Copyright 2003 - The American Legion Bully-Free Is The Way It Should Be

Copyright 2003 - The American Legion

Bully-Free Is The Way It Should Be

A Serious Problem

• Nationwide, 28% of students in grades 6-12 experienced bullying.*

• Bullying can be a gateway behavior – Statistics show that one in four children who bully

will have a criminal record before the age of 30.*

• Though not prevalent, kids who are bullied can be at risk of suicide.

* 2008-2009 School Crime Supplement (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics)



What Is Bullying?

• Bullying is aggressive behavior

that is persistent, intentional, and

involves an imbalance of power or strength.

• Can range from name-calling, to spreading rumors, to being ostracized from others, to outright physical assault.

• It is usually difficult for those being bullied to defend themselves.


Types of Bullying

• Verbal o Saying or writing mean thingso Teasing, name-calling, taunting, insults, etc.

• Social (aka “relational”, “indirect” or “emotional” bullying)o Hurting someone’s reputation or relationshipso Leaving someone out, public embarrassment, etc.

• Physicalo Hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, pushing, hand

gestures, taking or breaking someone’s things, etc.

Who Can Be A Victim?

ANYONE.

• A victim is usually singled out for their psychological traits more than their physical traits.

– Typical victim is shy, sensitive, or insecure.

• But one may still be singled out for outwardly looking different – culture, disability, stature, etc.


About The Bully

• Girls are more likely to bully and be bullied socially by using exclusion, rumors, embarrassment, etc.

• Boys are more likely to bully and be

bullied physically by using intimidation,

extortion, etc.

(Courtesy of the National Crime Prevention Council, “Bullying: What’s New and What to Do”)


Spot The Clues Of A Bully

Look for one who:

• gets into physical or verbal fights

• is increasingly aggressive• sent to detention or principal’s office frequently• has unexplained money or new belongings• is overly competitive• blames others for their problems


Warning Signs Of Being Bullied


Look for a child who:

• has unexplained injuries or torn clothing

• has frequently lost or destroyed items

• exhibits increasing signs of illness

• has difficulty sleeping / nightmares

• avoids social situations

• has declining grades / doesn’t want to go to school

• shows decreased self-esteem

Immediate Response To A Bullying Incident

• Intervene immediately.

• Stay calm.

• Separate the children involved.

• Address any immediate medical or mental health needs.

• Provide reassurance to the kids involved and bystanders.

• Immediately contact law enforcement or EMS if weapons, serious bodily injury, sexual abuse, illegal acts or threats of hate-motivated violence are involved.

• Report incident to parents, school, etc.


Avoid The Common Mistakes

• Don’t think of it as a “right of passage”• Don’t ignore the situation thinking “kids can work it out”• Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts• Don’t force other kids to publicly say what they witnessed• Don’t talk to the kids who were involved together – do so

separately• Don’t necessarily make the kids who were involved

apologize or patch up their relations on the spot


Prevent Bullying• Talk about bullying - what it is, how to respond.

o Tell kids it’s ok to speak up on behalf someone being bullied and it’s ok to tell adults.

• Model kind and respectful behaviors.

• Reinforce positive social interactions and inclusiveness.

• Build safe environments.o Establish a climate of acceptance, tolerance and respect.

• Develop community-wide strategies.o Education and training campaigns. o Supervision on playgrounds, parks, etc.o School curriculums.



Children Live What They Learn

• Aggressive behavior can be learned from the home.o Monitor exposure to violent TV, movies or video games.

• Don’t set a bad example by:o Spanking or otherwise physically or verbally abusing others.o Abusing a child’s sports coach, umpires and referees, or

members of the opposing team. o Swearing at other drivers on the road. o Humiliating a waitress or store clerk who makes a mistake. o Talking negatively about others so that a child thinks it’s

acceptable to belittle. (Courtesy of Helpguide.org, “Dealing with Bullying and Cyberbullying”)

Cyberbullying

• A modern and technological twist on bullying.

• It is harassment that takes place using electronic technology online or through electronic devices.o Emailo Social network siteso Websiteso Cell phones

• Intimidating text, embarrassing photos, malicious posts.



What Makes Cyberbullying Different

• It’s invasiveo can happen 24/7o can be anonymous and difficult to traceo difficult to delete once posted or sento nearly instanteous o can have a wide distribution

• Six percent of students in grades 6-12 experienced cyberbullying.*

* 2008-2009 School Crime Supplement (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice

Statistics)


How to Respond to Cyberbullying

• Don’t respond to or forward cyberbully messages.

• Keep evidence of cyberbullying for reporting.o Record dates, times and descriptions.o Save and print messages and screens when possible

• Block the person who is cyberbullying, if possible.

• Report cyberbullying to:o Online service providers and social media sites.o Law enforcement.o Schools.


Prevent Cyberbullying

• Talk with kids – keep lines of communication open.o Encourage them to confide if they, or someone they

know, is a victim.

• Be aware of kids online activities.

• Have your kids passwords for use if detecting signs of being a victim.

