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Curb Your Enthusiasm Spec script I wrote a few years ago. Putting out feelers to see if it might be good enough to submit into contests. Any feedback would be appreciated. 30 Minute Comedy.
Citation preview
Fade In:
INT. DAVID LIVING ROOM - DAY
LARRY sits on the couch watching Windtalkers on his
television. CHERYL walks in and stands by the window. She
holds her phone and texts away on it madly. Every so often
she glances out the window.
LARRY
How close is he?
CHERYL
I don’t know. He said he left ten
minutes ago. I’ll ask him.
Cheryl’s head darts back down to her phone. She types with
the utmost urgency. She smiles and giggles softly.
LARRY
Wait, don’t text him.
Cheryl doesn’t realize that he’s talking to her.
LARRY
Don’t text him if he’s driving.
I’ve driven with Ted, he’ll hit a
kid.
Cheryl’s head stays down. She still doesn’t acknowledge that
Larry is talking to her. Larry attempts to gauge how much
she’s paying attention.
LARRY
Probably a black kid, because Ted
hates black people.
CHERYL
(not looking at Larry)
Ted’s a great driver.
Larry grows disinterested with the conversation and leaves
her be. He focuses on Windtalkers. After a short
while, Danson’s car pulls up in front of the house.
CHERYL
Well, I’ll see you later.
Cheryl goes to the closet to put on her coat. Larry goes
back to watching Windtalkers, but looks distracted.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.
LARRY
Hold on, I’m coming.
CHERYL
What?
LARRY
Just let me get my shoes on.
CHERYL
(in sassy disbelief)
You want to go shopping...with Ted
and I?
Larry stands up.
CHERYL
Ted and I?
LARRY
What else am I gonna do, just watch
Windtalkers all day like some
loser? Let’s go.
Cheryl shrugs. They both put on their coats and leave.
INT. SHOE STORE - DAY
Larry and Cheryl stand in the men’s section looking at
sneakers. Larry has on a pair of bright white shoes.
Enthused, he models the shoes for Cheryl.
LARRY
Well, whatcha think?
CHERYL
I think they’re a little much.
LARRY
A little much? They’re on sale.
CHERYL
I mean...they’re a little white.
Larry looks down at them.
CHERYL
I’m not sure you’re really a white
shoes guy.
Larry looks discouraged.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
LARRY
I’m definitely a white shoes guy.
Cheryl goes over to a pair of sad looking grey shoes and
carries them to Larry.
CHERYL
What about these?
Larry takes one look at the shoes and throws his arms up in
disgust.
LARRY
This is hurtful! I can’t believe
you! I’m not a white shoes guy? I
used to only buy white shoes.
Twenty years. All white shoes. All
the time. White shoes all the time!
CHERYL
I don’t know Larry, they’re,
they’re just a little too strong.
LARRY
You don’t know what you’re talking
about. Let’s get Danson over here.
Danson!
CHERYL
(embarrassed)
Larry...
DANSON walks over. Cheryl drops her head and looks down at
her phone.
LARRY
(attracting Danson’s
attention)
Eh!? Eh?!
Larry sticks out his foot, modeling the sneaker for Ted.
DANSON
They’re nice. I like em’.
LARRY
You don’t think they’re too white
for me?
DANSON
God, not at all. Great shoes.
Larry gives Cheryl an, "I told you so" look.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.
LARRY
Cheryl says I’m not a white shoes
guy.
DANSON
Definitely a white shoes guy. Are
you kidding? A white shoes guy if
there ever was one.
Larry smiles at Danson as though all of the wrongs Danson
has done to him have vanished.
LARRY
Thanks Ted.
DANSON
Hey, do you mind if I try them on?
LARRY
Okay?
Larry takes off his right shoe and hands it to Danson.
Danson looks at it as if he were inspecting gold. Larry
looks on confused. Danson sits down and takes off his shoe,
revealing his sock. It’s filthy, more grey than white. Larry
looks at it in horror.
LARRY
Hold on. Hold on. How about I just
get you your own pair?
DANSON
Huh? Why?
LARRY
I just...don’t want to get them
dirty so soon.
DANSON
Don’t worry Larry, my feet are
clean.
LARRY
Yeah, I believe that. But
it’s...it’s the socks.
