CONSORTISSUE 1 | MAY 2012 | FREE MAGAZINE

NEWFREE MAG

A NEW STARTTRAVEL\\CARS\\STYLE\\HEALTH\\BUSINESS\\REVIEWS\\

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CONSORT

Contents\\News and eventsGadgetsCarsStyleAccessoriesHealth&SexTravelReviewsBooksArts50 things to do after 50

//From the editor

Consort Magazine\\Editor: Chief sub: News editor:Section editors:

Art director:Picture editor:

Contributors:

Ellen CoyneChloe ScalesEfa ThomasBetti HunterLouisa MarsdenSaul Pimmonds

Erik SkavoldEllie Potter

Niamh Drohan

E-mail:Twitter:Facebook:

consort@skavold.net@ConsortMagazinefacebook.com/ConsortMagazine

Special thanks to:Magne Lystad and Mari Elisabeth Lystad for assistance during the BMW photo shoot.Peter Marsden for modelling for the style pages.

Welcome to Consort,

There are plenty of things in life which need not be changed.

There’s no need to try to re-design a classic suit, or season a whiskey. It’s wasteful and over-ambitious to try to, or masquerade yourself as ‘new’

while filling the same mold as others before you.

But sometimes a change has been needed for so long; the need for it goes un-noticed.

Consort isn’t a big change – not for you, anyway.

It’s the cars that you’ve adored from afar, and the cars that you’re already driving. It’s your best suit and your new favourite shirt. It’s the new songs

and the old books. It’s the memory of your best holiday, and the new adventure you’re about to take. It’s the business you’ve always taken care

of, and the new matters that simply must be seen to.

It’s how you finish your Sunday evening, and the first thing you do on Monday morning. It’s the questions you ask and the answers you need. It’s

the elusive mix of business and pleasure.

It’s the people you’ve always been interested in: the wildly charming artist who created a billion pound masterpiece – that’s worth nothing; the ro-

mantic endeavor that blossomed into a booming business; the 63-year-old man who re-discovered his youth in the most unlikely place on the planet.

Consort is the conversation you’ve always been having. The only change is that now, you’ve finally got it in a magazine.

I’m sure it won’t take you very long to get acquainted with Consort.

Though it’s a long-awaited fresh start in publishing for the modern man, it’s nothing short of the printed equivalent of your best friend.

No need for introductions, I think you’ll find we already know each other.

Enjoy,Ellen

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17BIG BUSINESSHow one couple are profiting from passion

MAD MEN IN REAL LIFE20

23“I ALWAYS THOUGHT ‘HAPPY’ WAS JUST A WORD IN THE DICTIONARY”

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NEWS

Bealtaine FestivalCelebrating creativity as we age

Bealtaine is the national arts festival celebrat-ing creativity in older age. Join over 120,000

people all over Ireland, taking part in events involving music, art, dance, cinema, writing, theatre, heritage and more.

This May thousands of older people will take part in the festival, with 2012 being its 17th year. It is a chance for people to make new and chal-lenging work, a chance to communicate tradi-tions between the generations. It is a chance for the novice to discover a talent until then unseen and a chance for a long-dormant skill to find a new outlet. For more information visit www.bealtaine.com

Countdown to the Olympic and Paralympic gamesOnly a couple of months to go before the Lon-don 2012 games kcik off and final preparations are under way in the capital city.The UK had not hosted the games since 1948, the opening ceremony of the 30th games will take place on July 27th

Leonardo DaVinciAnatomist

The largest ever exhibition of Leonardo DaVinci’s studies

of the human body will go on display at The Queen’s Gallery in London.

On the artist’s death in 1519, these anatomical drawings were left as a mass of undigested ma-terial among his private papers, their significance effectively lost to the world for almost 400 years. 10am-5.30pm daily, 4.30pm last admission

£8.50, concs £7.50, under-17s £4.25, under-fives free, family (2 adults, 3 under-17s) £21.50

May 4th - October 7th 2012 3D images of tissue may help spot and treat cancer

Three-dimensional images of tissue samples could help spot cancer early, say researchers.

Cancer Research UK said the technology could help research-ers understand how cancer grew and spread, and learn how to treat it more effectively.

Google has launched a new consumer service offering 5GB of online storage for free

Isle of Bute Jazz Festival4-6th May

A beautiful Scottish island welcomes you to enjoy one of Eu-rope’s most popular Jazz Weekends!

Weekend tickets £45.00

White killer whale adult spotted for first time in wild

Scientists have made what they believe to be the first sighting of an adult white orca, or killer whale.

The adult male, which they have nicknamed Iceberg, was spotted off the coast of Kam-chatka in eastern Russia.

The London mayoral elec-tions will be held on the May 3rd. The vicious rivalry between Boris and Ken will finally be concluded.

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EVENTS

E V E N T S I N M AY From the Great Manchester Run and the Olympic Entertainment Evening to the Chelsea Flower Show - what will you be spending your time doing in the sun?

Olympic Stadi-

um Entertain-

ment Evening

Chelsea

Flower Show

- until 26th

May

Great Man-

chester Run:

10km

Grand Designs

Live - London

until 15th May

Phillip Lynott

Exhibition -

London, until

21st June

Royal Philharmonic

Orchestra, Cardiff

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VOX POPS

Mayor election = major election?With the London mayor election coming up soon, we asked people on the streets of Cardiff if they cared about who wins.

Mark Picton, NewportControl operations manager

“I don’t they achieve anything. You tell me what relevant things they’ve actually offered?”

Brian Redmore, ElyBarman

“I don’t think it’ll ever hold any relevance. I don’t even think it matters to Londoners. The whole thing is a waste of time!”

David and Jenny Norman, ExeterRetired

“What happens in London doesn’t really affect us - we’re from Exeter, and the mayor election won’t have an impact on us”

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VOX POPS

Trevor Parish, NewcastleNational source manager

“I think it is important to the people living in London - but not really to the rest of us”

Stephen Lewis, Treorchy Retired

“A lot of the money flows through London, and that influ-ences the rest of the country.”

Dylan Jones, Mid WalesCivil cervant

“I don’t care at all - not the slightest interested”

Richard Bathrow, HerefordRetired

“Yes, I think that the decisions that are made in London will eventually affect us”

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GADGETS

Meistersinger PerigraphThis beautiful single-handed German timepiece features a rotating date dial and a style that’ll never go out of fashion.

TAG Heuer Monaco Cal. 12Immortalised by Steve McQueen, the Monaco is still a desirable object. It is now a full range of watches, but this is the pick of the bunch.

OmegaSpeedmaster MoonwatchA limited edi-tion of the classic Speedmaster to commemorate the Apollo 15 moon-landing - in red, white and blue.

WATCHES\\

TECH & GADGETS\\

Apple iPad 3 - the display king

Technology doesn’t have to mean digital displays and funny sounds. Sometimes just the movement of a couple of arms - or maybe just one - is more than enough.

