Creative Writing [Extra Issue]

8/11/2019 Creative Writing [Extra Issue]

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2, 50

J aar g an g 15 - N ummer 3 -

2014

I nt erdi sci plinair C ult uurwet

en scha p peli jk T i jd schri f t

| Cr e a t i v eWr i t i n g J a a r g a n g 1 5 - E x t r a I s s u e - N u m m e r 3 - 2 0 1 4

Creative Writing

EXTRAISSUE!

Alain Delorme


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Writing as a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see all around us. In theend, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of someunderculture but mainly to save themselves, to surviveas individuals.

Don DeLillo (1936-)


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Contact Mosaek Faculteit der Cultuur- enMaatschappijwetenschappenPostbus 6166200 MD Maastrichte-mail: [email protected] 1566-6859

Lay-out

Michiel KragtenImage editorDenise Op den Kamp

Cover IllustrationSeries otems

otem #9 2009-2011

Alain DelormePrintCopying articles without permissionfrom the editorial is not allowed by anymeans. All rights reserved.

Mosaek

Mosaek is an independent non-protmagazine made by students from theFaculty of Arts & Social Sciences (FASoS)at Maastricht University. Te magazineis an interdisciplinary mixture of themerelated and submitted articles on culture.Mosaek is a platform for students andgraduates.

Chief editorsMaxime HenselsSaskia H. Herrmann

Editorial Lara BergersMarilyn Clarkov

erry LeeDelphine LegrainKaroline R. Samuelsen

Alie acqFerre Westermann

Thanks toBarbara BeckersMarietje Kardaun Wiel Kusters Ana Menendez Jan de Roder

Lies Wesseling Rein de Wilde

Advisory boardKoen BeumerIris FraikinRiki JanssenNicolle Lamerichs Jim Pedd

Colophon


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3

C o n t e n t s

5 editorial Creative Writing

Ana Menendez EN

7 short story Into The Night Of A Single Chick Delphine Legrain EN

11 sonnet The Kitchen Floor Alie acq EN

13 short story Make it Matter Karoline R. Samuelsen EN

19 poem The Audience Are Wolves Lara Bergers EN

21 short story Us Ferre Westermann EN

23 poem Petite lgie Marilyn Clarkov FR

25 poem The Runner Delphine Legrain EN

27 sonnet Insane Love

Karoline R. Samuelsen EN

29 short story Biggs B.W. erry Lee EN

39 cover photo Totem #9

Alain Delorme EN


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5

We begin each year of the Creative Writing Minor by asking the inevitablequestion: Can writing be taught? Its abit of a misleading question, of course. We wouldnt be here if we didnt believethat at least some aspects of writing couldbe taught. But a better question is canwriting be learned? Te answer is up tothe individual student. Te goal of theminor is to help students develop thereading skills and work ethic they needso that at the end of the 20 weeks, theymay have taught themselves how to write.

Tis years group was as diverse as ever:20 students representing 10 languagesincluding Dutch, German, English,French, Czech, Spanish, Norwegian,Swedish, Arabic and Greek. In the courseof the minor, they read some 100,000words (including short stories, novels and

poems) and wrote another 50,000 (the sizeof a short novel). Te quality and diversityof their writing is all the more impressivewhen you consider that most of thesestudents were working in their second(sometimes third) language: English. Someof their innovative work is included here.It was a privilege to work with them theselast three months. I hope you will enjoytheir stories and poems as much as I have.

Many thanks to the staff of Mosaekfor providing this platform and toDean Rein de Wilde, Wiel Kusters, Jande Roder, Barbara Beckers, MarietjeKardaun, Lies Wesseling, and allthe other faculty and staff who havecontributed to the minor this year.

Ana Menendez, Coordinator of theCreative Writing Minor.

Creative Writing

editorial

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Come home from work which youdont like because you think that your bossis using you, taking advantage of the factthat he knows you are a depressed. Butwho cares, right? So, come back to yourapartment. Or, before that, go to thesupermarket and do some groceryshopping to ll out the extra time youhave on your hands since you are single. At the supermarket, buy some stuff foryour cat, dog, hamster. As a result, youllfeel better about yourself by feelingresponsible for someones else life even ifits only the one of your pet. Buy somemake-up. You saw on V it could changeyour life to have a $ 12,99 lip-stick thatstays on your lips for twenty-four hours.Tere was also that washing-machineproduct a friend of yours talked about andthat you could buy. But, when you see the

price, think twice before buying it. If youhave a little extra money that month, takeit, but otherwise stick with the cheapproduct that has nally always worked. Ifyou run into an ex-boyfriend of yourswith his new wife and baby, smile and bepolite to show youre not angry anymore,that you stopped thinking about him.Maybe, even lie. Say that your boyfriend issomewhere in the supermarket buying

some champagne, wine, beer, so thattheyll think youve planned a fun nighttonight. If your ex is a gentleman, tell himyour new boyfriend went to buy somechampagne. If he is a romantic, a bottle ofwine. If he is a real man that he went tobuy some beers. It will make him jealousand leave you alone. Afterwards, makesure they leave the shop before going tothe cash-registers. You dont want to re-run into him with his new wife and theirugly baby. Get some ice-cream to comfortyou about having to lie just then. Youllfeel a little better. Or get the bottle of wineyou saw earlier. Now you have a reason tobuy it and drink it. If a guy makes a passat you when you are in the alcohol section,dont pay attention to him. As usual hellbe ugly and rude, as usual he wont be therich, handsome man you see in movies.

