Conflict Resolution Centralia College Core Training Series

Conflict ResolutionConflict Resolution

Centralia College Centralia College

Core Training SeriesCore Training Series

Part IPart I

Handling Your Own ConflictsHandling Your Own Conflicts

Conflict isConflict is … …

……and and alwaysalways will be will be..

Conflict can be an opportunity for Conflict can be an opportunity for improvement or an opportunity for improvement or an opportunity for

an ulcer depending on how we an ulcer depending on how we respond to it.respond to it.

Violence and physical force are not the Violence and physical force are not the answers to conflict.answers to conflict.

And yelling and screaming only make And yelling and screaming only make you look silly.you look silly.

Two Guiding Principles for Two Guiding Principles for Conflict ResolutionConflict Resolution..

• Seek first to understand, then be Seek first to understand, then be understood; and,understood; and,

• Think “win-win.”Think “win-win.”

• When conflict is really bad what does When conflict is really bad what does it look like?it look like?

• What are the sources of this “bad” What are the sources of this “bad” kind of conflict?kind of conflict?

• When conflict is good what does it When conflict is good what does it look like?look like?

Elements of Good Elements of Good

Conflict ManagementConflict Management

• 1.1. Understanding how we Understanding how we communicate.communicate.

• 2.2. Understanding where bad Understanding where bad behavior comes from.behavior comes from.

• 3.3. Understanding the “root ball”.Understanding the “root ball”.

• 4. Understanding how others 4. Understanding how others communicate (Understanding the communicate (Understanding the differences in style - Quadrant differences in style - Quadrant Theory)Theory)

• 5.5. Understanding your role in Understanding your role in conflict.conflict.

Bailey’s 11 Tips for Resolving Bailey’s 11 Tips for Resolving Conflicts and Avoiding Ulcers.Conflicts and Avoiding Ulcers.

(Counts for 1 Mental Health Credit)(Counts for 1 Mental Health Credit)

Conflict Resolution Tip #1Conflict Resolution Tip #1

People respond differently to People respond differently to conflict.conflict.

Test!Test!

What’s your conflict style?What’s your conflict style?

Avoider?Avoider?

Compromiser?Compromiser?

Accommodator?Accommodator?

Collaborator?Collaborator?

Competer?Competer?


S l o w D o w n !S l o w D o w n !


Remove the person from the Remove the person from the issue.issue.


Keep anger and inflammatory Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it.language out of it.



Defuse! Cool Down! Reframe!Defuse! Cool Down! Reframe!




You can disagree without being You can disagree without being disagreeable.disagreeable.




You can disagree without being You can disagree without being disagreeable.disagreeable.

Don’t react to anger.Don’t react to anger.


Learn to (really) listen.Learn to (really) listen.


Learn to (really) listen.Learn to (really) listen.

Don’t interruptDon’t interruptDon’t prepare for our next speechDon’t prepare for our next speech

AcknowledgeAcknowledgeReframe and reflectReframe and reflect

State the other’s interests out loudState the other’s interests out loudRemember body languageRemember body language


Get to “interests” not just Get to “interests” not just “issues.”“issues.”


Admit when you’re wrong.Admit when you’re wrong.


Don’t be afraid to “test.”Don’t be afraid to “test.”


Bargain in good faith.Bargain in good faith.


Think “win-win.”Think “win-win.”


Reach Reach truetrue agreements. agreements.

Part IIPart II

Mediating the Conflicts of OthersMediating the Conflicts of Others

Most of the same rules apply!Most of the same rules apply!

Mediating the Conflicts of Mediating the Conflicts of OthersOthers

1)1) Consider the conflict styles of the Consider the conflict styles of the participantsparticipants


1)1) Consider the conflict styles of the Consider the conflict styles of the participants;participants;

2)2) Slow it downSlow it down



2)2) Slow it down;Slow it down;

3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory Keep anger and inflammatory language out of itlanguage out of it




3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it;language out of it;

4)4) Teach the parties how to listenTeach the parties how to listen




3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it;language out of it;

4)4) Teach the parties how to listen;Teach the parties how to listen;

5)5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues”Get to “interests,” not just “issues”



2)2) Slow it down;Slow it down;3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory Keep anger and inflammatory

language out of it;language out of it;4)4) Teach the parties how to listen;Teach the parties how to listen;5)5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”6)6) Don’t be afraid to testDon’t be afraid to test




3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it;of it;

4)4) Teach the parties how to listen;Teach the parties how to listen;

5)5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”

6)6) Don’t be afraid to test;Don’t be afraid to test;

7)7) Require the parties to bargain in good faithRequire the parties to bargain in good faith

Mediating the Conflicts of Mediating the Conflicts of OthersOthers1)1) Consider the conflict styles of the Consider the conflict styles of the

participants;participants;2)2) Slow it down;Slow it down;3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out Keep anger and inflammatory language out

of it;of it;4)4) Teach the parties how to listen;Teach the parties how to listen;5)5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”6)6) Don’t be afraid to test;Don’t be afraid to test;7)7) Require the parties to bargain in good faith;Require the parties to bargain in good faith;8)8) Think “win-win”Think “win-win”

Mediating the Conflicts of Mediating the Conflicts of OthersOthers1)1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants;Consider the conflict styles of the participants;2)2) Slow it down;Slow it down;3)3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of Keep anger and inflammatory language out of

it;it;4)4) Teach the parties how to listen;Teach the parties how to listen;5)5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”Get to “interests,” not just “issues;”6)6) Don’t be afraid to test;Don’t be afraid to test;7)7) Require the parties to bargain in good faith;Require the parties to bargain in good faith;8)8) Think “win-win;Think “win-win;9)9) Reach true agreementsReach true agreements

Reaching a “True” AgreementReaching a “True” Agreement

Some additional concerns:Some additional concerns:

1)1) The need for impartiality;The need for impartiality;

2)2) Power imbalances must be addressed;Power imbalances must be addressed;

3)3) All issues and interests of the participants All issues and interests of the participants must be expressed and acknowledged;must be expressed and acknowledged;

4)4) The role of the mediator must be The role of the mediator must be understood.understood.

Reaching a “True” AgreementReaching a “True” Agreement

The Role of the Mediator:The Role of the Mediator:

1)1) Keep the negotiation moving forward;Keep the negotiation moving forward;

2)2) Keep the negotiation civil;Keep the negotiation civil;

3)3) STAY OUT OF IT—Give it to the STAY OUT OF IT—Give it to the disputants.disputants.

Now go out and solve the Now go out and solve the world’s problems!world’s problems!

Documents

Conflict Resolution Centralia College Core Training Series