With the highest resolution ever seen on a mobile device, the new iPad is sure to break new sales records. The first batch is already said to have been sold out, and some iPads showed up on eBay, fetching three times the price Apple charges for it.

The iPad 3 also features a new 5 megapixel camera, 4G network uplink, a new A5X processor and the updated iOS 5.1 operat-ing system.

The device is on sale now, and prices start from £399 and all goes up to £559.

The wait is over: the D800 is here!It’s been a long wait, but the

full format D800 is now here. With a 36 megapixel sensor, double memory card slots and full HD filming capabilities, this should be an entising product for the professional amateur. Prices start around £2000.

Nikon has also announced a new 85mm f/1.8 lens, that should produce some wonderful portrait results. Price? £469.

By: Erik Skavold

Windows 8 is getting closer to production

The final production version of Windows 8 is still a while away, but Consort can promise you a very different user experi-ence compared to Win 7. The ‘Metro’ shell on top of the oper-ating system is based around the same framework as the system on Windows Phone 7, utilising swipes and gestures to navigate.

The traditional window based system known from previous Windows versions (hence the name) can still be found, but has to activated from a menu, rather than the other way around.

The Windows 8 Consumer Preview was released in March, and even on relatively modest hardware, the animations and features flow with sharp preci-sion, showing that it’ll work just as well on tablets as on regular home laptops and desktops.

The ‘Metro’ start screen

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Geneva Auto Show 2012

Bentley spreading its wings

Over the last years, a heavy focus on economy, environment and efficiency has been the main theme of car shows. It’s about time the car makers returned to what’s really impor-tant: Luxury, speed, design and style. Cue Geneva 2012.

After seeing Porsche do it to great success, other luxury brands wants in on the fun. This is Bentley’s way of doing it.

IT DIDN’T come as a big shock to those who follow the motoring news, but it still gained a lot of attention. The Bentley EXP 9 F concept previews what will be the ultimate luxury SUV when it comes on sale in 2015.

The ‘F’ in the name is meant to represent ‘falcon’, playing on the fact that falcons are the fastest moving animals on earth. This SUV won’t be the fastest car in the world, but Bentley as-

sures us that the combination of agility, refinement and power will make this the most prestigious SUV on sale.

Under the massive bonnet, we can expect to find the familiar twin-turbo 6-litre W12, sporting nearly 600 horsepower, but this could also be the car to debut a Bentley diesel engine, sourced from Audi.

Inside, there will be room for four people in the luxury of solid wood panels, leather, aluminium and glass - and of course the most modern of technologies.

The interior mixes classical beauty, modern tech and natural materials

Words: Erik Skavold

Evoque goes toplessIN OTHER SUV news,

Range Rover has cut the roof off of their Evoque. The Evoque Convertible Concept previews their first convertible, apart from the old Defender soft tops, and even though it might take three years before it’s in the showrooms, it is definitely destined for production.

CARS\\CARS

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A-Class finallygoing class A

... and the A3 goes A4KEEPING THE sizes from

the previous generation, the new A3 gets a weight reduction and borrows styling features from the A4 and rest of the Audi range. The 3-door is planned to go on sale right about now, and the 5-door is expected in a year.

The A3 will feature Audi Connect, con-necting your car to the internet.

Following the major restyling of the B-Class, it was only to be expected that the A-Class followed in its footsteps.

THE NEW B-class had the biggest model makeover in Mer-cedes’ history, but that might’ve changed now that they’ve made the new A-class. Gone is the quirky sandwich floor and high-rised stance. In stead, we’ve got a more traditional hatchback, with styling cues from several concept models from the past years - most of all from the Concept A-Class, shown late last year.

The interior draws elements from the SLS supercar and mixes it with new colours and designs to suit an audience that wants to personalise their new car, a trend BMW started with the new Mini over a decade ago.

The A-class is still a front-wheel-drive car, but because it is built on an entirely new plat-form, four-wheel-drive versions are likely to come later - one of

them being a hot A25 AMG ver-sion, and another being an SUV offspring possibly named BLK.

Until then, though, we’ll have to do with the A250 as the most powerful version, sporting a 209 bhp 2-litre petrol engine. Apart from the smallest diesel - the 99 g/km, 108 bhp A180 CDI - no figures on consump-tion and emissions have been released. Between these two engines, there will be a 114 and 154 bhp 1.6 petrol (A180 and A200 respectively), a 134 bhp A200 CDI diesel and a 168 bhp A220 CDI diesel. All engines feature a start/stop system, and a 7-speed automatic is available as an option. Economy is further improved by good aerodynamics - a drag coefficient of just 0.26 is class leading.

On the inside, a large central multimedia screen will be stand-

ard, but the size will vary with the different trim levels. Options include different aids, such as Lane Keeping Assist, Active Parking Assist and the pre-crash system Distronic Plus - until now only featured on larger cars.

Standard equipment includes Attention Assist to keep you awake, and a hill-start assistant to keep you from rolling back when taking off in a slope.

The new A-Class is set to make its appearance in the UK showrooms in November.

A spacious and modern interior should convince some buyers to choose the three-point star over the four rings

The A250 AMG Sport - differentiated from other models by the red lip and the ‘pixel’ grille.

CARS

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Heaven, meet carOcean and heaven are rarely so boldly confronted by man as up here by the North Sea – and the only thing separating them is two feet of concrete. Oh, and a BMW.

Words and photography: Erik Skavold

CARS

IT’S SUNSHINE, blizzard and gale-force winds at the same time, and I’m at one of the most scenic roads in the world. The Atlantic Ocean Road snakes itself from island to island, and I can’t help but wonder how such twisty and narrow roads can make complete sense of the expression ‘open roads’.

Maybe it’s because you feel alone out here, because there’s nothing between the ocean and the heaven but you and a couple feet with concrete and asphalt. Or maybe it’s because it’s impossible to hide from the natural forces – no trees grow here, the wind and weather is too strong for any-

thing taller than waist-high bushes. Whatever the reason might be, this is where one can feel com-pletely remote and at the same time right at home. Especially in the right car.

And few cars could be better than this; the BMW X3 flies over these roads, smoothing out the few potholes there is, while still being able to deliver a thrilling drive. The Norway-spec 161bhp diesel (UK cars have 184bhp) delivers enough torque to swiftly overtake any caravanner, and although it could’ve used a bit more top end poke it never feels underpowered. The 8-speed automatic ‘box does its job well, and is the best

BMW X3 xDrive20d | Price: £31,480 (as tested: £40,130) | Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo diesel Drivetrain: 8-speed auto / four-wheel drive | Performance: 161bhp / 280lb ft / 8.5 sec | Economy: 50.4 mpg / 149g/km

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SCAN CODE TO SEE THE

VIDEO:

CARS

standard auto-box I’ve ever driven. Unlike Audi, BMW doesn’t believe in double-clutch automatics for their regular road cars, but in the X3 it’s never missed. The ‘box can also be operated manually via the gear-lever, but for most of the time it’s best just to leave it in Sport mode, and keep your eyes on the winding roads ahead.

