Working at “greater depth within the expected

standard” at the end of Key Stage 2 – a guide.

What do the ‘greater depth’ statements for writing mean,

and what could they look like?

Written by S Heritage and K Taylor for ESCC Standards and Learning Effectiveness Service

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IntroductionThis guide has been written in order to support teachers’ understanding of the statements that make up the “greater depth within the expected standard” criteria and the range of ways pupils may demonstrate that they are meeting these statements.

Please note:

It is important to remember that in order to make a judgement (at any standard), you must look at evidence across a range of writing. Individual pieces cannot be judged as they will not clearly demonstrate a child’s ability or show sufficient evidence of consistent ability over time.

The first three statements within the greater depth standard are interdependent and interconnected. This means that a piece which shows evidence of one of these three statements is very likely to evidence the others as well. Nevertheless, teachers must make sure that, across the collection, all the individual skills within the standard are evidenced sufficiently.

There is no requirement for pupils to use every punctuation mark taught in key stage 2. Pupils should be encouraged to think about the best way to punctuate in order to make meaning clear to the reader and have a greater impact. Whatever punctuation pupils use should be used correctly.

At the back of this guide, there are 10 pieces of writing which have been included in order to support understanding and demonstrate key points. It must be noted that, alone, these pieces cannot be judged as being at ‘greater depth within the expected standard’. They have, however, come from collections which have been judged as meeting the requirements for ‘greater depth within the expected standard’.

Working at Greater DepthThe pupil can:

Write effectively for a range of purposes and audiences, selecting the appropriate form and drawing independently on that they have read as models for their own writing (e.g. literary language, characterisation, structure)

Distinguish between the language of speech and writing3 and choose the appropriate register

Exercise an assured and conscious control over levels of formality, particularly through manipulating grammar and vocabulary to achieve this

Use the range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 correctly (e.g. semi-colons, dashes, colons, hyphens) and, when necessary, use such punctuation precisely to enhance meaning and avoid ambiguity.

[There are no additional statements for spelling or handwriting]

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Top tips for supporting pupils towards achieving “greater depth within the expected standard” at the

end of Key Stage 2.

Use high quality, rich text extracts so that the children can see how real writers write.

Unpick the standard with them. Discuss what the statements mean and talk to pupils about writing (both by other pupils and by established writers) that demonstrates these statements.

Show them examples from exemplifications and peer work. Give them ownership and choice over genres/ text types/

purposes/ audiences for at least some of the pieces they write and get them to talk about and justify these choices sometimes.

Ensure that they are clear about the purpose of the writing and who the intended audience is.

Make sure that your learning intentions and success criteria are not closed. Allow them to be developmental rather than prescriptive.

Or, even better: Allow them to create their own success criteria based on what they think the writing requires and what they want to showcase.

Ask them to explain the choices they have made. Talk to them about the effect different choices can have on a piece of writing.

Actively encourage them to experiment and take risks with their writing.

Get them to ‘repurpose’ old pieces or write the same piece (or sections of a piece) in several different ways (e.g: for a different audience, making different word choices, changing the structure etc.)

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STATEMENT 1

The pupil can write effectively for a range of purposes and audiences, selecting the appropriate form and drawing independently on what they have read as models for their own writing (e.g. literary language, characterisation, structure).

This statement means that the language and content of each piece (being used for assessment) reflects the child’s extensive reading of both fiction and non-fiction texts, as well as their experience of events in the wider world. Each piece of writing suits the purpose it has been written for (i.e. to entertain, persuade, inform etc) and skilfully maintains the features of the genre throughout. In each piece, there is clear evidence that the audience has been carefully considered and the writer has written with that audience in mind. This is evident in the range of structural and stylistic features the writer has chosen.

KEY WORDS FROM THE STATEMENT

1. ‘Effectively’ – in order to write effectively, a writer must consider PACA:

The Purpose (or intention) of the piece. Writers must begin with a clear idea of what they are trying to achieve by writing the piece.

The Audience of the piece. Who are they writing for? How does the writing need to be adapted to suit the audience?

How to Craft the piece. What are the best strategies to use in order achieve the purpose and appeal to the audience? What choices will they make with words, sentence structure, overall text organisation?

Ensuring Accuracy. Errors (not only in spelling, grammar and punctuation but also poor organisation and sudden shifts in topic) are likely to distract the audience from the purpose and minimise the effectiveness of the piece.

2. ‘Appropriate’ – writers need to be able to choose the form (or genre) that best suits the purpose of the piece. The features and conventions of the particular form chosen should be consistent and controlled, although a skilful writer may manipulate or ‘subvert’ particular conventions. Whatever choices the writer is making, they need to be suitable (appropriate) for the audience and purpose. They must also clearly be choices and not errors.

3. ‘Independently’ – this refers to the child using ideas and techniques, which they have seen in books, without prompting from an adult. Independence is key as it means that the writing is a true demonstration of what the child can do.

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Examples of what evidence for statement 1 could look like in a pupil’s work

Please note: The following extracts demonstrate specific techniques or strategies used by a pupil writer. These are not definitive, nor can they, on their own, justify a judgement of GDS. The complete pieces are attached in the appendix, for your reference.

App. Extract/ quotation Technique/ strategy How does this meet the statement?

A

I is the BFG (Big Friendly Giant) and I and my tiny friend Sophie

is needing your asiftance)

Draws on knowledge of the text to mimic the ‘voice’ of the

character

The intentional mis-spellings and grammatical idiosyncrasies resemble the original and are skilfully deployed throughout

the letter.

B

I have fought endless battles and I have survived every

single one.

Co-ordinating sentence which balances the many battles with the singular fact of his survival.

Develops and deepens the reader’s understanding of the

strength and bravery of the character.

B

a death-defying roar filled the air and made the ground

shake…with a stare as cutting as steel…The hawk-eyed

beast…it flashed its vicious fangs

Literary (figurative) language Vividly depicts the drama of the final encounter with the

mythical beast, creating a poignant ending.