DANSON
What?
LARRY
You’ve got dirty socks Ted.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
DANSON
LD, what are you talking about? My
socks are fine.
LARRY
Ted, I’ve seen your socks. They’re
anything but fine.
Larry scratches his upper lip.
LARRY
You’ve got dirty socks.
DANSON
(harsher)
Larry, my socks are fine. They’re
perfectly fine.
LARRY
I hear what you’re saying, but
there’s a pair of dirty socks in
this row and they don’t belong to
me.
Danson and Larry have a classic stare down. The two men size
each other up. Ted takes his right foot and shoves it
forcefully into Larry’s shoe. Larry grimaces in pain as
though Ted was stomping on his heart. Cheryl is on her phone
and misses the whole thing.
INT. DANSON’S CAR
Larry is in the back seat of Danson’s car. Cheryl is upfront
in the passenger seat next to Ted. Cheryl’s phone beeps and
she looks down, laughs.
LARRY
Can I see?
CHERYL
Huh?
LARRY
I want to see what’s so funny.
CHERYL
I don’t think you’d find it very
funny, Larry.
LARRY
Just let me see the text.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
CHERYL
It’s not a text, it’s a Facebook
notification. Wanda commented on
one of my statuses.
DANSON
Cheryl has the best statuses Larry.
They’re so funny.
CHERYL
Thanks, Ted.
Larry scratches his head.
LARRY
What’s a status?
CHERYL
You wouldn’t understand.
Larry shuts up and Ted keeps driving. Both Danson’s phone
and Cheryl’s phone beep and they both laugh and laugh. Larry
slinks down in his seat, embarrassed to be out of the loop.
EXT. DAVID HOUSE
Larry and Cheryl get out of the car. Cheryl waves goodbye to
Danson. Larry is still pissed. Danson drives away.
LARRY
Can you believe that guy?
CHERYL
What? What happened?
LARRY
He shoved his foot into my shoe
when I told him not to. He probably
dirtied up my new shoes with his
crummy socks.
CHERYL
Larry, what are you talking about?
LARRY
(almost to himself)
It’s not about the feet. It’s about
the socks and Danson’s socks are
the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s like
he picks cotton in those socks.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.
CHERYL
Jesus, take it easy. I thought his
socks looked fine. They were
perfectly clean.
LARRY
Of course you’d say that, you
didn’t see. You’ve been on your
phone all day.
CHERYL
Larr’, it hasn’t been all day.
LARRY
All day!
Larry takes off his old shoes and puts on his new ones.
CHERYL
What are you doing?
LARRY
Going to Jeff’s. I need to wear
these in.
He takes some trial steps in them, grimaces.
LARRY
They feel kind of funny.
CHERYL
They look kind of funny.
Larry waves off Cheryl’s comment and walks to his car.
CUT TO:
EXT. JEFF’S HOUSE
Establishing shot of Jeff’s house.
INT. JEFF’S HOUSE
JEFF opens the door and lets Larry in.
JEFF
Hey, how’s it going?
LARRY
Eh’.
They start walking towards Jeff’s home office. Jeff looks
down at Larry’s feet.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
JEFF
New shoes?
LARRY
Yeah.
JEFF
They’re so white.
Larry gives Jeff a look as they walk through the door to
Jeff’s home office. The office manages to be both messy and
official looking.
LARRY
I need you to make me a Facebook.
JEFF
What?
Jeff sits down behind his desk and Larry sits on the other
side of it.
LARRY
Cheryl and Danson have one. They
talk about the thing like they’re
speaking a different language. It’s
like they’re Windtalkers or
something.
JEFF
Were you watching that too?!
LARRY
Yeah, it was on after lunch.
JEFF
You like it?
LARRY
God no, it’s terrible.
JEFF
The dumbest thing ever.
LARRY
So stupid. I can’t believe that
exists.
(and then)
So get me started.
JEFF
Are you sure that you want one?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.
LARRY
Yes, I already told you I want one.
JEFF
I’m just trying to be sure, I
don’t want you to do something
you’ll regret later. Once I make
it, I make it forever.
LARRY
Yes, I’m sure. If Cheryl’s funny
on it, I want to see.
JEFF
Her statuses are so funny.
They’re great. I love her statuses.