Anyway, youre just too prude to hang outwith a complete stranger. When goingback home, buy some cigarettes on theway, it will make you feel like a strongerwoman. But also, so you have somethingelse to do. All the other shops are alreadyclosed because of the long hours you putin at work since you have an awful andmisogynistic boss. Plus, cigarettes will gowell with the cheap bottle of ros you

Into The NightOf A Single Chick Delphine Legrain

short story

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ended up buying. After going back home,realize you dont want to cook anymore. You cooked enough already this week for

yourself, so order Chinese. Not a pizza orMexican food because youve gained someweight this past month and you need totry loosing it. Or, at least, avoid gainingmore. Correct, you dont want to look likeyour fat friend who cant go to the beachafraid to be in a swimming suit. Additionally, next Saturday, when youllgo out with some girlfriends who are alsosingle (or married but who want to ndyou someone like they have), you dontwant to feel too tight in your dress andlook like a slut or a desperate girl. Youveseen all those models in magazines staringat you with their big smile, happy abouthow thin they are and how the fth dietnally worked out. In fact, in this monthsmagazine, the picture will show you askinny girl with a white fat man; she willlook cheerful, and he will look as if he hasmoney in the bank. Youll think sheslucky to have found someone. At least, shehas a man in her life who loves her for whoshe is. So youll also try to stay in shape, oreven, youll stop eating for a while to makesure youll remain skinny enough. But not

tonight. When back at your ill decoratedapartment which smells like cat, dog,hamster, have a scoop of that ice-creamyou bought to make you happy and thenput it in the trash. You had enough. Youllfeel guilty to have spent $ 5,99 on Hagen-Dazs, so open the ros which was only $2,99, yet which will comfort you betterthan the ice-cream. While orderingchinese, youll think about the ex you saw

earlier in the supermarket. Youll imaginehim and his wife eating. After the secondglass of wine, go on Facebook to check if

you have any messages or notications.End up stalking your ex, looking at all thepictures of his baby and all his posts abouthow overjoyed he is, and all the lovelymessages he sent on the wall of his bitchwife. After the third glass of wine (yourealready tipsy because you havent eatenyet), call a friend the gay one or themean one, either would be efficient togossip about him. Ten, lie about howyou saw him with another girl when youstopped to get some coffee somewhere.How that girl looked like a slut and wasirting with him and how he lookedexcited and how he was touching her andthat you are sure they slept together, butyou dont want to say anything, really,because its not your business anymore. After hanging up, you know that the gayfriend or the mean one or both, will bealready calling another friend, and youllfeel comforted. He should not havebroken up with you for his wife. Heshouldnt have done that. Plus, you thinkshe seems way dumber than you. Smartgirls always end up alone. Only the ones

who let their husbands do whatever theywant are going to stay married forever. Atleast, you did not submit to him youllthink, and that is good. But maybe, youshould have cooked a little bit more whenhe came back from work, you should havemade him better dinners. You should havebought him more beer so at night hewould have been more relaxed. He wastense after his workday. You probably

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should have let him hang out with hisbuddies you didnt like while you shouldhave stayed home ironing his shirts for the

next days. But whatever, shake your head,and serve yourself the fourth glass of wine.Believe that, in any case, hes going toleave her too for a younger one, maybeeven for the babysitter whom he fucked inthe living room while his wife was workingout at the gym late, trying to lose theweight she gained during her secondpregnancy. If you decided to ordersomething, tip the delivery guy when hecomes so hell hit on you a little. If hesugly, dont tip him much. Keep the changefor next time. Eat the Chinese food, or thesushi, or the pizza you nally resolved toorder. Choose to start your diet tomorrow,or at least, skip breakfast and dinnertomorrow. Eat the food with the cat, dog,hamster next to you so youll feel you havecompany. Teyll be your friends untilthey are able to escape from you. At thesame time, watch a show like Sex in theCity which tells you that you can alwaysnd true love even if you are more thanthirty years old, and that you hooked upwith half the men of the city you live in.Or watch a chick-ick like How to Lose a

Guy in 10 Days, which demonstrates youthat you can be a bitch to him all the time,and still, he will fall in love with you whenyou come out of a party with a fabulousyellow dress. Plus, in the movie, the actoris really hot so you can fantasize abouthim afterwards, in your bed. But rst, callyour mother because you want to talk tosomeone other than your pets beforegoing into your empty room. Call your

mother and complain about everything inyour life (your job, your friends, your ex,your carpet), so you dont have to pay a

shrink to do so. If your mother is notaround anymore then make anappointment to see a shrink, otherwiseyoull end up frustrated and bitter likeyour old neighbor who listens to Elvis allthe time. Your mother and the shrink willsay that you are a nice girl and that its anyman loss not to date you. Your mom willannoy you about getting married soon. Infact, there are some good points in payingsomeone to listen to you; you wont haveto hear all that crap about how youryounger cousin is already getting engagedand moving in with this sweet man shemet on vacation. Also, the shrink will nottalk about your eggs getting older whileyoure still single. Nevertheless, he mightnd some shit hidden in your unconsciousyou dont want to know about. Anyway,consider that soon youll meet the rightman even if most of them are alreadymarried, gay, or dead. Your mother wantsgrandchildren to take care off since yourdad has left her to go to Miami to seduceyounger women. Hang up the phonewhen she starts complaining too. Its not

why you called. Keep your socks onbecause your bed is cold. ake a pill tohelp you sleep. Or dont. But, you knowyou hate waiting to fallasleep in your dark bedroom all alone.

