CREATING CAREFUL LISTENING AND CONVERSATION BETWEEN CONFLICT GROUPS

School Counseling ServicesMinistry of Education

multi cultural mediation committee

Irit Leviatan

Hyam Tanus

“Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is we powerful without measure. It is our light, not our darkness,

that most frightens us .We are ourselves “ who am I to be brilliant gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually , who are you not to be? You are a child of God; your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you .

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our

presence automatically liberates others”.

Nelson Mandela,1995

Guidelines for Creating careful listening and conversation.

A program developed in Israel based on ideas from family therapy and narrative therapy.

Transformation of feelings and thoughts within a safe space, Gives us the opportunity to learn together about our mutual pain and fears.

Being in the conflict, instead of trying to solve it, acknowledges us to recognize its effects on our lives.

Always assume that people have the potential to move forward so they will not be captured in the circles of pain and death.

People discover sparkling moments in their lives and open gates to new stories to recognize the unique spirit and its perspectives in our live.

Alternative stories enrich our lives and open gates to new stories in order to find and create the responsibility and the compassion to break the bloody circles of death and pain to enable us to give life.

View negative problems and beliefs as separate from people.

Talk about your own feelings, your own thoughts and tell your own story in order to create a mutual thought and shared language and to take initiative actions to implement a new reality according to our vision.

Listen with your third ear, put your feelings aside for a while.

Be curious, and ask questions which you genuinely don’t know the answers.

EXPLORING THE ROLE THAT WE HAVE IN EACH OTHER LIFE AS INDIVIDUALS, AS COMMUNITIES, AND AS PEOPLE

Think and tell of a situation where you felt that you were unable to talk about your fears and pain .

1 .What retained you from telling your story ?

2 .What effects did the silence have on you ? On your feelings, self worth, self esteem.

3 .Did it make you feel uncomfortable ? If so how?

4 .what make it difficult for you to speak freely about this pain?

5 .What would you think could let you share your pain?

6 .What do you think makes this sharing possible?

7 .What is our journey that would create a new reality in our lives and in the lives of others?

8 .Which synergy will give the possibility to us to realize that we are the messengers of the

inner peace ?