CONNECT LEADER GUIDE - Amazon S3 · Activity: Bible Rebus Let’s start with a little competition to break the ice. Under one chair at each table is a worksheet that contains 51 rebus

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CONNECT: LEADER’S GUIDE

CONNECTLEADER GUIDE

D I S C O V E R > C O N N E C T > P A R T N E R

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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WEEK 1

WEEK 2

WEEK 3

WEEK 4

WEEK 5

WEEK 6

Community is God’s Gift to His People

Created for Community

Community is Not Just For Us

Becoming Good Friends by Looking to Jesus

The Importance of Having Good Friends

The Five Essential Qualities of a Good Friend

Jesus is the Friend Our Heart Needs

Community Helps Us Know Jesus More

Knowing Jesus is Our Greatest Joy

Self-Sufficiency Keeps Us from Knowing Jesus

Community Combats Self-Sufficiency

How We Pursure Knowing Jesus Together

Community Helps Us Grow in Jesus

Growth is Good

Self-Righteousness Keeps Us from Growing in Jesus

Community Helps Us Overcome Self-Righteousness and Grow in Jesus

Community is God’s Gift to His People







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Community is God’s Git to His People

• Participants will meet and know the names of several other participants.

• Participants will know and believe that we were made by God for community.

• “Christmas Rebus,” one per table (place in an envelope and tape under one

chair at each table)

• Answer key

• Staff contact information, one per person

• Week One worksheet, one per person

• Participants will feel safe and at home in this new class community.

• Participants will desire biblical community & see it as a gift rather than a duty.

• Participants will start relationships with others in the class through

discussion, games, and stories.

• Participants will make plans to come back for the second week of class.

1 Corinthians 12:14-27

God created biblical community as a gift to His people.

• Pens and pencils, one per person

KNOW

FEEL

DO

PRINT

SCRIPTURE

MAIN POINT

PROVIDE

OBJECTIVES

CLASS PREP

CONNECT CLASS: WEEK ONECommunity is God’s Gift to His People

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INTRODUCTIONOur goal in this class is for you to more deeply love and more closely

follow Jesus by helping you connect to a smaller group of believers

from our church family. We want for everyone to experience and enjoy

the family God has given us in one another, and community is the

perfect place for that. The smaller groups we form during this class

will help this big church feel smaller, and the relationships you form

with each other will help you know Jesus, grow in Jesus more, grow in

your faith in Him, and serve others more fully.

By the end of the class, you will be a part of a new community group.

Each week, we will be spending time hearing from God’s Word but

also spending time getting to know one another through discussion

and activities. Our hope is to make room for relationships and friend-

ships to begin to form during this class, so that they can continue on

in your new groups.

Activity: Bible Rebus

Let’s start with a little competition to break the ice. Under one chair

at each table is a worksheet that contains 51 rebus puzzles. These

puzzles use simple words and drawings to represent different words

or phrases. For example, the first picture has the word “Daniel,” and

all around it is the word “lion” in a box. That represents “Daniel in the

lion’s den.” I’m going to give you all five minutes to solve as many as

you can.

Introduce yourself and

welcome everyone to the

first week of Connect

Class. Let participants

know basic information,

such as restroom location

and availability of food and

drink, and that they are

welcome to get up for a

refreshment or bathroom

break whenever needed.

After the five minutes,

read out the answers

from the answer key and

ask groups how many

they answered correctly.

Congratulate the winning

table and ask everyone to

give them a hand.

Introduction

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Discussion: Get to Know You

Now that you’ve all spent some time working together at your tables,

I’d like to give you all an opportunity to get to know each other a little

better. But before we do that, let me introduce the other leaders in

this class.

Please know that all of these leaders, myself included, are here for

you. We want to talk with you and get to know you. Reach out to us

about anything and everything from telling us about a good movie

you recently saw to asking for prayer or help with a challenge you’re

facing. This class is designed to help you feel more like a part of our

church family, and one of the many benefits of being a part of our

church family is having people as part of your life in its high points

and low points. Our class leaders want to be a part of your life during

this season, and so please know the door is always open to you.

Now it’s your turn for introductions. While this class will include bib-

lical teaching each week, one of the most helpful things you can do

over these six weeks is to spend time getting to know each other. The

more you know each another, the more you will be able to experience

the benefits of Christian community during this class and beyond.

Take some time at your tables to get to know each other.

• Share your name and a little bit about your family.

• What was your hometown?

• How long have you lived in Austin?

• What is one fun fact about yourself?

• Why did you sign up for this class?

Introduce other staff

members that will be

a part of the class, MC

Coaches, and new com-

munity group leaders, if

you selected them before

the class began. Provide

contact information for

yourself and the other

staff members helping

lead the class in a form

that participants can take

home.

Introduction

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CREATED FOR COMMUNITYI’d love to take a moment and hear from some of you the answer to

the last question: Why did you sign up for this class?

Thanks for sharing. There are a lot of reasons that men and women

sign up for this class. Some of you are new to Austin or new to our

church and want to meet other people. Others of you have been a part

of our church for some time, but are wanting to go deeper in commu-

nity or join a new community group. Still, others of you are wanting to

engage more with what this church is doing in serving Austin and the

world. Or maybe some of you just came for the snacks.

But no matter how you answered that question, I believe there is a

longing for connection—for meaningful relationships and deep friend-

ships—in all of us.

Illustration: Longing for Relationship

We tend to notice our longing for relationship most when we find

ourselves in a place where we don’t have very many friends. We’ve all

heard of the despair that a child or a teen feels when their parents

sit them down to tell them they are moving. “What about my friends?

What about my new boyfriend or girlfriend? No one there will know

me! Who will I invite to my birthday party? Who will I hang out with?

My life is over!”

We can all empathize with that feeling of sadness in a season where

we feel like we have no friends. Even though we might not scream,

“My life is over,” like a teenager just told that their family is moving,

we have all felt the feeling of loss and fear when making a major tran-

sition. Whether you’ve moved to a new city or neighborhood, changed

jobs, started a new school, or joined any new social group, you’ve

probably at some point felt that same desire for the safety, security,

and joy that comes from having a community of friends.

Finding a new community is not easy, either. Despite the fact that we

all live in a city with hundreds of thousands of people, that most of us

rub shoulders with dozens of people a day, and that technology allows

us to interact with hundreds of people in an instant, it’s often easy to

feel alone. A true community filled with meaningful relationships is

not easy to come by.

Allow several participants

to share why they signed

up for Connect Class.

Tell a personal story of a

time when you felt the ab-

sence of true friendships

and how that felt. The

purpose of this illustration

is to show empathy for

and validate the feelings of

those who are in the room

hoping to gain friendships

and relationships from

this class. An example

illustration is given.


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Discussion: What Is True Community?

So how will we know “true community” when we’ve found it? Take

some time at your tables to answer the questions under the heading,

“What Is True Community?”

• Name the places where you frequently interact with other

people. Would you consider these men and women friends, or

acquaintances? Why?

• When you think of close friends from your life, what would you

point to as the main reason you were friends? Was it extended

time together, shared experiences, personality, or something

else?

• How do you define “true community”?

True community is more than mere association or time spent with

others. Many of us spend eight hours a day or more with others in our

company working toward a common goal. Yet most of us would not

say that the people there are our close friends.

True community is more than being a part of the same group. Joining

the PTA or Sam’s Club doesn’t automatically result in community.

Being in a Facebook group with other parents at your kids’ schools or

being in a fitness class or CrossFit box doesn’t automatically result in

community.

True community is more than knowing facts about other people. With

Facebook and other social media sites, you can know a lot of facts

about a person without actually knowing them. You can know where

someone works, where they went to school, their family members’

names and faces, what their favorite restaurants are, and where they

went on vacation last year, but that doesn’t make them your friend.

We want more than to spend time in the same space as others. We

want more than simply belonging to the same groups or clubs. We

want more than mere facts about the lives of others. We want to know

and be known. We want to love and be loved. We want people to

celebrate with when things are good, and to mourn with when trag-

edy strikes. We want to join with others and be a part of something

significant together. In short, we want good friends. I bet we can all

go around the table and share stories of friendships like these.

Give tables a few minutes

to discuss the questions,

and then continue with

the teaching.


“Friendship is the source

of the greatest pleasures,

and without friends

even the most agreeable

pursuits become tedious.”

—Thomas Aquinas

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Illustration: A Good Friend

Good friends are there for you in big ways and in little ways. Take the

example of a father whose daughter comes home from school with a

completely changed demeanor. His usually joyful little girl is reserved

and quiet, with a tinge of sadness. No matter how he asks her what

happened at school, she continues to insist that nothing happened

and that she’s “fine.” She goes to bed early, still clearly sad, and he

sits down on the couch to figure out what he could do to help his lit-

tle girl. A good friend is someone who this dad knows he can text, no

matter how late, and ask for prayer and advice. A good friend is there

to listen to this dad and remind him of the fact that Jesus is in con-

trol and that He will continue to guide him and his daughter. Having

someone there to talk to and check in with you the next day can turn

everything around. Knowing that someone else cares and wants good

for you can make all the difference.