C

Ardipithecus ramidus: Use of sub-headings and images

The text is organised logically, making it easy for the intended

audience (year 6 pupils) to follow. The images help to

break up the text, engaging the reader and providing a focal

point.

Other strategies/ techniques pupil writers may use which could help to demonstrate this statement:

1) Implying rather than stating - the ‘show, don’t tell’ approach.2) Ensuring that the sequence of events builds towards a (possibly surprising) climax in

order to keep the reader engaged from beginning to end. 3) Short phrases or sentences, in quick succession, may be used in order to create a

sense of urgency or anticipation.4) Vocabulary, such as nouns, verbs and adjectives are specifically chosen for their

purpose and effect. There is evidence that less effective word choices have been reviewed and discarded.

5) Facts are selected for both their relevance and their impact (particularly in non-fiction writing but may also apply to fiction).

6) Pieces are structured logically and coherently, allowing the reader to follow the point/ argument easily. EG: the opening paragraph sets up the subject and each subsequent paragraph develops and expands.

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7) Imitating or ‘borrowing’ structures and/ or word choices from their wider reading appropriately and with a clear purpose.

STATEMENT 2

The pupil can distinguish between the language of speech and writing and choose the appropriate register.

Pupils should recognise that certain features of spoken language (e.g. contracted verb forms, other grammatical informality, colloquial expressions, long coordinated sentences) are less likely in writing and be able to select alternative vocabulary and grammar.NOTE: While dialogue could provide some evidence for this statement, evidence for the skill will be broader than this. Pupil writers will need to demonstrate a clear understanding of what each type of writing should sound like.

KEY WORDS/ PHRASES FROM THE STATEMENT1. ‘The language of speech’ – this phrase describes the specific words and phrases we

use when we talk but would not necessarily use when we write. (EG: ‘holding’ words such as ‘like’, ‘well’, ‘ah’)

2. ‘Register’ – the form (or style) of language associated with a particular social situation or subject matter, such as slang, legal language, or journalese. Pupil writers need to understand that the language we use will change depending on the situation or purpose, affecting vocabulary and grammar choices.

As the reader, you should ask yourself whether the language is appropriate for the task.

Examples of what evidence for statement 2 could look like in a pupil’s work

Please note: The following extracts demonstrate specific techniques or strategies used by a pupil writer. These are not definitive, nor can they, on their own, justify a judgement of GDS. The complete pieces are attached in the appendix, for your reference.

App. Extract/ quotation How does this meet the statement?

C Scientific names (eg: Ardipithecus ramidus), precise vocabulary choices (recorded, adapted, conserve) and impersonal constructions (It is well known that…)

Achieves a relatively formal register which Is appropriate to the text type (an information text about evolution)

C Did you know that…? Surprisingly, these ‘humans’ didn’t wear any clothes

The choice of language supports an informal, conversational tone which is appropriate for the intended audience, and intrigues and engages the reader.

D One should not be too concerned…; It is widely believed that…; …when it was initially sold…; …would allow the owner…

Adopts and sustains a formal register which is entirely appropriate to the purpose and text type (evaluative report) through the use of impersonal pronouns (one; it), the passive voice, modal verbs and precise vocabulary.

J Okay. Let me explain. You know all those books Consciously adopts a highly informal register in

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and movies about Peter Pan and Neverland and stuff?

keeping with the context. Language resonant of speech recreates the narrator’s casual, chatty style when addressing his blog as a familiar old friend.

STATEMENT 3

The pupil can exercise an assured and conscious control over levels of formality, particularly through manipulating grammar and vocabulary to achieve this.

Pupil writers must understand, and be able to manage effectively, differing levels of formality, ranging from the highly informal to the very formal. Since the changes to the framework in 2017/18, there is no longer a need for pupils to manage shifts between levels of formality within a single piece of writing. However, pupils working at ‘greater depth’ must demonstrate the ability to manipulate grammar and vocabulary according to the context of the writing. The emphasis on ‘assured and conscious control’ refers to the fact that the choices made in their writing are deliberate and considered.

KEY WORDS/ PHRASES FROM THE STATEMENT1. ‘assured and conscious control’ – it is evident in the writing that the pupil fully

understands what a piece of writing at that particular level of formality should include. There are no ‘lapses’ or sudden losses of formality. The choices and strategies are clear and consistent throughout the piece.

2. ‘manipulating’ – the grammar and vocabulary used is accurate, appropriate and managed skilfully. There is evidence across the range of writing that the pupil is able to adapt and change word choices/ grammatical structures in order to achieve maximum impact for the reader.

NOTE:

When there are changes between a formal and an informal register within one piece of writing, the writer must have made the changes for a particular reason and the ‘shifts’ must be appropriate for the purpose and audience of the writing.

It may be helpful, on occasion, to get pupils to write a short explanation detailing why they have made particular choices, especially if a choice seems ‘odd’. However, it should be evident within the writing alone that pupils routinely make clear and meaningful choices about their writing.

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Examples of what evidence for statement 3 could look like in a pupil’s work

Please note: The following extracts demonstrate specific techniques or strategies used by a pupil writer. These are not definitive, nor can they, on their own, justify a judgement of GDS. The complete pieces are attached in the appendix, for your reference.

App. Level of formality How does this meet the statement?

E Mainly formal but with some informal choices for engagement

The balanced argument adopts and maintains a highly formal style appropriate to its audience, purpose and subject matter. An authoritative tone is achieved through precise and often subject-specific vocabulary (deforestation… rainforest… economically developed… citizens… hazard… detrimental… arboreal… ground-dwelling), whilst more informal choices (a patch of rainforest… a chunk of rainforest) invite the reader to draw familiar analogies (60 full-sized football pitches… the size of Switzerland). Agentless passives (is being demolished… it has been deemed that… should be reduced), including an impersonal ‘it’ construction (It is estimated that), support the writer’s seemingly objective stance by attributing no blame. Expanded noun phrases (One of the most debated and problematic issues of this century, deforestation… the less economically developed countries… a number of disastrous consequences) and precise use of nouns (opportunity… consequences… contribution… consideration… destruction) add weight and gravitas to the writing.