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Into Te Night Of A Single Chick


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11

Come here m(oody) dear. Come down the stair.Its lonely in the kitchen where I shout.

I cant recall the colour of your hair,Tis notepad lls my memory with doubt.

Come here m(adly) dear. Come down the hall. And raise my clumsy rhymes from misery.

So clich rosebuds clich dewdrops all,Might lyrically dissolve between your knees.

Come here m(urmur) dear. Come through the door. And tread across the terracotta tiles.

My thoughts alone cant keep your touch in store, And poems make these meters feel like miles.

But no, she said. I cannot come to you.Te oor is cold and I forgot my shoes.

The Kitchen Floor Alie acq

sonnet

11

http://pigeonsjustlikethat.weebly.com/ R e t r i e v e d f r o m : h t t p : / / p a p e r d o l l s f o r b o y s . l e s . w o r d p r e s s . c o m / 2 0 0 8 / 0 5 / i m g_ 0 0 0 6 . j p g


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13

Michael starred at his unshavedface in the bathroom mirror as his wifewalked in and put her arms around hiswaist. How are you feeling today?

Good morning, Im sorry if I wokeyou. I have an appointment in the citysoon he answered.

Nonsense darling. I wanted to saygood luck before you left anyway. Areyou sure you are up for it today?

Yes, yes, I feel ne he said beforehe kissed his wife on the cheek. He thenadded You know I love you, right? Hiswife gives him a warm smile as she said, Iknow, and you know I love you too. So,is this the last one?

Yes, its the last he answered with akind smile. Shoot, I have to get going,the bus leaves in ten minutes! he said ashe quickly left the room.

Are you sure you want to take thebus? It would be so much easier if you

would just let me drive you? his wifeasked as he was getting dressed.Te bus is ne. And I feel better if I

play the part, you know thatI know darling, but promise, if you

get tired or if there is anything, you callme, you hear!I will darling, I will. Gotta go. Love you.

You are doing a good thing Mikey,

he heard his wife say as he tied his shoesand put on his worn out leather jacketbefore the door shut behind him.

Before he entered the employmentcenter, he took a sip of the silver askhe had in his inner pocked, and poppeda pill from his box to ease the constantheadache. It was the most effectivesolution, although he knew it was not thehealthiest one. It was the only thing thathelped at this point. He thought back tothe rst time he did this; he entered thehomeless shelter with sweaty palms andstuttered almost every word that cameout of his mouth. Te lady he spoke toback then seemed very surprised when heasked to take a look around the shelter,probably thinking he was a street thieftrying to steal anything he could gethis hands on. She starred at him with askeptical and judgmental look, until shenally gave in and showed him around.

He wasnt nervous this time though,this was his last stop, and he entered thecenter with a calm sensation owingthrough his body.

After waiting less than ve minutes,he was greeted by a young woman ofwhat he assumed were Hispanic origins.She had kind eyes, and smiled politelyas she introduced herself. Mr. Jones, we

Make it MatterKaroline R. Samuelsen

short story

13

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spoke on the phone. Im Miss Martinez,but you can call me Angie. Ill beshowing you around today, and hopefully

I will be able to answer any questions youmight have.Nice to meet you Angie, and please

call me Michael.May I ask what brings you here

today, Michael? Angie asked as shestudied his face.

Uhm, I I would like to get mylife back to track, and would just like tosee what your employment center is allabout.

So this is completely new to you,huh?

Yes, Ive been trying to get my lifeup and running on my own, but now Iknow I need help.

Tats a brave choice, Michael, andthat is exactly what we are here for. CanI get you anything to drink before we getstarted with the tour? Angie said witha smile. Michael shook his head andpolitely declined the offered beverage.

Te room to your left is ourcomputer room, where clients can use theweb to apply for jobs, or work on theirrsums, or whatever else they would

need them for. We also offer computerclasses if you dont know how to usea computer, and we also have typingexercises to get you to at least type 50words per minute. Angie explained asMichael shyly looks around. Te nextroom is one of out three classrooms,where we have classes in how to talk tosomeone in an interview, and thingsthat you might be asked while on a job

interview, like turning your negatives intoyour positives and so on. We also provideclothes and briefcases to lend out for your

interviews in case you dont own yourown. People donate clothes to us all thetime Angie continued as they walk pastthe third classroom.

On the right we have our lunch andsocial room for when there are breakbetween classes. Oh, and if you are asmoker, we dont allow any smoking inour facilities, not even the break room.But we have an ashtray outside. Notthat I think you would smoke inside,but I have to mention it due to previousincidents. Angie says with a hint of anervous laugh.

An elderly lady entered the room.Angie, there is a phone call for you upfront, its Mr. Douglas she said as shelooks at me with a kind smile.

Michael, do you mind waiting inhere for a few minutes, I have a phonecall I need to take Angie said as shewalked out of the break room. No, thatsne he replied and sat down at one ofthe free tables in the lunch room.

