This is related to an incidence where someone had hurt my feelings by being insensitive towards me and I was just trying to relate the incidence in front of my male colleague who was supposedly very straight forward but blunt. The male colleague, who had hurt my sentiments as he wanted me to do certain work as he was going to be away for some days and so he wanted to take up the assignment that was urgent and needs to be taken up on the Saturday meeting with our boss. I had assured the person that I would do my best to write up the assignment before his arrival so that matter could be presented. I started up with the project but had to abandon mid-way as certain other urgent work cropped up and on his arrival on Saturday morning things were not ready for presentation. He started shouting and screaming at me and blamed me that I had sabotaged the entire project. I tried to explain very quietly and humbly that there was nothing to be so rude and harsh about it as I was occupied with other assignment. Tim, another male colleague was trying to play as mediator was trying to understand and then said “why did not you call Smith to explain the thing night before”. I said that I was too occupied with personal work and thought that Smith just wanted a favor from me and I never promised that I shall do it jeopardizing my own assignment. Smith’s contention was that he was required to be intimated the night before, if I was too occupied with my work. Even Tim shared his views and both justified the rude behavior with a woman. I am totally bruised and strongly feel that how these men can treat so rudely with a woman for no fault of her? My only fault was that I did not call Smith to explain my position, but, Smith could have called me up to ascertain the facts, if he felt that work was so urgent and needed to have been complied by Saturday morning.

To simply the communication, I feel it is a case of male superiority over female, who would like exert themselves as they are loud and forceful in their conversation. The men in general are resolvers of issue but, women are relaters. Men try to resolve by focusing on work, on taking exact action and then try to seek solutions as per their terms and conditions. Women on the other hand are more interested in pleasing. This was the reason why I took the burden of someone else, which I could have easily avoided or shrugged off. But, I had a tender feeling towards my fellow colleague. I undertook the responsibility because I had emotions and externally focused, while my approach was internal. It seems Women are more interested in establishing rapport while Men think about only report. [1]

To overcome such situation, women need to speak with more authority instead of breaking down because this would reveal their weaker side time and again. As Men are more assertive speakers, they tend to suppress Women through their strong voice, so women should not wait for their turn to speak and should rather put their points strongly without getting emotional. Secondly, women should be more clear and precise in their communication for e.g. instead of “I hear you” “I agree with you” and should more bring an element of certainty in their discussion so that doubts may be cleared at the outset. [1] Similarly, men have also to play their role in bridging the gap because Women relate things with personal stories and Men are interested in facts and figures to justify certain things. Both genders need to understand this subtle difference and should give some time for relationship to grow and nurture. [2]

[1] http://www.expertmagazine.com/articles/gendergap.htm

[2] http://www.coaching-for-new-women-managers.com/gender-communication-gap.html