Corrected 191. Task 1. Line Unemployment

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  • 8/19/2019 Corrected 191. Task 1. Line Unemployment

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    the graph shows the unemployment rates in the us and japanbetween march 1993 and march 1999.

     The line graph illustrates the unemployment proportion rates of 

    US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999.

    !erall" the unemployment rates in both # countries changed

    signi$cantly. Tthere was a gradual decrease in the

    unemployment percentagepercentage of wor% force in the US

    o!er the period of & years. 'owe!er" that inthe $gure for Japan

    increased sharply from March 1993 to March 1999.

    (lthough the unemployment rate in the US declined o!er a &

    year)se!en)year period" it was higher than that in Japan from

    &* in March 1993 to +* in March 1999. ,t reached a high

    pointpea%ed at & * in March 1993 and reached the lowesta low

    point at below +* in March 199-.

     The unemployment proportion rate in Japan went up from #.+*

    to .+ * o!er a period of & years. ,t pea%ed at + * in March1993" which was twice as much as the its lowest point in March

    199-.

    Grad

    e

    Task 

     Achievem

    ent

    6 Not enough words. Good overview. Good

    description.

  • 8/19/2019 Corrected 191. Task 1. Line Unemployment

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    Cohesion

    and

    Coherenc

    e

    7 Lack connection sometimes.

     Vocabular  y 

    6 Clumsy expressions. Mistakes in word choices.

    Grammar  7 Good.

    Overall 6.5 ork on your voca! more. "ay attention to the word

    count.