Creating the PersonYou’re Becoming

Dr. William G. Covington, Jr.

Universal Publishers/uPUBLISH.comParkland, Florida • USA • 1999

Copyright (c) 1999 Dr. William G. Covington, Jr.All rights reserved.

published byUniversal Publishers/uPUBLISH.comParkland, Florida 33067 • USA • 1999

ISBN: 1-58112-819-3

www.upublish.com/books/covington2.htm

AcknowledgementsAs this book points out, we need other people. I am

grateful for the help of my family, friends, and colleaguesacross the miles and years who have been there in variousways for me. These include: W. G. "Bill" Covington, Sr.,Edith Harris Covington, Gary Covington, MBA, CPA,Audrey Richardson (all of Louisiana), Naomi Gates, OlenGates (both of Alabama), Glenn W. Martin (Washington), Sue Edmunds, Etta Tillman (both of Louisiana), Joe Veiga,Charles "Sandy" Murray, David Wilson (all ofMassachusetts), Louisiana State Commissioner of InsuranceJames "Jim" Brown, Mary Lynn Kaiser, Russell and DorothySpaulding (all of Georgia) Dr. James J. McCluskey(Michigan), West Monroe Mayor Dave Norris (Louisiana),Koil Rowland, Molly Rowland (both of Missouri), BrianDeMarco (Massachusetts), Dean Jackson (Indiana), Dr.Anthony Esposito (Pennsylvania), Frank Pruitt (Missouri),Ernest "Buddy" Reed, Sam Hanna, Jr. Jimmy Hatten, EarnestMiles (all of Louisiana), Jeff Young (Florida), KimberlyAlexandre (California), Mare' Sims Brennan, Opal Shively,Christine Milton, Merrily Miller (all of Louisiana), and mostimportant of all Jesus Christ.

Other Books by Dr. William G. Covington, Jr.

Thoughts(Central, 1979)

Systems Theory Applied to Television StationManagement in the Competitive Marketplace

(University Press of America, 1997)

Creativity and General Systems Theory (Universal, 1998)

Creativity in TV & Cable Managing & Producing(University Press of America, 1999)

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Table of ContentsAcknowledgements / iii

Chapter 1 Creating the Person You're Becoming / 1Creating Your "Self"Creating "You" Through Your WorkProcess and ProductCreativity in the IntangiblesCreating Your "Self" is UnselfishObstacles to "Creating" thePerson You Want to BecomePut What You Want on the BoardLinking Your Gifts and Your GoalsGetting Ready for CreativitySteps to Enhance CreativityReferencesPersonal Reflection on Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Growing Beyond Independence / 21Accomplishment Takes PeopleInterpersonal Skills Needed for GrowthNonverbal Communication is TrickyTips for Improving PerceptionLearning Interpersonal Communication SkillsUsing Mentors to SucceedReferencesReflection on Chapter 2

Chapter 3 Principles That Always / 39Principle 1: WorkPrinciple 2: PersistencePrinciple 3: GenerosityPrinciple 4: UsePrinciple 5: HabitPrinciple 6: AchievementPrinciple 7: ThankfulnessPrinciple 8: Forgiveness

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Principle 9: HopePrinciple 10: WholenessApplication of the PrinciplesReferencesReflection on Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Listening Is Not as Simple as You Think / 53Listening is Active, Not PassiveMotivated to ListenListening Has PowerDifferent Kinds of NoisesFactors Influencing ListeningListening to Emotions and LogicListening Can be the DifferenceBetween Excellence and MediocrityTips for Improving ListeningReferencesPersonal Reflection on Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Sustaining Motivation / 71A Vitally Important MatterA Tool For Viewing LifeFilling UpThe Communication of DesirePratical Stress ManagementWhat's the Value of Your Contribution?Five Steps to Sustaining CreativityAs Iron Sharpens IronDeliberate PlanningHow Much Are You Reading?References Personal Reflection on Chapter 5