LARRY
See, I don’t know what that
means. That needs to change. Set me
up.
Larry gets out of his chair and walks to the other side of
the desk. He looks at the computer while Jeff types the
proper information in the fields. It takes about fifteen
seconds. They are greeted with a blank Facebook page with no
information on it.
LARRY
(skeptical)
Wait, this is it? This is the
Facebook I hear about?
JEFF
You have to customize it first,
this is just how it looks when it
starts.
LARRY
Alright, so what do I do?
JEFF
Well, you’re going to need
a picture to show people what
you look like.
LARRY
Like my driver’s license?
JEFF
No like a picture that’s on
the computer,one of you having fun
or something.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.
LARRY
Can we just use my driver’s
license?It’s the only picture I
have with me.
JEFF
OK. If you want.
Jeff takes the license and scans it into his computer. It
uploads into Facebook and we see Larry’s picture. He has
slightly more hair, but is looking away from the camera,
making for a horrible photo.
LARRY
OK, great. Now what?
JEFF
You’ve got to change your
relationship status. Right now it
says that you’re single.
LARRY
But I’m not single, I’m married.
JEFF
You have to change it.
LARRY
How do I do that?
JEFF
You have to switch it to
married,and then ask Cheryl whether
she wants to be in a relationship
with you.
LARRY
But I already did that when
I proposed, we’ve been married
for ten years. Facebook should
know this.
JEFF
That’s not how it works. You
have to ask her on Facebook.
Larry looks like he’s already fed up with this whole thing.
LARRY
How do I do that?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
JEFF
First you have to become her
friend, then you have to send her a
message asking her to be in a
relationship with you.
LARRY
But I don’t want to be friends with
Cheryl. She’s not my friend. She’s
my wife.
JEFF
Well that’s just --
LARRY
(interrupting)
I mean, I love her, but she’s not
really my friend. It’s not like we
watch basketball together or talk
about tits.
JEFF
I don’t know Lar--
LARRY
(interrupting)
I tried to talk about tits with her
once, when we started dating, was
not a good idea. I’d rather leave
her out of the friend zone.
JEFF
Facebook is useless without
friends. Trust me.
Larry looks at the screen, but is intimidated by all of it.
LARRY
You do all this friend stuff for
me. It’s giving me a head ache. If
you think I’m friends with them,
make them my friend. Do whatever it
is you people do.
Larry takes a step to leave, then winces in pain.
JEFF
You alright?
LARRY
Yeah, I’m okay. My heel hurts. I
think I cut it.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.
JEFF
How would you cut your heel? You
just got here.
LARRY
I don’t know. It might be the new
shoes, the heels might be rubbing.
JEFF
That used to happen to me. But then
I got into wearing thick socks.
Never happened again. Highly
recommend thick socks.
LARRY
You’re telling me. Thick socks
since 92’.
Larry lifts his pant leg to show his socks, turns to walk
away. He turns back around in fury.
LARRY
Danson!
JEFF
What?
LARRY
Danson jammed his foot into my shoe
when I was trying them on. He did
this! He ruined the heel! Danson!
Larry angrily limps out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. DAVID LIVING ROOM
Larry clomps through the door. Cheryl sits on the couch
watching Windtalkers. She’s on the phone though, so she’s
only half paying attention.
LARRY
God, what is it with this
Windtalkers movie?
Cheryl doesn’t pay attention.
LARRY
Danson broke my shoe.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.
CHERYL
So what’s this about you making a
Facebook?
Larry is caught off guard.
LARRY
I wanted to see those statuses or
whatever you and Ted said were so
funny.
Cheryl gives him a look, then goes back into her phone.
LARRY
Are you my friend on it yet? I told
Jeff to make me people my friends.
CHERYL
I’ll do it after dinner.
Larry leaves the room and walks to his computer room. He
sits behind a desk and turns his desktop on. He sees that
Lewis has posted something on his wall. "Hey LD, you still
up for lunch tomorrow? Let me know." Larry sees that it was
posted a few minutes ago and takes out his phone, calls
Lewis.
SPLIT BETWEEN LARRY AND LEWIS
LEWIS is sitting on his couch with the a laptop next to him.
He’s also watching Windtalkers on the television.
LARRY
Lewis. Hey.