F Balances formal explanation with informal asides to the reader

Opening with a rhetorical question helps to draw the reader into the text, setting a question that will be answered through later reading. An appropriate level of informality is achieved by direct address to the reader through the use of the second person (you) followed by a command (keep on reading), common features of interactive non-fiction texts published for children. The use of the passive form and impersonal constructions (were invented, are traditionally worn, there is an all male ballet company) show an assured and conscious control over the level of formality that is appropriate for this type of writing.

H Formal The letter deploys a level of formality befitting the character of the deceitful Basilisk in an attempt to dupe Dumbledore into expelling Harry from Hogwarts. The somewhat pompous tone is achieved through assured vocabulary choices (a matter of utmost importance… my duty to inform you… restricted section… strictly forbidden… Undoubtedly… unacceptable behaviour) and manipulation of grammar, including agentless passives (he has been caught many times… he has been seen in… should be expelled from) and the considered use of modal verbs (you will expel… this may lead… you will agree… should be expelled).

J Informal The blog deliberately deploys informal vocabulary and grammatical constructions to create a highly assured and original narrative. A conversational style is established through the use of second-person direct address (I haven’t seen you in a while… You get the idea), casual asides (my face hurt for a while after that… I play Battle Mechs too much), elliptical sentence fragments (Or at least not anymore… Again, no sign of Emma or Peter) and use of co-ordinating conjunctions to start a sentence (And I was only about… But this is the first time). Peter’s distinctive voice is captured through the use of abbreviated forms (gotta… ‘round here… give ‘em) and colloquial vocabulary (newbies… nick) in contrast with Emma’s slightly more formal manner (Which he is not… Stay with me and get ready to shoot at any moment).

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But - what is the difference between Statement 2 and Statement 3?

Actually, not a huge amount! Register and formality go hand in hand and it is difficult - if not impossible! - to separate them. It might be helpful to think of them as two sides of the same coin, with the level of formality being best explained as the use of the appropriate register consistently across the whole piece.

GDS Statement 2 GDS Statement 3distinguish between the language of exercise an assured and conscious controlspeech and writing and choose the over levels of formality, particularly appropriate register through manipulating grammar and

vocabulary to achieve this

Register denotes the choice of Formality denotes the grammaticalLanguage (whether that be formal or structures, vocabulary, and punctuationInformal) you make to match a given used to suit the writing context.situation. Is the level of formality appropriate andIs the language appropriate? controlled?

REMEMBERThe four GDS statements are fundamentally ‘inter-connected’ and it is actually not helpful to try to separate the evidence for them. A pupil who is able to demonstrate “an assured and conscious control over levels of formality” will, at the same time, be demonstrating that they can write effectively for a purpose and will, in all likelihood, be demonstrating a sound grasp of grammatical structures and using punctuation for effect. Of the three standards, GDS is the one that most requires a wholistic approach. Judgements for this standard should always be rooted in the overall security and effect of the writing rather than ‘feature spotting’.

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FORMAL versus INFORMAL: Grammatical structuresSome features that may indicate

informalitySome features that may indicate

formalityContracted forms, for example:

Let’s get you an ice pack… They wouldn’t have…if they hadn’t... They’ve taken the sheep!

Some modal verbs in certain grammatical structures, for example:

Should it rain, we may have to cancel the picnic.

This village would appear normal… Most people might ask…

Question tags, for example:

He’s your friend, isn’t he? These are your shoes, aren’t they?

The subjunctive, for example:

If I were to come in… Were they to come in… They requested that he leave

immediately.

‘Multi-word’ verbs, for example:

find out rather than discover ask for rather than request

Some use of abstract nouns, and noun phrases used as the subject of the verb, for example:

Darkness was being whispered in… …full of despair. Of course, the most significant matter of

evacuation is…

Passives using ‘get’, for example:

I got my hair cut last week. He got told off by the teacher.

Impersonal passive constructions, for example:

It is widely believed that… You are provided with a life-jacket… Flocks of sheep have been taken…

Second person direct address to the reader, and some usage of first person, for example:

If you love a challenge – however difficult – then you will…

Are you nervous about the London trip? When we arrived at school we…

The personal pronoun ‘one’, for example:

One should not be concerned about… It is better to do this oneself.

Vernacular (everyday) language, including idioms, for example:

…do your bit for the war. …the words are stuck in my throat. Take selfies with no teacher in!

Vocabulary that is technical, or context/subject-specific, for example:

…plea for mercy… …oil producers… plantations… non-

sustainable… …these are my words of farewell.

Features that replicate spoken language, such as ellipsis, discourse markers and some non-standard forms, for example:

‘OK…what time?’ ‘Eleven.’ Well stop right there! “C’mon, he wasn’t doin’ nothin’!”

Nominalisation (use of nouns rather than verbs or adjectives), for example:

The arrival of the mysterious stranger caused considerable excitement, rather than We were very excited when the mysterious stranger arrived.

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STATEMENT 4

The pupil can use the range of punctuation taught at key stage 2 correctly (e.g. semi-colons, dashes, colons, hyphens) and, when necessary, use such punctuation precisely to enhance meaning and avoid ambiguity.

At GDS, any punctuation used must be used ‘correctly’. Contrast this with the requirement for ‘mostly correctly’ at EXS. This means there should be few (if any) errors and punctuation must be used precisely. Pupils need to understand the role punctuation plays in ensuring that the text is not misinterpreted and how it can be used for effect. For example, pupils should understand the difference between: “Eats, shoots and leaves” and “Eats shoots and leaves”.

There is no requirement for pupils to evidence ALL the punctuation taught across the key stage within the pieces being assessed. (EG: if a pupil has not used semi-colons in any of the assessed pieces, but the rest of the punctuation is accurate, this does not mean the pupil does not meet GDS). However, teachers must ensure that pupils understand all the punctuation detailed in the national curriculum and pupils must be able to make clear, informed choices about the punctuation they use.