Chapter 6 Linking Your Goals toYour Organization's Goals / 91Who Defines Success?Compatible Passion

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Hidden AgendasSupportive OrganizationsWorking With Your PeersReferencesPersonal Reflection on Chapter 6

Chapter 7 Everybody's in Business for Themselves / 103That's Good NewsHow Your Work Defines YouFinding Your NicheWhew! More ReliefTwo "Spirations"Overcoming Jealous and MediocrityA Case StudyTake Those "Baby Steps" EverydayWin by Working Through AdversityImpression ManagementYou're Credibility is Always Under ScrunityManaging ConflictReferencesPersonal Relection on Chapter 7

Chapter 8 The Fun of Creating thePerson You're Becoming / 123"Are We Having Fun Yet?" Yes Indeed!Don't Expect Watermelons from Turnip SeedsCombining Two Principles of AchieversGetting the Most From Your AssociationsEleven Levels of NetworkingBecoming A Resource for Other PeopleReferencesPersonal Reflection on Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Your Personal Contribution / 145"You": Past, Present, and FuturePassion Leads to SuccessA Deeper Dimension

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Using Your BrainWhat Can You Contribute?Develop AssociationsReferencesPersonal Reflection on Chapter 9

Chapter 10 How to Make it All Work for You / 159Now What?Key Point from Chapter 1Key Point from Chapter 2Key Point from Chapter 3Key Point from Chapter 4Key Point from Chapter 5Key Point from Chapter 6Key Point from Chapter 7Key Point from Chapter 8Key Point from Chapter 9Notes

Chapter 1Creating the Person You're Becoming

God put into you the desire to amount to somethingand to be a vital factor in the world.

Norman Vincent Peale

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Chapter 1Creating the Person You're Becoming

Creativity is a fun activity. It brings out the ultimatein self-expression through the use of talents and abilities thatare unique to the individual. Creativity is found in everyconceivable arena. A feeling of exhilaration results when acreative contribution is made. Body, mind, and spirit arerewarded as chemical reactions in the body acknowledge thatsomething of value has been produced that did not existbefore.

Creating Your "Self"It is pretty obvious that creating your "self" does not

refer to the biological creation which takes place at birth. God creates man in His own image. He alone createssomething from nothing. Humans take existing matter,rearrange it and creativity results.

Creating your "self" refers to the exciting realizationthat we are in the process of development continually and wehave control over the process. To illustrate this point thinkabout education. A person attending college for four years isdifferent from an entering freshman. Throughout the processof education, the person changes. A "before" and "after"occurs. At the end of four years of college a person shouldbe more knowledgeable, have greater expertise in his chosenfield of study, and be better prepared to present hiscredentials to the marketplace than before being educated. When the phrase "education is a lifelong process" is used, itmeans we never finish this "before" and "after" process.

Creating the person you want to become is one of themost exciting forms creativity takes because it is so personal. It is holistic, which means it includes every part of life;mind, body, and spirit.

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Creating "You" Through Your WorkWork reveals a person's identity. In other words, you

are known by your works. Your reputation follows youthrough the works you do day in and day out. AndrewMurray said, "work is the highest form of existence." Beforelooking at how this is true in the practical day to day world,think about it in the context of history.

Thomas Edison is remembered because of hisinventions. Henry Ford is in the history books because hedeveloped an automobile that could be manufactured andsold at a price affordable to the average family. JohannGutenberg was known for inventing movable type, making itpossible for the people of Germany to have the Bibleavailable to them in their own language. Clara Barton wasknown for her work as a nurse who went on to found theAmerican Red Cross.

Other people have been known for their ability tomake significant contributions in several fields. The term"Renaissance man" is often used to describe someone withthis ability. The most logical place to start with an exampleis with someone who was a literal Renaissance man,Leonardo daVinci. The Museum of Science in Cambridge,Massachusetts featured an exhibit highlighting the variedactivities of DaVinci in 1998. I toured the exhibit and sawthat the work of this fifteenth century Italian includedcontributions in; science, art, medicine, writing,aerodynamics, music, and biology.