LEWIS
What’s up LD?
LARRY
What time do you want to get lunch?
LEWIS
I can’t talk now Larry, just post
it on my wall.
LARRY
What? Why? I’m talking to you now.
LEWIS
Larry, I’m busy. Just post it on my
wall.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.
LARRY
If you’re so busy, how did you find
the time to write it? You wrote
it...six minutes ago. Six minutes
ago!
LEWIS
Just comment on it. I’m watching
Windtalkers. I’m busy.
LARRY
This is ridiculous.
Larry moves the phone away from his ear, hangs it up.
LEWIS
Post it on my wall LD! Post it on
my wall!
INT. DAVID BEDROOM - NIGHT
Cheryl is tucked in, but still on her phone. Larry is
changing for bed. He goes to say something to his wife, but
gives up. She won’t pay attention to whatever it is.
He takes off his shoe and we see that it’s drenched in
blood. It’s a bloody sock. Larry looks at his foot
horrified.
LARRY
Cheryl, my God, will you look at
this!
Cheryl looks up from the phone.
CHERYL
Jesus, Larry, what happened?
LARRY
Danson shoved his foot into my
shoe. He ruined the shoe. This is
his fault.
CHERYL
Don’t be ridiculous.
LARRY
I’m not being ridiculous. He jammed
it in when I told him not to. I
told him not to it and then he did.
A beat.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.
LARRY
Danson raped my shoe.
CHERYL
Larry, come on.
LARRY
NO! Ted Danson is a rapist. He
raped my shoe like the thug he is
and he doesn’t even care.
Cheryl rolls her eyes, goes back to her phone. Larry looks
at his sock.
LARRY
I look like Curt Schilling or
something.
He gets in a pitchers stance, pretends to wind up.
LARRY
Eh, you don’t know who that is.
INT. DAVID LIVING ROOM - DAY
Larry is browsing Facebook and finds that everyone he
requested is his friend now. Everyone except for Cheryl. He
looks pleased in spite of her absence.
He leaves the computer and limps over to the couch.
LARRY
I have Facebook friends now. 38 of
them. Not too shabby if I say so
myself.
CHERYL
(patronizing)
That’s great, Larry
LARRY
I would figure that I’d have five,
maybe six. But 38! That’s
incredible. I feel like I’m the
most popular kid in school. How
many do you have?
CHERYL
Don’t, Larr.
LARRY
Come on, tell me.
Cheryl sighs.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 16.
CHERYL
Five hundred and fifty.
Larry is blown away.
LARRY
What?! You’ve gotta be kidding me.
CHERYL
It’s somewhere around there.
LARRY
That’s ridiculous. You don’t even
know five hundred and fifty people.
How can you be friends with that
many people? It’s impossible. No
one’s friends with five hundred and
fifty people!
CHERYL
Well, I am.
Larry moves in closer, interrogating her.
LARRY
Where did you meet these people?
CHERYL
Some are from school, some are
relatives, some from around town.
You know.
This destroys Larry’s pride in himself.
LARRY
You shouldn’t have that many.
That’s nothing but lying. I know
that you’re more social than I am,
but that’s obscene. If I’m giving
you the benefit of the doubt, I’d
say you should have...one hundred
and twenty. One hundred and twenty
friends. And that’s being generous.
A beat.
LARRY
And you still haven’t friend
accepted me yet!
CHERYL
Larry, please.
Larry opens the front door.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.
LARRY
ACCEPT ME!
He slams it.
INT. DINER
Lewis is sitting in one of the booth seats and Larry limps
into the diner. Lewis is looking at the menu, he looks
surprised to see Larry hobbling. He notices his very white
shoes.
LEWIS
(lowering an eyebrow)
White shoes?
LARRY
What about them?
LEWIS
Nothing, I like them. They’ll look
really good with that pair of
Mickey Mouses gloves that you just
bought.
Larry sits down at the table.
LARRY
Hey, what the hell was that last
night? Comment on it? What does
that mean?
LEWIS
LD, it’s just how it works. If I
post on your wall, you answer on
your wall. That’s how it is.
LARRY
Whatever, don’t pull that again.
LEWIS
It’s good to know you’re in such a
great mood.
LARRY
I’m sorry. I just had a thing with
Cheryl and my foot is killing me.