KEY WORDS/ PHRASES FROM THE STATEMENT1. ‘Enhance meaning’ – this is punctuation that allows the reader to better

understand the intended impact or importance of a particular word, phrase or sentence and also ensures the reader is not confused or mis-led by what is written.

2. ‘Ambiguity’ – when a word or phrase could have several possible meanings, punctuation may be used to clarify the intention.

In all 10 of the example pieces referenced in this guide, the punctuation is sufficiently accurate to meet the statement. It is evident within each piece that punctuation is used to support and guide the reader effectively.

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Examples of where writers have used punctuation to ‘enhance meaning’ and ‘avoid ambiguity’. Punctuation used

Example

Commas to clarify and/or avoid miscues

Every nights, colossal, gro-esque giants is gobbling up childrens, defouring them whole [Appendix A]

Shuffling closer, the warrior stumbled… [Appendix B]

These ‘humans’ lived on the ground, not in the trees [Appendix C]

As trees take in carbon dioxide and give out oxygen, less gas can be taken in and less oxygen is being given. [Appendix E]

Commas, dashes, colons and/ or semi-colons to control long, multi-clause sentences

Afters that, I is going to leads the army to Giant Country and, once the giants is dreamings, they is going to swoops down, securings them in a considerable sized net [Appendix A]

Peering closely at the beast, he saw thick tussocks of hair that covered hideous scars; the Fenrir stood tall – the size of a bull [Appendix B]

… and that they do not cut down the trees on purpose – they have no choice. [Appendix E]

And, as if this was not enough, when the dim-witted half-giant, Reubeus Hagrid, bought a dragon egg, which is strictly forbidden, Harry helped the great oaf to keep the dragon a secret until it was ready to be taken away… [Appendix H]

Semi-colons and/ or colons to mark the boundary between independent clauses

But you needs not fret: I is having a plan to defeat these evil, child-munching monsters [Appendix A]

The beast collapsed beside him: the battle was finally over. [Appendix B]

…they both felt the pain he had spoken of; his words angrily wrenched at their hearts… [Appendix B]

The shoe itself is black, flat and stylish; the reason for this is… [Appendix D]

Punctuation for parenthesis

…a very long time ago (2.5 million years ago). [Appendix C]

…as, although it is quite uninteresting and dull, this is actually… [Appendix D]

Animals that are arboreal (live in trees)… [Appendix E]

Being the great and wise man you are, after reading these numerous reasons, you will expel Harry Potter… [Appendix H]

Hyphens to avoid ambiguity

Flesh-Lump Eater… [Appendix A]

a death-defying roar [Appendix B]

The hawk-eyed beast… [Appendix B]

ground-dwelling [Appendix E]

… dim-witted half-giant… [Appendix H]

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Appendices

PLEASE NOTE - These ten pieces come from collections judged to be ‘working at greater depth within the expected standard’ but cannot be judged as greater depth as individual pieces. While a single piece of writing may show some evidence that the child is able to use the skills described in the standard, no one piece will demonstrate the full range required for meeting any of the standards.

Any judgement of GDS (and of EXS and WTS!) must take into account a range of evidence produced over the full year. Please avoid making any overall judgements against the standards before the end of year 6. (See the SLES writing tracker if you need assistance with making ‘in-year’ judgements.)

Index:Appendix Form/ title Page no

A A formal letter based on The BFG by Roald Dahl 14

B A myth – The Final Battle 15

C An extract from an information text on evolution 17

D An extract from evaluative report about shoe styles

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E A balanced argument about deforestation 20

F An explanation text about pointe shoes 21

G A diary entry based on The Giant’s Necklace by Michael Morpurgo

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H A letter of complaint based on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J K Rowling

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I A fable – How the koala got its shout, based on the Just So stories by Rudyard Kipling

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J A blog (loosely!) based on Peter Pan and Neverland

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PS: These pieces have been retyped from the original scripts to ensure better readability. Care has been taken to ensure that the pieces remain as faithful as possible to the original work.

APPENDIX A (from STA standardisation exercise 2019/20)

Context: pupils were asked to write a formal letter to the queen, from a fictional character of their choice, asking for her help. The pupil chose to write as Roald Dahl’s ‘BFG’.

The BFG The Cave in The Mossy Mountains

Giant LandGiant Country

GC9 1MM

Queen Elizabeth IIBugglingham PalaceLondonBP8 QE11

Our Spegtacular Queen,

I is the BFG (Big Friendly Giant) and I and my tiny friend Sophie is needing your asiftance. Your Majesty, our Monarch, the Ruler of - Er - straight lines, Ingurland is in dan-ger, therefore we is needing as much help as we is able to obtains.

Every nights, colossal, gro-esque giants is gobbling up childrens, defouring them whole. I is beliefing there is five of these criminals: the Flesh-Lump Eater, the Bone Crusher, the Child Chewer, the Meat Dripper and the Butcher Boy. These awful beings is needing to be stopped. But, you needs not fret: I is having a plan to defeat these evil, child-munching monsters.

Firstly, I is needing you to contact the armed fork-ies. Next, I is going to key-ate a dream so the giants sees what foul beasties they is. Afters that, I is going to leads the army to Giant Country and, once the giants is dreamings, they is going to swoops down, securings them in a considerables sized net. They then is going to banish thems on an iso-lollied island, where they is never goings to bothers any more innocent childrens again.

Your Majesty, I hope you is going to assists us in our plan. We really is needings your help.

Your Sincerelys

Your Humbug Servant,

The BFG

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APPENDIX B (from STA standardisation exercise 2017/18)

Context: As part of themed work on Norse mythology, pupils explored a range of stories and poetry, and watched the short video ‘The saga of Biorn’ before writing their own version of the Viking warrior’s final battle with the savage, wolf-like Fenrir.