As he was waiting for Angie tocome back, he looked around the room,

noticing the water stains in the cornersof ceiling. I hope thats not mold, hethought to himself as he stood up anddecided to take the liberty to take a quicklook around the facility. It looked prettydecent at the rst glance, but while hewalked through the hallways he spottedmore of water stains in the corners andthe ceiling. Some tiles in the oor seemedloose. As he kept walking he saw an

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empty classroom to his left and decidedto take a look inside. As he lookedaround he gured there were about

fteen desks, and twenty somethingchairs that looked like they came out ofan 80s movie. Te wallpaper was peelingoff the walls, and there the computerat the front of the room could not havebeen made in this century. As he heard apair of heals clicking down the hallway,he ran into the mens room, thinking itwould be a fair enough excuse for wherehed disappeared to in case it was Angiecoming down the hallway. As he satdown on the toilet, the intense pressurein his head repapered. He took out hisorange box of pills and took two more.He splashed some water in his face andstared in the mirror for a minute just togather himself before he walked backinto the room where Angie had askedhim to wait. Angie was already waitingfor him and once Michael returned, shecontinued to show him around in thebuilding.

So, this is about the end of our littletour, do you have any questions for me? Angie asked.

Uhm, what if Ive had a history with

alcohol and drug abuse? he inquiredshyly.Tat is nothing to be ashamed

of, many of our clients have struggledwith addiction, and we also offer a veryeffective rehabilitation program for ourclients. Angie replied while lookingkindly into Michaels eyes.

Tat wont be necessary. And if I havea daughter would there be someone

to look after her while Im attending theprograms here? Michael asked.

We do offer special classes to clients

who would like to spend time with theirchildren during the day. Tese classestake place early in the morning and latein the afternoon. Is there perhaps a familymember or family friend who couldwatch her during these times? Angieasked with a comforting voice.

No, its just me. Michael replied.Unfortunately we cannot offer day

care for our clients children due to lackof resources. Many face the same problemand are oftentimes forced to bring theirchildren to daycare facilities in town. Ireally wish we did, and it is certainly onthe top of our wish list she said beforeshe added, You are not the rst one withthis issue, so we will do anything we canto accommodate your needs in terms ofscheduling your meetings, however, inthis economy, we cannot do much more.

I understandTere are however many jobs which

offer day care, so we can help you lterout the places you send your applicationsto Angie added with a smile and if youdecide to work with us, we can try to

gure out times for your classes that suityou and your child the best.Michael looked around the room.

Every eye he met greeted him with sucha kind look. Tis place felt right, hethought to himself.

I hope we will be seeing you againMichael? Angie said. Michael felt thatshe meant every word.

Uhm, yes, I will be in touch

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he answered as a colleague of Angieapproached and handed her a phone witha wordless gesture.

Im sorry. I have to take this. Justone minute she said as she turned to thecorner of the room and took a coupleof steps. Hey George, how can I helpyou?...

Michael saw this as his chance toleave without attracting Angies attention.He got up and walked to the door withquick steps, leaving a small envelope onthe oor, right in the spot where he had just sat.

Angies conversation with Georgeonly lasted 20 seconds and she turnedaround to the chairs to say goodbyeto Michael, only to notice that he hadalready left. She noticed the envelope onthe oor and picked it up. Te writingon the front spelled the words: Makeit matter. Angies heart started to beatfaster. She opened up the envelope andpulled out a single piece of paper. As sherealized, what it was she was holding inher hand, her heart suddenly skipped abeat. Te envelope contained a checkfrom Michael to the employment center;a check of 2 million dollars. She looked

around trying to spot Michael as shebecame more overwhelmed with everysecond that passed. She looked to thefront door, dropped everything she hadin her hands and started running afterMichael. She hurried outside the buildingto nd Michael, but he was nowhere tobe seen.

As Michael was on his way home,he thought about the past weeks and allthe places he had been to, leaving his

envelopes around town. Almost his entirefortune was gone, made out to peopleand institutions that Michael consideredworthy of the money. His wife would betaken care of, however, as he left her witha decent amount of money and shares inhis old company. Now, that his journeywas over, he felt relief. Now he couldaccept what was coming. His tumor wasnow at the size of a football and it was just a matter of days. His corporate yearswere over, and once he realized how littletime he would have left, he realized howlittle good he had done in his life. He hadalways been the CEO who needed hiscompany to grow and generate revenue.Never had he thought about importantthings, other things than himself, neverof other people. He had a good life, andit never crossed his mind to think ofhelping others. Not until he got sick.His whole image of life changed, theimportant things is life were not money.He had done it all wrong, but he stillhad the chance to make a certain kindof amends for his negligence he realized

when he was given his diagnosis. And asMichael went to bed that night, he wentto bed with content smile on his facewhile holding his wife. He was ready todie; he had nally done what he wantedto and felt like he had to do. He gaveback, he supported others, he mattered.

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17

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19

Te people that stare

at me, starewith kind curiosity,But all I seeare vulgar vulturesundressing me,caressing me,with howling hungry eyes.

Te shaking comes rst,Ten the blushing Ten. Te.Sweat.

The AudienceAre WolvesLara Bergers

poem

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r i g h t

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I m a g e b y E v a A r m i n o

21

We leave our houses at 6.30 in

the morning and make sure we alllook our best. Little Sandy Burkenswears her cute brown dress, and Mr. Jones combs what little is left of hishair over the bare sides of his skull.