An American version of a "Renaissance man" can befound in Benjamin Franklin. He was a journalist, inventor,scientist, statesman, and author. In Stephen E. Ambrose'sbook, Undaunted Courage, the American explorerMeriweather Lewis comes across as a "Renaissance man" ofsorts. Before making the Lewis and Clark expedition, Lewismet with leading scholars of his generation to learn about the

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types of plants, animals, people, and land to be encounteredon the journey. Knowledge was limited obviously as theexpedition was in uncharted territory, but learning whatcould be learned in preparation for the trip was a major partof bringing back relevant materials to the nation's capitol.

Just as these historical figures are known by theirworks, people today are known by the contributions theymake. Works do not have to be of historical proportions tobe noticed. In your own experience you've known peoplewho could always be counted on for producing quality workby the due date as contrasted with others who are habituallyundependable. Reputation is acquired through work history. In this sense work defines us. We are known by our works.

Process and ProductIn the business world measuring success in a limited

short-term way can be a detriment to sustained long-termaccomplishment. A company that only looks at theimmediate quarterly profit statements neglects to considerthe sacrifices to long-range planning that might have takenplace to achieve those results. Like any other information,statistics have to be considered in a proper context if they areto have meaning.

Two humorous stories illustrate how statistics haveno meaning if placed in the wrong context. The firstconcerns a human resources executive interviewing threedifferent accounts for a job opening. The first applicant wasasked what is two plus two. He responded "four." Thesecond one was asked the same question. She replied, "fourpoint zero." The third accountant was asked, "what's twoplus two?" to which he replied, "what do you want it to be?" The third accountant was hired.

The second story involves a pizza. A customerpointed out the fallacy of taking statistics out of context

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when he went to a pizza parlor to order a pie. The serverasked, "do you want it in four or eight slices?" To which thecustomer replied, "better make it four, I don't think I couldeat eight." Statistics can be manipulated in business just as alawyer can manipulate words in court. Numbers aresymbols, as are words. The represent something other thanthemselves. Context gives meaning to both.

A few years ago I used a textbook to teach atelevision production course which emphasized the point thatthe process of producing a show is just as important as theend product, the show. In getting people from largelydifferent backgrounds to come together for the creation of asingle product the producer/director has to know humannature and has to have the ability to work with people. If aperson is skilled in the technical arena, but is unable toconsistently work with a production crew, their value islimited. Like all businesses television is a people business. Any business that is not is not viable.

Rather frequently in the business press studies arepublished that verify the fact that knowing how to work withpeople is at the heart of successfully operated companies. Employers want people who can work with others for thedesired completion of projects in a timely manner. This isprocess. Creativity is essential in this process, not just in theproduct being made.

Creativity in the IntangiblesImproving interpersonal communication skills with

coworkers is an intangible that has consequences. Gettingother people to "buy into" your vision or goal can be achallenging task. There are some principles that apply in thissituation that will be discussed later. The important thing torealize at this point is that other people have an influence onyour success. Knowing how to tap resources outside

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yourself increases your effectiveness.Communicating with other people takes time, but the

rewards can benefit all involved. No man is an island andintangibles such as enthusiasm, knowledge, insight, andfavor can be transferred from one person to another. Ecclesiastes 4:9 & 10 makes this point: "Two canaccomplish more than twice as much as one, for the resultscan be much better. If one falls, the other pulls him up; but ifa man fall when his is alone, he's in trouble (TLB)."

Creating Your "Self" is UnselfishThere is a small plaque in my office that reads, "what

you have been given is God's gift to you, what you make ofyour life is your gift to God." I don't know the source of thisquote, but it explains why creating your "self" through yourwork is not a selfish act. In fact the person who neglects toshare their potential with others is the selfish one. As Jesustaught, "...unto every one that hath shall be given; but fromhim that hath not, even that which he hath shall be takenaway from him." (Luke 19:26).