The final battle

“Arvid and Eamon, my forever friends, tomorrow I shall face my final assignment,” Biorn stated while sharpening his sword. “I have fought endless battles and I have survived every single one; however, my scars are aching and my bones are growing weaker. I must defeat the ferocious Fenrir.”

The fearless Viking stopped sharpening his weapon and pulled his forever friends towards him. “My dreams are filled with Valhalla and the gold, shiny gates that will be waiting when I die an honourable death; I will finally get to lay my weapons down for the very last time,” he said quietly. “as soon as the sun rises, I shall set off to kill the Fenrir and what will be, will be.”

Arvid and Eamon remained completely silent. They had stood by their trustworthy friend during many of his battles and they both felt the pain he had spoken of; his words angrily wrenched at their hearts but they knew that Biorn’s choice had been made and they respected this.

The very next morning, at sunrise, Biorn bravely stepped out of his home, one that he would never see again, into the biting cold mist to journey to the moorlands where he knew he would find the evil Fenrir. He wasn’t sure that he would be able to defeat the monster and he thought about the battles previously fought; he remembered that he had won every one of them and this filled him with confidence. Suddenly, thunder started to rumble and lightening thrashed towards the ground: soon Biorn was soaked. But the warrior knew that he was strong and sturdy so he persevered, pushing on across the moor to meet his fate. Out of nowhere, a death-defying roar filled the air and made the ground shake. Biorn’s heart raced with fear. Then, out the corner of his eye, he noticed something glaring at him with a stare as cutting as steel. A large trickle of sweat dripped down his face and he grabbed his sword and loyal shield. Peering

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closely at the beast, he saw the thick tussocks of hair that covered hideous scars; the Fenrir stood tall – the size of a bull. Shuffling closer, the warrior stumbled and the beast seethed with fury at the sight of Biorn as his face suddenly hardened. Biorn froze…

The hawk-eyed beast stared straight at the brave Viking warrior with a cold, sinister look. Its eyes glared with pure hatred as it flashed its vicious fangs: hot steam swiftly surrounded Biorn as it poured from the Fenrir’s nostrils. Biorn crouched low, staring back at the monstrous creature. Stomping savagely, it moved in his direction and moments later the brutal battle commenced…

Some time later, with only a small amount of energy left, the ferocious Fenrir dug its claws deeply into Biorn’s aging heart. The warrior let out a raging cry which ripped through the land; in his very last moments he grabbed his trusty sword and thrust it deep into his chest. The beast collapsed beside him: the battle was finally over.

APPENDIX C (from STA standardisation exercise 2017/18)

Context: this extract from a longer piece of work about evolution, formed part of pupils’ science work on how things have changed over time. Pupils were asked to select their own area of interest and produce a piece of work that could be included in a year 6 class science journal.

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Ardipithecus ramidus:

An interesting fact is that human life started about 4 to 5 million years ago. Did you know that the first ever ‘man’ recorded was hunched over with a bent and curved back? He used his arms and his legs to walk; he did not

walk like we do today. Furthermore, his arms were extremely short and very, very weak. This incredible animal did not need strong arms though due to eating mainly roots and insects from the floor.

Homo habilis:

Life for this animal started a very long time ago (2.5 million years ago). However, the early humans had developed and adapted so they could make life easier. Surprisingly, these interesting creatures had larger brains and a larger skull than we do now. These early humans mostly ate meat – instead of vegetables – for protein, to build up their strength.

Homo ergaster

This primative creature started life 1.7 million years ago; there was a gradual climate change across the world where the weather became cooler and the ‘human’ that was living had to adapt to the environment it was in. These ‘humans’ lived on the ground, not in the trees like the creatures that lived before them.

Homo neanderthalensis

These thoughtful creatures lived between 1 million and 500, 000 years ago. They had short and wide bodies to conserve their heat so they could keep warm when it was cold.

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These ‘humans’ moved around a lot and built many shelters using mud, leaves, sticks, and branches that could be found in their environment.

Homo sapiens Homo sapiens lived about 500,000 years ago. Surprisingly, these ‘humans’ didn’t wear any clothes at all and they had almost no excess hair either. These ‘humans’ have straighter backs than they used to when they more ‘ape-like’, which probably means that they moved in a similar way to how we do today. It is well-known that these people were very smart and intelligent and used their understanding to hunt larger animals for food, to survive.

APPENDIX D (from STA standardisation exercise 2017/18)

Context: this report is an extract from a longer piece, which evaluated 3 types of shoe. Having revisited the features of non-chronological reports, pupils were asked to select an item that they might buy and evaluate its features and suitability for purpose.

Girls’ smart shoe

One should not be too concerned about the basic look of this shoe as, although it is quite uninteresting and dull, this is actually the exact look that the manufacturer was hoping for. The overall style of this shoe is smart therefore it is

suitable to be worn at school, or during an important occasion such as a family outing or funarel funeral. The shoe itself is black, flat and stylish; the reason for this is due to the fact that children are required to dress presentably for school, and consequently are not allowed to have brightly coloured, patterned or styled shoes. They are well-known by their everyday name, the dolly

shoe; they do not have any laces so they are easy to slip on and off. Furthermore, they are produced using leather (this means that they will last for a longer time than a synthetic

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material and they are value for your money). Mostly, the dolly shoe attracts young girls: the metal heart at the front of the toe and the very small heel, which is situated at the rear of the shoe, draw the attention of the female target audience.

It is widely believed that this shoe could be improved by allowing a special spray polish to be sold in conjunction with the product itself; this would allow the owner to ensure that the shoe remains in a perfect condition, like it was when it was initially sold.

APPENDIX E (from STA standardisation exercise 2018/19)

Context: after studying the Amazon rainforest in geography, the pupil chose to write a balanced argument about deforestation.

One of the most debated and problematic issues of this century, deforestation is the process of clearing away huge amounts of rainforest at a time. It is estimated that, per minute, a patch of rainforest equivalent to that of 60 full-sized football pitches or, in other words, a chunk of rainforest the size of Switzerland is being demolished every year, and experts predict that, in 30 – 50 years time, all rainforests will be gone.