When we hear stories of true friendship or think of these stories from

our own life, we long to experience them anew. True friendships are

one of the great joys of life. In C.S. Lewis’s book, “The Four Loves,”

he describes friendship in this way:

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe

itself ... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which

give value to survival.” —C.S. Lewis, “The Four Loves”

Friendship is not one of our basic needs for survival like food, water,

and shelter. But it is something we all want. Our lives have more

value, more enjoyment, with friends. And that is no surprise, because

God created us for friendship and for community, and we can see that

truth from the very beginning.

Not Good for Man to Be Alone

In Genesis 2:18, God tells Adam, “It is not good that the man should

be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

After spending a whole chapter declaring every aspect of creation

“good,” God stops and says that something is “not good.” Out of

everything God made in the entire story of creation, God only says one

Tell a personal story of a

time a person was a good

friend to you, or when you

were able to be a good

friend to someone else.

This can be a story of

comforting someone when

tragedy strikes, celebrat-

ing a success together, or

overcoming a challenge

together. The goal is to

illustrate what a good

friendship looks like. An

example story is given.


“Every other relationship

we experience had a

genesis. Marriage was

created. The parent-child

relationship was created.

Work relationships were

created. But friendship

was never created. It’s

part of the eternal nature

of God. Ponder that till

your brain hurts: there has

never been a time when

there was not friendship.”

—J.D. Greear

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thing is “not good.” It was not good for man to be alone. It was true

then, and it’s true for us today. It’s not good to live this life alone.

We were made in God’s image. God has eternally existed in relation-

ship as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Just as God has always lived in

relationship, we must also live in relationship with others to most fully

reflect God’s image.

Two Are Better than One

Let’s now look at Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, which says, “Two are better

than one, because they have a good return for their labor; if either of

them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.”

From this passage, we again see that it is not good to be alone. Two

are better than one. But why? One reason is that we can obtain better

results by working together than by working alone. There is a “good

return” for labor when people are working together. And that isn’t just

talking about getting others to help you move from one house to an-

other or help you with a landscaping project. It’s also true in the big-

ger areas of life. We grow in Christlikeness in marriage and parenting

when we are sharing our joys and struggles in community and gaining

wisdom from others. We also have a greater return in our mission of

showing the love of Jesus when we do so in community. We’ll hear a

lot more about that in week five of this class.

In addition, we see from Ecclesiastes that friendships are a gift be-

cause friends are there to help in times of need. When we fall down,

friends are there to help us up. Friends are there to offer encourage-

ment, prayer, support, and help. And we are there to help our friends

in their time of need as well.


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COMMUNITY IS NOT JUST FOR US

Activity: Investigating 1 Corinthians 12

Now it’s your turn. As a table, read 1 Corinthians 12:14-27 and list

as many true things about community as you can from this passage.

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot

should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’

that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear

should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’

that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body

were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body

were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God

arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If

all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are

many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the

head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the parts

of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those

parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater

honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modes-

ty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so

composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it,

that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may

have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer

together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. (1 Cor-

inthians 12:14-28)

These are all great things you have observed. There is so much we

can glean from this passage about community. Let me reiterate a few

of the major observations from this passage.


After the groups have

had time to make their

own observations, invite

volunteers to share some

of their observations.

“Your uniqueness is

spectacular, but it has

not been given to you

simply so that you might

be unique. Rather in that

uniqueness, you bring a

distinctively you piece to

the body. So you are a

foot, you are hand, you

are an eye or you are a

head. And I know some of

us want to pick our parts,

but the text that you have

been uniquely wired and

uniquely placed by God

for the manifestation of

the good among a cove-

nant community.”

—Matt Chandler

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1. God has given us gifts and talents that will help the church.

God created each person uniquely and individually. He has given each

of us gifts and talents that can be used for the good of His church.

2. Every person is indispensable.

God has given each person here a role to play in building up His

church. In the same way, He has given you a role in your new com-

munity that only you can fill. You may have a gift of shepherding that

God can use to care for the other people in your community group. Or

you may have a gift of organization that He can use to help the group

plan its gatherings. Others may have a gift of compassion, and He

can use you to be attentive to the needs and concerns of others. No

matter how God has wired you, you will play a significant role in the

group.

3. God places equal value on all the gifts He gives.

This is an extension of the last point. Sometimes we tend to place

greater value on some gifts over others. Perhaps you feel like your

skill, your gift, is less important than others’. God values each gift He

has given, and He sees your specific gift and talent as indispensable

to the group.

4. Our caring for one another has a big impact on our lives and the lives of others.

At the end of the passage, God calls us to unity in light of the fact

that we are all indispensable to the community. We are all in this

together. When one person is hurting, we all hurt with them. Likewise,

when one member is honored, the whole body gets to rejoice with

them.

To bring this all together, what we see in this passage is that while

community is a gift to us, it is not simply for us to receive. It’s also

a gift for us to give. God calls us to be an active part of community.

Part of the blessing of community is contributing and using our gifts

and talents for the good of others in the group.

“We have spiritual gifts in

order to help other people

keep the faith and main-

tain an even keel in life’s

storms. If there is anybody

around you whose faith

is being threatened in

any way at all, take stock

whether you may have

a spiritual gift peculiarly

suited to strengthen that

person.”

—John Piper


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Discussion: Your Role in Community

Let’s spend some time in our groups reflecting on what we’ve seen

about community in Scripture today. Use the questions below as a

guide.

• What does hearing the phrase, “God created you for communi-

ty,” make you think? What does it make you feel?

• How does it make you feel that God made you an indispensable

part of His church? Excited? Intimidated? Why do you feel this

way?

• What role do you see yourself usually playing in groups of

friends?

• What gifts and talents have others identified in you in the past?

Do you agree?

• What excites you about starting a new community group

through this class?

CONCLUSIONOur goal this week was to help you see that the desire for close

friendship is something God placed in each of us. He created us for

community, and He created community as a gift to us. Through com-

munity, we gain a better return on our work. Through community, we

have others who can help us in times of need. In addition to seeing

community as a gift, we also saw that God uniquely created us to con-

tribute to our community and be a blessing to our friends.

Next week, we’ll look at Christ as an example of how to be a good

friend. And in the weeks following, we’ll see that our communities

help us know Jesus, grow in Jesus, and show Jesus to others.

We are excited to start this journey with you and help you honor Christ

as you discover more about Him and about yourself through commu-

nity. When you come back next week, feel free to sit with the same

people as this week, or find a new table. And please come up and

introduce yourself to me or any of the other class leaders. We are here

to get to know you!

Let me pray to close us.


The Bible says that God

has given at least one

spiritual gift or ability to

every believer. Some may

seem very ordinary or in-

significant to you, but they

aren’t, because every tal-

ent is important in God’s

work. God’s purpose is to

strengthen His people so

they can serve Him and

share Christ’s love with a

lost and confused world,

and we each have a part

in that great task.”

—Billy Graham

Pray, thanking God for

the gift of community.

Ask God to give each

of the men and women

attending the class this

gift by helping them con-

nect deeply to their new

community groups that

will be forming. Ask Him

to reveal to each person

how He has gifted them to

bless the other members

of the body of Christ, and

to give each person the

opportunity to use those

gifts in community. Ask

Him to remove any obsta-

cles to the class attendees

connecting with each oth-

er, and to bond His people

together in Him.

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• Participants will know the qualities of a good friend.

• Participants will know that Jesus perfectly has all the qualities of a good friend.

• One copy of “Week Two - TV Show Theme Song Lyrics”

• Week Two worksheets, one per person

• Participants will long to have friends who have the qualities of a good friend

and to show the qualities of a good friend to others.

• Participants will feel thankfulness that Jesus perfectly has all the qualities of

a good friend.

• Participants will continue building relationships with others in the class

through discussion, games, and stories.

• Participants will fill out survey to be placed in a community group.

Proverbs 25-27, John 15:13, Hebrews 4:15-16

Our friendship with Jesus helps us be good friends to others and deepens our relationships with other believers.

• Pens or pencils, one per person

• Blank sheet of paper, one per table

• Survey to be used to place participants in new community groups starting

week three (this can be either a paper survey or an online form to fill out)

KNOW

FEEL

DO

PRINT

SCRIPTURE

MAIN POINT

PROVIDE

OBJECTIVES

CLASS PREP

CONNECT CLASS: WEEK TWOBecoming Good Friends by Looking to Jesus

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INTRODUCTIONOur goal in this class is for you to more deeply love and more closely

follow Jesus by helping you connect to a smaller group of believers

from our church family. Specifically, we believe that community is

essential to helping us do three things:

1. Know Jesus

2. Grow in Jesus

3. Show Jesus to the world

Last week, we talked about how community is a gift from God to help

us do these three things. This week, we’ll see what a true friend looks

like by looking at Jesus.

Activity: TV Theme Song Trivia

But first, many of you are at new tables from last week and some of

you may have missed the last class. So let me give you a few minutes

to go around your tables and share your names and some basic info

about your family and what part of town you live in.

Now, with the people at your table, let’s do a little competition to

get you to work together. I’ll read the lyrics to some TV show theme

songs. Your table will together try to remember what TV show the

lyrics come from. Write down the answers on the blank piece of paper

on your table. The table that gets the most answers correct, wins!

