve the problem.

Honestly, would you wouldn't think something that easy but

just having that visual reminder there is sometimes Enough

and it really means minimize some of that arguing back and

forth. Same thing with older kids.

You can do the same thing with older kids.

A lot of times with older kids.

You can just say this you don't have to necessarily write

that out or you can write it if you need to the other one.

Let's go up here.

So this is just a visual schedule for a daily schedule.

So this one says get dressed but time nature walk art wash

hands, so I'm not sure where that was from like it.

But again, you can go to Google images and search and activities

search clip art for whatever it is and print out the picture

of I do that all the time just pull pictures or take pictures

of the child engaging in it to me taking pictures.

It's of the children is probably the best thing to do.

They like to see pictures of themselves is fine is novel.

It's also not only is it fun a novel for them but you're

showing them exactly what to do in that picture when they're

modeling it right for themselves.

So If we want them to I know sit on the couch and read a

book take a picture of them sitting on the couch reading

but because even though they don't necessarily want to do

it if you're gonna take a picture of them doing it, it's

fun and it's different.

You're not making them sit on the couch and read a book and

then they're active actually need to the behavior.

So they know exactly what you want them to do.

And now there's a picture of them doing it.

So that's one way to do it.

This one in the middle.

So this is just a ribbon and the clothes thats pretty easy

materials. You can use yarn as close as I just clip on there.

This is a little bit more complicated because it involves

velcro and laminations Carter for me anyway, but that is

just again same thing scheduled throughout the day.

So even if it's you know, get up get dressed.

I have some over here all shouting second go to school leave

the Hat.

Get in the car.

That's fine too.

It helps in bed structure and when you have multiple kids

in the home instead of having to go after each child, and

don't forget you got to get dressed.

Don't forget to get your backpack.

Don't forget if the Futures on don't forget to brush your

teeth. You guys gotta worry about yourselves to we're getting

yourself out the door.

So I think the more you can provide some of the independence

to this that user to befall them and this helps teach some

of that responsibility and Independence for those kids as

they continue to get older.

I have a couple of examples here, too.

Was actually from families that I work with.

This is a pretty easy one.

You can just buy on Amazon obviously for like, I don't know.

I think it's like 10 bucks and it comes it's just the sleeve

basically with the little pockets in it and these empty note

card sort of things that you can put in there.

This would be like after school or on the weekend.

You could just put something in here.

You can write whatever you want.

So toward read play lunch Walk activity activity.

Also, what I would do is Like a free choice of activities

do a little bored with what are your activities?

You can choose going to be playing walks?

It can be reading a book.

It could be don't have family whatever it might be.

But again, you're giving those children an opportunity to

make choice and be a little bit more independent, but within

was acceptable acceptable to you, so they're not going to

take on board with nothing to do or can we do this you're

giving them acceptable choices that you like but still allowing

them to have input in that.

Okay, so I mean, this is like I said, you can buy online

you can make something like this pretty simply too if you

wanted to that's one option and the thing I like about something

like this as you can take it out and change it.

There's a bunch of extra ones.

You could write your own there's different ones for different

people get ready for bed.

And on the other side of that one.

So you could have one for each child and each individual.

There.

Is this other program called accountable kids has anyone

heard of this you've heard of it?

Okay, have you used the and this one's a little bit more

complicated. I'll be honest with you order a wooden kind

of piece of wouldn't you can have their the child?

Name engraved in it or not and it has different Hooks and

basically their daily activities on wooden pegs.

And as they do they flip them over and they're done with

it and then they can earn stars and rewards and things like

that. So it's a little bit more challenging.

I think a little bit more complicated but this book actually

has a bunch of different ways you can use it.

So there's lots of different ways you can use it whether

you want to tie in the reward system or not.

That one I think gets a little complicated when you have

multiple kids to be used it when we only yet.

I'm trying okay.

Yeah, it works if you're consistent with it.

Yeah, but it's hard to keep up with.