For the less economically developed countries, the citizens see deforestation not as a hazard to our planet, but as an opportunity to earn money and make a living. Stopping the deforestation business would prevent them from making any money. People also argue that it would be extremely difficult to extract the coffee beans, cocoa beans and the plants we need for medicines without cutting down forest.

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However, deforestation can also cause a number of disastrous consequences, perhaps the most detrimental of them being its contribution to global warming. All the machinery used to cut down and transport the wood releases huge amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, making the air we breathe in lethal for humans and animals. As trees take in carbon dioxide and give out oxygen, less gas can be taken in and less oxgygen is being given. Animals that are arboreal (live in trees) and other animals may lose their food source. To make it easier to get through the rainforest, the workers build roads which could crush ground-dwelling animals.

After much consideration, it has been deemed that the process of deforestation should be reduced to the minimum, or that the effects must be contradicted by planting more trees: some people still believe though that the destruction of the rainforest is good practice. Local farmers say they have no land to grow crops and that they do not cut down the trees on purpose – they have no choice. However, most people believe that planting more trees is the right thing to do.

APPENDIX F (from KS2 Exemplification materials: Frankie)

Context: Following a science topic on health, during which pupils had written an explanation of how the heart works, they selected a topic about which they had both knowledge and personal experience in order to write their own explanatory text.

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How Pointe Shoes Came To Be

Have you ever wondered why ballerinas look so beautiful and graceful on stage? Keep on reading to find out about what makes the Nutcracker you saw at Christmas the magical story that it is.

Pointe shoes are what make dancers different and beautiful. With their pink satin and silky ribbons, these shoes have been around since 1795. They were invented to make ballerinas look weightless when dancing, so they started spinning, balancing and jumping en pointe (on the tips of their toes). They are traditionally worn by women for a beautiful pad de duex (a solo dance with one man and one woman) but in some ballets men go en pointe too. There is an all male ballet company called Les Ballet Trockadero that had a very famous production of Swan Lake featuring men dancing en pointe as the female swans.

Most people might [think] ask ‘why hurt your feet like that?’ But as soon as you get into the ballet world your life ambition is to start pointe work. This exact thing happened to me. Pointe shoes are very desirable to

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young dancers too. Pointe work is meant for dancers atleast over the age of 11 as it is ideal once your feet have stopped growing. Meanwhile, at the Royal Ballet Lower School (White Lodge, Richmond Park, London) the pupils start at the age of 13. It was also thought (until very recently) that the London Royal Ballet School was the only way to go if you wanted a career in dance but now there are many options for non-boarders.

Every dancer has unique feet with a varying length, shape, arch, flexibility, extension and strength; consequently, most pointe shoe companies make more than one model of a shoe. Sometimes they are custom tailored for the best shoes. Occasionally ballerinas can go through more than one pair in one performance. There are two main parts of a pointe shoe:

The box – the front end of the shoe that supports the dancer’s toes.

The shank – rigid material to stiffen the sole to support the arch for going en pointe.

Now pointe shoes are beautiful and (for me) the best part of ballet! They take a lot of care, eg. rosin for non-slip; extra elastic; complex ribbon tying; box breaking etc. but become totally worth it when you are en pointe. The conclusion for me is that pointe work is awesome and you should love it! I hope you liked my text and that you now are a pointe shoe fan!

APPENDIX G (from KS2 Exemplification materials: Frankie)

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Context: Following reading and class discussion of ‘The Giant’s Necklace’ by Michael Morpurgo, pupils wrote the diary of the protagonist, Cherry, revealing their insight into her character and feelings.

Dear Diary Right now I’m not actually holding this pen – it is mirac-ulously hovering in the air and writing down my thoughts for me. Because ghosts can’t hold stuff, right? I’ve never really liked writing a diary but my parents always told me it would be fun to look back on when I am older. But I’ll never be ‘older’. I s’pose I can look back on the day I died.

It was all fine at first – my brothers teasing with me about my ‘giants’ necklace and Mum and Dad cutting brushing off the burnt toast. I thought, “Just a couple more inches of shells for my necklace – then I shall reach the toaster.”

Soon enough we were all lying on the beach staring out into the shimmering turquoise water. Everything was fine; it all seemed so calm. After about twenty minutes everyone started climbing back up to thou the house to pack up. I thought that if I just stayed maybe another hour, I’d surely have enough shells to finish my necklace.

As I was bent over the sand, I realized that almost three hours had passed and I still had fifty shells to go. I looked up from my work and the sky had suddenly turned an angry grey colour and I could already see the monsterous waves gathering out in the Atlantic. Fifty woald would take no more than ten minutes, right? Or so I thought…

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By now the frothing water was thrashing against my ankles. The rocks were only a metre or so away… I was so determined that I was even collecting the glistening pink shells on my way to the spiky rocks. I was so stupid. Why didn’t I just go home as soon as the storm gathered? The rocks were slippy but the house seemed so close now. Suddenly the salty water was all around me. In my mouth, up my nose, stinging my eyes. The crashing waves pulling me down. I was conscious that I was drowning. Everything went quite quiet and still. And then the frothing blue water faded into black.

I woke up coughing and spluttering out the in a daze. My clothes were drenched. I wasn’t just physically lost: I had no one – I had nothing. My first thought was my shells but only a few remained – scattered around in different pockets. As I looked up, I saw warm yellow light glowing from the cliff face. My curiosity got the better of me. I quickly scrambled to my feet and climbed up the cliff; it turned out there was a tunnel – strewn with little lanterns. Inside were two miners – one young and one a jolly with a bedraggled beard. They were very kind to me but something was still bothering me. Mother had told me that the tin mining business had been sut shut down over a hundred years ago so what were they doing here? Were they dead? Then how could I see them?