The theme song for “Cheers” is right. Sometimes you want to go

where everybody knows your name. But, as we talked about last week,

simply having acquaintances who know your name isn’t enough. We

want and need friends who will say, “I’ll be there for you,” like the

“Friends” theme song says.

Introduce yourself and

welcome everyone back

to the second week of

Connect Class. Remind

everyone of the basic

information, such as

restroom location and

availability of food and

drink, and that they are

welcome to get up for a

refreshment or bathroom

break whenever needed.

Use the resource titled

“Week 2 - TV Theme

Songs” to play the trivia

game. Once you have

read through all ten lyric

sets, give the answers and

see which team had the

most correct. Congratulate

the winning team(s) and

have everyone else give

them a hand.

Introduction

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Discussion: Examples of an Amazing Friend

Take some time in your groups to share a story about a time when

someone was an amazing friend to you. This can be a recent example

or something from when you were in elementary school. Share whatev-

er story comes to mind. In about ten minutes, I’ll pull us back togeth-

er and ask for a few of you to share with all of us.

THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING GOOD FRIENDSEveryone here would likely agree that having good friends is import-

ant, but the type of friends we fill our lives with is probably even more

important than we may think. As much as we like to think we deter-

mine our own path and decide who we are ultimately going to be on

our own, the people around us have a great impact on who we are and

how we think, feel, and behave.

The book of Proverbs affirms the truth that friends have a great im-

pact on our lives. It is full of wisdom and warnings about friends. Here

are a few of the verses that talk about the importance of having good

friends:

• Proverbs 12:26 — One who is righteous is a guide to his neigh-

bor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

• Proverbs 13:20 — Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,

but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

• Proverbs 18:24 — A man of many companions may come to

ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

• Proverbs 22:24-25 — Make no friendship with a man given to

anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and

entangle yourself in a snare.

• Proverbs 27:17 — Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens

another.

In other words, our community helps form us. We are who we are, in

part, through the influence of those we call friends. So it’s important

to seek the right type of friend, and to seek to be the right type of

friend.

After about ten minutes

of discussion, ask for

volunteers to share stories

with the entire class.

Share an example from

your life as well.


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Illustration: Our Friends Influence Us

1 Kings 12 tells the story of a man who chose to listen to the coun-

sel of unwise friends. Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, had just inherited

the throne after Solomon’s death. In verse four, the people come

to Rehoboam and request that he lighten their burden, saying that

Solomon had been too hard on them. Rehoboam wisely asks for a few

days to think on their request.

He first goes to his father’s counselors who tell him that he should

take the position of a servant and honor their request, that they might

be loyal to him all his life. He then turns to his friends and asks them

for their advice. His friends give him the exact opposite advice, en-

couraging him to increase the burden on the people.

Scripture doesn’t tell us why these young men encouraged Rehoboam

to do this, but it seems they were more interested in their own pres-

tige and power and not concerned with the welfare of the people.

They also had not considered the long-term implications this would

have on Rehoboam’s leadership. Rehoboam unwisely followed the

advice of his friends, which resulted in the division of God’s Kingdom

as ten tribes revolted, forming a new nation under Rehoboam’s rival,

Jeroboam.

Our friends greatly impact the direction and quality of our lives, so

it’s important to seek to surround ourselves with positive influences.

Again, as Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise be-

comes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm.”

Tell a story of a time

you were influenced for

good or for bad by your

association with a friend.

If you do not have a story,

you can use the example

given.


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THE FIVE ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF A GOOD FRIEND

Activity: Listing the Qualities of a Good Friend

Let’s take some time to identify the qualities of a good friend. Think

back to the stories you told at the beginning of class today, and as a

table, list out the qualities of a good friend. Write as many as you can

think of.

We’ve come up with a great list of qualities of a good friend. Now

let’s focus on five essential qualities of a good friend, some of which

we already mentioned, and some we may not have. These five essen-

tial qualities separate a mediocre friend from a true friend. When it

comes to friendship, the best of the best possess these.

1. Empathetic

A good friend enters your world, even when it is drastically different

from theirs.

A good friend seeks to understand who you are and what you are

thinking and feeling on any particular day. They think through how

you might receive their words and actions and then speak accordingly.

Proverbs 27:14 shows an example of a person who is not empathetic

in this way. It says, “Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice,

rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.” For those of

you who aren’t morning people, even if a friend calls with a word of

encouragement at 7am, you wouldn’t consider it a blessing. You’d

consider it a curse! A friend who has empathy would know not to call

so early.

Empathy also goes beyond preferences and whether or not you are

a “morning person.” Empathy takes into account another person’s

feelings and acts accordingly. Proverbs 25:20 says, “Whoever sings

songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold

day, and like vinegar on soda.” The two people in this verse are in

drastically different places. The lighthearted person singing a song is

not being a good friend to the person with a heavy heart because he

or she is not empathizing well.


Give tables some time

to compile a list. Ask for

each table to read three

of the qualities from their

list, without repeating

something said by another

table. You may choose to

write these answers on

a board or large sheet of

paper so the whole class

can see.

“When we honestly ask

ourselves which person in

our lives means the most

to us, we often find that

it is those who, instead of

giving advice, solutions, or

cures, have chosen rather

to share our pain and

touch our wounds with a

warm and tender hand.”

—Henri Nouwen

18


A good friend enters into our world. If we are broken-hearted, a good

friend comes alongside and cries with us. If we are on top of the

world, a good friend will rejoice with us. This is what it means to have

empathy.

2. Sacrificial

A good friend is there for you, even at great cost

to themselves.

We all believe this. We all know that the best friends are the ones you

can count on. But having someone who is always there for you is a

rare thing. There are tons of people in our lives who we like and enjoy,

but that we primarily interact with due to proximity. We are friends

with people we work with, the people who live on our street, and the

people who have kids in the same class as our kids. But these friends

aren’t the type who are there for us through thick and thin. They

are not likely to give up time, energy, or money to help us in time

of need. In fact, they aren’t even likely to know when we have these

needs. And if we’re honest, we probably wouldn’t know about needs

they have or sacrifice much in order to meet those needs.

But with our close friends, it should be different. Good friends aren’t

just there for you when it’s convenient. The Bible says, “a friend loves

at all times” (Proverbs 17:17), and that means all kinds of times—

good times, bad times, fun times, and hard times. They are there for

you when the chips are down. They are there for you even when you

don’t have anything to offer them, and even when it comes at great

cost to themselves.

3. Forgiving

A good friend seeks to restore a broken relationship, even when we

don’t deserve it.

Because we are sinners, we will inevitably hurt one another when we

enter into each other’s lives. The natural tendency for all of us is to

distance ourselves from any person who has wronged us in some way.

We see in the Bible that a good friend should have the opposite reac-

tion. Listen to this interaction between Jesus and Peter in Matthew

18:21-22:


19


Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my

brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven

times.”

Peter probably thinks to himself, “If I forgive someone seven times,

I’m doing pretty well. That’s a lot!” But Jesus wants to radically

change his understanding of forgiveness. A good friend forgives not

seven times, but seventy-seven times. A good friend is not looking for

a way not to forgive, but rather seeks to restore broken relationships.

4. Honest

A good friend is honest with you, even when it hurts.

Illustration: Truth That Hurts

There is a new type of business model that has gained traction over

the last couple of years. Companies will ship clothes, glasses, or

accessories to your door, and then you try them on, keep the ones you

like, and send the rest back. When that box comes to your door, that’s

when you want true friends with you. You don’t want people who

simply say that everything looks great on you. If a pair of glasses you

think make you look great actually make you look ridiculous, you want

to know that! You want honest friends when your Stitch Fix or Warby

Parker shipment arrives, and you want them in other areas of your life

as well.

A good friend is willing to hurt your feelings if it means giving you the

truth. We all have blind spots in our lives. We all have character flaws

that we don’t see. Many times, the only way to grow is to have a close

friend who cares for us give us their honest assessment.

The Bible says it this way: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an ene-

my” (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Covering the truth in love is what an enemy does. It’s like Judas

betraying Jesus with a kiss. Good friends are willing to wound their

friends with words that may be painful, but that they need to hear for

their good.


Tell a story of a time a

friend told you something

that was hard to hear, but

you were glad they told

you about. Alternatively,

use the example below.

20


5. Nurturing

A good friend helps you see what is best for you and works to help

you get there.

Just as we have blind spots for the negative aspects of our own

character, we also often fail to see opportunities to grow and to thrive.

The best friends are those who see more good in us than we see in

ourselves and who work to bring that out in us. They help us see new

opportunities for growth and encourage us to take advantage of them.

They make us into the best versions of ourselves. As Proverbs 27:17

says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Discussion: Examining the Five Essential Quali-ties

• Which of these five essential qualities of a good friend (empa-

thetic, sacrificial, forgiving, honest, and nurturing) come easily

for you in a friendship?

• Which are harder for you to display to others, and why?

• Are there any qualities of a good friend that you feel are miss-

ing from this list? What are they, and why are they essential for

a good friend to possess?


Encourage tables to take

some time discussing

these five essential quali-

ties of a good friend, using

the questions as a guide.

21


JESUS IS THE FRIEND OUR HEART NEEDSAs we have shared stories of good friends and discussed the five

essential qualities, have you found your heart stirred? Has your soul

been refreshed as you’ve remembered the faithfulness of good friends

in your past? Have you felt a longing to be this type of friend and to

have more of this type of friend in your life today?