It’s still too early for the heaviest traffic on these roads. Too early in the day, and too early in the season. Come June, tens of thousands of tourists come here to stand on the bridges to fish, get a glimpse of the dolphins swimming around these waters or just to experience the fantastic scenery. Parked up on the side of the road, I walk up on a hillside to get an overview of the area. It’s not hard to see why this stretch of road was voted the construction of the century in Norway a few years back.

As I take a glimpse back to the X3, is just as easy to understand why this has been an immediate hit for BMW. Unlike the old X3, this one rides with a fluency and composure previously unknown to small SUVs. Neither the Mercedes GLK nor the

The Atlantic Ocean Road stretches between Molde and Kristiansund on the Norwegian north west coast. It is a spectacular view in any car, but in these conditions, few is more suited than the X3

Audi Q5 can deliver anything close to this. You can sense the centre of gravity being set higher than in a 3-series, but it’s not rolling or juddering around as most other SUVs have a tendency to do. And the test car was not set up with the optional Variable Damper Control or the Servotronic steer-ing. The standard drivetrain is more than capable enough for any road, and you’d be better off spending that extra money on the gadgets BMW has to offer, such as the big stereo/sat-nav system, xenon headlamps and leather sports seats – all of which are a must-have, really.

Spending a week with the X3 was a real treat. A trip up some snowy mountain roads proved the four-wheel drive system to be helpful, and it’ll even let you completely disengage the stability control for those proper twisty road hoons.

So, there it is then – the X3 is a perfectly com-petent and well-driving piece of kit, mixing the feeling of both a 3-series estate and a X5 into a brilliant family car. And after taking it out here, it proves it could take you to the end of the world.

Thanks to M

ari Elisabeth Lystad and M

agne Lystad for assistance during the photo shoot of the X

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Big BusinessHow one couple are profiting from passion

The impact of the recent economic crisis has hit small businesses drastically, with eight out of ten start-up companies in the UK currently resulting

in failure. But a Cardiff couple are facing adversity head-on and proving that it’ll take more than a bit of numerical doom-mongering to suck the life out of Britain’s inde-pendent traders.

Simon and Julie Cooper combined their love of vintage clothing and memorabilia with entrepreneurial skill and have built a successful second-hand clothing company from scratch using only their pension funds and business

know-how. The couple have indulged their fascination for bygone eras since childhood. Simon believes his obses-sion stemmed from a love of fifties rockabilly and doo-wop music. “I was about 11 or 12 by which time I’d been influenced by my father, then having got into the music it progressed to the clothing and it just went from there.” Theirs was not an interest shared by their peers. They were considered ‘weirdoes that dressed a bit funny’ amongst their group of friends and didn’t hold out much hope of ever finding like-minded people, until they got wind of a rockabilly festival that was taking place in England. This

Words: Betti Hunter Photography: Erik Skavold

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BUSINESS

snippet of information led to the couple discovering that similar events took place regularly across the UK. Julie explained “We started to realise bit by bit that there was a big scene out there, there are so many people really into the same sort of music, the clothes, the old films, the types of dance. So we started to follow it round until the children came along, which happened fairly soon, so then we had to wait a while until the kids were a bit older. Once they got to the age where they were able to be left alone we picked it up again and went back to the festivals.” This weekend pastime soon presented the duo with an opportunity that was too good to miss.

“It all started by accident, really.” The couple look at each other and shrug their shoulders, struggling to pinpoint the exact moment that Big Girls Blouse ceased to be a pipe dream and started to become a reality. After much debating, the couple agree it started with a simple hair flower that Julie wore to a festival in Devon. “I made myself a couple and somebody asked me where I got it from. I said that I’d made it and she said ‘you ought to make more of those to sell.’ So I practised a little bit and then made a small boxful and people wanted to buy them.” Word soon spread and Julie’s customer base started to grow. Realising that there was a niche in the market for her handmade accessories, Julie managed to gain her own stall at various prestigious vintage fairs. “It was only a small one at first where I just did hair flowers, then it grew to include earrings, sets of jewellery, some shoes and headscarves. At that point we were just taking the stall away to events through the year as Simon was in another job.” Following Simon’s retirement in 2009, the couple soon found they had more stock than they knew what to do with. After much deliberation, they decided they only had two options - either move house, or find somewhere permanent to set up shop. It didn’t take long to make a decision. The couple took a chance on a mi-niscule shop in Wellfield Court, Cardiff. “Simon paid the first years rent, and basically said to me that after the first year ‘you’re on your own, mate’. After the first year we were still going strong, so I finished work and we’re into our third year now.”

They soon found that the size of the original shop was preventing the business from expanding. Julie had started to import stock in bulk from a vintage dealer in America and soon found that the Wellfield Court premises was in no way large enough to accommodate the vast quantities of clothing being delivered every month. In addition, the arcades secluded location was not enough to attract the footfall needed to sustain business. Word of mouth was no longer enough. It was time for Big Girls Blouse to upgrade. In October 2011 the business relocated to a building twice the size of the previous premises on busy Crwys Road, with an eye-catching bright pink facade that sets the shop apart from the lacklustre properties either side. The new location is a stone’s throw away from the student hotbed of Cathays and flanked by two busy shopping streets, a strategic move that has boosted trade and ensured that business will start to thrive.

Even the telephone in the shop fits the style

‘‘Recession? What recession?

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Simon considers the success of Big Girls Blouse can be attributed to a number of factors. He concedes that his and Julie’s insistence on only selling the best quality vintage at affordable prices may go some way towards explaining why their business is thriving in the current economic climate, but believes that looking at recent cultural trends provides a better indication as to why vintage selling is currently experiencing a boom. “It might have something to do with certain television series that have been on recently. Over the years there have been a number of British and American series that have gone back to that time - everything from Mad Man to recent British series Midwives. It’s also always got lots to do with women’s fashion, far more than men’s. In fact, if you look at the last ten years there’s very little that men’s fashion has taken from the 1940’s or 50’s scene.” Though the shop carries a selection of retro, denim and authen-tic mid-century men’s clothing it’s predominately geared towards a female clientele who are drawn to the afford-able glamour, femininity and promises of one-of-a-kind pieces.

The past three years have given the couple an appe-tite for success. This summer will see them taking their denim and petticoats to Porthcawl’s Elvis Convention, which will be the first clothing stall the festival has ever hosted. Simon also hinted that the prison rehabilitation programme StoneHouse Blues (double-check name – it was distorted on the Dictaphone), which encourages prisoners to sew jeans in return for a small wage, is look-ing to start up in Cardiff Prison and Big Girls Blouse will be first in line to stock the product. With demand for high quality vintage showing no sign of waning, it looks like Simon and Julie are going to have their hands full for quite some time yet.