Talents, gifts, and abilities are meant to be used. Fulfillment comes in the act. Think about the animal world. Birds were meant to fly, lions were created to roar, fish weremade to swim. Unique talents within people were put therefor the benefit of all. Everybody has a contribution to makethat will not and, in fact, cannot be made by anyone else.

Obstacles to "Creating" the Person You Want to BecomeCharacter development is a process of overcoming

obstacles. You must know the challenges to be successful. Being able to identify the obstacles is the beginning of theovercoming lifestyle. These obstacles can be placed in sixcategories:

Fear

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ProcrastinationNegative ThinkingMediocrityDiversionsLack of Organization

It is liberating to know that each one of theseobstacles can be successfully faced and challenged. Knowing the nature of the obstacle is the first step toovercoming it. Thinking can be subtle, so just because youthink you know what you are facing, a more thoroughexamination might reveal some remnants of these enemies ofcreativity in the subconscious that have yet to be eliminated.

Probably the greatest threat to creativity is fear. Thisis because fear manifests itself in a variety of ways. Some ofthe most common manifestations of fear are:Fear of the unknown.Fear of failure.Fear of what other people will think.Fear of the past.Fear of the future.Fear of not doing something "perfectly" well.Fear of rejection.

Fear has torment. It paralyzes. It holds a person backfrom making the contribution he has the ability to make. Fear is cruel and ruthless. It is the reason so much potentialgoes unrealized. Fear is the reason the unwise steward in theparable of the talents hid his talent.

Character is developed through overcoming thispsychologically inhibiting principality. Before facing up toyour fears, they can first be obviated in many instancesthrough reasoning. Thinking reflectively about a situationhelps put things into perspective. When a person realizesthat "it really doesn't matter what other people think" an

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awakening or epiphany occurs. A light goes off. Abreakthrough is experienced.

Now this reflection process is not always easy toreach. That is way so many people remain victims of fear. The difference between the overcomer and the victim,however is that she knows that it can be reached. In somecases much effort, repeatedly applied is required. Overcoming is not necessarily an easy process.

At the heart of procrastination is intent. A personmeans well. Her intentions are to do the right thing, achievea meaningful goal. Time is the significant variable here thatkeeps a person from doing the thing they know to do. Theperson writing the copy for the athletic shoe advertisementpegged the appropriate response for procrastination with justthree words, "just do it."

Rational thinking can be used here again todemonstrate the fallacy of procrastination. People are judgedon what they do, not on their intentions. An accountexecutive who intends to make a monthly quota does notearn the commission earned by the AE who made thenecessary calls. This principle is in operation every businessday. People who are aware of it put it to beneficial use.

Some overlap can be found in this list of obstacles. For example, negative thinking is part of fear. A personfilled with fear feeds his mind with negativity. The antidoteto negative thinking is hope. Hope assumes a favorableoutcome, which is the opposite assumption of negativethinkers. Hope exercises the will. It focuses the will towarda desired outcome. It may not understand the "how," but iknows the goal and assumes it will be reached somehow,someway. An individual exercising hope realizes that theresult may come about in a totally unexpected way. Incomplex situations there are multiple ways of reaching adestination. This is a fact commonly known by strategists in

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large corporations.Sometime ago "the Chaplin of Bourbon Street" in

New Orleans, Bob Harrington described "average" as beingthat place where "the worst of the best meets the best of theworst." Mediocrity is lukewarmness. It reeks of apathy,indifference, noncommitment, "just going along." It hasbeen observed that the enemy of the best is the good. Settling for less than the best is compromise in its worstform.