Have you ever wondered why we are so universally drawn toward

friends like this? Because these friends that we love so deeply are

really echoes of a greater friend.

Jesus is our ultimate and perfect friend. The Son of God and Savior

of the world has chosen to call us “friends.” He says this Himself in

John 15:13, “Greater love has no man than this, that he would lay

his life down for his friends. No longer do I call you servants but I call

you friends.”

Jesus shows all of these five essential qualities of a good friend to us,

and He does so in a perfect way.

1. Empathetic

Jesus entered our world, even when it was drastically different from

Heaven.

God Himself literally entered our world by taking on flesh and being

born as a human. Jesus knows what it’s like to feel joy, anger, frus-

tration, happiness, despair, and more. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For

we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our

weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we

are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the

throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in

time of need.” No matter what we are feeling or experiencing, Jesus

understands and is able to empathize and help us.


“Would you choose for a

friend a person like Christ

with such dignity? It is

a thing common to our

experience in this world to

have those for our friends

who are much above us

because we look upon

ourselves honored by the

friendship of such. Thus,

how a young inferior maid

would be pleased to have

a great and excellent

prince to give his dear love

to her?! This is the stuff

of fairy tales! But Christ is

infinitely above you, and

above all the princes of

the earth for he is King of

kings. So honorable a per-

son as this offers himself

to you, in the nearest and

dearest friendship!”

—Jonathan Edwards

22


2. Sacrificial

Jesus was there for us, even at great cost to Himself.

Jesus gave up His very life for our good, dying the death that we de-

serve to die and experiencing all the consequences of our sin so that

we could be saved from them.

“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ

died for us” (Romans 5:8).

3. Forgiving

Jesus sought to restore our broken relationship with God, even when

we didn’t deserve it.

As Jesus suffered on the cross for all His followers, He cried out,

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Even though we are enemies of God, undeserving of forgiveness, He

chooses to forgive.

4. Honest

Jesus is honest with us, even when it hurts.

Jesus knows the sinful condition of our hearts and chooses to love us

still. He sends the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin so that we can turn

away from it and walk in the light.

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship

with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all

sin” (1 John 1:7).

5. Nurturing

Jesus helps us see what is best for us and works to help us get there.

Jesus’s commands are for our good, and by following them we find joy

and peace. Jesus came that we “may have life and have it abundant-

ly” (John 10:10). We find the best version of ourselves by following

Him and His guidance.


“Christ has done for us all

that needed to be done.

He has done much more

than we ever could have

asked him to do or expect-

ed him to do. He has done

more for us than we can

understand even now that

he has done it, and more

than you and I are likely

ever to understand even

when our intellect shall

have been developed and

enlarged to the utmost

degree before the eternal

throne, for even there I

do not think we shall ever

fully know how much we

owe to the friendship of

our best Friend.”

—Charles Spurgeon

23


So Jesus is the ultimate friend. He gave up everything so He could be

with us, His friends, again. All our other friendships are mere shad-

ows of our friendship with Jesus. When our hearts are sick with the

thought of having no friends, of no one seeing us, caring for us, or

looking out for us, we can know that our deepest longing for friend-

ship has abundantly been met in Jesus.

Our friendship with Jesus frees us from striving so hard to get our

needs for friendship met in other people only. It frees us to be gen-

erous and giving in our relationships because we have already been

given more than we could ask or imagine in Jesus. Our friendship

with Jesus empowers us to be the type of good friend that we have

been talking about today. And this naturally leads others to want to be

friends with us in return.

You are cared for and seen by Jesus. You don’t have to fear rejection

from others. You don’t have to only look out for yourself and your own

interests. You can love freely and fully in friendship because that is

how Jesus loves you.

Discussion: Jesus as the Ultimate Friend

• How has what you have heard today changed your view of

Jesus?

• Which aspect of Jesus’s friendship toward you (empathetic,

sacrificial, forgiving, honest, nurturing) stands out most to you?

Why?

• How does our friendship with Jesus change our friendship with

others?

“Christ has done for us all that needed

to be done. He has done much more

than we ever could have asked him to

do or expected him to do. He has done

more for us than we can understand

even now that he has done it, and

more than you and I are likely ever to

understand even when our intel-

lect shall have been developed and

enlarged to the utmost degree before

the eternal throne, for even there I do

not think we shall ever fully know how

much we owe to the friendship of our

best Friend.” —Charles Spurgeon

Encourage tables to discuss this view

of Jesus as the friend our heart needs,

using the questions below as a guide.


Encourage tables to dis-

cuss this view of Jesus as

the friend our heart needs,

using the questions below

as a guide.

24


CONCLUSIONI hope your discussion times in your group added to your appreciation

for all Jesus has done for us as our ultimate friend. Some of you may

never have thought of Jesus as your greatest friend before, or maybe

you heard the good news of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection in a

new and fresh way today. If so, or if you have questions about what

we discussed today, please come up and talk to me or one of our

leaders. We would love nothing more than to spend more time talking

about the good news of Christ with you.

To bring us to a close, let’s zoom out and remember what we’re doing

here. Our goal in this class is for you to more deeply love and more

closely follow Jesus by helping you connect to a smaller group of be-

lievers from our church family. We hope that these last two weeks of

class have given you a good perspective on the gift of community and

the importance of having Jesus at the center of our friendships.

We also hope that you’ve gotten a chance to get to know some new

faces and names through our activities and discussions. We hope

to help you make deeper relationships by organizing all of you into

specific groups that you will sit with for the next four weeks of class.

We have a short form for you all to fill out before you leave today that

will give us some basic information to help us place you into these

groups. We’ll use the information we gather to try and assign groups

with members who have some natural overlap with each other. If you

have any questions about the process, please talk to us after class

today.

I’ll pray to close our time together, and then you can fill out the form

and be dismissed.

Conclusion

Pray, thanking Jesus for

being our ultimate friend.

Ask Him to make this

truth real for everyone in

the class so that we can

all be freed to be great

friends to each other.

Pray for God to guide the

formation of these new

community groups, and

that He would provide

unity and friendships that

can continue after this

class is over.

25


• Participants will know that knowing and trusting God brings joy and peace.

• Participants will know several ways that community helps them know God more.

• Week 3 Student Note sheets, one per person

• Participants will feel that it is OK to be not OK and that they can be honest

and open in their groups.

• Participants will feel excited to know God more with the help of their groups.

• Participants will start a habit of reading their Bibles and praying regularly and

sharing what they are learning with their community.

• Participants will make plans to gather as a community over a meal.

1 John 1:1-4

Community helps us overcome the barrier of self-sufficiency so that we can know Jesus more.

• Pens and pencils, one per person

• Table assignments—either posted as people enter the room or a list of names

on each table

• A large amount of blank paper for each table

KNOW

FEEL

DO

PRINT

SCRIPTURE

MAIN POINT

PROVIDE

OBJECTIVES

CLASS PREP

CONNECT CLASS: WEEK THREECommunity Helps Us Know Jesus More

Community Helps Us Know Jesus More

26


INTRODUCTIONWe have said for the past two weeks that our goal in this class is for

you to more deeply love and more closely follow Jesus by helping you

connect to a smaller group of believers from our church family. Our

hope and prayer is that God will use the next four weeks to form new

community groups from the people you are sitting with, and that over

time He will use these men and women to help you know Jesus, grow

in Jesus, and show Jesus to the world.

These groups were formed using the information provided to us last

week. We looked for areas of overlap in your lives that we hope will

make it easier for you to spend time together as a group. While this

is our best attempt at forming groups from this class, we freely admit

that there may be a better group fit for you than the one we have

decided upon. If there is another group that you think will be a better

long-term fit for you, please talk to us at the end of class today.

Over the next four weeks, you will sit with your group as you have fun

together, get to know each other, and learn what life as a group will

look like going forward.

Discussion: Group Introductions

Let’s start the process of getting to know each other right now:

• Introduce yourself to the group.

• Where did you grow up, and what brought you to Austin?

• What about The Austin Stone makes this church a place you

want to connect?

Activity: Telephone Pictionary

Continuing in the spirit of getting to know the members of your new

group, let’s play a game called “telephone pictionary.” Each person

will need a pen or pencil and the number of sheets of blank paper

equal to the number of people at your table. So if there are eight peo-

ple at your table, each person will need eight sheets of paper.

Assist participants to find

their assigned table with

their new community

group as they arrive. If

leaders for these groups

have been identified, ask

that these leaders arrive

early to assist in greeting

their group members.

Once all participants

have found their tables,

reintroduce yourself and

welcome everyone back to

the third week of Connect

Class.

Give groups enough time

so that every person has

an opportunity to share.

Introduction

27


Gather your papers into one stack. In a moment, I’ll instruct you all

to write down a commonly-known phrase on the top sheet of paper.

This phrase can be a favorite or least favorite cliché, a famous movie

quote, or an inspirational phrase. For example, you could write,

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” “Hold onto your hat,” “There is no

spoon,” or “Home is where the heart is.” In a moment, I’ll instruct

you to write that phrase down on the top sheet and not to look at

anyone else’s sheet. Then we will all pass the full stack of paper to

the left.

