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11/2/19
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CONVERSATIONS
CRITICAL
THE COURAGE TO SHOW UP
DIANNA [email protected]
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Today’s Agenda
What we’re covering today.
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
CRITICAL CONVERSATION MODELCCM: ONE ON ONE
CLOSING THOUGHTS
CCM: ONE TO MANY
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EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
A mix of mindset, skills, and behaviors that manifests into a multi-dimensional confident and influential presence.
S O C I A L I N T E L L I G E N C E
T E C H N I C A L C O M P E T E N C E
A B S T R A C T/ C O N C E P T U A L
T H I N K I N G
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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NOTES
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S O C I A L I N T E L L I G E N C E
T E C H N I C A L C O M P E T E N C E
A B S T R A C T/ C O N C E P T U A L
T H I N K I N G
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE: A MODEL
Using emotional information to guide strategic thinking and behavior.
Intellectual capital built through developing knowledge (subject matter expertise).
A mix of mindset, skills, and behaviors that manifests in a multi-dimensional, confident, and influential presence.
External functioning: Social awareness and facility, the management of how others perceive you.
Creative ability to employ complex and strategic analytical thinking and rapidly synthesize disparate concepts into concrete consumable communication.
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WHAT IS IT?
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
What are common communication scenarios in the workplace?
Who do you believe is an effective communicator/ role model? Why?
What are examples of successful communication scenarios?
What are critical success factors in effective communication- why communication goes well?
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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Definition
What is Emotional Intelligence?• How you translate your awareness about how well you
perceive & express yourself, develop & maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in meaningful ways.
Emotional Intelligence and Improved Leadership Aptitude• Consistent understanding and control over one’s emotional
state• Skills development and maintenance of desired personal
relationships• Increased capacity to manage conflict through empathetic
understanding7
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EQi Model
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NOTES
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CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
FullApproach
• What are my goals?• What are his/her possible goals?• How will I get into the right
frame of mind to have this conversation?
• What are other possible reflection points?
• What does success look like?• What information do I need?• What talking points will help
move us forward?• What are other options?
• Actively listen.• Ask questions.• Start conversation with, “I’d
like to discuss x with you, but first, I’d like to hear your perspective.”
• Define next steps.
Questions to Answer:• What are our agreed upon
concrete steps forward?• How will we
communicate?• What went well (link back
to reflection)?
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MAIN IDEA
QUESTION
OTHER
QUESTION
OTHER
QUESTION
OTHER
QUESTION
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
IDEAIDEAIDEA
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS: MINDMAPPING CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
OTHER
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NOTES
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PEER PROMOTION• Jane and John (peers) applied for
a promotional position• John receives the promotion.• Three-months post-promotion,
Jane & John have still not discussed new roles and impact on their relationship
Question: How should Jane plan for this conversation?
INSTRUCTIONS• Break into groups of three.• Use the Critical Conversations framework
to plan for the conversation.• Use the mind mapping tool to develop
ideas for Step 1 and Step 2 using mind mapping tool to develop ideas.
• For Step 3 document strategies for being successful.
• For Step 4 identify possible next steps.
GROUP EXERCISE
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NOTES
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Communication Planning for Building Buy In with GroupsStep 1: Complete critical conversation four-step approach with the group meeting in mind
Step 2: Develop a list of stakeholders
Step 3: Identify each stakeholder as resistant, neutral, or supportive
Step 4: Plot on stakeholder map & develop communication strategy
Step 5: Identify which key stakeholders to meet with individually prior to group meeting
Step 6: Reflect on findings and update critical conversation planning for group meeting
GROUP CONVERSATIONS
Six Steps
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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INVOLVE
INFORM
CONSULT
MONITOR
INTEREST
INFLUE
NCE
HIGH INFLUENCE / HIGH INTEREST
LOW INFLUENCE / HIGH INTERESTLOW INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST
HIGH INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST
RESISTANT
NEUTRAL
SUPPORTIVE
STAKEHOLDER RATING
GROUP CONVERSATIONS
Stakeholder Mapping
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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GROUP CONVERSATIONS
Six Steps Building Buy-In for IT Strategic PlanSara, the CIO has facilitated a campus-wide process technology strategic planning process. The strategic plan needs cabinet approval to be funded. Politics are in play as some initiatives related to some division priorities may not be fully funded due to resource constraints. The cabinet needs to be 100% on board in order to gain funding for the plan. Sarah will present the plan at the next cabinet meeting and then a vote will take place.
