COMMUNICATING

WITH YOUNG

CHILDREN THE

MONTESSORI WAY

In every center, caregivers care for thechildren and carry out activities accordingto the goals of the particular program. Inthe Montessori program, where everythingrepresents a possible opportunity for thechild’s learning, how the caregivers care forthe children and carry out activitiesdepends on how the caregiverscommunicate with the children. Ideally,communicating with children the

Montessori way shows genuineappreciation and respect for the childrenand follows Montessori principles.

Communicating the Montessori wayinvolves more than words and tone. It alsoinvolves attitude, body language andactions responsive to the children and theirneeds. For under-threes, responsivecommunicating helps each child developtrust in the caregivers, feel free to move andexplore, and develop his/her own skills.How does a caregiver communicate withchildren in the Montessori way? Thefollowing list is not exhaustive, but gives tenimportant ways of communicating in aMontessori childcare center:

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• Prepare the environment carefully.

• Use proactive guidance strategies.

• Intervene gently, quietly, and only whennecessary.

• Give a directed choice.

• Use touch often.

• Slow down.

• Speak and listen with respect.

• Use non-verbal signals for quiet andstopping.

• Make socializing an everyday experience.

• Support competence and independence.

PREPARE THE ENVIRONMENT CAREFULLYThe carefully prepared Montessorienvironment communicates to the child thatshe/he can move and explore easily andsafely. It also communicates that it containsattractive things that interest and challengethe child, motivating the child to move andexplore and rewarding the child’s naturalcuriosity. Since preparing the environmenthas been covered in more detail earlier,here are just a few examples of how youcan prepare the environment tocommunicate important messages to thechildren:

• Build in control of error that challengesthe children to learn to control theirmovements. For example, make sure thatchairs and tables move easily if jostled.

• Make the children feel welcome andcompetent to make choices for their own

comfort. For example, choose furniturethat is child-size and in a variety ofshapes and sizes.

• Accept that a certain amount ofuntidiness is normal when children arelearning. Locate practical life, sensoryand art activities near child-size sinks sothat the children can easily access thematerials they need for cleaning.

• Ground the children in what is real beforeintroducing them to fantasy. Offer real orrealistic-looking objects for them to workwith.

• Keep use of plastic materials to aminimum. Remember that young childrenlearn by using all their senses: sight,hearing, taste, touch and smell. Plastic,being odorless and generally hard andsmooth in texture, does not offer therange of sensory stimulation provided bynatural objects. Instead, as often aspossible, present a wide variety of realobjects appealing to all five senses.Examples: unusual vegetables and fruits,aromatic herbs, fabrics, child-sizemusical instruments, objects from nature.

USE PROACTIVE GUIDANCE STRATEGIESProactive guidance refers tocommunication strategies that manyMontessori teachers have found effectivebecause the goal is to guide, not force,children in positive ways as they develop.Instead of deciding how the child willdevelop, caregivers in a Montessoripreschool act as guides for the children.Using proactive guidance strategies ratherthan praise or punishment, the caregivers

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communicate to the children when they arenot acting suitably, compliment them whenthey are, and show the children that thereare many alternatives to unsuitablebehavior. Here are a few examples of waysyou can communicate what is suitablebehavior to young children:

• Let the children know that you notice andappreciate their suitable behavior. Whenthe child behaves suitably, use positiveinteraction, a communication strategyconsisting of quiet, simple statements orphysical responses that let a child knowthat he/she has been noticed andacknowledged. Positive interaction doesnot involve cheering and clapping orreward and punishment. Thereinforcement can be as simple as asmile or a quiet observation, such as “Isee you put that mat away, Janey” or“Amid, you are turning those pages verycarefully” or “Ben, I hear how quietly youclosed that door.”

• Communicate to the children thatcooperative behavior, not competition, isthe norm. Do not encourage the childrento run races or to be the first in line.

• Make every effort not to rewardunsuitable behavior with direct attention.For example, try not to react immediatelywhen a child screams in anger or throwshim/herself on the floor in a rage. Instead,acknowledge the behavior and help thechild identify the feelings behind it: “Ihear that you are feeling angry” or “I seethat you are crying. Are you feeling sad?”Then calmly look for opportunities todirect the child to more suitable behavior.

• Show the children that playingcooperatively can be fun. Develop arepertoire of constructive cooperativegames and play them regularly with thechildren.

Intervene gently, quietly, and only when necessary

Another important way Montessoricaregivers communicate is by interveninggently, quietly, and only when necessary.

• Unless a child is in danger, wait beforeintervening in the children’s socialinteractions. Give the children time tosolve their own problems and settle theirown differences.

• If possible, prevent unsuitable behaviorsby gently and quietly distracting orredirecting. Sometimes just holding aninteresting object or placing yourselfcalmly on the floor between two infantsor toddlers and engaging with themdefuses a situation. Another proactiveguidance strategy, referred to as gluing,involves keeping a child who is restlessor disturbing others close by for a periodof time before inviting the child to choosea more suitable activity. This strategy isparticularly effective for toddlers andtwos who are new to the childcare centeror have been disturbing others. However,the Montessori caregiver’s goal is toguide the child as soon as possible tosomething that engages the child andallows him/her to move and workindependently of the caregiver.