Yeah, and I would say consistency is the key for all of this.

Yeah, because with the schedule like that the first one I

showed that one it helps if you want to change it up or forget

to use it.

It's not a big deal.

But when you are doing something like this where you're tying

it into rewards and things like that consistency is key and

it's hard because sometimes our life is not necessarily consistent.

So So there's this is another one.

This is actually Melissa and Doug Amazon again.

I'm a big amazon Shopper if you guys didn't figure that out

by now and basically what this is is a responsibility chart.

So this is probably a little bit more similar to the tour

Buster's think and all these have different things on it.

So do your homework make your bed clean up your room, no

teasing helping with chores and then there's some blank ones

where you could write on your own and then each of these

little round ones.

Are basically Stars so way to go amazing super so after they

complete them they can learn the secret on there.

And for the family that uses this one actually they I just

fell out so for each circle the child gets a little challenging

because because they're pretty structured because they have

a couple of languages but they may not necessarily fit the

needs of your home.

And this is also harder when you have like five pages you

need for that and it gets expensive.

So then I have a 1 on the next page.

I'll show you in a minute then last one the star chart thing.

This is great for younger kids who want to watch TV or play

video games or want a Is that something all the time?

This is a good way to give them who don't necessarily have

a concept of time a star chart and you again I did this with

a child last week and do it out on a piece of notebook paper

because I don't care these but again, that's for me.

I'm smiling.

So basically what that is is you can set it up a couple of

different ways so per activity.

So every time you complete an activity appropriately you

can get a star you get a for, you know during breakfast time

if you can eat breakfast with outdoor.

In your bowl and yelling at someone else whatever it might

be. We'll get you a star and when you get your five stars,

then you can have whatever the Box the child that I made

before last week was a little harder because we is like eight

years old, I think and mom was concerned because we eat bread

and cheese.

And cream cheese and butter with his finger.

That is all this out is so she was pretty concerned that

he's like eight years old and will not be anything.

Other than that.

So, you know Fridays we go to Target and they get to pick

up a pick out a cool.

So we sat there and everything is getting the buy-in to from

the child, which is not always going to happen, but it had

them on the same page.

So we're not springing something on it.

So again, I said five boxes on the sheet of paper Monday

Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday, and then Friday had to be like

starving around it and at the bottom I said five new foods

equals new toy.

So every day I might be nice to try new foods.

You don't have to eat it because again when I'm done, Never

do it company bread and cheese and butter to having this

refined palate up here.

But okay so my head and he's not the chunky stuff in it.

I'm I don't know what okay, just lick the spoon because this

is a start right if we disable taste it.

So we got a couple of the spoon and Spoon and that's good.

I could eat that moms like great.

I could even bring a little smiley face stickers and all

that stuff in that one and he's like this was on a Tuesday

so mind if I try something else and I have Monday's us like,

you know.

Which I do not care in my car.

He almost killed enough to be able to cut it to look that

way and he liked it.

So part of it is a fight, right, but part of it is also he

knew begets poised on Friday.

And if you want to that point if I die, he would mitigate

those Stars tickets to eat that so he's funny because he

has pride and what if he tells me he's like tomorrow if I

could It's like come on try but it has to be something you've

never had before so he's made that it's been two weeks.

Now.

I've been doing it.

I should call her today and be like hi Bryon on him.

Is he still doing good stuff, but little things like that.

And that's all it was something like that of visual behind

the visual helped him because it gave him something to work

towards but it also helped mom stay accountable, right because

it's easy to get distracted and forget but when you have

something on your work, Regulator for reminding me it helps

keep you accountable and helps your child remind you that

this is what the work for huge.

So motivated by that toy that they wanted that wedding.

So any questions about any of these and I can give you guys

more information at the end.

If you want I can get your contact me if you have questions

or want to try using any of these things because I think

they're definitely helpful tools for older because a lot

of you have older kids as well.