Cabinet members range from supporters to possible derailers in agreeing to fund the plan.
Question: What’s the most effective way to plan and facilitate the cabinet discussion?
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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INVOLVE
INFORM
CONSULT
MONITOR
INTEREST
INFLUE
NCE
HIGH INFLUENCE / HIGH INTEREST
LOW INFLUENCE / HIGH INTERESTLOW INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST
HIGH INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST
CINDYCAROL
JOEJANE
AMY
STU
DAVE
TIM
BARB
BRIAN
RESISTANT
NEUTRAL
SUPPORTIVE
STAKEHOLDER RATING
• BRIAN• JANE• DAVE• CAROL• AMY
• STU• JOE• BARB• CINDY• TIM
STAKEHOLDERS
GROUP CONVERSATIONS
Six Steps
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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NOTES
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Name Type Communication Plan Objective
Barb Supporter • Enlist Support
Jane Neutral • Identify position
Joe Resistant • Seek to understand
GROUP CONVERSATIONS
What are possible communication strategies for each stakeholder type?
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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BEST PRACTICES
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Define the problem to be solved in a way that serves mutual interests (value proposition). Consider how emotions, such as awareness of internal world, thoughts, emotions, distortions, desires, and needs, play into the scenario.Apply empathy skills.Know how to maintain your needs and wants while practicing compassion. Listen with intent and without distraction. Show genuine interest in other perspectives and indicate you heard what was said without prejudice.
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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SUMMARY
Know your triggers.
Create distance between you and the situation. • “I’d like to spend some time considering the situation. 15
minute break? Chat tomorrow?”
Consider alternative points of view.Practice difficult conversations in advance with a friend/trusted colleague.
BUILDING CONFLICT COMPETENCE
CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS
REFLECT
PLAN
ENGAGE
ACT
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S O C I A L I N T E L L I G E N C E
T E C H N I C A L C O M P E T E N C E
A B S T R A C T/ C O N C E P T U A L
T H I N K I N G
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
How Does Effective Communication Influence Executive Presence?
How do I manage how my emotions to translate into productive thinking and behavior?
What resource can I capitalize on for effective communication?
What is the overall mix of mindset, skills, and behaviors that are critical for success?
How does the synthesis of the three other pillars inform this social interaction?
What are the complexities inherent in this situation? How will I connect the dots, identify the patterns and synthesize into consumable communication?
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NOTES
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CONNECTING THE DOTSIntentional focus on career• Where do I want to be in 2 years?• What are my goals?• What actions will I take to “move the
needle?”• What skills am I building?• What wins/challenges occurred this week?• Brainstorms (mind-mapping)• Conversations/meeting prep notes & results• End of the week wrap up (5 minutes)
Ø What went well?Ø What could I have done better?Ø What’s up next week?
Career/Professional Development Notebook
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Resources for more informationDavid, Susan. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. 2016
Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: How We can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential, 2016
Eurich, Tasha. Insight: the surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How we See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think. 2017
Goldsmith, Marshall. Triggers: How Behavior Change Begins, How to Make it Meaningful, How to Make it Last. 2015
Stein, Steven J. The EQ Leader: Instilling Passion, Creating Shared Goals, and Building Meaningful Organizations Through Emotional Intelligence. 2017
David, Susan. Emotional Intelligence in Tough Conversations .https://hbr.org/video/2942763781001/emotional-intelligence-in-tough-conversations. 2015
Eurich, Tasha. What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it. 2018.
Bernardo, Delores. You Just had a Difficult Conversation at Work. Here’s What to Do Next. https://hbr.org/2017/05/you-just-had-a-difficult-conversation-at-work-heres-what-to-do-next. 2017
S O C I A L I N T E L L I G E N C E
T E C H N I C A L C O M P E T E N C E
A B S T R A C T/ C O N C E P T U A L
T H I N K I N G
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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