Overcoming this enemy of success involves bringingto the forefront the very opposite traits of this entity. That is,where apathy exists stir up an internal "burning desire" toachieve which will overtake it. Challenge indifference andnoncommitment with determination and persistence. Even inthe early stages of it development, recognize the seeds ofmediocrity for what they are and weed them out before theygrow any further.

Having a variety of interests can be an asset orliability depending on how one manages his thoughts. If aperson dabbles in a lot of activities with nothing to show forhis efforts, there is no accomplishment. Such a person ischeated out of the enjoyment of producing fruit from aharvest of contribution. Diversions are desirable when theyare properly managed, otherwise they can be a detour fromthe path of goal-accomplishment.

Unlike fear, diversions keep a person busy. Theirdanger is in the fact that they can involve a person in doingthe "wrong things." That is, a person might consume largeamounts of time and other resources on meaninglessactivities. Life can become a perpetual playtime devoid ofsignificance.

Play is helpful and actually enhances the creativeprocess, but it must not consume a person's life. This is waygoal-setting is not a one-time event, but must be done on a

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regular basis. Knowing where you're heading is the key toovercome disruptions.

A lack of organization holds some people back frommeaningful achievement. They misappropriate theirresources and they get lost in the shuffle of their own plans. Information overload is a problem in the age in which welive. Resources are needed to achieve goals. Organizationputs the right resources toward desired ends. Organizationtakes time, but it is not wasted time, unless is overdone. Organization is an investment of time that enables a personto reach the goal line. People who fail to organize areplacing an unnecessary burden on themselves.

Put What You Want on the BoardWe do not have the option of beginning the creative

process with a blank board because we have someaccumulation already within ourselves. That's experience. We can use that background to our advantage, by using it asa foundation upon which to build.

Think of yourself in terms of a chalk board in thecreative act. What are you going to put on the board? Creativity is open-ended. With the alphabet there is anendless combination of words, sentences, and symbols thatcan be written on the board. So true with your creativeoptions. A limitless number of options await selection.

Purpose is a good place to start the process ofcreating the person you want to become. Build on yourstrengths. Analyze the gifts you have to offer. Answeringquestions such as these provides a clearer understanding ofwhat you have to contribute:1. When I am with friends what area seems to emerge as

my specialty, the area in which I seem to be mostgifted?

2. What activities do other people compliment me on?

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3. What do I enjoy doing?4. If I could design my ideal job what would it be?

What would I be doing in that job?5. What kind of work causes me to lose myself and

become totally immersed in the work itself?6. What are the top five activities that I enjoy the most

in my spare time?7. I feel a great sense of satisfaction and

accomplishment immediately after I have_______ ?

8. I see a niche that other people have overlooked. Someone needs to do something about ________.

9. I know I could _______ if I just had the time.10. An ability I have that has never been fully developed

is _______.

Linking Your Gifts and Your GoalsIf goals are not tied to gifts (abilities) the evaluation

process is useless. It serves no purpose to "know oneself"but neglect to go a step further and do something with thatknowledge. Fulfillment doesn't come simply because aperson who knows himself, but after action has been takenand the goal has been accomplished.

Doers are often reflective people who spend timepreparing before taking action. Charles Kingsley, for one,said "thank God every morning when you get up that youhave something to do which must be done." Now that's apositive attitude toward work and accomplishment. He wenton to add, "being forced to work, and forced to do your best,will breed in you temperance, self-control, diligence,strength of will, content, and a hundred other virtues whichthe idle never know."

Henry W. Longfellow's reflection on his work relatesto linking your unique abilities with the niche you discover.

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He noted, "I will be a man among men and no longer adreamer among shadows. Henceforth be mine a life ofaction and reality! I will work in my own sphere, nor wish itother than it is. This alone is health and happiness."

So the next logical step in the process is to think ofthe connection between what you have to offer and whatneeds can be met with your gifts. As anyone who has readbooks on goal-setting knows, goals are attained one step at atime. Small goals lead to intermediate goals which put onein a position to reach big goals.