These are a couple of ideas you can use Some older individuals

in your home.

So this first one I think is funny says today Wi-Fi password

can be unlocked by texting a photo of a clean kitchen from

Mom said photograph must contain one box of crackers on the

camera by the stove to prevent using any previous photos.

Thanks for playing with odd be in your favor love so great.

Great thing for how Wi-Fi passwords are phenomenal for teenagers

or preteen or Anyone else have Electronics or cell phones

or things like that?

You're not taking away their Electronics.

You're not saying you can't use your phone or the computer

or whatever it is.

But you're making the current access to it.

This is an if that right.

That's all that is along the line with that.

But if they have Apple products and I think it also works

with Androids as well.

There's an app called our pact our patent.

Okay?

Oh you are P Act.

Packed yet and the things that the parents can turn off access

to their apps that are on the phone.

Wow, and they can they can have a schedule where it's allowed

at certain times.

There's also a grant or or block they can be used at any

time. You can turn.

It's a great app.

That's great teenagers keeps you from having to change the

password. Because I'll figure it out and know how to reset

the password.

They're very easy.

Yes together.

Absolutely, but there are other ways around that as well.

They get a little bit more complicated.

You're saying for This Not That overlap.

Yeah.

That is very busy.

Is it?

Okay.

I don't know anything about that, but they're obviously I'm

not technologically and they're definitely it's that is a

challenge. I'll be honest.

You outsmarting some of the very technologically smart youth

that we have so but there are ways we can work on that too.

But good to know about the app thing to I've never even heard

of that.

But again, like I said, this is a glorified if then that

we just talked about.

If you do these things, then I'll give you the Wi-Fi password

the thing I love about this one is the mom said a box of

crackers. Let's toast This is a contract and this is for

I think this one was for a 12 year old now the favorite contacts

I have used with very young children and teenagers 18 year

old 17 year old.

It's all in the way that you use it.

So the way that this kind of contract works and obviously

Place she like monster Monster High Monster High.

So I decorate them with whatever they are heard or what they

might them have Disney Princesses I have WWE I have all Strokes

to create the Spider Man 1.

I have lots of different ones based on particular preferences

of the individual because again, I want them to be something

that they like and are enjoying kind of being a part of so

basically the way this works is days a week are across the

top and then the specific responsibilities are down inside.

So this is similar to that most I'm done wouldn't think that

I will show you but this is individualized to each particular

child. This is a lot easier when you have Papers a lot cheaper

than and this is a lot easier just to monitor.

So on this one, for example, the first thing on there is

morning schedule.

So morning schedule is she has to complete all of her items

and condiments morning schedule with no more than two verbal

reminders. So we're taking with an egg hard, right?

And so there's a whole separate ones that are morning schedule.

So 7750 sharp 7:15 to 7:30 get dressed and fresh air.

It's 7:30.

The 740i don't know whatever it might be so lays out basically

minute by minute what the responsibilities she actually has

a clock in her to help remind her another visual for her

and that morning schedule is actually on hopefully you can

see Saturday and Sunday is kind of worried because she doesn't

need to do those things on the weekend.

That's On a weekday schedule and parents have to get up and

out the door when she might have to go to school or wherever

she is working that day.

The next one clearly taking food without permission was an

issue. So that's a snacks.

It says ask permission.

She must ask permission and be told yes before eating a snack

so down here.

We are very clearly defining what each of those things are.

So this is where you make it unique to each individual.

So for someone younger you might not have That in there or

the morning schedule might vary but this is where your powers

and make whatever you want it to be with someone like her

could older.

I would sit down and have a conversation that I'm not.

Okay.

What do we do in the morning?

Like you tell me because I need your by if you're going to

do this and if you skip steps, we're just going to add it

in later.

It's not like you're not going to have to do it.

We'll figure it out added in later homework was another one

so completing homework making sure it says someone mom or

dad looks at me.

Over and make any corrections suggest that goes up again.