Recession? What recession?

Organized chaos of the treasure trove of one-off clothes - and Simon’s display of his love for his wife, of course in a 1950s pin-up style. What else?

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MAD MENIN REAL LIFENow that ‘Mad Men’ isback on TV, we’ve sourcedsome quotes from peopleworking in the real advertisingindustry.

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CONSORT

“We don’t all sit around drinking whisky. Unfortunately.”

“You don’t realize how much

advertising influences you.

“I don’t buy this whole‘advertisers are evil’

thing, I don’t see how we’re any worse than politicians or normal businessmen or

journalists”

“I like to see my-self as a bit of a Don Draper. Even if nobody else does.”

“We’re just doing a job, it’s not the glamour that you see in Mad Men.

But it’s creative. It can be fun.”

You’re prob-ably looking at an ad right now.”

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“I always thought ‘happy’ was just a

word in the dictionary”

Jim Lochead was convinced he had lived his life. That is, until a chance trip to ‘Nowhere Festival’ helped him discover the young man inside him, who was dying to get out.

FEATURE

Words: Efa Thomas Photography: Markus Nitschke

23

The economic re-cession hit Amer-ica in 2009, new

construction was down by 90 per cent, and Jim, a 62 year old carpenter was about to have his house repossesed.

Old enough to get his pen-sion, Jim decided to leave Amer-ica, and with the little money he had, moved to Bologna in Italy. He lived modestly, and alone for two years, in a land whose language he spoke very little of. He thought his life was coming to a close, little did he know a new door was just opening, and a new life he’d never dreamt of was about to begin.

“I ended up at Nowhere festi-val puerly out of good fortune.

One of the board members Alan and I had a common friend on Facebook, which neither of us knew. Miraculously he checked out my information, and my information says that I’m a master carpenter, and it says I’m both a leader and a follower… It says I’m willing to design the structure, or install the toilets.”

Later, when Alan told the story he said he’d read it as ‘will build the toilets’, because he had a nineteen page plan for building break-down toilet structures for Nowhere. “He asked me if I’d like to help, I’ve always liked to help people, so that’s what I did.”

Nowhere Festival is organised by the ‘Burner’ community which has grown out of Burning Man Festival, a yearly event held in the Nevada desert, where tens

of thousands of people come together and build ‘Black Rock City’. Participants are dedicated to community, art, self-expres-sion, and self-reliance. The city and the people disapear a week later, leaving no trace of having ever been there.

Nowhere is much smaller than Burning Man, and is held in the Spanish desert in the northen state of Aragon. Around 650 people participate in the event, which embraces the Burning Man principles. Everyone is expected to help in some way, everything from construction and set up, like Jim did; to art projects, entertainment, cater-ing, councelling or clean up are handled by those attending the event.

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FEATURE

17

“The festival was so amazing, it de-finetly changed my life! It knocked out a lot of my anger, and even the

people closest to me say, ‘you’ve changed so much!’”

‘Burner’ events are certainly unique, where most festivals have become commercial busi-nesses, Nowhere prides itself in being non-commerce. You can’t buy anything there. You can’t even trade. When in the desert you have to take everything you’ll need to survive with you, you have to learn to be radically self-reliant. However the non-commerce aspect also encourages unconditional gifiting. Participants give what they can; be it a hug or a song, a drink or practical help. Workshops are held throughout events, where people’s skills are shared with one another.

The non-commerce aspect means there is no rich, and no poor at these events, every-one is equal. Nowhere is a place where the old become younger, and the young, wiser. Jim says, “I started out as an old man in No-where last summer. I got to be there for the whole festival, doing the build and the take down, I left the desert 20 days later much, much younger, with a new lust for life.”

Jim felt at home at Nowhere, he was able to share the carpentry skills he’d learnt over 40 years in the trade, “What’s the point of having all these skills, if I can’t share them with somebody? I mean I’m just gunna die anyway!” he says. The youngsters at Nowhere loved Jim’s professionalism, as well as his ability to build just about anything. Jim just loved making new friends.

“I always thought ‘happy’ was just a word in the dictionary. I thought it was just a concept, but since Nowhere I really under-stand that word. I’ve really been happy, to be happy, which is kind of amazing! Part of it is just having so many great friends all around the world right now, it’s special!”

“This was the first time I’d been to a festi-val like this, and it came at the right time in my life. Having raised three kids, having been married twice and having been in another relationship, I was finally free to do pretty much what I wanted to do and put the time I wanted to put into it.”

Luckily so, as becoming a part of the ‘Burner’ community has taken over Jim’s life. The simple, but strong ethos of Burning Man has seen the community expanding into a year-round culture, with events following its ethos held all around the globe in New Zealand, South Africa and Italy to name but a few.

“The festival was so amazing,it definitely changed my life! It knocked out a lot of my anger”

FEATURE

In the 8 months since Nowhere finished Jim has travelled all over Italy to Si-caly, Rome, Florence, Venice and Milan, and further to Paris, Cardiff, London, New York, Los Angeles to name but a few. Jim is part of a big, international circle of friends now, and is always moved when people let him into their normal lives, so he can participate in whatever their doing.

He says, “It’s just like what you did in high school – it’s not that what you’re doing is particularly special… It’s just being with people, living life with people. It’s something so simple which is missing in the world, particularly in America, where people only get together on a holiday. It’s always very superficial, and its over a big meal, and everyone talks dribble.”

“Working with people, and spending time with people, that’s just the most special thing.”

Jim’s life is that of a young man, living like there’s no tomorrow, feeling as many sensations as humanly pos-sible, and not letting anyone or anything from his past stop him. Jim has tickets to this year’s Burning Man in Ne-vada, but thinks he might be in conflict with it, because of his feelings towards America, which he believes has become superficial.

But, he also has tickets to Nowhere, the place where he is known as ‘maestro’. He explains, “There is almost no way that you could keep me from going back there… For the amount of fun I had, for the amount of people I met, for the amount of good aspects it places upon my personality, I can’t imagine why I wouldn’t go back!”

“I made a seesaw last year. This year I think I’ll make a slide for the kids area, but you know, really it’s just for every-body!”

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FEATURE

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STYLE

A F T E R D A R K

WORDS and PHOTOGRAPHYLOUISA MARSDEN

SHIRT: THOMAS PINK - £89 JUMPER: FRENCH CONNECTION - £60JEANS: LEVI - £85SCARF: MARKS AND SPENCER - £15

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STYLE

The style rut will happen to everyone. You’re probably in one right now. Searching through your humble wardrobe in the hope of coming across something other than a Marks and Spen-cer shirt and a tie with daffy ducks on that your wife bought you in 1993. So how are you meant to get out of this mess? How could you possibly consider adding any piece of colour or texture

or anything outside of Marks and Spencer to your collection? Well most men will get it very wrong. They turn to their mother’s. Do not ask your mother. If this happens, you’ll end up adding a whole range of pink shirts and velcro sandals. No.