When you get your new stack of paper, you will read the phrase to

yourself, put that piece of paper on the bottom of the stack, and then

draw the phrase to the best of your ability. Don’t worry about your ar-

tistic skills—you aren’t being graded today. Once everyone is finished

with their drawings, we will again pass the paper to the left. Each

person will look at the picture, move that sheet to the bottom, and

then write the phrase they think the person was trying to draw.

We’ll continue like this, alternating drawing and writing phrases, until

the stacks of paper have made it all the way around the table. Let’s

begin!

Before we move forward, let’s take a look back at what we have cov-

ered in this class, so far. In Week One, we discussed that community

is a gift to God’s people. In Week Two, we looked at Jesus as our per-

fect example of a good friend. Over the next three weeks, we’ll look at

how this gift of community helps us do three things:

1. Know Jesus

2. Grow in Jesus


This week, we’ll discuss how community helps us know Jesus more.

Lead groups through the

rounds of the game. If

one group has signifi-

cantly fewer members

than others, staff or class

leaders can step in and

play as well so that they

are not waiting too long for

others to finish. After the

papers have made it all

the way around the tables,

give group members time

to look through at how the

phrase changed through

the game.

Introduction

28


KNOWING JESUS IS OUR GREATEST JOY

Activity: A Survey of Scriptures

• Psalm 1:1-2

• Psalm 16:11

• Psalm 37:4

• Psalm 42:1-2

• Psalm 63:1

• Matthew 13:34

• John 15:11

• Philippians 4:4

• 1 Peter 1:8

The Bible is clear that knowing Jesus is not a duty, it is a delight.

While there are many good gifts in God’s creation to take delight

in, there is no greater joy than knowing and trusting Jesus and His

commandments to us. As Paul says in Philippians 3:8, “I count

everything as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my

Lord.”

Instruct groups to look up

the passages of Scripture

on their handouts and

read them out loud. After

they read all the passages,

they will come up with a

summary sentence or two

that describes the theme

of these verses.

“There is no conflict

between your greatest

exhilaration and God’s

greatest glorification. In

fact, not only is there no

conflict between your

happiness and God’s

glory, but his glory shines

in your happiness, when

your happiness is in

him. And since God is

the source of greatest

happiness, and since he

is the greatest treasure in

the world, and since his

glory is the most satisfying

gift he could possibly

give us, therefore it is the

kindest, most loving thing

he could possibly do—to

reveal himself, and mag-

nify himself and vindicate

himself for our everlasting

enjoyment.” —John Piper

Knowing Jesus Is Our Greatest Joy

29


SELF-SUFFICIENCY KEEPS US FROM KNOWING JESUSUnfortunately, our sinful hearts struggle to believe that knowing Jesus

is our greatest joy. We like to think that we don’t need anything or

anyone else. We want to believe that we are completely self-sufficient,

and showing that we need others is akin to showing weakness.

While this spirit of self-sufficiency is especially strong in our culture

in America—where we make heroes of those like Abraham Lincoln

who achieved greatness with little to no help from others—it is a

universal trait of sinful humanity. In fact, we can trace our spirit of

independence and self-sufficiency back to our earliest ancestors,

Adam and Eve.

In the early chapters of Genesis, we learn of God creating a good and

perfect world. He created Adam and Eve and placed them in a garden

paradise where every one of their needs was provided for. They had

perfect unity with each other and with God and experienced all the

joys of knowing God that we read about in the Scriptures a few min-

utes ago. By giving them one command to not eat the fruit of the tree

of the knowledge of good and evil, God was inviting Adam and Eve

into a relationship with Him. By following this command, they would

be showing that they loved and trusted God.

And that’s when the snake came onto the scene. He tempted them

with self-sufficiency. He told them that God wasn’t trying to protect

them, but that He didn’t want Adam and Eve to become like Him.

The snake told them God was holding out on them, and that if they

really wanted to be happy then they needed to rid themselves of

their dependence on Him. They didn’t need God telling them what

was right and wrong. They would be like God and determine that for

themselves.

Adam and Eve believed the lie and took the fruit and ate.

And it broke everything.

The sin of man was not simply the act of eating an apple that God

was saving for later. It was the act of looking at God and telling Him,

“I don’t need you! I know what I need and what will make me happy

more than you ever could.” And that sin is embedded in every human

heart, including mine, and including yours.

Self-sufficiency Keeps Us From Knowing Jesus

30


Our self-sufficiency keeps us from seeking the joy that comes from

knowing God because to do so would be to admit that we need Him in

order to be happy. And so we try to find joy apart from Him. We pur-

sue earthly pleasures like food, drink, and sex. We distract ourselves

with endless Netflix queues and Twitter feeds. We pursue happiness

by seeking success in our careers or in our parenting. And while each

of those things can be enjoyable, we never find ourselves truly satis-

fied.

C.S. Lewis describes this feeling in Mere Christianity. He says, “Crea-

tures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires

exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A

duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel

sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a

desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most prob-

able explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my

earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a

fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but

only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.”

This “real thing” that we long for—that is only suggested by all the

other desires and pleasures in this world—is the joy of knowing Jesus

Christ our Lord. And to experience this joy, we have to overcome our

spirit of independence and self-sufficiency and pursue a relationship

with Jesus.

A Note for Those Who Don’t Feel Self-sufficient

Let me quickly speak to those of you who are listening to this and

thinking, I don’t struggle with self-sufficiency. I have no problem

sharing with others when I have needs. It is a good thing to not feel

the need to be completely independent and self-sufficient. Needing

others is a fact of human life, and it is good to admit this to yourself

and others. However, remember that the real sin of Adam and Eve

was not keeping their needs to themselves, but trying to meet their

own needs apart from God.

Just because a person is willing to ask for help when they need it

does not mean they don’t struggle with the type of self-sufficiency

that keeps us from God. This person is still primarily trying to meet

his or her needs through the members of their community, rather than

looking to Jesus to satisfy their desires and give them joy and satis-

faction.


31


Encourage tables to

discuss the joy of knowing

Jesus and the barrier

of self-sufficiency using

the questions below as a

guide.

How do you know if this is you? Do you tend to get offended or upset

when people can’t meet the needs you want them to meet, when you

want them met, and according to your specifications? If so, this is not

reliance on Jesus, but still a form of reliance on self.

Discussion: The Joy of Knowing Jesus and the Barrier of Self-sufficiency

• Name some experiences in your life that brought you great joy.

Where did you see God in those?

• There are seasons in life where pursuing a relationship with

Jesus can feel more like a duty than a delight. When has that

happened for you? What has helped you fight through those

seasons to regain the joy of knowing Christ?

• We know Jesus more by spending time with Him, especially

through reading the Bible and prayer. If you devote time to

these practices, what keeps you coming back? If you struggle to

find time to pursue a relationship with Jesus, what barriers are

in the way?

• How can being a part of a Christian community help you

overcome the barrier of self-sufficiency and pursue the joy of

knowing Jesus?


32


COMMUNITY COMBATS SELF-SUFFICIENCY

Illustration: Reluctance to Share a Need

A man was selling his gas oven range on Craigslist. A person respond-

ed to the ad, offering the full asking price of $100. Excited to have

some extra spending cash, the man began to disconnect the range,

but he discovered he lost his adjustable wrench and couldn’t discon-

nect the gas line without it. He hurried to the nearest Home Depot

to buy the wrench so that he could be ready when the buyer arrived.

Why is this man willing to spend $20 on a new wrench when he could

probably knock on a few doors and easily find one? His profit went

from $100 to $80 because of his need to be self-sufficient.

If we don’t want to admit that we need help in situations like the

one I just described, then we certainly don’t want to admit when we

have real problems. We often see it as a sign of weakness to share our

stress, our mistakes, or our need for advice. Sadly, this mindset has

infiltrated the church as well, and we feel like we are supposed to say

we are “blessed and highly favored,” even if we’ve had our hardest

week in recent memory. In short, our self-sufficient culture has made

it so that it’s not OK to be not OK.

Being a part of a consistent community is the best counter to the

barrier of self-sufficiency. As we spend time with others regularly,

we slowly but surely gain the trust in each other to let the facade of

perfection drop. It may start with little things, like asking for volun-

teers to help you move or asking for prayer for a sick family member.

But over time, as trust builds, the group comes to a point where

they realize that it’s OK to be not OK. Healthy communities are safe

places to share hurts, fears, and needs, and the lie that we need to be

self-sufficient gives way to the beauty of a community that cares for

one another in good times and bad.

Tell a story of a time that

you discovered a need,

and rather than asking for

help, decided to take the

harder path of meeting

the need yourself. The

purpose is to illustrate

our tendency toward

self-sufficiency with a

story and point out the

absurdity that self-suffi-

ciency sometimes leads

to. An example illustration

is provided.


33


Activity: High Point/Low Point

Romans 12:15 commands us to rejoice with those who are rejoicing

and weep with those who weep. As a way of beginning to move from

self-sufficiency to openness, take some time in your group to allow

each person to share a “high point” from your past week and a “low

point” from your past week.

• What was easier to share? A high point or a low point? Why?

• Did you feel the barrier of self-sufficiency as your turn came to

share? How did you overcome that barrier?

• Why do we often default to feeling like it’s “not OK to be not

OK,” when we all know that everyone is imperfect and needs

help, support, and prayer from a caring community?