That's encompassing what the problem is.

They're so not just like flying through it.

Oh, yeah finishes but actually showing them an amazing suggested

Corrections. So it's not an argument there chores.

So assigned tour for the date that the whole set of teeth

and talks about what is your assigned towards today?

So Mom and Dad can vary that and every tour there is really

clearly defined in terms of what it means though.

It's not just make your bed because making your bed is different

clean your room What are the clean room look like?

No, really So based on experiment and it's based on your

opinion. Right?

So I have saline cleanroom Ford.

Please do not open the closet door where everything was right

putting clothes away is another one right?

So putting clothes away is not folding the - Italy so those

are all those things should be clearly defined.

Those are 14 Envoy that I work with who has was to make his

bed and you would think make your beds fairly straightforward

right pull up the she pull up the comforter and put the pillows

at the head in bed with what Mom and I agreed with her dad

was ex-military and things like that additional make Bed,

so I think the fourteen-year-old thought he was partying

like would kind of mess around with it.

We're doubters like no that's not going to cut it it got

the point because we didn't change it without talking to

him when he didn't do it with it.

Okay.

So now moving forward this also means this it got to the

point where the definition for making your bed.

Looks like Each corner each comforter in each seat has to

be 14 inches off the floor whatever it was so I could dad

would go around and measure but it can't so you can really

look at that.

So whatever the things are here.

Basically you would work to identify those talk about what's

fair the keyword that like I do talk about with my little

14 old friend is you can only count with up there.

So if we did say initially every corner the comfortable comforter

has to be however many inches off the floor.

I can't Mark him down so that because not fair right and

that causes friction and arguments and disagreements all

that, but I Say all right, like you're smart.

I like the way you found that loophole but now we got to

make sure the numbers even all the way around and if that's

not clear enough, then we can go to measuring the corner

and things of that nature is funny because you might think

you're clear until you like see what's actually having good.

Wow.

I have no idea what I was talking about.

The other thing something like this does help get everyone

on the same page.

So we talked about you guys all laugh.

And I said, what's a clean room?

Could we all have different ideas of what the clean room

is, right?

Even in your own home, you might have different ideas of

what clean really is.

You might find something to be really frustrating and annoying.

We're someone else might not even notice it or care about

so really identifying what you're talking about helps everybody

in this situation the way that works afterward is I swear

this is you think food without permission shall not have

access to electronic for the day.

So taking food was a significant issue obviously Electronics

work a pretty high preferred.

So that's why that was on there.

I think like that.

So the way it works, so whatever 3 homework is blacked out

for Saturday and Sunday as well.

This one has to do with having a good day at school is grayed

out as well and started some because they don't count.

Basically what we do is this set of criteria.

I usually had to put one in there that's fairly easy at first

for them to be able to achieve it because you don't want

to set the bar here again, like if it's not being done you

want to make sure you build up to that point, right?

So basically what it is here.

Let's say heard.

If you have to ask access or shatter earn for initials a

day initials, don't put a checkmark don't put a smiley face.

Those are really easy to copy your so I asked for initials

in ink so, you know, it's your initials.

It can't be erased or altered and it shows are still replicable.

But usually you can tell the difference between your own

and someone else trying to copy or is right.

So they earn for initials day per day and then hers is 22

per week what that guys.

Into is a daily and a weekly privilege.

So the daily privilege is essentially anything that they

first let me back privileges when they ask for something

put it on the sheet.

It's either daily privilege or weekly privilege or monthly

privilege, whatever you wanted to dictate as based on the

size and then they earned those.

So again what I said earlier, you're not saying no, you can't

have it there might be some things you're saying.

No you can't have but I remember one little guy was like

Want a brand-new bike moms, like all right, that's not a

monthly privilege.

Either that we can maybe earn money towards but again anything

they ask for you put on a sheet of paper a daily privilege.

I have lost two sheets of papers for all of these different

things and then they can earn those on daily basis.

