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Ethically Speaking
Randy HauptHaupt Associates835 Walnut Spring LaneState College, PA 16801 USATel: +1 (814) 867-0633Email: [email protected]
Confidence versus Arrogance
A few years ago, I had an interesting verbal exchange with myoldest daughter. She made a condescending comment about
someone (I don't remember what), to which I responded, "You arearrogant." She was genuinely insulted by my comment. In the following conversation/debate, she said to me "You are the one whois arrogant." I, like her, was insulted. Since that cherished familymoment, I have been thinking/rationalizing about my arrogance, or,hopefully, lack thereof. I don't consider arrogance a trait to strivefor, but am I guilty of it? It was time for some self-psychoanalysisby an engineer: observe, collect data, compare with theory, then fixit (or at least manipulate the data I obtained to prove that I am notarrogant). It's so easy that all psychologists should be engineers.
Let's start out by looking at the meaning of the two words.Confidence has a positive connotation, while arrogance has anegative connotation. People who are confident are certain abouttheir ability and have faith in themselves. It is a personal thing thatdoes not make any inferences about other people. On the otherhand, people who are arrogant feel superior and are overbearingand presumptuous. Arrogance demands respect from others, whileconfidence is quiet. Arrogant people are covering up their feelingsof inadequacy. We call arrogant people snobs, overly proud, overbearing, condescending, and haughty. We may even say they havesuperbia and hubris, if we know what those words mean.
My favorite movie of all time is Chariots of Fire. It is amostly true story based on two British athletes, Harold Abrahamsand Eric Liddell ("The Flying Scotsman"), who ran events in the1924 Olympics. It is also an excellent comparison of two people:one arrogant and one confident. Harold was very insecure andarrogant. He constantly had to prove himself and be the center ofattention. He was never satisfied, and would do nearly anything towin and be the best. In their only competition, Liddell blewAbrahams away in the 200 m race. Eric had the quiet confidencethat resulted in a much more humble appearance. Both becametremendous runners, and both won gold medals in 1924 (in different events). I had the honor of visiting the University of Edinburgh,where Liddell's gold medal is on display. His quiet confidence,coupled with his exceptional life is very inspiring to me.
Some differences between arrogance and confidence include(http://www.communicationconfidence.com/confidence-vsarrogance.html):
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1. Confident people know their strengths and weaknesses.An arrogant person usually doesn't acknowledge weakness, and concentrates on strengths.
2. Arrogant people need to compensate for areas of weakness. They often ignore weakness, so they can pretendthat it does not exist. Confident people find the root oftheir confidence in self acceptance, and they recognizetheir weaknesses or faults, even though they may notlike them. This acceptance allows the confident personto gracefully deal with faults.
3. An arrogant person brags, and dominates other people.A confident person acknowledges that other people willhave strengths and weaknesses, too. Confident peopledon't need to make life a competition, so they tend to bemore enjoyable to be around. They also have the confidence to build up other people. An arrog(\llt person iscocky and difficult to reason with.
4. Body language is different between arrogant and confident people. A confident person has an open and easyposture that is inviting to others. An arrogant personappears more aggressive and harder to approach.
I'll close with two quotes about confidence and arrogancefrom Mark Twain:
"To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance andconfidence."
"The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation,arrogance, tyranny."
Yes, I am still writing this column, even though I threatenedto quit last year. I have three reasons for continuing:
1. Nobody volunteered to take over.
IEEE Antennas and Propagation Magazine, Vol. 51, No.1, February 2009
2. Kendra Cook and David Thiele wrote four of the sixcolumns last year, giving me a break.
3. I was shocked by the number of people who read thiscolumn and enjoy it. I feel that being editor of this column is more important than any technical paper I everwrote, or other volunteer activity that I have done forthe IEEE AP-S.
So, for the foreseeable future, I will remain your humble ethics columnist! The final installment of "Should my daughterbecome an engineer?" will be published soon. ~~)
IEEE Antennas and Propagation MagaZine, Vol. 51, No.1, February 2009 175