As we find that it is “OK to be not OK” in our communities, the lie

that it’s better to be independent grows weaker and weaker. Seeing

how we benefit from knowing and trusting others breaks down the

barrier of self-sufficiency and causes us to long to know and trust

Jesus more. In addition, our communities give us a greater ability to

know God.

Our communities help us know Jesus through unique insights.

Illustration: Appreciating Art through Community

One of the greatest and most enduring cinematic experiences ever

created is the original Star Wars trilogy. Many people of all ages have

watched and enjoyed those movies. For people who love The Em-

pire Strikes Back, their joy and delight in that film is only enhanced

by discussing the movie with others who also love it. One fan who

studied film may point out how Luke’s face is half in light and half in

shadow while he struggles with the pull of the dark side. Another fan

shares how the music impacts the most emotional moments of the

film. As they discuss their favorite elements of the film, each person

grows to appreciate the work as a whole even more than they ever

could have on their own.

After all groups have had

some time to share with

each other, debrief with

them how they felt about

sharing these high points

and low points with each

other. Ask these questions

to the entire class, asking

for volunteers to raise their

hands and answer.

Tell an illustration of a

time you grew to appreci-

ate a book, movie, song,

or piece of visual art more

by discussing it with

others. Alternatively, share

the example below.


34


Describe members of your

own community to the

class, pointing out the dif-

ferent ways the men and

women in your communi-

ties display the image of

God to you. If a personal

example cannot be found,

use the text below.

If this is true for works of art made by humans, how much more true

for our infinite God! As we share what we are learning and loving

about Jesus with each other, we all grow to know and trust Him even

more. Passages of Scripture, when studied in community, come alive

with richness and depth that none of us could attain on our own.

As it says in 1 John 1:1-4, “That which was from the beginning,

which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we

looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word

of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify

to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father

and was made manifest to us—that which we have seen and heard

we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us;

and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus

Christ. 4 And we are writing these things so that our[a] joy may be

complete.”

This passage of Scripture calls us to share our knowledge of Jesus—

what we have seen and heard—with each other. And as we do that,

we grow deeper in fellowship with each other and with God. And that,

in turn, increases and completes our joy.

Our communities help us know Jesus through each other’s personalities.

In Week 1 of this class, we learned that we are all made in the image

of God. Each member of your community is made in His image, yet

each one is uniquely and wonderfully made. This means that each

person around your table was created by God to display His nature

and character in a unique way. No single person is able to fully

display God on their own. We need others to show us other aspects of

what God is like.

Illustration: Uniquely Displaying God’s Image

One member of your group may display Jesus’s leadership through

how he plans and organizes for the needs of a group member that just

had a baby. Another member may display Jesus’s compassion through

the way she listens intently and caringly to another member who has

had a tough week. Still another member may show Jesus’s kind jus-

tice as the group observes him patiently and lovingly disciplining his

son. Together, we can know much more of who Jesus is by seeing His

character through each other.


35


HOW WE PURSUE KNOWING JESUS TOGETHERWe’ll close with sharing a few practical ways that we can pursue

knowing Jesus together in our communities.

Reading the Bible

The best place start in our pursuit of knowing Jesus is through God’s

Word, the Bible. Luke 24:27 says that “beginning with Moses and

all the Prophets, [Jesus] interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the

things concerning himself.” The Bible is God’s living Word that points

us to Christ.

Our communities can aid our ability to know Jesus through reading

the Bible in two major ways. First, our communities can encourage us

to read the Bible regularly on our own. As a group of men and women

pursuing Jesus together, the question, “What have you learned from

the Bible about Jesus lately?” should become a regular rhythm. As

you hear how others are positively impacted through their study of

Scripture, you will be inspired to continue reading it for yourself.

In addition, our communities can study God’s Word together. This

may look like going through a Bible study together, or simply opening

up and reading a chapter at a time as a group. As we read the Bible

in community and share our observations together, we usually come

to greater depth of insight than we would on our own.

You’ll learn more about how The Austin Stone encourages community

groups to read and study the Bible together in a curriculum called

Community Group Primer, which we encourage you to go through as a

group together after Connect Class ends.

Prayer

One other major avenue for knowing Jesus is through spending time

in prayer. Prayer is simply the act of talking to God. One way our com-

munities help us grow in prayer is through sharing prayer requests. As

the men and women in our communities bring concerns and needs

to us and ask us to pray for them, it encourages us to spend time in

prayer to honor those requests.

“Our lives were designed

to be community projects.

Yet, the foolishness of

sin tells us that we have

all that we need within

ourselves. So we settle for

relationships that never

go beneath the casual.

We defend ourselves

when the people around

us point out a weakness

or a wrong. We hold our

struggles within, not

taking advantage of the

resources that God has

given us.” —Paul Tripp

How We Pursue Knowing Jesus Together

36


Our communities can also help us grow in prayer through the act of

praying together. As we talk to God together, we grow in unity with

each other and with Jesus. The Community Group Primer also goes

into detail on how your community group will grow in prayer together.

Discussion: Knowing Jesus Together

• Name a friend or family member who uniquely displays the

character of Jesus. In what ways does he or she help you know

Jesus more?

• In what ways, if any, do you regularly spend time getting to

know Jesus more? Reading the Bible? Praying? Something else?

• Have you been a part of a community group that read the Bible

and prayed together before? How did this community help you

know Jesus more?

CONCLUSIONOur goal for this class was to see how community helps us overcome

the barrier of self-sufficiency so that we can know Jesus more. We

believe that God gives us community to help us do three things:

1. Know Jesus

2. Grow in Jesus


Next week, we’ll focus on how community helps us grow in Jesus.

God is working in your life to make you look more like Christ, and

your community is a big part of how He does that. We hope to see you

then.

Before we dismiss today, you have one homework assignment: pull

out your calendars and find a time in the next month for your new

community group to get together for a meal.

Let me pray for us, and then you can begin planning your meal to-

gether before you leave.

Invite groups to discuss

how our communities

can help us know Jesus

more using the following

questions as a guide:

Pray, thanking God for

giving us community

to help us know Jesus

more. Praise Him for His

sovereignty in bringing

together these groups at

this specific time to expe-

rience biblical community

together. Ask Him to help

these groups pursue unity

in Christ and help each

other know Jesus more

fully.

Conclusion

37


• Participants will know several ways that self-righteousness keeps us from

growing in Jesus.

• Participants will know that spiritual growth happens through a change in

heart, not through a change in behavior.

• Week 4 Student worksheets, one per person

• Participants will feel that it’s OK to be not OK, but it’s not OK to stay there.

• Participants will desire a community where confession and repentance can

happen, free of fear of judgment.

• Participants will practice pointing others to Jesus in various scenarios.

• Participants will make plans to gather as a community over a meal, if they

have not done so yet.

Genesis 3:6-13, 1 John 5:7-9

Community helps us overcome the barrier of self-

righteousness so that we can grow in Jesus.

• Pens or pencils, one per person

• Blank sheet of paper, one per table

• Table assignments—either posted as people enter the room or a list of

names on each table

KNOW

FEEL

DO

PRINT

SCRIPTURE

MAIN POINT

PROVIDE

OBJECTIVES

CLASS PREP

CONNECT CLASS: WEEK FOURCommunity Helps Us Grow in Jesus

38


INTRODUCTIONThis is the second week where participants will have assigned tables

with their new community groups. Participants that missed the last

week of class will need assistance in finding their assigned tables. If

leaders for these groups have been identified, ask that these leaders

arrive early to assist in greeting their group members. Once all par-

ticipants are seated at their tables, reintroduce yourself and welcome

everyone back to the fourth week of Connect Class.

As we say each week, our goal in this class is for you to more deeply

love and more closely follow Jesus by helping you connect to a small-

er group of believers from our church family. Our hope and prayer is

that God will use the rest of this time in Connect Class to form new

community groups out of the people seated with you at your table,

and that over time He will use these men and women to help you

know Jesus, grow in Jesus, and show Jesus to the world.

Activity: Seven Things in Common

There are few better ways to help people bond than through some

friendly competition. This is a quick and easy game that will help you

get to know the people in your group while competing against others.

When I say “go,” your group will work together to find and write down

seven characteristics that your entire group has in common. In order

to make it a little harder, these characteristics cannot be true of ev-

eryone in the room. For instance, you could not put down that every-

one in your group lives in Texas, because that is also true of everyone

in the room. The goal is to find commonalities among your group that

are somewhat unique to your table.

The first group to get seven characteristics, wins! Everyone ready? Go!

I hope you all enjoyed learning about each other through this game.

Before we move on to today’s content, we’ll briefly review what we’ve

learned so far. Three weeks ago, we learned that community is a gift

to God’s people. Two weeks ago, we looked at Jesus as our perfect

example of a good friend. And last week, we looked at ways that com-

munity helps us know Jesus more.

This week, we’ll look at how community helps us grow in Jesus.

When one group signals

that they have written

down seven characteris-

tics, have one represen-

tative stand up and share

their list. Verify that these

characteristics are shared

among all members of

their table, but are not

shared with everyone in

the class. Have the class

give the winning group a

hand.

?????????????