Getting Ready for CreativityCreativity involves the intuitive right hemisphere of

the brain which cannot be coerced to perform. But creativitycan be enhanced and this portion of the brain can bestimulated if the right conditions are met. Unlike the leftside of the brain which is designed to interpret logicalmaterial, the right side is less structured. It responds toimages, impressions, touches, feelings, and scents.

In order to get both hemispheres involved in the actof creating the person you want to become, it's necessary forthe logical (left hemisphere) portion of the brain to record theinsights provided by the intuitive right hemisphere. Thisholistic approach can be described as a synergy between thetwo compartments of the brain. When they are used togetherthe results help a person achieve a level of creativity thatcannot be reached otherwise. So with this internal goal inmind, we can look at the steps that lead to an outwardmanifestation of this synergy, that is the creative act.

Steps to Enhance Creativity1. Thorough Preparation. While the intuitive righthemisphere of the brain does not rely on logic, a would-becreator has to have something worthwhile to contribute. This

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can only happen through preparation. Even creators such asscientists who present a totally new paradigm have to knowwhat the existing consensus is before they make their claims.

Preparation is reached through reading, meeting withknowledgeable colleagues at professional conferences,seminars, staying informed about the latest developmentsthrough media coverage, and just general observation of thepresent state of affairs. Social scientists make the point thatnot all observer that makes the difference.2. Openness to Change. A creative person iscontinually transformed as she takes in new material fromher environment, processes it and becomes more effectivethrough the transition. A willingness to change is essential ifthe positive change is to take place.

A spirit of humbleness is at the heart of such changes. A creative person humbles herself to new insights as theypresent themselves. There is a realization that a better wayto do something exists and the person is better for havingdiscovered it. After discovery comes use. Knowledgewithout use is pointless.3. Thankfulness. Closely associated with the secondstep is having a heart of gratitude. This helps one to seebeyond himself to a larger perspective. Humbleness is alsopart of this step. It causes an individual to see that she hasmuch for which to be grateful.

No person can be successful without other people. Aheart of humble gratitude means one is aware of this truth. This is not just a cliche. Any would-be creation only hasvalue as it meets a human need. Anything not meeting aneed is irrelevant, invalid, and useless.

Going beyond the human dimension is a hear ofthankfulness to God. Health, favor, understanding, the timein which to perform creative activities are outside the controlof the individual. Thankfulness for these and other gifts

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keeps one humble.4. Rest. There is a word to describe the act ofperforming at the same level consistently. That word is"mediocrity." Life has a natural God-given rhythm. When acreator discovers the pattern and works with the natural ebband flow, he gets better results for this efforts.

Life is built with rest periods. No one can perform athis peak at all times. Rest is necessary for achievement. It isnot luxury. A person ignoring this reality will suffer theconsequences of his lack of knowledge.

Different motivational and goal-setting books discussthe natural cycles of life in detail. Creative goal-settingincludes planning for short, intermediate, and long-termcycles. Daily goals should be linked with weekly goals,which need to be matched with month and quarterly goals. Yearly goals are steps toward decade long goals. Prioritiesshift over the years and a creative person adapts to the newrealities.

Sometimes a person will intentionally be"unbalanced" to reach a short-term or intermediate goal. Forexample, someone finishing a college degree might put moreemphasis on education at that point in life than they would atsome other point in time.5. Play. The subconscious mind (right hemisphere)does not perform under stress. Relaxation breaks up theopen-ended fertile field of growth. A sense of humor is avaluable asset for creators. It helps people see things from aunique perspective.

Play can include other people or can be done on theindividual level. In the midst of creating, flexibility is thekey. A degree of give-and-take is at the heart of creativity. A creator "toys" with ideas and experiments with new waysof doing things or perceiving something. An insatiablecuriosity is the creator's stock-in-trade. Trying things, testing