One of the miners kindly took me above the cliff and I finally felt safe. I couldn’t wait to tell

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the whole faml family that I had survived! I was okay! I ran as fast as I could all the way until the front door. My racing heart was pounding at the speed of light under my dripping sweater. My hands urged me to knock and before I it I knew it, I was hammering on the door. There was no answer. I waited. And waited. So I tried again. No answer again. Why weren’t they answering? Didn’t they want to see me? Without thinking, I flung open the door. The room, which was filled with official looking people, looked like it had been hit by a bomb.

“Hello!” I called, “It’s me – Cherry! I’m home. I’ve survived.” Why was everyone ignoring me? And then it dawned on me. The miners, the water, the no answering. I leant against the wall and slowly slid down in a crumpled, sobbing heap. I was dead. Nobody survives a drowning in an Atlantic storm. I was a am very stupid and very, very dead. Then I cried. I cried until there were no more tears. to be I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood. Blood? The reality of it all came flooding into my mind. Innocent, young Cherry is a dead ghost. What now? Reality?

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APPENDIX H (from STA standardisation exercise 2018/19)

Context: after exploring examples of fairy tales with a twist, pupils were asked to write a letter of complaint from the point of view of a fairy tale character of their choice. The pupil asked to use a character from one of the Harry Potter novels and chose to write from the point of view of the Basilisk, complaining about Harry Potter and making the case for his expulsion from Hogwarts.

Professor A.B. Dumbledore The BasiliskRoom 9 The Chamber of SecretsFloor 3 Hogwarts CastleHogwarts Castle ScotlandScotland

Hissssss translation: Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I am writing to you to discuss a matter of utmost importance. I feel it is my duty to inform you that a young criminal is roaming the castle. Being the great and wise man you are, after reading these numerous reasons, you will expel Harry Potter from this school forever.Firstly, the boy has no respect for school rules. For instance, both last year and this year, he has been caught many times roaming the castle by

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night. In addition to this, he has been seen in the restricted section of the library, simply for his own gain. And, as if this was not enough, when the dim-witted half-giant, Reubeus Hagrid, bought a dragon egg, which is strictly forbidden, Harry helped the great oaf to keep the dragon a secret until it was ready to be taken away. Undoubtedly this is unacceptable behaviour. Furthermore, he has a non-explanatory grudge against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It is an atrocious thing to harbour grudges and this may lead to outbursts of rage within lessons. He also tries to attract attention by claiming to have seen and fought against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He is an arrogant, lieing rule-breaker with no respect for school rules or others. My last and most important point: he is a murderer. Only last year he killed one of your fellow teachers, Professor Quirrel, and only because he was about to report him for being out of bed by night. I am sure you will agree that this is a terrible act. Having read these points, I hope you now believe that Harry Potter should be expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Yours sincerely, The Basilisk

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APPENDIX I (from STA standardisation exercise 2018/19)

Context: after reading and exploring Rudyard Kipling’s Just So stories, pupils were asked to write fable in the style of Kipling. The pupil chose to write about how the koala got its shout.

How the koala got its shout

In the beginning, oh best beloved, the koala was silent. He would sit on a branch and watch the tallest trees tower over the dense Australian jungle. He would look up at the cascading waterfall crashing down on the unfortunate rocks that lay below. And he would remain silent.

The koala was errant and idle. Every day he would sit on a branch while the animals would shout up at him:

“Koala, koala, why must you remain silent? Come down from your treetop perch and help us work!” and the koala would answer in no more than a whisper,

“I am silent, and you are all silent to me.” and the other animals would go away.

The next day the animals would come and find the koala on his same treetop perch, and would shout up at him, “Koala, koala, why must you remain silent? Come down from your treetop perch and work like the rest of us!” And the koala would answer in no more than a whisper, “I am silent, and you are all silent to me.” and the animals would go away.

One Monday, the kangaroo hopped up to the koala, who was sitting in his treetop perch, and cried, “Koala, koala, why must you remain silent? Come down from your treetop perch and work like the rest of us!” And the koala said in no more than a whisper, “I am silent, and you are all silent to me.” And the kangaroo hopped away.

On Tuesday, the alligator crawled up to the koala, his tail swishing like a turbine, and shouted up at the top of his croaky old voice,

“Koala, Koala, why must you remain silent? Come down from your treetop perch and work like the rest of us!” And the koala said in no more than a whisper, “I am silent, and you are all silent to me,” And the alligator crawled away, tail still swishing like a turbine.

On Wednesday, the dingo came running up to the koala, great big eyes drooping, for the dingo prefers working at night and resting during day, and shouted,

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“Koala, Koala, why must you remain silent? Come down from your treetop perch and work like the rest of us!” And the koala said in no more than a whisper,

“I am silent, and you are all silent to me.” And the dingo ran away and curled up in his resting place to sleep.

At midnight, which is the most magical time oh Best Beloved, the kangaroo and the alligator, their eyes drooping, for this was not their working time, and the now wide-awake dingo, gathered around a thick birch tree. They looked up to the starry, midnight-blue sky and all cried:

“Why, oh why? Why must you have created such an idle burden and placed it within our midst? Please help us!” and they went away to sleep, or else carry on their work, all the while hoping that their begging would have effect.

The trees heard their pleas and decided to help them. A leaf blew off the birch tree. It slowly floated towards the koala, who was sleeping on his treetop perch, and landed on his head.

And then… magical things began to happen.

The next morning, the kangaroo once again hopped up to the koala and said, “Koala, koala, why must you remain so silent? Come down from your treetop perch and work like the rest of us!” And the koala replied in the most deep, loud bellow, “I am silent, and you are all silent to me.” However, he was not silent, indeed, he had developed the loudest voice in all of the jungle!

And after this incident, oh Best Beloved, the koala has been the loudest animal in the Australian jungle, but has to this day not made up for his many missed days of work. And this, oh Best Beloved, is how the koala got its shout.

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APPENDIX J (from STA standardisation exercise 2018/19)

Context: as part of their independent projects inspired by the school’s production of Peter Pan, pupils were asked to create their own Neverland. One of the tasks was to write a diary, but the pupil chose to embed a story within a blog instead, presenting their very different version of Neverland.