LEWIS
What’s wrong?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.
LARRY
Well, I went shoe shopping with
Danson and--
LEWIS
(interrupting)
No, with Cheryl.
LARRY
She doesn’t want to be my Facebook
friend.
LEWIS
Really?
LARRY
Everyone else became my friend in
like an hour. I feel kind of weird
about being her friend on it
anyway. I mean, we’re not friends.
LEWIS
It’s not like you talk about tits
with her.
LARRY
That’s what I said.
(and then)
The only reason I made the stupid
thing is so I could see her
statuses.
LEWIS
Oh my God, LD, they’re so funny.
It’s like she’s mastered the art of
Facebook.
LARRY
That’s what I’ve been hearing.
Wait, you’re Facebook friends with
her? Can I see her statuses from
your phone?
Lewis takes out his phone and hands it to Larry. Larry reads
and looks mortified.
LARRY
What is this? "Going to gym, hope I
don’t smell too bad. LOL? Thought
about getting a cat, wonder how
Larry would feel about that? LOL?
Watching Windtalkers LOLOLOLOL!?"
What is this?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 19.
We see that Lewis is losing his shit on the other side of
the booth. He can’t stop laughing.
LEWIS
Oh, it’s too much!
LARRY
What’s so funny about any of that?
There’s no joke there. That’s just
what she did yesterday. She’s just
laughing at her own jokes.
Larry motions the phone, getting Lewis to look at the
screen.
LARRY
And what is this shit? Danson wrote
L-M-F-A-O under all of her posts.
What does that mean?
LEWIS
It means that he thinks it’s funny.
LARRY
Well it’s not. It’s stupid.
LEWIS
You can write anything on Facebook
as long as you finish the sentence
with LOL.
Larry logs onto his Facebook account.
LARRY
This is so stupid, I have no idea
what to do with this thing. What
should I make my first status?
LEWIS
Just write what you’re thinking.
That’s how it works.
Larry thinks intently and writes something out on Lewis’
phone. Lewis takes the phone and looks horrified.
LEWIS
"My foot hurts and Ted Danson is a
rapist LOL?"
Larry looks pleased.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.
LEWIS
You can’t call Danson a rapist on
Facebook. People will see that. You
have to change it.
LARRY
No, it’s what I’m feeling, and
Danson is a rapist. I’m merely
reciting fact. Also, I wrote LOL,
so it should be fine.
INT. DAVID LIVING ROOM - DAY
Larry walks into the living room and sits down on the couch.
Windtalkers is on TV again. As soon as he sits down he gets
back up. Walks to the computer room.
LARRY
How is this the only thing that’s
on?
Larry turns on the computer and checks his E-mail. Ten
messages, nine from Facebook, one from Danson.
He logs onto Facebook and he clicks around the screen and
sees that all Hell has broken loose under his status.
Everyone has commented about how mean it was or how uncool
it was. Everyone except for LEON, who wrote, "Fuck Yeah LD
CHEERS SUCKZ DICKZ ANYWAYYYYYYYZ BLACK PEOPLE DON’T LIKE
CHEERS." Larry smiles and then comments under Leon’s
comment. "Thanks Leon." Then he makes a new comment under
that. "Lol." He then goes back to his E-mail and reads the
message that Danson sent to him. In the message Danson
demands an apology.
Cheryl walks into the room.
LARRY
Can you believe this guy? Danson
ruins my shoe, and now he wants an
apology.
CHERYL
Of course he does, Larry. What you
wrote was awful. You need to
apologize.
LARRY
No, I refuse to. He raped me and he
expects an apology? Absolutely not.
A beat.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 21.
LARRY
Wait, you saw the status.
Cheryl sighs.
LARRY
That means that you friended me!
You’re my friend now! You’re my
friend!
Cheryl nods, but also looks a bit guilty. Larry’s demeanor
noticeably improves.
LARRY
Okay, I’ll apologize. Can you drive
me though? My foot’s killing me and
I don’t think I can work the pedal.
CHERYL
Okay, but I’m gonna have to drop
you off. I’m getting lunch with
Wanda.
INT. CHERYL’S CAR
Cheryl is driving and Larry is in the passenger seat. He
stares out the window anxiously, looking restless.