You want to walk into that bar after a day in the office and be noticed. You can still do it. You need to reinvent your personal style, not by copying the manequins in the shop window, but by trying everything on that you buy until you feel like you used to. Until you feel like you did in 1970.

SHIRT:THOMAS PINK - £89 TIE: JOHN LEWIS - £35 TROUSERS: KENNETH COLE - £120

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STYLE

Here we have two styles for you to focus on.

1. WEEKEND LUNCH: So. You have the weekend off. It’s a sunny day with a bit of a chill in the air. You don’t want to be sport-ing the leather jacket that’s lurking in the coat wardorbe. Think layers. You want a smart look that you can eaily cut down to feel a bit cooler. This is where the dreaded ‘I look over seventy’ shirt and jumper combo comes in. It doesn’t have to. Paired with a pair of straight leg levi’s, in a darker wash, and a navy jumper to add a bit of warmth to the outfit, you don’t

have to feel older than your years. Adding a scarf (see previous page) will lift the outfit completely, and is a stylish alternative to a tie.

2. AFTER DARK: This is the oufit for that night out after the office. This red polka dot tie (see above) adds a pop of colour to the outfit, without looking comical. The undone tie will instantly make you feel more relaxed, and adds a brace -like effect to the outfit, still looking smart and sophisticated. The grey trouseres keep the look a modern one, with good tailoring, anything is possible for your new found style. Don’t be afraid.

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ACCESSORIES

L AV I S H LOW1. 1.

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1. Mulberry Leather Satchel: £795 1. John Lewis Leather Satchel: £130 2. Bulova Leather Watch: 695 2. Fossil Leather Watch: £115 3. Diesel Leather Belt: £70 3. John Lewis Leather Belt: £25 4. Duchamp Bow Tie: £65 4. John Lewis Bow Tie: £16

CONSORT have compared the lavish with the low cost - saving you money, while keeping you stylish.

Words: Louisa MarsdenPhotography: JohnLewis.com

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32

HEALTH

FACTS* 37,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year* 250,000 men are currently living with the disease* Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men* African Caribbean men are three times more likely to develop prostate cancer

Not many topics are considered taboo in the twenty first century. The infor-mation age is full of raunchy adver-

tisement, sexual innuendos and people getting naked on TV; but for some reason the subject of prostate cancer is rarely brought up in day to day life.

Words: Ellie Potter

Consort is here to inform you on the facts, and encourage you to go to your GP and get checked up. Better safe than sorry eh!

Around half of all men in their fifties have developing cancer cells in their prostate, and 80 per cent of men in their eighties do. As it is such a slow growing cancer it is very unlikely the cells will develop into a serious cancer.

It is because prostate cancer is slow growing, that it’s important for men to go to the doctor regularly and get checked, because there aren’t any obvious symptoms and it is very hard to detect.

. There are a variety of symptoms that coincide with prostate cancer that you can keep an eye out for. Having difficulty to pass urine, and pass-ing urine more than usual especially at night are both symptoms linked to prostate cancer. Rarer symptoms which may occur are: pain whilst pass-ing urine; or blood in the urine or semen. These symptoms can build up over a number of years but aren’t always present.

In some cases symptoms are only obvious after the cancer has spread to the bones. When the can-cer has developed into secondary prostate cancer,

it will have reached the bones and a considerable amount of pain might be felt around the pelvic, hip and back bones, resulting in an uncomfortable sleep.

Although a large number of men carry prostate cancer cells, awareness of the disease is very low. Breast Cancer has had much more promotion done about it, and awareness is higher because of this. Prostate cancer hasn’t had such a fuss made about it, and maybe this is something campaigners should think about. Breast cancer awareness has seen pink tee-shirts and other prod-ucts in Peacocks, women run-ning the ‘Race for Life’ and pink fundraising happening all across the country. This has raised vital money which has helped fund research by world class scientists.

The fact that prostate cancer isn’t heavily campaigned about means that even though people are aware of the cancer they are not aware of how common it is. Around 34,000 men are diagnosed with Prostate Cancer

each year and around a further 10,000 men die every year from the disease.

The Prostate Cancer Charity is encouraging people to ‘take up the 10,000 challenge’ this year to help raise money to improve the lives of those affected by the disease. They’re encouraging participants to make the chal-lenge whatever they want, do a 10km run; a 10,000ft sky dive or take a bath in a tub of 10,000 baked beans. This year will also be the first year that the Pros-tate Cancer Charity and Breast Cancer Care will come together to form Team PB and will be the official charity of the Virgin London Marathon.

It seems promotion about the disease is increasing, but it also relies on us as men to be more open and talk about it. There is no need for the embarrassment which surrounds this illness, cancer is a destructive, horrible thing and we should offer our support to each other as men, take part in these campaigns and have fun whilst doing it!

Prostate... there, we said it

33

SEX

The Full MontyDear Uncle Monty,I have a fantastic relationship with my wife. After 36 years of marriage, we’ve never gotten on better. She still makes me laugh, I still think she’s the most beau-tiful women in the room and I adore nothing more than having her on my arm at parties. Every day with her is an adven-ture. I only wish that we were that adventerous in the bed-room.I feel sometimes like sex is a chore for her, and it makes me feel guilty when I think she might not be enjoying herself. I also worry a lot that us losing the spark in the bedroom might be a sign of us losing a spark in our marriage. How can I break this habit which we’ve gotten into?Worried,Glasgow.

Dear Worried,First of all, your wife is very lucky to have a husband like you. The fact that you’re worried about whether or not she’s enjoying her-self is a sign that you truly care for her, and it’s very thoughtful of you.As you can imagine, this is an ex-tremely common problem for men of our age. It can be easy when you’ve been working on a marriage for so many years to let yourself get a bit too comfortable with each other in the bedroom. You’ll be delighted to know that the solution is very, very simple: communication.Simply sit your wife down on an evening when both of you have the time to talk, and find out what each of you want. Make the time to try things out with each other. I’m assuming that if you’ve got the great relationship

Our resident sex-pert Uncle Monty is on hand each and every month to address all of you sex woes - in the utmost of confidence

which you spoke about in your letter, speaking to each other in a confident and mature way about sex shouldn’t be an issue. Clearly, you are still very much in love with this woman and it’s obvious that you still adore her, but does she know this?Perhaps you should let her know: a boost to her confidence could benefit you both.Regards,Uncle Monty

Dear Monty,My partner and I have - what I like to think - is a reasonably good sex life. I like to try my best to ensure that her needs are being met at all times. I especially like to make sure that I put an extra effort into foreplay, as this seems to benefit her.

However, I am not as young as I used to be and I feel uncomfort-able trying the tips suggested in magazines. Is there a better or more comfortable way to excite my wife?Thanking you!Awkward,Leeds.