Te moment the town bell echoesover the plaza, seven knocks on the irongates, everyone at once makes their waytowards the stage. Tis is common whenwe celebrate festivals or festivities likethis day. Te sunlight gets blocked by thevertical striped ags, to then be given clearpassage to our longing eyes when the windlets so, and makes us feel free. Te momentthe hangman and his companion walk up

to the rope, the feeling intensies. Even

though we never discuss these matters, weknow we are all addicted of some kind;not by the cruelty of what is happeningin front of us - for some ten yards, for theother a hundred - but by knowing it is notus. Not us, waiting to feel the oor vanishunderneath our feet, to hear our neckssnap and the crowd chanting. It is not us.

Most of them used to be, but oncethey started seeing things from a differentperspective they were not anymore; facingus from under the row of ags, like acrown great kings from far foreign landswould wear after greatly spilling blood.

UsFerre Westermann

short story


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23

Pour une enfant qui sautait la corde

Ici se repose, essouffle,

Elizabeth, dsoriente.

Ses bottes, courant en vain nont pu,

Lloigner de la rude nuit nue.

La terre nous encercle tous,

Jusquau tout dernier bout de pouce,

lizabeth va tabriter

car sur la mort, tu vas trbucher.

ranslated version of:Little Elegy by X.J. Kennedy

Petite lgie Marilyn Clarkov

poem

23

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25

You are running,So fast, so long,

But you are not moving, You are running.

Inhale, exhale,Inhale, exhale,

Breathing,Running,

But not progressing.

You are watching a far,But you are not going anywhere.

Your sweat is running

all around your t body moving.Te girl next to you

is watching yourunning.

You cannot see hernext to you

running.

In front of youa screen.

You are looking at people talking, You are watching people eating,

You are observing people moving,

Whereas you are not, You are just running

On a treadmill.

The RunnerDelphine Legrain

poem

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Love is what keeps me saneTe warmth of his touch tickles my heart

Te beauty of his soul is inhumane And the shape of his body is a true form of art

Te night seems endless when Im aloneI lie there thinking how lucky I am

So many times have I reached for the phoneInstead I stand by the window, admiring the nights of Amsterdam

As I dream I see his faceI started living when we rst met

Tis man is my dream, my only graceIf he leaves, death would be my only outlet

As the daylight hits, Ive been so off track I remember now that he is gone and never coming back

Insane LoveKaroline R. Samuelsen

sonnet

R e t r i e v e d f r o m : h t t p : / / w w w . r i v e n m a g . c o m / w p - c o n t e n t / u p l o a d s / 2 0 1 3 / 0 6 / K a t e_ N o v a_ 4 . j p g


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What? What is so important youhave to leave today?

Its some business I have to settle.

You run a business, B.W?Yes. Something like that. And itsrather urgent.

But youll be back, right?Tat is up to fatebut Id certainly

love to.You should, you should! She hugs

me tighter, imprinting her visage on mychest.

Please, Hildi, show me your smile. Icame here especially early so as to take mytime to say goodbye, dont you appreciatethat?

I do, I do. But mother, she askedme to deliver cake to grandma. I was justabout to never mind, I can skip outon that.

You certainly shouldnt do that.It would sadden your mother if youdisobeyed her.

Im saddened by you now!Oh Hildi, its not my intention to do

so. But think of your poor mother, shewakes up early every morning and slavesaway to support you. Surely, you can dosomething as simple as delivering a cake?

Yes, I can. I will But Ill hurry upand come back. Wait for me. I want to seeyou once more before you go, okay?

Ill try.You promise.I promise.Ill hurry up then. Will you be at your

cottage?Ill nd you.

Here or what?Ill nd you no matter what.Okay, I should get ready then.

She dons her red mantle, whichsets up a nice contrast against her palecomplexion. Red has always suited herbest. Its as if blood surging throughicea dying heroine of some tragic play,an Ophelia, or perhaps a Desdemona, butwith a strange, playful twist, added by herchildish facial expressions.

Here, let me help you, pulling hercap up, We wouldnt want the wind tobite into your soft plump cheeks, wouldwe? She giggled again. Is it because of thetouch of my hand, brushing against hercheek, or simply a habit of young girls yetto lose their innocence?

Im off then?No wait, your grandma, she lives

across the woods right? You shouldnt gothrough there though. ake the detour.

ake the main road.Why?Why? Tey are doing construction

work.Really? What are they making?Making the world a better place.You are funny, B.W.

I guess I am. Well, off you go now,my red adventuress. Be careful.And youll see me once more before

you go. You promised.Yes, I know. Oh, one last thing, do

you happen to have any serving plattersmetal onesthat I can borrow?

Yes, but why?Why, to serve someone of course.

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Biggs B.W.

Okay, they are in the top left shelf ofthe kitchen, but bring them back. Motherloves them.

Ill try, Hildi. Ill try. Goodbye, mylady. And a kiss on her petite hand.Goodbye, my lord. She makes a

clumsy bow and skips ahead.Remember, the main road.I will, I will, echoes in the

background, reassuring me.I want to see her again, especially

having seen her now, I realize its neverenough. Plus, I promised her right? Adifficult promise nonetheless, but notimpossible. One more time. But this wassupposed to be the last time. Always alast time more. Forget it. Even if I makeit, I would be nothing but trouble. Ourgoodbye just now was as good as anytime couldve been. Im content. Am I?Focus, Biggs. Te woods. Te Pack andRoswell. Settle that rst, then think aboutthe future. Now, off to the woods, to thePack.