39


Lead participants to

take turns sharing

three statements about

themselves in high school

with the other people

in their groups. Two of

the statements should

be true, and one of the

statements should be a

lie. The rest of the group

members should vote on

which of the statements

they believe is a lie. After

the person sharing reveals

which statement is a lie,

another person shares

three statements. After a

few people at each tables

have had a turn to share

two truths and a lie, con-

tinue with the lesson.

Encourage tables to dis-

cuss why growth in Jesus

is something to be de-

sired, using the questions

below as a guide.

GROWTH IS GOODWe all know that growth is a good thing, in general. To illustrate that

point, let’s look back at our lives in high school for a moment.

Activity: Two Truths and a Lie, High School Edition

How did you all feel about looking back at yourselves at high school?

Maybe some you see your high school years as your glory days, but

many of us look back at those four years with a more than a twinge

of embarrassment. There are things we are proud of from those years,

but also things that we are glad we grew out of. Growth is good. If we

had not grown in maturity from our high school years, it would be a

great tragedy.

The same is true with our spiritual lives. While we said last week

that our groups should be a place where we feel that it’s “OK to be

not OK,” our groups should also press us on to be more of the men

and women God is calling us to be. No matter how mature we are in

Christ, not one of us is perfect. We all can grow in our character and

Christlikeness. While none of us will be completely without sin until

the new Heaven and new earth, we can gain victory over specific sins

and grow to become more Christlike over time. To be stagnant in our

walk with Jesus is a great loss. In other words, it’s OK to be not OK,

but it’s not OK to stay there.

Discussion: Why It’s Good to Pursue Growth

• There is a common aphorism that states, “If you’re not growing,

you’re dying.” Do you agree with or disagree with this state-

ment? Why?

• Name someone whose character you admire and share why you

admire him or her. Do you think this person has always had the

character you observe now—that they were born that way? If

not, how do you think this person grew to become the person

you now admire?

• What would you say to a person who says they feel like they are

“pretty good” as they are?

40


“Why don’t we celebrate

grace more? Why aren’t

we more amazed by the

wonderful gifts that are

ours as the children of

God? Why don’t we live

with a deep sense of

need, coupled with a deep

sense of gratitude for how

each need has been met

by God’s grace? Well, the

answer is clear. You’ll

never celebrate grace

as much as you should

when you think you’re

more righteous than you

actually are.”

—Paul Tripp

Ask for a volunteer to read

Genesis 3:6-13 out loud.

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS KEEPS US FROM GROWING IN JESUSWe all know that we have sin in our lives (Romans 3:23). We all know

that we do not have perfect character or perfectly show the fruits of

the Spirit. So what keeps us from turning away from sin and turning

to Jesus to become more like Him?

Our self-righteousness is a major barrier that keeps us from growing

in Jesus. While we know that we have sin, we don’t want to admit it

to others, or even to ourselves. Our sinful, prideful hearts want to be-

lieve that we’re not really that bad, and that if we work hard enough,

we can be the good, loving, caring, righteous people that we want

to be. Because of self-righteousness, we don’t freely admit that we

need to grow and humbly seek the help of Jesus and others to grow

in Jesus. Rather, we hide our sin, blame others for our sin, and try to

solve our own sin problem. We seek to trick others into believing that

we are righteous, while privately working to achieve that righteousness

ourselves.

We can see this self-righteous behavior from the very first man and

woman and the very first sin. Last week, we discussed how Adam and

Eve disobeyed God and ate the forbidden fruit because they wanted

to be self-sufficient. Let’s see what happens directly after this first sin

by reading Genesis 3:6-13 together.

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it

was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make

one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her

husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were

opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig

leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the

sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day,

and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the

LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called

to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard

the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked,

and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have

you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man

said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of

the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is

this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me,

and I ate.” (Genesis 3:6-13 ESV)

41


After they sinned, Adam and Eve immediately knew that what they

had done was wrong and wanted to go back to the way things were.

Rather than going to God for help, they tried to remove their sin and

pursue their own righteousness in three different ways: they hid their

sin, blamed others for their sin, and tried to fix their problem them-

selves.

Hiding Sin

In verse ten, we see Adam admit that he is hiding from God because

of his sin. Even though he probably knows it is futilve, he does what

he can to keep God from knowing that he is a sinner. We pursue

self-righteousness in the same way. We keep our sin and our weak-

nesses hidden away, hoping that no one will know that we are not

righteous. We even try to hide our sin from ourselves by pretending

that our sin is not that bad and by stuffing down our emotions and our

guilt over our sin.

What sin or shortcoming do you hide from others? What sprung to

your mind just now when I asked that question? What are you living

with right now that you hope no one will ever know about and you

don’t fully admit to yourself is a real problem that needs to be dealt

with? Just as hiding from God didn’t solve Adam and Eve’s sin prob-

lem, we can’t make ourselves righteous by hiding our sin.

Blaming Others for Our Sin

Once it is clear that Adam and Eve can no longer hide their sin, they

try a different strategy of pursuing self-righteousness. When God asks

Adam if he ate the fruit, Adam answers a different question. Instead

of simply admitting his sin, Adam points the finger at Eve. It is as if

he is saying, “Sure, I ate the fruit, but look at Eve. She ate the fruit,

too, and she also was the one who gave it to me. Don’t look at me.

Look at her!” Eve does the same thing when God asks her about her

sin. She points to the serpent who deceived her rather than admitting

that she knew what God had said and deliberately disobeyed Him.

Blaming others is a common strategy that we use to make ourselves

righteous in our own eyes. A child blames his brother for starting the

fight. The workaholic father who knows he should spend more time

with his family blames his work or his boss rather than admitting his

42


“The human heart’s de-

fault mode is self-justifica-

tion – a desire to put forth

our own righteousness

in order to maintain our

standing before God and

others.”

—Trevin Wax

role in determining his schedule. The woman who lies on her expense

report blames her company for not giving her enough money each day

for meals. The man who is constantly angry at his upstairs neighbor

blames them for walking too heavily.

These are just a few examples of how it is human nature to deflect

responsibility for sin. Even when we admit that we have done wrong,

we refuse to own our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

How did you respond the last time you were confronted with your own

sin? Did you take responsibility for what you did? Or did you defend

your own righteousness by casting blame on others? Pointing the

finger at others does not make our own sinful thoughts, feelings, and

behavior any more righteous.

Fixing the Problem Ourselves

When Adam and Eve felt shame for their sin, they responded by

trying to take care of the problem themselves. They sewed fig leaves

together to try to cover their nakedness, hoping that doing so would

somehow also cover their sin. We should not be too quick to judge

Adam and Eve for being foolish in this because we often follow their

example, working to fix our sinful behavior in our own power.

The man who wants to be more loving toward his family by spending

more time with them first focuses on his schedule. The woman who

wants to be more generous to those in need first looks at her budget.

While these steps of looking at your schedule or your budget may be

essential parts of growing to look more like Jesus, if we only change

our behavior, the change will never last. It’s like New Year’s Resolu-

tions: the change may have some positive benefit in the short term,

but over the long term, not much changes.

In Luke 6, Jesus gives the following illustration:

For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good

fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered

from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The

good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and

the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the

abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:44-45 ESV)

43


Tell a story from your own

life where you attempted

to become more Christlike

through behavior modi-

fication, only to find that

heart change was needed.

Alternatively, share the

illustration below.

We expect the fruit of a tree to reflect the type of tree that was plant-

ed. We would not expect to find apples growing on a pecan tree or figs

on a rose bush. The roots of the tree determine the fruit it produces.

Jesus says that we are the same. The type of fruit that comes out of

our lives is determined by our hearts. To try to replace sinful behav-

ior with good behavior without addressing our hearts is like stapling

apples to a pecan tree.

Illustration: Apple Stapling

Parents know all too well how a change in behavior does not make a

person more like Jesus. After a fight between siblings is broken up

and the parent has established who did what to whom, and why, the

conversation moves to reconciliation. The parent asks each child to

apologize to the other one. Each child says, “Sorry,” in the least con-

vincing way possible. Everyone knows that neither child is really sorry,

but what is a parent to do? He or she can ask the child to say more

words, such as, “I’m sorry that I hit you because you took my toy,”

or “I’m sorry for being so angry that I hit you,” but no matter what

the parent asks the child to say, the parent cannot make the child

feel sorrow and repentance. The child is no more Christlike for saying

those words, and the parent can do nothing to change that. Only a

heart change that comes through the gospel can make that child truly

sorry.

When was the last time you knew that your thoughts, feelings, or

behavior needed to change to be more like Jesus? How did you pursue

that change? Did you address the desires in your heart that created

that behavior, or did you pursue righteousness on your own? Just like

Adam and Eve’s fig leaves could not make them righteous, we cannot

cover our sin through behavioral change.

A Note for Those Who Don’t Feel Self-righteous

Some of you may not feel that this applies to you because you do not

feel that you are self-righteous in the way we have talked about. You

may actually struggle not with self-righteousness, but self-loathing.

44


Encourage tables to share

how our self-righteousness

keeps us from growth

using the questions below

as a guide.