Dearest Awkward,You are a man after my own heart, that’s for sure. I consider these new-fangled methods of ‘arousal’ unbecoming at the very least.There are certainly better ways to excite your missus without resort-ing to awkward poses or bizarre lotions and potions.My personal suggestion would be a good old fashioned massage. Choosing a time perhaps at the end of the day when your partner

finally has some time to herself is a good moment to offer a mas-sage. By easing her into a state of complete relaxation, you increase the intimacy between you two by leading into things very slowly. Once she’s more comfortable with you, her confidence will grow and she’ll eventually start to take the lead. Less can be more here. Remember to act a gentleman at all times - keep your hands in a decent posi-tion until she’s clearly given you the green light.Your best bet is to maintain a soft pressure and massage in slow, circular motions. Trust me, you’ll be a four-play pro in no time. And no silly sex tips required. Regards,Uncle Monty

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36

TRAVEL

International Flight – Honolulu International Airport (HNL)Internal Flight – Lihue Airport, Kauai (LIH)

The Kalalau trail is located in the Nā Pali Coast State Park, on the island of Kauai. Walking this strenu-ous 11 mile trail is the only way to access the natural beauty of this state park by land. You will cross five major valleys (and many smaller ones) as you walk along the narrow cliff-hanging trails.

When you get tired, you can take a break, and watch

the giant waves of the pacific crashing hundreds of metres below you, and take in the dramatic view in the direction you’re about to walk. At the end of the trail is Kalalau Beach, a long and empty golden stretch of sand. Jump in the ocean, play in the waves, and look back towards the beach, backed by ancient green wilderness. Take a breath and admire this little piece of paradise you have discovered.

An experienced, very fit hiker can complete the trail in about a day, but most people require two days and will camp along the trail.

Kalalau Trail, HawaiiWords and photography: Efa Thomas

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TRAVEL

Words and photography: Efa Thomas

International Flight - Tribhuvan International Airport (TIA)Allow 7-10 days for trek.

The Langtang Valley is situated north of Kathmandu, close to the Tibetan border. The bus ride from Kathmandu to Syabrubensi is draining. Despite being only 60 miles in distance, it can take over 10 hours and the bus drivers are ruthless as they race along Nepal’s awful roads. Looking down the side of the cliffs, and seeing rusting buses, is not very reassuring, but the reward at the end of the road is worth it.

Spend the night in one of the tea houses in Syabrubensi, then set off early the next day. Following the Bhote Kosi river upstream, passing through little Buddhist villages, you will see some of the most beautiful scenery in the Himalayas. Tibetan prayer flags and walls made of stones with prayers carved into them in Sanskrit will show you the history of this magical land. Lush green forests, snowy peaks and the friendliest people you will ever come across make this trek unforgettable.

When you’re tired, you will be welcomed into the tea houses where you will be fed and given a bed for a cheap price. The final village is Kyangin at 3,800 metres, spend a day or

two here, so you can explore deeper into the valley without your backpack. Due to the gradual ascent along the river, this trek is not considered strenuous, however,

it is not for the weak hearted and care should be taken after reaching 2,400 metres because altitude sickness which can progress

to potentially fatal diseases.

Langtang TrekNepal

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REVIEWS

Five books ...... every man should read

Neil Gaiman – American Gods

Originating as a comic book writer, Gaiman’s ability to weave an utterly com-pelling fan-tasy is unrivalled. American Gods tells the story of displaced ancient deities struggling to find their place in modern society, where their legends and history are in danger of being forgotten. Recently released criminal Shadow leaves prison to find his wife dead, and a chance encounter with a strange man leads to a chase across dusty US highways to discover the truth behind a series of unsavoury events. Gaiman’s combination of world folklore, religion and sus-pense grips the imagination from start to finish, and leaves you desperate for more long after the final page has been turned.

Andrew Simms – Tesco-poly

We’ve long been questioning whether the ever-increasing pres-ence of supermarket giants in our day to day lives is particular-ly healthy, but it seemed that no one was prepared to investigate the arising issues in substantial depth. Thankfully, along came Andrew Simms with a scathing critique on the inexorable rise of supermarkets, discussing the American roots of large-scale grocery shopping, the creation of the commercial nanny state and the subsequent demise of the Great British high street. It’s

an intriguing, often shocking look at the life-enhancing facade put forth by the coun-try’s largest retailers and the devastating effect it’s having on worldwide communi-ties and environment. This sobering analysis should be read by anyone with half a brain.

Jostein Gaarder – So-phie’s World

Anyone looking to cultivate an interest in life’s most perplex-ing questions should put down their copy of ‘Philosophy For Dummies’ post haste and im-merse themselves in Gaarders best selling philosophical novel. Originally targeted at young adults, it quickly became known as the most effective and acces-sible introduction to philosophy for readers of any age. The book follows Norwegian teenager So-phie Amundsen as she receives a detailed education from a mys-terious philosopher on the vari-ous schools of thought, from Socrates and Neoplatonism through to Sartre and Beauvoir. It’s a must-read for anyone who has been itching to delve into the subject but has never known where to start, and provides an excellent springboard for devel-oping deeper understanding of specific theorists.

Iain Banks – The Wasp Factory

A gothic horror with a twist, the Wasp Factory tells the story

of 16 year old Frank, a troubled and unconventional youth living with his father on a remote Scot-tish island. Its dark humour and the protagonists deadpan descriptions of his twisted upbringing paint an all too convincing portrait of a macabre Wicker Man-esque world, where murder is easy to commit and easier to get away with. Banks is the master of intrigue and draws the reader in to the inner work-ings of Frank’s sociopathic mind, unveiling horror after breathtaking horror until the grisly, genuinely shocking resolution.

Henry Hemming – In Search of the English Ec-centric

The quintessential English ec-centric is, if Henry Hemming is to be believed, an endangered species.

In a humorous and poignant mission, Hemming heads off on a tour of the UK to uncover some of the non-conformist nationals in the vague hope of proving that English eccentricity continues to thrive. His journey takes him to some unlikely places, and leads to him interviewing the

likes of Dame Vivienne Westwood, the Leopard Man of Skye, Captain Beany and Pete Doherty. It’s not all light hearted fun, however, as Hem-ming makes some salient arguments regarding the connection between eccentricity and mental health. It’s a playful yet informative look at our national identity and should not be missed.

Words: Betti Hunter

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REVIEWS

Music to our ears

Treorchy Male ChoirTimeless****Considering their pedigree as Wales’ most-recorded male voice choir, it’s no surprise that Treorchy Male Choir have received accolades from the likes of Sir Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey and Petula Clarke. Christ, even the Queen’s a fan. Since their inception in the early 1980’s, the choir have been famed for embracing popular music into their repertoire by combining contemporary and classical melodies. Timeless is no great departure from their previous of-ferings but is no less moving as a result. Their takes on Karl Jenkins’ Adiemus and the anti-apartheid folk song Senzeni Na proves they can turn their hand to complex African chants just as easily as they tackle more traditional choral pieces such as Nessun Dorma. It’s a solid addition to the argument that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The Keith Little BandSwing Fever*If you’re looking for 45 minutes of horrible self indulgent jazz, never fear! Keith Little and his compatriots are here to deliver a rooty-tooty nightmare that appears to be specifically designed to bore your eardrums to death. Ex-

panding on all of the worst jazz/swing clichés, this is the

kind of pretentious tosh that some young advertising upstart called Tarquin would no doubt play at his dinner party for similarly spray-tanned idiots. It’s a celebration of off-key crooning, smug saxophone parping and endless bongo solos. Bongo solos. Yes, really. Avoid at all costs if you value your sanity.