Its not a long walk from Hildis house.In fact, its so close that I was somewhatworried, but thanks to Hildis mother,she is far away on the road now. Tewoods themselves arent too unpleasant.

Ive been here several times with Hildi.Especially today seems to be a ne day. Orit would have been, if I was taking a strollwith Hildi. Te morning air is fresh. Tewind is calm and cool. Te sun is peeringpleasantly through the branches. But alas,today, Im with the Pack.

Te Pack. Before I split up with them,there were six of us. Knowing Roswell,

hell probably get another rookie or twofor the job. Rookies dont matter; itsthe equipment I need to know about.

Roswells habit is to always have someonbehind, patrolling, while they are gettingready. I can meet up with the patrol rst.

It should be easy, just concentrateand listen. Te woods are dense, but itssilent, especially in the early morning, anymovement or sound, like that of people,is easily registered. Birds singing, a quitbeautiful tuneNo, focus. Te softwind blowing, leaves uttering, branchessnapping. Branches snapping, thats thesound. Is it footsteps? Coughing, clearingthe throat, spitting. Its a person all right.But how many? No talking. Just one. Is itthe patrol? Well, only one way to nd out.

Uhum. A lazy imitation of a cough,but caught his attention nonetheless.

Whos there? Tat voice, its Francos.So Roswell picked him.

Hey, its me. Dont worry.What the ... Biggs! What in the world

are you doing here?Roswell said this was the next place

right?Yeah, he did. But, oh man, we thought

you dead, and, well, wow, wouldnt expec

you be showing up outa nowhere.Well, Im here now. Where is Roswell?Preparing?

Preparing my ass. Tey are justsmokingwaiting for the bank to open.

So what equipment we using?Eh, small job, so just revolvers I

guess? Ol wild west style.No Tompsons or anything?


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Ha, for a town like this?All right. Could you lead the way to

Roswell? Ill walk right behind you.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Tey gonnabe so surprised. So how did you surviveanyway? We all thought you got shot,with you falling down and all. Tats whywe didnt wait. No hard feelings right?

Not at all, not at all. And I certainlygot shot, but I somehow got away andthought I head to this town rst and laylow while waiting for you guys. Collapsedon the way though, and if it wasnt fora lovely young lady who found me andtended my wounds, I wouldnt be heretoday.

Wow, thats lucky I tell you. She liveshere?

Yes, she does. Reaching for my gun;dont turn around, Franco.

Tats not so lucky then. Roswell isgonna make a mess of this town.

Yes, Roswell always makes a mess. Wealways make a mess. But its time to cleanit up, Franco.

Yeah, its time tohuh? what doyou

A bullet to the back of his head. Goodto know I still have my accuracy and

speed. Franco, falling down like a log, nota single twitch. Tats good too. I didntdislike him too much, so I reckon hedeserves a smooth ride to whatever placehes going.

Te gunshot just now oughtve alertedthe Pack. Focus. Reload, hide, ambush.Tats the plan, even though its not muchof a plan. Waitfootsteps. Already? Was the Pack so close by? No, its just a

local. A hare in his left hand, but moreimportantly, a rie slung over his rightshoulder.

I I didnt see anything, sir. Just letme go. And Ill say nothing to no one.Should I let him go? His hand seems

to be gripping the rie strap real hard.Hes cowering in fear, but ready to fendfor his life. I know his kind: he is familiarwith the gun, used it many times beforebut only on animals; hes not ready to useit on a human target. So it should be allright as long as hes not forced. Okaythen. Listen, rst of all let go of your riestrap. Dont touch any part of your rie,Ill shoot you before you even have itaimed. Now, back away slowly.

Please dont do anything stupid. Ireally dont feel like killing a local. Or atleast, not a local from Hildis town.

Now turn around and run. Just run,dont look back or anything. You give asmuch as a glance, Ill shoot you. Got it?Go!

Hurry up and run, damn huntsman,out of my sight! I have to trust hed doas I say. I wasted too much time. Anotherperson is showing up already. And severalshadows behind him. Looks like this time

its really the Pack. Calm down and think.Should I hide and ambush? No, theyshouldve spotted me by now. But theyhave no idea what happened yet. Teyonly heard the gunshot. Tey dont knowFrancos dead yet. Tey dont know who Iam. For now, align the gure to your sight

Franco! What happened? We heardgunshots. Tat voice, its Jimmysand

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Jimmys no more.Get behind cover! Behind the trees!

Tats Roswell. Sharp as always. I also have

spotted Mad Mart, Wilson, H. Dog, andtwo unfamiliar gures. So two rookies. Allof them got behind big oak treesjust intime. Should I get behind cover as well?no, it would only drag things out.

Who is it? Who shot Jimmy?I-I think I s-saw Biggs. Mad Mart,

stuttering as always whenever there isgunght.

B.W? Is that you?Yes, its me.Oh damn, its really him. Boys, dont

show a single part of your body!Roswell, he knows my accuracy. But

the rookies dont. Focus. Are any of themnot following Roswells advice? I spot, Ispot Is that a foot sticking out? Donthesitate, take the shot. Te rookie jumpsand screams. Another shot. Five men leftnow.