• Establish rules about technology use.o Limit sharing personal information and pictures.o Do not share passwords with friends or strangers.


The Latest Trend - Sexting

• New term – didn’t even exist until circa 2007.

• Sexting is when youth distribute sexually explicit messages or photos of themselves or others to their peers.

• Via cell phones, computers, web cams, digital cameras, etc.

• Twenty percent of teenagers have sent naked or seminude images of themselves or posted them online. *

• One in six teens between ages 12-17 who own cell phones have received naked or nearly nude pictures via text message from someone they know.*

(FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin, July 2010)


Cyber Language You Should Know

• Can you read this?

“19/m/ca watz ur n/a/s/l? Snd m ur p# we can pRt! g2g4n”


What It Said…….

• The message was from a 19 year-old male located in California: 19/m/ca

• He was asking for the recipients name, age, sex and location: watz ur n/a/s/l?

• His message was “send me your phone number, we can party!” : Snd m ur p# we can pRt!

• His closing was “got to go for now”: g2g4n

(Courtesy of the Office of the Attorney General, State of Idaho, February 2010)


There Are Lots Of AcronymsP911

TDTM

WYCM

PIR

WYRN

LMIRL

KPC

RUO18

DOC

GYPO(Courtesy of the Office of the Attorney General, State of Idaho, February 2010)


Know The AcronymsP911 – Parent Alert

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

WYCM – Will You Call Me

PIR – Parent In Room

WYRN – What’s Your Real Name

LMIRL – Let’s Meet In Real Life

KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless

RUO18 – Are You Over 18

DOC – Drug Of Choice

GYPO – Get Your Pants Off(Courtesy of the Office of the Attorney General, State of Idaho, February 2010)


Emoticons

• A sequence of symbols, letters, and numbers used in instant messaging, blogs, texting, chats and emails to emulate facial

expressions. #-)

%-\

:-#

:-X

%-|

}{



Emoticons

#-) Partied All Night

%\ Hangover

:-# My Lips Are Sealed

:-X Big Wet Kiss

%-| Been Up All Night

}{ Meet Face To Face



Signs A Child Is At Risk Online

• Large amounts of time online, especially at night.

• Finding pornography on your child’s computer.

• Receiving or making phone calls to numbers you don’t recognize.

• Receiving mail, gifts or packages from someone you don’t know.

• Quickly turning off the computer or minimizing the screen when parents come in the room.

• Withdrawing from the family.

(Courtesy of U.S. Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigation, “A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety”)


Prevention• Much the same as for cyberbullying.o Be aware of kids online activitieso Have your kids passwords for use if detecting signso Establish rules about technology use

Limit sharing personal information and pictures Do not share passwords with friends or strangers

• Promote understandingo Talk about impact – it’s widespread, irretrievable and long-lasting

• Promote a “think before you send” mentality

• Keep computer in open area

• Monitor computer activity – consider parental software(Courtesy of U.S. Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigation, “A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety” and

FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin, July 2010)


Let’s Quiz!

1.Where is the best place to allow Internet use in the home?

a. Child’s bedroom

b. Family living room

c. Anyplace it is quite and remote so as not to disturb others

(Courtesy of National Center for Missing and Exploited Children)

Answer #1…….

B



Let’s Quiz!

2. Which is the best to protect your children when online?

a. Post clear, simple, easy-to-read rules where Internet use is permitted in the home.

b. Closely supervise and monitor online activity.

c. Allow your children access to the Internet only when they have one of their own friends nearby.

d. A and B


Answer #2…….

D



Let’s Quiz!

3. Which social-networking website(s) are completely safe for children?

a. Sites who say they are “child friendly.”

b. Sites with security settings.

c. No social-networking websites are completely safe for children.


Answer #3…….

C



Let’s Quiz!

4. What should you do if a child tells you someone they “met” online wants to meet them in person?

a. Take away their Internet-use privileges.

b. Tell them it’s OK as long as you know when and where they are going.

c. Praise them for telling you and discuss reasons why it is unsafe to do so.


Answer #4…….

C



Let’s Quiz!

5. Which is an example of an appropriate screen-name for a child?

a. Katie_ny13

b. Pkdg_329

c. CuteLitlAngel


Answer #5…….

B



Let’s Quiz!

6. When should your child post photos of themselves on their own personal website or social-networking website?

a. When they make a promise to only give the website address to people they know.

b. When you have seen and approved the content of the photos.

c. When they make a promise not to post any potentially embarrassing or inappropriate photos.


Answer #6…….

B



Let’s Quiz!

7. Which type of personal information is OK for your child to post to their social-networking account?

a. Favorite movie.

b. Dates and details about an upcoming family vacation.

c. Daily after-school routine.


Answer #6…….

A


Bullying, in any form, is unacceptable.

Bullying can have a lifelong affect.

Everyone has the right to feel safe.

Bullying hurts.


“Bully-Free Is The Way It Should Be”

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Copyright 2003 - The American Legion Bully-Free Is The Way It Should Be