The root problem of both the self-righteous and the self-loathing

is the same: an attempt to fix their sin problem on their own. The

self-righteous try to rid themselves of sin through hiding, blaming,

or fixing. The self-loathing have tried to rid themselves of sin, and

because they have failed time and time again, they feel a sense of de-

spair and shame. Both types of people are too focused on themselves

and need to look to Jesus instead, who gives us His righteousness and

is the only one who can truly help us solve our sin problem.

Discussion: Hiding, Blaming, and Fixing

• Do you tend more toward hiding your sin, blaming others for

your sin, or trying to fix your sinful behavior on your own?

• Why are these strategies of trying to become righteous on our

own doomed to fail?

• Since we cannot fix our sinful behavior on our own, does that

mean we do not need to try to act more like Jesus? Why or why

not?

45


COMMUNITY HELPS US OVERCOME SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS AND GROW IN JESUSSo far today, we’ve discussed how it is good to want to become more

like Jesus and to show more of the fruit of the Spirit, as well as how

we cannot grow to become more righteous on our own through hiding

our sin, blaming others for our sin, or trying to fix our sin on our own.

So how can we grow in Jesus? Our communities help us grow in Jesus

by being safe places for us to turn away from sin and turn toward

Jesus through confession and repentance.

The Bible often talks of the benefits of honest confession and ac-

countability. Here are a few examples:

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a

friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy (Proverbs 27:5-6 ESV).

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another,

that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great

power as it is working (James 5:16-17 ESV).

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship

with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all

sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is

not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us

our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 5:7-9 ESV).

In the last Scripture from 1 John 5, we see how walking in the

light—which means being open about our sin with others—enriches

our relationships with each other and with Jesus. That doesn’t mean

we should all confess our deepest darkest sins with every Christian

we see. The nearest greeting team member is probably not the best

person to confess your sins to. However, our smaller community

groups can be the ideal place to walk in the light with our brothers

and sisters.

Request three volunteers

to read the following

Scriptures to the entire

class.

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“To love at all is to be

vulnerable. Love anything

and your heart will be

wrung and possibly

broken. If you want to

make sure of keeping it

intact you must give it

to no one, not even an

animal. Wrap it carefully

round with hobbies and

little luxuries; avoid all

entanglements. Lock it

up safe in the casket or

coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket, safe,

dark, motionless, airless,

it will change. It will not

be broken; it will become

unbreakable, impene-

trable, irredeemable. To

love is to be vulnerable.”

—C.S. Lewis

Community Groups Are Safe Places to Walk in the Light

There are three primary reasons that a small group of believers who

regularly meet together is a place you can feel safe to confess sin:

Community Groups Are Full of Broken People

As you spend time with your community groups and deepen your re-

lationships with each other, you will truly understand that no one has

it all together. As we said last week, the idea that it’s “OK to be not

OK” will become more and more real as you live life alongside each

other. Each member will feel more comfortable sharing weaknesses

and being vulnerable with each other as time goes on.

Community Groups Remind Us of the Truth

As the community group matures, each member feels more and more

like they are part of a family and that we are brothers and sisters in

Christ. Our community group members remind us that we are made

righteous in Christ. God sees each Christian as righteous, not because

anything you did or did not do. Every member of your community

group that is in Christ is an adopted son or daughter of God, and He

is pleased with each one. We can remind each other that He is not

pleased with us because we lie less than someone else, or because

we read our Bibles today, or because we haven’t looked at pornogra-

phy for the last two years. He loves us and is pleased with us because

He has chosen us and made us righteous through the blood of Christ.

Community Group Members Help Each Other in Weakness

Each community group member brings his or her strengths and

weaknesses to the group. Because of the goodness of God, not every

member will have the same strengths or the same weaknesses. In our

communities, we can look at the brothers and sisters around us and

learn from them in areas that we are weak. We can also be gracious

as we see the weaknesses of others because we know none of us are

perfect. And where we are strong, we can be patient and loving as

we help one another because we know that any good thing we have

comes only from the grace of God.

47


Overcoming the Barrier of Self-righteousness

We have seen that community groups are good, safe places to confess

and repent. In addition, our community groups can help us overcome

the three ways discussed earlier that self-righteousness keeps us from

growing.

When a person enters into a biblical community, he or she is essen-

tially saying, “I am giving you access to the real me, and I want you

to help me grow, even if it is hard for me to hear.” While this is a

scary statement to make, it is the best way to stop hiding, blaming,

and striving to fix your own sin. It is the best way out of self-loathing.

It is the best way to pursue walking in the light, as we read earlier in

1 John 5.

The members of our communities help us turn away from sin, con-

fessing it without hiding or blaming others. They also help us turn to

Jesus. As we discussed earlier, changing our sinful behavior does not

truly rid us of our sin. We must have a change of heart. Rather than

wanting whatever object of our desire caused us to sin in the first

place, we must want to please and honor Jesus above all else because

of who He is and what He has done for us.

Activity: Looking to Jesus

Our community groups are a great help in seeing what sinful desires

cause our sinful behavior while pointing us to please and honor Jesus

instead. Let’s spend some time practicing doing this together so

you know what this will look like in your groups. The charts on your

worksheets have three columns. The first column contains a sinful

behavior that a group member may be struggling with. The second

column will be filled in with the sinful desires that may be ruling the

heart of that group member. The third column will be filled in with

how the person can instead look to Jesus to have that desire met.

Let’s practice together.

The student worksheets

will have blanks in the

second and third columns

of the chart below. Lead

the entire class through

the first two rows to help

them understand how

the activity should be

completed, and then ask

groups to work together to

complete the rest of the

chart.

48


Overwhelming fear and anxiety about family members getting sick, resulting in extreme germophobia

Extravagant spending on al-most every desire, resulting in an unwillingness to give to the church or to others in need

Angry discipline of children when they continue to get out of bed, over and over, after bedtime

A person’s countenance and emotions go up and down with their social media interactions

Spending eighty or more hours at work, leaving little to no time for friends and family

To be in control of every aspect of their family members’ days

1. To be happy and comfortable by buying everything that they want

2. To keep all their money for themselves

For their children to be perfect and for their evening to be uninterrupted after their kids go to bed

To be affirmed and approved of by their followers on social media

1. To perform well at work

2. For supervisors at work to think well of them, or to not let their supervisors down

Jesus is good and powerful. He is in control and can be trust-ed. Even if someone gets sick, God will give me grace for that moment.

1. Knowing Jesus is the greatest pleasure in life. True happiness cannot be bought.

2. Jesus freely gave everything for us. He left the riches of heaven to come to earth and gave all He had, even His own life, to those in need.

Jesus is loving and patient with us, even when we commit the same sin, over and over. We can show the same pa-tience and love to our kids.

Jesus is well pleased in us, not because of what we do or don’t do, but because of His great mercy and grace.

1. Jesus is the only person who completely and perfectly finished the work He was given to do. We are free to work hard without needing to work perfectly.

2. Jesus loves and values each of His children not because of their performance, but because of His own work on the cross.

Sinful Behavior Sinful Desires Sinful Desires

As you can see from this activity, helping community members turn

away from sin and turn to Jesus is an art, not a science. There is no

one right thing to say in every situation, and in a real-life scenario,

you will want to do a lot of listening and understanding first before

pointing a friend to Jesus. However, the goal should always be to help

your community members see the root of their sinful behavior and

direct them to Jesus who is the only one who can change their hearts.

After groups have had

some time to attempt to

fill out the chart, walk

through each example

together. Note that there

may be other correct an-

swers than the ones given

in this Leader Guide.

49


Pray, thanking Jesus for

the gift of community

to help us overcome

self-righteousness and

grow in Jesus. Ask Him to

build deep relationships

between the members of

each group so that the

practices of confession

and repentance can hap-

pen easily and naturally.

Ask Him to help us all

grow to look more like

Him through His Spirit.

CONCLUSIONToday, we looked at how our community groups can help us grow in

Jesus through overcoming the barrier of self-righteousness. We saw

that Scripture points us to confession and repentance as the way to

grow, and we discussed how our communities are good and safe plac-

es for these practices. Finally, we spent some time practicing how we

can listen to our community group members and point them to Jesus.

Even though we spent time today talking about the benefits of con-

fessing sin with your community group members, we aren’t asking

you to go and do that just yet. We know that your groups are still in

the early stages of getting to know each other, and confession and re-

pentance is best practiced in groups where there is established trust

and understanding. When your group walks through our Community

Group Primer, you’ll learn about a recommended practice called Life

Transformation Groups, or LTG’s. LTG’s are small “sub-groups” of your

community groups, made up of two or three men or two or three wom-

en. These sub-groups are the primary place that you will experience

confession and repentance within your community groups, though it

may extend beyond that as well.

For now, your goal is to continue to get to know each other better in

the hopes that one day soon your group will mature to the point where

confession and repentance can be easily practiced. We mentioned

last week that we would love for your groups to gather together at

least once over a meal outside of this class time before the class is

over. If you haven’t made plans yet, make sure to do so today!

Now that we’ve covered how community groups help us know Jesus

and grow in Jesus, we’ll focus on how they help us show Jesus to the

world next week. We hope you’ll join us!

Let’s pray, and then you’ll be dismissed.

Documents

CONNECT LEADER GUIDE - Amazon S3 · Activity: Bible Rebus Let’s start with a little competition to break the ice. Under one chair at each table is a worksheet that contains 51 rebus