I said get behind the trees with yourwhole body! Your whole damn body, dontshow a single hair!

You know that isnt going to save you,Roswell.

You, why are you doing this, B.W?

Is it revenge? I didnt know you were thetype. You know, we didnt want to leaveyou behind. You were shot. We all thoughtyou werent going to make it!

We? You mean you, Roswell. You callthe shots. You thought that. In any case,this isnt revenge.

What is it then?Its love.Huh? What the hell you talking

about? Why do you always have to act likesome crazy son of a bitch? I really dontget you sometimes. Tere are sixI mean,

ve of us. Whatever crazy you are up to,you dont stand a chance.Oh, Roswell, you know how good of

a shooter I am. How quickly you crawledbehind that tree is proof of that. For me,ve, six, its all the same; I got a bullet foreach of you.

He is bluffing. Hes wasted at leastthree bullets, and he aint got the bloodytime to reload. We shootem full of holesbefore that!

Is that H. Dog? You know, you areprobably gonna die rst. Your name hasalways annoyed me. What does it evenmean?

It means Hell Dog. You stupid orsomethin?

Ah, now I want you dead all themore.

You think so? You wanna do thisBiggs?

Wait, wait. Lets talk this out. Do wereally have to do this, B.W? We could justwalk away, you know. Pretend none of thishappened. A misunderstanding. urn ourbacks. You go your way, we go ours. How

that?Do you really trust your back withme, Roswell? I certainly dont trust minewith you.

Cmon, lets do this. I told you heonly got three bullets left. He aint got shiton us.

Tree bullets mean three bodies. Whos willing to make the sacrice? YouH. Dog?

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Ill fuckin kill you Biggs! Lets have ashowdown, right now, you and me!

H. Dog, calm down. Dont let him

provoke you. We can get him if we worktogether. How about this: we all jump outat the same time and shoot him.

But I d-dont wanna d-die!None of us wants to die, Mad Mart.

Tats why we all gonna jump out togetherand the chances of dying is totally random.Besides, who knows, maybe B.W. got abad day and his aim is off.

My aim is never off. Ask Jimmy andFranco. And that rookie lying there.

Lets ignore him, boys. Tis is how wedo it. I count to three. And at three, weall gonna jump out and make Swiss cheeseout of B.W. Is that clear?

Got it.Right.O-okay.One. wWait, boss. Wilson, never talks

much, but when he does, its alwaysuntimely.

What is it?So dene at three, do you mean

at the moment you start articulating

the word, or at the moment you nisharticulating the word?What the hell is the difference?Okay listen. Its not a long word, its

not complicated, its a matter of usingyour lthy ears. You hear somethingresembling a three, you go out, and youpull your trigger at B.W. And thats it. Imgoing to count again; dont interrupt methis time.

One. wo.Tr

An unfamiliar face steps out. A rookie. A dead rookie.What the, he wasnt even nished yet.

Why you step out dumbass?Cant hear ya, H. Dog. He dead.I can see that Wilson. Im not dumb.I th-thought you said at-at three.I wasnt nished yet.W-Well, I-I heard three!Why didnt you step out then?N-none of you st-stepped out!Should I reload? No, they act like a

bunch of mongoloids, but when it comesto killing, they are surprisingly sharp.

Okay, how about I just re my gun? You hear a loud bang, you go out and killhim. All right?

You b-b-better step out!Yeah, just do it.Looks like they sorted it out. Four of

them against two bullets of mine. Tequestion is who is stepping out rst andwho I am going to shoot rst. Its not goingto be Mad Mart. Despite his name, hesthe sanest of the Pack. Perhaps thats whythey think hes madby their standard. It

wasnt Roswell either. Hes going to use theexcuse of ring the gun to step out later. Wilson? Maybe. But hes not my priority.Te one I want and the one who is goingto step out rst is H. Dog. He has the bestaim after me, hes the most dangerous, andhe will be eager to prove himself, especiallyafter my provoking.

Roswell res his gun. Te shot islouder than usual, perhaps because of the

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tension and focus: its all on the tree H.Dog is hiding behind. A hand slips out,but hes not ring yet. He wants to prove

himself; he wants to have my head. Notme, Ill take whatever I can get. Te sightof my revolver, swaying, hovering, onwhateverhis arm. Shoot. He screamsand drops his gun. Now I can go for hishead. In total: two bullets for H. Dog. Well worth it.

Te rest of them have come out.Now is the crucial part. urn quickly,make sure no one shoots you in the back.Grab for bullets, in your pocket, quicklyreload. oo late. A hole in my shirt, justbelow the heart. Another one, near myabdomen. Te pain kicks in, but no redowing, thats good. It means the bulletdidnt pass through and is blocking theblood. Only mud is splattering and woodsare splintering. Teir aim is terribly off.

All guns emptied. I am still standing,and they are just staring, stupeedImnot sure at me or at their own lousy aim, butwhateverRelax, the bullets, still in yourhand. Reload your gun, steadily. But myhands, tremblingtrouble breathingchest hurtsstomach toodont focuson the pain! Focus on reloading. ake the

bullet between your ngers, and slowlydrop it in the chamber, dont drop it onthe ground or do anything stupid. Terst one in. Tey are reloading too now.Faster than youdont pay attention tothem. Te second one in. Tey are almostdonebut its all right. Te third one in.Tree is enough. In situations like these,never reload more than you need.

