Congratulations Graduate

7/27/2019 Congratulations Graduate

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CONGRATULATIONS

GRADUATE!Eleven Reasons Why I Will Never Hire You.


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THE

REALWORLD

AWAITS.


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Never mind the color of yourparachute, some of you have

NO PARACHUTES AT ALL.


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AND THAT CAN LEAD

TO A HARD LANDING.


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Employersknow that

not all gradsare created

equal.


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More often though, we dont.


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E A E


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You are justnot the right fit.


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A more impressive candidate

captured our attention


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IMPLY AICTIM OF

OME OTHERRANDOM

EVENT OUTOF YOUR

I didnt postthat picture.


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why?


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Is it you?


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Whatever the reason,

there are consistent

themes as to why you

didnt get the job.


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This wont be the first time youve heard

these and it wont be the last, but as your

class flourishes shiny new resumes in front

of prospective employers, here are the top

reasons why I will never hire you.


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I appreciate your desire to

showcase yourclasswork,high schoolaccomplishments,extracurricularendeavors and yourthree marketing

projects.


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But I needto see clarity and definition in what you present.


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Make it RELEVANT, make it CONCISE, make it FOCUSED.


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AN

OVERLYLONGRESUME

DOES NOTIMPRESS

ME


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(Aridiculously shortresume is equallydangerous. Did you do anything besides attend class?)


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YOUDIDNTPREPARE FOR OUR INTERVIEW.


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Youre probably a better

internet surfer than I am, so

why didnt you spend a few

minutesgathering intelligenceabout me or my business?


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Youdidntlook

atmywe

bsite.

Youfailed

tocheck

meouto

n

LinkedInorTw

itter.

Youdidn

tlearnm

ypetpee

ves:

makeeyecontac

t;learnto

hold

aconver

sation;givet

houghtful

answerst

odifficult

questions.

XXX


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(IM NOT ALWAYSCONCERNED WITHYOUR ACTUAL

ANSWER BUTRATHER YOURCOMPOSUREAND THINKING

PROCESS WHENANSWERING IT).


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Q

UESTIO

NS

3.


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LOOK UP QUESTIONS TO ASK ONLINE.

Find 30 questions

NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME.

questions grads should ask in an interview


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SHOW MEHOW YOUGATHERINFORMATION.


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Do you want me to think

Im going to have to

do the work for you,

or that youll show up

prepared every day?


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YOU WROTE ATHANK YOU NOTE,and only used it to thank me.


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I ALSO ENJOYED OURTIME TOGETHER,SO INSTEADOF JUSTTHANKING ME,

ADD VALUE.


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USEYOURNOTE(email ornote/card are all fine

nothing is not)TO SHOW YOURPASSION FOR

THIS JOB.


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Reflect upon

what you

learned

in the interview.


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YOUDRESSEDFOR

FAILURE


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MY WORKPLACEIS CASUAL,at least most of the time.

Many offices arethese days.


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But you should not be for an interview.

g


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Jeans,c

hinos

,t-shirt

s,sundresses

and

oth

erc

lothi

ng

youmay

wear

toaweeke

ndcook

out

or

an

ight

clu

b

(eve

nani

ceon

e)wont

cut

it.


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I want to know what youll look like when I take you to see a client.


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Show me that you understand this.


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BUT WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT,

YOURE BASICALLY SAYING,PLEASE INVEST LOADS OFTIME AND MONEY INTO ME,

AND MAYBE IT WILL HELPME FIGURE OUT THAT I WANT

TO DO SOMETHING ELSE me

rk fe


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Convinc

eme

thatyouv

ewanted

towork

here

yourw

holelife

.


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YOUR FOLLOW-UPNOTE SHOULDHAMMER THE

POINT HOME.


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Because Im notreally into candidates

who wont throwthemselves 100%into the opportunity

at hand.


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I DONT EXPECT


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I DONT EXPECTYOU TO BE AN

EXPERT INANYTHING

JUST GETTINGOUT OFSCHOOL, BUT

YOUR RESUMECLAIMS SOCIAL

MEDIAEXPERTISE.


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Dumb Tweeter@dumbtweeter

Your eight tweets in the last six monthsare not signs of immersion. (And yourregular use of #fuckinA isnt eective.)


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Spelling Tumblr

with an esays something but not the

right thing.


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Dabble in social while at school for sure.

T ll


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Tell me

you haveexposure

to socialnetworks.


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t


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YOUDID

NT

PROOFR

EAD

.

D

idnt


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YOU DONTHAVE A LINKEDIN PROFILE


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LINKEDIN IS THE PLACE TOSHOWCASEYOUR PROFESSIONAL

SKILLS, EVEN IF THEY

ARE NASCENT


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SETITUP

RIGHT

(therearelo

tsoftipson

line

tohelp)

andgiveits

omelove.


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(ortwoorthree).

DOANINT

ERNS

HIP


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WHILE THIS IS MORE FOR THOSE

STILL IN SCHOOL THAN THOSE

JUST OUT, NOTHING MAKES YOU

MORE ATTRACTIVE TO ME THAN

KNOWING YOUVE BEEN EXPOSED

TO A SIMILAR WORK ENVIRONMENT.


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Internships also help you decide if my job represents

the right structurefor you saving us both time and agony

if it turns out you just dont like what we do.


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I get50-100 resumeseach

semester from new graduates.

Those with internships sit well

ahead of those without.

YPR


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YO

ULAC

KE

D

ROF

ESSION

ALCO

URTES

Y!


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You wereTWO MINUTES LATE.


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You LOOKED AWAYwhen you shook my hand


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I INTRODUCEDYOU TO MY

COLLEAGUEAND YOU DIDNT

EVEN ASK HERWHAT SHE DOES.


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WHY?

WHY WOULD I WANT

TO EXPOSE YOU

TO MY CLIENTS?


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YOU AND YOUR

FAMILY HAVE INVESTED

VAST AMOUNTS OFTIME ANDMONEY INTO

GETTINGYOUR DIPLOMA.


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ITS A SMALL BIT OF EXTRA EFFORT TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT RUIN YOUR CHANCES IN THE INTERVIEW.


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I WILL HIRE SOMEONE I JUST WONT HIRE YOU.


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Mark OToole is managing director of PR & content at HB agency, a B2B marketing and communications firm

with global clients in clean tech, medical tech and high tech. Despite the very true observations in the article

above, Mark has hired countless talented PR pros over the last 15 years. Reach Mark at motoole@hbagency

or on Twitter @markrotoole.

Design and layout courtesy of HBs Matt Gustavsen & Christine Tesseo.
https://twitter.com/markrotoolehttps://twitter.com/markrotoolehttps://twitter.com/markrotoole

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Congratulations Graduate