Dave StewartThe Blackbird Diaries**Remembered mainly for being one half of the Eurythmics, this time around Stewart has done a complete musical about-turn. The synths are firmly in the past, replaced by 12 tracks of faux-Yank dad-rock from deepest Sunderland that even the assistance of Stevie Nicks can’t remedy. Less Sweet Dreams, more Sweet Home Alabama, The Blackbird Diaries is the kind of soulless, contrived country and western that sounds like it should be accompa-nying an amateur cowboy film. One for die-hard fans only.

Who? Allan Yn Y FanWhere? Theatr Felinfach, Dyffryn AeronWhen? Friday 27th April

As far as traditional Twmpath music goes, it’s fair to say that at present interest is not exactly booming. Thankfully for this relatively obscure genre, one band has set out to change that.

Having toured extensively and won over critics with their passion-filled instrumentals, Allan Yn Y Fan is currently Wales’ leading exponents of Celtic Music. The band have been steadily recording, releasing and plugging their wares since 2003, but since the recruitment of singer and fiddle player Meriel Field in 2009 their sound has expanded to take in rousing ceilidh stompers and lilting welsh ballads alike.

The original band of instrumentalists are masters of their craft, their collective musical skills spanning from traditional folk guitars and flutes to bodhrans, bouzoukis and Bach trebles. They specialise in getting even the most reluctant of audiences up on their feet and dancing, and claim to be able to reduce any crowd to a ‘soggy heap’ with their exuberant and original take on traditional Welsh music.

The quintet is currently embarking on a Wales-wide tour as part of their quest to bring Twmpath to the masses and danc-ing seems to be a prerequisite. Anyone expecting twee Arran knits and mawkish dirges lamenting the day of yore are way off the mark, as Allan Yn Y Fan are continuing to prove that traditional music has not yet been put out to pasture.

Victor DemeDeli*****

He may not be a household name just yet, but when Victor Deme burst onto the international music scene aged 47 with his eponymous debut the world sat up and took notice. His sophomore album Deli was recorded in the short periods of time he managed to snatch between stops on his near-constant global tour, and reflects his laid-back attitude to music, culture and life itself. This collection of relaxed contemporary West African compositions is set off beautifully by Demes silky-smooth vocals and rich story-telling ability that even the most hardened world music cynic couldn’t fail to appreciate.

Words: Betti Hunter

Pictures Paint AThousand Words

With The Great Gatsby set to be made into a film this year, we’ve decided to take a look at motion pictures which have done their utmost to remain faithful to our favourite books.

Before John McCririck had even been born, and well before shoprs had started selling out of ‘The Hunger Games’, Orwell set the example of a genre when he wrote 1984.In the very year that his dysto-pian prediction was set to come true, Michael Radford wrote and directed the on-screen depiction of one of the most disturbing books ever written.Despite taking on the herculean task of doing justice to a truly iconic piece of modern litera-ture, the film scopped Best Brit-ish Film of the Year at the 1984 British Film Awards. Rent it, and you can watch Big Brother. For a change.

1984

Brett Easton Ellis’s descrip-tion of the now iconic Patrick Batemen through the medium of words was so disturbing, it’s no surprise that the 2000 film adaptation of the cult-classic book left out some of the more gizzly passages.However, the psychological thriller still managed to honour the shocking nature of one of the worlds most memorable and disturbing characters ever created. Many were awe-struck by the sheer capacity of Christian Bale’s ability to depict a psychopath.

However, recent behaviour by the star may have cleared up that mystery.The only place which the film fails is in its depiction of halluci-nations by Bateman.In the book, one was often left wondering whether or not the paranoid imaginings of the psychopath killer had actually happened. In the film, there was less of an exploration of Bate-man’s insanity.Other than that, near flawless. Prepare to never look at your kitchen utensils in the same way again.

American Psycho

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BOOKS

41

BOOKS

Of Mice and Men started out as a novel follow-ing the lives of two best friends and migrant field workers; George and Lenny. The novel was then remade into a film in 1939 starring names such as: Burgess Meredith, Betty Field and Charles Bickford, to name a few. The original film was updated in 1992 with a new cast featuring stars like John Malkovich and Gary Sinise.The film has been universally acclaimed for its portrayal of the classic novel, and it’s still regarded as a classic.

Prepare yourself for some seri-ous rule breaking: we’re about to talk about Fight Club.Visually depicting the inner workings of Chuck Palahnuik’s mind is no mean feat, but the 1999 production of Fight Club starring a very rough Brad Pitt seemed to achieve the almost impossible. David Fincher’s direction is nothing short of openly ap-plaudable as the motion picture races through the mind-warping concepts and mind blowing

narrative of the 1996 cult novel. Praise can’t be withdrawn for the acting skills of Pitt, who plays the gorgeously insane Tyler Dur-den, and the bizarrely charming Helena Bonham Carter who plays the dissolute Marla Singer. The gritty blockbuster deserves recognition for not only doing the book justice, for attracting very much deserved attention to the work of Palahnuick and helping millions to discover his disturbing but brilliant work.The film aided Palahnuik to

shoot to fame and for the last decade his work has continued to fly off the shelves. The mind-bending movie re-ceived critical acclaim worldwide when it burst onto the Holly-wood scene in the late nineties and sparked a thirst for a new genre of less-glossy, bizarre and rough films. During a decade when material goods were everything, Fight Club had us all wondering just what exactly goes on in our of-fice blocks after dark.

The truth is stranger than fiction, and often, more enter-tainign too. Such was the case with the Watergate scandal which shook American politics to its core. ‘Woodstein’, the nick name given to outstanding journalistic team Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, wrote the gripping book in 1974.The documentation of the cen-tury’s most devastating investiga-tive journalism story every writ-ten had everything - espionage, secrets, lies and money.

All the ingredients needed to create a thrilling and engaging film - which is exactly what Alan J Pakula did in 1976.The Acadamey Award Win-ning film documents the ruth-less work of two Washington Post reporters on their quest to expose the biggest political scandal of our life time which led to Richard Nixon’s ulti-mate downfall. One of the scarce examples of when a book almost works better as a film.