So daily privileges are smaller things that don't take a

lot of time money effort.

So staying up a little bit later getting extra time on electronics

special desserts.

They only get if they earn it.

Privileged as should not be things that they have access

to all the time, right?

Because if they have it all the time, why are they gonna

kind of work to earn some of those things?

So if they're able to just stay up as late as so hot.

Sorry, that wasn't for example, but let's just say they're

able to stay up when it till whenever they want staying up

an extra 15 minutes isn't going to make a difference right?

But if you have been times at 8 o'clock or 9 o'clock, but

you can stay up an extra half hour.

You can watch an episode you can have control of the remote

control within reason.

Right, you can have sit in the front seat.

You can pick the radio station.

There's a ton of different things privileges can also be

I'm gonna do your chore tonight.

You don't have to empty the dishes.

I'm going to do them or wash the dishes chores can be a break.

You can go hang out in my room and watch TV.

I'm going to take care of everything else or deal with the

kids like you can have time away.

So be creative when you're thinking about the Privileges

and again ask so what would you like and some of the things

are going to be outrageous, but they we'll definitely be

some things in there that are appropriate and I think the

more you can engage and involve the children in this and

the youth in this the more realistic and the more by and

they're going to have in it as well weakly privileges are

things that are a little bit bigger.

Usually those involves may be leaving the house or having

individuals come to the house.

I don't even know movies and of people who don't know anymore

having friends over going somewhere going having pizza on

Friday. That's it.

And that's a great one that you can do as a family right

that they can all earn like a pizza party on Friday where

you get a pizza and watch a movie together or something that

and your daily privilege might be you get to pick the movie

or you I mean the different ways you can kind of navigate

that when you have multiple kids so with multiple kids in

the home, you can tie some of those in together.

So I've had on some of these where one of the responsibilities

is playing with your siblings or getting along with everyone

else in the home having nice.

Has nice feet and nice words.

The other thing I put on there to help a lot of us to is

having one-on-one time with each of the kids in your home

put that on each of their contracts because that's important.

We went back and talked talking about the attention one,

right? So a lot of behaviors are because they get your attention

if I know it's on there and every day I'm guaranteed 15 minutes

of unearned in uninterrupted time.

Is I'm not going to necessarily have seek it out because

I know I have that time that I'm going to be able to talk

to you or share with you or just hang out with you.

Even if I say, I don't want to so putting that in there.

It's a great thing for a lot of the families that I work

with us as well because it minimizes some of those other

behaviors and again the way the how many per day and all

that is kind of dictated on that individual.

You don't want to make it unachievable, but you don't want

to make it so easy you're constantly doing things and giving

things out other families tie this into Allowance, so let's

say allowances $15 a week.

I don't know each of those boxes could represent like 50

cents or whatever is basically how so they earn it's not

there either all or not.

They might get $7 one week or $50.

Yes.

Awesome.

I've seen those.

Yeah, and I like the way you use I took as I've seen some

families are like, all right, we're getting pizza night.

Maybe they had pizza at school that day.

They don't want it.

So letting them choose because sometimes it's hard for them

to be like, I don't know.

I don't know what the reasonable thing I could earn today.

What is an option?

So that's why I said anytime they ask for it.

I put it on the list of privileges but those books are great

too because they give you pretty simple things that they

can earn free or like Red Box rental.

You can look those up you get those clothes all day long.

I'm like, so something like that getting to rent a movie

or a video game or something like that.

So there's lots of different ways to adapt this.

I think we are almost out of time.

I'm just gonna end it here.

My contact information is up at the bottom.

Are there any other questions comments feedback at this point?

Yes, the same is true of us has done in case anybody for

Buster's dotnet not.com if anyone is interested in that if

you have questions or want more information either shoot

me an e-mail, or I can take your information up here and

share some of this information with you.

I have all this stuff up here as well.

Thank you guys.

I've got a cool down and here to thank you.