Hello blog, I haven’t seen you in a while. I know, I’ve been neglecting you, but a lot of things have happened, most of these involving me almost being killed. I have:

Been shot at Stabbed Burned Scarred Had to get a robotic arm

You get the idea.Okay, let me explain. You know all those books and movies about Peter Pan and Neverland and stuff? The way they describe Neverland is not how it is. Or at least not anymore. It all started when I was playing this game called Battle Mechs. You know, where you start off with a completely useless mech and you upgrade them and get better? Anyway. I was on the clan chat when it just came up with this: Anonymous: you dream of this stuff, don’t you?So I said: Destroyer Bot: Yeah. So?Anonymous: I can take you somewhere like this. Destroyer Bot: When? Anonymous: Now. Then there was a blinding flash of light and, after that, things were very weird. I woke up on thissort of landing pad. Except it was too small, and no one was paying any attention to it. Surrounding me was like that Anonymous guy said: it was nothing like home. Metal buildings dotted everywhere, robots clunking about. To be fair, I can understand why no one was paying any attention to me. I had spawned just next to this big generator sort of thing. Everything is not trees and forests and the best dens in the world. No. It’s so weird; everything is just so…technological. Once I had confirmed that I was not dreaming (my face hurt for a while after that), I scrambled behind the generator, and at that moment I realised my tablet was still in my hands. “A portal?” I thought. It had taken me here; maybe it could take me back. I hunched up against a wall with peeling red and yellow paint and faded letters reading: DANGER. DO NOT ENTER. I turned it on, expecting to see my usual lock page with the usual keypad for me to unlock my tablet, but instead I was thrown straight into the game. Battle Mechs. With all of my previous gaming score gone. All of the game data erased. And I was only about 2,000 XP away from getting to level 78! From what I could see, it was beginning to get dark, so I tried my best to get comfortable and go to sleep.

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I was woken up the next day by a gigantic CRASH. I jumped up and saw a massive wreckage. A guy on a stretcher. Random bits of plane everywhere. So I figured the crash must have been an out-of-control craft. And, in a random spurt of utter STUPIDITY, I walked out from my hiding spot. Dumbest thing I could have ever done. One of the repair bots looked around and saw me. The others followed. Then one of them tried to shoot me. The laser whizzed over my head, and soon the air was filled with laser bolts. I dashed back to the generator, where I saw another boy. Before I had time to register this, he ran in front of me and smacked a blue chip down on the floor, and a circular, translucent blue wall popped up out of nowhere and encased us. “Who are you?” I said. “The new Peter Pan,” he said. Then he grabbed my face and forced my mouth open. “EY! OT OO OO IN’ OOR OOIN!” (translation: “HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”) He held up a small pill and dropped it into my mouth, “OT OS AAT!” I yelled (translation: WHAT WAS THAT!”“A sleeping pill,” he answered calmly. After that I dropped off completely. I woke up some time later with lots of boys and girls crowded around me. They all looked burned, bruised and scarred. “So, the dead boy lives,” said a familiar voice. The other kids moved back. A boy with brown hair and a scar down his shoulder walked in front of me and sat on a wall. “Sorry about all that. That’s what you gotta do with the newbies. But this is the first time I’ve seen one walk right out. That was dumb. Also, we had to patch your arm a bit. We’re not the best doctors ‘round here, ‘cos the trained ones work for them.” He gestured outside. “Anyway, we just gave you a new one. Avoid all the hassle. I’ve got one too.” He held up his left arm. Except it wasn’t a human arm. It was clearly robotic. “We managed to nick some of these from the medical room down over there” – he pointed to a building next to the big signal tower thing – “and Luke here worked a couple of days to give ‘em some upgrades. Check this out.” As he said this, he tapped a button on his arm. A small hatch opened and a plasma gun shot out (I play Battle Mechs too much). A fizzing ball of energy slowly expanded with four metal claws, which then released it.

“Don’t! We’ll be caught!” I said. “Nah, it’s fine.” Peter said. “This wall is temporarily impenetrable.”“But they can still hear us.”“Which includes sound. The light, however, should pass straight through you, provided you’re wearing these.” He held up a black T-shirt and black jeans. “Which he is not,” another girl said. “I’m Emma by the way.”Suddenly, I heard an alarm. “Alright folks, you know the drill. To your battle stations QUICK!” Peter yelled, while tossing everyone a gun. I caught mine and realised it was just a pistol. So they get fancy guns and I get the pistol. I ran over to Emma.

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“What the flipping hell am I supposed to do?” I said. “Stay with me and get ready to shoot at any moment,” she replied, not taking her eyes out from the aiming piece. The wall around us flickered and disappeared, and thundering footsteps shook the ground; before we knew it, we were surrounded by robots. I heard Peter whisper behind me, “Everyone, shoot on my command, 1, 2, 3, SHOOT!!!” Once again the air was filled with yells and laser beams and plasma balls. I looked around for Emma, but I couldn’t see her anywhere. Then it began. It’s strange, fighting a robot. They’re a lot smarter than you think. I got out my pistol, but it was no use. I was instantly hit in the face by a laser. Blood was trickling down my mouth and instincts kicked in. I grabbed the pistol and feinted an attack, then ran around the other side and ripped out a wire. I looked around. Again, no sign of Emma or Peter. One boy was wrestling against another robot and was pinned against a wall. I ran and wildly shot it. Then I was grabbed from behind. Something whacked me on the back, and then I felt a dagger slice through my left arm. Then I remembered what Peter had done with his arm and desperately searched for that button. I found it and punched down. A small hatch opened and the gun shot out. It released. The ball whacked into the nearest drone and went steamrolling through the crowd. I stared, but I couldn’t stay put for too long. A lot of things happened. I would tell you, but it seems as if we’re evacuating or something. Everyone’s gathering up all the equipment, guns, everything. I don’t know what, but something big is happening. I have to go now. I’m really starting to hate that Anonymous guy.

____________________________Over and Out_______________________________

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