All The President’s Men

Fight Club

Of Mice and Men

42

ARTS

Since the recession hit, there seems to be not a single industry

in Ireland which isn’t on its knees. The country has been drained of its former glory - business, technology and finance industries lay destroyed. From the ashes of a country still getting to grips with the destruction the economic downturn has caused, rise two artists who have creatively used their fi-nancial woes as inspiration.

The Best Things in Life are Free

It took £1.14 billion to make Dublin’s latest tourist attraction – and it’s worth nothing.

Penniless artist Frank Buckley used decommissioned euro notes obtained from the Central Bank to build himself a house after going into negative equity in his Co. Wick-low home.

Following a video of the house - located in Smithfield - going viral in January and massive interest from the public, Frank decided this week to open up his not-so-humble abode to the public as a museum which commemorates Ireland’s

greed with the single currency.Speaking to the Consort, Frank

explained the motives behind the art piece.

“I’m not anti-euro,” he said. “The euro is just paper. It’s what people did with it.”

“It evoked so much interest, and people were so glad to have it around. It sparked a conversation that needed to be had. The house is an outlet for people.”

“I used to get a lot of people who’d call over before going to court. They were able to talk about their own demons and financial dif-ficulties. I used to even get a lot of schools visiting.”

Frank, who is currently on the dole and in serious financial debt, currently lives in the house which he says has been featured on the front page of the New York Times.

“It’s very lonely when you only have £1.14 billion to keep you company,” he joked. “I don’t mind having people come in to chat to me about it. I’m an outgoing guy anyway.”

Visitors to Frank’s house will also be able to see Bertie’s Bowl: a toilet wrapped in bank notes in homage to the former Taoiseach and his al-leged financial corruption.

“It was something I was always thinking about, and I knew the [Mahon] report was coming out,” he told the Consort.

“It’s a bit raw, when you see a

brick of money floating in a toilet. But it’s Bertie, isn’t it?”

Frank also revealed to Consort that Bertie isn’t the only politician he’d like to ‘honour’.

“I’d love to make another one for Padraig Flynn,” he said. “I haven’t thought of anything to do yet but if you have any ideas, let me know and I’ll make something for him in the morning.”

Frank has continued to make even more art with the decommis-sioned bank notes.

“Everything in the house is made of money. Ornaments, my bed, even the fish tank.”

“I’ve made a bike which is drying as we speak. I was out on it this morning,” he told the Consort.

“I don’t know how much it’s worth. It’s useless and it’s priceless. But if I got a million euro for it, I’d consider it.”

Frank’s Billion Euro House is open to the public, from 10am to 6pm each day.

Words: Ellen Coyne

43

ARTS

“GIVE ME MY MONEY!”

tucked into the south coast of Ireland.

“GIVE. ME. MY. MONEY!”

All normality and sense of routine in the bank was shattered as gasping

customers parted like a curtain to reveal a haggard man in a painters mask brandishing a water pistol aggressively.

Some smiled and went about their business, others rolled their eyes and exchanged exasperated looks with one another.

“Didn’t you hear?” asked one clerk, as her colleague began to phone the police.

“Mick Mulcahy’s back in town.”Cork born artist Mick Mulcahy

had returned to inhabit Dungarvan, with a bang. He is as much re-nowned for his magnificently strik-ing paintings as he is his eccentric personality and his reputation as the wild man of the art scene with a penchant for fine wines and beauti-ful women.

Mick’s paintings have sold for thousands and millions of euro on occasion, but rumours around the gossipy town say that the legendary artist is now bankrupt.

He’s taken to acting out his dis-pleasure at the state of the national

economy through the medium in which he’s most comfortable: art.

Consort ignored warnings from other journalists regarding Mick’s deadly charm, and spoke to Mick about his

“ I went into a bank in this town, the AIB, and they called the police, and I did a runner and went into the Moorings, and the guards came in, and I went out, and I says ‘ Look at the banks, what have they done, they have deceived the Irish people of a future with their greed.’”

He goes on to tell a harrowing story of a friend who was unable to repay the mortgage on his house and had committed suicide only a week before the interview.

“Before we had the Famine, now the new Famine is f*****g suicide, because they can’t even afford to pay the interest rates to the banks,” he said.

“They are responsible for an aw-ful lot of f*****g misery, and what

are they doing? Walk-ing around the place, giving themselves 66 million euro increases, I mean, how long can that last?”

Mick joked to Consort that he was planning on rectifying the situation himself, by getting into politics.

“I have a slogan, I must give you a copy

of it.”“I’m dressed like Bin Laden’s

illegitimate son, one dangerous mother*****r, and the slogan goes ‘What Ireland needs, is a leader who is not afraid to be executed.’”

He’s got our vote.

The gravelly roarechoed through the chambers

of the tinyAIB Bank branch

in the seaside down of Dungarvan

“I’m dressed like Bin Laden’s illegitimate son, one dangerous mother*****r, and the slogan goes ‘What Ire-land needs, is a leader who is not afraid to be executed.’

Words: Ellen Coyne

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45

Next month in

CONSORT

The new Porsche Boxster driven

The June issue is shipping on May 25th

... a magazine for real gents

Catch up with the girls you grew up withIndulge your inner teenager; we find the pin-up girls of the 70s

Plus all the regular features:TravelCarsStyleHealthBusinessReviews

Hiking

50things to doafter you’re50

The concept of being “too old” to do anything is fairly alien to us here at Consort. That’s why we’ve dedicated a page each month to making our very own bucket list of things which one benefits from doing after the grand milestone that is a 50th birthday party.

To begin, we’ve suggested hiking.There are scarce few hobbies with which you get

out just as much as you put into it.With just a minimal amount of training, even a

complete novice can slowly but surely train them-selves up to the ability level to scale any mountain.

As well as that, you’ve gained a hobby which can not only keep you healthy, it can take you to some of the most exotic places in the world.

Deirdre Nolan explained to Consort that after she developed an adult case

of meningitis, her perspective on life completely changed, and that’s when she started hiking.

“Before I got meningitis, I was really career orientated.”

“After I came so close to death, I just saw everything really differently.”

Deirdre’s family were told by doctors that she had a 4% chance of surviving her illness, and even after her miraculous survival of the deathly disease, she spent a further five months on dialysis after one of her kid-neys failed.

Somehow, Deirdre managed to pull through.

“I suppose I’m a bit of a miracle,” she laughed.

Afterwards, her whole per-spective on her work/life bal-ance altered dramatically, and she started to try things which she’d never done before - such as hiking.

“I’ve hiked in Peru, Cambodia and Argentina,” she said.

“These are all things I defi-nitely wouldn’t have dreamed of doing before.”

Deirdre went on to explain to Consort that her life satisfac-

tion has improved immesurably.“You just look at everything

differently. Everything is flipped on its head.

When you’re doing all these amazing trips to amazing places, you just value life more.”

“I’ve just had a complete fresh start at life.”

Hiking is being equipped with the ability to access the most beautiful and isolated places in the world, and all with your own two feet.

If Deirdre can do it, why not you?

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LIFE

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