Im ready; they are still trying to fully

reload. ake your timebut not toomucheither the head or the heart. Terst shot, right between Wilsons eyes.

Now, go for Mad Mart, he has snappedthe cylinder back, realizing you didntfully reload. But too late. Te second shot,right through his heart. Goodbye Mart, atleast you wont be stuttering anymore.

Now is Roswells turn. Where is he?Running. I guess he gave up the momentI shot Wilson. Well, well, he showed hisback to me after all. ake aim. Blurry.Te pain. My aim ... is it off? I had mysight on him a second ago. I was sure. Just pull the trigger damn it! Its eithertrusting your instincts or wait till youraim sways completely off. Did I got him?He fell down all right. But really dead, ormerely pretending? Never trust Roswell. Approach slowly, well, its not like I canmove quickly in my condition.

I see red, I see blood. Tats good.Hes holding his neck, has a mouthful ofbloodvery good.

See, thats what you get for running,Roswell. You suffering? I would gladly enit for you. But you got me quite good too,so I dont want to move much. You gonnahave to go slowly, Im afraid. But I guess

whatever place you are going, you arenttoo eager to go. Well, goodbye then, wehad fun together.

Should I have my wounds tended?But where? And how do I explain it? Ikilled several guys and got shot myself? Ah, never mind that. Its all too much ofhassle. I just want to see Hildi. I promisedher. And also, the serving platter. Yes, theserving platter, under my shirt, it sure

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Biggs B.W.


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helped. Her mom loves them she said. Ihope its not too badly damaged. Lets see.Tree holes. Well, it wasnt too bad out of

seventeen. Im sorry, Hildis mom, lookslike I cant return it, but I can still keep myother promise. Where are you now, Hildi? Are you at your grandmas yet? Where didyour grandma live again? Te other side ofthe forestyes, thats why you always gothrough the forest. Wait for me Hildi, Imalmost there.

Her grandmas cottage, I can see it. A few paces more. ake it easy. Dont doanything stupid like falling down anddislodging the bullets. Te door is withinmy reachknock. An old lady opens. Herhair is gray, face wrinkledand pale. oopale perhaps? Doesnt matter, I can seethe resemblance. Its the right place. ButHildi, is Hildi here? I dont see her.

Im sorry to intrude but A piercing scream.Lady, what are you Oh thats

right, my gun. Ive forgotten about that.Im still clenching it, right in front ofHildis grandma. And blood? So blood hasstarted dripping as well. When did it start?Its surprisingly red, my shirt, almost likeHildis mantle.

Please listen, Im not here to hurtyou A loud bang. What was that sound? More blood?a

lot of blood, doesnt seem right, and froma new spot, pouring out violently. Oh, I

got shot. Please dont tell me its Roswellno, looks like its just the huntsmanfrom earlier. Te goddamn huntsman,

jeopardizing my plans the whole day.Get away from him lady! He killed allthose people in the forest!

No, let me explain. Tey were goingto rob you and make a mess of your town.Tey were the bad guys. Tey were Or never mind, Im too damn tired tooexplain. Its sort of surreal, watching thehole, blood pouring out like wine from abottle. Its like its not a part of me. Its asif the moment he shot me, I got separatedfrom everything elseeven my own body.

Mustve been a terric shot to makeme feel this way. I have to commend himon that I guess. Went through my chestnice and clean. He was ready to use hisgun after all. A bolt-action rie. Lookslike its jammed now. Or hes freaking out,having never shot anyone before. I cantsee too clearly. Whats happening? A hand,my hand, touching the barrel, pushing itdown, as if gesturing dont bother. Dontbother indeed, Im out of here. Where to?Is he coming after me? Ah, to hell withthe huntsman. o hell with everything.I just want to see Hildi. Its blurry. But

differently. Watery. Am I crying? Oh,goddamn it all. Just let me see Hildi, onelast time. Please, let me see her. But thereis nothingI can see nothing. Nothingexcept a red moving dot.

Is that you, my little red Hildi?

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Born in 1979, Alain Delorme livesand works in Paris. Alain Delorme is agraduate from the Ecole des Gobelinsand has a Masters degree in Photography

from the Universit de Paris VIII. Hisphotographic work depicts the individualand its subjection to the phenomenaof normalization and standardizationpromoted by our consumer society.Describing himself as a pixel surgeon,Delorme uses digital photography andphotomontage to play with digital imageryin the way a geneticist plays with genes. Teresult is graphically striking photographs,saturated with color. Oscillating betweenrealism and ction, the willful departure

from reality leads us to observe thereal more critically and questionthe norms of contemporary society.In 2010, Alain Delorme presented his

otems series, the result of a residencyin Shanghai. Expropriating the codes ofphotoreportage, he offers a reshaped viewof Chinas new urbanism in the run up tothe 2010 Universal Exhibition. Te streetsof Shanghai bristle with moving otems,precarious assemblages of ordinaryobjects. Land of excess, new temple ofconsumption, worlds factory: everythingseems possible in China today. With thisseries, Alain Delorme confronts us thenwith our own credulity, our own fantasies.

Totem #9

cover photo

P h o t o b y A l a i n D e l o r m e . S e r i e s T o t e m s . T o t e m # 9 . 2 0

0 9 - 2 0 1 1 .

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