LARRY
Hey, can I check my Facebook on
your phone real quick?
Cheryl looks surprised.
CHERYL
Larry, you seem to be quite the
Facebooker.
LARRY
What can I say? Sometimes you just
hit the ground running.
She passes him her phone. Larry looks at it for a few
second, then shows a confused expression.
LARRY
Huh? That’s weird. You said you
friended me, but I only have 38
friends. What’s that about?
CHERYL
I don’t know, someone might have
defriended you.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 22.
LARRY
What does that mean? Did someone
die?
CHERYL
No, it probably means they didn’t
want to be your friend on Facebook
anymore.
LARRY
(building steam)
What? Is that real? That’s
horrible. Who would do something
like that? That’s the worst thing
I’ve ever heard? What kind of
monster would do something like
that?!
CHERYL
It’s not that bad.
LARRY
Yes it is, Cheryl. Yes it is. I
could never have any respect for
someone that does that.
Cheryl pulls the car up to Danson’s house. Larry gets out of
the car and limps towards the door. Danson opens it and
looks at Larry. He crosses his arms. Without speaking, he
leads Larry into the house.
INT. DANSON HOUSE
Danson leads Larry into his living room and they sit down on
comfortable chairs across from each other. Danson stares
daggers into Larry, while Larry looks down, defeated.
DANSON
Well...
Larry fidgets in his chair.
LARRY
I guess I should --
DANSON
(interrupting)
I was really hurt by your comments
today. They were uncalled for and
they were personal. When I was a
boy my sister was raped after
Church one Sunday.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 23.
Larry leans back in his chair, completely taken aback by
that statement. He didn’t see that coming.
LARRY
Oh my God.
DANSON
She would cry for hours about it.
She would cry herself to sleep
every night for a year. She can
never trust men now, Larry. Never.
Why in the world would you write
something like that on Facebook?!
LARRY
(ashamed)
You broke my shoe.
DANSON
What?
LARRY
You, uh, broke my shoe.
Danson looks confused.
LARRY
(proceeding with caution)
You shoved your foot into my shoe
when I told you not to and you
broke the heel of it.
Danson looks on, amazed with anger.
LARRY
But that was before I knew about
this! Ted, I’m sorry. If I had
known I would have never. I
apologize, it was wrong of me, I
thought if I wrote LOL it was okay.
Really Ted, I’m so sorry.
Danson looks a little less mad after the apology. He gets up
and paces around for a bit.
DANSON
It’s okay Larry. It’s okay. You
didn’t know. And, man, I’m sorry I
broke your shoe.
LARRY
Don’t be sorry Ted, it’s stupid.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 24.
DANSON
No really, you asked me not to and
I did it anyway.
LARRY
Well, yeah.
DANSON
How about this? I bought the same
pair of shoes that day, I’ll go get
them for you. Make amends. Start
fresh.
LARRY
No Ted, it’s okay. You really don’t
have to.
TED
No, I insist.
Danson leaves the room leaving Larry alone. He waits for a
few moments and Danson comes back with a pair of white
shoes. He hands them to Larry. Larry looks very happy and
takes off his shoes. He takes off his left shoe first, the
one that isn’t broken. Then he takes off the right one, the
broken one. Danson watches and sees Larry’s filthy right
sock and how it’s covered in blood. We see on his face that
he remembers how Larry called his socks dirty the day
before. Danson looks up at Larry in an angry and distrusting
way. Larry doesn’t get it. Danson walks over to Larry’s
left, clean shoe. Larry looks up at him terrified, pleading.
Danson picks up his foot with purpose and holds it in the
air.
LARRY
You wouldn’t.
Danson smiles maniacally and slams his foot down into
Larry’s left shoe.
LARRY
Serial Rapist! Serial Rapist!
TED
Get out of my house!
Larry gets up, collects his shoes and leaves.
25.
EXT. DANSON LAWN
Larry puts on his shoes. Both heels are ruined. He double
limps home.
INT. DAVID LIVING ROOM
Just getting home, Larry logs onto Facebook. He looks on
horrified as he reads Danson’s new status.
"LARRY DAVID’S WIFE DEFRIENDED HIM LOL."
Larry looks up from the screen, putting everything together.
Fade out:
THE END