• When the children are absorbed inactivities, communicate that their work isimportant to you as well as to them.

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Intervene as little as possible. Observethe situation before you decide when,whether and how to intervene. Forexample, 18-month-old Marta is trying toplace the last wooden block into a box.The box keeps sliding so that Marta can’tget the last block in. Marta’s caregiverobserves from a distance, and sees boththat Marta is trying to solve the problemand that Marta is becoming frustrated.The caregiver quietly approaches Martaand holds the box steady so that Martacan fit in the last block. As soon as thelast block is in, Marta dumps all theblocks out and starts fitting them inagain. The caregiver quietly removesherself from the scene.

Give a directed choice

As much as possible, offer a directedchoice, giving a child the opportunity tochoose between two equally attractive andpositive actions or objects. This way ofcommunicating shows the child that youhave confidence in her/his ability to makechoices and gives the child experience inexpressing preferences. For example, donot ask the child “What do you want?”(Possible answer: “My pail from home.”) or“Do you want the red pail?” (Possibleanswer: “No, no, no.”) Instead, offer twochoices with similarly positive outcomes.For example, say: “Sami, do you want thered pail or the blue pail?” or “Tina, wouldyou like to stay here and keep working onthis puzzle or go outside and paint rocks?”

Use touch often

Research conducted throughout the last halfof the twentieth century has confirmed oneof Montessori’s ideas about what helpschildren’s brains develop — that for young

children, infants especially, touch is animportant form of communication. Touch inthe form of cuddling and stroking has longbeen used to communicate caring andcomfort to young children. Such touchinghas a calming effect on most young children,allowing them to experience the people,things and sensations around them. Withevery experience, more neural pathways areestablished in the child’s brain.

Montessori caregivers can find manyopportunities for touching under-threes. Forinfants, diapering presents an idealopportunity to stroke the infant’s body. Thecaregiver could also make a special timeeach day — after feeding, for example — tomassage the infant’s body. Touching theinfant can also provide an opportunity for alanguage activity, where the caregivernames each body part or quietly sings abody song to the infant. For older infants,toddlers and twos, who are very physical intheir relationship with the world, touch canalso be a communication of caring andcomfort. A toddler may climb up into acaregiver’s lap to look at a book and a two-year-old may lean against a caregiver’s legwhile chatting.

However, caregivers need to remember thatnot all young children welcome and respondto touch in the same way. To use touch asan effective way of communicating, thecaregiver approaches gently and quietly,observes the child’s reactions to gentletouch, and learns each child’s preferences.For example, an infant may dislike beingundressed and may prefer being wrapped ina blanket while being massaged, and a two-year-old may like having his back rubbedwhile he goes to sleep.

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Slow down

Caregivers working with under-threes havealready developed fine and gross motorskills, language, cognition, and many otherskills. Caregivers can move and thinkquickly and efficiently. Under-threes are juststarting to develop all of these skills. Tocommunicate to the children that the centeris truly focused on them and their needs, itis important for Montessori caregivers toadjust their rhythm to the children’s rhythm.Moving slowly and carefully both slows thecaregiver to the pace of the children, whotend to look at and examine everything, andmodels careful and safe movement foreveryone in the childcare environment.Another way caregivers can communicatecareful and safe movement is by showingthe children how to carry items carefully —one at a time, in both hands — and byalways carrying items that way themselves.

Speak and listen with respect

Speaking and listening with respect is animportant part of communicating withchildren the Montessori way. Just as withintervening, the respectful caregiverobserves and listens before deciding whatto say, how to say it — or whether to sayanything at all. Montessori felt that children

most often forget what they hear and thathaving to listen to someone can disrupt achild’s concentration. Montessori caregiverslearn to stay back quietly and let the childhave his/her own experience as much aspossible. Here are some ways caregiverscan show respect when they are speakingor listening to under-threes:

• Always speak slowly, quietly and clearly.One of the unique characteristics of theMontessori center is that adult voices arewell in the background, not in theforeground.

• Bend or crouch down to look into thechild’s eyes while you are talking orlistening to the child.

• Invite rather than command. Speak to thechildren as courteously as you would speak to a valued adult, using suchwords and phrases as “Please,” “Thankyou,” and “May I?”

• Use correct words for things, not slangwords or “baby talk.” Remember thatmost toddlers and twos acquiringlanguage skills love using “big words”and are interested in learning them.

• Feed an infant with very little speaking,so that the infant can simply focus on thepleasure of being held and receivingnourishment.

• Speak quietly and lovingly to the childespecially when the child is showingunsuitable behavior or has made amistake. Your quiet, loving attitude willinfluence the child to behave in the sameway and not react with anger, fear orfrustration.

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